Thoughts After a Social Ecounter

[Jgib5328]

Whenever I have a social encounter, I tend to start thinking a lot when it is over. Usually about the social encounter. I basically think of different things I could have said, different situations that could've happened in that social encounter, different things that will happen in the next social encounter etc. It's kind of annoying, I imagine a whole bunch of situations right after. I think this has to to with the need for an introvert to introspect combined with the INTJ's Ni, which imagines a whole bunch of subjective possibilities.

[Antares]

Whenever I have a social encounter, I tend to start thinking a lot when it is over. Usually about the social encounter. I basically think of different things I could have said, different situations that could've happened in that social encounter, different things that will happen in the next social encounter etc. It's kind of annoying, I imagine a whole bunch of situations right after. I think this has to to with the need for an introvert to introspect combined with the INTJ's Ni, which imagines a whole bunch of subjective possibilities.

I do that too, and I would imagine the ideal conversations I could have had with the other person, despite the fact that it's never going to happen.

[Jgib5328]

I do that too, and I would imagine the ideal conversations I could have had with the other person, despite the fact that it's never going to happen.

Haha, I always imagine myself saying the wittiest things ever. I find it funny how egotistical my day dreams can be, but I suppose all day dreams are supposed to be like that.

[Nyiah]

Yes, I definitely do this too, especially if it's an argument. I think of better retorts to arguments long after the argument has ended. And if I mention them, I only receive odd looks like "have you been dwelling on it all that time??"

[blueback]

Try writing your thoughts down. Then, go talk to 10 strangers. After a while you'll start thinking of what you should say when you need it, instead of later.

[Antares]

Yes, I definitely do this too, especially if it's an argument. I think of better retorts to arguments long after the argument has ended. And if I mention them, I only receive odd looks like "have you been dwelling on it all that time??"

That's why I think out all of my arguments just to prepare for such debates, if I willing choose to enter one or unwittingly find myself in one. In verbal debates, the other side rarely has well thought-out arguments; perhaps they rarely think about such things. They would often be overwhelmed by my developed arguments. Well. I actually took the time to think about it. They would usually stop talking to me instead of admitting they're wrong, even when standing defeated. A couple of days later, they would find me and bombard me with arguments and I would listen with vacant eyes. After they stop speaking, I would give them a puzzled look, criticize their points (because I've already prepared my arguments against whatever may come. I often think both sides to get strong arguments and strong rebuttals. It surprises me that even after a few days, their arguments are still not thorough enough to be logically valid) and ask: "What century did that come from?" and walk away. By that time, my mind as moved on to other issues. So... Don't go back to them, even if you have lost the argument. Instead, prepare for the future ones ;)

Haha, I always imagine myself saying the wittiest things ever. I find it funny how egotistical my day dreams can be, but I suppose all day dreams are supposed to be like that.

Ew. I sabotage my own humor that way. I often dwell on: "Is saying it this way wittier, or the other?" And the thought would still plague me even when I present my witty and snide comments, and being unsure of myself often kills the effects and cause me to stumble over words.

[aexis]

Haha, I always imagine myself saying the wittiest things ever.

In my post-interaction imagination, I'm the most charming, sophisticated, witty and charismatic individual in town. Sadly it's always 10 minutes too late. :thumbsup:

[Jgib5328]

In my post-interaction imagination, I'm the most charming, sophisticated, witty and charismatic individual in town. Sadly it's always 10 minutes too late. :thumbsup:

Lol,exactly, but I do have my moments where I shine in the social context.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

A mixture of perfectionism, insecurity in social situations, and learning from the encounter for future use.

[lordrrr]

I don't know why, but a lot of time during one on one encounters my head gets filled with really, really warped ideas like, for instance, "What would happen if I stripped naked in front of my teacher and started dancing on all the desks?". Of course I would never do that but I can't help but think of how she would react :undecided:

[Alpha Prime]

In my post-interaction imagination, I'm the most charming, sophisticated, witty and charismatic individual in town. Sadly it's always 10 minutes too late. :thumbsup:

I usually have very good comebacks that pop up, immediately. Perhaps this is an S/N thing.. thoughts?

[nickasummers]

I actually think about what I would say if people responded in certain ways before a conversation I know i am going to have, in addition to post-interaction thoughts.

[Darkmist]

I do all of this and then decide that socializing takes way too much energy so I withdraw from it. And become happy and refuse to attend all the inane picnics etc. Of course, this drives my 'but you must come to this or that get together because your absence reflects badly on me' husband up the wall. (He's ENTP, Dr Jeckel (sp) and Mr Hyde). Then I agree to attend a party (usually with his coworkers who dislike me for no valid reason that I am aware of) and the irritating cycle begins anew.

[iamnotspock]

Try blueback's advice. Exposure to strangers will desensitize you lowering your stress. Then you'll be able to think in real time. It's that simple.

[Darkmist]

Actually I can talk to strangers better than to familiar people. With the familiar people I know I have to see them again so I must watch what I say and how I project myself. From my experience, at least with the people I know, all they want is conformity and ego stroking, which I can't give. And since I don't give it, they resort to gossip behind my back or ganging up on me to 'fix' me. My husband's family, all STs of some sort, is the worst to be around. And his coworkers are all natterhead gossipers and I usually bear the brunt of that. I do however, like a couple of their wives. I think I'm just losing tolerance of close-minded people who think they know things they don't.

[lordrrr]

Actually I can talk to strangers better than to familiar people. With the familiar people I know I have to see them again so I must watch what I say and how I project myself. From my experience, at least with the people I know, all they want is conformity and ego stroking, which I can't give. And since I don't give it, they resort to gossip behind my back or ganging up on me to 'fix' me. My husband's family, all STs of some sort, is the worst to be around. And his coworkers are all natterhead gossipers and I usually bear the brunt of that. I do however, like a couple of their wives. I think I'm just losing tolerance of close-minded people who think they know things they don't.

I'm torn on this. It reminds me of what they always said to Americans vacationing in Cabo san Lucas to encourage them to, for instance, volunteer for something that appears silly: "It's Cabo san Lucas- nobody knows you". So, in that respect I'm more open around strangers I guess. But there's also the fact that my friends don't really care about any sort of weird thing I do because, well, they're my friends and all of the experiences/stories/hardships we've shared in the past more than make up for something perhaps trivial like being tounge tied. A stranger doesn't know you too well, and the first impression is most likely what they'll judge you as and where they'll categorize you for a long time unless you become their friend or something of the sort. Even if you found a cure for cancer they'll always see you as that kid who made everything awkward when simply greeted by a stranger.

In the end I generally don't care what people think of me. I DO however care for my reputation/lasting impressions. I also don't want to embarass my friends by having someone think of me poorly and thus embarassing my friends because they are in my company.

[Mandrake]

I am usually overgeneralizing my original impression of a person. After that, I think what would be the better approach I would take on my next encounter.