Holding ourselves back-an INTJ thing?

[Rachel45]

I have read that INTJs have a tendency to hold themselves back. I know that I usually have so many ideas and desires(my mind is ridiculously bombarded) that I never feel like I am getting done all that I want and need to do. How do you hold yourself back?

[Necrosis]

I would agree.... even right now at work... theres a few things I want to do but they stay as ideas and i never do them... I don't know why...

[SelfMadeBum]

Same problem; too much thinking, not enough doing.

[liquidzilla]

Yes. I rarely say yes to potential mates because I tend to overthink what will happen (and being cynical it's always depressing) and I tend to think about work I need to do and then don't do it for a long time, because I'm dwelling on what should be done and what would be best.

[Lestat]

I think I hold myself back by thinking a lot about the future and not making concrete plans for the next days or weeks. I also like creative writing, but I almost never do it, because I always think about stories for months without writing anything and then I always decide the story is not good enough..

[Rachel45]

I love creative writing and I am currently working on a short story, but I work in these unpredictable creative bursts and then struggle with whether or not it is good enough-Damn Perfectionism!!

[Fanowene]

I don't think I hold myself back too much when it comes to the implementation of plans that don't involve people. But as soon as my plans involve some kind of an interaction with people - in particular sharing of information with them - I tend to keep my mouth shut and take the back seat. There are so many instances when I think "I could say this" but then I decide to wait at least another 5 seconds to make sure my input will fit into the flow of the conversation (or fit into the situation, if no conversation is happening), and after those 5 seconds have passed I either figure that I missed the perfect moment, or that I probably should wait another 5 seconds, or (if I'm lucky) that I should risk something and just spit out the information (and if I'm very lucky I'll spit out a meaningful sentence and won't go back into thinking mode while I'm talking)...

[MrFlaneur]

Simple, its called Se, our weakest function.

[Jean2]

Do the math. I have started and killed at least 15 businesses in my life and been bankrupt twice and I have a new business idea every 87 minutes. I am exhausted and am only 50years old. The math dictates you MUST hold yourself back you simply cannot sleep with everyone, start every business, create every design, read all philosophies, and help everyone.

[yoginimama]

An equal stereotype about INTJs, though, is that they tend to be successful because they work hard and are naturally goal-oriented. I think any type can lead to underachieving and any type can lead to overachieving, it's a question of background and context and all those other factors.

[True Rune]

Most of the world are not interested in our interests, so we sort of have to for their sake. We don't tend to just let people get to know us quickly either. When we reveal things, there is a purpose to it usually. It's almost like leading different lives at times. At least in my experience.

[Nikel]

My reluctance is most noticeable to me when I'm on the internet. There are so many times when I try to write a response to something or make a comment. I write it all out, edit it, and then leave the page without adding it.

I'll be surprised if I actually press submit right now. In fact I will just to shut my brain up.

[elizaholt]

I don't think I hold myself back too much when it comes to the implementation of plans that don't involve people. But as soon as my plans involve some kind of an interaction with people - in particular sharing of information with them - I tend to keep my mouth shut and take the back seat. There are so many instances when I think "I could say this" but then I decide to wait at least another 5 seconds to make sure my input will fit into the flow of the conversation (or fit into the situation, if no conversation is happening), and after those 5 seconds have passed I either figure that I missed the perfect moment, or that I probably should wait another 5 seconds, or (if I'm lucky) that I should risk something and just spit out the information (and if I'm very lucky I'll spit out a meaningful sentence and won't go back into thinking mode while I'm talking)...

It's strange, but I do find myself struggling quite a bit over very short-changed interactions that I need to accomplish to get things done, such as submitting paperwork to HR or inquiring about something. It inevitably becomes a source of frustration because I am procrastinating over the most minor of exchanges at the compromise of getting tasks done quickly and efficiently.

[Danny]

I hold myself back due to
1. Thinking about other priorities
2. Perfectionism; certain things aren't worth starting unless it's precise from the get go
3. People; I don't like the repercussions of being misunderstood, so often I don't even try.

[AnnaKatherine]

I know I hold myself back because I think about what I'm suppose to do & spend so much time planning how to do it. Most of the time I end up not even doing it because after so much time thinking about it I lose interest.
I was also bad about doing English papers because I have a bad habit of coming across as creepy on some topics with out even knowing it. I didn't want my teachers to think I was the next crazy school shooter, so sometimes I wouldn't even try.

[Tactical Panda]

How do you hold yourself back?

For me it has been traditionally procrastination, an unmotivated attitude and acting mopey.

All for dubious reasons.

[DavidHasselhoff]

My vision is often much more perfect than reality. I can visualize the completion of a task, or success of a business idea, and I get this great feeling of achievement. Then I eventually realize that I have not achieved what I have envisioned, and I am pretty hard on myself.

[INTJSheldon]

I wouldn't say I hold myself back, but I do; do something else:

I tend to like to be like 2nd or 3rd in the command situation. This allows me to make the largest impact/risk contribution to the organization and have possitive control over the situation so much as I make those above me feel they have the power.

[Reversed]

Sometimes I do. I'm pretty shy and tend to overthink things.

[daydreamer]

the only time someone else has characterized me as "holding back" was when i was working for them. i tend to think it was meant to motivate me in some way beneficial to them. lol not without some efficacy, sometimes, either. but anyone who knows me personally would laugh hysterically at the thought. if i am holding back, i think, they are glad for the break sometimes :)

[trekie4ever]

I hold myself back because I scare myself. If I truly my full potential I would be an extremely dangerous person.... I do not want that. However, I am getting tired. I want to obtain that balance, but a true balance of the mind, body and spirit is a dangerous thing to obtain if not ready. Simply put, the me I show and the me I lock up will be two separate entities. I keep the locked up part on guard letting pieces out slowly but surely to integrate into myself. So far, so good, but now everyone thinks I'm an unapproachable asshole haha.

[Therion]

My reluctance is most noticeable to me when I'm on the internet. There are so many times when I try to write a response to something or make a comment. I write it all out, edit it, and then leave the page without adding it.

I'll be surprised if I actually press submit right now. In fact I will just to shut my brain up.

I do this ALL the time.... I'm glad I'm not the only one.

[Fanowene]

if i am holding back, i think, they are glad for the break sometimes :)
Haha. I get this all the time from my INTP housemate (& classmate): "<my name> just stop. Stop." - "But... If we...." - "STOP! Or else I'll hit you with something. We're done for today."

[Zodd]

I think I hold myself back by thinking a lot about the future and not making concrete plans for the next days or weeks. I also like creative writing, but I almost never do it, because I always think about stories for months without writing anything and then I always decide the story is not good enough..

I'm happy with what I have in my head and expressing this to the world seems less fun and can be bothersome. Playing with that thing inside my head and/or creating other things in my head is what I mostly do.

Most of the world are not interested in our interests, so we sort of have to for their sake. We don't tend to just let people get to know us quickly either. When we reveal things, there is a purpose to it usually. It's almost like leading different lives at times. At least in my experience.

+1

[llawevets]

I tend to like to be like 2nd or 3rd in the command situation. This allows me to make the largest impact/risk contribution to the organization and have possitive control over the situation so much as I make those above me feel they have the power.

I second that. i do not want the glory, but I do enjoy being a large contributor to a task.

[Kmal]

You just have to overcome it. I'm in the battle right now. Myself holding me back... what a weird thought. You'd think I'd be getting myself in a better position than I am now. :/

On a relavent note, if you're aware of it, and are sufficiently strong minded, you should be able to control it. (I'm currently working on it.)

[rhiesa]

I agree that's it's necessary to hold ourselves back. In my personal experience most people I come into contact with try to run away after a while because I'm overloading them with information, constant revelations and tangents with little relevance but that I find interesting. I have found though that while initially it may be off putting people come to expect that kind of interaction and look forward to it.

I try to ignore short term plans (within one year) instead focusing on what I want to do at that moment, the motivation intrinsic within the joy of the process. Perfection ism isn't always a serious flaw but when it stops you from expressing yourself it most certainly is. If you do creative writing, the next time you finish even a small part of it print off a few copies and start throwing them at people. We all underestimate our creativity when it involves self expression.

[Mateo1041]

For me it's a few reasons:

* I get bored with the original idea once I realize how much work it'll be. I know how to get there but I don't like taking the road.

* Others get in the way and don't understand my vision, so I don't even try. Most other people seem illogical to me.

* Too much risk involved that will probably make me uncomfortable.