On potential partners

[aexis]

Today I discovered something that may seem obvious but absolutely blew me away with it's significance. Given that the rest of you INTJ's are, like me, mostly emotionally clueless and prone to over analysing things, I figured I would share it with you.

It is this: finding someone attractive does not mean you are attracted to them.


Apparently you need something called "chemistry" too, or so my ENF* friends tell me :suspicious:

[iamnotspock]

welcome to the genius club ;-) But I remember when I discovered this, too. Here is the hot girl, here is me, and how come I don't really want to sleep with her now that I got her?

[robin.]

Wayyyy too many people don't understand this.

Just because someone is hot doesn't mean you'll be attracted to them.
Just because you're attracted to someone doesn't mean you actually like them.
Just because you're attracted to someone AND like them doesn't mean you should start a relationship with them.
When you're attracted to someone AND you like them AND you're emotionally stable, then go for it. :)

[Antares]

Apparently you need something called "chemistry" too, or so my ENF* friends tell me :suspicious:

Haha. Chemistry. Haha. This (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) might prove interesting; if that's what he or she meant by 'chemistry'. I'm inclined to agree when the article said that love changes the way you think. No wonder I was so crazy when I was smitten. Now, I can hardly recognize that person as myself. My die-hard romantic friends would accuse me of liking someone if I as much as throw an extra glance at him. When I said I might be interested in him and would date him if made to choose someone, they'd reply: "Ooooo You like him." This is not true; I am merely picking out potential partners while feeling very detached. This does not equate to romantic love.

[asongforgrace]

Just because you're attracted to someone AND like them doesn't mean you should start a relationship with them.

no joke - hardest to understand (well it's actually obvious and I understand it, but it's still harder to understand why you can't be in a relationship with a friend you're attracted to - you clearly just need something more to make it work)

..that did not make sense but , there's logically and emotionally understanding that it's the wrong thing to do, and then there's understanding WHY it's the wrong thing to do. I think that's what I mean..

[blueback]

You're right aexis, attraction is not a choice. . .actually, no emotional reaction is.

I think that how a person views themselves has a lot to do with how they view other people. If you hold yourself in high esteem you won't be attracted to people you hold in low esteem, and the opposite is true as well. Since INTJs are known for their self-confidence, it makes sense that they rarely find anyone else they can respect equally, and they therefore genuinly feel fewer feelings (<- try saying that 3 times fast) of attraction.

[Llen]

Wayyyy too many people don't understand this.

Just because someone is hot doesn't mean you'll be attracted to them.
Just because you're attracted to someone doesn't mean you actually like them.
Just because you're attracted to someone AND like them doesn't mean you should start a relationship with them.
When you're attracted to someone AND you like them AND you're emotionally stable, then go for it. :)

Indeed. If only more people paid heed to this.:thumbsup:

You're right aexis, attraction is not a choice. . .actually, no emotional reaction is.

I think that how a person views themselves has a lot to do with how they view other people. If you hold yourself in high esteem you won't be attracted to people you hold in low esteem, and the opposite is true as well. Since INTJs are known for their self-confidence, it makes sense that they rarely find anyone else they can respect equally, and they therefore genuinly feel fewer feelings (<- try saying that 3 times fast) of attraction.

Hmmm...I think that's the biggest problem I face in dating: Finding an equal whom I can respect.

[JTG]

I used to live in a small country town where most everybody was amiable, and there were a few (highly sought) hot chicks. I moved to florida about 8 years ago and was overwhelmed at how many hot girls there were.

I quickly discovered i hate the typical "hot chick" because of how snobby or bitchy they can be. I actually developed a prejudice against overly attractive women for a while... because it got to the point i assumed they were all lame.

[Colette]

Today I discovered something that may seem obvious but absolutely blew me away with it's significance. Given that the rest of you INTJ's are, like me, mostly emotionally clueless and prone to over analysing things, I figured I would share it with you.


Thanks. This is quite a revelation to me...

:rolleyes:

[Zilal]

Here's another one it seems to take people forever to discover... just because you love someone doesn't mean they're right for you. (And just because you both love each other doesn't mean you're right for each other.)

And one more related to the topic: Just because you're not attracted to someone at first meeting doesn't mean you'll never be attracted to them.

[Aurelia]

Today I discovered something that may seem obvious but absolutely blew me away with it's significance. Given that the rest of you INTJ's are, like me, mostly emotionally clueless and prone to over analysing things, I figured I would share it with you.

It is this: finding someone attractive does not mean you are attracted to them.


Apparently you need something called "chemistry" too, or so my ENF* friends tell me :suspicious:
Of course! You can be physically/sexually attracted to someone but be completely incompatible in other ways. Example: the person may not share your values.

[PRBori]

Today I discovered something that may seem obvious but absolutely blew me away with it's significance. Given that the rest of you INTJ's are, like me, mostly emotionally clueless and prone to over analysing things, I figured I would share it with you.

It is this: finding someone attractive does not mean you are attracted to them.


Apparently you need something called "chemistry" too, or so my ENF* friends tell me :suspicious:

Normally is not the physical aspects of a person that attract us, with some exeptions, for me the face has to be nice and cute, but everything else doesn't matter. It is more important for me that the person shares the same level of intelligence, understanding, views, and most importantly has a clear heart and soul.

If the non-physical aspects click, then there is chemistry... if I was to meet the most handsome men on earth and there was no chemistry, I wouldn't even look his way.

The human nature and purity of the heart and soul are essential.... the physical aspect of a human will always change, but the heart and soul tend to stay the same until death...