Nights out around the town for the INTJ guys?

[cruiseingheart]

When I was going out around the town on a saturday night alot I was hangin around guys who had alot of high energy and were able to talk to alot to woman. They were not perfect all the time but they did well. I heard that the night life is more for extraverts because of the small talk, the high energy and the crazy stuff they do. I know that some inroverts act in a similiar way but I see more extraverts doing this.

For me before I knew I was an INTJ or anything like that I tryed to match my friends energy, I tried to do talk as much as they did. I ended up mentally tired towards the end of the night and I was quiet from time to time probably because I had to think before I say something.

After a while I decidered to do things different I decided to be a bit more casual/enthusiastic than the entertainer. I was kind of prepared with what to say and I even had "Time out" on the night saved my energy and still had a good time. I have been able to approuch most goups of woman sometimes times (this took some effort).

I have got better not great but better. I just wondered what are other INTJ's/other types are like on a night out on the town.

Stuff like?
What are you like in pubs and clubs?
How do you initiate the conversation to peaple who you attractive?
Do you get drained towards end of the night?
Are nights out around the town right for you or do you prefer something else?

[Antagonist]

I used to get drained until I learned how to activate my extraverted cognitive processes at will. Sometimes I'll find myself falling into reflection, but as long as I'm conscious about it I can be just as high energy as my extraverted friends. Then again, whenever I get home I always crash and sleep for 8-10 hours, so I suppose it can only be kept up for so long.

[Blse]

Night on the town?

Well, I like to make myself some cocoa and sit the hot tub. Get some take-out, or order in, and watch some TV and let the stress of the week unwind. I work 60 h/wk (and unfortunately, I'm often grading homework Friday nights). That's doing it INTJ-style!

[Vagrant]

Yeah, I gotta say. You won't find me out of the house unless in the company of people I already know. I simply cannot just approach somebody, although I wish I had the endurance to do so.

[MakingIn]

When I have a night out on the town I'm a big fan of pubs or bars with small dance areas. It sounds lame, but something about dancing is incredibly freeing for me. I guess as an INTJ I just don't care about how much of a jackass I look dancing. Strangely enough, people seem to be attracted to my terrible dance moves. Perhaps because I'm just unselfconsciously enjoying myself? I don't know.

I'm good at initiating conversation if I have a common topic to discuss. I'm good making a quick joke if something significant happens, but I absolutely can not just go up to a girl and start talking about nothing. When I try to force it I always fail miserably.

I'm usually pretty exhausted by the end of the night, but most of the time it's exhausted in a good way. Some of the time though I get sort of withdrawn and down, and I tend to wander off by myself at some point in the night, to go do my own thing and think. Honestly though, if it wasn't for my friends making the plans to go out, I probably never would.

If I have the right people, I love a night on the town. Frankly though, with the right people just about anything is fun. Otherwise I'd rather stay at home and do my own thing.

[Samoan Corleone]

What are you like in pubs and clubs?

I can be pretty loud and goofy around my friends and I've never been out on the town by myself, so I'm pretty much the same when there.

How do you initiate the conversation to peaple who you attractive?

Only if they make the first move.

Do you get drained towards end of the night?

I still haven't figured this one out. I'm never sure if I'm tired because of all the socialising, or because it's 6am in the morning. Maybe it's both.

Are nights out around the town right for you or do you prefer something else?

I enjoy nights out on the town, but I won't die if I miss out on one. I like staying at home and writing essays as well. If there's nothing productive to do at home, or when I'm sick of arguing with family members, I'll have a night out with the boys (or girl) to escape.

[NateCFI]

I certainly enjoy going out. Though I would generally rather have the type of setting with a small(ish) group of friends that all pretty much know eachother, enjoying some drinks by a fire. It's easier for me to converse in this type of "real" setting, I'm terrible at having good conversations at a bar/pub if there are a lot of people I don't know tagging along.

Am I normally tired? Hard to say whether it's the lack of sleep or the hangover that causes it but if it's not a night out, I do get "socially" tired sometimes. There are times where I just don't want to have to talk about a lot of bullshit, I just want some human contact. Example; I've called my buddy up a couple times on the weekend cause I want to just hang out with a few people. He'll tell me there is a party going on at which point I get turned off on the idea and come up with some stupid excuse for why I can't make it. If i didn't, he'd egg me on and I'd end up doing something I didn't really want to do. I love him for it (because it has gotten me out of my shell a lot of times and I usually have enjoyed myself) but there are times I'm just not in the mood for it.

[deconspire]

1) Stuff like?
2)What are you like in pubs and clubs?
3)How do you initiate the conversation to peaple who you attractive?
4)Do you get drained towards end of the night?
5)Are nights out around the town right for you or do you prefer something else?

1) I hate clubs. I go out to bars, small band venues, baseball or hockey games, and poker

2) I'm fairly quiet (I generally look for a game on at the bar) until I get a couple drinks in me. Then I loosen up and get extravert-like obnoxious. No problems talking to the ladies, although I get tired of the 'game'.

3) I get eye-contact and smile. If she (in my case) smiles back and holds eye-contact, it's intro time. I've had good success (and by 'success' I mean I don't look like a jack-ass) by simply saying, "Hi, I'm name, you're really cute and I'd like to buy you a drink in the hope that you might get drunk enough to sleep with me". (<-- kidding about the last part, but that's probably workable too in the right situation as a joke). The important thing is to come off as a normal, confident, interesting guy. Oh, and don't dress like a douche-bag, either. Damn women will notice everything wrong with you in about 5 seconds.

4) Yes. Totally drained.

5) I probably stay in 70% of the time. Cheaper to drink.

[True]

1) Stuff like?
Hate clubs. Love local and dive bars. Late night events I'm interested in, movie premiers, comedy clubs, bands if I actually know them.

2)What are you like in pubs and clubs?
Quiet till I get a few drinks in, then it depends on the mood of the group I'm in. If they are really outgoing and having a good time, I'll be right there leading the night rapidly towards complete annihilation. If everyone is pretty laid back, I lose interest and start doing the reserved, quiet listener thing.

3)How do you initiate the conversation to peaple who you attractive?
I'm reserved as fuck around strangers. But if I get a feeling that it might be mutual, I'll make an attempt to at least introduce myself and see where it goes from there. If they don't seem interested at all in continuing the conversation, I'll usually run back to the bar and pound some more shots.

4)Do you get drained towards end of the night?
Definitely, unless I've decided it is a Jager & Red Bull night. Then I'll be like a chipmunk on crack. But usually once I go out for a night I don't feel like doing it again for couple days at least. Even if I had the best time of my life.

5)Are nights out around the town right for you or do you prefer something else?
I prefer nights out that are part of a larger event. Like going to a ski movie premier, then going to the after party at a bar. These just seem to be more fun for me, probably because the event itself is something I'm interested in, and the majority of the people at the party all have a similar interest / experience to talk with about. Makes talking to strangers a little easier.

[lincoln]

When I'm out I am in total control still/I'm not taking any risks...if I get too drunk I find that I will offend someone, so I try to not get too drunk. I also think good company is essential. I need to be able to share my observations with someone. I'm writing a beatnik novel in my head all the time...so, if I can't share my humor or whatever I tend to get really bored.
I think I'm disturbed...you will see me walk away to get a pack of cigarettes or what have you...Once, I went grocery shopping while everyone was in the bar (there was a health food store open late next door)...I just feel like I'm too old for this shit a lot of times. I would rather be with my family or doing something creative. btw, no family...and 23..
I used to party a lot when I was a teen, but I was really shy...I think I just didn't want to be home. I know that actually...it was more about being around people who gave me some positive feedback, or at least I felt pretty and people paid attention to me.Now I don't need that.
Also, I don't really think americans are that much fun to be around. I don't like talking to them a lot of the time...they are boring

[maxac8]

What are you like in pubs and clubs?
I hate clubs with a passion. I hate dancing and can;t her what the person next to me is saying. Being an introvery, they have always been low on my favorite places list.

How do you initiate the conversation to peaple who you attractive?
I don't unless a great opening comes along. Bars are horrible places to meet people, I would much prefer somewhere else.

Do you get drained towards end of the night?
Not really, if i;m having a good time I can keep going.

Are nights out around the town right for you or do you prefer something else?
They were when I was younger, nowadays i'm much more chill. I like my small groupd in pubs if anything.

[cruiseingheart]

Thanks for the replies! I can see we are all the quite similar

Yeah, I gotta say. You won't find me out of the house unless in the company of people I already know. I simply cannot just approach somebody, although I wish I had the endurance to do so.



For me it's not really about endurance it is about my state of mind as in getting rid of the nonsense in my head and just doing it.

When I have a night out on the town I'm a big fan of pubs or bars with small dance areas. It sounds lame, but something about dancing is incredibly freeing for me. I guess as an INTJ I just don't care about how much of a jackass I look dancing. Strangely enough, people seem to be attracted to my terrible dance moves. Perhaps because I'm just unselfconsciously enjoying myself? I don't know.

I'm good at initiating conversation if I have a common topic to discuss. I'm good making a quick joke if something significant happens, but I absolutely can not just go up to a girl and start talking about nothing. When I try to force it I always fail miserably.



Dancing does not sound lame... because I do it!
I am usually prepared when I am out around town but just like you there has to be a certain topic otherwise I fail.

I get eye-contact and smile. If she (in my case) smiles back and holds eye-contact, it's intro time. I've had good success (and by 'success' I mean I don't look like a jack-ass) by simply saying, "Hi, I'm name, you're really cute and I'd like to buy you a drink in the hope that you might get drunk enough to sleep with me". (<-- kidding about the last part, but that's probably workable too in the right situation as a joke).

You a pua or something?
It is good to do it your way. There are are times when I just walk into a situation and take a seat/stand next to them. Now I look at the body language of the group first before I approach. I usually have something prepared and funny to say.
Sometimes it works out ok!

The important thing is to come off as a normal, confident, interesting guy. Oh, and don't dress like a douche-bag, either. Damn women will notice everything wrong with you in about 5 seconds.


True!

Even though I have a good nighht with my friends sometimes I think that the nights out around the town is mainly for people who are good at small talk and have high energy. I know I'm wrong and having a negative belief like that gets you nowhere.

[DroppedG7]

I find alcohol gives me energy to the point I can only sleep for a few hours until I'm wide awake again. This social lubricant also enables me to dumb myself down and enjoy situations that I consider less than interesting and that in turn makes for a decent night out. So yes I use a crutch in social situations and it works out for the better.. after all you only live once.

[messianic]

I used to get drained until I learned how to activate my extraverted cognitive processes at will. Sometimes I'll find myself falling into reflection, but as long as I'm conscious about it I can be just as high energy as my extraverted friends. Then again, whenever I get home I always crash and sleep for 8-10 hours, so I suppose it can only be kept up for so long.

How exactly do you activate extraverted cognitive processes at will?

[ZincLysine]

I'm 23, live in the UK and finished college in the summer.

The biggest issue I faced when I first started going out was the fact I don't drink. I never have and never will. It was unimportant to me, but it was a big issue for everyone around me. A lot of them tried to impose me and if anything, that's what I found draining. In the end I ditched these people for more respectful friends.

Otherwise, the majority of my experiences going out are mainly during uni. I was there for four years and went out 5-6 times a week. Union, clubs and visiting nearby cities. I only have one close mate in my home town now everyone's left, so we don't go out too much.

Uni was a nightmare going out at first. Firstly cos of the drink issue I said above, but also because I was at a uni that was majority guys (4:1) and everyone there seemed obsessed with women. Add to that, I was at a sporting uni, so everyone is a walking greek statue, I'm short, at the time was fat and getting fatter, balding and asian (yes it does count against you for some ignorant ppl).

I found that as my confidence and experience grew, going out became really easy and enjoy. I actually go out a lot on my own. Its a great challenge. You have to be able to make friends on the night, or you'll be sat around like a loser. Downside... if you're on your own, and someone starts on you, there is no back up!

I went to an all guys school growing up and never really thought about the issue of girls, suddenly I was at this uni where every guy seemed to think it was the be all of going out.

When I go out, I do lots of things. The overall objective is to have fun. If you have fun, it doesn't matter if you pulled or not. If you go out to pull and nothing else, you'll have more bad nights than good ones.

I mainly dance when I head out and talk to people. Odd thing is, I find talking on a night out real hard with people who drink, but it doesn't seem to matter much. The next day they were happy I took time to say something. As most people drink and get more drunk thoughout the night, they have less important things to say and the chat can become very small. In exchange, I get to dance more at those times. Plus their confidence seems to be higher that they've become John Travolta.

If I'm not talking/dancing or drinking water (its free!) you play games. For example, a challenge between you and your mates as to who can get the most kisses first, the most numbers etc. I take a deck of cards with me usually, so if you find a seat and need a break, you guys can play poker. If you got enough people have a dance off.

As for girls, I rarely was attracted to girls. They used to get wasted and it wasn't flattering. If I saw a quality girl, I just went straight upto her and started talking. I said I found it hard to talk to people who drink, but the girls I used to pick either drank next to nothing or none at all. I found it really easy to talk to them and used to get dates easy enough.

What are you like in pubs and clubs?

I don't hit pubs much. All except once, I've had racism that way. Bars are alright for chatting with friends and girls. I like clubs the most though, mainly cos I like dancing. I don't tend to meet the girls I like at clubs. But I still enjoy the night out.

How do you initiate the conversation to people who you attracted to?

I go upto them and make conversation. I don't drink, so either I'm going to make it happen or I can forget it. I have a series of strategies, tactics and operational sound bites which I developed by going out often and socialising. Afterall, you don't learn to play football by reading the rules first. You kick a ball and then find out what offside is.

I was also quite determined to practice (even on girls I had no interest in) for lack of a better term at uni because there were so many guys there. The heat was on, and I guessed right that if you could get good in that enviroment where the girls think they're the prize with a pick of guys, then you'll be good in the normal world where there's a lot of girls for them to compete against other girls.

Do you get drained towards end of the night?

As I've gotten older, I realised if you feel drained you're managing your night badly. If people are bringing you down, you need tactics to either get them revved, or drop them while you have fun (and you need to know how to drop them without them feeling disowned.)

Are nights out around the town right for you or do you prefer something else?

The biggest aspect of going out I like is a decent sound system and a dance floor. Otherwise, I prefer lots of other things. However, I've always found that there's plenty of enjoyment to be had if you have the right mentality. Its usually a lack of creativity that prevents you from maximizing the potential of any arena.