Can you infer cause and effect... or are you stupid?

[Athene]

Effect: When you wake up you find the ratio is still about equal.

Cause: China actually calls in the US debt and now owns us outright.

[freeeekyyy]

Effect: Nothing changes. They depend on us just as much as we do on them.

Cause: A massive, hurricane-size tornado hits texas.

[SuperSmart101]

Effect: All illegal immigrants die from the tornado.

Cause: Texas bans all citizens from bearing arms.

[Athene]

Effect: Hard-core gun enthusiasts (approximately 55% of the population of Texas) storm the capital; all politicians (even the right-wing gun-toting Republicans) in Austin are killed during the riots; the armed citizens' newly formed government announces that Texas has seceded; within three months the US (who determines we're just too much trouble) sells Texas back to Mexico for $500,000.

Cause: Texas is now officially recognized as part of Mexico.

[WoodsWoman]

Effect: Civil war breaks out as Texas once again strives to become it's own country.

Cause: Three varieties of fish are found to thrive on a diet of crude oil.

[Desmond Linus]

Effect: We eat the fish and get foodborne illnesses.

Cause: American English becomes the world's only language.

[Mr Mediocre]

Effect: We all get together and try to build a tower to God...then he smites the crap out of us for it after first making us all speak different languages. There are now 6 billion different languages

Cause: Everyone is invincible for a day

[N0c7urn3]

Effect: Everyone is dead or injured the next day.

Cause: The whole internet goes offline

[WoodsWoman]

Effect: Suicide rate quadruples.

Cause: Apples all ripen by September 1st.

[Cooper]

Effect: No apples for Halloween

Cause: Halloween is turned into a month long celebration.

[Taste of peat]

Effect : Halloween begins to bore most people and becomes old-fashioned.

Cause : Dexter Morgan feels thrilled.

[N0c7urn3]

Effect: There is a decrease in bad guys and an increase in donut purchases.

Cause: There are aliens among us.

[Mr Mediocre]

Effect: My cover is blown

Cause: We all get flying cars

[Cooper]

Effect: Air Traffic Controlers go on strike.

Cause: The doesn't come up tomorrow.

[Cam66]

Ef: "The" gets fired and The Sun takes his job.
Ca: Sarcasm

[Mr Mediocre]

Effect: Crazy shit happens because everyone takes everything literally.

Cause: Gravity decreases by 1/2.

[N0c7urn3]

Effect: People eat up to increase mass by a factor of 2, thereby maintaining weight.

Cause: The government starts charging people for air.

[freeeekyyy]

Effect: Mass revolt and the formation of a new government.

Cause: The sun is found to be a figment of the imagination.

[phoboser]

Effect: Brain-in-a-vat realizes it's in a vat.

Cause: tiny bladder syndrome.

[Mr Mediocre]

Effect: 4 hour work days, absorbent pad companies surpass Coca Cola and MacDonalds in Corporate Juggernautness (yep, new word, all the rage these days)

Cause: Irritable bowel syndrome

[phoboser]

Effect: The makers of the DivaCup introduce the WomanWithConstantDiarrheaCup.

Cause: Elizabeth Hasselbeck.

[jmizell]

Effect: Divorce takes everything David ever worked for

Cause: All Pink Floyd's orginal members are ressurected and go on an undead tour

[Bobsama]

Effect: Chaos

Cause: You.

[Synchronicity]

Effect: This post.

Cause: All television broadcasts, both air and cabled, cease.

[WoodsWoman]

Effect: Some people begin to think for themselves, others commit suicide.

Cause: Microsoft goes open source.

[Bobsama]

Effect: The world explodes.

Cause: {{WW}} changes her avatar

[Synchronicity]

Effect: the forum gains another glimpse into WW's creative mind.

Cause: the DoD "misplaces" the US's nuclear stockpile.

[reiven]

effect: weapons of mass destruction are finally found in the iraqi desert.

cause: a dog takes off with your most important piece of paper

[Athene]

Effect: Since it's my dog I head straight to her favorite hiding spot behind the bushes and command her to "drop it"... which she does, after quickly swallowing the half she's already chewed.

Cause: Due to climate changes, it's always 75 degrees, everywhere.

[Synchronicity]

Effect: seasonal clothing stores go out of business.

Cause: France declares war on the UK so they can "finally settle that old score".

[WoodsWoman]

Effect: Tennis championships become extremely heated.

Cause: Santa Clause starts using wolves instead of reindeer.

[reiven]

effect: children behave.

cause: bin laden is cornered in the automotive section of an iowa K mart.

[datagirl]

effect: top shot receives a complementary oil change

cause: Canada invades the United States

[reiven]

effect: washinton and montana put up a fight, but the mounties swing around through the dakotas and destroy our flank. baseball dies.

cause: body spray labels are put on spray-paint cans.

[Paragon Vixen]

Effect: Blue people roam

Cause: Avatar is real

[Taste of peat]

Effect : the avatar movie doesn't exist anymore.

Cause : I bought a new watch

[reiven]

effect: the our man flint resuscitation feature comes in handy when you are abducted by the ruskies.

cause: two swords on the table, and one very angry street vendor glaring at you

[Taste of peat]

effect : I take both swords and run on the opposite direction.

cause : a phone rings...

[reiven]

effect: your cover is blown. suddenly all 10 angry hispanic gang-bangers are looking for you in the warehouse. your service revolver has only 9 shots. this isn't gonna end well for you.

cause: you run out of almond bark and bakers chocolate at the same time.

[Synapse]

Effect: online chocolate restock.

Cause: Google and 4Chan do a page swap.