View Full Version : once upon a time
01-04-2010, 03:31 PM
tell a continuing story with seven words at a time
There were two ways this could end,
01-04-2010, 05:08 PM
In the dog patch or in the,
(you're killing me with the the 7 words)
01-04-2010, 05:48 PM
arena of ideas. Jim preferred the former.
01-07-2010, 03:38 PM
"Why the hell did I leave the
01-07-2010, 04:53 PM
old neighborhood?" He lit a cigarette and
01-10-2010, 06:39 AM
threw it onto the wet pavement. It
01-10-2010, 07:19 AM
was a curious way to quit, but
01-12-2010, 08:05 AM
it might have worked if he could
01-12-2010, 06:06 PM
forget Las Cruces. He could still hear
01-12-2010, 07:15 PM
her grinding, grating, accusatory voice, saying, "Jim
01-12-2010, 07:47 PM
how many times do I have to
01-12-2010, 07:56 PM
tell you, cigarettes killed my uncle Lannie."
01-12-2010, 07:58 PM
He could almost picture himself in that
01-12-2010, 08:42 PM
moonlit alley in los cruces, the way
01-12-2010, 09:12 PM
he stood there on the street, just
01-12-2010, 09:13 PM
trying to decide. He reached into his
01-13-2010, 01:47 PM
jacket pocket, suddenly alarmed that there were
01-13-2010, 03:18 PM
pictures of familiar people, beaten and bloody.
01-13-2010, 03:27 PM
"What could this mean?" he wondered silently.
01-13-2010, 03:30 PM
One of the pictures was especially troubling,
01-13-2010, 03:40 PM
a large gash across the face of
01-13-2010, 03:42 PM
the man he had sworn to kill.
01-13-2010, 04:06 PM
The man who had taken her away.
01-13-2010, 05:48 PM
No. Not a man. Something else considerably
01-13-2010, 06:21 PM
He thought long but could not remember.
01-13-2010, 07:27 PM
A static pall descended over the thoughts
01-13-2010, 09:55 PM
of retribution. He knew what he had
01-14-2010, 05:32 AM
to do, he had to face the
01-14-2010, 06:26 AM
fear welling deep inside of him. Staring
01-14-2010, 09:12 AM
at the photo, he went to find
01-14-2010, 11:50 AM
the magnifying glass, there was something on
01-14-2010, 07:11 PM
the edge of the image. Blurred, indistinct
01-14-2010, 07:19 PM
almost separate. Was it a signature? Or
01-14-2010, 07:30 PM
was it a ghostly apparition, he reached
01-15-2010, 05:31 AM
his study and stared! Someone had taken
01-15-2010, 06:24 AM
the time to vacuum the study. There
01-23-2010, 08:32 AM
wasn't a thing out of place. It
01-23-2010, 09:02 AM
was pristine in its clean elegance. Everyone
01-23-2010, 09:36 AM
he could think of knew he didn't
01-23-2010, 11:57 AM
There were two ways this could end, in the dog patch or in the arena of ideas. Jim preferred the former. "Why the hell did I leave the old neighborhood?" He lit a cigarette and threw it onto the wet pavement. It was a curious way to quit, and it might have worked if he could forget Las Cruces.
He could still hear her grinding, grating, accusatory voice, saying, "Jim, how many times do I have to tell you, cigarettes killed my uncle Lannie." He could almost picture himself in that moonlit alley in los cruces, the way he stood there on the street, just trying to decide.
He reached into his jacket pocket, suddenly alarmed that there were pictures of familiar people, beaten and bloody. "What could this mean?" he wondered silently. One of the pictures was especially troubling; a large gash across the face of the man he had sworn to kill. The man who had taken her away. No. Not a man. Something else considerably He thought long but could not remember.
A static pall descended over the thoughts of retribution. He knew what he had to do, he had to face the fear welling deep inside of him. Staring at the photo, he went to find the magnifying glass, there was something on the edge of the image. Blurred, indistinct almost separate. Was it a signature? Or was it a ghostly apparition. He reached his study and stared! Someone had taken the time to vacuum the study. There wasn't a thing out of place. It was pristine in its clean elegance. Everyone he could think of knew he didn't
---------- Post added 01-23-2010 at 01:10 PM ----------
do it, but now he's being framed.
01-23-2010, 12:52 PM
He backed slowly out, touching nothing and
01-23-2010, 12:57 PM
struggling to remember where he kept it
01-26-2010, 09:51 PM
was it in the hidden space behind
01-26-2010, 10:38 PM
the antique strong box, floor tiles lifted
01-27-2010, 05:31 AM
he retrieved the ceremonial dagger. Evil would
01-27-2010, 11:33 AM
never triumph as long as he was
01-27-2010, 02:35 PM
one of the guardians. Now to get
01-27-2010, 03:00 PM
through the deep dark crevices of time.
01-27-2010, 11:11 PM
Light reflected from the dagger, glimmering brightly
01-27-2010, 11:26 PM
making her think about what she did
01-28-2010, 05:08 AM
She woke. She knew. She knew he
01-28-2010, 09:36 AM
was there, sitting alone in the shadows.
01-28-2010, 03:43 PM
Plotting unspeakable deeds, deeds of retribution and
01-29-2010, 12:35 AM
revenge. Branding the heart and soul with
01-29-2010, 06:13 AM
anger. She had to find him before
01-29-2010, 07:57 AM
he gave up and gave in. It
01-29-2010, 11:00 PM
wasn't going to be easy to do
01-30-2010, 12:19 AM
this grave task, but it had to be done.
01-30-2010, 07:00 AM
She guessed Las Cruces, and set out
01-30-2010, 08:59 AM
to find this rare but common named
02-16-2010, 08:18 PM
vista. She remembered that he once said
02-16-2010, 10:25 PM
"I told you that I was once dead".
02-17-2010, 05:13 AM
Yet he had seemed incredibly alive. Why
02-17-2010, 05:52 AM
did he torment me with his beautiful
02-17-2010, 06:10 AM
smile..? While his eyes pierced my soul
02-17-2010, 11:39 AM
I thought back to the day when
02-17-2010, 12:19 PM
all was well and good and perfect
02-17-2010, 12:35 PM
: there was love, and time, and peace.
02-17-2010, 04:06 PM
New Mexico was a two hour drive,
02-17-2010, 04:37 PM
if one could stand the blazing temperatures.
02-17-2010, 04:41 PM
Jim splashed cold water on his neck,
02-17-2010, 06:22 PM
then fell to his boney old knees
02-17-2010, 10:25 PM
He drove the two hours. When he
02-17-2010, 11:56 PM
realized that he had completely forgotten to
02-18-2010, 12:02 AM
and deciding to go through with the
02-18-2010, 12:18 AM
dastardly deed, deployed double deep deadly daggers
02-18-2010, 11:24 AM
only to have a change of heart.
02-18-2010, 11:25 AM
But, alas, it was too late, maybe
02-18-2010, 11:14 PM
, to visit that friend. Missed the exit
02-19-2010, 06:23 AM
for Los Cruces. "I have to clear
---------- Post added 02-19-2010 at 08:20 PM ----------
this thread dies in twenty posts.
to those who play with me
lets use the rest of this thread to figure out how to corporately write a cohesive story. in the next few posts lets name the end of the story, and spend the remaining posts writing it.
when we kill this thread, we start a new one on some new premise, knowing better how to write with each other from the ground up.
this is what we have so far:
on the way home he finds himself lost in thought about his old neighborhood. there is something that needs to be resolved. he was walking and suddenly stops. he was carrying pictures of people, beaten and bloody. one picture was a man whom he had disfigured. he had started something that had to be finished
he notices something at the bottom of the picture and takes it back to his desk to look more closely. he walks into his study and notices the room has been altered. he knows he is being watched , which means he is in danger. he grabs a sacred relic and takes off to loss cruces
half way across the country a woman wakes suddenly thinking of him, and and she feels the increase of the relic. she has to go to him to stop what she thinks is gonna happen.
cuts back to him- it is revealed that he died in los cruces, yet lives. he has romantic feelings for the girl but doesn't know she's coming. thinking about her, he misses his exit.
think with the end in mind.
the two people will soon come together the relic is involved with scarface.
02-19-2010, 07:45 PM
The bright sun dances off the hot pavement as he makes a sudden u-turn, heading back to the exit. He glances in the rearview mirror and spots a cab, racing toward him.
02-19-2010, 07:49 PM
The cab flashes and he pulls over. He pulls the the dagger up under his leg as the passenger of the cab comes toward him. He looks in the side view mirror and sees a woman walking cautiously toward his open window.
02-22-2010, 10:33 AM
She looks like his long lost sister.
02-22-2010, 04:57 PM
.....but upon closer inspection he realised it was her. She was as beautiful as the last time he saw her, so long ago. As she got to the window she looked at him with soulful eyes, and seemed like she wanted to speak but was too overwhelmed. She reached into her purse and pulled out a silver cross, about 6 inches long, with a hole in the centre of it.
02-28-2010, 05:57 PM
He paused to sneeze three times. She searched her purse for a tissue to offer him. He silently cursed his allergies.
02-28-2010, 06:28 PM
"do you have something for me?" he asked.
she reached through the open window and handed him a folded note. She touched his face, and her mind was overwhelmed. For so long she had waited for another chance to see him, another chance to explain.
He smiled sadly, "you know what i have to do"
She searched his eyes for what seemed like minutes.
"yes" she whispered. "Whatever else happens, kill him this time"
"is he there now?"
"i don't know", she said
"i'll find you when this is over" he said as he looked at the address on the piece of paper.
"Sure", she said as she stepped away from his car and watched him pull away.
03-01-2010, 02:36 PM
The car was a red chevy impala.
03-02-2010, 06:01 AM
It rolls up to an abandoned church and he sat there, steadying himself for what very likely would be the last day of his life.
03-02-2010, 04:04 PM
Everything leading up to this very moment was
03-03-2010, 07:58 AM
almost surreal. He got out of the car, holding the cross and note she had handed him and walked slowly towards the church. He opened the tall doors and entered. Sweat beaded on his forehead.
03-03-2010, 12:29 PM
Peering into the ominous and dust filled
03-05-2010, 11:04 AM
space, he saw something glint on the altar in the sunlight that was cascading in through a broken window. He knew what it was and walked towards it. It was a small blue stone, much like a star sapphire. He took out the cross she had given him, picked up the stone and placed it in the hole that was in the cross. It gave a "click" as he pressed it in. It fit perfectly. He held it up to the shard of sunlight, and waited.
03-05-2010, 06:06 PM
The hair stood up on the back of his neck; before he could turn around he heard that hated voice say, "I knew you would come here".
He turned to face his nemesis. "that's an ugly scar you got there, Drake. Did you piss someone off?" He had to smile as Drakes face twisted in hate.
"You always thought you were smarter than me", Drake said.
"Technically, i am smarter than you". He was watching Drakes hands for any sudden moves. Carelessness last time got him killed. Had it not been for a passing EMT and a quick shot of adrenaline in his heart, it would have ended three years ago. This time it would be different. this time it would be Drake lying on the ground.
"Look" said Drake, "give me the sword and we can each walk away from this"
"Sword?" Jim said. "you really are stupid"
"What did you say?"
"I said 'It's a dagger, and I think I can help you'"
Jim saw her enter the church behind Drake.
He said "hey, i have an idea..."
03-06-2010, 02:08 PM
"... we both know it has to end now. Lets not drag this on any further. Not even out of mutual respect, but out of unwarranted empathy." Looking behind Drake with the barest hint of a glance he watches her approach slowly and silently.
"You think I care about your petty words?" Drake says, his face twisting in an ugly sneer. "I hate you and everything that you are. The only true words that are ever uttered are words of hate and desolation and truer words have never been spoken than the words I say of my feelings for you."
03-12-2010, 10:29 PM
She pulled out a gun and turned to Drake. She looked him in the eyes. "It's loaded."
03-13-2010, 07:01 AM
"like you could pull the trigger" drake said. In one fluid motion he turned and fired his gun, hitting her in the chest. Time became slow motion for Jim and he started to leap to her side, but knew it was too late. Suddenly he found himself right back in 2007, with drake drawn down on him and himself unarmed.
"who's laughing now, smart-man?" quipped drake, relishing the moment.
Sweat gathered on Jims brow.
03-13-2010, 11:15 PM
He looked into Drake's intensely blue eyes and the connection was made in a split second. He squeezed the cross in his hand tightly and held it out to Drake. The light hit the blue stone and bright reflections ricocheted around the room. Drake cowered at the sight of it.
03-16-2010, 10:10 PM
"I'm not laughing." Jim's outstretched hand trembled.
Drake's mind fought against the hypnotic effect of the cross. He struggled to organise his thoughts. He had an idea.
Jim knew he had Drake where he wanted him, and he knew what to do, but was overwhelmed with shock and grief from seeing her killed before his eyes.
03-19-2010, 05:34 PM
Jim sneezed five times. He was not able to wipe his nose. Drake briefly thought of laughing, but was too obsessed with his idea.
03-21-2010, 03:13 PM
Drake leveled the gun at Jim's face.
Jim dropped his gaze to the young woman lying in her own blood. Suddenly his eyes went wide and in a terrified voice he said, "what the hell..." and began to move backward. As Drake turned to look, Jim made his move, plunging the sharpened base of the cross deep into Drakes heart. There was the loudest sound Jim ever heard as Drake fell backward and fired at him.
The bullet hit Jim in the cheek, and for the fleeting second he was alive it all became pointless. anything left undone, would be forever unfinished; it mattered no more.
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