Intense Movies

[eri]

I share a house with other girls, and one thing I find is that they don't like movies that they would call "intense." Usually this includes anything that can be called an action movie. Even just a few scenes in a drama or such, one of them will fast-forward through, sometimes- especially anything violent, but for example, anything with a lot of action, chase scenes, etc.

That's ok, except that a lot of the movies they enjoy, I don't care for (and they assume I'll like what they do). And I like action movies, but.... never watch them in our living room.

Tonight we started watching Confessions of a Shopaholic (not my choice). It finally hit me- the reason I don't like this movie, and others like it, is that it's too intense. In a different way, of course. Here, it's the never-ending idiotic, stupid behavior of the main character. I can't stand it. I'm constantly waiting for the disasters to happen- that don't need to happen. Drives me insane. I think that's why it's so hard for me to watch it (I quit partway through).
Can anyone-especially any women- relate to this? (I'm not trying to suggest mbti, but does it make sense?)

[plotthickens]

yeah, have seen this. Could be caused by a lot of things.

Are they survivors of some kind of violence or something? Or do they separate the world into "boy things" and "girl things" obssessively? Or are they afraid of being seen as unfeminine?

[seraphicharm]

Here, it's the never-ending idiotic, stupid behavior of the main character. I can't stand it. I'm constantly waiting for the disasters to happen- that don't need to happen. Drives me insane. I think that's why it's so hard for me to watch it (I quit partway through).
Can anyone-especially any women- relate to this? (I'm not trying to suggest mbti, but does it make sense?)

I can't stand watching that kind of thing. Watching people do things that I know will have only a bad outcome and they should KNOW better, watching people do idiotic things (a lot of why I just don't get "stupid" humor movies). It's sheer torture and very tiring. I'd rather see something like V for Vendetta or Star Trek.

[Silverity]

I love action movies and prefer them over, uh... actionless romacy/drama/stupid comedy types. Though, at the same time, sometimes I just NEED an idiotic comedy to watch after a long and stressful day. I'm thinking specifically of Zoolander.

Movies like... er I can't actually think of a really good example because if I think a movie is going to be brainless I don't watch it. I've never seen American Pie or any of the typical teen-boy meets teen-girl movies. Yuck, they just seem so boring.

Still, if not an action/drama flick, I'd rather watch something stimulating that makes you think. For instance, hm, A Beautiful Mind was a great non-action movie.

When I do watch a stupid movie I usually do so alone as opposed to with a bevy of females.

[El Cas]

I have a similar problem, when it comes to movies or T.V. shows and my wife if she wants to watch somthing that is to intense for me (i.e. to much stupidity, blantently obvious plots, suppose to trigger feelings, etc.) I have to leave or find something to distract myself.

The same goes for anything on the opposite end for her. I have been slowly converting her over to my end of the spectrum (she will watch anything that does not require a lot of brain power to understand) but she has yet to admit it to me (I have caught her watching show I like and she claims to hate by herself).

I think if you just put in any "intense" movie and claim the remote you will be able to at least convert them to the point where they will not fast-forward through the action scenes in future movie watching.

[Equos]

The one thing about "romantic comedy" type movies is that they are all alike:

Girl finds a guy through normal or magical circumstances (ie: time travel, witchcraft/love potion), or is torn between guys (usually a rich asshole vs. a down to earth lover). Then something goes horribly wrong at some point due to poor decision making on either side's part.

But wait it's OK because girl finally realizes that she and the nicer dude belong together ( -- insert dramatic teary ending here -- ). The End.

[AnnoyingPony]

My mom has that problem. She's always afraid of watching movies that are "too intense" so she watches boring stuff like Sex and the City instead. I don't see the charm of Sex and the City at all - what kind of average New York woman walks around in designer clothes and has sex with every remotely attractive male stand-in she meets?

I prefer watching things like Law & Order, but my dad (who is a big conspiracy theorist) is convinced that shows like Law & Order were written for the express purpose of brainwashing people into believing they have no rights. Therefore I watch it when he's not around because he'll interrupt the show to spout more nonsense otherwise.

My brother watches things like iCarly (spoiled whiny teenage girl with her bitchy mean teenage BFF make an overrated web show with the help of her underrated artistic brother and the only ethical boy on the show who runs the cameras). Now he wants to make a web show. I try to tell him that it doesn't work that way in the real world, and my mom says, "Don't be condescending to your brother!"

[Rohsiph]

Show your roomies a little Japanese flick called Tetsuo: Iron Man. Share what happens. Maybe secret-video-tape it to post on YouTube.

[lurk]

it's the never-ending idiotic, stupid behavior of the main character. I can't stand it. I'm constantly waiting for the disasters to happen- that don't need to happen. Drives me insane.
This is exactly why I could never watch Curb Your Enthusiasm. After just a few minutes I'd find myself so annoyed I couldn't stand it.

[visitor]

I found Avatar emotionally draining. I loved it, but I just had to just get away for a little while and soak it all in. It involves a lot of internal thinking about human kind. A guy friend felt the same way. Another guy friend (ENFP) didn't feel that way.

---------- Post added 02-05-2010 at 09:17 PM ----------

This is exactly why I could never watch Curb Your Enthusiasm. After just a few minutes I'd find myself so annoyed I couldn't stand it.

Haha, my ISFP friend can't watch Larry David or The Office because she feels embarrassed for them. She loves It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia though.

[plushbug]

I'm constantly waiting for the disasters to happen- that don't need to happen. Drives me insane. I think that's why it's so hard for me to watch it (I quit partway through).
Can anyone-especially any women- relate to this?
Ooyeah. Chick flicks, sitcoms, contemporary romantic comedy :yuck: ...no, thank you. Ditto 'tender' or 'sensitive' family drama, which I tend to experience as preachy and wannabe-manipulative. I may make occasional exceptions for romantic comedy when the emphasis is heavily on the comedy (thinking A Funny Thing Happened On the Way to the Forum, and yeah, I recall liking Zoolander too), but for the rest...action, please! Not big on gore or horror, but I'll take on mindless pulp/mystery/thriller/comic/fantasy/sf/animation or anything involving authentic martial arts any time, for preference.

[interpolate]

I don't enjoy watching most "genre" films, that includes romantic comedies.

[Nemesis]

Show your roomies a little Japanese flick called Tetsuo: Iron Man. Share what happens. Maybe secret-video-tape it to post on YouTube.

What a mean prank to play on these poor innocent people. :laugh:

[Rohsiph]

What a mean prank to play on these poor innocent people. :laugh:

:laugh: I've had my eye out for a movie more intense than Tetsuo for some time now . . . my best lead is another Japanese flick called The Noisy Requiem but I haven't been able to find a subtitled version. What I've read is it's not so action-packed, but amplifies the emotional horror exponentially.

"Intense" as in truly, viscerally intense. Perhaps like stereotypical INTJ intensity--focused, deliberate, with a heavy dose of borderline madness/genius.

[vampyroteuthis]

I usually find watching a romantic comedy a more intense and unpleasant experience myself. I generally start to think about the politics behind the assumptions in it, and start unpacking the sexism. That and the improbability masked by a fluffy sort of insouciance and the lack of relatable female characters just drives me up the wall. (That said, I did enjoy Clueless.)

That said, I don't know that my taste in movies runs to the 'intense', as I think that means different things for different people. I startle easily, so no horror movies, no matter how ludicrous the plot and acting. Too many moments of things jumping out suddenly and my heart starts pounding. I have a low threshold for violence, and I like humour in movies. I liked Inglourious Basterds, though I had to cover my eyes during certain scenes, but I could not get through more than 5 minutes of Kill Bill. I especially can't handle highly aestheticised violence against women. I cannot and will not watch rape, and I'm unlikely to seek out movies like Monster's Ball or Revolutionary Road or Dancer in the Dark as I've found that, even done well, they often have an element of melancholy schmaltz to them.

Most of the movies I like are either clever action films like the Usual Suspects, or light-hearted heist films (not 'intense' by any stretch of the imagination), or more thoughtful films that are fairly low-key but offbeat, and intense in a different way perhaps, a more detached, cerebral sort of way. They are usually visually and aurally intense (e.g. Wong Kar Wai's films) and have some sort of ambiguity. But they're not deeply emotionally wringing or anything like that.

I guess what I'm trying to get at is that we seek the kind of intensity we like. Sounds like your roommates don't see it that way, and are making some very sexist assumptions about what you'd like based on your gender.

[Rohsiph]

vampyroteuthis: I'm intrigued. You seem to know your limits when it comes to consuming entertainment.

What I wonder is if you're really comfortable having such limits. Have you spent much time considering why you would refuse to watch certain things that are known fictions?

Surely, expanding one's boundaries isn't for everyone. But it has been one of my philosophical foci for most of my life. I can't remember noticing anyone else asserting known limits so clearly and concisely on the forums before (though surely it has happened elsewhere).

I'll try to sum this up in one question: if I could convince you that watching a violent, horrific film would teach you something leading to a life-changing revelation, would you walk away or watch it?

[Mader]

First, someone above mentioned possible problems in the past affecting the type of movie people watch. This is quite valid. Also, some people are more sensitive to stimulation than others. I am one of them, for example:

Saving Private Ryan. An excellent movie, but the violence was so intense that I left the theater quite upset - my husband even asked me if I was OK, I guess he could tell from the way I squeezed his hand throughout the movie.

But I do enjoy a good old fashioned shoot-em-up of any kind. Yep, I like the hero saving the girl, or the buddy, or the weapon of mass destruction. I enjoy watching the good guys beat the bad guys. Just not good at the really intense, putting you right inside the shooting, movie. I also dislike graphic torture. I like my action movie hero to be, well, heroic, honorable. He/she can be a thief or a mercenary or whatever, but a good hearted thief or mercenary. :)

Chick flicks are often good, but the more juvenile comedies (American Pie) are not for me. My two favorite romantic comedies are Crossing Delancy and Creator.

And, not meaning to be prudish, but unnecessary nudity spoils a perfectly good movie. Shirts popping open, jerking off in the mens room (Something About Mary), I mean, these writers get paid lots of money, they can do better than that.

BTW, my two year old grandson has a crush on Carly, from ICarly. We watch it a lot. For a pre-teen show, it is decent, and yes, Freddy is the most normal of the crowd. I know, I need to get out more.

[vampyroteuthis]

vampyroteuthis: I'm intrigued. You seem to know your limits when it comes to consuming entertainment.

What I wonder is if you're really comfortable having such limits. Have you spent much time considering why you would refuse to watch certain things that are known fictions?

Surely, expanding one's boundaries isn't for everyone. But it has been one of my philosophical foci for most of my life. I can't remember noticing anyone else asserting known limits so clearly and concisely on the forums before (though surely it has happened elsewhere).

I'll try to sum this up in one question: if I could convince you that watching a violent, horrific film would teach you something leading to a life-changing revelation, would you walk away or watch it?

If I trusted you enough, I would watch it, with the option of stopping if it got too much for me.

I know I'm awfully specific with my limits, but they have little to do with intellectual preference and are somewhat related to past experiences. Sexual violence against women is just off limits for me based on my own history. Violence hasn't always been an issue but I worked for a human rights organisation with people who had experience of police torture and it completely destroyed my threshold for violence in films. Before that I could watch almost anything without batting an eyelid. I was young when I started that work, and was immersed in it somewhat intensely, and I think maybe I wasn't ready for the impact it would have.

You raise a very good question, though. Until now I've just defined my boundaries based on what I needed to feel safe and comfortable, but this is something that I think I'd like to work on slowly. It's also a question of not wanting to push those boundaries without having some help from a trusted friend. I'd need a safe enough environment so that if I have a sudden emotional reaction to the material, it would be okay to cry. I don't cry often so when I do in the presence of friends they often seem nonplussed/uncomfortable.

So yes, I'm probably not going to plunge into Kill Bill or Irreversible anytime soon, but given enough trust and comfort I could push the envelope.

[Rohsiph]

Excellent response, thank you vampyroteuthis :)

Past history always seems to be something I forget to consider. My past history is almost completely innocuous--the few bad things that have happened, relatively, have never been all that bad. My deepest traumas have been psychological, prompted mostly by conscious attempts to dig deeper within myself. Not everyone has such luxury.

I wonder if I'd avoid the kind of intense "entertainment" I often seek out had I lived through more external suffering. In a way I'm "desensitized," but I've also made efforts to try "re-sensitizing" myself to understand the consequences and ramifications of horrific acts. As such, I find my emotional responses to the best art I find are consistently more intense in themselves--a few years ago I'd never feel the slightest urge to cry or scream or loudly laugh. I'd chuckle sometimes, but not often. This is changing, though I'm still in control.

"If I trusted you enough" sounds excellent--good terms. Sensible, promising in potential effectiveness; within the company of folks who would appreciate some uncommon emotional expression as opposed to more casual company who would just get confused. I like that :)

[vampyroteuthis]

Excellent response, thank you vampyroteuthis :)

Past history always seems to be something I forget to consider. My past history is almost completely innocuous--the few bad things that have happened, relatively, have never been all that bad. My deepest traumas have been psychological, prompted mostly by conscious attempts to dig deeper within myself. Not everyone has such luxury.

I wonder if I'd avoid the kind of intense "entertainment" I often seek out had I lived through more external suffering. In a way I'm "desensitized," but I've also made efforts to try "re-sensitizing" myself to understand the consequences and ramifications of horrific acts. As such, I find my emotional responses to the best art I find are consistently more intense in themselves--a few years ago I'd never feel the slightest urge to cry or scream or loudly laugh. I'd chuckle sometimes, but not often. This is changing, though I'm still in control.

"If I trusted you enough" sounds excellent--good terms. Sensible, promising in potential effectiveness; within the company of folks who would appreciate some uncommon emotional expression as opposed to more casual company who would just get confused. I like that :)

Thank you, Rohsiph! I'm glad you liked my comment.

I've often wondered about that myself: about why some people who don't have similar constraints tend to seek out the difficult material when most would just rather watch the cheesy romantic comedy or Vin Diesel offering. I find I have more respect for people who do the former. :)