"Old Soul"

[Mericrat]

Ever since i was very little, i've felt separate from other people my age. i'd make insights about the world around me and no one really got me. I dicovered meditation on my own, when i was seven. i tried to teach my friends and they just fell asleep, but no matter how lonely i felt with my own age group there was always an older generation to tell me how wise and beyond my years, i was.

As i got older i found there were more people i couldn't relate to and less that appreciated my view on people and the world, but as long as i had the older generation, i knew that there wasn't something wrong with me. i was just a little ahead of my peers.

When i hit about twenty. I was ostracized from just about everybody and practically no one appreciated my perspective. Not that i needed this as emotional support but it was comforting from the intellectual perspective of credibility. i thought about it for a while and came to three possibilities.

1.) i had taken that fateful five degree turn from wisdom to insanity.
2.) at my young age i had already ventured further than most have the capacity to follow.
3.) i have ventured into areas that people subconsciously avoided because it was uncomfortable.

I don't really like any of these scenarios. I'm not expecting an answer. i was just wondering if anybody else can relate to this: Am I wrong, or so far in the minority my insights will inevitably fall on deaf ears?

Edit: a fourth possibility just a occured to me. People know i'm right but i come off as a pretentious douche so they don't want to admit it.

[Silverity]

I don't think I can judge this without having an example of what some of these insights are. It is possible you're simply more mature than your peers or haven't found a niche of like minded people, or it could be something else. Could you please elaborate?

[Mericrat]

well as i said. i didn't expect you to be able to deduce which one of these scenarios applied to me. even if I gave you an example, it wouldn't have enough bearing on my entire life. i was just asking if you have felt the same way. maybe you have stories from your life that have parallels to my experiences. i didn't open this topic to talk about myself. i could do that to a wall. i was looking for perspective, not guidance.

It's not that i'm not appreciative, of your interest. i'm just trying to be clear on my intentions.

[Silverity]

My perspective is you're hanging with the wrong people then. *shrug* I don't relate to my age-range peers, but I don't choose to hang out with them either so it's not an issue for me.

[Blse]

Oh, I've never been typical or my age and don't relate well to folks my age either (although that's starting to change now, as we age and mature). I've often been told that I'm "like a 40 year old." I don't make a screct of it. The at-times wildly uncertain lifestyle of the typical young person doesn't appeal to me, and since I don't have to, I don't live it. To me, it's a positive though. People, including those my age, usually respect me for being mature, professional, having my stuff together, being successful and knowledgable. It actually helpds me stand out from the crowd in a positive way among people my age, and I usually get along with authority figures splendidly.

So in sum, I can relate to being ahead of your age in terms of behavior and attitudes, but I cannot relate to experiencing that as a negative. Then again, I don't hang around campus. I go there, take care of business, talk a little with folks who approach me or with whom I have bussiness with, facilitate discussions, and I'm back home. I also dress in business casual which, I suppose, sends a certain signal. I'm happy with that arrangement.

That's my advice on how to deal with people: If they like you, great! If not, deal with them professionally until your business with them is finished and ignore them otherwise.

[plushbug]

Speaking as a 50+ who from about age 11 tended to register as 5-10 years older than chrono age in the eyes of the adults around me--in my teens took a lot of abuse from my peers for it, and by early '20s basically found anything more than [polite-acquaintance | co-worker | professional-colleague ] relationships with peers to be either totally infeasible or not worth the effort--I would offer an off-the-cuff bet that you're facing possibility (2) with a possible side order of (3). Not likely (1) given you're open-minded enough to consider the possibility.

Having recognized based on my own experience that my problem ended up being (2) with occasional flashes of (3)...bottom line is that we are rare birds, and it isn't always comfortable, but in the end nothing beats being oneself.

[vash]

Ever since i was very little, i've felt separate from other people my age. i'd make insights about the world around me and no one really got me. I dicovered meditation on my own, when i was seven. i tried to teach my friends and they just fell asleep, but no matter how lonely i felt with my own age group there was always an older generation to tell me how wise and beyond my years, i was.

As i got older i found there were more people i couldn't relate to and less that appreciated my view on people and the world, but as long as i had the older generation, i knew that there wasn't something wrong with me. i was just a little ahead of my peers.

When i hit about twenty. I was ostracized from just about everybody and practically no one appreciated my perspective. Not that i needed this as emotional support but it was comforting from the intellectual perspective of credibility. i thought about it for a while and came to three possibilities.
I understand completely. My experiences were not exactly the same, but they were close enough.
1.) i had taken that fateful five degree turn from wisdom to insanity.
Never thought this. I was, however, convinced that the rest of the world was crazy. It is said that crazy people often believe this, but Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventure in Wonderland" and "Through the Looking Glass" helped me understand that the world could indeed be crazy. They remain favorites to this day and, every time I reread them, I see more of the insanity in which we live.
2.) at my young age i had already ventured further than most have the capacity to follow.
This was definitely true in my case. I am not sure others do not have the capacity; they are just too busy living "inside the box" and coloring in the lines. Conformity damages many people's abilities.
3.) i have ventured into areas that people subconsciously avoided because it was uncomfortable.
Again, this is a result of conformity to mediocrity.
I don't really like any of these scenarios. I'm not expecting an answer. i was just wondering if anybody else can relate to this: Am I wrong, or so far in the minority my insights will inevitably fall on deaf ears?
Yes, I can relate. But there is good news. I seem to have this "reverse aging" thing: as I get older, I become younger in my approach to life. I no longer have the weight of the world on my shoulders, so to speak. I think the early awareness allowed me to see beyond the bs, and make decisions that are personally fulfilling and rewarding.
Edit: a fourth possibility just a occured to me. People know i'm right but i come off as a pretentious douche so they don't want to admit it.
Maybe. If your situation turns out like mine, you will find that many of them truly believe that you are wrong, and time will show them the opposite. It's a good feeling when that time arrives.

[gestalt]

Mericrat, I thought this was heartening.


The Four Agreements are:

1. Be Impeccable with your Word: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the Word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your Word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.

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[dmouth11]

When I was born and was brought out into the waiting room of the hospital, my great grandmother's sister (who was about 98 at the time) took one look at me and said "He's been here before" and that I had an "Old Soul."

I've always felt more comfortable and less awkward around adults and my mom (a playful INFP) told me that when I was a kid I was basically a middle aged man in a child's body. Even now in college I'm able to connect to professors and faculty better than my peers, simply because I have no desire to get trashed on cheap beer several nights a week.

Is this lifelong maturity an INTJ thing?

[gestalt]

Same old ideas in Hinduism and Jewish reincarnation (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) <--- Great Story about the Baal Shem Tov! (Tzadiks (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)).

[sunlover]

Comes with being an INTJ. We mature quicker intellectually than most.

[jndiii]

Comes with being an INTJ. We mature quicker intellectually than most.

And slower emotionally, which is how we lose connection with other people around us.

[Billy Cox]

As a child (in years only), I had few friends my own age. Even now, in my early thirties, I'm still waiting for many of my peers to mature intellectually. It was a sad realization when I came to the understanding that most of them will never make the transition.

I've always gotten along splendidly with folks who are/were 1-3 generations my elder. My oldest friends started dropping like flies before I had reached double digits myself! For those of us who have always had older friends, what's to happen when they're all gone? Making younger friends is the antithesis of the ideal, but what if we're stranded at the top of the geriatric heap with only our age group and younger generations to deal with? Will this be the time when our remaining peers will come to us, resplendent with nasal oxygen hoses and bed sores, and say, "Remember what you said at recess back in '87? I've taken some time to think about it. I guess you were right."? That really won't be enough, for we already knew we were correct.

[catzmeow]

My daughter is the old soul in my family, she was born being mature, responsible, intelligent, and wiser than her peers. I know she finds her peers annoying at times.

The other day, we were driving to her school, and some girls were crossing the street clad (imo) like young prostitutes. My daughter and I had the same thought, at the same time, and looked at one another. She read my expression, and said, "Mom...sometimes I despair of my generation."

I'm the opposite. I've worked with teenagers and teen programs since my early 20s, and I really like her peers, they constantly make me laugh and almost never get on my nerves. It's the women in my own age group who, for the most part, get on my last goddamn nerve with their silly posturing and pretensions.

:shrug:

[mormeguil]

My guess would be that we don't have a tendency to see things from granted, but are so out of touch with our emotions we have a hard time understanding WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE EFFICIENT AND UNDERSTAND HOW THINGS WORK?!.

The truth is, when you don't need it, is it really worth all the trouble? Do you really want to do all this thinking instead of all this feeling? Most people answer no. When you finally understand thats it's all right to answer no then everything seems to become clear.

[mrStevens]

And slower emotionally, which is how we lose connection with other people around us.
Good point. It think there is the danger of ignoring your emotional growth. Getting too wrapped up in your thoughts leads to knowledge without wisdom. Wisdom requires getting out there and experiencing life. Learning to really listen to the craziness and make some sense of it instead of feeling above everything and not wanting to get your hands dirty.

For those of us who have always had older friends, what's to happen when they're all gone? Making younger friends is the antithesis of the ideal, but what if we're stranded at the top of the geriatric heap with only our age group and younger generations to deal with? Will this be the time when our remaining peers will come to us, resplendent with nasal oxygen hoses and bed sores, and say, "Remember what you said at recess back in '87? I've taken some time to think about it. I guess you were right."? That really won't be enough, for we already knew we were correct.
Your circle is incomplete as you've described it. In your example, you need to become the "older friend" to the young. It will be your turn to pass on your wisdom to them, not trading stories with people your age. They have lived their lives, it is time to pass on the torch.

When i hit about twenty. I was ostracized from just about everybody and practically no one appreciated my perspective. Not that i needed this as emotional support but it was comforting from the intellectual perspective of credibility. i thought about it for a while and came to three possibilities.
In both examples, the significant point is the resistance or inability to pass on knowledge and wisdom to others. If you know something that can help, learn how to pass it on. Sun Tzu said, "If words of command are not clear and distinct, if orders are not thoroughly understood, the general is to blame."

If you master this and you are still not understood then the men are to blame. You can then execute them. ;)

[Cesare Borgia]

You know what it could be? If you are like me then you have done it all and seen it all before you were legally supposed to even do it in the first place, by the age of 21 i was already burned out on the party scene and less that interested in having friends, it's like a no win situation and i will explain this.

When i was in grade school i had no desire to pursue an education and this lasted all the way until i dropped out of the 9th grade in search of better things, i spent my days living in the moment doing anything i wanted to do, legal or otherwise, i ran with bad dudes and was in general one of them Bad Guys myself, after some time i became tired of being this wild ass thug and it just started to drain me feeling like i was only going through the motions, i was 19 at that point but i still tried to hold onto that life for a couple more years since it was all i knew.

After a while it got to the point where i just threw my hands up and retreated into solitude, i cut ties with everybody i knew, i put down the weed, stopped drinking then got an honest full time job and began supporting my mother, father and brother and sister, i literately grew up and became a man overnight, that was at the age of 21, now i am 24 and feel like an old man who seen it all over his lifetime, like the guy who sits in the rocking chair talking about the events he seen unfold over the years, like i have come full circle and lived the equivalent of 75 years in only 24 years.

people often comment about how i talk about life in the past tense like i have not got much time left, like i am reflecting on a life already lived.

[Billy Cox]

You know what it could be? If you are like me then you have done it all and seen it all before you were legally supposed to even do it in the first place, by the age of 21 i was already burned out on the party scene and less that interested in having friends, it's like a no win situation and i will explain this.

When i was in grade school i had no desire to pursue an education and this lasted all the way until i dropped out of the 9th grade in search of better things, i spent my days living in the moment doing anything i wanted to do, legal or otherwise, i ran with bad dudes and was in general one of them Bad Guys myself, after some time i became tired of being this wild ass thug and it just started to drain me feeling like i was only going through the motions, i was 19 at that point but i still tried to hold onto that life for a couple more years since it was all i knew.

After a while it got to the point where i just threw my hands up and retreated into solitude, i cut ties with everybody i knew, i put down the weed, stopped drinking then got an honest full time job and began supporting my mother, father and brother and sister, i literately grew up and became a man overnight, that was at the age of 21, now i am 24 and feel like an old man who seen it all over his lifetime, like the guy who sits in the rocking chair talking about the events he seen unfold over the years, like i have come full circle and lived the equivalent of 75 years in only 24 years.

people often comment about how i talk about life in the past tense like i have not got much time left, like i am reflecting on a life already lived.

That's a huge part of it, my friend. You nailed it on the head. Outside of the "thug" aspects (and the fact that I did graduate high school), my life has been much the same. I've always used the line, "I lived the lives of three men before I hit 25". It's actually extremely eerie that you employed the very same math in describing your past! Outside of one quest, I have no major goals left; those things were all accomplished in my aged infancy.

[Zhen]

+1. affectionately known to some as "grandma"...just still waiting for the exterior to catch up to not seem so incongruent.

I think it is interesting how old souls seem to have a childlike quality to them-have you noticed this? I guess this would reflect the circular nature of life.

[Billy Cox]

+1. affectionately known to some as "grandma"...just still waiting for the exterior to catch up to not seem so incongruent.


I was labelled "Old Man in a Young Man's Body", subsequently abbreviated to "Old Man".

I think it is interesting how old souls seem to have a childlike quality to them-have you noticed this? I guess this would reflect the circular nature of life.

Perhaps. I've noticed it, too, and in regards to my own case, it's been the basis of an extended love-hate relationship. Maybe it just appears that way to ourselves and others when we're caught off guard in a blip of immature action. It's neither expected from us or by us, so it consequently sticks out like Nixon's nose.

[NoOne]

There are two primitive categories of psychology, therefore two distinct types of human's.

One can destroy themselves by being what they are not, or resign to the difference and develop it.

If one chooses to develop themselves, then I suggest Lucid Dreaming and a very indepth study of Plato. Might try Euclidean Geometry also.

It takes a great deal of time to develope if you are a rare type, or the shorter path is self-denial with the consequence of true insanity brought on by trying to be what one is not.

The logic of it follows this way. Is human psychology something or nothing? It is something. We learn from elementary set theory, among other places, that there are two ways to construct a thing, add material to a form or apply a form to some material. Enumeration or definition. Enumeration is to the psychology that relies on memory, ie. by rote, and Definition, those psychological types that function through definition, judgment.

So, the last is rare, and one must then set themselves to learning what truth is, the foundation of language and judgment. The sources I mentioned should suffice for a start.

[Bene Gesserit]

I understand completely and Yes, I can relate.

- I am convinced that the most of the world is crazy
- Even now i had ventured further than most arround me have the capacity to follow
- I've never been typical fore my age
- I often fell lonely, in the concept of not having anyone arround me, who gets my thogts
- I have always been driven to be efficient, and want to know how things work, wich drive others arround me creacy. I have often got " You dont have to understand how it works, just do it. Wich ofcurse drives me creacy.
- But unfortanely I have spend most of my life trying to be like others want me to bee. And became more and more angry because of it.

there is a lot more points I can realate to, like being a old soul from the start, and so on.

Soo well bespite off all, we fight and lern to "live" in a creasy world ;-)

[sunlover]

I understand completely and Yes, I can relate.

- I am convinced that the most of the world is crazy
- Even now i had ventured further than most arround me have the capacity to follow
- I've never been typical fore my age
- I often fell lonely, in the concept of not having anyone arround me, who gets my thogts
- I have always been driven to be efficient, and want to know how things work, wich drive others arround me creacy. I have often got " You dont have to understand how it works, just do it. Wich ofcurse drives me creacy.
- But unfortanely I have spend most of my life trying to be like others want me to bee. And became more and more angry because of it.

there is a lot more points I can realate to, like being a old soul from the start, and so on.

Soo well bespite off all, we fight and lern to "live" in a creasy world ;-)

Or you can just accept that there are primarily 16 different ways of /perceiving/understanding/relating to the world around all of us. We INTJ's tend to feel a little odder than most as we make up a very small % of the population. Truth is INTP's, ENTP's & INFJ's have many of the same life long issues as they too are quite rare types.

[whitey]

1.) i had taken that fateful five degree turn from wisdom to insanity.
2.) at my young age i had already ventured further than most have the capacity to follow.
3.) i have ventured into areas that people subconsciously avoided because it was uncomfortable.

I don't really like any of these scenarios. I'm not expecting an answer. i was just wondering if anybody else can relate to this: Am I wrong, or so far in the minority my insights will inevitably fall on

Join the club bro. My mom and aunts would always say that I was too serious, still do. At this point in life, I just tell them I'm making up for the lazy asses and cowards who don't want to know about reality because they might have to do something about it. It's a heavy load but screw it, I like challenges and most adults are no different than little children in terms of their thinking and innocence. I've got my niche and they have theirs. I understand what it probably was like for certain scholars who had to be surrounded by the unthinking and unlearned. You just have to get used to the fact that most people are not now, nor will they ever be, capable of the level of complex thinking that you exhibit. I would warn against arrogance though. Becoming arrogant over these skills will lead to a severe warping of your objectivity in assessments.

Your fourth note has definitely happened to me. When I was an awkward adolescent, just starting to get over the adrenaline rushes of conversing with females, I had one girl tell me flat out, "You're not like I initially thought you were.". The only thing that I could think of was that she thought I was arrogant. I found out a few years later from one of my friends that knew her better that she really liked me. I think careful presentation of suggestions and ideas to others can help remove the impression that we are arrogant (especially for those of us who try not to be).

---------- Post added 11-26-2009 at 04:52 PM ----------


Is this lifelong maturity an INTJ thing?

I definitely think so. I've always been told that I'm too serious. My brother is an INTJ also. He's the same way. My mom is always saying "relax" when I'm not tense or uptight. I have at least one cousin who is really serious and I think she's some sort of xntj. I'm going to pass on the MBTI test to her the next time I talk to her.

---------- Post added 11-26-2009 at 05:01 PM ----------


The other day, we were driving to her school, and some girls were crossing the street clad (imo) like young prostitutes. My daughter and I had the same thought, at the same time, and looked at one another. She read my expression, and said, "Mom...sometimes I despair of my generation."


This gives me hope. When I was last able to walk my dogs girls that were 12-14 were having an outdoor birthday party w/ a dj. They were all singing along to some terrible lyrics and all I could think is that the next generation is f'd because they're being conditioned to behave like primitive little animals. While I may be agnostic myself I'd sure rather see those same children in a church or some sort of character building program. Even in college these days girls are advertising themselves with thongs hanging out. How f'ing tacky imho.

BTW, good parenting on your part.;)

[MartinH]

I understand completely and Yes, I can relate.

- I am convinced that the most of the world is crazy
- Even now i had ventured further than most arround me have the capacity to follow
- I've never been typical fore my age
- I often fell lonely, in the concept of not having anyone arround me, who gets my thogts
- I have always been driven to be efficient, and want to know how things work, wich drive others arround me creacy. I have often got " You dont have to understand how it works, just do it. Wich ofcurse drives me creacy.
- But unfortanely I have spend most of my life trying to be like others want me to bee. And became more and more angry because of it.

there is a lot more points I can realate to, like being a old soul from the start, and so on.

Soo well bespite off all, we fight and lern to "live" in a creasy world ;-)

I stopped counting the number of times I've been told I'm and "Old Soul", but I did start asking how old, to the people who believed in reincarnation - turned out for one of the 15 times was a lot, for the other it was about 2000...

I don't think this is necessarily an INTJ thing, although INTJ's seem to have a hard time fitting in anyway, so the two in combination must be hard. I like the format you used, so I'll copy it:

- I'm convinced that the world isn't crazy - studying anthropology has brought me around to the idea that there's a reason behind any crazy seeming behaviour and it's often very subtle then blindingly obvious once you know it. The world is however very mixed with at least as much dark as light.
- I've always ventured further in a different direction to most people, not a matter of capacity I think, but of inclination. I find hard questions interesting and bald answers to them unlikely.
- I don't really believe in typical for my age, but I'm not *very* into generalisations.
- I've always felt *alone*, but not lonely. In a sort of "every one dies alone" sort of way, but all the time - I suspect this is normal, or near normal.
- I want to know how things work, but mainly things like consciousness, and time. This can drive others to bemusement, so I don't talk about it very much. I think about it a lot though, and collect data/experiences.
- I've spent much of my life wanting others to want to be like me. Apparently this is kind of an ENFP thing... :)

The point of being an old soul, I think, is that you arrived experienced, there's no need to fight the world but you do have to relearn it. Some days it even feels like relearning it.

[Macka]

And slower emotionally, which is how we lose connection with other people around us.

Wow. This is so true. I never thought of maturing faster intellectually being the trade off to maturing slower emotionally. That does make sense to me, especially given people call me 'wise' and things like that when it comes to me helping with their problems (mostly easy when it's not your problem).

However, some of those same people see the complete emotional mess I am sometimes :)

[Evangelist]

I have always been about ten years older than most of my peers. When I was twenty I alwasy attracted men who were thirty. Right now, young men talk to me, yet I am just not on the level to be attracted to them. Right now, I am thirty-eight and I feel like I am forty-five. I think the mistakes in mentality that other people my age have made, they made because they were not able to see the insight. They were not able to connect point "A" to point "F" without going through point "B" through "E".

Case in point. A friend of mine married someone who was married before. I was aware that marriage failures are never really the fault of one person. You have to be objective enough to know that there is another side. My friend married and found out that there was something they were supposed to be looking at, but they were busy rescuing the partner from the other. My insight slows me down to look at that when others who are just looking for love run in where angels fear to tred.

[Thales]

Comes with being an INTJ. We mature quicker intellectually than most.
And slower emotionally, which is how we lose connection with other people around us.

Yes, this is far too true. It was and usually still is unbearable to be with the majority of the folks in my age group because they still give the impression that they are still much too immature and emotional for my tastes. Some I notice are so emotional that they could truly be insulted and profoundly hurt by mere words(I cannot grasp how such things could affect you), and others do some of the most juvenile things. I have often times been described as emotionless, cold, heartless, etc. Though I would not disagree that I do give that type of vibe, but I do not care if the masses do not approve of such things. (Some try to convince me that it is just not right to act that way and that I should just conform.) I find that I am almost always uncomfortable with people around my age, and much more comfortable with those who are ten or more years older than I. Normally the scenarios are the person and I both sitting outside and enjoying the day (cold or warm; it does not matter) and having some good ‘ole sixties rock playing in the background and potentially a conversation will come up every now and then. (I believe that a silent conversation is the greatest type of conversation to have.)

On the topic of being an "Old Soul" I was and am still considered to be greatly mature for my age, and often times too serious by my family. While talking to others online on things such as instant messengers or VOIP programs (MSN, Ventrilo, TeamSpeak, etc) some would attempt and guess my age and are always ten to fifteen years off and sometimes even as far as twenty-five to thirty years off. Though, as I age, I have began to notice that I seem to be loosening up a bit more and not as serious as I have been; I guess my mental aging process is going backwards. Referring to what mrStevens said, "Getting too wrapped up in your thoughts leads to knowledge without wisdom," I believe that I have began to notice that I have potentially thought about and heard much too many stories about various things that can happen to life, and from there understood the morals, etc of them, but I have yet to go out there and actually experience them. I believe that this is my next step in life.

[introspective]

I think there is an option #5. You could probably stand to improve your communication skills to better convey your ideas and perspective to people who think differently. I have felt similarly to you at various points in my life.

I do mortgage phone sales for a living currently, so it has forced me to improve how I communicate with others. It is easy to feel alone, isolated and rejected, but working on your ability to communicate your inner vision in a way that makes sense to others will yield much more happiness for you.

As much as we don't value emotions and value logic, we as INTJs are "hypersensitive to rejection" from those we care about. I sense that there is some element of this in your concerns and feelings of isolation. If you take the time to learn more about your "friends," their motivations and behaviors, you can find ways to fit your ideas into their existing limited mental framework and to expand it.

I actually have tested nearly all my coworkers and management. By understanding them on a deeper level, I can communicate my ideas and have gotten many of them implemented. It also doesn't hurt that I have befriended an ENTJ whose successes I can emulate. I find quite a bit of gratification in being able to convey my ideas effectively.