corrupt a wish

[SeaCzar]

Granted. But the African Lion in you're apartment does not use the litter box, as an ordinary house cat would and, needeless to say, you're friends no longer visit. You find living there intolerable yourself soon enough.

I wish there really was an "endless summer".

[rwyatt365]

Granted; ...on the sun-ward side of Mercury. Got any SPF-1500?

I wish Halle Berry was my baby-momma!

[Elfrun]

Granted, congratulations you're a momma, people think it's weird you've named your baby Halle Berry though.



I wish my coffee machine would work the way it's supposed to.

[ssfanatic]

Granted. But tomorrow night someone breaks into your house and steals it, so you are forced to purchase a new one nevertheless.

I wish it would start raining really hard in ten minutes.

[Hdier]

Granted. Unfortunately, then minutes always seems to be ten minutes away...

I wish that I was invulnerable from all the corrupted wishes previously posted on this thread.

[Elfrun]

Granted, your slate has been wiped clean, to make it fair for everyone else you are vulnerable to all wishes from this point on.


I wish the Rage (the video music show I'm watching) would stop playing such atrociously terrible things loosely referred to as ‘music’.





NOTE: as this wish will probably be corrupted in a way I don’t like I’ll be found in the anger management thread, I need to vent!

[Cuivienen]

Granted. Unfortunately, then minutes always seems to be ten minutes away...

I wish that I was invulnerable from all the corrupted wishes previously posted on this thread.


granted, but the price you pay for that is that non of your noncorrupted wishes will ever come true.

I wish I had an IQ of 250

[Hdier]

I wish the Rage (the video music show I'm watching) would stop playing such atrociously terrible things loosely referred to as ‘music’.

Granted; they start playing real music, at the exact moment that all power (electrical or not) in your house shuts off.

I wish I had an IQ of 250

Granted, but you have to sign a contract to get it. Unfortunately, you need an IQ of 250 in order to understand it, and now by wanting a higher IQ your IQ went down to negative 250.

I'll try to speak in slow and simple words from now on.


I wish I could corrupt a wish without feeling guilty. :(

[rwyatt365]

Granted; Your sense of social justice and compassion has been completely removed. Unfortunately you become a raving sociopath and are committed to life imprisonment in a psychiatric hospital...in a straight-jacket...in solitary confinement...

I wish I didn't have to make so many phone calls.

[Hdier]

Granted; I now make all of your phone calls.

Unfortunately somebody decided that I should be put in solitary confinement, so I can't make phone calls. You get lynched by your work because nothing gets done. Then we ate Robins Minstrels. "And there was much rejoicing".

I wish that I already knew everything that I'd learn in school.

[SeaCzar]

Granted. But you have no common sense at all and walk aimlessly (in front of an on-coming bus). Let's just say its not pretty.

I wish some of the wishes in this thread actually came true.

[Elfrun]

*Pets SeaCzar*

Granted. You are now Cuivienen 'house cat'.




I wish the weeds in my garden would stop growing.

[schwartzie]

Granted. The weeds in your garden, the long thorny briar roses, make one final great push, become an impassable hedge surrounding your home, and then freeze. You feel, suddenly, very very sleepy, my beauty. Wouldn't a nice long sleep of, oh, say, a hundred years or so, feel good right now!!

I wish you, when the time is right, a handsome courtier.

[SeaCzar]

Granted. But its Prince Vlad, The Impaler.

I wish I would meet the right girl to make all of my dreams come true.

[Elfrun]

Granted and she’s perfect but a day after you meet her, my new suitor, Prince Vlad impales you for corrupting previous wishes of mine, sorry he's very protective.



I wish people would stop telling me about their favourite reality TV shows.

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Granted - They will now tell drone for hours on end a day about their favourite cartoon.

I wish I could paint

[Cuivienen]

Granted, you can paint, and well, but no one gets your paintings and you have a compulsion that makes you want to paint EVERY SINGLE PERSON YOU SEE! So you are constantly running after people with your paintbrushes and -buckets, splattering paint everywhere, foam coming out of your mouth, while screaming people flee from you
:freak: ---> :scared: :scared: :scared:

I wish every day was 28 hours long so I could get more sleep.

[PHS Philip]

Every day is 28 hours long, and you can even have the extra sleep. But your dreams are now all about small talk.

I wish that school were fun.

[Hdier]

Granted, everything in school except for grammar class-the wish was broken by an evil hag-sorceress just before it got there.

However, your school saw that you typed 'school were fun' instead of 'school was fun', and decided that you should only take grammar all day. So now, you hear all of the fun outside while you're stuck in the one and only un-fun class.

I wish that I had a never-ending glass of perfect iced tea.

[PHS Philip]

Granted, everything in school except for grammar class-the wish was broken by an evil hag-sorceress just before it got there.

However, your school saw that you typed 'school were fun' instead of 'school was fun', and decided that you should only take grammar all day. So now, you hear all of the fun outside while you're stuck in the one and only un-fun class.

I wish that I had a never-ending glass of perfect iced tea.

Granted, along with a nice tree sprouting chocolate from its branches. But whenever you reach for the iced tea, it drains away, and whenever you reach for the chocolate, the branches bend away. (The Greeks had some quite inventive tortures, I have to say).

I wish I had a llama.

[SeaCzar]

Granted. But he's not house trained and refuses to go outside. Enjoy the smell and texture of llama poop.

I wish my neighbours were quieter.

[Cuivienen]

Granted, as a direct result of your wish, your neighbours are all dead. The local police finds out about that, you are convicted of murder. Your new neighbours in the prison cells around you listen to death metal all day and all night long and force you to sing along.

I wish I could shop for free in every store I got to

[Hdier]

Granted; it is now totally free for you to shop for things. Unfortunately, it is decided that this counts as theft and manslaughter in the first degree (don't ask).

But now you shoes match your purse!

I wish that I was in a Utopian society.

[Synamon]

Granted, you now live in Utopia, Ontario, Canada, bring snowshoes, the winters are brutal.

I wish chocolate had no calories.

[schwartzie]

granted. You can have all the extra dark unsweetened 100% cacao you like.

I wish my chores would do themselves.

[Cuivienen]

granted. You can have all the extra dark unsweetened 100% cacao you like.


But that is the best kind there is :stunned:. Damn, I should have made that wish

[schwartzie]

But that is the best kind there is :stunned:. Damn, I should have made that wish

well. 60, 72 , even 80 is lovely. 100% bites!
but with great beneficence the Corrupted Wish grants you too all the 100% you like.

[Cuivienen]

yum, lucky me :cheesy:

[Synamon]

Wait that wish was granted to ME, ME, ME. Get your own chocolate.

Granted. All your chores do themselves, but everything is put away in the wrong place and now you can't find anything and must eat from paper plates and have nothing to wear.

I wish for a Starbucks extra hot, grande, decaf latte to go with my chocolate.

[schwartzie]

Wait that wish was granted to ME, ME, ME. Get your own chocolate.
Granted. All your chores do themselves, but everything is put away in the wrong place and now you can't find anything and must eat from paper plates and have nothing to wear.
I wish for a Starbucks extra hot, grande, decaf latte to go with my chocolate.

Granted. But you must both go to bed early, with no supper, for being greedy.
I wish my stuff was organized, and that the clothes would fold and hang themselves NICELY away!

[PHS Philip]

Granted. But you must both go to bed early, with no supper, for being greedy.
I wish my stuff was organized, and that the clothes would fold and hang themselves NICELY away!

Granted, but as they fold they run along the ground, becoming covered in dirt.

I wish I had all the books on my to read list.

[Synamon]

Granted. All the books are right there behind you in the bookcase. LOOK OUT!!! the bookcase topples over from the sheer weight and crushes you.

I wish exercise wasn't such a bore.

[SeaCzar]

Granted. But its so exciting, you go into cardiac arrest and die. Hey, you looked great doing it!!

I wish I had a better Bloody Mary mix.

[mental drift]

Granted. But since the "better" mix required real blood, you contract aids.

I wish my kids would obey the first time I told them to do something.

[PHS Philip]

Granted. But since the "better" mix required real blood, you contract aids.

I wish my kids would obey the first time I told them to do something.

Granted, but now the second time they disobey. Have fun spending the rest of your life rewording!

I wish I knew the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.

[Hdier]

Granted, but now all swallows carry coconuts, so it does you no good.

I wish I hadn't corrupted the wish in a cheesy way...

[bladeserver]

Granted, but now all swallows carry coconuts, so it does you no good.

I wish I hadn't corrupted the wish in a cheesy way...
but you did and the sheer volume of cheese makes you lactose intolerant. No more ice cream for you cowboy.

I wish I was better endowed.

[Elfrun]

Granted, congratulations you are now a horse, there are carrots in the food fight room, please help yourself.


I wish I had a brand new you beaut 80cm plasma TV.

[Synamon]

Granted. But you have no cable, satellite, or DVD player. Enjoy the test pattern.

I wish I could remember jokes.

[schwartzie]

granted. You now remember hundreds--no, thousands-- of jokes. Unfortunately, however, their punchlines elude you.

I wish I had a tatoo, pain-free.

[Elfrun]

Granted, *thud, schwartzie slumps to the ground, now the fun begins* Hmm, where did I put the picture of those naked women holding a pistols?



I wish my new TV showed more than a test pattern *glares at Synamon*

[schwartzie]

thud? Thud, you say, is pain-free? (and I had in mind, something more like trailing stems of cherry blossom or vast stylized feathered wings, or intricate geometric cuffs.) anyway, granted. You can see decent tatoo designage. If you play nice, afterward, maybe blu-ray.

I wish for resumed painlessness for the duration of the procedure.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; You become pain-free for the duration of your tatooing process...and beyond. In fact, you can feel nothing as your nerve endings have become completely and comprenehsively deactivated. You exit the tatoo parlor and are hit by a bus - and you don't feel a thing.

I wish the holiday wasn't over.

[bladeserver]

Granted; You become pain-free for the duration of your tatooing process...and beyond. In fact, you can feel nothing as your nerve endings have become completely and comprenehsively deactivated. You exit the tatoo parlor and are hit by a bus - and you don't feel a thing.

I wish the holiday wasn't over.
and, as luck would have it it isn't, as your business collapses and you and everyone else is thrown onto the unemployment line.

I wish upon a star.

[Synamon]

Poof you are transported to the nearest star, the Sun, and are incinerated. Oh sorry, my bad, I misread your wish. "Upon" not "to be on", silly me, too bad, so sad, you are already incinerated.

I wish my hairdresser was not always running an hour late.

[SeaCzar]

Granted. The star you wish upon suddenly goes supernova, and you are ionized.


Ooops. Granted. Your hairdresser is running on week late.

I wish the relaxed feeling of having been on holiday would last until my next holiday.

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Granted. However your holidays were delayed for a really long time, and in the period between you've become so relaxed that your work and business have failed, due to the inability to focus.

I wish I could study 8 hours a day.

[schwartzie]

Granted.

Eight hours a day you'll wish you could study. *that's right, eh?*

I wish I didn't need to study for eight hours today.

[Hdier]

Granted. You can now study 8 hours a day. Unfortunately, you never feel like it, fall into drugs and brain-washing TV, and never end up studying.

Damn it! Fine; granted, you no longer need to study for 8 hours a day because an evil mastermind has captured you, and is now raping and torturing you repeatedly; I would say how you were being tortured, but I'm afraid of being banned. :scared:

That'll teach you to post before me!!!

I wish that this thread would stop corrupting wishes and start improving them.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; the new directive is to improve upon wishes. Every wish is subsequently an improvement on the previous wish, until the improvements become unwieldly as to warp the space-time continuum, thus creating a black hole which consumes the entire universe, destroying all matter.

But we're all very much improved as a result.

I wish for world peace and and end to hunger.

[Hdier]

Granted; unfortunately, as the wish-machine analyzes this statement, it gets confused by the double and ends up starting three nuclear wars and consuming three-quarters of the worlds food, from the present and the future (the past is ruined in my next wish-granting...mwa ha ha ha haaaaa).

I wish that the next wish would be uncorruptable.

[schwartzie]

granted. Unfortunately, it is off-topic, however, so jezebel will either edit it, or will trash it and what will appear will be the subsequent wish.

I wish for

[Synamon]

Silence? Granted, no outside sound penetrates, but you still have to listen to the voices in your head and without any outside noise they seem really LOUD.

I wish my headache would go away.

[bladeserver]

Silence? Granted, no outside sound penetrates, but you still have to listen to the voices in your head and without any outside noise they seem really LOUD.

I wish my headache would go away.
Granted but then you realize the bad news. You time travelled and you are now, more or less, Anne Boleyn.

I wish I was 19 again.

[schwartzie]

Granted but then you realize the bad news. You time travelled and you are now, more or less, Anne Boleyn.

I wish I was 19 again.

Granted. You will be 19 going on, say, 6 1/2, and then 45, but tainted by the 19 and 6 ishness that touched you. Enjoy!

I wish that the music I'm listening to never stops (leonard cohen! yum!)

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Granted. You'll never stop wishing that the music you're listening to never stop (take that!), but all the wishing has made you neglect the very music you wished would never stop.

I wish to be an eternal student, but at the same time receive a modest income to sustain my basic needs.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you are a student forever, your personal timeline has been placed into an infinite loop and you cycle between 5 and 15 for all eternity. Your income is indeed modest, your mom gives you 50-cents allowance once a week and all the bubble gum you can chew.

I wish the morning temperatures would never dip below 65F so that I can ride my motorcycle in the morning without putting on 2 pairs of thermal underwear.

[bladeserver]

Granted; you are a student forever, your personal timeline has been placed into an infinite loop and you cycle between 5 and 15 for all eternity. Your income is indeed modest, your mom gives you 50-cents allowance once a week and all the bubble gum you can chew.

I wish the morning temperatures would never dip below 65F so that I can ride my motorcycle in the morning without putting on 2 pairs of thermal underwear.
Granted. But because of a malfunction in the Microsoft wish granting software the temperature is reset at 65 degrees C.
You are arrested for gross lewdness and faulty operation for biking to work in a speedo and no helmet.

I wish it was yesterday.

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Granted; and yesterday shall forever be eternalized in your realm of time continuum. You live today, wake up to yesterday, live the present yesterday and wake up to yet another yesterday - You will never grow old but to repeat this cycle forever!

I wish my government was more liberal.

[SeaCzar]

Granted. The US now has the most liberal communist government you can imagine. They master the use of stem cells and cloning, and, voila, Joseph Stalin is now Pres. The purges are about to begin, and you are seen as a the most imminent threat for wishing for a liberal government. Oh, look. Here comes Beria. He wants to chat, but not for long......

I wish there were more sheets on rolls of paper towels.

[PHS Philip]

Granted. The US now has the most liberal communist government you can imagine. They master the use of stem cells and cloning, and, voila, Joseph Stalin is now Pres. The purges are about to begin, and you are seen as a the most imminent threat for wishing for a liberal government. Oh, look. Here comes Beria. He wants to chat, but not for long......

I wish there were more sheets on rolls of paper towels.

Granted, your bedsheets are now scattered among paper towel rolls across the country.

I wish I didn't have to take geometry.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; You don't have to take geometry. You now have to take Kindergarten Math, with a bunch of 5 year-olds, all day - every day. Now, what's one apple plus another apple?

I wish this nauseous feeling would go away.

[schwartzie]

granted. No nausea. Now just dizzy. Don't stand up, man!

I wish I had a nicer bicycle!

[SeaCzar]

Granted. But its so nice, its immediately stolen.

I wish people (in general) were not so vacuous.

[bladeserver]

Granted. But its so nice, its immediately stolen.

I wish people (in general) were not so vacuous.
Granted. The world is entirely filled with fellow INTJ'ers. Sadly we are really poor at the whole reproduction thing and rapid population decline ensues.

I wish I lived in New Zealand.

[Dreamer]

Granted, hobbits invade your house and destroy your garden.

I wish for a can of coca-cola.

[Cuivienen]

Granted. You get a can of coke, but your ESFP friends force you to donate it to charity.

I wish I could go home for the weekend and finally see my friends and family again.

[Beery Swine]

I wish I could go home for the weekend and finally see my friends and family again.

Granted. You shall attend there collective funerals. Mwahaha.

I wish I was omnipotent, barring the logical paradoxes.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you are now omnipotent, you have all power, now all of the electric grids are plugged into you! You are now the world's battery.

I wish for an endless supply of ultimate cheesecake.

[Elfrun]

Granted, you'll be delighted to hear you've been offered a position at the local Cheesecake Shop, you'll be able to work after hours and weekends and will get paid a nice wage of $6.55 an hour. Congratulations, you'll have an endless supply of ultimate cheesecakes - it is however against company policy to eat them.


I wish I could afford to quit my job and travel.

[schwartzie]

Granted. The same bus that drove me down as I left Trinity's Tattoos and Testpatterns now carelessly crashes into you, too. You co-workers mourn their loss.

After arranging to have the remains duly processed at the crematory, your loved one carries a small vial of your ashes wherever s/he goes, and, from time to time, lightly releases bits to the wind in places s/he knows you would like.
Travel is so broadening. Or not....

[Elfrun]

Hey, you killed me! People are so nasty around here :suspicious:

Wanna make a wish? not that you deserve it after that!

[schwartzie]

oops! ok--lessee. Something simple. A nice slice of apple pie for breakfast would be good.

Yeah--I wish for a slice of apple pie, made with Granny Smiths and plenty of cinnamon. Maybe a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side. And a cup of steaming freshly-made full-city roast java/sumatra blend. A perfect breakfast...

[Elfrun]

Granted, *Trin walks up to schwartzie with a scrumptious apple slice & ice cream and a steamy coffee and throws it at here* not very inventive but you did kill me, all I did was give you a prudy painless(ish) tattoo.



I wish I could travel overseas without having to die.

[schwartzie]

...virtual assault with a non-deadly weapon, eh! *picking chunk of apple pie from eye and ... consuming it.* Hmm. Good!

Granted! *files complaint and food police issue warrant for arrest. Trinity, seeking to escape just punishment in virtual Oz, and, therefore, needing to not be stopped by immigration or customs or some such, hires Kent Couch (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) to pilot his craft and transport her on her oversea adventure. They successfully launch, and are last seen headed north/northwest at a height of 11,000 feet.

I wish for a nice clean washcloth. And ointment to speed the healing of these (oye! dreadfully painful and gruesome unsightly facial) hot coffee burns. And maybe a consult with a solicitor....

[IgnoranceIsKind]

Granted. The washcloth tears within two days of use and inflicts rashes on your hands because you didn't rinse it after cleaning your dirt; the ointment heals your coffee burns, but has a side effect of increasing the cellular mass of your skin, causing you to look like a yeti. Oh, and the solicitor refused you.

I wish I had more time to read.

[replicant]

Granted. You can make time stop and read as much as you want but as you are reading you notice that the letters start to disappear and the speed with which they are disappearing increase. You find yourself in a race to finish before the text disappears.

I wish I could meet John Cusack.

[Elfrun]

Granted. You meet Joan Cusack, it's love at first right... Wait... that's not right... oh well too late, she's in love with you can't change it now.

I wish I could fly like superman.

[Beery Swine]

I wish I could fly like superman.

Granted, but in so doing you have violated the laws of both physics and logic which now permits anything to happen so both can fly and can't fly, not to mention you both exist and don't exist.

I wish for a lifetime supply of black olives, sliced.

[Linza]

Granted, but they all rot after a week, and you have to dispose of them responsibly.

I wish to own a DC motor which efficiently changes electricity at 120 V into at least 15 hp (continuous), which has a drive shaft and a tail shaft, and which will last for at least a decade before breaking down.


not to mention you both exist and don't exist.

Envy him in his two-fold security.

[Elfrun]

A what :suspicious:

Granted, but you lock you're keys in your car unfortunately you're brilliant security system means you cannot get them out.



I wish I understood what Linza was talking about.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you understand what Linza is talking about, however your new found awareness is at the expense of knowledge of anything else. So, while you now know all of the intricacies of that unique and fascinating motor you are incapable of living life unassisted. Welcome to the Sunny Days Nursing Facility for the Completely Incompetent.

I wish that the rest of this weeks weather would be as nice as today is suppoed to be.

[Synamon]

Granted, the rest of the week the weather will be as nice as today was supposed to be; however they sure blew it on today's forecast and a rogue tornado just flattened your house.

I wish my bathroom remodeling was already done.

[Elfrun]

Granted, but I don't know how to say this, um... sorry Synamon but it looks crap, it'll bring shame to your house.



I wish my heater would work properly, it's cold around here *brr*

[Motor Jax]

granted... you just won a furnace... a really, really big furnace... that never shuts off!


i wish i didn't have to work 7 days a week and just be able to stay home all the time

[schwartzie]

Granted. There was an unfortunate incident at work, where someone apparently used m80s for birthday cake candles. You were somewhat blown up, and will now need to stay home all the time.

I wish I hadn't been blown up by m80 birthday candles in the food fight thread.

[Elfrun]

Granted, a time machine appears, you are now able to go back and do it all over again, sadly you're not permitted to change anything, you know - butterfly effect and all, too much risk.


I wish my aircard had a higher limit so I could play more afterhours.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; your aircard now has unlimited time. You can play to your heart's content - at 9600 baud. Welcome to 1982.

I wish I had a pet dinosaur, a docile, tame pet dinosaur.

[Synamon]

Granted, you have a sweet and loving pet dinosaur, unfortunately the neighbors were not impressed by all the dinosaur poop on their lawn and shot the poor creature dead.

I wish I was lying in the sun.

[Motor Jax]

granted... unfortunately, the hole in the Ozone just doubled in size and you end up with a very, very deep tan

i wish i wasn't groggy after lunch

[schwartzie]

granted. Today, to avoid that groggy feeling, you stay away from fats in your lunch (which is mostly where that feeling--other than your Fness--comes from) and you decide to give yourself just a wee 5 minute katnap after lunch. It's now 3 hours later, and you don't feel groggy at all, because you just awoke from a long, luxurious sleep.

I wish that (having left my bike accidentally on the front of the bus when I got off. grrr) I had my bike back from the bus company's lost and found, and didn't have to schlep to hell and gone deep into the crumbling old industrial zone of the city to get it back. It's spooky out there.

[Synamon]

Granted, your bike magically appears and is locked to the lamp post in front of where ever you live. Did I mention locked? Unfortunately you do not have the key and have to call a locksmith to come cut off the lock. He's booked up solid for 2 days and hopes to get to you sometime Friday. You would have had your bike back faster if you'd just sucked it up and gone to get it from the lost and found. (How does someone forget their bike on a bus anyways? Oh wait you are an INTJ)

I wish it was already July and I was at my cabin.

[Elfrun]

Granted, by you need to wait 3-4 weeks for wish delivery.



I wish I wouldn't keep forgetting to eat :suspicious:!

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you never forget to eat - ever. In fact, you remember to eat continuously. You eat, even when you don't need to. Your weight balloons to 523.6lbs and you are bedridden...but you never forget to eat again.

I wish I didn't have to go to the "farewell party" for an employee that have gotten a new job.

[Synamon]

Granted, you don't have to go, so you go straight home after work, discovering your wife in bed with another man (she expected you to go to the party of course). You shoot them both dead and are now imprisoned for life.

I wish someone would make me some lunch.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; You are now a pastrami on rye with mayo and a pickle.

(take that for causing my imprisonment!)

I wish I may, I wish I might.

[Synamon]

I'm sorry that is two wishes, you can't wish you may and wish you might, so the wish machine has decided to grant only the first wish, poof you are the lovely spring month of May. April showers bring May flowers and all that hooey.

I wish I could sing.

[emanon]

Granted... you can sing like a lark... so much for the lyrics

I wish my office weren't so cold.

[jbeaufait]

Granted, let me introduce you to someone. His name is Lucifer. Whatever you do, do not stare at his horns. He's very self-conscience about them.

[Elfrun]

I wish jbeaufait had a wish.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; jbeaufait has a wish. It is a wish for all ages. It is a wish to end all wishes. It is the perfect, uncorruptible wish. And no one knows it but jbeaufait as it is unspoken and forgotten immediately.

I wish it would not rain this evening on the way home from work...here where I live.

[Lupin]

Granted....it will only be raining in the next street with a few light spots floating on the breeze your way.....hardly what you'd call rain.

I wish I could find a work placement here where I live.

[Elfrun]

Granted, no rain anywhere to be seen, now hail, that's a different wish. Sorry.



I wish someone would bring me a drink.



EDIT: bah, see people that's what happens when you don't refresh!

Granted, work placement found, you are now my general gopher, now get me a drink.


Cool new wish. I wish my gopher lived here so it wouldn't take so long for the drink to arrive.

[schwartzie]

Granted. You have a drink. Good gopher. (etymological aside: Where I live, the noun "drink" refers to any unassuming mass of liquid, usually not of natural origin, such as a puddle formed in a pothole in the road. More typically, it is a polite term used to define the body of assorted liquidish things dwelling below a slatted-floored animal feedlot.

In this context, the term describes entry to the body of liquid; things go or fall "into the drink."

So, consider it a great boon that your drink is a hole fetched from a nearby marble quarry.)
And now, you have indeed fallen into the drink.

I wish it was closing time (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

[Synamon]

Granted. You must now exit the premises. No more beer for you missy. I'll call you a cab.

I wish this day would never end.

[azelismia]

Granted. You must now exit the premises. No more beer for you missy. I'll call you a cab.

I wish this day would never end.

Granted it never ends but you age anyway. time has distorted for you but not for everyone else. in the end you turn into a zombie and develop a taste for sweet human flesh

I wish happiness and good will for all and a really good stiff vodka drink

[Elfrun]

*presents bottle of Vodka*

Granted, you are crowned Miss USA, the best position to achieve general goodness for all, unfortunately the organisers think you have a drinking problem so you are publically shamed and stripped of you title.



I wish I could see that.

[Lupin]

Granted:

*Just in on CNN........ "Miss America, found drunk & disorderly in a situation unbecoming of her title, loses crown (video clip unavailable for technical reasons)*

I wish you all a great weekend.

[Motor Jax]

granted. yours is just... bad... with loud, obnoxious neighbors throwing a rockin' all-weekend party and drinking until they pass out in your flowerbeds, and accidently leaves the gas grill on which explodes and takes your house out, leaving you with no house, no other clothes, and damn... you should have gotten it insured in the first place

i wish it was afternoon already

[schwartzie]

granted. But only for you. Everyone else is still on morning time, and you remain time-disoriented forever, eventually going mad. HAHAHAHAHAHAH
And the JAG was right. All went fine. Well, except that, for once, the lawyer took the heat. The JAG (instead of his client) has been disciplined.

I wish for a simple thing--not bad weather for the weekend, so we can play out of doors!

[Synamon]

Granted, the weather for you this weekend will be not bad, unfortunately it is not good either considering all the rain, but the farmers need it, so that makes it not bad. You like to play in the rain right?

I wish I had a robot slave.

[Elfrun]

Granted, take Lupin, not exactly a bot and quite disobedient, probably won’t do anything you ask.


I wish every weekend was a long weekend.




(I mostly wanted to write that in so I could rub it in to any non-aussies.. hah Yes I'm petty like that)

[Synamon]

Granted, every weekend is a long weekend. Btw you now have to work all holiday weekends and will get Tuesdays and Wednesdays off instead, and there is a 10% pay cut as well. Enjoy!!!

I wish I didn't have to sit here all day waiting for a delivery.

[rewhu]

You don't have to. Your wish has been granted and you are free to leave. But immediately after your departure the delivery arrives. It turns out to be a lung, packed in iced, that is desperately needed by a little girl in Indiana. Because there was no one to sign for the package the delivery guys leaves it on your desk unopened. The ice melts, the lung goes bad, and the little girl dies a horrible, gasping death. Way to go.

I wish cartoons would come to life.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; One of the angels from Neon Genesis Evangelion comes to life and destrioys your hometown, your house, your pets and last of all...you. Wasn't that fun?!

I wish it was time to go home now.

[rewhu]

Me too...*sighs*

I'm mean - granted. You are on your way home. As you're driving gremlins appear and begin to dismantle your car. You only make it halfway home before the gremlins have finished their evil deeds. You now have to walk the rest of the way, through a bad neighborhood, uphill, barefoot, in the rain.

I wish the smurfs would come out with another album.

[emanon]

Granted you have leaped forward in time to the normal end of your work day. Unfortunately, while you were traveling forward in time your boss left you a note requesting you do prepare a document before you leave. The document will take 3 hours to complete.

EDIT: Oh bother.

Granted the smurfs have come out with a new album "It's Not Easy Being Blue." Now you have to listen to it 24/7 for the next 3 years. END EDIT

I wish I could view the members only topics... Oh, wait I can; this is post 15.

I wish I didn't want to go get a snack from the vending machine.

[wreckoning]

Granted. You adopt a healthy diet of celery and broccoli. But now you're a rabbit.

I wish I had more sleep last night.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you had more sleep last night, unfortunately you slept on a fire-ant hill. You are now covered in stinging fire-ant bites.

I wish those damned gremlins would leave my car alone!

[Elfrun]

Granted, they just discovered you're bike (purrr)



I wish someone would change this CD for me.

[emanon]

Granted, you now get to listen to The Smurfs new album "It's Not Easy Being Blue."

I wish my foot would fit in a normal shoe.

[onlyparallel]

Fine. One foot can fit in a normal shoe, you need to go to a costume shop and get a clown shoe for the other.

I wish I could build a time machine, prove it works, then come back and destroy the machine, without telling anyone how I made it.

[rewhu]

SHA-ZAM!! It is done!

I'd say you're a genius except that there's no evidence of this alleged "time machine" ever exsisting. Oh, well, would've been nice settle that wacky Big Bang / Creationist debate once and for all...

I wish Steve Buscemi played the lead role in Airheads instead of Brendan Fraser.

[Synamon]

Poof, granted, oops a slight mixup, Steve Fraser is the lead, an unknown actor from Australia. He's cute though so no harm no foul.

I wish I could stay out of the 'wrong answer' thread.

[Elfrun]

Granted, Jez bans you.

I wish someone else would do my work out for me today.

[Lupin]

Granted, but it was a ballet class and I found it rather difficult to plier in your pink lycra all in one outfit given my warped left leg and middle ear trouble so not sure if I'll offer again.

*puts Trinity's pink lycra outfit in the washer on 90 degree fast spin cycle*

I wish I could a project working for Obama after he succeeds.

[Synamon]

Granted. Obama wins the presidential race and your project is to review the accounting misdeeds of his campaign, your report results in his impeachment one month after he's sworn in.

I wish the American election was already over.

[Wapiti]

Granted, it is, just shut off the TV and it goes away..........

I wish tootsie rolls were a foot thick and 4 feet long.

[Lupin]

Granted: Articulated lorry arrives in your driveway with your special order of Supersize-me tootsie rolls.

I wish I knew what tootsie rolls were.....

*assumes some sort of Japanese delicacy...guesses wildly where to get these in France (a place stuck in the Dark Ages when it comes to diet variation)*

[ssrprotege]

Granted, *putting a magic wand on toostie rolls*

Oops! As I made a mistake toostie rolls became as big as Kronos and ate you! Sorrry! but..lol

I wish I could hear an oracle from Apollo.

[Synamon]

Granted, you are allowed to go to Mount Olympus to hear Apollo orate on your imminent death by stoning for mocking the gods.

I wish I'd invented Google.

[ssrprotege]

Granted, but on the very next day some hackers messed up your system, duplicated what you did, and put their names.

I wish I were a true ESFP.

[Synamon]

Granted. You are hereby banned from this forum.

I wish I was, I wish I were.

[Lupin]

Granted, you are completely undecided about which tense to use.

......always being at least two ways of looking at what people mean when they write, interpretation/perception being the only reality.

I wish that I could summon up enough interest in every country of the world to start a global change in consciousness to save the food chain.

[wreckoning]

Granted. You become an INFP and are able to visualize the ways in which a global change could take place. But instead of taking action you spend the rest of your life daydreaming about it.

I wish I could remain an INTP, but understand exactly how this mysterious F function works.

[Synamon]

Granted, you understand all about the function keys on your computer, try Alt F4 sometime.

I wish the rain would stop already.

[bladeserver]

Granted, you understand all about the function keys on your computer, try Alt F4 sometime.

I wish the rain would stop already.
Granted but in payment you have to live in Canada for the rest of your natural life.

I wish I had a six pack.

[Synamon]

Granted. You have a six pack of Budweiser. Oh you meant abs? You should be more specific. On the plus side I understand you have thighs to die for.

I wish I could stop posting on this thread.

[ssrprotege]

Granted, but rwyatt installed a macro/bot program so that your hand clicks this thread again.

I wish I had developed the Uncertainty Principle.

[Synamon]

Damn that bot program works too, here I am back in this thread, to grant your wish.
Granted I'm certain you developed the uncertainty principle, I think, maybe, well someone did, it could have been you.

I wish I'd found this forum 6 months ago.

[wreckoning]

Granted. You spent the last six months of your life obsessed with the corrupt-a-wish thread.

I wish I could be more precise in speech.

[ErwinsKitty]

Granted. You spent the last six months of your life obsessed with the corrupt-a-wish thread.

I wish I could be more precise in speech.

Granted. But the first sentence you utter has such razor-sharp precision that it slices off your tongue, rendering you mute.


I wish I could remotely control my own brain chemistry.

[ssrprotege]

Granted, but you pushed the wrong button, resulting in the lethal dose of adrenaline produced! (ouch!)

I wish I were a quantum particle (or particles).

[Perplexitude]

Wish granted. Now you are taken in by a bigger atom's orbitals and you are now a part of the atom.

I wish I had a billion dollars

[ssrprotege]

Granted: you won Lotto! But it turned out that there was a "probabilistic problem" so.....it was cancelled :irked:, no money for you.

I wish Lotto were to disappear.

[Elfrun]

Granted, you totally kicked my ass at monopoly, well done now take your winnings and get the hell outta here.

Crud!
I wish Lotto were to disappear.

Granted, lotto goes missing, people are worried, authorities come looking for you after hearing your threats against it. Bet you look good in black and white stripes eh.


I wish it wasn't so cold.

[ErwinsKitty]

Granted. The world's climate is modeled on your body temperature and weather forecasters now report their predictions for when you will catch a virus and run a fever.


I wish I could clone myself.

[schwartzie]

Granted. You are now an entire litter of Erwinskitties.

Unfortunately, in the cloning process, you were not simply re-produced, but rather were divided into bits of your pseudonym.

You now like to wrestles your furry little selfs and bites yourselfs and play and sleep all day long. You are such a cute wittle furrzie moochie.

crap. and you mooched my wish. Now I shall perforce corrupt it...

Tomorrow is not Monday. Tomorrow is Tuesday. HAHA

I wish tomorrow were a holiday here. Not in Oz. Not yesterday.
(p.s. is it a corruption to have to live in Canada the rest of your life? sounds OK to me...?)

[Synamon]

Crap yours was better so I deleted mine. LOL
Granted you can have a holiday tomorrow. Because tomorrow is yesterday, but the day after we expect you to report to work promptly.


I wish it wasn't Monday tomorrow.





Synamon added to this post, 1 minutes and 9 seconds later...

I hereby ungrant all wishes made to me since I messed up the thread.

I wish I hadn't messed up the thread. ROFL

[schwartzie]

granted. You have amused the time lords and are hereby granted your choice of one free corrupt a wish OR the option to not post another tonight, as you please.

I still wish tomorrow to be a holiday here AND in Canada.

[Elfrun]

Interjection: ha ha ;D public holidays ROCK!

[Synamon]

Granted, schwartzie, you and I are transported to Oz to enjoy the national holiday (I hope there are fireworks) and Trinity has to come do your job today/tomorrow, whatever the heck day it is over there, as punishment for mocking your wish.

I wish for fireworks for the big holiday celebration.

[ssrprotege]

Granted! *waving my magic wand*

I became a chemical engineer to produce a million of fireworks....BUT!! I forgot where I put them.....and the magical effects ended, so I am no longer a chemical engineer :(

I wish I could solve one of the seven Millennium Prize Problems (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

[schwartzie]

I wish I could solve one of the seven Millennium Prize Problems (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

Granted. You, in fact solved all of them in your dreams one night, but forgot the solutions when you awoke.

I wish I could understand--just a little--what any of the seven problems concern. :knife:

[ErwinsKitty]

Granted. The mathematics door in your brain opens and floods your consciousness with complete understanding. In fact, you intuitively solve all seven problems in your head. However, the sheer volume of mathematics flooding your brain pushes out your ability to speak english, and your gibbering self is sent to an insane asylum. There, you use fingerpaints to create equations which illustrate solutions to all the scientific questions in the universe. These are tacked onto the bulletin board in the common area.

I wish could super-speed read.

[Synamon]

Granted. You have the ability to super-super-super-speed read. This fills your brain with so many words that you blink uncontrollably and blather incoherently. Lucky for you there is a nice room in the asylum right next to schwartzie. As a bonus you get to admire her finger paintings on the bulletin board. The swirly patterns are quite soothing.

I wish for understanding.

[ErwinsKitty]

Granted. The whole tragi-comedy of it all unfolds to you. Schwartzie and I help you negotiate the cafeteria and get the good crafts during free time.

I wish for a private island.

[schwartzie]

Granted!
Lucky you, Synamon understands your wish; she crafts you your very own private "island" by the nice big TV, which is now set to play Gilligan's Island 24/7.

I wish for a day filled with engaging but solvable problems. Not the intractable knots that have been appearing at my doorstep of late.

[Elfrun]

*tisk tisk* waiting... I wish schwartzie had a wish I could currupt.

[Synamon]

Granted. One day of engaging but solvable problems. It was way back in 1982 and it was a great day, you will look fondly on it forever. Unfortunately that won't help you deal with today's boring and unsolvable problems which march unceasingly to your doorstep.

I wish all dreams were reality.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; All dreams become reality. The world suddenly is populated with all manner of odd creatures, along with flying humans and animated mechanical devices. The universe collapses into chaos as conflicting dreams battle one another for dominance. Happy now?

I wish I was married to an understanding, pleasant, good-looking woman (that didn't need constant reassurance).

[Synamon]

Granted. You and I are now married. However in a fit of jealous pique I report you for bigamy and you end up in jail. You will soon be Big Bobby's bride.

I wish someone else would pick out colors to paint my rooms.

[ChrisM]

Granted. They are a mime, and pick only black or white by acting silently.

I wish I could afford my own maglev train (for my estate I also would afford).

[rwyatt365]

Granted; Howeveer there are grevious miscalculations for the magnetic field strength and you attract every metallic object within a 5-mile radius.

I wish I had some more tea.

[ChrisM]

Granted. It's from the south, it's mega sweet, and a recipe for kidney stones.

I wish I was a large prime number and highly valued by the government. (wow... i dunno)

[Lupin]

Granted: I give you my tea....hope you like it, it's a digestive recipe including mint, verveine and liquorice with a twist of lemon. Tastes a bit odd at first, but you did ask for tea.

I wish I hadn't broken my crown and could find a decent dentist (no 'Marathon Man' references please!!!)





Lupin added to this post, 0 minutes and 47 seconds later...

Darn.......

[bladeserver]

Granted: I give you my tea....hope you like it, it's a digestive recipe including mint, verveine and liquorice with a twist of lemon. Tastes a bit odd at first, but you did ask for tea.

I wish I hadn't broken my crown and could find a decent dentist (no 'Marathon Man' references please!!!)





Lupin added to this post, 0 minutes and 47 seconds later...

Darn.......
The anti-royalist faction find you have broken your crown and chose this moment to seize power. A dentist won't help you now.


I wish my carbon footprint wasn't quite that big.

[emanon]

Granted. A recent study has shown that Lexington, Kentucky has the largest carbon footprint in the U.S. Yours is not quite that big.

I wish I had worn sensible shoes today.

[SeaCzar]

Granted. But they only make sense to you.

I wish we had a pool at the ofice.

[Synamon]

Granted. But when the feds find out about your illegal cock fighting betting pool at work they fine the company and it goes bankrupt and you are laid off.

I wish cookies didn't have so many carbs.

[emanon]

Granted. But they only make sense to you.

That's not corrupted. That's great. :thumbsup: I don't care if they make sense to anybody else.


I wish cookies didn't have so many carbs.

Granted the carbs are gone but they are replaced with triple the number of calories.

I wish there was an authentic Chinese restaurant nearby.

[Lupin]

Granted: There is an authentic Chinese restaurant nearby....to me (and I guess that's a few thousand miles away, ha, ha)

I wish the Atlantic was smaller and the Mediterranean was bigger and tidal.

[Synamon]

Granted. The entirety of the Atlantic rushes in a huge tidal wave into the Mediterranean. Most of Africa and all of southern Europe are obliterated. The extra weight of all this water now in the Mediterranean tilts the Earth off its axis and it spins out of control from its orbit moving ever closer to the sun. I don't think this will end well.

I wish corrupting wishes didn't give me nightmares. :cry:

[Lupin]

Granted: Not only do you never ever get nightmares but you never actually sleep again....(can't believe I just wrote that, it's in fact its own nightmare)

I wish I could play the trumpet like the, oh so talented, trumpeter in the jazz club tonight.

[schwartzie]

Granted.

You will play the trumpet, as well as other assorted horn-shaped instruments and the occasional harp, when, as a direct result of Synamon's biting Corruptions That Never Sleep, our beloved planet Earth plunges to a fiery end, and you, one of the innocents, ascend to the pearly gates. (OK, maybe you are not so innocent, having wished the wish that disturbed the balance of the oceans, and having wished into Synamon a vast unsleeping power over corruption, but...well... your maker is feeling generous tonight.)

I wish the school year was over and that ChrisM's wish, that he "was a large prime number and highly valued by the government. (wow... i dunno)" was duly corrupted so he doesn't think he can freely post on this thread without feeling the creeping corruption of his thoughts and dreams to which the rest of us compulsive posters have fallen prey.

[Synamon]

Since I can only grant one wish let me corrupt the large prime number with a bribe, he's in government he is sure to accept and that will be his downfall. Oh the scandal. Absolute power does corrupt absolutely.

Ok now for my wish, I wish I could grant two wishes.

[Lucid]

You can grant two wishes. But not at the same time.

I wish I could play the cello.

[Dreamer]

Granted, you find the motivation to practice day and night how to play the cello, despite you obviously having no natural talent for it.Eventually, you become a world-renowned cello player,even playing in front of Queen Elizabeth herself.

You took a great deal of time learning the cello and the walls of your tiny appartment were not soundproof enough. Your next-door neighbour,unable to sleep at night and exhausted by your early butchery of Beethoven's pieces,lost his job and wife as a result.

The last thing you see when you enter your mansion after the performance in front of Elizabeth is the muzzle flash of a Colt 1911.

I wish I had a device to block police radars.

[Lupin]

Granted: Someone pulls the plug on the national grid so the radars don't work and nor does anything else for that matter so nobody's going nowhere.

I wish schwartzie hadn't got the wrong end of the stick....

(Atlantic being smaller to get to US quicker by sail, Med being larger and tidal to refresh and renew the marine eco-system - it's a brown puddle by comparison to the world's oceans and deteriorating exponentially).

[Synamon]

Granted, schwartzie grasps the right end of the stick and continues to beat you with it for disturbing the balance of the oceans and causing the end of life as we know it. No excuses, good intentions are always the cause of the worst catastrophes. Whack. One more for good measure.

I wish corrupting wishes didn't feel sooooooo good. (and I hope no one actually reads any of this because they really would lock us all up)

[rwyatt365]

Granted; corrupting wishes now feels bad, soooooooooo bad in fact that all participants in this thread - in fact, all INTJs planet-wise - throw themselves into the widened Mediterranean Sea which causes it to overflow it's banks, thus re-filling the Atlantic and causing the Earth to go into a uncontrolled wobble, spin out of control and crash into Jupiter.

I wish I had something other than a chocolate covered donut to eat for lunch.

[Lupin]

Granted: You can have the leftover curry from last night......it's only chewy around the edges and you could easily heat it up........you boys will pretty much eat anything !?

I wish Sarkosy would kick some butt and drag France, screaming if necessary, into what's left of the world.

[bladeserver]

Granted. Anton Sarkozy, 38. a janitor from Salford was today found guilty of kicking his companion Jules in a public walkway. He was bound over on his own good behaviour. Jules, known professionally as France Latour, was resting comfortably.

I wish for eternal damnation.

[Synamon]

Really? Ok you are eternally dammed, but a urologist should be able to fix your little problem, or maybe you just need some laxatives.

I wish I had rwyatt's chocolate donut.

[bladeserver]

Really? Ok you are eternally dammed, but a urologist should be able to fix your little problem, or maybe you just need some laxatives.

I wish I had rwyatt's chocolate donut.
You have it but, unfortunately, you and it are in his lower intestine. RWyatt has a little hobby he hasn't talked about..yet.


I wish I had a skin and blister.

[Lucid]

You have it but, unfortunately, you and it are in his lower intestine. RWyatt has a little hobby he hasn't talked about..yet.


I wish I had a skin and blister.


Granted. You discover that you have a long lost sister. She is your parents' favorite and they dote on her endlessly, excluding you completely from their lives and from their will.

I wish I had a job.


Granted. Anton Sarkozy, 38. a janitor from Salford was today found guilty of kicking his companion Jules in a public walkway. He was bound over on his own good behaviour. Jules, known professionally as France Latour, was resting comfortably.

I laughed until daytime TV came out my nose.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; You now have a minimum-wage job as a 3rd Production Assistant on the 'Dirty Jobs' show. Your primary task is to hand-wash Mike Rowe's underwear following each episode where he exclaims, "I crapped my pants when I...". Did you get out the stains?

I wish I could see you blowing 'All My Children' out of your nose.

[Lucid]

Granted; You now have a minimum-wage job as a 3rd Production Assistant on the 'Dirty Jobs' show. Your primary task is to hand-wash Mike Rowe's underwear following each episode where he exclaims, "I crapped my pants when I...". Did you get out the stains?

I wish I could see you blowing 'All My Children' out of your nose.

I'll have you know it was Law and Order. And granted, the incident appears on YouTube but is soon removed due to its graphic and disturbing nature. Your boss finds the video in your browser history and fires you for watching inappropriate material on company time.

I wish Dirty Jobs was on now instead of Charmed, the stupidity of this show is surpassed only by its bad acting.

[Synamon]

Granted, Dirty Jobs is on but you've lost your remote and can't change to its channel. Besides now that you've watched 10 minutes of Charmed you want to see how the twits get out of the mess they've made.

I wish I could do magic.

[SeaCzar]

Granted. You have had sex with Magic Johnson, and can proclaim to the world that you "do" Magic.

I wish I could do otherwise.

[Synamon]

Ok but you wished it. You just did Oth Erwise. He's the big guy at the other end of the cell block. You will henceforth be Oth's love slave.


I wish I could be a child again.

[bladeserver]

Granted. I am your sadistic older brother with strange fetishes and an inferiority complex.

I wish my dreams would come true.

[Elfrun]

Granted. We are all doomed, noooooo



I wish for the day was over. Now.

[Synamon]

Poof the day is over. Here. Cue sunset. In Australia you are just going to have to tough it out until tomorrow. Or is it already tomorrow there? Yesterday? Whatever.

I wish exercise wasn't so boring.

[schwartzie]

granted. exercise now consists of grabbing PHSKitty's hand and sprinting like the wind to escape the hugglehounds (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

I wish I had a dinner of a nice, say, thai curry with extra basil and broccoli, without having to actually take time to make it.

[bricklayer]

Granted, the broccoli was so delicious you forgot how to chew - choked and died.

I sure wish I was best friends with Mic Jagger.

[ssrprotege]

I wish I had a dinner of a nice, say, thai curry with extra basil and broccoli, without having to actually take time to make it.

Granted. Now Schwartzie is eating a thai curry, in a extravagant palace, made by a mysterious cook. His curry was so awesome that she wanted to see his face, but he wouldn't allow her to do so. She ended up seeing his face while he was asleep. At that instant, everything disappeared and she became despondent. (Someone corrupt bricklayer's wish!)

I wish Trinity becomes an ENFP once more.

[Synamon]

Too bad you went with Mic Jagger, he's some Irish street sweeper, granted, you are his best friend. Now Mick Jagger the rock star would have been a more predictable choice, but to each his own.

Hey I got granted the ability to give two wishes earlier so..... Trinity is an ENFP.

I wish Trinity was an INTJ for ever more.

[ssrprotege]

Granted. Now I am re-activating my previous wish.

I wish I could meet Q.

[Elfrun]

Aaaagh *head explodes*


Granted, ssr meet queue, queue meet ssr, now wait.



I wish for God like power ;D

[bladeserver]

Aaaagh *head explodes*


Granted, ssr meet queue, queue meet ssr, now wait.



I wish for God like power ;D
Granted. But it is combined with a worldwide surge in atheistic and agnostic belief. So your new found powers lie in disuse as you make the tour of ENDLESS town meetings with the general theme "God, yes I am all powerful and you really should believe in me".

I wish the birdsong in the early morning would stop already!!

[ChrisM]

Granted; birdsong stops. All of the smaller birds are replaced by larger ones, especially mourning doves. Birdsong becomes birdmourn. (whoo whoo whooooo)


I wish everyone on earth would become artists (music/visual/performing, etc) and scientists.

[schwartzie]

granted. Sadly, the Martian lawyers and soldiers eat artists and scientists for breakfast. And do.

I wish the seemingly never-ending queue at the post office was less long.

[Lupin]

Granted: Not only is the queue not long, it no longer exists as the post office's universal service is losing so much money that former customers are training homing pigeons for lightweight items instead; then rest gets collected by TNT (so no worries). (There is a government incentive so pop along for your pigeon today....comes with handy instruction manual).

I wish I had a decent cup as I'm currently drinking tea out of a jam jar.....(true)

[ChrisM]

Granted, everyone in the line is suddenly asian, have lower average weights, and naturally stand closer together (I mean, thats what asians do), making the line shorter. Due to heavy accents, communication problems makes the wait longer.


I wish I could stick to lists better.

[bladeserver]

Granted: Not only is the queue not long, it no longer exists as the post office's universal service is losing so much money that former customers are training homing pigeons for lightweight items instead; then rest gets collected by TNT (so no worries). (There is a government incentive so pop along for your pigeon today....comes with handy instruction manual).

I wish I had a decent cup as I'm currently drinking tea out of a jam jar.....(true)
Granted. You are now drinking from the cup last worn by Big Papi David Ortiz. He is a big boy so it's a decent size cup.


I wish I had a jam jar full of blackcurrant jam.

[Lupin]

Granted: It's an enormous jar of blackcurrant jam, but it's off! You'll have to do without.

Are you trying to tell me what a cup is in US English....is it a jock-strap or cricketer's box?

I wish you would make it clear as I think I'm turning a little pale (imagination being one of my stronger skills).

[schwartzie]

oooh I like both, so...
Granted, everyone in the line is suddenly asian, have lower average weights, and naturally stand closer together (I mean, thats what asians do), making the line shorter. Due to heavy accents, communication problems makes the wait longer.
I wish I could stick to lists better. granted. insta-glue to forearm.
Granted: It's an enormous jar of blackcurrant jam, but it's off! You'll have to do without.Are you trying to tell me what a cup is in US English....is it a jock-strap or cricketer's box?

I wish you would make it clear as I think I'm turning a little pale (imagination being one of my stronger skills). granted. its the former. you are turning very very pale.
I wish my kitty was less sheddy. I am losing the battle against the furry wooden floorboards.

[Lupin]

Granted: little kitty now bald; acute case of alopecia caused by stressful interaction with wooden floorboards and disgruntled pet owner; call the RSPA, CIA or whomsover in your country for the protection of little kitties.

I wish I hadn't drunk from Big Papi David Ortiz's cup.......(honestly that now sounds 110%revolting but forgive me, I'm in impish mood.....will have to watch out for Blade, he's hot)

[ChrisM]

Granted, you are back to your jam jar. [deep & creepy]Bwahahah![/deep & creepy]

Jam jars are hip... what's the fuss?


I wish I was an X-man.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; You are now an "X"...man.

I wish I had a better wish.

[ChrisM]

LOL.

Granted, your wish is so good it inspires others to stop what they are doing and see that wish come true. This thread dies. The end. :(


A. I wish I didn't have to sleep.

Edit. Another optional one...

B. I wish my wish was better than rwyatt's wish that's way better than his first wish.

[curiousjane]

Granted. You don't ever have to sleep again, for a wicked witch just trounced by and turned you into a stone statue for her garden.

I wish I could go out and enjoy the sunshine instead of sit here in my cubicle.

[rewhu]

For the love of all that is mildly sacred, me too!

I grant this wish for the both of us. We are now outside enjoying the pleasant weather. The only problem is that our cubicles and filing cabinets and computers are outside too. From now on we have to work outside everyday, including during the winter, which arrives terrribly early. We both suffer frost bite and near starvation when we finish our supplies in the mini fridge. We resort to canibalism. FYI - you tasted delicious.

I wish fake MCs would stop frontin'.

[Synamon]

Granted. Will the real MC Hammer please stand up. It's hammer time!!! That song will be stuck in your head the rest of the day.

I wish I had a cubicle.

[rewhu]

Granted. You are now an officer worker and have a cubicle of your very own. Unlike mine, however, yours is made out of cardboard. Upon closer inspection you discover that your "cubicle" is actually a discarded refrigerator box. Also your "office" is a dank alley. Instead of a smart business suit you're wearing tattered rags and plastic baggies instead of sensible black shoes. Huh, weird.

I wish that MC Hammer and Young MC would have a baby and name it Young Hammer.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; Young Hammer goes on to study at Juliard and then play for the national Orchestra - to the consummate shame of his parents.

I wish my co-workers weren't such complaining whiners.

[ChrisM]

Granted. Their second child is named MC^2 and is picked on in school for being named after half of Einstein's mass-energy equivalence formula. He is constantly called Einstein, especially because he has a slight learning disability.


I wish I had my own personal piper.

[curiousjane]

Granted. But he's Pied, for some strange reason, and he leads you to the River Rhine and you enter and drown. So sorry. I'll send my condolences to your family.

I wish I had three more wishes!





curiousjane added to this post, 0 minutes and 49 seconds later...

FYI - you tasted delicious.
:laugh:

Was that YOU nibbling on my elbow?

[rewhu]

Granted; Young Hammer goes on to study at Juliard and then play for the national Orchestra - to the consummate shame of his parents.

I wish my co-workers weren't such complaining whiners.


I have made this so. You never hear your coworkers complain because you are now the president of your company. Your employees cower in fear of you, and you happily ignore them. One day you discover that they've unionized and proceed to vote you out of power. You are now destitute. Take heart though, I hear that curiousjane's "cubicle" is available. You can probably crash there. How do you feel about dank alleys?

Granted. But he's Pied, for some strange reason, and he leads you to the River Rhine and you enter and drown. So sorry. I'll send my condolences to your family.

I wish I had three more wishes!



[SIZE="1"][i][b]curiousjane Was that YOU nibbling on my elbow?

*munches loudly and grins*

Granted, granted, granted. However all three wishes are the same, "I wish I could lose some weight." You do via Thinner and slowly become non exsistent, fading into nothingness.

I wish I had a personal assistant whose job it was to do nothing but cut my finger nails.

[ChrisM]

Granted. But she wants to do her job all the time, including when you sleep. You wake up with bloody fingers.


I wish I would leave this thread at once!

[rewhu]

Bwahahaha! Hilarious!

Fine, you can leave but then we'll all be talking about you.

I wish that I had some salt and pepper. curiousjane needs spices. Also, I wish that Salt N Pepa would adopt Young Hammer.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; Salt and Peppa move into your house, along with Young Hammer. You are now forced to listen to 'Push It' played on a double bassoon.

I wish I had a buffalo burger right now.

[Lucid]

Granted; Salt and Peppa move into your house, along with Young Hammer. You are now forced to listen to 'Push It' played on a double bassoon.

I wish I had a buffalo burger right now.

Granted. unfortunately your burger is in Buffalo NY.

I wish I had $500.

[Synamon]

Granted. You just sold all your worldly possessions for $500. And then get arrested, naked and with only $500 cash on you, the charge is prostitution. Fortunately bail costs exactly $500 and they accept cash. And let you keep the pretty orange jumpsuit.

I wish I could get fresh local strawberries all year round.

[Motor Jax]

granted, you work on a strawberry farm

i wish Popeye's didn't cost as much as it does

[rewhu]

Granted. You receive in the mail a delux coupon book to Popeye's. For the next month you eat nothing but Popeye's chicken and unknowingly contract food poisoning from a slighlty under cooked drumstick. You call an ambulance. On the way to the hospital you demand that the driver take you to Popeye's.

I wish that the Colonel and Popeye would get into a fist fight to see whose chicken is the tastiest.

[ChrisM]

Granted, Colonel destroys Popeye in a fit of rage with his new roundhouse kick (to the face) Chuck Norris taught him. KFC buys out Popeyes, and Colonel decides to run for President in 2012, with Chuck Norris at his side. Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick anyone who doesn't vote for them come 2012.


I wish I didn't have a wish.

[rewhu]

Granted, Colonel destroys Popeye in a fit of rage...

*collaspes in a laughing fit*

*gasps for breath*

Granted you don't have a wish because you longer have any creativity, desires or brain functions in general. Apparently you've just been lobotomized.

I wish that Eric Roberts was in Pretty Woman instead of Julia Roberts

[bladeserver]

*collaspes in a laughing fit*

*gasps for breath*

Granted you don't have a wish because you longer have any creativity, desires or brain functions in general. Apparently you've just been lobotomized.

I wish that Eric Roberts was in Pretty Woman instead of Julia Roberts
Granted. Nearly. Eric Roberts was cast in Pretty Woman 2 with Dick Cheney as his love interest. You get to see the movie 124 times.


I wish i had my own rollercoaster.

[emanon]

Granted you now own Batman: The Escape (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)unfortunately it is in pieces in a parking lot somewhere.

I wish Lupin would make some more flapjacks.

[Synamon]

Granted. Lupin made some more flapjacks, but they were not as good as the first batch so no one eats them. She notices and gets upset. A killing spree with the bazooka results, all because you wanted more flapjacks.

I wish money grew on trees.

[Lupin]

Granted: It does grow on trees, normally, but due to global warming, there's been an odd increase in the aphid population and this year's harvest of crisp, new notes has spoiled on the twig. Life's tough ain't it........get a job or, better still, get two jobs!

To Emanon, here you are, please help yourself. Take no notice of Synamon's critical view of my culinary skills. Scrummy fruit and oatmeal flapjacks made with a little bit of extra treacle so they're nice and squidgy. Unfortunately, they are here at my place....in France, so either you make it over here or you'll have to go without. Sorry!

I wish I had other options to vent my creative energy other than to bother you nice folks.

[Elfrun]

Granted, but we get wind of your new plans, kidnap you, put you in the over 40's cellar with a laptop and demand that you amuse us. Sorry, we get narky about people deserting.



I wish for breakfast. Now. Here.

[Synamon]

Granted. Have some of Lupin's delicious flapjacks (I only said all those bad things because I wanted them for myself). Oh wait, you didn't say please, and you were pretty demanding, sorry no flapjacks for you Trinity.

I wish I'd never made bladeserver register for the forum.

[Elfrun]

*sits back and waits for the bait to hook the one called 'blade'*

:stunned:

[PHS Philip]

Granted. Have some of Lupin's delicious flapjacks (I only said all those bad things because I wanted them for myself). Oh wait, you didn't say please, and you were pretty demanding, sorry no flapjacks for you Trinity.

I wish I'd never made bladeserver register for the forum.

Granted. He in fact forced you to join, resulting in a butterfly effect that ends with you, an alleyway, and Al Gore.

I wish I knew the stuff for the geometry final tomorrow (algebra is cool. Geometry made a small child create Lake Victoria)

[bladeserver]

Granted. He in fact forced you to join, resulting in a butterfly effect that ends with you, an alleyway, and Al Gore.

I wish I knew the stuff for the geometry final tomorrow (algebra is cool. Geometry made a small child create Lake Victoria)
Granted (studiously ignoring my former friend Synamon). Unfortunately you have forgotten where the test is being held and you unfortunately spend the test period in a line at the department of Motor vehicles.

I wish Synamon didn't hate me quite so much.

[Elfrun]

Bounce *pulls out the guilt card*

:wideeyed:


Ignore me, just here to watch

[Synamon]

Sigh, fine, never go to bed mad they say. Granted, all is forgiven, I blame Lupin for this misunderstanding, labeling me a brazen hussy. (I assumed you'd told her that BS, but it is possible she figured it out on her own)

I wish I didn't feel like someone was watching me. :scared:

[Wapiti]

Granted, you no longer feel like someone is watching you because you are in a home for the blind and they are all touching you.

I wish that this day was just a dream, a bad dream and that I would wake up in a dairy queen next to a starbucks.

[Lupin]

Granted: You are now waking up in Starbucks on Madison Avenue (Dairy Queen is being refurbished) still in your pyjamas which are threadbare in the crotch....not the most pleasant of views as the morning rush hour surges past for their first coffee shot of the day.

I wish I could lie effectively.....it's tough being in this world at times when your terminally honest.

p.s. you poor, poor people....I have ABSOLUTELY no intention of going....yet, and hope to engage you in a little creative project coz you're geniuses........later.......

[ChrisM]

Granted, you are given the ability to lie, and you like it so much that you become a horizontal couch potato.


I wish I didn't hit the report button by accident so much.

[bladeserver]

Granted, you are given the ability to lie, and you like it so much that you become a horizontal couch potato.


I wish I didn't hit the report button by accident so much.
Granted. Unfortunately you are a fighter jet pilot and you now constantly hit the eject button.


I wish that my chair would recreate itself as a bed.

[schwartzie]

granted. Bed recreation for you. (that's what you meant right?)


I wish it were Friday (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

[rwyatt365]

Granted; It is now Friday and you have been transformed into a prop on the set of that video. You are now locked in a warehouse along with other assorted bits and pieces awaiting the next Snoop Dogg video shoot.

I wish I was happier.

[Elfrun]

Granted, you're here with me, yay! It's Friday morning, hope you don't suffer jetlag.

Granted; It is now Friday and you have been transformed into a prop on the set of that video. You are now locked in a warehouse along with other assorted bits and pieces awaiting the next Snoop Dogg video shoot.

I wish I was happier.

Granted, you're happier, then I scowl at you for beating me by a minute and... yep... there it is... you're unhappy again.

*sigh* everyone knows you go to the huggles thread for happieness! :rolleyes:



I wish I was warm (please don't set me on fire).

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you're warm, due to premature menopause. Can you say "Hot Flash"?

BTW - that last corruption was not corrupt at all. Ah, to be away from the deteriorating Rust-Belt and with the elusive Trinity!


Edit: I wish I were a bird.

[Synamon]

Which silly hat is schwartzie from that video?

I wish rwyatt had made a wish for me to corrupt.

[rewhu]

He just did but it's made out of titanium and is uncorruptable.

I wish the song Safety Dance was really about safety pins and their many uses.