Were you able to achieve your dreams?

[Jgib5328]

This is for the older INTJs I guess, but younger INTJs can talk about smaller goals that they achieved. I just want to know if you were able to reach those dreams you had when you were younger. I am young right now and have big dreams for the future, but as I get older, it seems that I won't reach them. I sometimes fully believe in myself, but other times my confidence falters and I start to wonder. I think failure is the worst thing that could happen to me, and I fear that it'll destroy me if it ever comes.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

There are MUCH worse things than failure although you will probably not believe that for a long time to come. I achieved every goal I set in front of myself. I almost never failed and when I did it was a small failure......I never had to give up a dream. Does this make me happy, content, fullfilled? No.

I would urge you to examine yourself closely. Think about what is really important to you. Do not do things to prove you can, but rather because it makes you feel happy and fullfilled. Learn to love yourself and don't place too much emphasis on attaining goals or aquiring things. Do the things that make you feel alive and worthwhile, but try to remember that you are worthwhile just because you exist.

Now go grasshopper.............and conquer the world........

[schmidt]

Although I'm still young I'll chip my 5 cents. There will always be time, a common trait tends to be stress. If we just slow down we will realise that we have accomplished a lot and still have time to accomplish what we want. Patience :)

[Jgib5328]

There are MUCH worse things than failure although you will probably not believe that for a long time to come. I achieved every goal I set in front of myself. I almost never failed and when I did it was a small failure......I never had to give up a dream. Does this make me happy, content, fullfilled? No.

I would urge you to examine yourself closely. Think about what is really important to you. Do not do things to prove you can, but rather because it makes you feel happy and fullfilled. Learn to love yourself and don't place too much emphasis on attaining goals or aquiring things. Do the things that make you feel alive and worthwhile, but try to remember that you are worthwhile just because you exist.

Now go grasshopper.............and conquer the world........

I mean you can say that now that you've achieved everything, but what if you failed to achieve your dreams?

I think I'm overreacting, because I got like 2 B+s on my exams instead of A's, but still I can't shake this feeling of inadequacy. I know I have to look deep inside myself. It's just that my life is basically focused on achieving my future goals and dreams, I work towards them constantly and that's all that I care about. That's why it's my biggest (and only) flaw, because my mind is so forward focused. I know that I'm going to achieve a lot, but I don't know if it'll be exactly what I want. Were you like this when you were my age?

[Antares]

I think I'm overreacting, because I got like 2 B+s on my exams instead of A's, but still I can't shake this feeling of inadequacy. I know I have to look deep inside myself. It's just that my life is basically focused on achieving my future goals and dreams, I work towards them constantly and that's all that I care about. That's why it's my biggest (and only) flaw, because my mind is so forward focused. I know that I'm going to achieve a lot, but I don't know if it'll be exactly what I want. Were you like this when you were my age?

Well, I know you were addressing VD, and I'm not 'your age', but I'd be quite put out if that happened to me. Now, I'll get my Chemistry exam scores back tomorrow and I'd be disappointed with anything less than an A. I feel like a failure if I achieve B's. It may be a common emotion for INTJ students.

[Jgib5328]

Well, I know you were addressing VD, and I'm not 'your age', but I'd be quite put out if that happened to me. Now, I'll get my Chemistry exam scores back tomorrow and I'd be disappointed with anything less than an A. I feel like a failure if I achieve B's. It may be a common emotion for INTJ students.

Anything <A = failure.

[Antares]

Anything <A = failure.

*nods vigorously* What is more commonly known as 'Asian fail' by my peers. In short, I have a need to excel, and when I don't, it's just :angry:

[vaguely dissatisfied]

I mean you can say that now that you've achieved everything, but what if you failed to achieve your dreams?

I think I'm overreacting, because I got like 2 B+s on my exams instead of A's, but still I can't shake this feeling of inadequacy. I know I have to look deep inside myself. It's just that my life is basically focused on achieving my future goals and dreams, I work towards them constantly and that's all that I care about. That's why it's my biggest (and only) flaw, because my mind is so forward focused. I know that I'm going to achieve a lot, but I don't know if it'll be exactly what I want. Were you like this when you were my age?
I was exactly like that when I was young. My achievements were everything to me. This obsession with success and reaching goals probably stems from the perfectionistic attitude which, for me, comes from the belief that I don't have any intrinsic value. I must prove my worth by setting harder and harder goals for myself. Every time I meet those expectations I prove myself worthy.....for that moment. Then it's on to the next proving achievment. And if I fail? The sinking, gut-wrenching knowledge that I really am worthless.

I'm telling you..........this sort of thinking is like believing that achieving orgasm is the ultimate goal within a relationship. It feels really good in the moment. It can give you a high like no other you've experienced before. But almost as soon as it's over you're looking for the next one. Why? Because the goal is fleeting, momentary pleasure and not anything long-lasting or with substance.

Marks in school are goals set by someone else. Hoops for you to jump through with the rest of the masses to prove you're worthy. I say set up your own hoops. Take ownership of your own life and destiny. Yes.....this is a difficult thing to do within the boundaries society has set. Yes.......you will have to jump through some of their hoops. But, you don't have to buy into the bullshit they feed you. Not everything you are told is true. You don't have to be a sheep.

[Jgib5328]

I was exactly like that when I was young. My achievements were everything to me. This obsession with success and reaching goals probably stems from the perfectionistic attitude which, for me, comes from the belief that I don't have any intrinsic value. I must prove my worth by setting harder and harder goals for myself. Every time I meet those expectations I prove myself worthy.....for that moment. Then it's on to the next proving achievment. And if I fail? The sinking, gut-wrenching knowledge that I really am worthless.

I'm telling you..........this sort of thinking is like believing that achieving orgasm is the ultimate goal within a relationship. It feels really good in the moment. It can give you a high like no other you've experienced before. But almost as soon as it's over you're looking for the next one. Why? Because the goal is fleeting, momentary pleasure and not anything long-lasting or with substance.

Marks in school are goals set by someone else. Hoops for you to jump through with the rest of the masses to prove you're worthy. I say set up your own hoops. Take ownership of your own life and destiny. Yes.....this is a difficult thing to do within the boundaries society has set. Yes.......you will have to jump through some of their hoops. But, you don't have to buy into the bullshit they feed you. Not everything you are told is true. You don't have to be a sheep.

What else is there in life other than reaching your dreams and goals? I feel that it is my purpose to strive for perfection, because everything else is meaningless. I realized in high school that all I wanted to do was to reach my highest self and nothing else. In order to achieve my highest self I need to master everything and make myself the best in all aspects of life that I consider important. In order to do that, I need to pretend to be a sheep and strive for perfect marks in school, but that's only a means to an end. It is only a way for me to reach my ultimate goal, it is merely another step on the stairway to success.

I also agree with the philosophy that human beings have no intrinsic value. I realized that all students and below are basically worthless human beings. Take me for example, I contribute absolutely nothing to society. I have never advanced the world, I haven't achieved anything outside of academia or my own personal self. In order to make myself a human being of worth, I need to achieve something tangible and do something important. If I don't, I'll just be like all the other worthless members of society, forever destined to mediocrity.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

What else is there in life other than reaching your dreams and goals? I feel that it is my purpose to strive for perfection, because everything else is meaningless. I realized in high school that all I wanted to do was to reach my highest self and nothing else. In order to achieve my highest self I need to master everything and make myself the best in all aspects of life that I consider important. In order to do that, I need to pretend to be a sheep and strive for perfect marks in school, but that's only a means to an end. It is only a way for me to reach my ultimate goal, it is merely another step on the stairway to success.

I also agree with the philosophy that human beings have no intrinsic value. I realized that all students and below are basically worthless human beings. Take me for example, I contribute absolutely nothing to society. I have never advanced the world, I haven't achieved anything outside of academia or my own personal self. In order to make myself a human being of worth, I need to achieve something tangible and do something important. If I don't, I'll just be like all the other worthless members of society, forever destined to mediocrity.
What if..........not only everything outside of your dreams and goals and perfectionism is meaningless, but what if your dreams and goals and being perfect is meaningless too?

What if everything you think is important isn't important at all? And what if you achieving your highest self doesn't mean anything?

What if mediocrity is no better or worse than any other state of being?

If meaning lies with each individual and each of us chooses what we buy into and what we don't buy into as far as what is worthwhile and has meaning, then we can choose to buy into nothing.

[Jgib5328]

What if..........not only everything outside of your dreams and goals and perfectionism is meaningless, but what if your dreams and goals and being perfect is meaningless too?

What if everything you think is important isn't important at all? And what if you achieving your highest self doesn't mean anything?

What if mediocrity is no better or worse than any other state of being?

If meaning lies with each individual and each of us chooses what we buy into and what we don't buy into as far as what is worthwhile and has meaning, then we can choose to buy into nothing.

Well objectively, everything is intrinsically meaningless. Through my subjective eyes I decide what is meaningful and what isn't. So I decided that striving for greatness is meaningful, while everything else is meaningless. I know objectively that nothing is important other than making sure you survive and continue the human race, but subjectively reaching my dreams means everything to me.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Well objectively, everything is intrinsically meaningless. Through my subjective eyes I decide what is meaningful and what isn't. So I decided that striving for greatness is meaningful, while everything else is meaningless. I know objectively that nothing is important other than making sure you survive and continue the human race, but subjectively reaching my dreams means everything to me.
Precisely! Except for the part about surviving and continuing the human race.....which are also meaningless.

So. You have decided what has meaning for you snd, therefore, it is meaningful to you for now. But will it always continue to be meaningful? Once you achieve a goal will that achievement be enough or will it spur you on to another goal? Is striving for goals enough?

Also, are these your goals or something someone told you you should strive for? I ask these questions because this has what has happened to me. First, I achieved goals that really didn't satisfy me personally because I didn't think that what I valued was important. Second, I began to see that because meaning is assigned by me, then everything is meaningless.

[Jgib5328]

Precisely! Except for the part about surviving and continuing the human race.....which are also meaningless.

So. You have decided what has meaning for you snd, therefore, it is meaningful to you for now. But will it always continue to be meaningful? Once you achieve a goal will that achievement be enough or will it spur you on to another goal? Is striving for goals enough?

Also, are these your goals or something someone told you you should strive for? I ask these questions because this has what has happened to me. First, I achieved goals that really didn't satisfy me personally because I didn't think that what I valued was important. Second, I began to see that because meaning is assigned by me, then everything is meaningless.

Once I achieve my goals, I figure that I'll be living with a great deal of contentment. I don't know if it will always be meaningful to me, it may or may not, it depends on how my life turns out.

These are all goals that I set for myself. Nobody controls my life but me and I'd never let anyone dictate my purpose. Everyone always tells me that I should lighten up and try to enjoy life more, nobody has ever pushed me to decide my purpose though.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

Once I achieve my goals, I figure that I'll be living with a great deal of contentment. I don't know if it will always be meaningful to me, it may or may not, it depends on how my life turns out.

These are all goals that I set for myself. Nobody controls my life but me and I'd never let anyone dictate my purpose. Everyone always tells me that I should lighten up and try to enjoy life more, nobody has ever pushed me to decide my purpose though.
Well..perhaps it will turn out that way for you. If there are any content achievers on the forum please speak up.

It has not turned out that way for me, but I'm only one person. The fact that you control your own life and that no one dictates purpose to you is a very good thing......it may take you to exactly where you want to go.

[Jgib5328]

Well..perhaps it will turn out that way for you. If there are any content achievers on the forum please speak up.

It has not turned out that way for me, but I'm only one person. The fact that you control your own life and that no one dictates purpose to you is a very good thing......it may take you to exactly where you want to go.

How'd you feel when you reached your goals? I do remember when I achieved something significant, I didn't really celebrate or anything, but I am certainly enjoying the benefits of it.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

How'd you feel when you reached your goals? I do remember when I achieved something significant, I didn't really celebrate or anything, but I am certainly enjoying the benefits of it.
It felt good I guess. It was usually such a struggle that the dominant feeling was relief that the stress was over. But, I got bored or was dissatified with the careers they brought and was always looking for something else.......I still am vaguely dissatisfied. Maybe it's just me..........maybe most people feel a great deal of pride and satisfaction in their achievements.

[vkut79]

It felt good I guess. It was usually such a struggle that the dominant feeling was relief that the stress was over. But, I got bored or was dissatified with the careers they brought and was always looking for something else.......I still am vaguely dissatisfied. Maybe it's just me..........maybe most people feel a great deal of pride and satisfaction in their achievements.

It doesn't seem to me that complete satisfaction or fulfillment is possible, at least for me. Whenever I accomplish a great goal, it makes me feel good, but I'm never satisfied. I look to what's next. I'm not sure if that's human nature, or INTJ nature, but I know its my nature.

And I don't have a problem with it. When you realize that eventual contentment is an illusion, that its just a motivational construct, then you realize that its fruitless to always think about the future. You need to live in and appreciate the present as well if you want to find contentment. This is why there are many wise sayings that tell you to focus on your present experience and not the past and future.

That being said, I think its important to think about the future and strive for goals because it ensures that you stay on the right track - but this shouldn't be your whole purpose in life. "Jumping through hoops" only to get to the next level isn't that enjoyable or fulfilling if you don't like the actual everyday experience that it brings. You really need to figure out for yourself the right balance between future and present - its different for everyone. Ideally you can accomplish great goals and enjoy the actual process of doing it, but often its not like that in real life. You have to reflect on what you really want from life and decide from that. Most importantly, don't let other people decide what you want from life, you decide.

[SeaCzar]

Wow. There is a lot going on here.

For the sake of argument, I'll assume you are currently a college student. When I was your age, I wanted it all, and I wanted it now. I had no patience whatsoever. If you feel this way, you will learn patience, trust me on this. You'll have to; otherwise, you will live a miserable existence.

I also get the vibe that you are striving for perfection. Strive for excellence; perfection does not exist. The is not one mother f*&#ing thing on this planet, or anywhere else as far as that's concerned, that's perfect. Perfection ended with the Big Bang.

Failure. You should define failure as somehow winding up in jail. Look at everything else as a set back. You will have plenty of set backs in your life, but these are positive events, inasmuch as you will learn from them, and they will make you a better person for it. It will also be a measure of your success, that you have soldiered on, defied the odds, etc. Think about this. Would you really want everything to go your way, all the time? Every game you played, you would win. Regardless of anything you ever said or did, you would reap untold riches and adulation, irrespective of the consequences to others. Sounds pretty Stalinesque to me.

I would counter-argue your point "everything is intrinsically meaningless". I would suggest that everything is intrinsically meaningful. Whether or not one perceives this meaning is another matter. Further, I would hope that your overarching goal in not gobs of money. If it is, that's easy enough to achieve (in my opinion, anyway). It will buy tons of comfort, but not contentment. Its been my experience that contentment comes with living a quality and successful life. I am not suggesting that you stand on a corner with a tin cup in your hand. Rather, your goals should be tiered. Success in self goes way beyond money.

Realize too that your goals WILL change. Perhaps in ways that are subtle, others not so subtle. I think that the best piece of advise I could give you is that as you age, time accelerates. Sure, there are the same 365/6 days in every year, but somehow what once felt like a month is now a week. Plan accordingly.

I am much more happy with the small stuff. To be fair, I do not need to worry about income. I am not filthy rich, but well off enough to be able to do what I want to do, and when I want to do it. My current goal is catch up the office enough so that I can go bird watching for a week in May.

The short answer to your question is yes, I have achieved my goals, but they changed radically, and for the better, from what they were when I was your age. There are many ways to conquer the world. Do not allow your focus to be of such a singularity of purpose that you block out all else.

[Jgib5328]

Wow. There is a lot going on here.

For the sake of argument, I'll assume you are currently a college student. When I was your age, I wanted it all, and I wanted it now. I had no patience whatsoever. If you feel this way, you will learn patience, trust me on this. You'll have to; otherwise, you will live a miserable existence.

Yeah I am a college student and am impatient. I want to see how my life will turn out and I want to reach my goal already.

I also get the vibe that you are striving for perfection. Strive for excellence; perfection does not exist. The is not one mother f*&#ing thing on this planet, or anywhere else as far as that's concerned, that's perfect. Perfection ended with the Big Bang.

Striving for perfection is like striving for an ideal. I know it's impossible in this world to reach an ideal, but striving to get as close as possible will allow you to have some semblance of that ideal.

Failure. You should define failure as somehow winding up in jail. Look at everything else as a set back. You will have plenty of set backs in your life, but these are positive events, inasmuch as you will learn from them, and they will make you a better person for it. It will also be a measure of your success, that you have soldiered on, defied the odds, etc. Think about this. Would you really want everything to go your way, all the time? Every game you played, you would win. Regardless of anything you ever said or did, you would reap untold riches and adulation, irrespective of the consequences to others. Sounds pretty Stalinesque to me.

I think you fail whenever you don't reach a goal. I wanted to get an A on my exam, I got a B+, fail. I try to use it to motivate me to work harder so I don't fail ever again. I realize that set backs are natural, but sometimes I really just want things go go my way once in awhile.

I would counter-argue your point "everything is intrinsically meaningless". I would suggest that everything is intrinsically meaningful. Whether or not one perceives this meaning is another matter. Further, I would hope that your overarching goal in not gobs of money. If it is, that's easy enough to achieve (in my opinion, anyway). It will buy tons of comfort, but not contentment. Its been my experience that contentment comes with living a quality and successful life. I am not suggesting that you stand on a corner with a tin cup in your hand. Rather, your goals should be tiered. Success in self goes way beyond money.

Things only have meaning because we subjectively give them meaning. Think about all the words that I'm typing. They have no intrinsic meaning, the human race gave them meaning.

I'm not shallow enough to just desire an affluent life, I strive to reach my highest self, I figure the wealth will come with that.

Realize too that your goals WILL change. Perhaps in ways that are subtle, others not so subtle. I think that the best piece of advise I could give you is that as you age, time accelerates. Sure, there are the same 365/6 days in every year, but somehow what once felt like a month is now a week. Plan accordingly.

Yeah, I'm sure my goals will change slightly, but I feel like it's my ultimate purpose to reach my highest self.

The short answer to your question is yes, I have achieved my goals, but they changed radically, and for the better, from what they were when I was your age. There are many ways to conquer the world. Do not allow your focus to be of such a singularity of purpose that you block out all else.

I appreciate the advice.

[bubbles]

This is for the older INTJs I guess, but younger INTJs can talk about smaller goals that they achieved. I just want to know if you were able to reach those dreams you had when you were younger. I am young right now and have big dreams for the future, but as I get older, it seems that I won't reach them. I sometimes fully believe in myself, but other times my confidence falters and I start to wonder. I think failure is the worst thing that could happen to me, and I fear that it'll destroy me if it ever comes.

I'm young and I'm probably the same age as you. So far, I have achieved some dreams of mine that I've had when I was younger - I got accepted to a university that I never thought I would get accepted into (and with a decent scholarship); I'm much healthier now than I was before; I am getting along with my parents and siblings. Honestly, I really don't feel any better nor feel any sense of accomplishment for realizing those dreams, and I can imagine myself not achieving those dreams. Getting along with my parents and siblings is probably the only one that I listed that actually matters to me. I also have big dreams in the future, but I probably won't achieve them because I'm not being realistic, but I would be content no matter what. I guess what I'm trying to say is that our loved ones matter more than our personal goals, and be realistic in your dreams. If you're not realistic, then you should probably accept the fact that you might not achieve those far-fetched goals and still be content with your life. Sure, achieving prestigious goals and "success" (as defined by society) is great, but does it really bring you true happiness or is it merely something that maintains your self-esteem? (Not a rhetorical question)

Speaking of failure, I think I'm going to fail (or do very poorly in) a class or two this quarter, and I was considering grad school. It's going to be tough handling failure :(

[Alpha Prime]

It doesn't seem to me that complete satisfaction or fulfillment is possible, at least for me. Whenever I accomplish a great goal, it makes me feel good, but I'm never satisfied. I look to what's next. I'm not sure if that's human nature, or INTJ nature, but I know its my nature.

The human brain is hardwired this way, for evolutionary purposes.

[MichaelH]

...you realize that its fruitless to always think about the future. You need to live in and appreciate the present as well if you want to find contentment. This is why there are many wise sayings that tell you to focus on your present experience and not the past and future.

That's probably the best advice I'd give myself when I was 18. That, and relax a little. It's true, getting a B+ on an exam when your goal was an A is disappointing. It's even failure to meet a goal. This does not make you a failure; it just means there is a goal that didn't get met.

I hope others won't be offended when I include them, but us INTJs have a strong natural inclination to look to the future. I'm learning the futility of that as I approach 35. You can't live your entire life for some vaguely-imagined future time and hope that everything will be better then. Focus on what you can do now, to make your life better now. Planning for the future is appropriate. Living for the future is a waste.

Jbig: Good luck on the next exam!

[TheLastMohican]

This is for the older INTJs I guess, but younger INTJs can talk about smaller goals that they achieved. I just want to know if you were able to reach those dreams you had when you were younger. I am young right now and have big dreams for the future, but as I get older, it seems that I won't reach them. I sometimes fully believe in myself, but other times my confidence falters and I start to wonder. I think failure is the worst thing that could happen to me, and I fear that it'll destroy me if it ever comes.

I dislike referring to my ambitions as "dreams." Dreams tend to unrealistic and far-fetched, and generally a waste of time. I have very ambitious plans. I mean to follow those plans, and I am fairly confident of success. I guess failing to achieve some of those things is something I have not taken much time to consider. If I am not the Galactic Dictator by age 25, I'll have to rethink things. :stunned:

I have achieved most of my smaller goals, and those that I have not achieved have tended to be less in my control. If I have control of the circumstances, or if luck is not a factor, I can do whatever I set my mind to...so far.
(And probably so can you. You are an INTJ.)

Now go forth and conquer, but be back by 9:30.

The above arrogance is not what it seems, but merely a case of INTJ confidence. I know what I know and do not know. :)

[jayel214]

I've written a blog about achieving your goals.
If you stop believing, you're losing hold of your dreams which is already in your hands. It's just that, its not the right time for you to have it. Just don't lose faith. Keep on believing. :)

[CRIM]

I've written a blog about achieving your goals.
If you stop believing, you're losing hold of your dreams which is already in your hands. It's just that, its not the right time for you to have it. Just don't lose faith. Keep on believing. :)

I really wanted to be a fighter pilot when I was a child and also during my teenage years. But my myopia which was inherited stopped me from that big dream. You have to be born with near perfect eye sight to be considered. So, how was it in my hands? And where was God then? ;D

[froyo]

Once I achieve my goals, I figure that I'll be living with a great deal of contentment. I don't know if it will always be meaningful to me, it may or may not, it depends on how my life turns out.

Throughout my childhood, I've experienced my family become substantially successful. We live in the same amount of contentment as before. The only difference is there is a big pile of money somewhere. I've realized that, in my life, I want enough money to live a stable life but have absolutely no desire for anything more. This hasn't went well with my goals and aspirations since I'm not very motivated by money, success, or fame. For me, finding the motivation is probably a bigger roadblock than my ability to actually achieve my goals.
I guess my point is that I've realized that life doesn't end once you achieve your goals. The harsh reality (and the beauty) of life continues. :)

As for saying to be less future-oriented. Well, that's probably right for me. I've spent the last half year inside my head thinking about the future to the point that I'm not sure whether I'm just dreaming or actually thinking about the future. Present FTW.

[Contemplative]

1. I've derived the most satisfaction from working toward goals. It's nice when I achieve a goal, but then I'm off for something else.

2. I think everyone should have goals, regardless of age.

"It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out where the strong man stumbled and fell. Rather, the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena... And if he fails, at least he fails daring greatly so that his final resting place is not with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat." -Theodore Roosevelt

[froyo]

1. I've derived the most satisfaction from working toward goals. It's nice when I achieve a goal, but then I'm off for something else.

I was once told, it isn't reaching a goal that's so rewarding, but the process of getting there.
Also, how meaningful reaching a goal is depends on the path you took to get there.

[Qjiggy]

Well let me see

1. I got a house with bad credit and somehow resold it and came on top.
2. Left a comfortable job to experience more in my field to come back to that comfortable job was just priceless.

People can simply say I got lucky, I can say I got lucky. Perhaps I'm only noting the ones that actually came through. But the topic says "were you able to achieve dreams" didn't say anything about the bad ones. My next peat will be harder to get, let's see in ten years if I can add more into that list above.

[stealthfighter]

I'm still young but I feel like there are too many things on the way before I reach anything significant.

[Qjiggy]

Omg I forgot to mention the latest and most important to me. My legal battle for child access. Nobody and I mean nobody offered to help. What I mean offered, I was given advice, I had support, but it's different from family and friends to a lawyer who is just out to get cash from me. I was in a such of a mess, it was easier for me to pretend nothing has happened. My ex totally played her card and then some, but the careful plotted plan was needed to achieve the result that I wanted. The judge was even on my side. I could have even laid "damages" to my ex but it wasn't on my initial plan and wasn't dreamt off. So yeah dreams can be achieved, if you think about it long enough, play it out in your mind, and always asking yourself "does it make sense?", should be able to overturn the outcome to your desired results.

[rika]

I'm still dreaming. And I hope that this will always be the case.

Yes, I have achieved many things in my life so far.

When looking back I always have the feeling that I had been doing something worthwhile with my time. If something did not work out the there was lesson to be learned from this.