Where you bullied growing up as being an INTJ?

[Lucan]

As the small, new kid in which ever school I was in at the time ( moved around because my dad) I was picked on because I didn't fit in. Not that I wanted to even back then but I was curious about how many other INTJ's have had the same experience?

[Alcuin]

I was a Hispanic girl with an accent in an all-white Catholic school. I had a quirky personality, which also hurt me. So I didn't do too well until I got into public school, and had learned to act like I was something else.

[lordrrr]

I wasn't picked on much. In 4th grade I had a little trouble at one point, and in 8th grade there was this one wigger (but he picked on everybody). Other than those grades I mostly was left alone, I didn't let people mess with me, and if they did I'd return the favor.

[Lucan]

I started reading very young and my enjoyment of books probaly contributed to the bullying. I not saying that I never stood up for myself.( I have my dad's irish temper to thank for that) I just wondering if the bullying was because of the not fitting in or not fitting in due to being an INTJ. What do you think?

[Solus]

I was picked on when I was in primary school. It didn't help that I also happened to be one of the youngest and smallest pupils in the class. However, I don't recall taking it personally before reaching adolescence. It was in those days that I found some strategies to avoid being picked on. Mind you, they failed more often than not. These days, I rarely harbour resentment towards my former oppressors (I suppose people change). Besides and curiously enough many of them have ended up with mundane dead-end jobs.
But to answer Lucan's question, yes, I suppose that being an INTJ made it easy for my oppressors to single me out.

[SmileyMan]

I was also harassed for being different, though the idiots always did it in groups and not alone, so I was kind of helpless. I still hate them to this day and wish all bad in this world will happen to them. :) I think it was because they were jealous of me being more successful than them. They were the types who smoked weed every weekend/weekday and came to school stoned. Basically your stereotypical LOSER.

[Kotetsu]

In the last year of primary and the first two years of secondary education I was bullied pretty much daily by various groups. I happen to be the smallest and one of the most high achieving people in my year (academically) so, as a boy, I was never going to be well liked. Those years have made me resentful of people: both those who participated in the bullying and those who ignored what was happening (I am far from the only person to have suffered continuous bullying in my year: some still do). What frustrates me more than anything else are the assemblies we have where some suck-ups will get up on stage and talk about all the work the school is doing to help the children of Malawi get an education (a perfectly valid and worthwhile cause) while they ignore the kids who need help right next to them. I'm currently struggling to reconcile my generally resentment of people around me.

[Nausved]

If I was, I was too absent-minded to notice.

[eMachine]

I wouldn't say that INTJ makes it easier to be a victim of bullying, but the I is probably the biggest part I think.

I began skipping school in 3rd grade because of it, I would hide in a quiet, woody spot and read all day instead. I wouldn't say there was any physical bullying, just teasing. I think that there's always alot of teasing in school, but I guess I took it harder than most other kids, I have horrible social anxiety. I would constantly try to analyze what my peers meant and why they chose me, but I never thought there was anything wrong with me so I couldn't make sense of it.

I spent most of my adolescence in group homes for children with behavior problems, because everyone seemed to think I just didn't like school and didn't want to learn, which was certainly a false perception. I would tell them (parents, school authorities, social workers) that the other kids didn't like me, but they thought it was an excuse. No one ever mentioned social anxiety to me, and I of course didn't know back then how to describe it. So, instead they just considered me a truant delinquent and dealt with me accordingly, rather than seeking the root of the problem and offering some counseling. The wonderful American public school system at its' finest.

P.S. I am a highschool drop-out and I still suffer from serious social anxiety.

[lordrrr]

I wouldn't say that INTJ makes it easier to be a victim of bullying, but the I is probably the biggest part I think.

I began skipping school in 3rd grade because of it, I would hide in a quiet, woody spot and read all day instead. I wouldn't say there was any physical bullying, just teasing. I think that there's always alot of teasing in school, but I guess I took it harder than most other kids, I have horrible social anxiety. I would constantly try to analyze what my peers meant and why they chose me, but I never thought there was anything wrong with me so I couldn't make sense of it.

I spent most of my adolescence in group homes for children with behavior problems, because everyone seemed to think I just didn't like school and didn't want to learn, which was certainly a false perception. I would tell them (parents, school authorities, social workers) that the other kids didn't like me, but they thought it was an excuse. No one ever mentioned social anxiety to me, and I of course didn't know back then how to describe it. So, instead they just considered me a truant delinquent and dealt with me accordingly, rather than seeking the root of the problem and offering some counseling. The wonderful American public school system at its' finest.

P.S. I am a highschool drop-out and I still suffer from serious social anxiety.

I'm sorry to hear that. It's inexcusable that anyone should be denied a healthy education because they refuse to conform to the norm.

[pinkroger]

No one bullied me. I was always the one INTJ in the entire school that was able to scare everyone off. If they tried to bully me, I would simply tell them that they would wake up on a burning crucifix. Worked very well. Then there were the idiots that weren't trying to bully me, but were so stupid, they were worse than those that intentionally (albeit only once or twice before they learned their lesson) bullied me. For those I would come up with devilishly subtle or complex ways to agonizingly kill them, and then divulge the plans to the school at large. Horrified some people.

[lordrrr]

No one bullied me. I was always the one INTJ in the entire school that was able to scare everyone off. If they tried to bully me, I would simply tell them that they would wake up on a burning crucifix. Worked very well. Then there were the idiots that weren't trying to bully me, but were so stupid, they were worse than those that intentionally (albeit only once or twice before they learned their lesson) bullied me. For those I would come up with devilishly subtle or complex ways to agonizingly kill them, and then divulge the plans to the school at large. Horrified some people.


What, you were gonna pull of a Columbine or something?

[eMachine]

No one bullied me. I was always the one INTJ in the entire school that was able to scare everyone off. If they tried to bully me, I would simply tell them that they would wake up on a burning crucifix. Worked very well. Then there were the idiots that weren't trying to bully me, but were so stupid, they were worse than those that intentionally (albeit only once or twice before they learned their lesson) bullied me. For those I would come up with devilishly subtle or complex ways to agonizingly kill them, and then divulge the plans to the school at large. Horrified some people.

That's what my husband (ENTJ) tells me that I should've done in school. Apparently it worked for him and he had no reservations about making people believe there was a possibility for him to be a psychopath. It reminds me of that movie "The New Guy" or whatever it was called. He also had a twin brother to deal with, so it came more naturally to him. All of my siblings were 8 or more years older than me growing up.

I was also harassed for being different, though the idiots always did it in groups and not alone, so I was kind of helpless. I still hate them to this day and wish all bad in this world will happen to them. :) I think it was because they were jealous of me being more successful than them. They were the types who smoked weed every weekend/weekday and came to school stoned. Basically your stereotypical LOSER.

LOL
That was the only group that I could fit in with as a teenager, because they cared about nothing else aside of whether you smoked with them or not. It was always the "jock" types who gave me problems. I was the cute, quiet girl so none of the stoners suspected that I was different and/or smarter than them. In my rural area there were really only those 2 groups... either you were athletic and cared about their football games, or you were a stoner... not alot of adacemic possibility at schools in my area.

[cda]

I was picked on for a bit. But my father gave me good advice, he didnt fit in either, he was the type of guy, that back in the late 60's early 70's when the world was singing acoustic songs about peace, he was working on his Cyclone and listening to Black Sabbath. His philosophy was, mind your own business and if anyone gave me shit, try to avoid it, and if that didnt work then it's ok to punch them in the nose.

[SmileyMan]

That's what my husband (ENTJ) tells me that I should've done in school. Apparently it worked for him and he had no reservations about making people believe there was a possibility for him to be a psychopath. It reminds me of that movie "The New Guy" or whatever it was called. He also had a twin brother to deal with, so it came more naturally to him. All of my siblings were 8 or more years older than me growing up.



LOL
That was the only group that I could fit in with as a teenager, because they cared about nothing else aside of whether you smoked with them or not. It was always the "jock" types who gave me problems. I was the cute, quiet girl so none of the stoners suspected that I was different and/or smarter than them. In my rural area there were really only those 2 groups... either you were athletic and cared about their football games, or you were a stoner... not alot of adacemic possibility at schools in my area.

No, the kind of people I'm talking about aren't just stoners. They're a coctail of a domestically bad situation, stupidity, violence, jealousy and drugs. We have quite a lot of those here in Denmark; mostly immigrants from the Middle-East.

[kovsky]

Interesting..

On the early days of school, I was never bullied by anyone. Somehow, the folks around me never tried or had the bravery to do it. They looked at me as if I am immune to teasing or bullying. I was considered a good person to them, never messing with anyone.

But, after completing 4th grade, I moved to another town. The people there are mostly stylish and if one doesn'fit in (which was me)that person will be the subject of bullying and teasing. The bullying only lasted a year though, when they realised that their actions had no significant results.

[DeadSpace]

Grade school (up to 8th) well liked or left alone. Few physical type bullies, easily handled. High school, same deal. Liked by most, or left alone. Wasn't afraid to stand up for myself, and found that a few early fights vs physical bullies (i wouldn't start the fights) in a new school, pretty much left you free from that type while you were there.
Social type bullies, would usually give up within a week, heh.

[eMachine]

No, the kind of people I'm talking about aren't just stoners. They're a coctail of a domestically bad situation, stupidity, violence, jealousy and drugs. We have quite a lot of those here in Denmark; mostly immigrants from the Middle-East.


Oh... here in Pennsyvania, they're "home-grown" and we call them rednecks. :thumbsup:

Most of them are either the athletic types I mentioned, or mechanic types, working on cars, riding ATVs etc. Most of them seem to be more likely to drink alcohol and do other drugs, usually pharmaceutical drugs, or "meth", or cocaine if they can get it. They're druggies, rather than stoners, I reserve the latter term for marijuana users. Druggies may smoke marijuana as well, but it's not their first choice and generally only used when the substances to which they're addicted are unavailable.

[ElstonGunn]

I never had any problems with bullies. But then again, I was usually one of the older and bigger kids in my class. And I went to a pretty small school. I think there were about 160 people in my graduating class, and everybody had been going to the same school system since kindergarten.

[AgentofGaming]

I was never specifically bullied, although there were always those tough guys in my class who you wouldn't want to offend.
Now I think I picked on someone in elementary because I didn't like his attitude, always asking for more homework for the class. No I don't think it was right to, but I just did it, I was probably young and foolish.

[f03cuss]

I was usually bored in middle school so i would act up and make the class laugh. Dry humor combined with being smarter than the bullies probably saved me more than i know.

[mxdntz]

Thank God for sports. I went to 6 different schools through 7th grade and luckily I was decent at playing football, baseball and basketball or else I'm sure I would have not had very many friends. I learned to not stand out too much for fear of being bullied, but I was never bullied. Regretfully sometimes I did the bullying once I got in with the popular kids. I never made kids give me anything or harassed without reason, but I was quick to go for the throat when I became angry. I was a POS and I took it out on easy targets. Don't worry Karma has payed me back and now even when it is justified, I feel horrible using physical force on anyone. I always learn my lessons the hard way.

[Haphazard]

If I was, I was too absent-minded to notice.

Agreed.

I was mostly off in my own little world, so it was difficult to tell sometimes whether somebody was trying to be nice or trying to make fun of me. Most of the time I stuck with people I knew and didn't pay much attention outside of the circle of friends I had, so nothing really got through. Though I was always a little odd and a little smart, my mind was too busy to process the bullying as, well, bullying.

Once in elementary school there was this boy who bullied everyone though, and he was about twice as big as all the other kids. He'd tease me a lot, so instead of fighting back I would say 'hello' in a very coquettish way every time I saw him. He told the teacher and we both got sent to the assistant principal's office, because I had disturbed him and everything was my fault. :rolleyes: This is the reward I get for nonviolent protest.

[thaddeus6th]

Yes and no. In primary school yes: but that was because I had a fascinating array of speech impediments (unfortunately, despite being born and bred in Yorkshire I speak like a newsreader from the 1950s).

At secondary school I was a swot, but more popular than the other swot in our class. I was pretty much left alone, and somehow acquired a reputation as a psychopath, which was probably useful.

[denaria]

Teased a lot, bullied a lot* (all girls' school). Very high IQ on top of weird personality (nice girls weren't expected to be interested in nuclear physics) made it almost impossible to fit in. Age 12 I semi-dropped out, did just enough to get by, indulged in various types of more or less destructive behaviour - and got some "friends". It's taken me nearly 40 years to start to catch up with myself...

* When I was 25-ish I bumped into one of the bullies - who, without a word on my part, apologised for having been so mean to me.

[lordrrr]

Teased a lot, bullied a lot* (all girls' school). Very high IQ on top of weird personality (nice girls weren't expected to be interested in nuclear physics) made it almost impossible to fit in. Age 12 I semi-dropped out, did just enough to get by, indulged in various types of more or less destructive behaviour - and got some "friends". It's taken me nearly 40 years to start to catch up with myself...

* When I was 25-ish I bumped into one of the bullies - who, without a word on my part, apologised for having been so mean to me.

My dad told me this story of how he grew up as a small kid and was physically bullied by this one guy. As he grew older, he worked out and became extremely buff. He was at a bar once and bumped into the guy. The guy was like "That was a long time ago man" and shit.


Pussy.

[Gabrielle]

I was picked on - a lot - but at my school you just DON'T mess with the Student Council president, because basically the president RULES the school. And hence it stopped rather precipitously when I won the election. (which was easy to win, yey presidential elections). otherwise, I made my own retaliations... after that people learned that messing with me was a bad, bad idea.

[Uytuun]

I certainly wasn't universally well-liked, but I was confident (in my weirdness) and didn't care too much about what they said behind my back. I was a high-achiever, but I wasn't a teacher's pet. I think they had some kind of respect for my brilliance.

[eternaltriangle]

When I was 6 I found a way around bullying. My friend and I told the bully that we supported his bullying efforts, and were willing to be his henchmen. As his henchman we did nothing except call him Mr. Bossyman and draw funny pictures of him.

For me grade 3 was torture. My teacher thought I was retarded because I didn't look like I was paying attention in class (and I would challenge her sometimes, for instance when she said "cannon" was spelt "canon"). What teachers don't realize is the degree to which their singling out a student the way I was singled out legitimizes bullying (on top of which, I was a shy scrawny kid with some odd interests like the war of 1812 and singing in a high falsetto voice).

High school was great, thanks to the Gifted program. They tend to put gifted programs in schools with low test scores. My school was also the feeder school for adult students, and the neighbourhoods that sent people there were rather troubled. Despite that, I had no problem - the majority of the student body left the Gifted kids alone. Moreover, since most people didn't even show up to class, the Gifted people got to run the school as their enlightened despotism.

lordrrr, student council elections have ALWAYS been a popularity contest. However, we realized that the nerds controlled the labor force for getting things done. The yearbook (editor was an appointed position - we ran it as a triumvirate) was where the REAL power was!

I think bullying happens to more kids than you would think, however, at one point in their life or another. Kids, for whatever reason, don't seem to realize that for every bully, there are usually about ten kids being bullied. If they could stick together, they wouldn't have problems. Of course that probably wouldn't work for introverts.

[lordrrr]

In 6th grade I often felt like I was a bully, but I was just being brutally honest in a school where honesty is the ABSOLUTE WORST policy.


My friend and I wrote an article for the school paper on how the student council was terrible and wasn't getting anything done for the good of our school, and an emergency meeting for the whole school was called in for "bullying" the student council, when really we were being brutally honest. We didn't want to offend them, rather, show them that they need to improve if they want to get things done for the school's benefit, but they didn't understand.

[spiritdetectivegirl]

I was a Hispanic girl with an accent in an all-white Catholic school. I had a quirky personality, which also hurt me. So I didn't do too well until I got into public school, and had learned to act like I was something else.


It seems both of our school memories were very similar, save being hispanic.

[wiccademic]

I might as well have had a target painted on my forehead. It was relentless. 5 different schools between 1st and 12th grade. I discovered alcohol in the 9th grade and spent 15 years as an alcoholic. At least that numbed the pain.

I have since quit drinking by the way...

[ginandsour]

I was teased for being a crybaby until I was about 8. Also frequent were accusations of staring and reading too quickly. The consensus was I had to have been cheating.

I was strangely happy when the string of school shootings hit. This was because I was in high school at the time, and people left me alone after that. Something similar happened in college right after Virginia Tech and that hurt my feelings.

[Santana28]

I was picked on a lot by certain girls... the very insecure ones who needed to prop up their ego. when i was very young i started to realize that i was different from everyone else, and that odds are i would never "fit in" - so i used it to my advantage. I basically had a "friend to all, enemy to none" outlook and i would help anyone with anything who asked for it (except for my enemies, who i would "help" aka sabotage). so while i was still the odd one out and the last one chosen, when people needed to get something done *right* - they would always come to me. which put me in a position of asking for favors and getting them. i also had a method of showing passivity - which hid my true nature and intent. people assumed me to be much more benign than i was. In short - I was a 6-14 year old with MASSIVE ego issues. i've gotten over all of that now, but growing up was an interesting experience for me and while i had a very poor self-esteem that greatly disliked being teased by other girls, i found ways to gain acceptance and get back at those same girls in different ways.

[Ainegue]

When I was 6 I found a way around bullying. My friend and I told the bully that we supported his bullying efforts, and were willing to be his henchmen. As his henchman we did nothing except call him Mr. Bossyman and draw funny pictures of him. That's funny. :laugh::laugh:

I've never really experience bullying - mostly just seclusion and loneliness. Luckily for my middle school, we have a Gifted Program, and I tend to find some more people like me there. Little bullying though. If anyone is really bugging me, I just give them a "WHAT?", disgusted sort of look. Of course, most of the time they won't go away, and go "what's your problem?", so I resume my disgusted "what d'you want?" look and tell them they're either annoying or distracting. Then they tend to go away and tell their friends about that weird kid who just implied that they were stupid jerks. Which doesn't bother me - "yeah, please stay away from that weird kid" is just what I was going for. Otherwise I resume chameleon mode and try to subtly hint that they're obnoxious.

But mostly no bullying. It's a big rule at my school.

[April]

I had the same experience growing up as my family moved on average every 1 1/2 yrs. and not just from town to town, but from province to province at times. I wonder though - did we become 'targets' as a result from all that moving? In other words, was it our introversion from being the 'new kids' all the times that attracted the bullies, or would we have been different, more extroverted children if we weren't constantly on the move?

How has your career history been? I've moved through many jobs myself, even though I am almost always successful in each new venture I get bored easily and do not put up with poor / incompetent management, instead choosing to move on and start over. I often wonder why can't I just put my head down, keep my mouth shut (which would be the smart thing to do at times), and just let be, be? Why do I always feel I have to 'fix' what I see is wrong? (most of the time to my detriment) It would be nice sometimes to just keep my head down and my mouth shut, and not feel this overwhelming urge to improve what is inherently not working.

[Antares]

I was in my elementary years; people would run away from me and call me names behind my back; I had but one friend. I was alienated for some reason, and for ages I was the 'oddball'... This went on for three years, but it never happened again.

My dad told me this story of how he grew up as a small kid and was physically bullied by this one guy. As he grew older, he worked out and became extremely buff. He was at a bar once and bumped into the guy. The guy was like "That was a long time ago man" and shit.


Pussy.

ROFLLMAO. Poetic justice, man!

[Aurelia]

I was pretty much left alone, and somehow acquired a reputation as a psychopath, which was probably useful.


Reading what you wrote makes me laugh. I agree that being viewed as a little crazy will fend off most bullies. Being an army brat and moving around quite a bit, there were schools where I made lots of friends and others where it was harder. Being a petite 5'4" girl didn't help when bullies tried to have their fun with me. In every instance I fought back and they would leave me alone.

I seemed to have a pattern. Pick on me once and I won't do anything about it. Continue and I have no problem being psychotic. I was never someone who could articulate how I felt. Coming up with a clever insult was not how I handled situations. What happened? After reaching my limit things would quickly progress to a fight. Kicking, punching or biting if necessary.

In high school I had my set group of friends. After my sophomore year, four of my best friends either moved away or were home schooled. It was hard after they all left. I would say that my childhood was mixed.

[Dreamer]

I was picked on pretty much ever since I started school. Much to my chagrin, I never really fought back.I come from a family who values dicipline a great deal and the two things that were complete anathema to them were getting kicked out of school and engaging in physical violence. For this reason I never acted on my impulses(I'll let you imagine what they might have been).

With hindsight,I should have as it would have saved me from a lot of stress in the long run.

Paradoxically, I was quite liked by some students, and was not so much picked on in 10th and 11th grade,become the more popular kids would rein in their friends.

[Lucan]

How has your career history been? I've moved through many jobs myself, even though I am almost always successful in each new venture I get bored easily and do not put up with poor / incompetent management, instead choosing to move on and start over. I often wonder why can't I just put my head down, keep my mouth shut (which would be the smart thing to do at times), and just let be, be? Why do I always feel I have to 'fix' what I see is wrong? (most of the time to my detriment) It would be nice sometimes to just keep my head down and my mouth shut, and not feel this overwhelming urge to improve what is inherently not working.

The wanting to fix and create order from your view on the chaos around you is an INTJ trait. However your view is not always appreciated by those around especially not management which may have their own insecurities come out because of this. This is probably why you get bored and move on.

I tend to not stay in a position for long myself, the exception is the job I am currently in. But that is due to financial reasons and not anything else.

[knitteratheart]

Let's see, seven different public schools, always a head and a half taller than everyone in my class, bookworm, prefered hitting people with balls to shopping, yeah I got picked on a bit. Got into fist fights about once a week in middle school too...

[bucolic_]

My dad told me this story of how he grew up as a small kid and was physically bullied by this one guy. As he grew older, he worked out and became extremely buff. He was at a bar once and bumped into the guy. The guy was like "That was a long time ago man" and shit.


Pussy.

Pussy? It sounds more like he finally grew up, is that really so regrettable?

As for me, I was picked on, I generally didn't let it get to me though. Very little physical bullying though, since I was fairly big, although, I did have to help some of my smaller friends who were physically bullied. ;)

[sam988]

I don't remember being very bullied (only a few times), only being very pissed off at some people and having this feeling reciprocated by them. I think it has to do with my good physical appearance, which combined with my quiet yet confident and sarcastic style made me be, for most of the time, some sort of "reserved leader" type. Was enough for me to be fine in the school jungle.

[pallasathena]

I would tell them (parents, school authorities, social workers) that the other kids didn't like me, but they thought it was an excuse

Wow, you jarred an old memory with that line. I was teased in junior high (middle school to you) and my mother had no sympathy for me. She said that it was my fault because I had a superiority complex and was unfriendly. I told her that I wasn't unfriendly, just discriminating. Thank God that high school was fine. Middle school was hell, but I think it made me a more compassionate and stronger person. Everybody is not going to like you, but that's OK because I don't like everybody. The only difference with me is that I never went out of my way to harrass and torture people I didn't like; I simply chose to ignore them. For some strange reason, that seemed to antagonize them even more. The world wants to steal our INTJ power from us because they feel powerless. Don't let them!

[April]

The wanting to fix and create order from your view on the chaos around you is an INTJ trait. However your view is not always appreciated by those around especially not management which may have their own insecurities come out because of this. This is probably why you get bored and move on.

I tend to not stay in a position for long myself, the exception is the job I am currently in. But that is due to financial reasons and not anything else.

In a way that's comforting to know, that I'm not alone. Boy, do I ever bring out Management's insecurities! They complain about poor results, I provide a way to achieve more and they hate me for it. I used to think it was because I'm a woman, but maybe there's something else in my make-up that attracts this reaction. I'd like to find a way to still create order out of chaos AND keep people on my side at the same time. And I am always very nice and tactful, it's not like I'm rude or overbearing in case you're wondering. I just see what needs to be done and how to accomplish it successfully very clearly where others never do seem to grasp it much of the time.

Kinda lonely out here at times.

[sriv]

In my view I was bullied when I grew up. I always dressed horribly out of fashion and was a head shorter than everyone else when I grew up. Subconciously, I figured out that staying quiet is the best way to not get repeatedly bullied because the bully gets bored with you. Gradually, I became more silent until 6th grade when I was selectively mute, probably because of my extreme anxiety of one person who teased me a bit for 5 minutes of homeroom. I would do anything to avoid that block of time, my whole day I was thinking about it, not depressed, but calculating and begrudging. In retrospect, I was extremely immature back then and did not think to look more friendly and amiable to him. I just glared at him and he backed off after a week. LOL. The people watching must of thought something was wrong with me. In high school people back off of people that do not bother with their buisness, so its a much better environment.

[HousesOfApollo]

More often than not, I was the one to bully. Usually, I would decide on one kid that I really despised, then I'd wait until he was in a vulnerable position, then sneak up behind him to beat him up. Once, I had even plotted to kill the teacher, since she was really beginning to annoy me. This was when I was about 6 or 7 years old; it's kind of a legend about me. I can remember quite clearly calling out, "Let's kill the teacher!" during a particularly infuriating moment. My accomplices turned me in, and the rest is a very dark chapter of my childhood.

As a child, no-one ever explained a damn thing to me. If someone demanded that I do something, of course I needed to know the reason why. The only reason that was ever provided was simply "Because I told you so," which is pretty much the lamest reason to do anything. Nowadays, I've figured out how to get answers on my own and come with my own reasons for doing things.

I felt, even then, like I deserved to be treated as a rational person, and I resented feeling like I was a puppet on their strings. As a result of this behavior, I am still sort of branded as evil, despite the fact that I have a very advanced moral code. All those jerks who pushed me to doing the things that I did probably couldn't hold a candle to me as far as morality is concerned. Putting on a pretty face, and being popular, doesn't make you any more moral than me. [Funny thing is, even people who like me say I'm kind of evil; and these are people who know I'm really a nice guy, deep down inside.]

I'm not proud of having been a bully, and I will heartily apologize to anyone I may have hurt. Most of my life, I have felt as if the world was working against me, to hurt, humiliate, and utterly destroy me. When I lashed out in my youth I can remember a very specific logic behind my scheming violence; I actually took great care to only attack those who had wronged me. More often than not, I'd take on children who were my physical equals, and in that respect I wasn't a typical bully. In fact, I was less athletic than the kids I attacked. My main motives were to bully them before they could bully me.

Everything about me seems to be more defensive than offensive, and I think that this trend began way back then. It's as if the world is trying to force its ways upon me, and if I don't act to protect myself it'll beat me down and utterly debase me. That said, I've actually mellowed out in my adulthood. Despite all the predictions about how rotten I'd end up being, I'm actually a somewhat nice person.

I can't help thinking, however, how much better my childhood would have been if people just had the presence of mind to explain things to me. Every therapist that they took me to pretty much said that I was psychopath; so under that assumption they sought to control and tame me. To make a long story short, I was treated like a potential killer, when in all actuality I was just an awkward, emotionally inept little nerd who needed his life to make some sense.

[Parallel]

I never got the saying that high school is usually the worst 4 years of someone's life. I LOVED high school. Obviously as an INTJ I tend towards introversion, but I was always socially extroverted.

I guess I was one of those rare INTJs who was a bully. Looking back on middle school and high school, I still can't believe what a bitch I was. I was always friends with those jocks and girls who I look at now and despise for thinking their shit don't stink. We didn't even know what low self-esteem was; I completely did not know or even think to censor any utterly rude and hurtful thing I felt like saying to anyone, all we cared about was having fun. The thing was those kids are good kids and will do a lot for you if you're friends with them but they'll be ruthless to other kids they consider to be "losers."

Only when I fell in love with one of those weird kids that everyone shits on did I start to understand that other kids were miserable. When I started dating the "loser," all of a sudden he was cool because he was my boyfriend and went from the weird kid to being friends with my jock friends.

Contrary to most people's notions of a bully, I don't think a bully is always a bully because they have some kind of deep down low self-esteem and they're trying to compensate by bringing others down. I know back in high school, my friends and I just thought we were the shit because other kids with low self-esteem would treat us that way and allow themselves to be treated that way. It's sad that it's all just based on the clothes you wear, how attractive you are, and who you're friends with.

I'm still friends with a lot of my middle school/high school friends and I love them because we all know each other so well but now when I make new friends I tend towards very different people.

[acyckowski]

I would go through cycles. Get bullied because I was socially awkward, let the anger fester and boil for a while, and then get in a fight. That would settle things for a while, but then it would repeat. Finally ended in HS when I powdered a kid's nose. Respect and a healthy dose of fear go a long way toward leaving the weird kids alone.

The lesson learned for me was that if you don't fit in, you better be able to stand up for yourself.

[Caramel]

This topic is depressing. Just reading through other people's replies makes my eyes burn and my veins inflame. So much unresolved anger..I feel like shooting somebody.

[acyckowski]

Shooting while angry is bad. The elevated blood pressure and constricted pupils throw off your aim.

[TheLastMohican]

Shooting while angry is bad. The elevated blood pressure and constricted pupils throw off your aim.

I thought pupils dilate when you are angry.

[henfant]

In my case, I guess it was a bit different. Being 6f2 didn't make me a good bullying target, but in my days, back in Spain, bullying wasn't that common. I guess small private schools didn't give much room for it.


However, the big Yogi bear (this is Spain, late 80s, Hobbit land) was letting himself psicologically beat up by a number of so-called best friends. In all cases it took my ISTN gfriend to stand up to the abuse and open my eyes (that I see today, I didn't at the time).

We were teenagers and young adults then, I didn't get phisical abuse, but now I see that I was the target of the frustrations of others, and went along thinking that that was the price to pay. For what? Lower-middle class inferiority syndrome, I guess.

I moved out of the country, new people, new circles, new friends, no nonsense approach to life and now I see that my still today partner combined with an alone-in-the-crowd feeling rescued me from a life as a pet.

I am still the big bear with the wikipedia brain, who will take shit by the shipload, but at least now I can see that there was a learning curve.

Now I just choose to ignore that type of people, it's easy being an INTJ, I can wipe somebody off my address book, life and brain while impulsibly reading -as usual- any combination of letters around me that make sense.

Past experiences allow to see them coming, and erasing ability allows for possible social missjudgement... But the circle is getting smaller and smaller and I find myself writting about my deeper feelings online. That saves in therapy, doesn't it?

I use to stand up for those phisically bullyied at school, trying to argue the pointlessness of the bullies, so I sympathise with those who have been bullied. A few years ago I saw in the tube Luis, the target of jokes and beat-ups back then. Let's just say that I considered myself a faliure. I could and should have done a lot more for him. Trying to argue the reasons for bullying with the bully when it is happening was not the right approach. That I know today. And I am sorry for it.

[Lucan]

Past experiences allow to see them coming, and erasing ability allows for possible social missjudgement... But the circle is getting smaller and smaller and I find myself writting about my deeper feelings online. That saves in therapy, doesn't it?

I use to stand up for those phisically bullyied at school, trying to argue the pointlessness of the bullies, so I sympathise with those who have been bullied. A few years ago I saw in the tube Luis, the target of jokes and beat-ups back then. Let's just say that I considered myself a faliure. I could and should have done a lot more for him. Trying to argue the reasons for bullying with the bully when it is happening was not the right approach. That I know today. And I am sorry for it.

I started this thread to see what other INTJ,s had been through. Apparently I have opened a can of worms. I have never seen the bullies that I had to deal with as a child but I have learnt from others that none of them are doing well(divorced, alcohols, dead, in prison etc.). Must be sum sort of karma then. Not that I wished them harm, I kept my head down and did what I needed to for myself. I think that being bullied also made me look out for myself more. I may not have everything but I am happy with what I have.
And apparently its more than what my childhood bullies have.

[acyckowski]

I thought pupils dilate when you are angry.

I'm pretty sure they constrict due to the extra blood flow to the head. Hence, "seeing red."

Regardless, being angry restricts your field of vision.

[TheLastMohican]

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

They dilate.

[acyckowski]

I stand corrected.

Still ruins your sight picture, though.

[TheLastMohican]

I stand corrected.

A first on this forum! :cheesy:

Still ruins your sight picture, though.

Of course. I just like to nitpick. ;D

[acyckowski]

Of course. I just like to nitpick. ;D


I expect nothing less on this forum.

[rwyatt365]

No one bullied me. I was always the one INTJ in the entire school that was able to scare everyone off. If they tried to bully me, I would simply tell them that they would wake up on a burning crucifix. Worked very well. Then there were the idiots that weren't trying to bully me, but were so stupid, they were worse than those that intentionally (albeit only once or twice before they learned their lesson) bullied me. For those I would come up with devilishly subtle or complex ways to agonizingly kill them, and then divulge the plans to the school at large. Horrified some people.
I was somewhat similar. I was quiet and unassuming, but whenever someone tried to bully me I showed them the violent temper that I had. I had no qualms about using whatever means was at my disposal to end any provocation quickly, and effectively. I once picked up a large stone and told a provocateur, "I will take this rock and bash your skull in so badly that no one will recognize you!" I wasn't grinning, and I was looking directly into their fear-filled eyes. One, or two times like that and people learned to give me a wide berth.

[TheLastMohican]

I was somewhat similar. I was quiet and unassuming, but whenever someone tried to bully me I showed them the violent temper that I had. I had no qualms about using whatever means was at my disposal to end any provocation quickly, and effectively. I once picked up a large stone and told a provocateur, "I will take this rock and bash your skull in so badly that no one will recognize you!" I wasn't grinning, and I was looking directly into their fear-filled eyes. One, or two times like that and people learned to give me a wide berth.

Yeah, I think that might give me pause too.

*ducks*

[dandylion]

I was never bullied. Teased a few times, maybe, but everyone gets teased sometimes, and I got over it. But overall people liked me because I was a nice person. I think I might've been a bit of a bully myself, though. Or just mean. For a year in elementary school I was "friends" with a girl, and I bossed her around a lot and would sometimes pinch her arm if she didn't do what I wanted (I never asked her to do anything bad, though... just silly kid stuff like, "Go over there!" or "Get me the ball!"). I feel bad. She was such a nice person and never complained about anything.

[Ace1337]

I was picked on till puberty, even though I always stood up to all bullies. Through puberty I grew a lot, I'm 190cm tall(6foot4inch I think), so my physical appearance has kept me from getting picked on.

[DeafEars]

I don't know when my INTJ started... but when I was a kid I used to be the bully hehehehe. It is probably because I think more advance than other kids that time. I started cheating when I was in kindergarten 1, when I forged my mom's signature.. yeah thats how evil I am.. of course I got caught..

[suzyk]

Yes. When I first moved to Canada, kids didn't like me because I was so quiet and I preferred staying inside rather than running outside during recess. So I played by myself a lot. The situation got so bad that kids would refuse to play with me because they thought I had the cooties. This was obviously a way of avoiding me. It wasn't fun, believe me. I'd even just randomly run after a kid who was unfortunate enough to come near me, and I'd stop after a while and laugh to myself. I don't know how to describe my 8-9 year old self--depressed, cynical and eccentric. I got bad grades in everything, but my teacher said I was very good at creative writing. I also read a lot. So I was a loner from the 1st-5th grade.

[Indy]

In my case, living in the country side in the Netherlands in the 90's, my youth experiences were mostly positive. From primary school onward, I think I have never been picked on, but I was truly a loner. For some reason I got the respect not be messed around with and that was certainly not for being intimidating or angry, I was actually quite friendly and alright with everybody.
They just considered me different, as I didnt have any local accent, came from wealthier family, not physicaly weird or ugly and let just me be. Most of the other kids got teased, bullied around a bit, but somehow I escaped it mostly.
Middle school I had quite some friends and generally was the most 'social' time I had.
In High School, I had my friends from basketball, but I didnt get along with my classmates at all and once again, they let me be.

The key for me to not being picked on, while being a loner and different than others, was luck most of all, but I did try to be very friendly and positive to everybody, not talking trash behind people's back, and try to be considered 'ok', while maintaining my distance and independence.

I feel fortunate to have been able to carve out my own identity there. Most of the people are still stuck in that somewhat backward town in tedious jobs, still doing the same old lame things with the same old people. Thanks to support from my family and some other guys I started to open my eyes, managed to go abroad, study at a great university and build my own future. Though growing up like that makes you an outsider wherever you are, even in own hometown.

[Motor Jax]

i was never big, being short and all

but i never have been intimidated by someone else's height either

and the "bullies" usually backed off when i would start slobbering all over my knuckles and laughing hysterically, yelling "let's go... let's go!"

i always stood up for the nerdy kids in school though

[azelismia]

never bullied except for 5th grade. I was in a severe depression that year at a new school and I suspect that's WHY I was bullied. every other year I was universally popular, I was fairly quiet but I was also somewhat of the class cut up normally. I had no problem with humiliation. I never cared enough about my personal image over getting a chuckle. Plus I was always coming up with interesting things to do. Once I got older I was a hit with the boys so I never had a problem there either. My problem was that school wasn't challenging enough. Looking back at school, I've often wondered if I wasn't an entj when I was younger and just learned thru experience that people are more of a drain than a boost? I don't think so though, I think I was just taught by my mother how to be an extravert and didn't learn until much later how to construct necessary introvert walls. I never went out of my way to make friends, the other kids went out of their way to befriend me.

[demaugustus]

(This is my first post on this forum)

I was lucky enough to have two parents who were introverts and had gone through similar experiences as I did as a child. Just about every INTJ specific situation I had as a child my parents, especially my father, knew exactly how I should handle it and instructed me accordingly. My parents encouraged me to do well in my academics, in sports, and extra-curricular activities, so I experienced many "INTJ specific" situations early on.

Elementary school through early High School were the most active years I experienced bullies. As many of you, I'm gifted intellectually - however, I'm also gifted athletically. I sort of lived a double life. In school I was considered a nerd and "not in the cool group", but in sports I was a completely different animal. Bullies at school would assume, for some reason, that my aloofness or reservedness made me an easy target. They all soon found out, however, just how wrong they were when I kicked their ass. My father also prepared me for these situations to, so I had the self confidence to do what I did. For each bully he always told me to inform the instructor what was going on before any physical fight began. Oddly enough, the instructors never did anything to resolve the problem. We moved around many times to, so I always had to make a new reputation for myself, which was frustrating at times.

Once puberty went into full swing my bully problems ended. By mid through late high school I really wasn't considered a nerd anymore because I could relate to people on different levels. I could butt-heads with the jocks, talk academics with the nerds, and even get along with the total introverts (aka: loners). I even went to dances with some of the popular girls a few times, although I never really had fun or had sex with them - it was my directness as an introvert that made me come off alpha male enough to get them to go with me.

It wasn't as rosy as I make it sound though because people need to classify you as something, to simplify their reality. I found that, although I could do the many things that I wanted to do, people also feared me because I essentially did whatever I wanted to do (except when it came to romantic relationships, in which I've always been really bad at). As a result, I sometimes alienated myself because of my confidence. After high school I learned to blend in a little to get my way and even became much more solitary, but that is a different story...

[Motor Jax]

awesome tale

i like the word "loner"

that was exactly how i was, the loner that hung out by himself, but watched for any deviance from the "bullies"

i was more the rogue that stayed at the bak of the class, but everyone knew my name and who i was

[Jakalwarrior]

1-5th grade I had a pretty normal existance. Got in quite a few fights, but I also thought it was fun. I was a good bit bigger than everyone else so I rarely got hurt. I also didnt try to hurt anyone else. They thought it was fighting, I was treating it like playing ("Aww hes so cute, is he retarded?" "no hes just tall for his age").

6-8th grade. I changed school districts and somehow became relatively popular? Dunno how that happened. I was just cocky and had no problem telling people their business. Not mean, just confident and knew who I was while everyone else is having an identity cryis. As time goes on people start to become mean and find themselves by trampling others and trying to form some sort of blood thirsty social heirarchy where you get higher by crushing others down.

9th grade. Same group of people. By now the entire school turned into a bunch of blood thirsty wolves that tear each other apart at every turn. I was relatively passive by that point so I made a good target. They managed to turn me very confrontational and untrusting over the course of just one year.

10th grade. Went to a christian private school. Everyone very layed back, rarely pick on each other. I get along pretty well but am still edgy and if somone says something wrong to me im ready to fight. I dont really trust my friends not even the ones in my own group.

Along the way though I made 2 close friends and already had 2 from my neighborhood so I was good to go as far as friends.

[Fuchikoma]

In primary i wasnt picked up, in fact i was sort of defended by ALL of my class if someone ever tried to do something to me. I dont know why, though... maybe because i was visually incapable of harming anybody. The only fight i had, ironically, was with my best (or my only) friend.
In secondary i gained the title of "the psycho one" so anybody messed with me, also because i didnt reacted or responded to their stupidity.
lucky

[Mittens]

I feel kind of weird; I've never been bullied. Some kids faked shock when I got an answer wrong in class (I was 10-ish, I think), but I don't view that as especially negative. Even if they meant it like that, I thought (and probably acted) like I was better than them, so 1.) it didn't bother me and 2.) I probably deserved it.

[True Rune]

It wasn't too often, but people thought I was tough for some reason. My twin brother was picked on incessantly though, his childhood sucked. If I was picked on, it was because I was white and white people were seen as weak. I didn't let it get to me, but I did eventually drop out anyway. :/

[ssrprotege]

If I was, I was too absent-minded to notice.

Same here. I don't think I really had friends (again, at that point I guess I was too much into my own fantasy to really realize this...) who really understood me until I moved to Canada from Korea.

Well, some people were interested in me and I tried to become friends with them, but somehow they don't seem to like me after some weeks or days. I was occasionally told that I may have offended them, but couldn't understand it as it logically made no sense to me. And absent-mindedness too. I was too much into my own world to notice that people thought me as a weirdo or whatever. Thankfully, now I have three good Chinese friends who are as eccentric as I am and who try more to understand my personality and occasional fiery temper.

[Vivid]

Pfft. I was never bullied. I was just the sulky creative person who liked to sort things. I was mostly ignored.

[Reanne]

I was bullied once for being too critical way back 5th grade being the naive INTJ that i was. It was necessary to build my character..i got out strong after that.

[ChfMojoRising]

Being the "short guy" who didn't break 100lbs until 9th grade~ people tried to pick on me a lot. What they didn't know was that I was obssesive about martial arts and general fighting tactics. Also, I constantly wrestled and "play" fought with a cousin that was 2 years older than me and worked out. I'm 24 y.o. and must have had near 30 fights from junior high to the end of highschool~ haven't lost yet.

... but then I haven't fought since lol

[Grizzly]

British kid moving to a small town in Kentucky.
Apart from the accent, I also didnt goto church. Which meant that I was obviously evil.

Bullied just about every day until I started fighting back. Started going to the gym religiously and went from a 200lb fat kid who played Warhammer 40k, to a muscular and very angry paintball player.

Ripped off a kids ear and broke his comrades arm, the bullying stopped after that.
The social and verbal abuse continued until I left for college, but it rarely escalated past the verbal point since that happened.

No matter what our tendency towards quiet reflection and being ill at east in social situations means that we are always the victims of bullying at a young age.

[Jane]

I never got bullied and I never bullied anyone. I wasn't an outcast, neither was I popular. Was just stuck in the middle kinda thing, being able to mix around with anyone.

I'm still in school btw, Grade 10.

[PRBori]

Nah... people never had a chance to bully me and if they did I didn't care much... I was more focus on my science projects and investigations.. or competing in sports such as volleyball or track...

I always had the "DON'T CARE WHAT YOU THINK" or "DON'T GIVE IT SHIT" type of attitude. Besides growing up I had my own issues... I was mostly sick all the time thru my Elementary School due to blood issues, whether it was a bloody nose or the lab test I had to undergo every week for high blood cell issues I didn't have time to pay attention to idiots...

However, I did try to fit in a few times and hate it the outcome, popular kids are IDIOTS..

[DrEast]

I was never bullied, but then, I'm huge. I was ostracized a bit, but more out of my own actions than the deliberate malice of others. I had enough good friends that I never FELT left out, anyway.

[Erika Redmark]

I didn't have any good friends when I was in school, but I wasn't actively bullied. My lack of social standing was more due to being "overlooked" (never very high on anyone's list of people they wanted to hang out with) than people deliberately being unkind. Being a girl who isn't pretty is like the kiss of death in high school…people definitely cared more about that than personality, in my experience.

[JILebedev]

I never had any problems with bullies, nor did I ever witness any such activities in school. If there ever were such activities going on I must have been too off in my own world to have even noticed.

[slp7]

I moved around a lot when I was a kid too, so I was always the new kid, and I was one of the youngest in my class, hence- smallest. I had body issues in those days. I was so light skinned, I got teased for my skin being so white (not racial- we were all caucasion, I am whiiiite!). I even convinced myself that I must be lazier than everybody else, since they are tanned, so they must be outside doing stuff a lot more than me. Not true, I was outside more. They were lazier. I just had different genetics, that’s all.

Usually, when we moved somewhere new, I was one of the cool kids for about a week, and then the “I” took over. Kids would want to play sports with me (which I sucked at), or go to the pool, or do one of the many summer activities that required me wearing shorts or showing some skin. That, I would not do, and I was too embarrassed to tell them the reason I didn’t want to hang out with them. So they just gave up on me. I didn’t really have a dorky personality and didn’t fit in with the nerds (“I’m not a nerd- nerds are smart!- Milhouse), but I didn’t fit in with the popular crowd or jocks for long because of the reasons stated above.

So in high school I hung out with stoners, car guys, and guys in rock bands- the people that were not really picked on, yet not popular either. I could play guitar well, so the toughest and most popular senior in our high school (I was a sophomore) often came to my house to jam, and he would not tolerate anyone who messed with me after that. Music and alcohol/drugs offered the escapes I needed as a teen, and both got me accepted into more popular social crowds. Luckily, I grew out of the drug thing, and pursued music as a legit classical musician and got my degree in it. So some good came of my teen experiences. And I do not have body issues whatsoever now- I work out and look better than those pricks 20 years later so f*ck them.

[darkkodiak]

Just want to add first that my family did move frequently. Fortunately I was one of the cool people during elementary and middle school due to me being very active in sports(I was voted as most athletic person for the yearbook :thumbsup:). In high school I was just the smart guy and not the nerd. I was all over the place so I didn't have any qualms with anyone and most of my athlete buddies from middle school had the utmost respect for me so no one really tried to mess with me. Also, many of the most popular girls in the school actually hung out with me(mind you we actually hung out and it wasn't for school related purposes lol). I also had my own niche where if there was a ton of people around me it didn't feel like I was being suffocated. I guess I am one of the lucky peeps out there.

[Merendino]

I was usually bored in middle school so i would act up and make the class laugh. Dry humor combined with being smarter than the bullies probably saved me more than i know.

Truth.

As with some people here, I think school in general bullies everyone at some point. Possibly I's get it more than others but really, who DOESNT get bullied at some point in their school life?

[punkyplatypus]

When I was in the fourth grade I was bullied by older kid's parents at the bus stop.
The day before on the way home, he was picking on me. During the verbal assault on each other, I told him that he has sex with his mom. He shut up. At least until he got home. It turns out I hit a nerve. The next morning him and his parents were at the bus stop. My parents had already gone to work. His parents then started yelling obscenities at me using their positions as adults to terrify me. The mother got in my personal space so I retaliated by talking back and telling her to shut up. She then pushed me on the ground. When I tried getting up, she'd push me back down, all the while saying things to lower my morale. I got up quickly and ran a couple yards from her. She then ordered her son to beat me up. He charged and I kicked him in the crotch. He fell. Then one of the other kids mom showed up and the moms fought in the street. The cops got involved. After that year, we moved and I went to a different school.

[Merendino]

When I was in the fourth grade I was bullied by older kid's parents at the bus stop.
The day before on the way home, he was picking on me. During the verbal assault on each other, I told him that he has sex with his mom. He shut up. At least until he got home. It turns out I hit a nerve. The next morning him and his parents were at the bus stop. My parents had already gone to work. His parents then started yelling obscenities at me using their positions as adults to terrify me. The mother got in my personal space so I retaliated by talking back and telling her to shut up. She then pushed me on the ground. When I tried getting up, she'd push me back down, all the while saying things to lower my morale. I got up quickly and ran a couple yards from her. She then ordered her son to beat me up. He charged and I kicked him in the crotch. He fell. Then one of the other kids mom showed up and the moms fought in the street. The cops got involved. After that year, we moved and I went to a different school.

Holy f***... :stunned:

*edited to not swear so loudly.*

[punkyplatypus]

Holy f***... :stunned:

*edited to not swear so loudly.*

The parents actually bullied a different kid that same morning. She ran home after the kid's mom pushed her down, and it was her mom that fought in the street. They lived in houses back-to-back from each other. A couple weeks later after everything was settled legally, my friend's family found someone poured motor oil into their pool, but couldn't prove anything thus couldn't press charges. That kid's family was certainly a screwy one.

It was a pretty intense change in my life. At the time I was going to a predominently lower class, black school. When we moved, I was put into a predominently upper class, white school.

I wasn't really bullied other than that. Most people either left me alone or got along with me. If someone seemed to be bully-like I avoided them or was overlooked. I'm not sure if any of that influenced my INTJ personality though; I remember having INTJ tendencies before any of that happened.

[selimut]

As the small, new kid in which ever school I was in at the time ( moved around because my dad) I was picked on because I didn't fit in. Not that I wanted to even back then but I was curious about how many other INTJ's have had the same experience?

my family had to moved a lot too due to my dad's job. but i can't say i was ever bullied. by the way, i don't really get this whole bullying thing. is it suppose to be fun? what's the objective? anyone?

[Uberfuhrer]

I was bullied and taken advantage of. I was also reputable for being seen as "crazy" and "in need of psychological help."

[Lucan]

my family had to moved a lot too due to my dad's job. but i can't say i was ever bullied. by the way, i don't really get this whole bullying thing. is it suppose to be fun? what's the objective? anyone?

I certainly wouldn't consider it fun, especially being on the receiving side. Having my father's irish temper helped as I did learn to stand up for myself. This thread seems to be a combination of Nature and Nurture. A fair amount of people that have posted on this topic seem to have INTJ tendencies before bullying occurred.

[Grizzly]

It seems our personality type is destined for a certain amount of social abuse. Primarily because of our tendency towards social faux pas, and difficulty in holding our own in social situations.

On the positive side, we develop thick skins and in some cases the necessary abilities to visit the same physical abuse upon its purveyors.

[catd]

Yes, early on, 1st and 2nd grade. I remember my father carrying me, kicking and screaming, onto the school bus. I didn't want to go to school because they picked on me so much.

[Monte314]

I didn't have this problem until I reached 7th grade. As the new kid from a lower-income family coming into an upscale middle school, I was an easy and immediate target. The thugs were well-organized, and actually pretty dangerous. After school on my first day of class, they dragged me out behind the building and made me recite their rules as they held a knife to my throat.

I put up with the terror for a year, then we moved away.

[Sleeper]

Quite abit when I was younger, I was always the social outcast since I was probably a strong INTJ at that age.

I was always the social outcast, preferring to being alone and working out questions about everything within my own mind, I remember I asked someone not to disturb me when I was pacing around so I guess I was just an open target.

However, as I grew older, physical abuse became a problem which on some occasion I snapped and threw a kid bigger than me to the wall with little to no effort ( here a yeah for martial arts training ^^)

Kinda stopped than on since ppl grew afraid of me, still a social outcast though.

Now I am much much older, I learnt how to laugh with ppl and make light of things. Plus, I know how to make ppl stop verbal abuse with the infamous INTJ glare.

Oh, good point though, most bullies nv stay around when I need to punch the light out of them and express it verbally. Realized most of them are pathetic to begin with.

[volk]

I got bullied in primary school, though when people grow up they either gain respect for other people or move from physical to more subtle forms of bullying. As long as I don't get physically hurt, I don't care about it.

I also suspect that many attempts of bullying towards me go completely unnoticed by myself. My ex gf's step mom was a good example of quiet bullying. If my gf hasn't pointed out that her step mom was in fact showing her anger in very strange subtle ways, I would never have noticed it. From my point of view she was actually quite friendly. Me and my gf used to laugh at how pissed her step mom was about me not bothering about her "bullying". When I was not around she would frown about how weird she though I was :P

[lambpox]

I was bullied from 1st grade to I think 5th; I was pretty chubby, full of baby fat. I also had this anxiety problem, afraid that my mother would never pick me up from school when the day was over. I constantly threw up and cried due to this. To try to fit in, I decided to hang out with the "popular" people, and from there I realized how fucked the general school population was. I became a vegetarian, lost a sick amount of weight due to this and my discovery of the internet, found real friends, etc. People then realized that I actually had a pretty dark sense of humor, and I could engage in some social activity without puking on their book bags.

I'm in grade 10 now, and people in my school view me as that crazy, little, vegan, persian girl "that draw good", gets good grades, and likes painting animal skulls on wooden boards. Some enjoy my oddball sense of humor, and some just "don't get it". :cheesy:

[volk]

The more I hang out here the more I realize how much in common I have with other INTJs :D

lambpox, I was also always afraid that my grandma wouldn't pick me up at school when I was little (well, till about 5th grade). I also cried when I was left home alone. I too tried hanging out with the "popular" people, which usually just got me in trouble. I too am pretty good at drawing, and I also was drawing sculls on art lessons :P...

[lambpox]

Hanging out with the popular people made me even more of a recluse. They were too snotty and I learned to look down on them even more. They were obsessed with tiny problems and relationships. I remember I excited them at the lunch table eating an entire bag of hot fries everyday. It was fun but oh so fake. That's why I'm a good actor, haha.

Oh, yay for drawing and animal skulls! I find a beauty in them that no one else sees.

[searcher]

*puts hand up*
Despite being the oldest in my class, I was by far the smallest. I read a lot, had an "odd" view on things, was good at most stuff without having to try and wore glasses.
So yeah, I got bullied.

I had a temper even then and that didn't help. Couple of fights here, a scrap on the other side of the field ending in a bleeding nose or similar injuries - all in a days work.
Mind you - I fought pretty dirty back then. Since taking jujitsu my technique has been refined to only what force is necessary. I couldn't tell then.

[QuickSilver]

No, the kind of people I'm talking about aren't just stoners. They're a coctail of a domestically bad situation, stupidity, violence, jealousy and drugs. We have quite a lot of those here in Denmark; mostly immigrants from the Middle-East.

Well I'm not sure that harassment/misery of smart&nerdy people has any connection to the kinds of imported specimens of human perfection of which you speak. Take Japan for example:

Japan is:

- Industrialized

- Supposedly full of "real smart people" < To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. >

- Low/No immigrants, additives and other artificial flavors,

Still, despite this, they're sporting the 9th highest suicide rate in the world (so I think life's probably no picnic)...

[TheEnlightenedOne]

I was definitely made fun of and ostracized when I was younger. Mostly because I just didn't "fit in" with everyone else. I didn't have the same interests, and I tended to be much more mature than other kids in my grade and age group.

Also, because I didn't really know how to retaliate (I tried - it was usually a rather unsuccessful endeavor), it ended up adding to the problem.

I don't know if it's a commonly accepted fact or not, but I think that especially in the elementary school years, fitting in is incredibly important. You're still developing and learning about how the world and society works, and group dynamics. Individual expression doesn't come until later.

Some may argue that some people spend all of their primary and secondary education years trying to fit in, but I think the tendency usually decreases with age, as you learn to become more comfortable with yourself and your individuality.

[sm80403]

Oh yes. . . our neighborhood--rural Pacific northwest--was full of families with a lot of boys that like to pick on girls. But I fixed most of that one day; I was in the 4th grade and very short and skinny (like around 55 - 60 lbs.). One of the neighbor boys was in 6th grade and had been held back and was (to me) a huge bullying monster--easily twice as big as me plus. On the bus ride home he like to torment me.

One day he kept conking me on the head with one or two of his text books, which hurt. . .but I had my metal lunch box. . .and at my stop where we got off (he got off there also) I stood up, turned around (as he was right behind me) and smacked him as hard as I could over the head with it. . .I then proceeded to walk off of the bus as if nothing happened and went home. . .he needed stitches.

His mother called my mother to make sure that I was told not to pick on "her Kenny" any more. I never had a problem with that kind of bullying again. My parents (knowing Kenny quite well) had a laugh over that one, as did the entire elementary school and staff. . .

Violence as the answer to anything is not my thing at all, but in this case I think I was justified and it sure solved the bullying problem. I really was a very skinny shrimp and eventually I knew that he really was going to hurt me. I remember that I was not particularly excited that I played David to his Goliath, but was just relieved that it was obvious that he was going to leave me alone in the future--and he never did bother me again. Plus it gave the other neighborhood bullies something to think about. . .I was also a fair aim with a rock when they pelted my sister and I as well. . .

Problem solved (a few million to go ;-) )

[ThaiGreenTea]

Nope. Was never picked on. People always respected me, and if anyone did begin the "picking on sequence", one of my friends would always tell him to stop and shove them.

Simple as that.

[LionsPride]

I was never bullied and before I moved in grade 4, I was always one of the most popular in my class. It took me a few years to fit in at my new school (no bullying, just social confusion), but as soon as I got the hang of it I hit the the awkward years, my confidence suffered and then I felt really alone and stressed. As soon as my confidence returned age 16-17 I was untouchable again. I could wear whatever I wanted, do whatever I wanted, no one questioned it. I used Friday the 13th as an excuse to go to school dressed as a leopard (face paint and ears). No one batted an eye.

[Lostcomm]

Who wasn't bullied at some point?

[Lucan]

Who wasn't bullied at some point?

Quite a few people that I've met actually. Most of the people that were not picked on are ESFP or something similar to that.

[QuickSilver]

In a way that's comforting to know, that I'm not alone. Boy, do I ever bring out Management's insecurities! They complain about poor results, I provide a way to achieve more and they hate me for it. I used to think it was because I'm a woman, but maybe there's something else in my make-up that attracts this reaction. I'd like to find a way to still create order out of chaos AND keep people on my side at the same time. And I am always very nice and tactful, it's not like I'm rude or overbearing in case you're wondering. I just see what needs to be done and how to accomplish it successfully very clearly where others never do seem to grasp it much of the time.

Kinda lonely out here at times.

QuickSilver casts "Teach INTJ to Communicate with Manager":

To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

[INTJ attempts to accept benefit by reading and making "study" roll of d20 against a difficulty of 10] <-- Don't forget to count your INTJ "nerding" bonus, it's good for a +8 on "study" rolls...

[Valentyne]

I was never picked on, either nobody really noticed me or I didn't notice. Seriously though, I think I was too caustic for people to try picking on me. I am often very sarcastic and according to my friends I am very condescending, I have no idea how, so if I am demeaning to people I love, what do I do to people I don't appreciate?

[phantasma]

I was hardly ever picked on. I didn't really care what people thought, and I guess I exuded enough self confidence for people to know to move on to a weaker victim.

[AutisticCuckoo]

Yeah, I was bullied a lot.

My family moved into town the day before I started first grade, which meant I didn't know anybody. I was very skinny back then, physically unattractive due to buck teeth, and had an above-average IQ. I could already read (I used to read stories to the other children in kindergarten). As the saying goes, it's the tallest tree that is chopped down first.

Most of the bullying was psychological; there were threats of violence but I was never really beaten up. I must have had a lot of inner strenght, because I never quite broke down – although I now realise how much damage it did to my self-esteem (still not recovered) and my self-confidence (well restored).

Many years later my daughter told me she was being bullied by a gang of older girls. I put a stop to that very quickly. Two of the girls even came to her house and apologized (she didn't live with me).

Now I'm 6'3" and fairly well built, albeit not bulky. People tend not to antagonize me these days. :)

[bricklayer]

I was all the time. People thought something was wrong with me because I didn't talk. They thought I was sad or depressed, bu I know for a fact I was happier and more content than the rest of them. I was wiser than the other kids, who were struggling to find out who they were while I had the chance to get to know myself very well. I love being an intovert.

[Socrates]

I was the bully growing up...

I didn't hurt people but I've always been pretty ignorant of people's emotions, so I tend to trample them a bit.

I went to an all-white catholic school. (and still want to burn it down) so there weren't exactly that many tough kids. It was really easy. Not proud of it. Sorry to any INTJ's out there I might have bullied...my bad.

[JoeyDude]

Hmm, I'd have to say I was a moral bully if there is such a term. I had fun picking on people during recess and class and it was all in a joking manner. I never wanted them to feel humiliation or pain and if someone treated me like the way I treated them I'd just laugh it off.

For example, there was this girl who wasn't too strong in math and sometimes when she worked on her homework she would literally count out loud like "ok, 5 times 5 is 5 plus 5 equals 10 plus another 5 is 15 and so on..." So I would randomly interrupt her by blurting out numbers and she'd lose her train of thought and had to start all over again. he he!

Another favorite trick I liked to play was put an object on their head or shoulder when they're not looking. I especially liked putting stuff on them just before they have to do a presentation in front of the class. They looked like total fools doing presentations with a scissor on their shoulder. ha ha!

[Seppuku Savant]

Kids will pick on kids for any little thing. I'm sure it's safe to say the majority has had something scrutinized at some point, even if it was never made known to them.

[JessicaHavenLea]

Not routinely. There were isolated incidents that occured. With some bonehead stepping on my foot (intentional), punching me (intentional), knocking my books on the floor (intentional). Oh well, glad that stage of life is over.

[Danisty]

I was never physically bullied, but I was picked on all the way up until high school. I didn't fit in at all. I was born in Savannah, but my parents were from Chicago and Greenbay and since my mom stayed at home, I never went to daycare or anything. I might as well have been a yankee because I had never really been exposed to the local culture. This actually was a really big issue in elementary school.

I would say middle school was the worst, even though I started making friends in middle school. Some of the friends I made weren't really friends and they'd turn on me and I never understood it because I didn't understand the mind games they were playing and I really had no desire to understand them or play along with them. It never helped that the school counselors were only interested in making us "all get along."

High school was better because I met a lot more people. I made friends with the other rejects. Also, in high school, people that didn't know me were kind of afraid of me and it really worked to my advantage. I was the first person at my school to dress goth and since we were in a really small town in Georgia, everyone assumed I was a Satanist (which was actually true even though I had never told anyone, so it was kind of funny). They really believed that messing with me would be dangerous. That helped a lot with the other students, but caused a lot of problems with the administration. Honestly, at that point, I didn't really care anymore though.

[Seppuku Savant]

High school was better because I met a lot more people. I made friends with the other rejects. Also, in high school, people that didn't know me were kind of afraid of me and it really worked to my advantage. I was the first person at my school to dress goth and since we were in a really small town in Georgia, everyone assumed I was a Satanist (which was actually true even though I had never told anyone, so it was kind of funny). They really believed that messing with me would be dangerous. That helped a lot with the other students, but caused a lot of problems with the administration. Honestly, at that point, I didn't really care anymore though.

Yay for rejects! Goth girls are hot.

[PreyingMantis]

I was teased a lot at school by some kids, especially at high school.

Now i'm a maverick, outspoken, against-the-grain, in-your-face adult, however, i get bullied a whole lot more - not usually by my peers, but by "people in the street" types that i meet outside work, and sometimes by those who have power over me at work. Basically, the more they pick on me, the more i see through their limited psychology, and the less i want to fit in. The older you get, the more you can figure out how to find people whose opinions are WORTH considering - that's more valuable than security or fitting in.

[Mong]

I was picked on a little bit, but probably only because I was the quiet one who people wanted a reaction out of.

[Evil Eye]

I was picked on a little bit, but probably only because I was the quiet one who people wanted a reaction out of.

Same here- although I didn't really notice much at the time. I guess they didn't get their reaction.

[Lucid]

High school was better because I met a lot more people. I made friends with the other rejects. Also, in high school, people that didn't know me were kind of afraid of me and it really worked to my advantage. I was the first person at my school to dress goth and since we were in a really small town in Georgia, everyone assumed I was a Satanist (which was actually true even though I had never told anyone, so it was kind of funny). They really believed that messing with me would be dangerous. That helped a lot with the other students, but caused a lot of problems with the administration. Honestly, at that point, I didn't really care anymore though.

I also got picked on some in middle school and maybe the first year of high school for being a goth chick (back in 1994 when it was less common). And I had the same amusing experience of people thinking I was satanic. What's funny was that when people were afraid of me for it (junior high) was before I got into LeVay. By my sophmore year in high school I had transferred to a smaller alternative school, which was full of other kids like me and was never really picked on again.

I think it had more to do with my dressing differently than others than with being an INTJ. Although being an INTJ may have contributed to my tendency to be different.

[Nanashi]

I can remember one boy commenting derogatorily that I matched my socks to my mauve shirt? I was like...is this an insult? There was quiet as my friend-classmates acted as if it had been one. Pretty crappy attempt.

[lollardy2000]

Totally!!! I was a small non-masculine male who had been briefly home schooled, was good at math, bad at sports, kinda weird, teacher's pet, enjoyed being at school, didn't mind hanging out with girls, horrible clothes my mom picked out, a slight lisp, collected bugs, ate double-decker PB&J/cheese+mustard sandwiches, mom sent soap in my lunchbox, etc - all in a very blue-collar neighborhood. Yep, I had every single ingredient for getting bullied. In other words, my ass woulda been beat if it had been worth beating. By junior high, when I was realized I wasn't going to fit in because other people wouldn't let me (I wanted to), I became more introverted, alienated, acted out, hung out with "bad" kids. The final straw? 6th grade band: I "asked out" a girl, somewhat popular, who was kinda friend, and nice to me... she said, in a completely polite, un-self-conscious, genuine way "I'll go out with you if you cut your hair, lose the braces, and get new clothes." I flipped (later, in my head, of course) - from then on, it was hate and war against the Normals and their parents. There were a couple of minor beatings and teeth knocked out. I always stuck out like a sore thumb. Luckily I ended up in a statewide math+science magnet school in high school (and developed wicked wit and sarcasm that were quite effective in hurting feelings and making fools of people)!

[iknow318]

taken for granted but never bullied.

[burazekun]

I used to be bullied when I was in the 2nd grade. I constantly got in fights but after some time people thought I had super strength. Dont ask me why. I had vimpire and ghost as my nick names and people where always intimidated by me.

Thing was, only a few people knew I was a pretty soft person as long as you didn't try to physically fight me. We would laugh at the accusations people made about me.

People I never met though are intimidated by me. The ones with enough courage always say it's my eyes. Some said, "You dont look at me, it's more like you look through me. I feel insignificant when you look at me."

[Lupin]

People I never met though are intimidated by me. The ones with enough courage always say it's my eyes. Some said, "You dont look at me, it's more like you look through me. I feel insignificant when you look at me."

This is the thing that gets people the most. It's all in the eyes. Piercing eyes and a disdainful regard can literally stop people in their tracks and when people are scared they tend to fight or at least show signs of potential attack in order to defend.

It's an important point you are making.

[deuteros]

I was picked on a lot in elementary school. I'm not sure I noticed it until later though. My parents told me I was socially awkward (I would want to talk about weird stuff that I had thought of that had nothing to do with the conversation at hand). My parents actually took me to some place to get tested (not really sure what kind of test).

I'm not really like that anymore though.

I think I was diagnosed with ADD but my parents refused to put me on medication. I remember my teachers would tell my parents that I was extremely intelligent but I never really put forth much of an effort in school. I was always bored.

[2timepad]

(First post in this site, btw)

I was rarely bullied physically but there were a lot of taunts back in middle school/early high school years. I was never good that verbal fights so that didn't help.

Seems like a lot of people are bullied here... which makes me wonder. What makes us INTJs attractive targets? And is our personality (specifically, our INTJness) a cause or a result of these experiences? I think it could be argued that we turn into generally smart introverts as a result of not fitting in socially.

[Dzepxich]

No one bullied me. I was always the one INTJ in the entire school that was able to scare everyone off. If they tried to bully me, I would simply tell them that they would wake up on a burning crucifix. Worked very well. Then there were the idiots that weren't trying to bully me, but were so stupid, they were worse than those that intentionally (albeit only once or twice before they learned their lesson) bullied me. For those I would come up with devilishly subtle or complex ways to agonizingly kill them, and then divulge the plans to the school at large. Horrified some people.

LOL, that's similar to the way I handled the situation. In the 8th grade, a jock started to bully me, & I told him that if he kept it up, I would sneak up behind him & bash his head in with a baseball bat. He said "That's not fair.", I laughed (in a very evil way). He left me alone after that.

Basically, I let them know that I was smarter than them, & would come up with a way to hurt them that they couldn't stop.

My nickname in high school was "Evil".

[kizuki]

Instead of being bullied, I was either feared or ignored. That kind of ruined the possibility that I'll be able to make an actual friend. Haha, upperclassmen nicknamed me "Black Cat".

[acyckowski]

(First post in this site, btw)
Seems like a lot of people are bullied here... which makes me wonder. What makes us INTJs attractive targets? And is our personality (specifically, our INTJness) a cause or a result of these experiences? I think it could be argued that we turn into generally smart introverts as a result of not fitting in socially.

Cause. Unable to perceive social cues+extraordinary self-assuredness+don't care what anybody else thinks=People don't like you.

I used to be bullied when I was in the 2nd grade. I constantly got in fights but after some time people thought I had super strength. Dont ask me why. I had vimpire and ghost as my nick names and people where always intimidated by me.

Thing was, only a few people knew I was a pretty soft person as long as you didn't try to physically fight me. We would laugh at the accusations people made about me.

People I never met though are intimidated by me. The ones with enough courage always say it's my eyes. Some said, "You dont look at me, it's more like you look through me. I feel insignificant when you look at me."

It's called "having heart." In a fight, most people give up well before they lose consciousness or otherwise become physically unable to continue....if you have the intestinal fortitude to keep going, especially in the face of an obvious mismatch, you will appear to be something more than human. Having proved yourself multiple times, your gaze is harder than it would be otherwise. Consider the path of the sheepdog, you certainly seem to have the instinct.

[Akkarin323]

.....
Ok.
Well...my response about "heart" was just made redundant. You got there first.
burazekun, what you said about the eyes is true.

I was bullied a lot, but not really very traditionally. Never seemed it to me, anyway. First boy who tried, when we were 6-ish, I jumped on and tried to throttle (with all the strength of a scrawny 6 year old). In hindsight I grew to hate the way the teachers and parents reacted. I was made to stand alone in the lunch hall for the rest of the day (I justified my actions by saying "he annoyed me"...) and grounded for the rest of the month. That served to curb my violence a lot. I got picked on verbally pretty much from then on. Being a year ahead of myself made me smaller than most people in my year. There was one final time, when I was 11-ish, where I punched another boy in the face. The threats from the deputy-headmaster (removing my scholarship, detentions on my record etc etc) scared the younger me ****less. Finally after puberty (Track and the gym helping) had caught me up and done its job, and I'd done a lot of soul searching, I turned 15 and was never picked on seriously again. It was all in the eyes and the attitude and the certainty. The eyes you already described exactly as I've heard mine described (although I've been told mine look rather nice too...anyway). The attitude comes, in a way, from the certainty that if someone lays a finger on me with the intent to harm me I will leave them looking up at a hundred faces spinning in the sky, all of them mine. The last time anyone tried to bully me was when a senior in highschool told me he was going to bust my nose all over my face (he was a good 8 inches taller than me, me being 16 at the time). I just laughed in his face and dared him to.

[PHS Philip]

I was bullied a lot in elementary school, or at least the first half of it. I don't think it was my being an INTJ, because from what I remember, I was about 50/50 INTJ/INFP. It was just being a fairly extreme IN, and being smart.

I've lost some of it now, but back then, I was fascinated by absolutely everything. In kindergarten, I spent hours researching cheetahs and peregrine falcons because they were interesting to me. I loved physics already, even that early. And I loved to talk about . A 'normal' 6 or 7 year old has no idea what that stuff is, much less is interested in it. That was the sort of thing I found interesting, but who my age would talk about it? We were supposed to be learning the alphabet, and addition.

It wasn't bad in kindergarten, because the teacher was really wonderful. She had been teaching for 35 or 40 years, but she wasn't one of the old teachers who are always annoyed. She loved teaching, and did a wonderful job. I think that spared me a lot in kindergarten.

In first grade, I discovered books. I fell in love with them. Hundreds of pages of things to read? It was amazing, for me. Up to then, I'd been limited to stuff I found on web pages about animals. Now I could find a whole world right there in my hands. Again, how many 1st graders read novels? One more difference, which amounts to one more nail in the coffin of your hopes of fitting in. I also kept learning more and more about things outside of school. More knowledge, more reflection, more weirdness. In 1st grade I had started to develop my own (basic, but I was 7...) philosophies. In kindergarten and 1st grade I had already decided I didn't understand why there would be a god, so I decided to be an atheist. How many 7 year olds are thinking about whether to believe in god?

And this time I didn't have a good teacher to help. I had an awful, awful, awful teacher. This man had it in for the "weird" kids. He pretty much picked on me during class. He wouldn't let me do anything above level, because I "wasn't supposed to." He treated me like shit, and some of the other kids (who were among the worst, or at least were later on in elementary school) like they were saints. And lest you think I'm just biased because I didn't like him, other kids' parents complained about him too. For instance, there was a mildly autistic kid in my class. His parents were furious with this teacher, again, because he went after any kids he didn't like, and the kids he didn't like were the kids who didn't fit in.

1st grade I was picked on a lot by a group of kids a grade above me. Pretty much relentlessly. I would react, then, thanks to my teacher, I was instantly assumed guilty. I was in the principal's office a lot. I think it was 1st grade I tried to "attack them" (yeah, a 7 year old who's small for his age against 4 or 5 8 year olds. That'd work...), which really means I finally tried to hit one of them after being picked on for most of the year. That wasn't a fun year.

2nd grade, my mom finally let me have really long books (I don't think she ever really believed that I was at the level I was, so she wouldn't let me rocket ahead like I could and wanted to). I read Lord of the Rings for the first time that year, I think (later, when I was starved for books, I read it 5 more. I was that bored). Not much happened in the way of growing intellectually 2nd grade. I don't remember much of it really. It wasn't good, but it was less miserable than 1st grade.

The teacher wasn't great, but she wasn't bad, either. She liked teaching, and she did her best, but I don't think she was really suited to teaching. She didn't really know how to deal with kids outside the norm. As I said, she did her best, I think, but... (I remember more from when I had her in 4th grade)

As for bullying, that year, it was kids in my grade. Not as bad, since the school was divided into two haves. k-2 were "lower-L" and 3-5 were "upper-L." The two didn't really mix. Different lunch times, for the most part, and separate playground. There were a few nasty kids in my grade, but I didn't get anything on par with the stuff in 1st grade.

A few more principal visits, though, and I think that was the year my mom put me in this stupid "group therapy" thing for kids with anger problems. She also got me IQ tested, and then ignored the results (I shit you not, I scored above the level the test measured at for the verbal half of the test, and to this day she has never tried to get me into any gifted program). The stupid "therapy" crap just bored me, because the other kids there mostly had real problems. My problem, as far as I can tell, was just being a really sensitive kid who was bullied a lot, on top of being bored to death.

3rd grade I really don't remember anything from. Considering the last 2 years, that's good. I had a good teacher, and this time I was in a class without any of the kids who I had had problems with. Recess was occasionally a problem, but the group in the grade above had mostly forgotten about me, and I started to learn to fake being normal, plus shutting down my F side a lot, so I could control myself a little better. Only one or two principal visits that year, I think, which is good. I did more reading, but I was fairly starved for books at this point. I read LOTR twice that year, I think, and a 50 page biography of Pele in the school library about 15 times. May whatever deity they believe in bless whoever put that in the school library.

4th grade, I had my 2nd grade teacher again. She wasn't bad, but like I said, not great. I wasn't bullied too much that year. I did, however, have a few issues with the teacher. She wouldn't let me work. I wanted to do a writing project on the Golden Compass. She said I couldn't, because it was too hard. I read the book, and explained it to her. She said I didn't really understand it, and was just repeating stuff. *sigh* I'm sure she meant well, but...There were a few different things like that. I was a few years ahead in math throughout elementary school, too, but reading and writing have always been my strength. Only 1 principal visit that year, I think.

5th grade, I had a few kids in my class who I'd probably have been better off without, but I had a really fantastic teacher. He couldn't do much for me in terms of letting me learn ahead because it was the last year of elementary school, so he didn't have any materials from future years for me, but he did what he could. I wasn't really bullied that year (happy, happy year compared to the rest). I also had some really nice kids in my class, which also helped (sadly, they were girls, and in 5th grade there was still a firmly held belief that girls had cooties. But still, it did make a difference, I think.) I was still reading way ahead of grade level, but I think that from 3rd grade on I started to slow down due to mental starvation. I exhausted what resources I had for learning subjects, and so I was stuck. One or two principal visits.

3rd grade to 5th grade I had a "friend" I did a ton of stuff with, and who I considered to be a best friend, but now that I think about it, he was just someone I did a bunch of stuff with. Maybe earlier on we were actually friends, but by 5th grade we weren't, because he became more and more obnoxious, and even though I never noticed it consciously, I think I realized that we weren't really friends. (On a side note, the few times I've talked to people in Michigan since I moved, my impression's been confirmed. He kept getting more and more obnoxious after I moved).

6th grade, we moved from Michigan to New Jersey. It wasn't a big deal for me, since I didn't really have any good friends, if I'm honest with myself. I never really had problems that year. I had 3 amazing, amazing, wonderful teachers. Through stupidity on the part of the district, I didn't get put in the middle school's accell math program, and of course my mom never bothered to try to get them to switch me. I wasn't really bullied that year. I just blended in. Not much to say about it. Pretty uneventful, which is great compared to some of the bad years.

7th grade, bullying started again. I could pretty much control myself at this point, plus I had buried my F in some deep, dark pit, somewhere in some forgotten cave at the back of my mind, so it mostly didn't bother me. Mostly. Sometimes it got to me, because being bullied sucks, but I hid it. I had one "friend" (RE: person I did stuff with, but like in Michigan, I don't think he really qualifies as a close friend). My teachers that year were OK. Not good, not bad, for the most part. I got my only detention of middle school from my French teacher for "not sitting respectfully" :huh:

8th grade, I pretty much blended into the background. I perfected my mask, made some "friends." I had one evil teacher who picked on the smartest kid in each of her classes (guess who got to spend history class being alternately argued with and screamed at by an evil witch?). The French teacher was really good, the rest were OK. I tended to figure the week long units in math out in the first 10 minutes of the unit (public school math: give them 10 minutes of concepts, and 4 hours of work tangentially related to them), so I sat at the back of class and read a fair number of the days until the teacher caught on. I did the same thing in science (believe me, if I'm not paying attention in that subject, there's something wrong. That's one place I haven't lost much of the curiosity I had when I was 5. ANY science will keep me paying attention) and English (we read the most pathetic sequence of books ever devised for a school curriculum, so I picked a different curriculum). There was a bit of bullying, but it only really bothered me once.

Then there was one time where I (accidentally) provoked another kid to the point where he tried to punch me. I was mad at him, but I didn't think what I'd said would get to him so much, or I wouldn't have said it. That was my only principal visit during middle school, although I went to the nurse's office a total of 15 times in 7th grade, trying to get out of class. *sigh* I'm really not the type of kid who does that. I had just reached the point where it was get out of class or go insane, I was so bored.

9th grade (which just ended) wasn't bad, just mind numbingly dull. No one really bullies me anymore, I just blend in. I had an awesome Latin teacher (as long as I knew the stuff, he let me listen to my iPod and read during class), a good Bio teacher (he didn't teach us Bio, which is bad, but he taught us general science, which is very very good. I'd much rather understand better the workings of science and have to do a bit of independent catch up than know the facts of biology but not the scientific process), a horrible math teacher (she copied theorems out of the book, and read answers to homework. Oh, and graded tests), a bad french teacher (he didn't teach anything), a really good band teacher (my most enjoyable class all year).

But I had an AMAZING English teacher. Again, he could only do so much, because the curriculum is set by "the powers that be," but he tailored a lot of stuff to the top quarter of the class. That's not as much as I need, but more than I've gotten from anyone else, so it was great by comparison. Plus, he's a really cool, really smart guy, so I ended up spending a lot of lunch periods talking to him about stuff (everything from politics to critical thinking to education. Just stuff, really).

So yeah, school's pretty much sucked for me. Oh well.


Sorry about the really long post, and sort of disordered thoughts. I just sort of followed my train of memory, which occasionally jumped backward or forward, and it felt good to write about this stuff. Also, sorry if I come across as arrogant at any point, or exaggerating. I did the best I could. I'm only human, so my memory's fallible and biased, but I did what I could to try to correct it. It's about as accurate as I can make it.

[ssrprotege]

Even though I wasn't uber-mature like PHSphilip, I could empathize with difficulties he had, because kinda similar things happened to me. Writing all out will be agonizing, so I will spare myself from it.

[PHS Philip]

Even though I wasn't uber-mature like PHSphilip, I could empathize with difficulties he had, because kinda similar things happened to me. Writing all out will be agonizing, so I will spare myself from it.

Believe me, I wasn't mature at the time. The main reason it stopped bothering me was that I basically killed my Fi. For a good part of my life, I was pure, 100% Ti and Te, with almost no F. It wasn't maturity.

Like I said, that's probably why I ended up INTJ, considering that after I stopped suppressing it, my Fi was very strong. If T hadn't been so dominant, I think I might well have been an INFP.



I kinda can't believe I actually posted that :stunned: That's pretty much my life story...So much for being reserved, heh.

[Tokey41]

I think it was probably the worst in elementary school, but I blame that on kids simply being cruel. I went to a very small school back then however, so everyone knew everyone and I think overall the teasing was kind of spread out and forgotten within a few days anyway.

Junior high was also pretty brutal, particularly grade 8 was probably the worst for me... but most people understood I was just quiet and left me alone. Some E's just didn't get it and pushed until they finally snapped and started teasing me because of my I qualities though.

Going into highschool it wasn't so much being bullied as simply being ignored. They understood I was 'shy' and allowed me my space which is about all I could ask for I guess.

Now in post secondary education some people still ignore me (I think just naturally, not even sure how they can tell but they can). I have my group of friends and i'm content with them.

I guess i've been pretty lucky in comparison to some people on here.