Grounding

[MichaelH]

I find myself constantly fighting this nagging voice that says I should be doing more. The problem is, my time is divided between:

Teaching full-time
Some computer programming on the side
Writing
Playing music (when the P60 arrives)
Working out
Reading
Keeping up with food/housework/bills
Watching some TV (thanks to whoever recommended Death Note!)

Note socializing isn't really in that list anywhere. I frequently feel like I'm failing because I can't push on all fronts at once. No matter what I do, I'm not giving all of those things 100%. And when I take days off, because it's necessary to recover, I feel like I'm falling behind. And because I'm falling behind, I feel like a failure - things aren't getting done, and that's the worst sin for an INTJ.

A lot of the time, I feel I don't know who I am. Am I a writer who's teaching for a living? Am I teacher who programs on the side? Is music a fun hobby or a waste of time?

I'm sure I'm not the only INTJ with this problem. What keeps you grounded as a person? How do you stay happy without getting overwhelmed?

[thegnat]

edit: I'll be cool like everyone else and list my schedule with what I have to deal with:
Physical Chemistry lecture and homework/problem sets and all that fun stuff
Physics lecture etc
Economics lecture, etc
Inorganic lab, lab reports, pre-lab, analyze, data collection, notebook 3 hours + some
Physics lab, pre-lab and data and notebook 3 hours + some
Tennis-when I can - this is off season so during season 3 hour practice 5 days/week and/or matches
work out - 1.5 hours 3 times/week
keeping up on school news
I'd love to have time to read
nap to keep my mind fresh
no socialization is able to fit in there....
no horse related stuff is able to fit in there....

Oy vey I can relate - that voice is in my head too. But I need a break. Though I need it my brain still tells me I should be doing more.

The thing with me is my three main interests - chem major, horses, tennis.
I focus on academics first, then tennis cause I'm on the team, then horses (which really aren't in my priority list because I don't have enough time and there's no way in hell I have time to socialize much without getting behind).

but sometimes I wonder if I would rather be riding horses and having more time (no 3 hour practices 5 days a week or 1.5 hour fitnesses off season 3 times a week, just riding once a week). Though I'd miss tennis. And I've done it so long and I've come this far....

I don't really question who I am. Academics is my top priority. I have to focus on that. *Although* it's so damn hard to split yourself between five classes (well three lectures, two labs, the labs are very time consuming though, I'm partly working up data now) - even without extracurriculars - and split evenly. Adding tennis makes that exceptionally difficult. It takes away my remaining free time essentially.

I call tennis my anti-total nerd. Though sometimes I feel like a nerd who plays tennis and a jock who studies chemistry.

I suppose I stay happy through just tennis as a stress reliever and working out as a stress reliever. I stay happy doing the side things I like to do. I'm always in a good mood after pchem and Inorganic lab.

As for groundedness - I guess I just know that academics is my top priority and I should feel like a scientist is my first "person" I guess. I know I will never go pro in tennis, and I know horses will always be just leisure. A good part of me, but leisure in the future.

I don't know...That probably wasn't a great answer. But I split my time a lot and I don't have time to socialize or do some of the things I like even. And I always feel like I'm getting behind. But I do know I'll always get things done.

[generalowk]

Michael, I can very much relate. I've got too many irons in the fire. And this isn't even my busy season.

- Teaching full time
- Department chair duties
- Teaching extra classes in the afternoon
- Working at school sporting events
- Running a web site that needs frequent updating
- Secretary/Treasurer work for two service clubs
- Working out (running)
- Reading (my "to read" list just keeps growing)
- Moderating two forums at a large message board
- Keeping up with the bills, housework, yardwork, etc.
- Watching baseball/football on tv
- Catching up on films/dvds
- Keeping up with new music
- Pretending to have something resembling a social life

I guess I try to stay grounded by my exercise and reading/music, but I frequently find I'm coming up short of time for these things.

[MichaelH]

Thanks everyone. Since others are having the same problem, it helps to know I'm not just too dumb to see the solution.

Seeing these responses reminds me of an article on the brilliant bipolar mind:

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"He can see far; further than in fact his strength allows him to travel."

I think that's the downside of being an INTJ. We see achievable possibilities that others miss. I really wish I had four lifetimes to pursue the possibilities I see!

[vulcan]

I call tennis my anti-total nerd. Though sometimes I feel like a nerd who plays tennis and a jock who studies chemistry.

I suppose I stay happy through just tennis as a stress reliever and working out as a stress reliever. I stay happy doing the side things I like to do.


I know exactly what you mean. I was a swimmer for all four years of HS and tried some cross country too. Both are pretty solitary sports, but they were great stress relievers and helped me feel like less of a nerd.

I always call myself a closet nerd. I'm sure people can spot me as a nerd from 100 miles away, but I don't reveal my vast knowledge of nerd-shit to strangers.

I've stopped working out after getting out of ROTC so I'm pretty fucking fat now. Well, not ripped anyway. I need to get back into it.

[thegnat]

I call tennis my anti-total nerd. Though sometimes I feel like a nerd who plays tennis and a jock who studies chemistry.

I suppose I stay happy through just tennis as a stress reliever and working out as a stress reliever. I stay happy doing the side things I like to do.


I know exactly what you mean. I was a swimmer for all four years of HS and tried some cross country too. Both are pretty solitary sports, but they were great stress relievers and helped me feel like less of a nerd.

I always call myself a closet nerd. I'm sure people can spot me as a nerd from 100 miles away, but I don't reveal my vast knowledge of nerd-shit to strangers.

I've stopped working out after getting out of ROTC so I'm pretty fucking fat now. Well, not ripped anyway. I need to get back into it.

Yeah and especially now when I'm living (practically) half the time in the science quad...

Yeah I'm the exact same way.

Working out helps stress relieve, releases endorphins...It's always hard to start back though. It's the whole motivation thing and habit thing...