Losing yourself

[coffeeloverfreak]

This goes out to those of you who are "always in your head" (fairly common among INTJs): What methods do you employ to "lose yourself" when you want a break?

I know some people get drunk or take drugs. I enjoy drinking sometimes but not to get drunk, and I don't take drugs.

Personally I find music - like, at a concert - is a great way of being able to completely step outside myself. When I travel, sometimes I'm able to escape who I am for a time, too, and just be someone else... or just be.

Do you like the feeling of being able to shut off your inner voice for a while? Or do you dislike it? Do you find yourself doing things you wouldn't ordinarily do?

[Firelie]

I read fantasy books to lose myself if I need to. I don't mind shutting off my inner voice, but if I spend too much time away from it, I end up having an oddly lonely feeling for a few hours after I've stopped reading.

I don't lose myself when I'm drinking. The inner voice just gets quieter, that's all.

[Tonney P]

I read a lot of psychological Thrillers and Science fiction; I also find some new course of study; I am an artist and my latest passion is computer/graphic arts. I am also an astro/Numerologist; this always have me stepping outside of my self; especially if a client wants to study their spiritual concords. I always seem to have some project that I am working on like my new book. My last refuge and constant companion is music, which I listen to all of the time, even when I am working.

[gallihand]

I don't take drugs but I do drink socially. I used to drink to get drunk but it lost its fun. I second the books but that's technically still in your head so I don't know if that counts for you. Exercise is very effective for me, although its probably more of losing myself in total focus on something.

[Antares]

Playing the piano and singing bring out the romantic in me. For some reason, flute doesn't achieve that effect. Granted, it makes me feel a whole lot more emotional than romance movies. I can be around extroverts and turn into one myself.

[Jgib5328]

I like to drive around aimlessly for hours. It's one of the most enjoyable things I do. I completely lose myself in my mind and have some of the most enjoyable thoughts that I've ever had in my life. This combined with music works wonders.

[Zilal]

There's a couple types of "losing yourself" and I notice readers have replied for both. I think you were referring to losing yourself outside your head (not thinking as much), but there's also losing yourself inside your head.

Just about anything at all engaging helps me turn off the inner voice, from homework to talking with friends to having to solve an unexpected problem. I don't tend to have it happen when I'm doing mindless stuff like chores or hiking.

The most "lost" I become is when I'm writing. I disappear, the world disappears... there is no "me" and I suppose you could describe it as a kind of flow, but I don't experience particular enjoyment from it. It just is. I would say I like to write but it's more like breathing. You don't usually hear people say they like breathing.

[Firelie]

I second the books but that's technically still in your head so I don't know if that counts for you.

Technically still in the head, yes. But when I get sucked into a book, it's not me talking to myself in my head, it's the story running through my head. I consider it different...and very effective in shutting off the inner voice.

[Victor Tango]

I pour myself into a creative outlet, usually either writing or music.

Vic

[Lagawrd]

Losing myself? I don't think I enjoy the idea of that. I really don't understand what 'losing yourself' means. I am usually jumping from one thing to another as does everyone else (Not only INTJs). When I am alone or bored while doing something I start to think of things I want to do or things I have done either in my day or things that worry me at that time period. When I am flexing and using my brain I am not in that state of boredom. If I am doing something physical like Muai Thai (Martial Arts) i am not in that state of boredom nor am I in that heavy flexing of the brain process.

So what truly is ones self? When do you lose it? That voice in my head never shuts down nor does it ever get loud. My operations are partly influenced by that voice. Of course I am assuming that the voice is my thought process. Other than that, I dont literally hear a voice. But to satisfy the question, I will answer the best I could. The things I do to calm me down or to relieve stress is to do something easy on the brain like reading a informative book where you are recieving rather than building and breaking down. There must be isolation; no sound and nothing that can set off without warning.

In the end, I dont think there is such thing as losing yourself. Everything you do reflects what you did, what you went through, and what your motives are. You could say you lost yourself when you get mad at your spouse one day or when you play sport and you 'lose' yourself to adrenaline.

There are different moods and different settings.

[Gloed]

This goes out to those of you who are "always in your head" (fairly common among INTJs): What methods do you employ to "lose yourself" when you want a break?


not a method i employ, but i tend to enjoy being tired at times because it shuts my brain down a bit. i could be doing anything that doesn't really require thinking and enjoy it. i'd be too tired to stress about social stuff..

[Tonney P]

Has anyone ever lost themselves; unintentionally, of course, through a relationship? I did, and boy did I have a hard time getting back.

[Hoorurly]

Spending the day at Disney World.

[AgentofGaming]

I don't think the mind shuts up ideas unless its tired.

As for losing control through intoxication, that's rather scary, who knows what I'd do. So I tend to stay away from that stuff.

If I read a good book or play a good computer game my environment seems to disappear. A good book and I'll not even notice I was on a bus for an hour.

If I want to set my mind to input mode instead of output I watch TV.

Has anyone ever lost themselves; unintentionally, of course, through a relationship? I did, and boy did I have a hard time getting back.
I haven't had that happen before to myself, maybe you'd should share your experience of it.

[Zilal]

Losing myself? I don't think I enjoy the idea of that. I really don't understand what 'losing yourself' means.

What happens when I write is hard to describe as it's really an experience beyond words or, really, conceptions. It's just one of those things that can only be experienced. That said, I suppose I'd describe it as an alteration of awareness... I just don't have any awareness of myself as a person (or the room I'm in, or the weather, or anything besides the writing). I think this happens to some degree when we're absorbed in anything, but for me it happens to an extreme when I write.

[narutofanninja]

I have no motivation. Does that count>?

[Scorne]

I lose myself when I write/listen to music or read a Stephen King novel. At home, music is always playing, outside the house you will always see me with an iPod on (Either in my ear or in a place where I can easily grab it -- e.g. the earpiece is slot between my chest and my shirt).

My inner voice is horrible, I think way too much and I'm an extremely people-hating person (Due to my old job). I'm also a very depressing person in my mind, but I seem jubbly outside.

[schmidt]

Read a good book can usually keep my busy for hours, dampening the 'inner voice' a bit.
Other things I've found work is attending concerts, you can focus on one thing straight ahead of you. And the drinking part also makes loosen up a bit.

[gallihand]

What happens when I write is hard to describe as it's really an experience beyond words or, really, conceptions. It's just one of those things that can only be experienced. That said, I suppose I'd describe it as an alteration of awareness... I just don't have any awareness of myself as a person (or the room I'm in, or the weather, or anything besides the writing). I think this happens to some degree when we're absorbed in anything, but for me it happens to an extreme when I write.

That sounds like the 'flow state.' Lifting or driving roads close to the point of losing control brings me into a pseudo-flow state. Its similar in that it uses all your attention but in the case of driving it isn't focused inwards.

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...this highly creative flow state, the state where you lose all sense of time, your ego vanishes, and you become one with the task in front of you.
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[safetypin00]

i run

[Zilal]

Yeah, I'd definitely describe it as flow. Though many people say that flow is a very enjoyable experience, and I don't experience any particular emotion from it.

[starztimehalo]

I used to drive around for hours looking for pictures to take (i'm an avid photographer). Looking for potential pictures, like of old barns, nature, etc, is very relaxing to me, and a way that I can focus on something other than my own personal thoughts. Now that the gas prices are up I don't do that so much anymore.

[lancelot]

I pray, I play the guitar, I watch a movie.
I didn't think other people stuggled with their mind working overtime.
To relax I study a book, or I draw abstract pictures in my note book and pretend to invent things.
I love getting lost in a good movie such as: Finding forester, The emporer's club, The red violin.
Chunk Norris movies don't do it for me.

[coffeeloverfreak]

No, no, no, I'm not talking about things you do to relax, or introspect, or chill out.

I'm talking about times when you are actually able to step outside yourself and shut down the voice in your head that is always practical, reasonable, questioning, even self-doubting. I'm talking about the times when you can just let go of everything you normally are, and just "be". When you lose yourself so much in the moment that you can shut off your N and your T and just... lose yourself in feeling and sensation.

[Headstrong]

A good old hardcore show and moshing does it for me.

[coffeeloverfreak]

A good old hardcore show and moshing does it for me.

That could be interpreted in more than one way, there. Since there are kids on this forum, I'll leave it at that. :laugh:

[lordrrr]

I get lost all the time I'm always thinking and questioning. So pretty much anything that isn't really interesting. Even then I'll space out.


I guess my prime times are during school (not good :( ), when I'm running, when I'm in the library, when I'm playing games and the current task feels like a chore, when I'm watching a boring movie, when I'm listening to music (big one there!) and generally anything I do so long as it doesn't idk get my blood pumping but even then it's impossible to stop my constant daydreaming and spacing out.

[lancelot]

This goes out to those of you who are "always in your head" (fairly common among INTJs): What methods do you employ to "lose yourself" when you want a break?

Let me say it another way, Getting lost in something is more like becomming a part of what I am involved with at the moment. You know, you forget about everything esle.

[Lagawrd]

Let me say it another way, Getting lost in something is more like becomming a part of what I am involved with at the moment. You know, you forget about everything esle.

That happens with everything. 'Losing yourself' is probably just another phrase for deep focus. 'Losing yourself' is a really bad phrase for this.

[Learning]

This goes out to those of you who are "always in your head" (fairly common among INTJs): What methods do you employ to "lose yourself" when you want a break?
Personally I find music - like, at a concert - is a great way of being able to completely step outside myself. When I travel, sometimes I'm able to escape who I am for a time, too, and just be someone else... or just be.
Do you like the feeling of being able to shut off your inner voice for a while? Or do you dislike it? Do you find yourself doing things you wouldn't ordinarily do?

No, no, no, I'm not talking about things you do to relax, or introspect, or chill out.
I'm talking about times when you are actually able to step outside yourself and shut down the voice in your head that is always practical, reasonable, questioning, even self-doubting.
Sooo...something that doesn't involve thinking, right? This is actually kind of funny because everyone is thinking to figure it out, and even many of the answers include intellectual activity. :laugh:. Anyway, yours is actually the best answer so far (to your own question). Existentialism is a simple concept, but it doesn't make it easy to experience.
I can't think of anything right now that works for me in the way that you're asking. I've mostly just been able to quiet my mind more by things like music & reading (as others have mentioned already). To really enjoy something & just enjoy being- and being in the moment- sounds like a rare thing. The only things I can think of that come close might be spending some alone time with nature, and hanging out with kids. They just "are" and just "do", so it makes it easier to have those kinds of experiences around them.

[lordrrr]

Oh shizzle.


IDK if I ever shut off thinking... Today I was really pissed at this stupid thing I'm doing for school and I didn't have much thought there. Other than that I was constantly thinking. So maybe when I'm really angry.

[coffeeloverfreak]

To really enjoy something & just enjoy being- and being in the moment- sounds like a rare thing.

I know, it's rare for me too. I suspect it's rare for most NTs, because of the dominance of introverting intuition and simultaneously projecting thinking to the outside world. To just "be" is more of an SF thing, which is probably pretty rare around here.

But the times when I've managed to achieve this state, I've really enjoyed it, and it's given me the sense that maybe those ESFP types are onto something.

[Iago]

I find that whatever I'm doing to distract myself, usually through music, a book, or jumping around different websites, that I still float in and out of whatever is mind is working on.

The more I force myslf to relax, the more space I create in my mind to think harder rather than chill....oh pants!

[mabts]

When I smoke indica strands of pot and take in visual or audio type stimulation, I can sometimes "lose myself." When I smoke sativa strands I generally over-think everything and can deal with very little.

[sati2222]

I had a similar question about shutting my brain off every once in awhile. It gets tiring and all-consuming sometimes to be inundated with my self-talk. I talked to a psychologist about it and he recommended anti-psychotics. It took me a couple months but I did eventually fill the prescription. It certainly shuts off your brain, but I didn't find it helpful; it just made me feel stupid. So I haven't taken any again. My psychologist thought my excessive introspection was similar to a symptom of schizophrenia. I no longer see him.

[NoahAddle]

I've found that riding on roller coasters have been the best for that. But pretty much anything that puts my body in motion helps.

[headrush]

I used to take drugs and drink alcohol, now i don't. But hey it works as long as you are high but then you gotta shake up some money to buy more of it, and in higher doses. Shit, now I get depressed even smoking cannabis. I have always been creative but suppressed it, I believed if I was writing or painting etc. I was being the weak me. Now I embrace it and the high of creating is way more pleasing then being high on drugs.

[Aoiluna]

I don't mind shutting off my inner voice, but if I spend too much time away from it, I end up having an oddly lonely feeling for a few hours after I've stopped reading.


This happens to me, too.

I dont do drugs, but alcohol helps a little. I dont really lose myself but rather I am able to focus my thoughts on anything about 10 times better than when sober. This allows me to actually be interested in things that would normally bore me. Hm, I should try cleaning when drunk.

Working out and any intense physical activity helps too, especially if youre focusing on what you are doing. Walking (especially outside) sends me on thought overload though.

[iamnotspock]

1. Hardcore coding. It can take a day or two to work up to it. But then you can lose yourself in the process. Abstract yourself out of existence. A pure NT release.

2. A weekend camp-out. The kind that starts in the morning with a group hike, you stop for lunch on the rocks, you inhale the scent of the woods, the water, talk to new people. You sleep in tents under the stars and tell ghost stories to scare each other and then someone's afraid to go to the commode alone. You meet new friends waiting in line to freeze your balls off in unheated camp-showers with weird slime on the walls next morning. That night, you have a bonfire, watch it burn, listen to it crackle, smell the smoke, sing great songs, roast marshmellows, get drunk, and feel like you are all the best friends in the world.

3. A good beer buzz + live music + friends who love you + some new chick you just met who still laughs at whatever you say. All together at once.

4. A shit-kicking, door-slamming, stuff-breaking, good drunken brawl with your ex, with plenty of humiliating insults the neighbors can hear, followed by hardcore fucking that shakes the walls and loud music.

5. Just staring at my face in the mirror for over one minute.

6. Going to a bar with a bunch of buddies, one guy getting hit with a bottle, all eight of you turning around to take on the stupid drunk and his friends at once, everyone on the same page, adrenaline pumping.

7. Being in a car accident. The world going by in slow motion, stopping time.

8. Driving a motorcycle at high speed through the night.

9. Swimming like hell to win the relay for your team at an important meet.

10. Singing your favorite songs with your stereo at full blast.

11. Getting on stage to do standup -- do or die.

Okay, that's enough. This tells me that when I'm happiest, I get out of being an INTJ, and become my Jungian shadow -- an ESFP

I think I'm gonna get the hell off the internet and start being that guy again. Somehow, that dude was more alive.

[Haphazard]

I had a moment of 'losing myself' today.

I had a lot of blood drawn yesterday and after sprinting I was trying to read some of my history book. I was reading the same paragraph over and over and over again and I couldn't understand what it was trying to tell me. The inner voice wasn't being helpful and explaining what it was supposed to mean. And I just kept reading the paragraph for a good five minutes.

I don't like losing myself. That was a very unpleasant experience.

[deepFlow]

I would like to lose myself (temporarily at least).

It seems as though it would be nice to not be so conscious of the self all the time. The introverted thing gets old and dull.

I don't know if I remember any time where I wasn't positioning at least part of my consciousness outside of myself, to watch myself doing whatever it was. It'd be cool if I could switch that off and forget I'm me, and just do something.

But every single little activity seems to have to be framed by "me doing it". It's really quite tedious and I get sick to death of myself.

It just occurred to me that it's kind of like being stuck around one of those people that is just talking about themselves non-stop, without stopping to talk about anything else, to let you get a word in edgewise, or just to stop talking period. I feel like I live with that person inside of my own head 24/7, and it's (in the words of Brian Regan) "meee Meeeee MEEEEEEEEE!"

[coffeeloverfreak]

I would like to lose myself (temporarily at least).

It seems as though it would be nice to not be so conscious of the self all the time. The introverted thing gets old and dull.

I don't know if I remember any time where I wasn't positioning at least part of my consciousness outside of myself, to watch myself doing whatever it was. It'd be cool if I could switch that off and forget I'm me, and just do something.

But every single little activity seems to have to be framed by "me doing it". It's really quite tedious and I get sick to death of myself.

It just occurred to me that it's kind of like being stuck around one of those people that is just talking about themselves non-stop, without stopping to talk about anything else, to let you get a word in edgewise, or just to stop talking period. I feel like I live with that person inside of my own head 24/7, and it's (in the words of Brian Regan) "meee Meeeee MEEEEEEEEE!"

Hehe, that reminds me of that scene in Before Sunrise... hang on, let me see if I can find the quote:
Jesse: Oh, yeah. Yeah. I know what you mean about wishing somebody wasn't there, though. It's just usually it's myself that I wish I could get away from. Seriously, think about this. I have never been anywhere that I haven't been. I've never had a kiss when I wasn't one of the kissers. You know, I've never, um, gone to the movies, when I wasn't there in the audience. I've never been out bowling, if I wasn't there, you know making some stupid joke. I think that's why so many people hate themselves. Seriously, it's just they are sick to death of being around themselves. Let's say that you and I were together all the time, then you'd start to hate a lot of my mannerisms. The way, uh, the way every time we would have people over, uh, I'd be insecure, and I'd get a little too drunk. Or, uh, the way I'd tell the same stupid pseudo-intellectual story again, and again. You see, I've heard all those stories. So of course I'm sick of myself. But being with you, uh, it had made me feel like I'm somebody else. You know the only other way to lose yourself like that is, um, you know, dancing, or alcohol, or drugs, and stuff like that.

Céline: Fucking?

Jesse: Fuh... Fucking? Yeah, that's one way, yeah.

:laugh:

[PolecatEZ]

Losing myself short-term (quick breaks) - smoking. In the military it was one of the few ways to get a break. My team finally ran a phoneline out to the smoke area at the suggestion of our section chief and squished that. Seriously, I would put that as the #1 reason I smoke, just to be able to process information without being bombarded by more for just 5 minutes.

Losing myself on general principle - never owned a cell phone until 2 years ago.

Losing myself for longer times to "unfuck my brain" - Putzing around building homes in Sims 2 or playing various tycoon games or city builders. I'll play more intense games only on a schedule after a request period like, "Babe, Call of Duty 4 comes out this week, you won't see me much this weekend."

Fortunately my wife is pretty understanding, but I'll be inside my head and she'll have to shout a lot. She takes advantage sometimes, changing her tone when talking about something important to sound like something inane and then telling me later everything I agreed to do.

[Mistress Corvidae]

Has anyone ever lost themselves; unintentionally, of course, through a relationship? I did, and boy did I have a hard time getting back.


I MAJORLY lost myself in a relationship. When I was a teen, I had my art, my cross-stitch, my reading- I had hobbies! But when I got together with someone, I lost all of that and put everything I had into being "Him and Me", no longer just Me. It took eight years, a wedding, and a university degree before I realized that I can be just "Me".

Now, a separation, new apartment, and gallons of tears later, I am rediscovering who I am. That person inside never left, she was just covered up for a while. Every day I try to quiet my mind and think "What do I want to do today?".

[httc1978]

so far, the most effective way that i can think of is really to get drunk.. i find that its the only way to set your mind not focused and not thinking along a straight line as it will always do..

[Nemesys]

I'm not sure that doing INTJ things like reading books, philosophizing, or listening to intense music qualifies as "losing yourself". It's getting more into yourself. Nothing at all wrong with that if it relaxes you, but more of the same isn't less of the same.

I don't know how to lose myself. Every time I've tried, he's always been able to find me.

[Fervency]

In my early 20s I use to go out and dance all night. I previously thought I needed to go out because I was under a lot of stress with work and college (and maybe I just felt frisky). But now that I've read this thread...I think dancing was so addicting to me at the time because I could lose myself. I could pretend that I was an extravert and I still didn't have to TALK OR LISTEN to anyone.

However, now that I'm almost 30 I basically detest the bar scene. I haven't been able to find a equal-replacement-activity for losing myself. *sigh*

[ceg6]

Working out. Not the cardio half though. That sucks. The weightlifting. I can concentrate on my muscles and body and form and the world around me just stops. I don't know if that qualifies as losing myself as much as being focused only on my physical self and not mental self.

[laughingbandit]

I usually read a good fantasy book, or sing, or write, or just sit and listen to music. Though I think it's harder for me to "lose myself" when the music has words, because then I hear the words, and I try to think about what the writer was thinking while writing the song, and that makes me snap back to myself.

[suzyk]

You can 'lose yourself' in music or books, it's like escaping reality. Every time I listen to a song, I immediately imagine a whole different world with different people/characters in it, and they're all dancing or doing some cool kung-fu fighting tricks. Yeah, it's weird, but it's fun. When I read books, I can easily visualize all the scenes, and I can 'see' the characters talking to each other, or doing something. My little voice never goes away, I like dissing it, which doesn't make sense in a way because I'm basically dissing myself.

[sriv]

When I read a book, I read with one eye, and look around with the other. I listen to music with one ear. I never will drink. I never lose.

[malefide]

For the purposes of answering this question, I'm going to interpret "losing yourself" as "turning off the constantly reasoning gears in my head".

What I do is this: I take three dice and roll them over and over until they all come up the same. This lets my mind rest. The deeper I am embroiled in my former patterns of thinking, the more dice I use.

[pinkroger]

I tend to like to lose touch with reality for a while. Just sit there and think about something, usually something important, for 30 minutes or so. It's like meditation in that you focus everything on that one thought, only vaguely aware of everything going on around you. I find this to be very relaxing, and It seems to be a nice way to get away from the "real world."

[Alcuin]

I watch any comedy starring Rob Schneider or Simon Pegg. :) I'm not too fond of most comedies and I don't show emotion well watching films in the theatre, but I absolutely lose it when I watch anything with these guys.

I also love mauling guys with blunt weapons in First Person Shooters.