Only Children

[SeaCzar]

I am wondering how many of my fellow INTJs out there are only children. I am an only child, the only grand child (on Dad's side) and the youngest grand child (on Mom's side). Needless to say, I was pretty spoilt growing up, but I think this contributes to my being I and N.

Thoughts/comments?!?

[Jgib5328]

I am wondering how many of my fellow INTJs out there are only children. I am an only child, the only grand child (on Dad's side) and the youngest grand child (on Mom's side). Needless to say, I was pretty spoilt growing up, but I think this contributes to my being I and N.

Thoughts/comments?!?

I am an only child. My god have I been spoiled. When my grandparents give the grandchildren gifts, they sort of divide what I get between the different families e.g my two cousins from my mother's sister would get half of what I get (ahahah). Also my aunt's and uncles would sort of split it up like that too. Plus my mother could never really deny me.

It definitely led me to develop the I and N. I didn't grow up with my father, so it was just me and my mom. My mom was always lenient so I got the idea that I could do whatever I want by myself (independence). I also learned to live independently and isolated at some points, since I was home by myself a lot. I developed my N because I had to figure things out for myself. I was a huge troublemaker in middle school, but then I realized that I would never be successful going down this path. So I changed myself from being a loser into a winner. I picked my grades up and got into a really good college. My N was also well developed because I was forced to interpret the world through my own eyes instead of having two parents tell me it.

The end result is a fiercely independent soul who has his own unique outlook on the world and doesn't take shit from anyone, hell bent on success.

[Nyiah]

Yep I'm an only child too. I didn't realize there was a strong correlation between INTJ and only-children. That's neat. Yep I agree with the two above post. I'm fairly independent. I can't stand living with other people. Need my own space. Don't take shit. Can entertain myself easily.

I wouldn't mind a sibling though...

[ssfanatic]

Im an only child and only grand child on my dad's side. Im from a long line of male only children. Four generations to be exact. Coincidentally, we all act pretty much the same, IxTJ.

[dandylion]

I have two brothers and two sisters, all of whom are older than me by 7-10 years. The brothers and sisters were into their two separate worlds, of course, and I was always the third wheel.

One of my brothers is definitely an INTJ; he's so quiet--his voice is always really low--and he never laughs out loud at anything... except for this one time where I showed him a video of a guy playing Super Mario and failing miserably. I'm not sure about my other brother, but he seems pretty introverted and emotionless.

[Headstrong]

I am an only child. As others have said, independence, self-reliance, and need for space pertain to me as well.

[Staralfur]

I'm an only child too - I agree with Nyiah, I could not stand with living with anyone else besides my boyfriend.

Atm I'm living at home with my dad and he gets on my nerves so much but I have my own bathroom, big bedroom with my comp & tv so I can bear it. It's definitely better than having a roommate or living in a dorm, it's one reason I decided to just go to the state college 5 minutes away from my house. At the same time I can't wait to move out when my boyfriend and I can afford our own place.

My dad wasn't much of a "caring, loving" father and so we're pretty distant, and I was pretty independent growing up. I made basically all of my own decisions regarding school and such. We never discuss my social life either.

[integratedvelocity]

I'm am ... the youngest child! My sister is 6 years older than me and is an INTJ also. My older brother is probably an INFP. My mother and father are ISxJ and INTJ, respectively. My siblings were old enough, however, that I am an only child in many ways, such as being independent, perfectionistic, etc.

[Richard0612]

I am an only child and wouldn't have it any other way [not that I would have ever known any different had I not been one]. I need my space, and I get it! My entire family seem to be xxTJ [I'm one of the only Ns though] except for an aunt and my only cousin. They both seem to be xxFP, so most people in our family have some trouble relating to them, although we do try.

[MadmanMSU]

I'm an only child as well. Kind of a creepy correlation. Interesting though.

[Staralfur]

I think a poll on the thread would serve well to actually see what percentage of posters are only child vs. 1 sibling, 2 sibs, 3+ etc. :)

[Santana28]

only child here as well.

contrary to popular belief, i was NOT spoiled, and i actually liked growing up alone. having a sibling to beat up might have been fun, but i liked my solitude.

[Antares]

I'm the only child, the oldest cousin (of 4) on my mom's side and the youngest and the second on my dad's side. I see my maternal cousins a lot, and I'm very close to the older two, and they are like my brothers. The younger one is only two months old. I lived with my two older maternal cousins before, in the same house before the third was born, and I was a little reluctant to leave; I've gotten used to having them around, even if they can be a nuisance sometimes. The oldest cousin and I look alike, and we are only half a year apart; and if I tell people that we're twins, they'd believe me.

I've been a 'big sister' to my second oldest cousin, and have been a bad one too. He is always under the impression that I hate him, but because he was so spoilt as the youngest for years, he used to hit his brother and I whenever he felt like it; and we would take the blame. We get along much better now and I actually like having him as a 'little brother', even though he is too young to lead intellectual conversations with (9). He still thinks I hate him though and constantly asks me if I do 0___o but he sees me as a sister.

I'd want siblings sometimes, but most of the time, I'd prefer to be the only child. My parents do spoil me, and they personally want another child, but when I was young, I protested against it (I don't think most parents ask their children's opinion on a sibling, but my parents did), and because I've always had my way, they didn't have another one. Now that I'm more independent, mature and open-minded about kids, they regret listening to me (they are too old to try for another one) as I was young, because I'd probably grow to love my brother/sister anyway.

I was very spoilt as a child, and I would almost always influence my parents' decision. I wanted to go to an American school (and I'm glad I did, or I'd probably still be spoilt and can only speak Mandarin and Cantonese), and I did. I told them not to have a second baby; they listened to me. I told them to buy Lexus GS instead of ES. I got my way. It's not that I would insist, but they are too kind to me and perhaps still want to spoil me. I don't feel that I have the right to influence their decisions, but I think however old I grow, I would still be their little princess whom they love to spoil. I feel quite guilty about doing that, but whenever I offer my input, they would always consider it. It's just that, after all they've sacrificed for me, I'm still telling them what to buy and how to live? Isn't that a bit too much? Shouldn't they base their choices on what they want, and not what I want? Gah. I feel so rotten now.

[Vortex]

Oldest child of 3. I have a brother four years younger, and he's probably an INTP. Sister 7 years younger, and she might well be an ENTJ.

[coffeeloverfreak]

Not me. I have a younger sister, and I have absolutely no idea what type she is. She's one of those "tough to type" people.

[Shadow]

I'm an only child. I didn't really get lonely, lots of lego and a room could entertain me for hours, but sometimes i wonder how i would have turned out with a sibling. I've got a couple half-sisters, but i never really saw them when i was a kid, plus their kids are my age so there's some age difference.

[acyckowski]

I'm 5th of 6. Thirty cousins total on my Mom's side. One of my brothers is definitely INTJ, and two of the others are NTs of some flavor.

Alone time was never really an issue in our house, though, my Mom was very strongly Introverted and insisted on quiet. We were always able to hole up somewhere and shut the rest of the world out.

[Haphazard]

An older brother, five years older than me. ISTJ, I think. We were really close.

Although, we were pretty spoiled. I have to admit.

[searcheagle]

I am the oldest child of 3. My sister is 2 years younger than me and my brother is 5 years younger than I am.

[vealimi]

I'm the younger of 2.
Mother's an ESFP. My sister is older than me by 6 1/2 year. An ESTP.
Even in my early year she act more like a child than me. She's still acting like that. That's how i got the I.
I've matured early. I became more like an elder in my family. I'm the younger in my family. That's how i got the T and N.
Even out of my family circle, people seek for me for answer like I'm some kind of a priest. That's how i got the J.

[malefide]

I'm the oldest of three.

[JMX]

I have two siblings, one older and one younger.

[Danneh]

I'm the only birth child, but I do have an adopted sister.

[Provoker]

I am wondering how many of my fellow INTJs out there are only children

If we take this sentence at face value it asks: how many fellow INTJs are still children? As in, you guys are "only children", and not adults. This wasn't what you meant obviously. The problem is that children is plural and to be only-something, in this case, implies a singular noun to follow. For example, one can be an only child. But it is impossible to be an only children.

[Tual]

Oldest of child of my parents and oldest grandchild on both sides, I had to fight for everything :P

[eclecticjoker]

I'm the middle child. My older sister is probably an ENFJ, she's two years older. My younger sister is definitely ESFP, and she's three younger. I also have two baby brothers under three years of age.

[Toby]

I have my little sister, who is three years younger than me and an ISTJ. We were and still are pretty close.

[acyckowski]

If we take this sentence at face value it asks: how many fellow INTJs are still children? As in, you guys are "only children", and not adults. This wasn't what you meant obviously. The problem is that children is plural and to be only-something, in this case, implies a singular noun to follow. For example, one can be an only child. But it is impossible to be an only children.

You're way off, dude, both technically and contextually.

"Only child" is a specific expression in English (American English, anyhow) that has a meaning distinct from literal interpretation. It refers to a status or characteristic of an individual, as well as an individual who possesses that status. The plural, referring to more than one person who can be described as an "only child," would have to be "only children." The root sentence, in this context, is "How many are only children?"

Other examples include "deadbeat Dad(s)" and "single Mom(s)."

If he had intended "only" as a synonym for "mere," as you suggest, the phrasing is still correct. The root sentence would change to "How many are children?" with "many" and "children" again reflecting each other. In this context, "only" implies dimunition, not singularity. To use "child" instead of "children," in this context, you would have to modify the sentence to "How many are only a child?" which is correct, but a little awkward.

By the way, what you meant to say was, "If we interpret this sentence literally..." We use the phrase "take at face value," to indicate that the literal interpretation implies one thing, but we suspect there is a hidden and contradictory message left unsaid. For example, "Sales exceeded our expectations this quarter." indicates progress, but what may be left unsaid is "Sales were bad this quarter, but not as bad as we expected them to be." In the case of the original question, "How many fellow INTJs are only children," there are two ways to interpret the words literally, but no hidden meaning.

[december]

I am an only child

[Lucan]

I am the youngest of 3 children. My older brother is 6 years older than me. The other brother was 4 years older than me. I was was the odd anti-social one that was generally left alone.

[ChfMojoRising]

Another only child here. I kind of like the idea of certain personality types emerging from a set circumstance. Perhaps I can encourage similar INTJ traits in a future child I could maybe have one day, possibly. I'd hate to not be able to relate easily in that situation hehe~

[EsoteriEccentri]

I was too. Everything you said:
"I am an only child, the only grand child (on Dad's side) and the youngest grand child (on Mom's side)."

"Needless to say, I was pretty spoilt growing up, but I think this contributes to my being I and N."

All of it. Except that I am the third eldest grandchild on my Mum's side- the eldest really, as the two that are older than me are never seen. They went and lived with their Dad.

Though I also think my (INTP and ENFP) parents types contributed to it too.

[Alida]

I was an only child until 14,

then my brother was born. It has definitely changed me, and the whole dynamic of our family. brought out my F side, sort-of. I don't feel comfortable with it.

[ElstonGunn]

I have a brother who is only a year and a half older than I am. People used to occasionally think that we were twins. And in school, the kids from my brother's class often referred to me as "Little (older brother's name here)." As similar as we may be, and as much as I like the guy, those two things annoyed me to no end. I'm my own person, dammit. Stop treating us the same way.

I'd still probably consider him my best friend though, depending on how the term is defined. I've certainly known him for quite a while.

[acyckowski]

At least your mother didn't call you by your sister's name when she was mad.

No long-term scars. Really. I feel fine.

[thegnat]

I'm yet another only here. My closest relatives are about 10 years older or 10 years younger than I. That probably made me more comfortable with people older than I than my own age.

[intellael]

When stressed I go the extreme of my natural preferences, at least when young. I always independent and private. Having a predominantly SJ family made me stubbornly so. Pro-longed stress does the opposite for me and eventually I crash from exhaustion. Upon reflection I have always demonstrated INTJ traits.

[PRBori]

Oldest of two. I think my brother is an ESFP which drove me crazy and made me retreat at night to a solitary location. Never spoiled at all, my mom was a single mom raising the two of us. We were always expected to work or help around the house shores before we could earn a gift or money.

Yeah,I think I was around 7, but she had a chart with daily shores for us to do. If we completed the shores for the day we got a start, if at the end of the week all days had a full star, we got either a gift or money. It may sound strange but I did like that part.

As a teenager I was going crazy with both my brother and my mom's fanatic attitude towards her religion. Let's put it this way, my mom bought me a car with the intention that I took care of her and my brother before I left at 16 and she didn't want me to go to college or study anything outside her religion. At 16 I gave my mom an ultimatum and took off to the US. I visit every 6 or 7 years... Although I love my mom and brother I can't be around them too long, they literally drive me nuts.


I guess to them I'm the most stubborn person in the whole world.

[pure potential]

Wow.. an INTJ only child! All that thinking with all that time spent alone with unregarded attention.. that's a fascinating subject for me! You 'only children' wanna grab some lunch sometime so I can pick your brain??? Or we can just brainstorm together.. its allgood with me! :)

I'm the baby of three. Two older bros. (I'm so giving myself away to an INTJ jwho migh know me here.. haha.. I don't care right now) Ayway, one of my bros recieved severe brain damage from getting hit by car when he was 5- which hass been another big reason I've been fascinated and studied neurology most of my life. My other bro is a programmer and a total introverted nerd- even more than me!- and possibly an IINTJ with his level of thought/busiiness/entrepreneurial skils. Both my bros are my heroes for special reasons. With a Fathter attempting to raise us on his own (he is more stubborn and idependent than I'll ever be! And that's a feat!!), I always took the Mother role.. right dowon to the stubborness of addressin and not letting go of "key" issues. Plus its inherent in my nature to nurture, so being Mama Bear was always a given. Its jus now that my Father (funny term for me in this context) just learned to acept it and even now will say I'm the "mother" off the family> Of cuorse after much heartache and pain and uunhappy expereinces :( and exhuastion.. but truly a blessing ind isguise. It taught me so much! Granted the last few I've reverted to experiecning my youthful side/opportunities. :)






pure potential added to this post, 1 minutes and 21 seconds later...

..or help around the house shores before we could earn a gift or money.

Yeah,I think I was around 7, but she had a chart with daily shores for us to do. If we completed the shores for the day we got a start, if at the end of the week all days had a full star, we got either a gift or money. It may sound strange but I did like that part.



I guess to them I'm the most stubborn person in the whole world.





pure potential added to this post, 4 minutes and 32 seconds later...

I'm learning to tame my stuboorness.. its a weakness but also a strong gift!!

I trhink thats a gerat thing! Your Mother offerd you a lessioin in respnsibilty, satisfaction from working and appreciation for actions done to meet a goal... you know, theh pride you get from earning something.

My childhood was borderline poverty yet grew up around people who weree verrry rich and well off. It made me have compassion for the other kids that didn't have to earn anything, they never really got to learn that senes fo accompliishmnte of earning somthing and how to survive on your own. I've earned (and lost :)) everything I have o nmy own.. the child of stubborn indepence. Howver, my last 3 yrs have reconnected me with 'nterdepdence" instead of being so damn independet and learning to recieve. I can defintely say its taught (FORCED) me to be morr eopen in t hat department. (and my missoin is to stay open with out getting attached! therefore I never stop learning :)). GOTTA LOVE LIFE"S LOVELY (and not alwyas so fun) OPPORTUNITIES TO LEARN OUR LESSONS!

Understanding as well tat a true mastermind works in groups to achieve great brilliances!.. ;)

[baixue]

I am an only child and my parents were 41 and 46 when I was born...no wonder I've always felt old.

[Autoptic]

I was Mother's (36) only with Father (62) out of the picture. It has been repeatedly implied that I was spoiled but would've required that she actually payed attention to me instead of telling me what I felt, thought, and wanted. It was a catch22, like most thing my life. Either I was the ideal she wanted and thus was spoiled by the family's and her definitions, or I wasn't and thus was guilty and too be ignored, including my claims that their claims and actions were wrong.