View Full Version : Can you infer cause and effect... or are you stupid?
03-09-2010, 04:45 PM
Effect: Favorite pair of shoes
Cause: Bald dogs
Effect: Plenty of new opportunities in beachfront property!
Cause: Worldwide colorblindness!
03-10-2010, 09:17 AM
Effect: La vie en rose non plus!
Cause: Rain coming down on a sunny day.
03-10-2010, 05:27 PM
Effect: Annoyingly bright rainbows
Cause: Seal clubbing
03-10-2010, 05:48 PM
Effect: you're going straight to HELL.
Cause: Pretty flowers
03-10-2010, 05:49 PM
Effect: Disgusting allergies
Cause: Canada invades the US
03-10-2010, 05:51 PM
Effect: we're going straight to HELL.
Cause: Coffee stain.
03-11-2010, 07:52 AM
Effect: New clothing pattern
Cause : Coffee stain
03-11-2010, 04:33 PM
Effect: Someone sees the face of Jesus in it and it becomes an internet meme.
Cause: If atheists ruled the world...
03-11-2010, 04:43 PM
Effect: Christianity banned worldwide
Cause: A man falls down when trying to sit in a chair.
03-11-2010, 05:34 PM
Effect: New OSHA rules that make chairs so safe that you can't find them to sit in..
Cause: Rain and wind
Effect: Gilligan's Island
Cause: Bad Yogurt
03-14-2010, 10:44 AM
Effect: Mass hysteria at E. coli outbreak
Cause: Moral panic
03-17-2010, 02:07 PM
Effect: Coffee rush at Starbucks
Cause: Churches have a 'going out of business' sale
03-19-2010, 04:53 PM
Effect: communion wafers supplant ramen as the standard college diet
Cause: giant whale beaches itself on the West Coast of the US.
03-19-2010, 04:59 PM
Effect: More East Coast beach.
Cause: Congress actually passes a Bill.
03-19-2010, 05:17 PM
Effect: the pundits somehow find a way to complain
Cause: Futurama is cancelled again
03-19-2010, 05:49 PM
Effect: 'Back to the Future' reruns run out.
Cause: CNN goes off the air.
03-19-2010, 05:55 PM
Effect: ensuing power vacuum causes civil war to break out in Atlanta
Cause: Castro dies
03-19-2010, 06:22 PM
Effect: Good cigars become affordable.
Cause: Snow melts.
03-19-2010, 07:05 PM
Effect: Whitewater raft races on Main Street.
Cause: Women start asking men out.
03-19-2010, 11:10 PM
Effect: Viva la revolution!
Cause: Fanfiction falls to the forces of Mary Sue.
03-20-2010, 03:35 AM
Effect: Literacy rates plummet.
Cause: Underwear is outlawed.
03-20-2010, 03:39 AM
Effect: Sale of new jeans soar.
Cause: Hot dogs are the prefered meat.
03-21-2010, 08:53 AM
Effect: Everyone dies of cancerous tumors from infected rat pestilence
Cause: Everyone is vegan
03-21-2010, 09:07 AM
Effect: Everyone is self-righteous, annoying, and anemic.
Cause: Blink of an eye.
03-21-2010, 09:13 PM
Effect: Head on collision with a bee.
Cause: being late for dinner.
03-22-2010, 08:04 AM
Effect: End of a marriage.
Cause: Paper cut.
03-22-2010, 01:48 PM
Effect: Jump in ER visits.
Cause: New car sales.
03-22-2010, 07:57 PM
Effect: Used car salesmen transform into puddles of goo while yelling, "I'm melting! I'm MEELTIING!"
Cause: All the world's preachy environmentalists float away on an iceberg.
03-23-2010, 06:31 AM
Effect - the insulation industry booms
Cause - a jellybean shortage
03-23-2010, 06:44 AM
Effect - Jellybean Black Market is created
Cause - Increase in beef consumption
03-23-2010, 11:17 AM
Effect: increase in chicken/fish/pig unemployment
Cause - Increase in labor hours
03-23-2010, 12:26 PM
Effect: A nice, fat paycheck.
Cause: Water legally becomes a controlled substance.
03-23-2010, 01:35 PM
Effect: Drug companies and the government start making Pepsi.
Cause: Pot is legalized.
03-23-2010, 04:00 PM
Effect: Glenn Beck, Bill O'Reilly, and other angry conservative news commentators lose their jobs.
Cause: Humankind degenerates into an anarchistic, hunter-gatherer society.
03-23-2010, 08:23 PM
Effect: Life just got a lot better.
Cause: America gives Texas back to Mexico.
03-24-2010, 05:30 AM
Effect: America enters a time paradox where the Zimmermann note doesn't matter anymore.
Cause: Everyone embraces the principle of anarcho-capitalism and euthanizes those who cannot pull their own weight
03-24-2010, 09:00 AM
Effect: Coffin sales increase.
Cause: Dogs start talking.
03-24-2010, 08:24 PM
Effect: Everyone becomes vegan.
Cause: Beer is found to increase IQ.
03-24-2010, 09:12 PM
Effect: Drunken rednecks and alcoholics around the world are taken to be prophets of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Cause: A Flying Spaghetti Monster cult is granted tax exemption.
03-26-2010, 10:51 AM
Effect: Freedom of religion reigns on.
Cause: A slow vinegar leak develops in the cabinet under the kitchen sink.
03-26-2010, 05:04 PM
Effect: An unheralded infestation of fruit flies.
Cause: Chocolate shortage.
03-26-2010, 05:27 PM
Effect: Easter cancelled.
Cause: Hot dog shortage.
03-26-2010, 05:34 PM
Effect: Baseball season is canceled.
Cause: A chemical leak at the bleach factory.
03-26-2010, 05:59 PM
Effect: Unions regain power.
Cause: A young man talks on his cellular phone while driving.
03-26-2010, 06:31 PM
Effect: The Easter Bunny is run over
Cause : 80s music makes a huge comeback.
03-26-2010, 10:52 PM
Effect: All cats' heads simultaneously explode.
Cause: Cats are resurrected to be a part of a zombie cat army, where they will join with the Penguin Country of Antarctica and battle against the evil forces of 80's Music Fans.
03-27-2010, 04:09 PM
Effect: Straight to DVD.
Cause: March Madness.
03-27-2010, 05:18 PM
Effect: HBO and STARZ subscriptions go up.
Cause: Rugby catches on in the USA
03-28-2010, 08:25 PM
Effect: Top rugby players vie for spots on "Dancing with the Stars."
Cause: Saturn visible.
03-28-2010, 08:30 PM
Effect: Astronomers realize it was Jupiter that had the rings all this time.
Cause: The US misplaces one of its nukes.
03-28-2010, 09:44 PM
Effect: A good citizen finds it and returns it, is suspected of being a terrorist, and is never seen nor heard from again.
Cause: Neighbors blast their stereo.
03-28-2010, 10:17 PM
Effect: The "terrible-bloody-revenge" part of my brain suddenly starts working in overdrive, and all of its thoughts contain the obnoxious neighbors...
Cause: See "effect."
Effect: Double homicide. Suspect still at large.
Cause: The Instrumentality Project (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts._Instrumenta lity_Project) nears completion.
03-31-2010, 07:34 PM
Effect: Individuality, creativity, improvisation, everything else that make people unique, will cease to exist, and all INTJs commit suicide!
Cause: Barack Obama claims himself as the second coming of Christ.
03-31-2010, 08:13 PM
Effect: The Obama hate/love camps suddenly switch sides.
Cause: INTJf goes down... permanently.
04-02-2010, 08:15 AM
Effect: INTJ's who say they don't need to socialize will feel bereft and alone.
Cause: News report says that a fatty breakfast will help you lose weight.
04-02-2010, 08:41 AM
Effect: Nutritionist lynched three months later by an angry, medially overweight mob.
Cause: Worldwide vodka shortage.
04-02-2010, 07:16 PM
Effect: Russians all become tea-totalers.
Cause: World wide potato blight.
04-03-2010, 04:32 AM
Effect: "Would you like some celery sticks with that?"
Cause: Somewhere, a child is crying.
04-03-2010, 04:43 AM
effect: duct tape is a cure for all ills
cause: the wind is picking up
04-03-2010, 11:17 AM
effect: hot debate in Washington
cause: Ants begin to converge on Washington DC.
04-06-2010, 11:00 AM
effect: mass redundancies in city council's leaf removal service
cause: chink of light through curtains
04-06-2010, 12:36 PM
Effect: The President wakes up too early
Cause: He had to sleep on the couch last night (First Lady's orders).
Effect: Sore back the next day.
Cause: Not enough caffeine.
04-08-2010, 05:01 AM
Effect: lethargic reflexes lead to the multi-vehicle fatalities
Cause: carelessly signing the contract
Effect: Loss of soul and first born son.
Cause: Ultimate power.
04-08-2010, 05:10 AM
Effect: demise of liberty
Cause: accidentally grabbed the wrong woman's butt.
Effect: Either a slap, or a torrid affair... could go either way. ;D
Cause: Your favorite takeout place goes out of business.
04-08-2010, 05:28 AM
effect: 15 passenger minivan full of out-of-town bewildered expressions
cause: nail-gun double fires
Effect: ... you didn't need that other eye, did you?
Cause: A beautiful day.
04-08-2010, 05:46 AM
Effect: self castigation for preferring a PC monitor.
Cause: boss calls, "where the hell are you?"
Effect: Elaborate lie involving dogs, a broken car, and possibly a sick mother.
Cause: A dull pair of scissors.
04-08-2010, 05:57 AM
Effect: discernible splatter pattern and eventual conviction
Cause: three green wires and one blue one
Effect: Picking the wrong wire. Boom.
Cause: Laughable fashion sense.
04-08-2010, 06:10 AM
effect: shorts, penny loafers, black socks and south florida retirement communities.
cause: alcohol and a torrid romance novel
effect: Lurid dreams involving you ripping a bodice off comically.
Cause: seasonal allergies.
04-08-2010, 06:17 AM
effect: clinical psychosis that involves shoving a live cat in each nostril
cause: pure pleasure Vs. responsibility
Effect: Go to work!
Cause: Car won't start.
04-08-2010, 11:43 AM
Effect - you can't get to the PC repair shop and you go into INTJforum withdrawal.
Cause: Your car breaks fail.
Effect: I crash my car and die, mercifully ending my forum withdrawal...
Cause: house infested by rats.
04-08-2010, 11:55 AM
Effect: Large purchase of rat poison that you inadvertently use on yourself.
Cause: House infested by ants.
Effect: Ants in the pants! Oh noes!
Cause: Out of chocolate!
04-08-2010, 12:02 PM
Effect: Elaborate plans to invade Hershey PA.
Cause: Security breach at the chocolate factory.
Effect: Martial law on the Hersey Compound.
Cause: broken glasses
04-08-2010, 12:21 PM
Effect: So disoriented you can't find the optician.
Cause: Cows all die.
Cause: Goat milk in high demand! Poor buggers...
Effect: Locked out of the house.
04-08-2010, 12:27 PM
Cause: Your pet crow absconded with the keys.
Effect: Sewage backup.
Effect: Very smelly streets.
Cause: a terrible haircut.
04-08-2010, 03:52 PM
Effect: new favorite hat.
cause: one foot nailed to the ground
04-08-2010, 06:52 PM
Effect: home-made "Saw" movie as you rip your foot off
Cause: person high on drugs breaks into your home and steals your plunger
04-08-2010, 07:00 PM
Effect: 90 minutes of the most engaging mind fuck of my life. due to the drugs, the perp is easily led into all sorts of what-if scenarios; about the success of his crime, the odyssey across brazil as he escapes, the myriad uses for his plundered plunger. we smoke a joint before he finally says he has to go.
Cause: an empty tea pitcher in the fridge.
04-08-2010, 07:02 PM
Effect: a compulsion to fill said pitcher with tea
04-08-2010, 07:39 PM
Effect: Dinosaurs on Venus
Cause: Cloudy, can't see a thing!
04-08-2010, 09:23 PM
Effect: People look better.
Cause: All reality shows come to an end.
04-09-2010, 03:15 AM
Effect: Suicide rate for the tank-top, Pabst blue ribbon, nascar mullet crowd goes pandemic
Cause: INTJf goes off line for a week
04-09-2010, 05:23 AM
Effect: INTJs actually try to intermingle with society
Cause: Your chimney falls off your house and lands on your neighbor's tomato garden
04-09-2010, 05:28 AM
effect: lovely brick garden, Mrs Cleaver.
cause: bus begins to pull away as you near
04-09-2010, 05:35 AM
Effect: you call a taxi.
Cause: listening to Marilyn Manson for too long.
04-09-2010, 05:39 AM
effect: bishop asks you to remove your ipod earbuds while serving communion.
cause: seven pens in a cup, one is upside down
04-09-2010, 05:44 AM
Cause: weird orgy of sorts.
Effect: Reiven projecting his sex addiction.
04-09-2010, 05:48 AM
effect: multi lingual offspring
cause: leaky bottle of super glue
04-09-2010, 05:59 AM
Effect: fingers stuck together.
Cause: seizing the day.
04-09-2010, 06:30 AM
effect: beneficiary notified that the parachute didn't open.
cause: uncomfortable certainty you're being watched
Effect: Extreme paranoid leading to duct taping over all your windows.
Cause: A heart that's two sizes too small.
04-09-2010, 09:00 AM
Effect: three really spooky apparitions, some rattling chains, a Christmas goose, and waking up as 'giddy as a drunken man"
Cause : live worms in envelopes sent to congress
Effect: An earthy feel leading to a back-to-basics Congressional session. America benefits.
Cause: Garbage truck doesn't come this week.
04-09-2010, 06:11 PM
effect: three murders solved
cause: paint specks all over reading glasses
04-09-2010, 06:14 PM
Effect: Crazy lane changes
Cause: Sleeping dogs, wired cats
04-09-2010, 06:32 PM
effect: new Chuckie Cheese attraction
Cause: worldwide shortage of toilet paper
04-09-2010, 07:57 PM
Effect: There is a run on the corn husk market.
Cause: Glaciers advance 200 miles.
04-10-2010, 04:17 AM
Effect: Al Gore says "but wait, this is caused by global warming, i swear!..anybody wanna buy a carbon credit?"
Cause: two trees continue to grow closer to each other
04-10-2010, 02:24 PM
Effect: Tree marrige is banned by the relegious right.
Cause: Cats chase dogs
04-10-2010, 03:07 PM
Effect: dogs and cats living together...mass hysteria.
Cause: a comet hits Jupiter.
04-10-2010, 06:05 PM
Effect: Party at NASA
Cause: Radio station plays The Star Spangled Banner
04-12-2010, 09:02 PM
Effect: Boy gets A on test
Cause: He has blue eyes
04-13-2010, 08:00 AM
Effect: She blushed.
Cause: Watched a movie.
04-13-2010, 06:58 PM
Effect: Feel asleep sitting up
04-14-2010, 05:14 AM
Cause: visit to the drug store
Effect: escaped convict cutting your lawn with a pair of nail clippers
04-14-2010, 07:54 AM
Effect: convict earns $5 for his troubles.
Cause: next door neighbors having an annoyingly loud house party.
04-14-2010, 11:45 AM
Effect: His wife gets drunk and ends up in your bed. He hears her screams of ecstasy and takes a saw to your genitals.
Cause: All of the clocks in the world stop working at the exact same moment.
04-14-2010, 11:56 AM
Effect: Millions of women are convinced they've partnered with a minute man.
Cause: Microsoft announces bankruptcy.
04-14-2010, 01:00 PM
Effect: Mcdonalds buys them out. Now its McVista and McMirco
Cause: Men with not much 'meat' celibrate.
04-14-2010, 01:18 PM
Was that a Freudian typo? ;)
Effect: Public awareness is raised so latex companies create an ultra-thick and extendible, line of products.
Cause: A virus is created to destroy all hairdryers in the world.
04-14-2010, 01:25 PM
Effect: Poodles turn into lint balls.
Cause: Everyone wears sunglasses.
04-14-2010, 05:47 PM
Effect: Skin cancer goes up in blonds due to reflective burn.
Cause: Temperatures in the 20's (Fahrenheit)
04-14-2010, 05:58 PM
Effect: Bees freeze in mid sneeze. (sorry, just had to do that)
Cause: Coopers poor poetry
04-14-2010, 06:04 PM
Effect: Someone who needs a laugh gets one.
Cause: No eggs in the house.
04-15-2010, 02:16 AM
Effect: WoodsWoman cannot get pregnant.
Cause: Barney the Purple Dinosaur's costume is self-aware.
04-19-2010, 07:30 AM
Effect: the nations of the world unite to combat this new threat to humanity.
Cause: comically oversized bow ties become standard business wear.
04-19-2010, 10:06 AM
EFFECT: Polka-dot suspenders and floppy shoes hit the cover of GQ
CAUSE: White Rain hair spray goes out of business.
04-22-2010, 07:28 AM
Effect: Kids find something else to get high off of and people trying to reclaim their teenage years from the 1980s go through a major identity crisis.
Cause: Red Bull adds nicotine and heroin to the recipe.
04-22-2010, 07:34 AM
Effect: Illegal substance abuse rates go down.
Cause: Elephants become legal as household pets in the US
04-22-2010, 07:41 AM
Effect: 10,000,000 American families are now homeless, and the rate is rising at about 5.9 families per minute.
Cause: Halogen light bulbs around the world explode simultaneously.
04-22-2010, 02:48 PM
Effect: the stock price of Algore Inc goes up 22% in one day.
Cause: eyes cross and stay that way.
04-22-2010, 03:09 PM
Effect: Bars sell way less beer since there's no need for beer goggles.
Cause: Tectonic plates world-wide all shift at the same time.
04-22-2010, 03:48 PM
Effect: Nevada ocean front property values skyrocket.
Cause: substituted vodka in the water bottle
04-23-2010, 04:16 AM
Effect: Family outings become bearable.
Cause: Trapped in a car with a chatterbox for an hour.
04-23-2010, 04:42 AM
Effect: Jumping out of the car while it's still moving
Cause: Having to go #2 really badly while on a non-stop bus to the next county without plumbing.
04-23-2010, 11:08 AM
Effect: Oops, I spilled my chocolate milkshake.
Cause: Hitting the brakes very hard.
04-23-2010, 11:31 AM
Effect: Heads poking out of windshields becomes a trendy art form.
Cause: Eating is banned before 2:00 p.m.
04-23-2010, 11:35 AM
Effect: Binge eating at night.
Cause: Ninjas kidnap your family.
04-23-2010, 11:52 AM
after a 24 hour torture of relentless dry humor and dialog from almost every scene of The Holy Grail, the ninjas beg my sons to kill them, slowly if necessary, anything to finally end the pain.
One match bent over and extended from the side of the matchbook
04-24-2010, 04:11 PM
Effect: a call to Ghostbusters to investigate poltergeist activity and interference.
Cause: wearing military boots and a mohawk to school/work tomorrow.
04-24-2010, 05:54 PM
Effect: Have your neo-punk butt handed to you by a posse of neo-skinheads.
Cause: T-zone facial oil found to be excellent motor oil additive.
04-25-2010, 02:08 AM
effect: enterprising introvert invents a harness to secure extroverts to the side of domestic auto engine-blocks that will squeeze the extroverts head and extract this new and valuable liquid on an as-needed basis.
cause: tormented kid comes into school in black trench coat
04-25-2010, 07:53 PM
Effect: After much flashing, he becomes the envy of all the guys and the darling of all the girls.
Cause: All the extroverts on Earth, die from an airborne social disease.
04-26-2010, 12:11 PM
Effect: Earth becomes like Solaria (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).
Cause: Puerto Rico becomes the 51st US state.
04-26-2010, 01:53 PM
Effect: National averages for noisy conversations skyrocket.
Cause: Martians contact White House
04-28-2010, 05:56 AM
Effect: they inquire and ultimately end up taking Bush (W.) due to the White House stating he is one of their "kind".
Cause: everyone spontaneously releases their pent-up anger simultaneously on the world.
04-28-2010, 10:53 AM
Effect: WW3 occurs, lasting 3 minutes.
Cause: Massive power outage across the west coast of the US
04-28-2010, 02:30 PM
Effect: Google goes under and the fabric of time slowly unravels as Silicon Valley is now non-existent.
Cause: wearing a tinfoil hat.
04-28-2010, 06:05 PM
Effect: New fashion trend among 18 to 20 year olds.
Cause: Turbulence in the upper atmosphere.
04-28-2010, 08:26 PM
Effect: aurora (magnetic disturbance).
Cause: complete peace on Earth (as in silence) for thirty seconds.
04-28-2010, 09:16 PM
Effect: 5000 years from now, aliens from another planet start banging on their surveillance equipment trying to figure out what's wrong.
Cause: tsunami hits California
04-29-2010, 05:36 AM
Effect: CA goes into the ocean and leaves Arizona bay. (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)
Cause: Trent Reznor (Nine (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) Inch (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) Nails (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)) turns into an INFP.
04-29-2010, 09:58 AM
Effect: Nothing changes.
Cause: Barack Obama turns into an X-Acto knife.
04-29-2010, 05:56 PM
Effect: US government completely shuts down trying to figure out how that happened - and who to blame for it.
Cause: Skateboarders in the parking lot.
Effect : so they've made 'skate to work' community alongside 'bike to work (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)' one.
Cause : IPad swallowed every people that has been working on it fr more than 2,5 hours.
04-29-2010, 11:48 PM
Effect: The world's virgin statistics dropped for 2.5 hours.
Cause: All of the world's roses die simultaneously.
04-30-2010, 02:16 AM
Effect: Holland surpasses Japan in GDP because of tulip demand
Cause: a diadem is placed on the presidents head.
05-02-2010, 09:53 PM
Effect: an exact copy is placed on the First Lady's head.
Cause: the president comes down with a life-threatening illness.
05-03-2010, 02:17 AM
Effect: he is rescued by a faithful conservative, because he reigns over a great country.
cause: a broken wrist watch, 3' of duct tape, one sulphur match and a packet of apple jelly.
05-03-2010, 04:33 AM
Effect: Spring cleaning ensues.
Cause: The ram gets out of the pasture.
05-03-2010, 07:51 PM
Effect: You is in trouble.
Cause: Snow in July
05-03-2010, 08:10 PM
Effect: water for So Cal in August!
Cause: the electricity for the eastern half of the country goes out for 24 hours.
05-03-2010, 08:12 PM
Effect: All sorts of accidents due to traffic lights not working.
Cause: Gasoline prices drop a dollar.
05-03-2010, 09:04 PM
Effect: pollution increases.
Cause: the cost of natural gas goes up by 50%.
05-04-2010, 04:25 AM
Effect : dick cheney is hung in effigy
Cause: chloroform mutates and is now triggered by wind
05-04-2010, 01:00 PM
Effect: every storm leaves hundreds of dead people in it's wake.
Cause: Chocolate becomes poisonous.
05-04-2010, 01:41 PM
Effect: mass suicides, led by myself!
Cause: everyone in America suddenly acquires $5 mill each.
05-04-2010, 02:10 PM
Effect: US dollars depreciate to negative values.
Cause: Christ returns in glory to judge the living and the dead.
05-04-2010, 02:34 PM
Effect: They lock him up and throw away the key. No one can claim to be God!
Cause: They announce a 2-mile wide asteroid is on it's way to land in the middle of Africa.
05-04-2010, 04:34 PM
Effect: Everyone holds hands and sings to await their death, only to realize the telescopes were on the wrong magnification and the asteroid is really only 20 feet.
05-04-2010, 08:57 PM
Cause: Akzis forgets to list a cause at the end of his post.
05-06-2010, 05:00 AM
Effect: self-imploding thread that can only be rescued by someone else.
Cause: electronica beats are burned into your head and you can't get them out.
05-06-2010, 07:49 AM
Effect: A spaztic happy dance
Cause: World Peace
05-06-2010, 08:10 AM
Effect: human extinction
05-06-2010, 02:44 PM
Effect: Male pattern baldness
Cause: Burnt popcorn
05-06-2010, 04:20 PM
Effect: sad cheerbear :(
Cause: Waking up at 5am
05-06-2010, 05:26 PM
Effect: Male pattern baldness
Cause: Burnt popcorn
For once, glad I'm female then :p
Effect: sad cheerbear :(
Cause: Waking up at 5am
Effect: Still sad cheerbear :( (sorry)
05-06-2010, 11:32 PM
Effect: Every face a different shade.
Cause: World War III
05-08-2010, 06:10 PM
Effect: The rise of the Suburben Empire
Cause: The rise of the Suburben Empire
05-09-2010, 04:49 AM
Effect: hot rod dune buggies with bodies strapped to the grill and a 50 cal mounted over the top.
Cause: one too many subtle insults to the guy who thinks you might be insulting him.
05-09-2010, 04:57 AM
Effect: Penile piercing...with a .22
Cause: Box knives and butterflies
05-09-2010, 11:42 AM
EF: La chasse aux papillons ends in bloodshed.
CA: Superman's a Commie.
05-10-2010, 01:38 PM
Effect: Adam West comes out of the closet
Cause: nitrous oxide and a 20 horse john deere mower
05-10-2010, 02:24 PM
Effect: a long, residential-block long trail of torn grass and upturned soil.
Cause: free beer.
05-10-2010, 04:44 PM
Effect: a gnu and a penguin loose on the streets.
Cause: Snow in May.
05-12-2010, 03:09 AM
effect: Studio 54 Grand Re-Opening
cause: 14 candles burning with a scent that hooks you
05-15-2010, 05:17 PM
Effect: Cozy evening ruined by a fire hazard.
Cause: Dragons actually exist.
05-15-2010, 05:51 PM
Effect: breath mint sales increase
Cause: venetian blind with one slat turned open to see outside.
05-15-2010, 06:42 PM
Effect: Sniper bullet to the teeth. And subsequent zombification.
Cause: Me taking over the world.
05-17-2010, 04:19 PM
Effect: Everyone dies from boredom (literally) because you deliver your long-winded, extroverted monologue that no one can listen to any longer about your plans, thoughts, etc. -- make your speech shorter than six hours next time.
Cause: INTJ airsoft battle in the middle of Coloradoan woods.
05-19-2010, 10:16 AM
Effect: Famous war battle recreations that take out the state of Colorado.
Cause: Woman thinks she got pregnant by watching 3D porn
05-19-2010, 03:24 PM
Effect: Woman gets divorce for being stupid....really stupid.
Cause: Feather sales triple.
05-19-2010, 04:35 PM
Effect: Droves of angry birds rise up against humanity.
Cause: Modern science cures baldness.
05-19-2010, 05:43 PM
Effect: Hair plugs are now even funnier.
Cause: Shaved cats
05-20-2010, 05:46 AM
Effect: shaved dogs.
Cause: normal people and mentally ill people switch lives, with the normal people going to the asylum...
05-21-2010, 07:24 PM
Effect: George W. Bush and Sarah Palin begin to look even stupider than they did before.
Cause: Bad writing.
05-21-2010, 07:44 PM
E: New York Times best-seller list and critical acclaim.
C: Dead batteries.
05-23-2010, 08:51 AM
effect: unused lubricants.
cause: intentionally misusing a word
05-23-2010, 02:19 PM
effect: epidemic of wordplay and scrabble competitions
cause: The sun stops shining
05-24-2010, 03:57 AM
effect: Coppertone dominates the DJIA.
cause: one seat on the bus and you lead a pool of three walking toward it.
05-24-2010, 07:25 PM
Effect: gangs of old ladies
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Cause: drunk men with Sparklers
05-24-2010, 07:34 PM
Effect: someone's pants on fire.
Cause: Trench-coat Appreciation Day.
05-24-2010, 09:15 PM
Effect: panic in banks everywhere.
Cause: cabin fever
05-24-2010, 09:20 PM
Cause: a South American country's CDC equivalent creates "Malaria Man", a cartoon character to teach children about the dangers of malaria.
05-24-2010, 09:24 PM
Effect: parents everywhere are paranoid and seek more vaccines for their children even though they're unnecessary.
Cause: Pot and prostitution are made illegal in Amsterdam.
05-25-2010, 04:45 PM
Effect: It starts to look like America
Cause: UFOs land in London
05-26-2010, 04:02 AM
effect: orson wells is found alive among them.
cause: your dog begins to verbalize
05-26-2010, 06:01 PM
Effect: My cats get more neurotic from what they dogs tell them.
Cause: Chicken Little writes a new book.
05-27-2010, 09:12 AM
Effect: no one reads it.
Cause: reclusive cabin in the woods.
05-27-2010, 12:22 PM
Effect: MassHysteria finds several days of absolute bliss and may never go home.
Cause: The ''Elvira'' look comes back into the mainstream fashion chic.
05-27-2010, 03:01 PM
Effect: Six years olds look confused.
Cause: Men dress like Barnabus Collins.
05-28-2010, 05:35 PM
Effect: Women flock to him mistaking him for Johnny Depp.
Cause: A man hikes naked in Swiss mountains.
05-28-2010, 05:54 PM
Effect: St. Barnards look proud.
Cause: St. Barnards go missing in the Swiss mountains.
05-28-2010, 06:19 PM
Effect: Send in Bush administration to find them. Perhaps they'll get lost as well.
Cause: Chinese tech company reports 10 suicides in one year.
05-28-2010, 06:37 PM
Effect: More lead is added to the office coffee.
Cause: Everyone stops talking.
05-28-2010, 07:23 PM
Effect: Introverts everywhere are happy.
Cause: Ants get into your marshmallows.
05-28-2010, 07:24 PM
Effect: Exta protein
Cause: Cake is free.
05-28-2010, 07:27 PM
Effect: People eat it too.
Cause: Spiders gain powers of telepathy.
05-28-2010, 07:27 PM
Effect: Cooper eats too much cake.
Effect: Millions of spiders suddenly die of boredom.
Cause: The clock strikes midnight.
05-28-2010, 07:36 PM
Effect: Cats jump.
Cause: Cats jump.
05-28-2010, 07:38 PM
Effect: Cats land...usually.
Cause: Dogs jump.
05-28-2010, 07:42 PM
Effect: hysterical laughter.
Cause: Halloween falls on a full moon.
05-28-2010, 07:43 PM
Effect: Kids scream with delight.
Cause: Squirrels suddenly hate nuts.
05-28-2010, 07:48 PM
Effect: inappropriate jokes relating squirrels and human anatomy are not made anymore.
Cause: you take this song (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)to heart.
05-28-2010, 10:52 PM
Effect: My dogs jumped and started barking when it came on.
Cause: Sleeping dogs bark.
05-29-2010, 08:45 AM
Effect: It's dreaming about chasing mailmen.
Cause: Someone wakes up that sleeping dog.
05-29-2010, 11:02 AM
Effect: I put that dog to sleep.
Cause: US military replaces its rifles with newly developed Star Trek-esque laser guns.
05-29-2010, 12:51 PM
Effect: Trekkies get to live out their fantasies in real life war situations.
Cause: You dream in another language.
05-29-2010, 01:11 PM
Effect: You are subliminally able to understand Spanish films.
Cause: The entire world's supply of chocolate mysteriously vanishes.
05-29-2010, 03:08 PM
Effect: All the women on the INTJ forum have content, yet evil, grins.
Cause: Cooper mysteriously disappears.
05-29-2010, 05:51 PM
Effect: A worldwide manhunt occurs and the human race accidentally discovers an extra-dimensional ethereal plane.
Cause: Jesus comes back to earth and he is Japanese.
05-29-2010, 07:13 PM
Effect: Hollywood's biggest hit is recorded.
Cause: There is no food in the refrigerator.
05-29-2010, 07:16 PM
Effect: Weight loss begins.
Cause: Hot dogs go gourmet.
05-29-2010, 08:18 PM
Effect: The spare parts of the finest animals are squeezed into the classiest of byproduct tubes.
Cause: Everyone on Earth jumps at the exact same moment.
05-30-2010, 03:09 PM
Effect: Earthquakes destroy California, China, and Japan.
Cause: A hummingbird flies into a closed window.
05-30-2010, 03:13 PM
Effect: The window opens.
Cause: Trees bend but do not break.
05-30-2010, 03:15 PM
Effect: They are found to be rubber and are made into catapults.
Cause: Trees are rubber instead of wood.
05-30-2010, 03:19 PM
Effect: Loggers are out of work, but rubber balls are popular.
Cause: Bananas turn orange and Oranges turn yellow.
05-30-2010, 03:30 PM
Cause: Dictionaries everywhere are pulled off the shelves and edited and linguists lose their minds.
Effect: Animals develop ability to speak to humans.
05-30-2010, 03:37 PM
Cause: Toxic gas from smelly feet.
Effect: Cats fly.
05-30-2010, 05:07 PM
Effect: They eat all the pigs and birds already in the sky.
Cause: Humans cease eating animal products.
05-30-2010, 06:28 PM
Effect: Eskimos die of starvation.
Cause: Washington DC shuts down entirely.
05-30-2010, 06:46 PM
Effect: Shit finally gets done.
Cause: People mellow out.
05-30-2010, 07:04 PM
Effect: News agencies go out of business.
Cause: Cat dander cures cancer.
05-31-2010, 10:02 AM
Effect: People with allergies are screwed.
Cause: Israel decides to kill some Turkish people on boats.
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