View Full Version : Can you infer cause and effect... or are you stupid?
05-31-2010, 08:25 PM
Effect: Free Shishkebab Day
Cause: the manufacture of radios ceases.
05-31-2010, 08:41 PM
Effect: Peace at red lights.
Cause: The sun sets in the East.
05-31-2010, 09:14 PM
Effect: the Earth reverses rotation.
Cause: everyone's IQ becomes elevated to "genius" level (>=140).
05-31-2010, 09:19 PM
Effect: All conversions and pursuits are now on the Metaphysical level.
Cause: No one is interested in reproductive labour.
05-31-2010, 09:30 PM
Effect: the population dies out.
Cause: insomniac ramblings on INTJf.
05-31-2010, 09:33 PM
Effect: Things get even more convoluted, noisy and confusing than ever before
Cause: A sudden influx of entropy.
05-31-2010, 09:36 PM
Effect: loss of efficiency.
Cause: someone not posting a cause.
05-31-2010, 09:47 PM
Effect: A dead thread
Cause: The topic had been beaten for so long that there were no new ideas to be added.
06-01-2010, 12:47 AM
Effect: Yet another Dead Thread Fred.
Cause: The only music available is from the 80s.
06-01-2010, 01:09 AM
Effect: We retrograde back into 80's fashion trends
Cause: Hollywood superstars suddenly think that the 80s were cool.
06-01-2010, 10:06 AM
Effect: we still retrograde into 80s fashion.
Cause: someone posts two causes.
06-01-2010, 10:17 AM
Effect: Confusion and eventual death of this thread and an expansion of the Dating and Relationship threads.
Cause: An ISFJ female puts a nearly topless woman as her avatar on a forum filled with NT males.
06-01-2010, 08:03 PM
Effect: All other females on the forum get ignored.
Cause: All cats begin to purr at the same moment.
06-01-2010, 11:07 PM
Effect: World peace.
Cause: It stops raining.
06-01-2010, 11:31 PM
Effect: Fish evolve to breathe air as the lakes dry up.
Cause: Oil sources run dry.
06-02-2010, 02:32 PM
Effect: Mankind is forced to use renewable sources of energy
Cause: The polar ice caps melt completely since global warming becomes worse.
06-02-2010, 02:40 PM
Effect: Marine life takes over the planet as land dwellers cannot evolve fast enough to survive the new waterworld.
Cause: Mosquitoes assume the form of anything they bite.
06-02-2010, 02:54 PM
Effect: They become the master race of the planet Earth
Cause: Mosquitoes draw blood from their prey and can replicate their prey's DNA.
06-02-2010, 03:02 PM
Effect: Mosquitoes become essential to counter-espionage efforts.
Cause: Peacocks lose their feathers.
06-02-2010, 03:05 PM
Effect:Peacocks can no longer attract mates and the species go extinct.
Cause: Peacocks evolve into INTJs.... (couldn't help that one :p)
06-02-2010, 03:18 PM
Effect: Male INTJs become makeup-wearing metro-sexuals and delve so deeply into fashion culture that they are never again mistaken for INTJs.
Cause: All drugs are legalized and heroin sales skyrocket.
06-02-2010, 03:52 PM
Effect: All people all become drug users and in the heights of euphoria begin committing mass murders.
Cause: Armageddon is about to occur with certainty in 12 days.
06-02-2010, 10:31 PM
Effect: shotgun shortage
Cause: squirrel infestation
06-02-2010, 10:37 PM
Effect: Peanut piles everywhere.
Cause: Dogs use litterboxes
06-02-2010, 10:48 PM
Effect: homes smell like dog shit
Cause: With sex, there is an equal chance the man or the woman gets pregnant
06-02-2010, 11:13 PM
Effect: A lot less sex going on.
Cause: The moon is always full
06-02-2010, 11:51 PM
Effect: More Coop- err, I mean werewolves - going nuts.
Cause: (Blank on purpose.)
06-03-2010, 05:54 AM
Effect: (doodled in space)
Cause: free ice cream for everybody!
06-03-2010, 01:32 PM
Effect: Ice cream replaces tomatoes in Spain, and dairy doesn't fare so well in the heat of the day.
Cause: Farting is outlawed and is punishable by death.
06-03-2010, 01:53 PM
Effect: the world comes up with a device to turn farts into Stephen Right jokes. Everyone has one.
Cause: Rock falls, everyone dies.
06-03-2010, 02:18 PM
Effect: Plant and animal life reinherit the earth, making it a wild paradise.
Cause: All buildings and structures in the world are painted red.
06-03-2010, 02:20 PM
Effect: The idiom "paint the town red" never comes into existence.
Cause: Bolsheviks picked a different color instead of red.
06-03-2010, 02:38 PM
Effect: The ever present gray leads to a 3,000% hike in the suicide rate.
Cause: Ice can never form again.
06-03-2010, 02:44 PM
Effect: Physics fails to explain the phenomenon and the universe collapses.
Cause: Minerva's phone rings.
06-03-2010, 03:19 PM
Effect: Bobsama is left waiting by the computer wondering who she's talking to, but she never returns.
Cause: INTJs spurn technology.
06-03-2010, 03:24 PM
Effect: The INTPs take over and no new technology is ever finished, just cool ideas explored.
Cause: All water suddenly tastes like Kool-Aid.
06-03-2010, 03:26 PM
Effect: World blood salinity takes a dangerous nosedive and we actually "live" to see the end of the world...or at least the end of human life.
Cause: The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are seen striding through Times Square at high noon.
06-03-2010, 03:58 PM
Effect: Cultists rush them for an autograph before armageddon
Cause: All guns suddenly shoot bouquets instead of bullets
06-03-2010, 05:09 PM
Effect: Guns are replaced by nuclear missile launchers.
Cause: Minerva wakes up
06-07-2010, 05:37 AM
Effect Bob has many dirty fantasies about me and begins stalking me on the threads.
Cause: Minerva gave Bob a little attention on the threads.
06-07-2010, 06:50 PM
effect: bob posts a soliloquy
cause: all plants are watered with bud light for a week
06-07-2010, 07:53 PM
Effect: all plant food products become alcoholic, and people stumble around drunk all the time.
Cause: TV killed the radio star -- literally.
06-07-2010, 07:57 PM
effect: percy sledge is resurrected and takes MTV by storm
cause: politicians are killed for lies, and they begin to speak the truth
06-07-2010, 08:27 PM
Effect: Life gets much better for all, except BP.
Cause: Kids learn to be seen, not heard.
06-07-2010, 08:29 PM
effect: duct tape sales skyrocket
cause: flirting is banned.
06-07-2010, 08:33 PM
Effect: reiven, Minerva, Dan, and a few others on this forum are devastated and wonder off into the desert, never to be heard from again.
Cause: Certain members of the forum disappear. The last time they are seen they are purchasing 55 gal. drums of SPF 50 sunblock, sunglasses, and floppy hats.
06-07-2010, 08:36 PM
effect: PARTY IN NASHVILLE!
cause: massive earthquake and California slides into the pacific.
06-07-2010, 08:46 PM
Effect: PARTY IN OREGON!!!!
Cause: Californcation of Oregon ends.
06-08-2010, 05:24 AM
effect: Lou Ferrigno is defeated in the Oregon gubernatorial primary
cause: actual american history is taught in american classrooms again
06-08-2010, 02:12 PM
effect: teenage suicides increase
cause: suddenly, the earth is hollow
06-08-2010, 06:19 PM
Effect: BP finaly gets the oil leak stopped.
Cause: Birds fly upside down.
06-08-2010, 08:47 PM
Effect: humans respond by walking via handstands.
Cause: xSFx types worldwide discover and become promptly addicted to World of Warcraft perpetually.
06-08-2010, 09:05 PM
Effect: The world is better off.
Cause: The power goes out worldwide.
06-08-2010, 09:39 PM
Effect: the Amish create a new world order.
Cause: Tool releases a new album.
06-08-2010, 10:43 PM
Effect: Hell warms up.
Cause: Hell freezes over.
06-10-2010, 05:21 AM
effect: disney builds a theme park there.
cause: people gradually begin to agree with everything you say.
06-10-2010, 01:56 PM
Effect: The world is helplessly sunk.
Cause: Cable TV is free.
06-10-2010, 04:08 PM
effect: now everyone knows MTV sucks
cause: i have one meeelllleeeoun *little finger to lip* dollars
*sends $900,000 to cooper*
06-10-2010, 06:23 PM
Effect: the largest wedding in Oregon's history is planned.
Cause: reiven learns how to teleport
06-10-2010, 08:25 PM
Effect: Skinman parts everywhere.
Cause: WoodsWoman opens a Bed and Breakfast
06-11-2010, 07:09 PM
Effect: INTJ's have a safe place to go on vacation.
Cause: Molecular fusion
06-11-2010, 07:11 PM
Cause: Dark lights
06-13-2010, 10:59 PM
Effect: The world takes on an eerie glow that leads to an explosion of vampiric cults.
Cause: The oceans freeze.
06-14-2010, 02:22 PM
Effect: Hockey becomes wildly popular.
Cause: Poland wins the World Cup.
06-14-2010, 02:28 PM
Effect: Every other nation on the planet, even those without teams, cover themselves in gasoline and light a match.
Cause: Extraterrestrials land and offer us new medicines.
06-14-2010, 05:03 PM
Effect: FDA arrests aliens for marketing unapproved drugs.
Cause: Country music is banned.
06-14-2010, 05:21 PM
Effect: Country fans go to their porches with their guitars and learn to play by themselves, and country singers go find real jobs to meet their qualifications.
Cause: Crystal Pepsi comes back out on the market.
06-14-2010, 08:17 PM
Effect: Coke adds the secret ingredient again.
Cause: The world needs a coke.
06-22-2010, 11:39 AM
Effect: Everyone steals their mom's tv.
Cause: There is a ban put on reproducing until an IQ test is administered to both would be parents.
06-22-2010, 12:41 PM
Effect: Life takes massive leaps forward.
Cause: We end our dependence on oil.
06-23-2010, 01:54 AM
Effect: We go back to our dependence on wood.
Cause: Mosquitoes go extinct.
06-23-2010, 03:09 AM
Effect: Deet goes out of style
Cause: I start to keep 'normal' hours
06-23-2010, 08:13 AM
Effect: Fyrn gets pissed at trying to keep up with your schedule.
Cause: WW disappears form the forum.
(I am NOT serious.)
06-23-2010, 04:01 PM
Effect: A search party is sent out.
Cause: Another search party is sent out to find the first one.
06-23-2010, 06:50 PM
Effect: Maine natives have plenty of meat for the coming winter.
Cause: Curative powers are found in the waters of the Pacific ocean off the Oregon coast.
06-23-2010, 06:54 PM
Effect: I'M HEALED!!!
Cause: Earthquake in Ottawa
06-23-2010, 07:08 PM
Effect: The subterranean cohorts of Fyrn's army get a tongue lashing of epic proportions for giving away their location.
Cause: Mt. St. Helens spews smoke.
06-23-2010, 07:10 PM
Effect: Flies drop like, well....flies.
Cause: Maine freezes over.
06-24-2010, 05:28 AM
Effect: Nothing changes. What's normal 6 months of the year just became permanent - no sweat. Really: no sweat.
Cause: Roses are found blooming on the moon.
06-24-2010, 11:07 AM
Effect: We starting moving there and inevitably destroy it as well
Cause: The ship built to take us to a new planet gets vadalized the day before takeoff
06-24-2010, 04:31 PM
Effect: NASA launches away.
Cause: Everyone speaks Russian
06-24-2010, 10:14 PM
Effect: aliens (who have been watching us for centuries with high-powered telescopes) believe that the entire Earth has been turned into the USSR.
Cause: Jesus walks the Earth.
06-25-2010, 12:22 AM
Effect: Homeland Security, ICE and the Border Patrol arrest him for not have the correct papers.
Cause: The US gives Arizona back to Mexico.
06-25-2010, 07:25 AM
Effect: Arizona becomes the base for the Mexican army to group and re-take the Alamo
Cause: y2k Happens ten years after they thought it would
06-25-2010, 08:32 AM
Effect: The robots that would've been created all die and turn into zombie robots. We all die.
Cause: 4chan manages to control every single site in the world for a day.
06-25-2010, 11:47 AM
Cause: Dogs fly
06-25-2010, 06:37 PM
Effect: cats move underground.
Cause: all Hollywood movie production ceases.
06-25-2010, 07:04 PM
Effect: People slowly begin to think for themselves again.
Cause: Vehicles begin to run on air.
06-28-2010, 01:00 AM
Effect: BP sinks
Cause: The world parties in the streets.
06-28-2010, 06:09 PM
Effect: Introverts start sabotaging the roads to keep 'em all in one place.
Cause: Due to excess humidity an aggressive form of mold takes over New England.
06-28-2010, 06:57 PM
Effect: Stephen King writes a book about it.
Cause: Jack leaves Wyatt alone.
06-28-2010, 09:08 PM
Effect: Wyatt gets bored and starts pestering Jack
Cause: Massive power surge at the Pixar rendering lab.
06-28-2010, 09:24 PM
Effect: The onset of the apocalypse.
Cause: The color of chocolate becomes bright red.
06-28-2010, 09:47 PM
Effect: 14 Feb will never be the same.
Cause: Hot dogs are now health food.
06-29-2010, 09:51 AM
Effect: Kids are healthier.
Cause: Everyone boycotts the Super Bowl.
06-29-2010, 09:56 AM
Effect: The end of the Budlight Bowl
Cause: Coffee is free.
06-29-2010, 10:37 AM
Effect: My "food" budget is cut in half.
Cause: INTJforum goes down
06-29-2010, 10:58 AM
Effect: INTJs and friends around the world go even nuttier.
Cause: No more commericals on cable TV
06-29-2010, 11:34 AM
Effect: DVRs are used for plastic bonfires
Cause: A hurricane blows oil all over New Orleans
06-30-2010, 12:13 AM
06-30-2010, 06:50 AM
Cause: Apples flesh turns into red meat.
06-30-2010, 04:32 PM
Effect: A whole new meaning to Apple Pie...
Cause: Hair turns pink instead of grey
06-30-2010, 05:09 PM
Effect: The older you get, the more hardcore you are. Too right!
Cause: Santa Claus found living homeless in the ghetto around Washington DC
06-30-2010, 05:12 PM
Effect: The fabric of society splitting at the seams.
Cause: The unrelenting indiscriminate pursuit of fame and fortune.
06-30-2010, 05:18 PM
Cause: Dog and Pony show
07-01-2010, 10:32 AM
Effect: Everyone follows the rules
Cause: Politicians are forced to follow through on all promises made
07-01-2010, 11:17 AM
Effect: politicians become mute for fear of accidentally promising to drop their pants on national television.
Cause: pirates hijack a US aircraft carrier.
07-01-2010, 11:20 AM
Effect: It never happened and the US military has never had a vessel by that name......
Cause: People all start to believe that the rules of society are meant to help them.
07-01-2010, 03:21 PM
Effect: Sales of anti-psycotic drugs triple
Cause: All things are done right
07-02-2010, 07:29 AM
Effect: Mankind ascends to a new level of intelligence where flesh is no longer necessary
Cause: We learn to communicate through tree and plant roots
07-02-2010, 01:22 PM
Effect: We have funny tails.
Cause: Animals speak
07-02-2010, 01:25 PM
Cause: INTJf goes down for a day
07-02-2010, 06:13 PM
Effect: All members panic and turn circles in confusion
Cause: Money is no longer needed.
07-06-2010, 12:39 PM
Effect: 100% population obesity
Cause: Cows go extinct
07-06-2010, 01:21 PM
Effect: Kids have to find something else to use as bases.
Cause: Peace on the INTJf
Effect: They rename it HuggleCentral.
Cause: Your brighter than everyone.
07-06-2010, 01:42 PM
Effect: I know how to use contractions.
Cause: INTJ allows trolling and flaming
Effect: Salient points are made.
Cause: There is no god.
07-06-2010, 02:20 PM
Effect: An increase in cohabitation
Cause: Speaking plainly.
Effect: Everyone says nothing, clearly.
Cause: Irony does not exist.
07-06-2010, 03:27 PM
07-06-2010, 03:30 PM
Effect: World peace.
Cause: Ant infestation
07-07-2010, 01:52 AM
Effect: The end of picnics
Cause: Heat wave
Effect: Tons of people sweating, air conditioners being overworked, and in some cases a lack of water for lawns.
Cause: Playing a shooter(namely TF2) for 10 hours straight.
07-07-2010, 08:26 AM
Effect: Brain death
Cause: Reality TV shows all go under at the same time
07-09-2010, 06:53 AM
Effect: More bad sitcoms.
Cause: Legislature limits cable to 10 channels.
07-09-2010, 07:18 AM
Effect: Facebook creators become world Super Powers
Cause: Facebook creators become world Super Powers
07-09-2010, 07:22 AM
Effect: Introverts implode.
Cause: Introverts go on strike
07-09-2010, 07:26 AM
Effect: collapse of the worlds economy when no one is there, behind the scenes, to keep the masses under control
Cause: Al Gore was right all along
07-09-2010, 07:29 AM
Effect: Vineyards grow in England, Finland and Canada have bumper crops. NYC build dikes with the help of the Dutch.
Cause: USA wins the World Cup
07-09-2010, 07:33 AM
Effect: The entire population of the rest of the world riots in anger
Cause: Boxing regains its popularity
07-09-2010, 07:44 AM
Effect: Mike Tyson becomes the new Don King.
Cause: World Peace
07-09-2010, 07:47 AM
Effect: We accidentally blow up the moon while we try to get rid of the nukes
Cause: A radio transmission from another planet
07-09-2010, 07:50 AM
Effect: Government cover up
Cause: INTJf goes down.
07-09-2010, 08:06 AM
Effect: The people nearest to all members gets punched in the arm and then yelled at
Cause: Cigarettes are deemed unsafe to humanity
07-09-2010, 08:07 AM
Effect: Various solutions developed to get people to stop smoking.. most of which don't work.
Cause: World government
07-09-2010, 08:09 AM
Effect: Mass civil conflict
Cause: All shoes are discarded
07-09-2010, 08:10 AM
Effect: Podiatry boom.
Cause: email banned
07-09-2010, 08:12 AM
Effect: Text messaging takes it place
Cause: Complete economic meltdown worldwide
07-09-2010, 08:13 AM
Effect: More sex, more babies.
cause: INTJf adopts a black skin theme
07-09-2010, 08:16 AM
Effect: Girlie giggles across the office building
Cause: INTJf becomes ESFPf
07-09-2010, 08:19 AM
Effect: Trolling and flaming.
Cause: Moderators become mature.
07-09-2010, 08:21 AM
Effect: forums become boring
Cause: China comes to collect their money
07-09-2010, 06:02 PM
Effect: Can you say..."Fucked"?
Cause: Congress gets teir shit together.
07-11-2010, 06:19 AM
effect: they pass a law exempting their own shit, and pass a tax on ours
cause: woke up in shredded, blood splattered clothes
07-11-2010, 07:02 AM
Cause: Well, it's just another Sunday morning after all.
Effect: Whining made illegal.
07-11-2010, 08:29 AM
effect: republicans release a new comedy- legally bland
cause: disposable lighters explode every time one is used
07-11-2010, 07:36 PM
effect: burnt eyebrows
cause: go to the bathroom using a broken toilet
(Dumb and Dumber happens to be on in the background! :laugh:)
07-11-2010, 09:43 PM
effect: you do that every day then you get a healthy set of good looking thighs and no constipation
cause: everyone forgives one another
07-11-2010, 09:47 PM
Effect: The Far Right finally shuts up.
Cause: Water boils.
07-12-2010, 03:03 AM
Effect: I replace the thermostat in my car.
Cause: Happiness is linked with an increased risk of cancer.
07-12-2010, 06:34 AM
Effect: We're all going to die
Cause: Water linked to cancer cure-all
07-12-2010, 09:14 AM
Effect: Government bans on personal wells.
Cause: Brawndo takes place of water
07-12-2010, 09:26 AM
Effect: stinky culture.
Cause: Beer demonstrated to prevent aging
07-12-2010, 12:11 PM
Effect: The black market price for livers skyrockets
Cause: Homeopathy is empirically proven to work
07-12-2010, 12:28 PM
Effect: Doctors explode
Cause: Robin Williams elected Prime Minister of England
07-12-2010, 03:02 PM
Effect: The English explode
Cause: The way of the samurai becomes the way of the world.
07-12-2010, 05:19 PM
Effect: We all pretend to like anime.
Cause: Humankind discovers it had wings all along.
07-13-2010, 11:46 AM
Effect: Airlines team with oil companies to stop us from using them
Cause: Mankind ascend to beings without bodies at all
07-13-2010, 04:23 PM
Effect: Congress is in an uproar trying to figure out how to tax this.
Cause: It rains for 40 days and 40 nights.
07-14-2010, 12:07 AM
Effect: Some guy named Noah builds an ark.
Cause: Oprah Winfrey drops her drawers and takes a dump right in the middle of the sound stage.
07-14-2010, 02:49 AM
Effect: Brings whole new meaning to the "Brown Note"
Cause: Dane Cook ranks #1 on list of "World's Funniest Comedians"
07-14-2010, 03:57 AM
Effect: End of days.
Cause: Communism replaces capitalism in America.
07-14-2010, 04:32 AM
The US and Cuban governments join forces to levy massive economic sanctions against those capitalist pigs in Canada.
Los Chupacabras are documented to exist, DNA samples suggest they are mankind's closest living relative.
07-14-2010, 07:25 AM
Effect: another Holy crusade
Cause: Religion motivates government
07-14-2010, 10:51 AM
Effect: all hope for world peace is lost.
Cause: Coffee no longer contains caffeine.
07-14-2010, 08:14 PM
Effect: Starbucks goes bankrupt.
Cause: Mexico annexes New Mexico, re-names it Old Mexico.
07-15-2010, 11:01 AM
Effect: All American flags are recalled to have one of the stars removed
Cause: Hydrogen powered car is perfected and sold at a reasonable price
07-15-2010, 11:51 AM
Effect: Chaos ensues when people find they don't work well if the temperature is below freezing.
Cause: Mt. St. Helens erupts again.
07-15-2010, 11:59 AM
Effect: The evacuation routes fail and lives are lost in the flames
Cause: All fountain pens around the world run out of ink at once.
07-15-2010, 12:10 PM
Effect: Everyone writes with pencils.
Cause: It is discovered that sugar will cure cancer.
07-15-2010, 12:12 PM
Effect: Everyone's teeth rots out
Cause: All prescription medication is recalled and destroyed
07-15-2010, 12:21 PM
Effect: the death rate rises sharply until the population is down to manageable numbers.
Cause: Cat food is found to be more nutritious than Campbells Soup.
07-15-2010, 12:24 PM
Effect: Campbells Cat Food Soup
Cause: Global warming was all a hoax
07-15-2010, 03:17 PM
Effect: Half the global economy collapses.
Cause: Dolphins thrive on greenhouse gasses.
07-15-2010, 03:25 PM
Effect: dolphins use the effect of global warming to finally take over as Earth's dominant species (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).
Cause: trees become sentient.
07-15-2010, 08:27 PM
Effect: Lumberjack union calls BS on the whole thing, instead accuses right wing hippie activists of spiking water supplies with LSD causing everyone to think trees have become sentient.
Cause: All celebrities across the earth spontaneously combust.
07-15-2010, 08:55 PM
Effect: Life on earth just got better.
Cause: Cats fly.
07-15-2010, 10:21 PM
Effect: Birds everywhere declare, "well that's just ****** wonderful!?"
Cause: The news media reports the Duck-billed Platypus virus has slightly inconvenienced two people in Cambodia.
07-16-2010, 12:49 AM
Effect: The virus infects everyone with Platypus Communism by means of the domino theory.
Cause: Robert Plant in a Huggies commercial.
07-16-2010, 04:09 AM
Effect: Jimmy Page feels more comfortable signing that endorsement contract with Depends.
Cause: The Pope decides he should drive the pope mobile and his driver has to stand in that stupid bubble waving at people.
07-16-2010, 11:35 AM
Effect: Headlines read; Pope's Driver Converts To Jewish After Crash
Cause: Time stands still
07-16-2010, 08:24 PM
Effect: It only last .00000000000001 seconds so nobody even knows.
Cause: Our sun goes supernova.
07-17-2010, 12:29 PM
Effect: The band Nova gets pissed.
Cause: Battle of the Bands.
07-17-2010, 01:00 PM
Effect: American Sign Language becomes lingua franca.
Cause: Fleas overtake Washington DC
07-17-2010, 04:19 PM
Effect: The monkeys in Congress spend more time grooming each other.
Cause: The entire District of Columbia is swallowed by a gigantic crack in the earth.
07-17-2010, 04:25 PM
Effect: At least six people from the forum swarm to the DC area with the intent of rescuing HappyToBeMe.
Cause: Every fast food restaurant in the USA shuts down.
07-17-2010, 07:37 PM
Effect: People learn to cook again.
Cause: Dogs cease shedding.
07-17-2010, 08:08 PM
Effect: Dogs become increasingly puffy until even Pit bulls look like Pomeranians
Cause: Profanity eliminated from the film industry.
07-17-2010, 08:48 PM
Effect: There is a burst of new creativity in film writing.
Cause: Wild animal start peering in windows like people at a zoo.
07-17-2010, 09:05 PM
Effect: They build a zoo, fill it with people and charge wild animals for admission.
Cause: Panda bears decide they don't want to eat bamboo anymore. They claim it's "like gnawing on a piece of wood."
07-17-2010, 09:16 PM
Effect: The biologist are in an uproar trying to keep the pandas from starving to death.
Cause: All the oil that spilled into the gulf disappears like it had never been.
07-17-2010, 09:28 PM
Effect: People learn nothing and do it again in a few years.
Cause: Texas breaks off to be its own country.
07-17-2010, 10:28 PM
Effect: The Independent Republic of Texas goes bankrupt paying for oil spill clean ups every few years.
Cause: The ocean is made entirely of oil and all the fishes are little internal combustion engines swimming around.
07-18-2010, 03:46 PM
Effect: BP doesn't look so bad, now.
Cause: Women grow beards and men grow tits.
07-20-2010, 11:36 AM
Effect: Children are really confused by their text books
Cause: The education system is set up to the needs of individual students
07-20-2010, 12:22 PM
Effect: No child is left behind...truely.
Cause: Everyone agrees on things.
07-20-2010, 09:19 PM
Effect: Advertising revenues go up exponentially.
Cause: There is a new civil war, this time East vs. West.
07-20-2010, 09:45 PM
Effect: California breaks free and attacks Hawaii. They're just a bit confused.
Cause: Time stops
07-20-2010, 09:57 PM
Effect: The mushrooms grant some pretty far out wishes.
Cause: Back to the Future is remade staring the guy from Twilight.
07-20-2010, 10:05 PM
Effect: Mass goes into heat.
Cause: Cooper runs for his life.
07-20-2010, 10:29 PM
Effect: Mass follows closely behind on super-fast hovering skateboard, shrieking like a banshee and brandishing a chair leg with nails stuck in it.
Cause: World's awesomest tree house built in Sequoia National Forest.
07-20-2010, 11:36 PM
Effect: Mass moves in.
Cause: Mass moved in.
07-20-2010, 11:58 PM
Effect: Mass pretty much has her dream home, actually. *sigh*
Cause: Centaurs take over New York City
07-21-2010, 12:02 AM
Effect: The streets are covered with poop.
Cause: The streets of New York are cleaner.
07-22-2010, 03:02 AM
Effect: Mass chaos as no one can even recognize the city anymore - cars crash into buildings, buildings burn, madness ensues.
Cause: The corpses of Hitler, Stalin, and Pol Pot rise from the grave and chase people around.
07-22-2010, 10:47 AM
Effect: Its Halloween!
Cause: Racism ends.
07-22-2010, 11:45 AM
Effect: Some other 'ism' inflames people.
Cause: The woodshed is full.
07-23-2010, 03:25 AM
Effect: The woodsman is satisfied, he puts his axe away.
Cause: The intensity of all experience is magnified 10000 fold.
07-23-2010, 12:19 PM
Effect: Shock sets in.
Cause: Lollipops outsell bubble gum.
07-23-2010, 12:33 PM
Effect: Dirty old men everywhere wring their hands in glee
Cause: The heat wave breaks
07-23-2010, 08:28 PM
Effect: WoodsWoman is happy.
Cause: The price of beer triples.
07-24-2010, 09:03 PM
Effect: Alcoholics and the French die out.
Cause: WoodsWoman finally makes it out of the woods.
07-24-2010, 09:40 PM
Effect: WoodsWoman is lost and confused.
Cause: All projects are finished on time.
07-24-2010, 10:02 PM
Effect: World silence
Cause: Cell phones stop working.
07-24-2010, 11:06 PM
Effect: Teenagers suffer sudden and excrutiating withdrawal symptoms for a few days
Cause: The world's oil runs out tomorrow
07-25-2010, 12:19 AM
Effect: BP finally gets the oil leak stopped.
Cause: Wyatt stops farting.
07-25-2010, 12:42 AM
Effect: The Earth's average temperature drops by 3.2 degrees over the next year
Cause: Sea levels drop by 1 m
07-25-2010, 12:45 AM
Effect: The Florida Keys aren't so fun anymore.
Cause: The world speaks one language
07-25-2010, 12:50 AM
Effect: We no longer have the language barrier to blame for cultural differences, and wars become even more bitter.
Cause: Clint Eastwood releases another Dirty Harry movie.
07-25-2010, 12:52 AM
Effect: I race to the movies
Cause: We colonise Mars
07-25-2010, 05:44 AM
effect: 2120- mars wins the world cup.
cause: Belgium fires nuke at Poland
07-25-2010, 10:24 AM
Effect: The news agencies go bonkers.
Cause: Siamese cats take over Washington D. C.
07-25-2010, 05:08 PM
Effect: The first interbreeding of cats and humans take place.
Cause: North Korea takes over China.
07-25-2010, 05:10 PM
Effect: Kim is no ronger ronery
Cause: Quality education is made affordable
07-25-2010, 05:17 PM
Effect: Everyone becomes multi-millionaires-> middle class ends-> U.S. economy goes haywire with its former middle class making a minimum yearly salary of $2 million dollars a year.
Cause: 2012: Switerzland take over the world.
07-25-2010, 08:26 PM
Effect: There is a gun in every home.
Cause: The price of liquor drops by half.
07-25-2010, 09:02 PM
Effect: Wineries and distillers go broke; moonshine makes a comeback.
Cause: Everyone on earth is suddenly and completely reasonable at all times.
07-26-2010, 04:31 AM
Effect: INTJ's lose over half of their raison d'etre, but are somehow happier
Cause: Every drug is legal in every country
07-26-2010, 07:48 AM
Effect: Crime goes down; morgues fill up; Target adds a "Narcotics" aisle (between "Hair Products" and "Toothpaste").
Cause: Someone invents an affordable car that runs on polluted air.
07-26-2010, 07:51 AM
Effect: Polluting is the new recycling.
Cause: BP CEO fakes his death.
07-26-2010, 09:00 AM
Effect: There was much rejoicing.
Cause: Government admits that it gave BP waivers to bypass safety testing
07-26-2010, 09:08 AM
Effect: In attempt to distract us and place blame elsewhere, US renews search for illusive "Weapons of Mass Destruction"; inadvertently finds CEO of BP hiding in a cave in Afghanistan.
Cause: Government admits war in Afghanistan was a mistake; begins pulling US troops.
07-26-2010, 04:15 PM
Effect: World Peace, America becomes less of the pretentious douchebags they are, and more so shamed douchebags and less hated.
Cause: Death of a Salesman
07-27-2010, 03:47 PM
Effect: France replaces America as the most powerful nation.
Cause: Communism is internationally outlawed.
07-27-2010, 04:01 PM
Effect: The right-wing goes home without their money.
Cause: Socialism takes over the world.
07-27-2010, 04:30 PM
Effect: Everyone wears beads, moccasins, and sings '70s songs. (Peace, man.) Eventually something blows up.
Cause: McDonald's is good for you.
07-27-2010, 04:48 PM
Effect: so is a BMI of 30.
07-27-2010, 06:06 PM
Effect: Aliens intercept our transmission signals
Cause: There is a blight on coffee plants across the globe
07-27-2010, 06:47 PM
Effect: Tea, anyone?
Cause: After intercepting our transmission and accepting our pleas for companionship, aliens land in Nebraska.
07-27-2010, 09:31 PM
Effect: The immigration bureau demands their papers, and when the spacemen are unable to produce the documents, the Earth is obliterated just because the aliens get irritated.
Cause: Environmental films become required viewing in schools all over the country.
07-28-2010, 12:13 AM
Effect: An enlighted society
Cause: An enlightened society
07-28-2010, 04:23 PM
Effect: Chronicled in history books as the Neo-Enlightenment Era which ushered in a time of unprecedented protection of natural resources and the innocent; followed almost immediately by the Anti-Neo-Enlightenment, wherein celebrities, having used their status to gain human rights and environmental protection, took the next logical step and began ruling the world.
Cause: Celebrities rule the world.
07-30-2010, 10:38 PM
Effect: We all get super white smiles and perfect teeth.
Cause: People open their minds.
07-30-2010, 11:45 PM
Effect: They take a look around, decide they don't like the new stuff, and close them right back up.
Cause: Doctors start making house calls again.
07-31-2010, 10:32 PM
Effect: Single women hoping to marry that doctor their mom always wanted them to are suddenly "getting sick" and "needing a house call".
Cause: The world runs out of coffee.
08-01-2010, 08:14 PM
Effect: 50% of the US population locks themselves in their homes to wait out the caffeine withdrawal.
Cause: The FBI goes rogue.
08-06-2010, 08:20 AM
Effect: Martial law goes into effect for the next 5-10 years while agents are rounded up. Citizens learn to duck gunfire in the streets; reports of identity theft increase 400%; the US military hires thousands for recon work; banks require thumb prints for all account transfers; a nation-wide moratorium is issued for all gun and ammunition sales.
Cause: All TVs worldwide inexplicably stop working.
08-06-2010, 01:05 PM
Effect: More People go on the internet. Maybe someone goes outside.
Cause: Shoes are internationally outlawed.
08-07-2010, 12:32 AM
Effect: People with a foot phobia end it all now, but a new industry is created for street sweepers and the like. Also, glass bottles are simultaneously outlawed.
Cause: A virus wipes out nearly all men on the planet, leaving a mere 100,000 to repopulate with the 3,000,000,000+ women.
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