corrupt a wish

[deicruxified]

hehehe i got this from another forum. we all know that wishes that come true are most of the time not perfect thus the game.

format

poster 1:
granted.
[destroys wish]
i wish [whatever your wish is]


example

poster 1: (first poster) i wish all i hear everyday is music
poster 2:
granted.
but the music is too loud your eardrums exploded and now you're deaf for all eternity!
i wish i'm eating a burrito...

blah blah

so let's start the ball rolling. i'm the first person so...

i wish i am in winter wonderland :)

[Solaris]

Granted

*poof* You are transported to the Adirondack Mountains. The snow is beautifully clinging to the trees. Flakes are floating in the air. The temperatures are plummeting at the sun sets. Problem. You forgot to pack your warm clothing for your snowshoe hike, and are now suffering horrible frostbite. You will certainly lose use of your fingers (thus ending most of the activities you enjoy).

I wish I could read minds.

[yondyr]

You'd be driven mad by the cacophany of illogical thoughts pounding your senses.

I wish I could teleport (it's 24 hours flying time to Europe for me)

[OmegaPsi]

Granted: But only you teleport [none of your clothes or belongings] AND you teleport 50 feet above the ground of your destination.

I wish to be Omniscient

[BadMojo]

Granted: But only you teleport [none of your clothes or belongings] AND you teleport 50 feet above the ground of your destination.

I wish to be Omniscient
Granted, but knowing the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42 does not help you much in your daily life. Plus, your greater knowledge makes you a pacifist and a hippie.

I wish God was my personal drinking buddy. (Which he already is btw.)

[pavman]

Granted, but knowing the answer to life, the universe and everything is 42 does not help you much in your daily life. Plus, your greater knowledge makes you a pacifist and a hippie.

I wish God was my personal drinking buddy. (Which he already is btw.)

Granted...however you knew he was a vengeful God! One night, you piss him off with your arrogant IxTx ways... you're banished to hell for all eternity because you told him you wanted to get with his mom.... ;D

I really don't wish for things ... I'm a realist ... so I'll just stop the thread here :irked: MUHAHAHAHAHA!

pavman added to this post, 4 minutes and 29 seconds later...

Fine...sheesh! I'm just tryin to have fun here...

I wish for my own deification so that I may control time and space and your miserable little mortal lives! Not to mention drinking with BadMojo...

[dandylion]

I wish for my own deification so that I may control time and space and your miserable little mortal lives! Not to mention drinking with BadMojo...

Granted, but just like in Bruce Almighty you'll never have your mind completely clear or completely to yourself; every second of every minute of the day, you'll have to hear the thoughts, whines, and prayers from every one on Earth.


I wish that I could be on a cruise ship right now enjoying a juicy steak.

[ElstonGunn]

I wish that I could be on a cruise ship right now enjoying a juicy steak.

Granted, plus a bonus wish of time travel. Enjoy your trip aboard the HMS Titanic.

I wish I won the lottery jackpot.

[James Revell]

I wish that I could be on a cruise ship right now enjoying a juicy steak.

Granted, but the steak is a bit too juicy and is fact raw and contaminated. You will be locked in your stateroom for the rest of the cruise with intestinal difficulties you really don't want described further...

I wish this would stop.





James Revell added to this post, 5 minutes and 9 seconds later...

Granted, plus a bonus wish of time travel. Enjoy your trip aboard the HMS Titanic.

I wish I won the lottery jackpot.

Crap, you posted right when I started writing my last message (and I dismissed an obvious Titanic-like idea). I'm checking on responses before submitting this time!

Granted, but your accountant runs off with the loot after forgetting to pay the taxes on the $51 million. You win an all expense paid trip to federal prison!!

I wish this would stop.

[OmegaPsi]

Granted, but the steak is a bit too juicy and is fact raw and contaminated. You will be locked in your stateroom for the rest of the cruise with intestinal difficulties you really don't want described further...

I wish this would stop.





James Revell added to this post, 5 minutes and 9 seconds later...



Crap, you posted right when I started writing my last message (and I dismissed an obvious Titanic-like idea). I'm checking on responses before submitting this time!

Granted, but your accountant runs off with the loot after forgetting to pay the taxes on the $51 million. You win an all expense paid trip to federal prison!!

I wish this would stop.

Granted: [OR IS IT!?]: Due to dandylions trip back into time, (s)he squashed a bug, thus eventually altering your opinion of this thread and wished for it to continue.

I wish I was in japan in the current time.

[deicruxified]

Granted: [OR IS IT!?]: Due to dandylions trip back into time, (s)he squashed a bug, thus eventually altering your opinion of this thread and wished for it to continue.

I wish I was in japan in the current time.

granted. as you were strolling down the kyoto gardens, a group of japanese male transvestites pinned you down and raped you **i'll leave the abhorrently graphic spectacle to your imagination**

i wish i'd have enough time to slack off

[denaria]

i wish i'd have enough time to slack off

Granted, you have all the time in world doing nothing but pushing up daisies from 6 feet underground.

I wish I could drink all the beer I want without weight gain or hangovers.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; but you grow an enormous beer-gut and are mistaken to be pregnant, thus you are transported to the nearest hospital for an emergency C-section and wake up post-surgery with a gigantic, unsightly abdominal scar - and completely sober

I'd like to race a Formula 1 race car.

[deicruxified]

Granted; but you grow an enormous beer-gut and are mistaken to be pregnant, thus you are transported to the nearest hospital for an emergency C-section and wake up post-surgery with a gigantic, unsightly abdominal scar - and completely sober

I'd like to race a Formula 1 race car.
granted. but the formula 1 race car is just a 2 inch toy car.

i wish i can fly

[rwyatt365]

granted. but the formula 1 race car is just a 2 inch toy car.

i wish i can fly
*whimper*

Granted; ...straight into the intake of an F-22 Raptor

I wish it would stop snowing!!

[deicruxified]

*whimper*

Granted; ...straight into the intake of an F-22 Raptor

I wish it would stop snowing!!

granted. now you live in the heart of sahara

i wish i'd turn into joey jordison's bath sponge XD

[pavman]

Granted. But you were lodged unexpectedly in his rectum, and now he has died. Unfortunately for you... they never took you out...

I wish I was Bill Gates 8D

You know, this reminds me of a forum on a BBS I used to frequent... it was called Free Association...and you basically post whatever the first thing is in your mind after the last person's post. Twas quite fun, but not really geared to modern-day forums...

[HackerX]

Granted. You are now William Gates, some unknown middle class worker from Sydney who always gets teased for having the same name as the multibillion dollar founder of Microsoft, but has little money of his own.

I wish the girl from my dreams was real.

[dandylion]

Granted. But since she is everything you could ever want, she's too predictable and you quickly tire of her presence. You have a fling with some random chick just for fun. Your dream girl finds out, and you two break up, leaving you back at square one.

I wish I had a refrigerator that contained every type of food I could ever want and automatically restocked itself every time I took something out.

[BadMojo]

Granted. You are now William Gates, some unknown middle class worker from Sydney who always gets teased for having the same name as the multibillion dollar founder of Microsoft, but has little money of his own.

I wish the girl from my dreams was real.

Granted, but the girl was infected by any sex related disease known to man. You two do the hanky panky, and you die a month later.

I wish for world peace! :cry:





BadMojo added to this post, 1 minutes and 5 seconds later...

Granted. But since she is everything you could ever want, she's too predictable and you quickly tire of her presence. You have a fling with some random chick just for fun. Your dream girl finds out, and you two break up, leaving you back at square one.

I wish I had a refrigerator that contained every type of food I could ever want and automatically restocked itself every time I took something out.

Granted, but all the food was poisoned!'

I wish for world peace! Twice!

[ssfanatic]

Granted!

But now that there is no war the need of military declines and armies become smaller, thus less people have jobs and less capital is being made, therefore the economy drops. Once this happens tarrifs are placed on imports so to support home grown goods and revolutions start popping up all over the world. Now instead of world peace you have internal chaos, but no world wars!@ ;)

I wish i was the wisest person to ever live...

[BadMojo]

Granted!

But now that there is no war the need of military declines and armies become smaller, thus less people have jobs and less capital is being made, therefore the economy drops. Once this happens tarrifs are placed on imports so to support home grown goods and revolutions start popping up all over the world. Now instead of world peace you have internal chaos, but no world wars!@ ;)

I wish i was the wisest person to ever live...
Granted! But because you now made everyone in the world seem a lot dumber. They now want to kill you.

I wish I had a divine singing voice!

[ssfanatic]

Granted! But because you now made everyone in the world seem a lot dumber. They now want to kill you.

I wish I had a divine singing voice!
NOw that you have a divine singing voice all of the gods/God are angry with you bec you can sing so well, so they smite you and you turn to dust.

I wish i could win this game!

[HackerX]

Granted... now you lost it:
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I wish I was a rock star

[dandylion]

Granted. Since you have to perform at so many concerts, you always have to hear the excessively loud music and the millions of fans screaming their devotion for you, and eventually this causes you to go deaf. One night you are walking along a dark alley by yourself and you unfortunately get jumped by people who hate rock stars because you never heard them coming.

I wish that the inner parts of my right eyebrow would grow damnit.

[ssfanatic]

Granted!

Now that your elbow works correctly you can complete that string of murders you have been planning for the last 5 years. Afterward, your only friend turns you in and you go to prison and drop the soap :scared:

I wish i had a PhD in Engineering Sciences...

[BadMojo]

Granted!

Now that your elbow works correctly you can complete that string of murders you have been planning for the last 5 years. Afterward, your only friend turns you in and you go to prison and drop the soap :scared:

I wish i had a PhD in Engineering Sciences...
Granted, but die in a car crash two days after you got it.

I wish I didn't have to go to work in an hour :S

[ShaiGar]

granted and now you're fired

I wish for the absolute power to be able to do anything that I have ever seen, heard about, or thought of, whether it was in the past, present or to take place in the future, Having my mind, body, soul and any part of my Self to be controlled solely by what I consider myself, in this world, the next, previous or any world existing, or that could come into existance (with the ability to define existance retroactively), without influence by any force either moral, divine, demonic, or emotional.

read that through and see if you can. a cookie for whoever obeys my wish to the letter and can corrupt it.

[yondyr]

Granted, you are now God with responsibility for all religions and human life on earth, holding within the palm of your hand the emotions, lives and futures of all things. How does that weight sit upon your shoulders?

I wish for a gift for languages.

[BadMojo]

granted and now you're fired

I wish for the absolute power to be able to do anything that I have ever seen, heard about, or thought of, whether it was in the past, present or to take place in the future, Having my mind, body, soul and any part of my Self to be controlled solely by what I consider myself, in this world, the next, previous or any world existing, or that could come into existance (with the ability to define existance retroactively), without influence by any force either moral, divine, demonic, or emotional.

read that through and see if you can. a cookie for whoever obeys my wish to the letter and can corrupt it.
Granted, but you forgot oblivion, and therefore you end up there and vanish.

I wish for a giant icecream.

[deicruxified]

Granted, but you forgot oblivion, and therefore you end up there and vanish.

I wish for a giant icecream.

granted. but you died of ice cream avalanche

i wish i couls sleep longer

[Solaris]

granted. but you died of ice cream avalanche

i wish i couls sleep longer

Granted! You sleep three more hours. However, you oversleep and miss a great promotion because of it.

I wish Valetine's Day was over already.

[ElstonGunn]

Granted! You sleep three more hours. However, you oversleep and miss a great promotion because of it.

I wish Valetine's Day was over already.

Granted, and the day will never be celebrated again. However, in its place, people begin celebrating Valentine's Week. And it starts this Monday, by the way.

I wish I had an infinite number of incorruptible wishes to use.

[rwyatt365]

Granted, but after you get to wish #3,492,458,218 you can't think of anything else to wish for and so you wish not to have any more wishes.

I wish that people weren't so stupid.

[pavman]

Granted.

Everyone becomes smart...in fact they become so smart that you look like a dim bulb compared to supernovas...eventually everyone else on the planet comes to the same conclusion: eliminate the dim bulb aka rwyatt365. Their vast intelligence gives them the foresight to see your pathetic life of misery, where you can't even do menial tasks anymore, is not worth living. They snuff you out in the name of progress and for the good of the People, and, lastly, to prevent you from ever spreading your obviously sub-par DNA to others and infecting the human race with a genetic disease...

pavman added to this post, 12 minutes and 52 seconds later...

I noticed this didn't seem like it was answered so...

I wish that the inner parts of my right eyebrow would grow damnit.

Granted.
Unfortunately...the inner parts have grown far too much and you went from hot to Sesame Street Bert over night. You now have a uni-brow and have succumbed to having to pay for treatments, which has left you much much poorer than you ever thought possible with regards to hair removal.

I wish for true love.... :p

[deicruxified]

I wish for true love.... :p
granted. you found your "soulmate" but your age gap is 60+... she's dead btw. soulmate on the literal sense

i wish for enlightenment :D

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you are now enlightened. The wisdom of the ages is at your behest. In fact, you become so enlightened that you discover that humanity is a flawed and despicable being, unworthy of existence - and so you construct a gigantic human disposal device to rid the earth of all mankind...including yourself.

I wish for all of the wealth of the world to be mine.

[deicruxified]

Granted; you are now enlightened. The wisdom of the ages is at your behest. In fact, you become so enlightened that you discover that humanity is a flawed and despicable being, unworthy of existence - and so you construct a gigantic human disposal device to rid the earth of all mankind...including yourself.

I wish for all of the wealth of the world to be mine.

granted. but there's nothing to buy anymore so your vault becomes a junkyard of "wealth"

i wish for an unlimited supply of tuna terriyaki

[Raven Queen]

granted. but there's nothing to buy anymore so your vault becomes a junkyard of "wealth"

i wish for an unlimited supply of tuna terriyaki

Granted. You are now stuck on an island with a mountain of dead tunafish and bottles of teriyaki sauce. They start rotting after a while.

I wish my exam results weren't going to come out.

[deicruxified]

Granted. You are now stuck on an island with a mountain of dead tunafish and bottles of teriyaki sauce. They start rotting after a while.

I wish my exam results weren't going to come out.

granted... because all your profs lost your exam papers and you have to take the exams again...

i wish this back pain is not caused by a possible slipped disc...

[Nyiah]

Granted. Your back pain is not caused by a possible slipped disc, instead it's caused by that chiropractor you went to the other day who actually had a fake license.

I wish I had a slave to do my bidding.

[Circe]

Granted but your slave eventually slips poison into your food, watches you die, and escapes.

I wish I had some chocolate. . .

[BlackHawk]

Granted. You are now encased in a 20-ton block of solid chocolate. You will suffocate and die in approximately 2 minutes . . . .

I wish I had a working auto-targeting kilowatt laser (see most recent xkcd- trebuchet) . . .

[HackerX]

Granted. You just forgot to stop it auto targetting you...

I wish I knew the last digit of pi

[pavman]

Granted. You just forgot to stop it auto targetting you...

I wish I knew the last digit of pi

Granted. Its 4.

I wish this thread would end. ;D

[Dream Weaver]

Granted. But another thread starts in its place and picks up where we left off.

I wish I had a time machine.

[dandylion]

Granted. You accidentally go too far back into time when time machines don't exist and you get stuck in that time forever.

I wish I could go on a shopping spree.

[ssfanatic]

Granted. You accidentally go too far back into time when time machines don't exist and you get stuck in that time forever.

I wish I could go on a shopping spree.
Granted!

You go on a shopping spree to a pawn shop in Mayberry. Tell Andy Griffith hes the man!

I wish i had the power to stop people from talking...

[pavman]

Granted.

You use your power wisely for a time, then, like the computers in The Terminator series, the powers grow to be intelligent, decide that they're better off without you, and crush you under the weight of your own loneliness.

I wish I won the World Poker Tour every year for the next 10 years... ;D

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you win and then immediately squander your winnings for each of those 10 years.

I wish my garden was the envy of the nation.

[pavman]

O.o that's alot of squanderin!

[ssfanatic]

Granted.

The next night you wake up to the smell of smoke :(

I wish that i had the strongest arm in baseball...

[BadMojo]

Granted.

You use your power wisely for a time, then, like the computers in The Terminator series, the powers grow to be intelligent, decide that they're better off without you, and crush you under the weight of your own loneliness.

I wish I won the World Poker Tour every year for the next 10 years... ;D

Granted, but after a good long run, you lose everything since you suddenly lost all your "talent".

I wish for a cool real size car that works, and doesn't put me in harms way of any account.





BadMojo added to this post, 1 minutes and 26 seconds later...

Granted.

The next night you wake up to the smell of smoke :(

I wish that i had the strongest arm in baseball...

Granted, but it's so big and strong that you can't actually throw with it... you just drag it along where ever you go.

I wish for a cool real size car that works, and doesn't put me in harms way of any account.

[ssfanatic]

Granted, but it's so big and strong that you can't actually throw with it... you just drag it along where ever you go.

I wish for a cool real size car that works, and doesn't put me in harms way of any account.

I hate idioms :(

Granted!
It has no engine therefore you never move and are never in harms way.

I wish for the ultimate smiley that means everything so i didnt have to look at the list every time.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; but the smiley shifts expressions so rapidly that it becomes an off-yellow blur which is completely indecipherable and meaningless.

I wish my laptop was faster.

[Nyiah]

Granted; but the smiley shifts expressions so rapidly that it becomes an off-yellow blur which is completely indecipherable and meaningless.

I wish my laptop was faster.

Granted! You bring your laptop in to those computer people, they attach some Goodyear tires and some freakin' sweet rims and your laptop's cruising at 90mph down the highway. Fastest laptop out there.

I wish I had a really, good dream.

[HackerX]

Granted, your dream is so vivid you never wake up from it.

I wish I was asleep right now

[deicruxified]

Granted, your dream is so vivid you never wake up from it.

I wish I was asleep right now

granted. you sleep soundly but then you will have to wait for the next toad to wake you up with a kiss.

i wish i never have to work in an 8-hour job :D

[ElstonGunn]

i wish i never have to work in an 8-hour job :D

Granted. Now you work at an 18-hour-per-day job.

I wish I could fly.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you now can fly. You are as free as a bird, climbing into the air. Higher and higher until you run out of oxygen in the thin upper atmosphere and pass out. Losing control, you crash into the Pacific Ocean and sink like a rock.

I wish someone would develop the perfect, fault-free operating system.

[BadMojo]

Granted, but the developer keeps it to himself

I wish I had a perfect ice cold beer (50cl) that isn't poisoned or fouled in any way.

[pavman]

Granted, but the developer keeps it to himself

I wish I had a perfect ice cold beer (50cl) that isn't poisoned or fouled in any way.

Granted. You drink your beer. Its good. It leaves a smile on your face. In fact, its the best dam beer ever made. Every other beer in the world pales in comparison, and because of that, you can never drink any other beer again...

I wish I had a harem of really hot women who worshiped me like a god and did all my laundry, cooking, cleaning, and umm... you know... every night ;D

[ElstonGunn]

I wish I had a harem of really hot women who worshiped me like a god and did all my laundry, cooking, cleaning, and umm... you know... every night ;D

Granted. For a few weeks, it's everything you could have hoped it would be. But then the women start to get jealous of each other, and somehow that's your fault because you're male. Then they smother you in your sleep and dump your carcass in a swamp.

I wish I could think of a clever or novel idea for a wish.

[ssfanatic]

Granted.
You think of a great wish and none of us can think of a response so we get jealous and you are banned from the forum.

I wish i could had all of the answers to every question.

[qwerty]

Granted, you're smarty pants answers earns you the disrespect of everyone who knows you, you become an outcast. Cold bitter and alone. Nothing is fun anymore because you can answer anything you put your mind to without making mistakes... You die, cold, bitter and alone, because you knew that love would never find you :} (evilgrin)

AND for this unanswered one:

I wish for a gift for languages.
Granted, now you understand what people really are saying about you behind your back

I wish you are all happy in your lives and that no harm comes to any of you

[ssfanatic]

Granted.

Now yuor are a suck up and no one likes you. You are now emotional and sacrifice your intellect to "make the world a better place" by saving the wales and the trees. A very sad fate for an INTJ :} (evil grin back!)

I wish that i could have a conversation with God if he exists.

[qwerty]

Granted.

Now yuor are a suck up and no one likes you. You are now emotional and sacrifice your intellect to "make the world a better place" by saving the wales and the trees. A very sad fate for an INTJ :} (evil grin back!)

I wish that i could have a conversation with God if he exists.

U mean ur stuck up :P I wished it for you and everyone else.

But your wish is granted. God tells you that he was having an off day when he made the human race and as a result of your knowledge everything in life becomes meaningless.

I wish that I had a robot that followed the three laws:
1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; but your robot can't count and can't keep the laws in the correct order and so destroys itself in order to stop making mistakes and killing humans - BTW, you were its first mistake.

I wish I owned my own tropical island.

[Circe]

Granted, but over the next few decades the oceans rise due to global warming and submerge your little tropical paradise, leaving you nothing more than a sandbar.

I wish I didn't have a paper to write right now.

[dandylion]

Granted. Instead, you have to do a research project that you have to present to the class for 15 minutes.

I wish I could get a refund from that stupid Jumper movie.

[ssfanatic]

Granted!
Your refund is the Jumper movie special edition. No cash or credit refunds...sorry :(

I wish my dog didnt crap in the house :angry:

[Dream Weaver]

Granted. He craps in your car now.

I wish I was an astronaut.

[dandylion]

Granted. The next morning, you step outside the front door and... whoops! Looks like your dog left you a chocolate present on the front step.

I wish I wouldn't zone out so much when I read books for school.


Oops, missed a post.

Granted. You fly into space, but just before you're about to land on the moon your spaceship gets hit by a meteor. Sucks to be you.

I wish my neighbors in the house to the right would drop dead.

[ssfanatic]

Granted.
They are found the next day and you are convicted of their murder and are given the death penalty.

I wish i could see for miles and miles. (and yes, i have been listening to the who :))

[ShaiGar]

*sigh* no cookies for the mentally lazy





ShaiGar added to this post, 2 minutes and 50 seconds later...

granted. but now you're seeing beyond the atmosphere and burn your eyes out on a star

[rwyatt365]

Shai, where's YOUR wish?!

...so I must resort back ssfanatic.

Granted; you can see for miles and miles, but your near-field vision is impaired so you trip over a crack in the sidewalk and split open your skull and die a horrible death.

I wish that spring wasn't so far away.

[ElstonGunn]

I wish that spring wasn't so far away.

Granted. Here, take this piece of coiled metal. If you keep it with you at all times, spring will never be far away.

I wish I wasn't so amused by lame puns like the one I made above.

[BlackHawk]

Granted. An angry Moderator shoots you because your bad puns are trashing the forum. Puns are no longer amusing when you are dead.

I wish I didn't have to write an English paper now.
edit: Darn, that's already been used . . .

I wish I could have pizza for dinner tonight.

[ssfanatic]

Granted.
You have pizza that has sardines, bbq sauce, mushrooms, mustard, and spoiled milk. mmmmm....good.

I wish that it would stop raining.

[dandylion]

Granted. It never rains again and water becomes so scarce you can't even take showers.

I wish I could surf and not drown or get eaten by a shark.

[HackerX]

Granted. You are now a supreme surfer of the internet, safe from all harm involved with water (in fact, you'll never be touched by water again, soon your friends will disown you because of the smell)

I wish I didn't have to sit through tomorrow's graduation ceremony

[ssfanatic]

Granted.
Whoever is graduating dies tonight, problem solved.

I wish i was good enough with a bow to be an Olympian.

[Solaris]

Granted.
Whoever is graduating dies tonight, problem solved.

I wish i was good enough with a bow to be an Olympian.

Granted. However, your competitor on your left isn't and you die from complications of an arrow wound through your eye.

I wish it was April 15th.

[dandylion]

I was it was, too...

Granted. April 15th comes so quickly that you forget to file your tax returns. This pisses off the IRS and they expect to be owed lots of money.

I wish my walls were blue.

[HackerX]

Granted. It's now April 15th, 1498.

People see you in the clothes you are wearing and carrying you off to burn you as a witch.


I wish my walls were blue.


Granted... your "walls" are now the deep blue sea, you drown as you slowly sink to the bottom of the ocean

I wish I could understand this code so I could modify it as needed

[Allie]

Granted. You modified the code and ended up decoding the program, which wasn't meant to be modified, causing the entire system to explode in your face and blind you. (sorry!!!)

I wish that my wishes are not granted.

[Solaris]

Granted. You modified the code and ended up decoding the program, which wasn't meant to be modified, causing the entire system to explode in your face and blind you. (sorry!!!)

I wish that my wishes are not granted.

Granted. Not granted. You disrupt the fabric of space and time, creating a continuous loop in which you are always typing that post. You try to kill yourself, and fail, because the loop begins again.

I wish I was over my anemia.

[qwerty]

granted... you are pumped full of normal blood without drainage and your eyeballs pop out of your head.

I wish I could turn off the world while I catch my breath.

[Latte]

Granted, but you are part of the world too, and as you turn it off you also stop, unable to turn it on again, frozen in a state of catching your breath.

I wish i could do anything with sheer willpower.

[pavman]

I wish i could do anything with sheer willpower.

Granted. Unfortunately, one night you had too much to drink, and got coaxed into using your will power against yourself by lifting a rock so large even God might have trouble with it. Too bad for you that your will power was stronger than your muscles...because now you and God are real tight.

I wish for world peas.

[deicruxified]

Granted. Unfortunately, one night you had too much to drink, and got coaxed into using your will power against yourself by lifting a rock so large even God might have trouble with it. Too bad for you that your will power was stronger than your muscles...because now you and God are real tight.

I wish for world peas.

granted. peas started to dominate the world and killed all the human beings including you.

i wish there's more soya milk in this bottle!!

[IFearAManOf1Book]

granted. the soya milk appears in the bottle, but the bottle has a crack in it and leaks everything everywhere.

I wish I could read for as long as I could possibly want, without any interruptions.

[Allie]

Granted. Not granted. You disrupt the fabric of space and time, creating a continuous loop in which you are always typing that post. You try to kill yourself, and fail, because the loop begins again.

I wish I was over my anemia.

Wait a sec. If wishes were usually granted, but turned out bad...and as a result, I don't want any of my wishes granted knowing that, then shouldn't I at least get a neutral to happy outcome since it's not granted...you mad genie!! ;D

granted. the soya milk appears in the bottle, but the bottle has a crack in it and leaks everything everywhere.

I wish I could read for as long as I could possibly want, without any interruptions.



Granted. You read so much for so long you lost touch with reality and became delusional.

I wish I am very happy (I am going to get a good ending darn it!).

[Dream Weaver]

I wish I am very happy (I am going to get a good ending darn it!).

Granted. But since you are a cold, unemotional INTJ :), those around you suspect some foul deed. You now spend the rest of your days in a padded room wearing a straitjacket.

I wish I got the lead role in my upcoming play.

[deicruxified]

Granted. But since you are a cold, unemotional INTJ :), those around you suspect some foul deed. You now spend the rest of your days in a padded room wearing a straitjacket.

I wish I got the lead role in my upcoming play.

granted. on the grand opening of the play, you have diarrhea and blurted all of 'em stinky chocolate on stage :D

i wish it won't take me long to think of another wish :D

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you instantaneously think of another wish...and then another. Soon you do nothing but think of wishes and fall into a comatose stupor.

I wish my office window overlooked the beach at Maui.

[pavman]

Granted; you instantaneously think of another wish...and then another. Soon you do nothing but think of wishes and fall into a comatose stupor.

I wish my office window overlooked the beach at Maui.

Granted. But now you can't get any work done because of all the temptation to go outside and enjoy life. You eventually get fired, are forced to sell your property, and end up one of those homeless guys who have lots of money in some far away land, but have been deemed too incompetent/mentally unstable to control it. You are a ward of the state and your favorite line is "Change mister?"

I wish my manager was able to coherently say what she means in 2 minutes, rather than babbling on and on and on for 20.

[ElstonGunn]

I wish my manager was able to coherently say what she means in 2 minutes, rather than babbling on and on and on for 20.

Granted. Now that she has so much extra time, she manically tried to fill it by doing something else. So comes over to see how you're doing. Got any plans for the weekend? What do you think of that new guy who just got hired here a week ago? Maybe we should have a Welcome New Guy party for him, with cake and conversation. Wouldn't that be fun? Hey, did you see that blah blah blah blah blah.....


I wish I had a nice big bottle of good scotch whisky.

[deicruxified]

Granted. Now that she has so much extra time, she manically tried to fill it by doing something else. So comes over to see how you're doing. Got any plans for the weekend? What do you think of that new guy who just got hired here a week ago? Maybe we should have a Welcome New Guy party for him, with cake and conversation. Wouldn't that be fun? Hey, did you see that blah blah blah blah blah.....


I wish I had a nice big bottle of good scotch whisky.
granted. but some old drunk in the bar grab your bottle of whisky and bashed it on your head.

i wish mom will forget to pay the next phone bill so we'll get our lines disconnected and i won't have to worry about being annoyed by ringing phones.

[dandylion]

Granted. The lines are disconnected. Your mom suffers a heart attack the next day and you try to call 911, but you can't because the phone doesn't work. And if you have any cell phones, they're out of batteries.

I wish I could go somewhere where it's snowing.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you are instantly transported to the Artic...without a coat or any other protective gear, or supplies. You freeze to death in an hour.

I wish I didn't have to pick up my daughter from work tonight.

[Lucid]

Granted. The lines are disconnected. Your mom suffers a heart attack the next day and you try to call 911, but you can't because the phone doesn't work. And if you have any cell phones, they're out of batteries.

I wish I could go somewhere where it's snowing.

Granted; you freeze to death while enjoying the snow in a leopard print thong and a pair of flippers. A picture of your frozen, thong-clad corpse is printed on the front page of the local paper the next day and copies are sent to your friends and family.

I wish this semester was over already.

Edit: oops, what happens when two people reply to the same wish??

[pavman]

Granted; you are instantly transported to the Artic...without a coat or any other protective gear, or supplies. You freeze to death in an hour.

I wish I didn't have to pick up my daughter from work tonight.

Granted.
Someone else picks her up and she is there when you get home.

Granted; you freeze to death while enjoying the snow in a leopard print thong and a pair of flippers. A picture of your frozen, thong-clad corpse is printed on the front page of the local paper the next day and copies are sent to your friends and family.

I wish this semester was over already.

Granted.
The school you go to was the target of massive suicide bombers...all of its records, all of the buildings, and all of the professors (nay, the entire school), no longer exists. The semester is indeed over, but then...so are you.

I wish I wasn't sooooo bored right now.

[rwyatt365]

Granted: you are no longer bored, you are excited - excited beyond the capacity of your heart to bear the strain. You collapse from a coronary thrombosis.

I wish I had a better wish than this!

[Lucid]

Granted.
Someone else picks her up and she is there when you get home.



Granted.
The school you go to was the target of massive suicide bombers...all of its records, all of the buildings, and all of the professors (nay, the entire school), no longer exists. The semester is indeed over, but then...so are you.

I wish I wasn't sooooo bored right now.

Granted; "Bubba," the serial raping ex-convict from across the street takes notice of you and you spend the next several hours in a very exciting struggle for the continued purity of your nether regions. (This is meant as a joke, not an insult)

I wish I had worn a different coat today.

[HackerX]

Granted; "Bubba," the serial raping ex-convict from across the street takes notice of you and you spend the next several hours in a very exciting struggle for the continued purity of your nether regions. (This is meant as a joke, not an insult)

I wish I had worn a different coat today.

Granted... your new fur coat attacts the attention of thousands of nearby hippies who soon bash you to death with their picket signs.

I wish I had another day off.

[Lucid]

Granted... your new fur coat attacts the attention of thousands of nearby hippies who soon bash you to death with their picket signs.

I wish I had another day off.

Granted, you now have every day off, but are soon consumed by boredom.

I wish that a non-ugly or creepy person would come and give me a very relaxing, yet not too relaxing and non-fatal or injury causing back rub which would ease the pain in my right shoulder.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; an incredibly handsome person stops by and gives you the most incredible back-rub that you've ever had. You are so relaxed that you fall into a deep sleep. Upon awaking, you discover that your masseur was actually an alien in a man-suit and he/it is sleeping peacefully next to you with a wry smile on his/its face. ;)

I wish I could type faster so others wouldn't beat me to making posts here.

[Lucid]

Granted; an incredibly handsome person stops by and gives you the most incredible back-rub that you've ever had. You are so relaxed that you fall into a deep sleep. Upon awaking, you discover that your masseur was actually an alien in a man-suit and he/it is sleeping peacefully next to you with a wry smile on his/its face. ;)

I wish I could type faster so others wouldn't beat me to making posts here.

:scared:


Damn, I thought I had an infallible one.

Granted; you can type so fast that no one else can post as fast as you. Your posts soon monopolize the forum, causing other members to become frustrated and lose interest. Eventually you're the only one left, a lone INTJ.

I wish I did not have to go to my next class, in which the teacher and many of the students are F-centric and with whom I find it difficult to deal.

[Solaris]

I wish I did not have to go to my next class, in which the teacher and many of the students are F-centric and with whom I find it difficult to deal.

Granted. You don't have to go to your next class (yeah free will!) However, a cluster of your classmates pass you in the hall later and: 1. Guilt you with the F-ness 2. Tell you what a truly amazing class you missed (and it was) 3. Hug you before parting ways

I wish my cat wouldn't meow so much.

[melon]

I wish my cat wouldn't meow so much.

Granted. A burgler walks into your house one night and steps on your cat's tail. Your cat doesn't meow and you don't wake up. The next day you wake up only to find that all of your belongings are gone.

I wish I didn't have so much schoolwork.

[dandylion]

Granted. All your teachers assign you only little to no homework, and it's all very easy so you never learn anything... and you fail all your exams.

I wish I'll have a really good dream tonight that doesn't involve me getting hurt, dying, waking up repeatedly during a dream, or never waking up again.

[ssfanatic]

Granted.
You dream is you see yourself lying in bed having a good dream. How calming.

I wish that i wasnt so hungry.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you aren't so hungry, in fact you're full...too full. You feel as if you have swallowed several bowling balls and a 50 gallon jug of water. It takes you weeks to start feeling hungry again.

I wish the clutch in my car hadn't self-destructed last night. :(

[Solaris]

Granted; you aren't so hungry, in fact you're full...too full. You feel as if you have swallowed several bowling balls and a 50 gallon jug of water. It takes you weeks to start feeling hungry again.

I wish the clutch in my car hadn't self-destructed last night. :(


Granted. The clutch worked fine, but your tranny malfunctioned. The malfunction occurred (sp?) at high speed, and caused damage to your engine when teeth from your gears began spewing into the engine compartment.

In addition to English, I wish I could also speak Korean, Spanish, French, and Russian fluently.

[Lucid]

Granted. The clutch worked fine, but your tranny malfunctioned. The malfunction occurred (sp?) at high speed, and caused damage to your engine when teeth from your gears began spewing into the engine compartment.

In addition to English, I wish I could also speak Korean, Spanish, French, and Russian fluently.

Granted; but you can only speak Korean to Russians, Russian to the Spanish and Spanish to the French, making English the only language you can actually communicate successfully in.

I wish I had a pina colada right now.

[Caramel]

I wish I had a pina colada right now.

Granted, but instead of coconut milk, there are actual coconuts in your glass. Some English blokes then come over and take away your coconuts for Monty Python & the Holy Grail part 2.

I wish I would invent something that would change the world.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you invent a giant world-diaper, unfortunately there's no one big enough to change the world using your diaper so it's a flop.

I wish my printer didn't make so much noise!

[pavman]

Granted. You now have the new Noiseless 5000. Like Lexmark, the ink is only half-full, it dries out really fast, and the cartridges are more expensive than the printer. To top it off, the Noiseless doesn't really print all that well...but it sure is quiet. Unfortunately, when you were audited by the IRS your printer ran out of ink in the middle of proving your innocence. Now you are spending lots of time with a really big guy named Bubba, enjoying a new, unconceivable level of the game: who's my bitch.

I wish the famous, beautiful, Battelstar Galactica star Tricia Helfer (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)would come over and give me lots of uninhibited lovin, if you know what I mean. ;)

[deicruxified]

Granted. You now have the new Noiseless 5000. Like Lexmark, the ink is only half-full, it dries out really fast, and the cartridges are more expensive than the printer. To top it off, the Noiseless doesn't really print all that well...but it sure is quiet. Unfortunately, when you were audited by the IRS your printer ran out of ink in the middle of proving your innocence. Now you are spending lots of time with a guy named Bubba, enjoying a new level of uninhibited games of who's my bitch.

I wish the famous, beautiful, BSG star Tricia Helfer (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)would come over and give me a little lovin, if you know what I mean. ;)
granted. but then tricia helfer has to attend to an important affair on the day you're supposed to meet so she proxies her tranny double.

i wish robert smith of the cure would change his hairdo

[pavman]

granted. but then tricia helfer has to attend to an important affair on the day you're supposed to meet so she proxies her tranny double.

i wish robert smith of the cure would change his hairdo

D00d, that's so not kewl. I mean, that doesn't grant my wish. You aren't following the rules foo. What part of I wish...would come over. Its not like I wished for her to setup an appointment with me... I invalidate your response and invalidate your wish. :thumbsup:

[deicruxified]

D00d, that's so not kewl. I mean, that doesn't grant my wish. You aren't following the rules foo. What part of I wish...would come over. Its not like I wished for her to setup an appointment with me... I invalidate your response and invalidate your wish. :thumbsup:

lol... it says... corrupt a wish hehehe we grant the wish and make some complications to make your wish not so perfect hehehe

:edit: on second thought.. i never actually granted it since she never came lol... my bad

ok... granted. but then as you were about to become intimate, barney comes and stashes tricia away

i wish robert smith of the cure would change his hairdo

[Dream Weaver]

Granted. He has no hair now.

I wish I was a fighter pilot.

[BadMojo]

Granted. He has no hair now.

I wish I was a fighter pilot.

Granted, but you fly into a seagull and crash right after takeoff.

I wish for a long, happy and perfect life.

[Solaris]

Granted, but you fly into a seagull and crash right after takeoff.

I wish for a long, happy and perfect life.

Granted. Your neighbor has a long, happy, and perfect life, which you must watch from your long, unhappy, imperfect life.

I wish somebody would run up and put their hand over my mouth everytime I'm about to say something stupid.

[dandylion]

Granted, but they never washed their hands...

I wish I knew the secret to cooking a good steak. ;D

[ShaiGar]

Shai, where's YOUR wish?!

...so I must resort back ssfanatic.

Granted; you can see for miles and miles, but your near-field vision is impaired so you trip over a crack in the sidewalk and split open your skull and die a horrible death.

I wish that spring wasn't so far away.
already put in an uncorruptable wish, that someone mangled trying to corrupt it.

[rwyatt365]

Granted, but they never washed their hands...

I wish I knew the secret to cooking a good steak. ;D
Granted; you know the secret to cooking a good steak, but not the ultimate, perfect, orgasmically delicious steak - that knowledge was granted to me and you must watch in envy from afar as I repeated cook such a meal, to the delight of all but you.

I wish I could eat that "ultimate steak" right now.

[Antares]

Granted; you know the secret to cooking a good steak, but not the ultimate, perfect, orgasmically delicious steak - that knowledge was granted to me and you must watch in envy from afar as I repeated cook such a meal, to the delight of all but you.

I wish I could eat that "ultimate steak" right now.

Granted, but it seems that the steak was poisoned (by secret agents conspiring against you) to the point where you would have to stay in the hospital for the rest of your life.

I wish for an 80 point IQ boost.

[Vojnik]

Granted, with your IQ you become smarter them your peers, you reap the rewards with new job opportunities and pay rises. Thus in the process your family and close friends become ever more distant due to your enhanced mental prowess.

I wish to be healthy, wealthy and wise.

[rwyatt365]

I wish to be healthy, wealthy and wise.
Granted; you are all of the above...however, incredibly short-lived and you die from an obscure tropical disease in 10 days.

I wish that my boss would stop dropping in on me all the time.

[deicruxified]

granted. your boss becomes to quiet all of a sudden. then payday comes and you got nothing so you confront your boss but he says no word at all.

i wish this back pain would disappear :)

[nickasummers]

granted, you are now paralyzed from the neck down.

i wish i had a 20x20x20 Rubik's cube in real life

[pavman]

Granted. But the one you received didn't look like the picture. It's the standard 9x9x9 but happens to be 20 yards x 20 yards x 20 yards. Much too large to fit anywhere in your home. To the chagrin of your friends and family, as you open the box on the front lawn, a slight tremor knocks the cube just enough to fall on you. Needless to say, its cheaper to just leave your corpse there than to bury you. Your family gets rich off of the giant Rubik's Cube's price of admission and go on to lead super-model-esq lives.

I wish my job were more challenging, had better pay, and gave me a sense of satisfaction.

[BadMojo]

Granted. But the one you received didn't look like the picture. It's the standard 9x9x9 but happens to be 20 yards x 20 yards x 20 yards. Much too large to fit anywhere in your home. To the chagrin of your friends and family, as you open the box on the front lawn, a slight tremor knocks the cube just enough to fall on you. Needless to say, its cheaper to just leave your corpse there than to bury you. Your family gets rich off of the giant Rubik's Cube's price of admission and go on to lead super-model-esq lives.

I wish my job were more challenging, had better pay, and gave me a sense of satisfaction.

Granted! But you are now a pornstar, and gets aids... and dies... Muhahahaha

I wish my car would work properly.

[Lucid]

Granted! But you are now a pornstar, and gets aids... and dies... Muhahahaha

I wish my car would work properly.

Granted; but your liver starts to malfunction.

I wish I was better at math.

[nickasummers]

granted, but you completely lose your ability to communicate with people... actually that might not be so bad...

I wish my wish wouldn't kill me this time!

[ElstonGunn]

granted, but you completely lose your ability to communicate with people... actually that might not be so bad...

I wish my wish wouldn't kill me this time!

Granted. This time your wish just drives you out to the middle of nowhere and leaves you for dead. But you don't die. You just get mauled by some bears or something. They chew your face off.


I wish that whoever corrupts this wish has their corruption corrupted and, rather than being applied to me (the wisher), it is applied to themselves (the corrupter) instead.

[dandylion]

Granted. I wish I could fly to Alaska... so I get on a plane, but it crashes. I die. You feel so guilty because you wanted this wish to apply to me and not yourself that your conscience eats away at you for 20 years. You think, "Why did I do this to Dandylion? Why? Why her?!?! WHY DO THE GOOD DIE YOUNG?!? It should've been me!!" So one day you can't take it anymore and you rent a private jet, fly to Alaska, and purposely crash it, thus killing yourself.

I wish I could have a perpetually fluffy pillow so that I would never have to fluff it ever again.

[lordrrr]

Granted. I wish I could fly to Alaska... so I get on a plane, but it crashes. I die. You feel so guilty because you wanted this wish to apply to me and not yourself that your conscience eats away at you for 20 years. You think, "Why did I do this to Dandylion? Why? Why her?!?! WHY DO THE GOOD DIE YOUNG?!? It should've been me!!" So one day you can't take it anymore and you rent a private jet, fly to Alaska, and purposely crash it, thus killing yourself.

I wish I could have a perpetually fluffy pillow so that I would never have to fluff it ever again.


Granted.
But the pillow fluffing is (and this has yet to be discovered by scientists) the only way human beings get excercise, so a perpetually fluffy pillow would nix the very way you burn fat and calories, and you immediatly swell up and 3 days later you die.
I wish I had a girlfriend :/.

[BadMojo]

Granted.
But the pillow fluffing is (and this has yet to be discovered by scientists) the only way human beings get exercise, so a perpetually fluffy pillow would nix the very way you burn fat and calories, and you immediately swell up and 3 days later you die.
I wish I had a girlfriend :/.

Granted, your girlfriend is a former Soviet weight lifting champion that looks like an ogre. She often use the phrase "Kiss me or I'll crush you". Btw. She will never let you go.

I wish that I would get a long happy and perfect life!

[lordrrr]

Granted, your girlfriend is a former Soviet weight lifting champion that looks like an ogre. She often use the phrase "Kiss me or I'll crush you". Btw. She will never let you go.

I wish that I would get a long happy and perfect life!

Granted.
But such a life would take away the point of life, the point of life that being which is presented by difficulty, so in the end the happiness gets cancelled out and you go into uber depression; unfortuantly for you, you also asked for a long life so you have to live a long life being uber depressed to the point of unimaginable and psychotic madness.

I wish I had Bioshock (I've played it before but I need to buy it).

[dandylion]

Granted.
But the pillow fluffing is (and this has yet to be discovered by scientists) the only way human beings get excercise, so a perpetually fluffy pillow would nix the very way you burn fat and calories, and you immediatly swell up and 3 days later you die.

Death by pillows? :scared:


I wish I had Bioshock (I've played it before but I need to buy it).

Granted. But you end up becoming obsessed with the game, so much that it consumes you completely; you live for nothing else. You don't work, so there's no income. Your parents refuse to feed you and disown you because they're so ashamed... yet you go on playing. Eventually you keel over and die from lack of nutrients. Fun.

I wish I could get a quality, cream-colored shag rug at a reasonable price.

[lordrrr]

Death by pillows? :scared:



Granted. But you end up becoming obsessed with the game, so much that it consumes you completely; you live for nothing else. You don't work, so there's no income. Your parents refuse to feed you and disown you because they're so ashamed... yet you go on playing. Eventually you keel over and die from lack of nutrients. Fun.

I wish I could get a quality, cream-colored shag rug at a reasonable price.

Granted.
But the rug will make it 110% positive you will never get laid in your life.

I wish I had a time machine.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you have a time machine. It's made by Timex. You can easily wear it on your wrist. Oh, you meant a machine that allows you to travel in time?! My bad.

I wish that all newscasts were limited to one repitition of the day's news, instead of inanely rehashing the same story over, and over ad infinitum ("...and so Bob, what do you think about tonight's top story?").

[nickasummers]

Granted; you have a time machine. It's made by Timex. You can easily wear it on your wrist. Oh, you meant a machine that allows you to travel in time?! My bad.

I wish that all newscasts were limited to one repitition of the day's news, instead of inanely rehashing the same story over, and over ad infinitum ("...and so Bob, what do you think about tonight's top story?").

Granted, they repeat yesterday's news instead.

But you end up becoming obsessed with the game...
You suck... I just lost the game (losethegame.com)

I wish I could forget about "The Game" forever!

[ElstonGunn]

I wish I could get a quality, cream-colored shag rug at a reasonable price.

Granted.
But the rug will make it 110% positive you will never get laid in your life.

Oh, I thought it was a shag rug in the English sense of the word "shag." :laugh:



Granted, they repeat yesterday's news instead.


You suck... I just lost the game (losethegame.com)

I wish I could forget about "The Game" forever!

Granted. Five years from now, someone will ask you about The Game, and you won't know what the hell they're talking about. You win, but you don't know how, why, or what you won, so it's kind of pointless.


I wish that the next wish made will be more entertaining than this one.

[dandylion]

Granted.
I wish a giant chocolate cake would be delivered to my house, and when I open it, a male stripper will jump out and "entertain" me for days. ;) But it's only entertaining to me and not to anyone else.

[pavman]

Granted.
I wish a giant chocolate cake would be delivered to my house, and when I open it, a male stripper will jump out and "entertain" me for days. ;) But it's only entertaining to me and not to anyone else.

Granted. However, you didn't realize Max, the overweight, mid-50s male stripper, would be in the cake. Now you're stuck with his cigar smoking, bald, beer-drinking, belching a$$ until his john err... pimp ... err ... handler can come get him.

I wish all of the wishes in the world were mine until the end of time.

[Lucid]

Granted. However, you didn't realize Max, the overweight, mid-50s male stripper, would be in the cake. Now you're stuck with his cigar smoking, bald, beer-drinking, belching a$$ until his john err... pimp ... err ... handler can come get him.

I wish all of the wishes in the world were mine until the end of time.

Granted; all of the wishes in the world come true for you, however the several thousand times over paradox this creates causes you to experience spontaneous existence failure.

I wish I could both play Tabula Rasa and go to my friend's party this evening. :cool:

[dandylion]

Granted. You get to play Tabula Rasa AT your friend's party. However, because of this, everyone thinks you're a total loser so after the party, they never invite you to any more parties because they don't want to be seen in close proximity to you.

I wish I had a personal slave to do all my work for me.

[pavman]

Granted. You get to play Tabula Rasa AT your friend's party. However, because of this, everyone thinks you're a total loser so after the party, they never invite you to any more parties because they don't want to be seen in close proximity to you.

I wish I had a personal slave to do all my work for me.

Granted. Your personal slave is wonderful. Heshe does whatever you say. Until one day... far into the future...when your slave gets jealous of your freedom and secretly contacts the government, who promptly arrests you and throws in jail for the remainder of your life. Didn't you know? Indentured servitude and slavery are illegal where you live. Oh well, better luck next slave!

I wish I didn't have to work every freakin' weekend without over-time pay and that I continued to keep my job, and get a big honkin' raise.

[ssfanatic]

Granted.
You work every other weekend, and your car gets a three inch raise and a new, louder horn. Have fun muddin!:cowboy:

I wish i could travel at 97% the speed of light, and also travel at normal human speed when desired.

[pavman]

Granted.
You can now travel at 97% the speed of light. Unfortunately for you...the first time you tried it you overshot your destination, and upon exiting the earth's atmosphere, you very very quickly died as you crisped up in the untethered reaches of space. The good news: You're still traveling 97% the speed of light and your lifeless body has passed a lot of really neat space junk :thumbsup:

I wish people were easier to understand and control. ;D

[Lucid]

Granted.
You can now travel at 97% the speed of light. Unfortunately for you...the first time you tried it you overshot your destination, and upon exiting the earth's atmosphere, you very very quickly died as you crisped up in the untethered reaches of space. The good news: You're still traveling 97% the speed of light and your lifeless body has passed a lot of really neat space junk :thumbsup:

I wish people were easier to understand and control. ;D

Granted; now people are as RC cars to you. However, like RC cars they quickly lose their fascination and appeal, causing you to leave them unused and dusty in the garage for years at a time.

I wish I was not so stressed about school so that I could have gone to sleep 2 hours ago and wake up in the morning well rested.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you went to sleep 2 hours ago, but now you're awake...wishing you went to sleep 2 hours ago. And so on, stuck in an endless paradoxical loop of sleep / wake / wish. In that eternal cycle you are well...rested.

I wish I would immediately get a new job in a sub-tropical locale, working for a company that only hires beautiful, exotic women who all find me completely irresistable and all of whom throw themselves shameless at me to do with as I so please.

[Caramel]

But that isn't possible Rwyatt365. If that company only hires beautiful, exotic women, then they cannot hire you. =(

[rwyatt365]

But that isn't possible Rwyatt365. If that company only hires beautiful, exotic women, then they cannot hire you. =(
I got in because of "affirmative action"! ;D :thumbsup:

[ssfanatic]

Granted; you went to sleep 2 hours ago, but now you're awake...wishing you went to sleep 2 hours ago. And so on, stuck in an endless paradoxical loop of sleep / wake / wish. In that eternal cycle you are well...rested.

I wish I would immediately get a new job in a sub-tropical locale, working for a company that only hires beautiful, exotic women who all find me completely irresistable and all of whom throw themselves shameless at me to do with as I so please.
THey hire you, but on finding out you are a guy, and not an exotic woman, you are fired. Sad life.

I wish that i could breath under water and above water at will.

[Zirka]

THey hire you, but on finding out you are a guy, and not an exotic woman, you are fired. Sad life.

I wish that i could breath under water and above water at will.

Granted. However, you are now stuck in small airtight room, and die due to oxygen deprivation.

I wish I could get perfect on each of the four tests that I will be writing this week, and that my lab report wrote it self.... with all the correct answers of course.

[Lucid]

Granted. However, you are now stuck in small airtight room, and die due to oxygen deprivation.

I wish I could get perfect on each of the four tests that I will be writing this week, and that my lab report wrote it self.... with all the correct answers of course.

Granted; your test scores are each perfect and your lab report writes itself and has all the correct answers. You are the only student to get a perfect 100% on each of the tests and the lab report in decades. As a result you are investigated for academic dishonesty. The fact that your lab report wrote itself is discovered and you are expelled for turning in work you didn't do as your own.

I wish I had a good book to read.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; your test scores are each perfect and your lab report writes itself and has all the correct answers. You are the only student to get a perfect 100% on each of the tests and the lab report in decades. As a result you are investigated for academic dishonesty. The fact that your lab report wrote itself is discovered and you are expelled for turning in work you didn't do as your own.

I wish I had a good book to read.
Granted; you get your very own, personalized Bible (the "Good Book"), enjoy!

I wish that CNN would stop it's incessant election "news" coverage (or should I say "election drivel coverage").

[deicruxified]

granted. now cnn does not cover elections but some cheesy mexican soap opera.

i wish the admin would turn the room temperature to a very humane 27 degrees celsius (it's fucking cold here).

[ssfanatic]

Granted.
But the furnace breaks and now you are stuck with an even colder room.

I wish that my shower had infinite hot water.

[Gabrielle]

I wish that my shower had infinite hot water.


Granted. But it's scorching hot water.

I wish I could ace the exams without any studying.

[ssfanatic]

Granted. But it's scorching hot water.

I wish I could ace the exams without any studying.
Granted.
You become amazing at serving a tennis ball and ace the exams with every serve.

I wish i could finish my DBQ in an hour tops.

[pavman]

Dag nabit...

Granted. Wtf is a DBQ? Is that like a Dairy Queen Barbecue?? Umm, you finish your DBQ in record time. In fact, it was so fast that everyone thinks you cheated, and they've asked you to take an oral version of the DBQ so there can be no misunderstanding.

I wish my friend wouldn't be so last minute, fickle, and indecisive. I wish she could learn to either love me and worship me like a god or leave me the hell alone. I wish, for one moment, she could become an INTJ and make a decision, rather than wallow in her INTP indecisiveness.

Yeah yeah, its like 3 wishes...blah blah blah.

[Gabrielle]

Dag nabit...

Granted. Wtf is a DBQ? Is that like a Dairy Queen Barbecue?? Umm, you finish your DBQ in record time. In fact, it was so fast that everyone thinks you cheated, and they've asked you to take an oral version of the DBQ so there can be no misunderstanding.

I wish my friend wouldn't be so last minute, fickle, and indecisive. I wish she could learn to either love me and worship me like a god or leave me the hell alone. I wish, for one moment, she could become an INTJ and make a decision, rather than wallow in her INTP indecisiveness.

Yeah yeah, its like 3 wishes...blah blah blah.

DBQ = Document Based Question. Basically you get quotes and have to write an essay with a given proposition with evidences pulled from the quotes. I remember getting bored with it during my AP exams :P

Granted. But she decides to annoy you just for the hell of it.

I wish I was back home instead of at school :(

[ssfanatic]

Dag nabit...

Granted. Wtf is a DBQ?

Ooops. I wasnt thinking. Its a Document Based Question. Its a an opinionated question asked that you must give evidence of with primary sources that are provided. No fun at all.

[Solaris]

DBQ = Document Based Question. Basically you get quotes and have to write an essay with a given proposition with evidences pulled from the quotes. I remember getting bored with it during my AP exams :P

Granted. But she decides to annoy you just for the hell of it.

I wish I was back home instead of at school :(

Granted. Now you live at home while you attend school, your parents drive you crazy with intrusive requests and you fail out.

I wish this freaking head cold would go away. I miss breathing out of my nostrils and swallowing without pain.

[rwyatt365]

Granted: your head cold has vanished. You can breathe easily and swallow without discomfort...except now you have a viral infection and a raging fever that keeps you bedridden and horribly uncomfortable.

I wish my wife weren't so suspicious and would stop checking up on my whereabouts like I was a 5 y/o kid.

[Lucid]

Granted: your head cold has vanished. You can breathe easily and swallow without discomfort...except now you have a viral infection and a raging fever that keeps you bedridden and horribly uncomfortable.

I wish my wife weren't so suspicious and would stop checking up on my whereabouts like I was a 5 y/o kid.

Granted; now your wife is not suspicious, however she never lets you out of her sight, much like she would a 2 year old kid.

I wish I needed only 5 hours of sleep a night.

[Dream Weaver]

Granted. But you can't figure out what to do with the extra time and go crazy with boredom.

I wish I was working in the wood shop right now.

[deicruxified]

Granted: your head cold has vanished. You can breathe easily and swallow without discomfort...except now you have a viral infection and a raging fever that keeps you bedridden and horribly uncomfortable.

I wish my wife weren't so suspicious and would stop checking up on my whereabouts like I was a 5 y/o kid.

granted.... because you got a hawty mr universe as a new neighbor.

i wish the hills are alive with the sound of music... blah blah

[Antares]

granted.... because you got a hawty mr universe as a new neighbor.

i wish the hills are alive with the sound of music... blah blah

Granted; the hills are now 'alive' and 'after you' chorusing deafening heavy metal. You go deaf and eventally the hills 'catch up' with you and consumes you whole.

I wish I can write beautifully with my left hand.

[pavman]

Granted. But she decides to annoy you just for the hell of it.


You don't realize how true this is! She does this all the time just for fun...that's half the reason I love this woman ;)

Granted; the hills are now 'alive' and 'after you' chorusing deafening heavy metal. You go deaf and eventally the hills 'catch up' with you and consumes you whole.

I wish I can write beautifully with my left hand.

Granted. You now can write beautifully with your left hand. However, now that you have become ambidextrous, every time you sit down to do anything you take 20 minutes to figure out which hand would be best to use.

I wish I had a steady supply of multiple streams of income so I could have more time on my hands and be able to golf everyday...

[DeadSpace]

I wish I had a steady supply of multiple streams of income so I could have more time on my hands and be able to golf everyday...

Granted, you are the new owner of the first siberian golf course/senior citizen sexual dysfunction clinic. Requiring only a few hours a day of treating patients from around the world...the rest of the time you are free to golf (and try to forgot those early hours of 'treatment')

I wish for a wish that can't be granted...that's unfair though

i wish for second chances in everything

[deicruxified]

Granted, you are the new owner of the first siberian golf course/senior citizen sexual dysfunction clinic. Requiring only a few hours a day of treating patients from around the world...the rest of the time you are free to golf (and try to forgot those early hours of 'treatment')

I wish for a wish that can't be granted...that's unfair though

i wish for second chances in everything

granted. you got a shot at the lottery and won the jackpot (489M pounds) but then time rewinds for you to take a second chance on betting 6 numbers again and after that, the balls were drawn... you lost.

i wish it's friday. because saturday, wait and sunday always comes too late but friday, never hesitate... i don't care if monday's black tuesday, wednesday - heart attack thursday, never looking back it's friday, i'm in love

oh gawddemmit...

i wish no song is stuck in my head...

[rwyatt365]

Granted. But you can't figure out what to do with the extra time and go crazy with boredom.

I wish I was working in the wood shop right now.
Didn't mean to snub you, so...
Granted; you are now working...in the shop made of wood...doing unspeakable things to small animals and young children.

Granted; the hills are now 'alive' and 'after you' chorusing deafening heavy metal. You go deaf and eventally the hills 'catch up' with you and consumes you whole.

I wish I can write beautifully with my left hand.
Granted; you can now write beautifully with your left hand - but only in Sanskrit.

I wish that the days were longer so that I could go to work in daylight and come home in daylight.

[deicruxified]

Granted; you can now write beautifully with your left hand - but only in Sanskrit.


RLMAOF... OWNED!!

[Gabrielle]

I wish that the days were longer so that I could go to work in daylight and come home in daylight.

Granted: But now it is daylight 24/7, giving you no respite and no night.

I wish I had uber-high metabolism so I will never gain weight.

[nickasummers]

granted: you have such a high metabolism that you have to spend all your time eating to stay alive at the complete exclusion of anything else. see you later.

I wish for a hot girl that would come over just to mess around with me whenever I wanted.

[Lucid]

granted: you have such a high metabolism that you have to spend all your time eating to stay alive at the complete exclusion of anything else. see you later.

I wish for a hot girl that would come over just to mess around with me whenever I wanted.

Granted; but she also wants to talk about her feelings and asks you if she's pretty.

I wish there were 30 hours in a day so I could do something other than schoolwork once in awhile.

[Antares]

Granted; but she also wants to talk about her feelings and asks you if she's pretty.

I wish there were 30 hours in a day so I could do something other than schoolwork once in awhile.

Granted, but only you had 30 hours in one day. You slowly watch everyone age and die faster than you, yourself becoming an outcast because you age slower than usual.

I wish I can fly.

[Chainsaw Dundee]

Granted. Here is 1 airline ticket to Mexico City.

I wish for nothing.

[Lucid]

Granted, but only you had 30 hours in one day. You slowly watch everyone age and die faster than you, yourself becoming an outcast because you age slower than usual.

I wish I can fly.

This actually doesn't sound so bad. I'll take it.

[Wapiti]

Granted. Here is 1 airline ticket to Mexico City.

I wish for nothing.

Nothing is granted, I have plenty of nothing to give.

I wish to redo the last 17 years of my life.

[Antares]

Nothing is granted, I have plenty of nothing to give.

I wish to redo the last 17 years of my life.

Granted. You went back 17 years in time. When you reach this time, however, you wished for the same thing and it goes on. A perfect circle.

I wish that my origami crane would suddenly float.

[Wapiti]

Granted. You went back 17 years in time. When you reach this time, however, you wished for the same thing and it goes on. A perfect circle.

I wish that my origami crane would suddenly float.

Granted, your origami crane suddenly floats. It gets out of your reach to the point that you go to grab it and fall in to the lake it is floating in and drowned. Life is over as you know it and you wind up in the ever after, whatever that is.

I wish I would go to bed, I haven't stayed up this late in years.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; You go to bed but you do not sleep. You are, in fact, trapped in your bed - unable to get up...ever. You waste away from starvation and dehydration in a pool of your own filth.

I wish I had another banana nut muffin!

[Lucid]

Granted; You go to bed but you do not sleep. You are, in fact, trapped in your bed - unable to get up...ever. You waste away from starvation and dehydration in a pool of your own filth.

I wish I had another banana nut muffin!

Granted; you have another banana nut muffin. However, you are immediately consumed with regret for wasting a wish on something you could have gone to the store for.

I wish I did not have to shovel my car out of the snow tonight.

[nickasummers]

granted, your car is now broken, so there is no reason to shovel it out.

i wish i didn't have a social phobia

[Gabrielle]

granted, your car is now broken, so there is no reason to shovel it out.

i wish i didn't have a social phobia

Granted. But now you're so social that you don't do anything else, thereby not having any time to study and failing all subjects.

I wish I knew the answer to every single exam question I faced.

[nickasummers]

granted, you develop such a great fear of exams that you never face another exam question

i wish splinter cell was first person.

[deicruxified]

granted, you develop such a great fear of exams that you never face another exam question

i wish splinter cell was first person.

granted. you are the first to play splinter cell virtual reality. just as when you are a breath away to pull the trigger, you feel an icy-cool slashing in your throat. too bad whatever happens in the game, happens in reality.

i wish it's already lunch time

[Universe]

granted. you are the first to play splinter cell virtual reality. just as when you are a breath away to pull the trigger, you feel an icy-cool slashing in your throat. too bad whatever happens in the game, happens in reality.

i wish it's already lunch time

*granted*
It's time for lunch, but all you can eat is what appears to be fruit cake and raisins. You decide to eat the raisins, but later discover they are rat fecies, not raisins.

I wish I had a cold mountain dew.

[ssfanatic]

Granted!
But it has a cockroach in it. Yucky!

I wish that my baseball team would win the rest of the games in our season.

[pavman]

Granted!
But it has a cockroach in it. Yucky!

I wish that my baseball team would win the rest of the games in our season.

Granted. You win the rest of the games in your season; however, the victory is short lived as your method of transportation is utterly destroyed by a drunken garbage man on your way home from the festivities.

I wish your mom would stop coming over just for sex. ;D

[deicruxified]

Granted. You win the rest of the games in your season; however, the victory is short lived as your method of transportation is utterly destroyed by a drunken garbage man on your way home from the festivities.

I wish your mom would stop coming over just for sex. ;D

granted. now my dad comes over to give you an ass blast...

i wish for chocolate pretzelzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Antares]

granted. now my dad comes over to give you an ass blast...

i wish for chocolate pretzelzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Granted; but you choke to death on the chocolate pretzel

I wish that people would stop corrupting my wishes.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you wishes are no longer corrupted, just your dreams. Now you can't sleep at night.

I wish this impending snowstorm would fizzle out and go away.

[Antares]

Granted; you wishes are no longer corrupted, just your dreams. Now you can't sleep at night.

I wish this impending snowstorm would fizzle out and go away.

Granted, but the snowstorm you just wished away was actually a weaker one. To balance it out, a stronger one replaced it and now your car is buried under three stories of snow. Have fun! ;)

I wish that every attempt to corrupt my wishes OR dreams end up null and void.

[rwyatt365]

Granted, but the snowstorm you just wished away was actually a weaker one. To balance it out, a stronger one replaced it and now your car is buried under three stories of snow. Have fun! ;)

I wish that every attempt to corrupt my wishes OR dreams end up null and void.
Granted; now all of your wishes AND dreams are null, or void! Enjoy...:thumbsup:

I wish I had more tea!

[Solaris]

Granted; now all of your wishes AND dreams are null, or void! Enjoy...:thumbsup:

I wish I had more tea!

Granted, you have 6 more cups of tea. You drink it all. Now, having drunk so much tea, you need to pee. You rush into the bathroom only to find that somebody has made a terrible, disgusting, gag-reflex inducing mess in there. You are at work. You are trapped.

I wish I knew all the constellations in the sky.

[nickasummers]

Granted, you have 6 more cups of tea. You drink it all. Now, having drunk so much tea, you need to pee. You rush into the bathroom only to find that somebody has made a terrible, disgusting, gag-reflex inducing mess in there. You are at work. You are trapped.

I wish I knew all the constellations in the sky.

granted, all the stars int he univers disapear, you now know all the constialtions, but the earth freezes as the sun is gone too.

i wish i was not stuck at school right now.

[Gabrielle]

granted, all the stars int he univers disapear, you now know all the constialtions, but the earth freezes as the sun is gone too.

i wish i was not stuck at school right now.

Granted. Now you can't come to school at all.

I wish my bank account balance just increased and never decreased.

[deicruxified]

Granted. Now you can't come to school at all.

I wish my bank account balance just increased and never decreased.

granted. you got a time deopsit account and you can't touch it for 50 years. well at least your money is growing. then came the 50th year when you finally got the message you can withdraw them, you are so happy you wanted to jump high but as you land, you shatter your bones... too bad you're too old to jump... you now die... no one touches your growing money.

i wish i was the one who corrupted rwyatt's wish

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you corrupted my wish, but no one paid attention. You have been relegated to forum obscurity and sulk away in disgrace and shame.

I wish for an incorruptible wish!

[Antares]

I wish I knew all the constellations in the sky.

I DO know all the constellations in the sky ;)

Granted; you corrupted my wish, but no one paid attention. You have been relegated to forum obscurity and sulk away in disgrace and shame.

I wish for an incorruptible wish!

Granted; incorruptible, but not unalterable, therefore your wish has been altered into a corruptible wish, and every woe in the world descended upon you.

I wish for people to ignore this post and continue to ceaselessly corrupt rwyatt365's wishes.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; your post is ignore, along with it's wish to corrupt my wishes. Therefore my wishes remain uncorrupted!

I wish that I hadn't spun out (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) this morning in the snow on the way to work. :embarassed:

[Lucid]

Granted; your post is ignore, along with it's wish to corrupt my wishes. Therefore my wishes remain uncorrupted!

I wish that I hadn't spun out (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) this morning in the snow on the way to work. :embarassed:

Granted, instead of merely spinning out you rolled your vehicle or mode of transport instead. Fortunately you were unharmed, however you will now have to deal with the tow truck, the insurance, the finding of a new vehicle or mode of transport, and the shame of having rolled your car.

I wish for the power to make people see any argument from the opposite side they are on, to be used at will and at my discression.

[nickasummers]

Granted, but they still stubornly stick to their original opinion and get mad at you for trying to manipulate them.

I wish my school's computers didnt work right. (Actualy, my wish has already been granted. Yay!)

[pavman]

Granted, but they still stubornly stick to their original opinion and get mad at you for trying to manipulate them.

I wish my school's computers didnt work right. (Actualy, my wish has already been granted. Yay!)

Granted. You attempt to use your schools computers, and everytime you touch the keyboard, something starts smoking in the case and they short out. Unfortunately, your cursed touch affects all electronics, and not just your school computers. Needless to say, this makes modern life very difficult for you and eventually you are shunned to live a life of hermetic solitude, off the grid, never to be heard from again.

I wish that for once I could get a sick day or a snow day (since I work from home, its rare).

[rwyatt365]

Granted. You attempt to use your schools computers, and everytime you touch the keyboard, something starts smoking in the case and they short out. Unfortunately, your cursed touch affects all electronics, and not just your school computers. Needless to say, this makes modern life very difficult for you and eventually you are shunned to live a life of hermetic solitude, off the grid, never to be heard from again.

I wish that for once I could get a sick day or a snow day (since I work from home, its rare).
Granted; you get a sick, AND a snow day - on the same day, at the same time. Unfortunately, it's on the day that you are interviewing a new client at "Dirty Diapers R Us" at their massive new facility in Bumfuck Egypt. There's a freak snowstorm and you are trapped there for a week surrounded by poopy diapers, and very friendly Egyptians with bad teeth.

I wish I could finish my project portfolio this week.

[Lucid]

Granted; you get a sick, AND a snow day - on the same day, at the same time. Unfortunately, it's on the day that you are interviewing a new client at "Dirty Diapers R Us" at their massive new facility in Bumfuck Egypt. There's a freak snowstorm and you are trapped there for a week surrounded by poopy diapers, and very friendly Egyptians with bad teeth.

I wish I could finish my project portfolio this week.

Granted; but just as you finish it, at the last minute, pavman becomes angry at you for sticking him in Bumfuck Egypt with a lot of poopy diapers and destroys it in vengeance.

I wish my cat would learn to use the toilet so I wouldn't have to clean his litter box.

[deicruxified]

Granted; but just as you finish it, at the last minute, pavman becomes angry at you for sticking him in Bumfuck Egypt with a lot of poopy diapers and destroys it in vengeance.

I wish my cat would learn to use the toilet so I wouldn't have to clean his litter box.
granted. you cat loves the toilet. but the time you need to pee really bad, he/she becomes territorial and doesn't want anymore to go near the sacred place. all that's left for you to shit and pee on is a litter box...

i wish i had more tofu

[ssfanatic]

Granted.
YOu have an unlimited amount of tofu. In fact, you have so much that it takes up your entire personal property and you can never rid yourself of it bec it is infinite.

I wish i knew the exact number of the last post of this thread.

[Universe]

*granted* you now know the exact number, but the number is so specific your mind cannot comprehend it and your brain has a melt down. you are now in a vegetative state, you cannot move or speak and the nurse that changes your bed pan makes fun of your genitals

I wish I had magic powers.

[SeaCzar]

Granted. Now, you look line the wicked Witch of the West.

I wish I had a gorgeous (female) blonde (disease free) and a bag of $50's.

[Lucid]

Granted. Now, you look line the wicked Witch of the West.

I wish I had a gorgeous (female) blonde (disease free) and a bag of $50's.

Granted; you now have a gorgeous female blonde chimpanzee. Who is, of course, disease free. And poops in your bag of $50.

I wish for something to wish for.

[Circe]

Granted, but the blonde turns out to be a vindictive prostitute who steals your bag of $50s the minute you fall asleep.

I wish I had a private jet.

[Antares]

Granted; you now have a gorgeous female blonde chimpanzee. Who is, of course, disease free. And poops in your bag of $50.

I wish for something to wish for.

Granted; you wish for everything in the world and die depressed obtaining a precious few of them.

I wish no one would corrupt this wish.

[Allie]

Granted. Now, you look line the wicked Witch of the West.

I wish I had a gorgeous (female) blonde (disease free) and a bag of $50's.

Granted....But your gorgeous (female) blonde is a blow up doll (definitely disease free), and that bag of $50 is Monopoly money ;D

I wish you (my granter of wishes/genie) all the happiness in the world.





Allie added to this post, 6 minutes and 8 seconds later...

Granted; you wish for everything in the world and die depressed obtaining a precious few of them.

I wish no one would corrupt this wish.

Yikes. How did I get so behind!! That's what I get for typing and stepping away for a few min...

Granted...Whatever it is you wished for is not corrupted, but in the end, that wish did not improve your life at all.

I wish you all the happiness in the world. Truly!

[deicruxified]

Granted....But your gorgeous (female) blonde is a blow up doll (definitely disease free), and that bag of $50 is Monopoly money ;D

I wish you (my granter of wishes/genie) all the happiness in the world.





Allie added to this post, 6 minutes and 8 seconds later...



Yikes. How did I get so behind!! That's what I get for typing and stepping away for a few min...

Granted...Whatever it is you wished for is not corrupted, but in the end, that wish did not improve your life at all.

I wish you all the happiness in the world. Truly!

granted. while you get all the sadness in the world...

i wish for world peace :)

[rwyatt365]

Granted; the world is at peace, but none of it's people are. Wars continue while the world is blissfully unaware.

I wish other people would stop drinking my Jack Daniels!

[Dream Weaver]

Granted. They're drinking everything else in your house. You get so drunk from just having the Jack Daniels, you stagger into traffic and heckle a police officer until he shoots you.:)

I wish I had all the time in the world.

[Homini Lupus]

Granted. You are now an electronic clock and have (potentially) all the time of the world on your screen. Good tick-tacking

I wish the unthinkable

[rwyatt365]

Granted; but you can't think of what that is because it is...unthinkable! So, you pout.

I wish that thinking of another wish weren't so difficult.

[simoncpu]

Granted; you are henceforth presented with a user-friendly Windows program that displays the following pop-up whenever you want to make a wish:

"I am your master. I command that you'll wish yourself to become a chicken."


I wish I had teleportation ability.

[nickasummers]

granted, but when you teleport you occupy the same space as the air that was in that place before and this causes you to disappear.

I wish i could do anything to anybody without being arested (and a few kilos of C4 wouldnt hurt either)

[simoncpu]

granted, but when you teleport you occupy the same space as the air that was in that place before and this causes you to disappear.

I wish i could do anything to anybody without being arested (and a few kilos of C4 wouldnt hurt either)

It won't cause me to disappear; on the contrary, it makes me omni-present. Right now, a part of me is inside your lungs right now, and is taking control of your whole body.

Your wish is granted; you can do anything you want without being arrested as long as people can shoot you on the spot.

I wish I can manipulate space-time.

[rwyatt365]

I wish I had teleportation ability.

It won't cause me to disappear; on the contrary, it makes me omni-present. Right now, a part of me is inside your lungs right now, and is taking control of your whole body.
Quite the contrary, since your molecules are attempting to occupy the same space as the air molecules your teleportation causes a massive explosion as the competing molecules jostle each other out of the way. Thus, you destroy your arrival destination and yourself in the process.

I wish I can manipulate space-time.
Granted; you can manipulate it, but it doesn't like you performing extremely personal things like that and so space-time shuts you out of it's room and locks the door. And you find yourself in an inter-dimensional void, with a warrant out for your arrest by the inter-dimensional police for space-time molestation.

I wish family members would stop asking me to fix their self-imposed computer problems.

[Homini Lupus]

Granted. You become the one who causes the problems and your family members fix them for you with disdain.

I wish I could throw all corrupted Italian politicians in a meat grinder.

[pavman]

Granted. Mayor Richard Daley is ground up in a meat grinder. Oh, you say he's not Italian... oh well, no one ever said wishes were perfect ;)

I wish this thread would never end.

[ssfanatic]

Granted.
But it overloads everyones server and the www crashes. The world goes into mayhem.

I wish i could paint like Monet.

[dandylion]

^Granted, but you never get famous or make any money off your paintings until you die.

I wish my dad would stop putting that ugly green slip cover over the beautiful leather couch.

[Gabrielle]

Granted. Now he puts pink, flowery, frilly, lacy ones instead that defies all sense of beauty.

I wish I was omnipotent.

(BTW, curse you, nicksummers, now I want to go play Baldur's Gate)

[Antares]

Granted. Now he puts pink, flowery, frilly, lacy ones instead that defies all sense of beauty.

I wish I was omnipotent.

(BTW, curse you, nicksummers, now I want to go play Baldur's Gate)

Granted, now you can do nothing to change your fate to die from car crash tomorrow, since you knew the future.

I wish I won't have to do my homework.

[simoncpu]

Granted, but not only can you not able do your homework, you are unable to do just about anything too as well, as the gods afflict you with paralysis for the rest of your life.

I wish I can mind control women.

[Homini Lupus]

Granted. Now dealing with women looks like dealing with zombies.

I wish an uncorrupible wish.

[BlackHawk]

Granted. Your wish is "uncorrupible," whatever that means.

I wish I had a fully equipped evil lair in some remote, sinister location.

[Homini Lupus]

Granted. You now are working matherial for an evil genius' laboratory you wished for

I wish I could reach the state of non-existance

[SeaCzar]

Granted. You are blasted into atoms, and no longer exist.

I wish I had a nice house at the beach.

[polysylvester]

Granted:
Your house is in Key West Florida and it has toxic mold from being under water so many times. You still owe $400,000 on the mortgage.

I wish I had hair on the top of my head.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you have hair on the top of your head, and nowhere else. You have been hired by Ringling Brothers as the Amazing Human Q-Tip! Enjoy your fame.

I wish i could find a good song to listen to.

[Gabrielle]

Granted. But you can't listen to it.

I wish I could do whatever I wanted and not suffer the bad consequences.

[Oica]

Granted, you do it and nothing happens.

I wish that I hadn't posted in the "Corrupt a wish" topic.

[Joelle]

Granted, but instead of posting in this thread you browse the internet a little and stumble across a porn site depicting morbidly obese women; the pop-ups overwhelm your computer, which crashes, but the worst part is that you develop post-traumatic stress disorder from the experience.

I wish it were summer right about now.

[ssfanatic]

Granted!
But since it is now summer, it means the earth's rotation has been drawn off course by a large comet. This comet then takes us into its orbit and the world becomes uninhabitable, and the earth resembles the surface of mars.

I wish i had a gallon of chocolate ice cream.

[integratedvelocity]

Granted; but the ice cream had been left in your great-great-aunt's car's trunk since the family reunion last summer, during which she died while eating chocolate-covered pretzels. Therefore, your chocolate ice cream bears an uncanny resemblance to the contents of a sewer system.

I wish that Princess Turandot had killed herself and Calaf married Liu and they went back to reclaim the kingdom of Tartary so that the second violins wouldn't have to play an A-G# trill for two pages while she screams that she knows Calaf's name. I think one of my ear drums burst.

Stipulations: Said wish may only be granted if all detrimental effects are placed upon the viola, first violin and/or trombone sections. No strings or bows may break as a result of this wish.

Is this cheating? I didn't see any rules against it.