corrupt a wish

[Fridays Child]

Granted. What a shame you didn't ask to play it well.

I wish to cancel my season's tickets to the symphony.

[le Duc]

Granted. The tickets are cancelled but the orchestra was going out anyway and all the money left to refund went to the bloke in front of you.

I wish to sail the seven seas.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. You are now a bottle with a message in it, and a long way to go.

I wish I'd asked for more wine.

[le Duc]

Granted. You had asked, long ago, and you remember it now. You're still not sure why or what happens next, though, and you still desire the wine.

I wish for profundity.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Profundity Market Strategy Systems is your all-in-one-basket investment portfolio and you are delighted to hear that they are investing in Sunrise Propane Industrial Gases.

I wish you'd read that propectus first.

[le Duc]

Granted. I invested knowingly using superior reasoning as displayed on a 'how to' thread. As such, I am delighted by the performance thus far.

I wish for a laugh.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Installing a laugh instead of that horn is a truly smart move, Toot-O le Clown.

I wish to never see a circus again.

[Wapiti]

Granted, but it truly saddens me to gouge your eyes out.

I wish that song would get out of my head.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Now you hear To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. instead. I pity you...

I wish I hadn't done that, but I had no choice.

[le Duc]

Granted. Now you have many choices, and a highly elevated P so that you can never decide between them. Life is now a flurry of unending options that make your head spin.

I wish I was a technological genius.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. You are. But you're in the 19th century now, so yay! for steam engine mastery.

I wish I had googly eyes.

[le Duc]

Granted. Unfortunately, a googel eyes can only go on a very large head.

I wish it was time to go home.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. It is! DISCLAIMER: results not typical and may vary by region.

I wish shrimps were vegetables.

[le Duc]

Granted. You are now visiting the infirmary where short, frail lads are completely paralyzed. It's very sad.

I wish not to wish.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. No.. wait. Ungranted. I mean, granted but not really. I... grrrr

I wish for something really sensible, like puppies.

[le Duc]

Granted. You have a very sensible set of wolves (baby wolves, so they're like puppies) who understand that to live, a canine must eat. They are heading down your neighborhood street in search of meat. You may want to take action.

I wish I existed.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. You do. In fact, you're completely visible at all times even though you can't see us. I foresee a few problems, there.

I wish it wasn't such a long way to Tipperary.

[le Duc]

Granted. Time stands still and it will take no time at all to get there. But you can't spend any time there either.

I wish there were a fourth dimension.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Well, there was a fourth dimension, until you made it stand still. Way to corrupt your own wish, le Duc.

I wish the waiter would bring me some change.

[le Duc]

Granted. Your waiter is afraid to face the sour-faced fellow at the table next, and thus has brought you the bloke's change for you to pass on to him.

I wish for a new phone.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Here's your tin. Pull the string taut, et voila!

I wish shoelaces had more flavour.

[le Duc]

Granted. Now they're coated with sugar, cinnamon, and other tantalizing flavors so wonderful that they're irresistible even though they're even harder to chew now (part of the coating process, you understand).

I wish to enjoy a fine wine.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Here. Hold this bottle for me while I change my yummy new shoelaces. I hope you enjoyed that.

I wish I had a new pen.

[le Duc]

Granted. You've been transferred to the much-less-prisoner-friendly local penitentiary three counties over. They don't even have sheets.

I wish for an end to double meanings.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Now there are only mean doubles. Watch out, Wimbledon.

I wish I knew the secret code.

[ClaireMD]

You do! You know how hard it is to keep a secret!

I wish I were at the beach.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Sadly, it's Omaha Beach, June 6 1944. And it's cloudy; what a shame.

I wish someone would cut my nails.

[le Duc]

Granted. They cut each one in half, and now your house is most unstable.

I wish I lived in Middle Earth.

[ClaireMD]

Granted, but you'll have to speak in Middle English.

I wish the blue sky were vermillion as it was a million posts ago at the start of that other thread.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. But expect a committee of shepherds and sailors any minute now.

I wish for the seas to never run dry.

[ClaireMD]

Ah, do you now, lassie? It's granted and you'll never be a lubber as long as you swim.

I wish the dog weren't breathing on me.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Ut oh. Well, I'm sure he had a good long life, in dog years.

I wish to sing a song I've never heard.

[ClaireMD]

If you've never heard it, are you sure it's a song? Granted, but you may wish you'd gargled first.

I'd like to make a short story long.

[Fridays Child]

I'll grant your implied wish.

A


s

h

o

r

t



s

t

o

r

y



I wish all stories were that entertaining.

[ClaireMD]

All yours! They are entertaining when we keep from restraining ourselves from
d
r
a
w
i
n
g

them out!

I wish, I wish I were in North Dakota and the tumble weeds were rolling on the snow. (Musical notes to wrap around this.)

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Although you may well be the only person ever to wish they were in North Dakota in winter.

I wish to fly over the Grand Canyon, without Elvis.

[bladeserver]

Granted, more or less. Look the Elvis thing was too tricky and you, of all people, know how he insists on accompanying every trip. I did give him 5 packs of twinkies so he should be fairly quiet if that's any consolation.

I wish to face my face.

[le Duc]

Granted. You now have a mirror. All thoughts of your avatar are far removed, and you realize you've been looking at yourself every morning for a long time and just wasted a perfectly good opportunity to wish.

I wish for the grocery shopping to be finished.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. But don't say I didn't warn you. Wait. I did warn you, right?

I wish I had as long a shelf life as Twinkies.

[le Duc]

Granted. You will now sit on the shelf until the end of all things. Perfectly preserved as everything else wastes away, because you haven't the elf-power of preserving what is around you.

I wish my yard were larger.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. You now have a metre.

I wish that didn't make me laugh so much, now everyone will know I'm a geek.

[le Duc]

Granted. You now don't understand humor and only laugh when tickled. Actually, we removed the ticklish, too. Instead of geek, you become wittily inert.

I wish to be in control.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. You are now the designated control/alt/delete function. Don't hurt me.

I wish all my favourite flowers weren't spring ones.

[le Duc]

Granted. You now prefer fake flower replicas that are readily available year 'round... and equally dull year 'round, too.

I wish for an end to poverty.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. However, it's only mine that's affected.

I wish I could have included you, but I'm way too selfish to care.

[le Duc]

Granted. You could include me... except you were able to before, you just didn't. Since you wished for something you already had, it confused all the granting, and now your poverty is back.

I wish I could slip away unnoticed.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. But now your skirt will ride up at the back. How embarrassment.

I wish I'd been less selfish now.

[le Duc]

Granted. It was all an act. Unfortunately, so is this entire thread, and so your poverty still remains.

I wish imagination could become reality.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. ALL your nightmares come true at once.

I still wish there was some way around this poverty thing. I would even consider being nice to people.

[le Duc]

Granted. Money is no longer relevant to life, thus how much one has is as meaningful as the number of posts one has. Oh wait...

I wish I were not arachnaphobic.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. You are not to are arachnaphobic. Or something like you wrote originally, before your edit. :p

I wish for miles of smiles.

[le Duc]

Granted. A legion of armed soldiers, each smiling broadly, waits in formation on either side of the path to escort you to your doom.

I wish to be fast and accurate simultaneously.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. But you should have checked with Mme le Duc before you wished. She is less keen on your idea of touring France in 3 minutes or less.

I wish I had a recharger.

[le Duc]

Granted. You now can plug yourself in and feel completely recharged in only five minutes. This new system does require a refueling session once every half hour. It's also immobile. See you in a few.

I wish I were a working woman.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. But the "working" part is redundant, you know.

I wish life was just a bowl of cherries.

[le Duc]

Granted. You're a fruitcake and your life is the pits.

I wish it wasn't naptime. (Although I'm glad it is.)

[Fridays Child]

Granted. (And you saw this coming, surely.) Naptime is cancelled. The duclings are now very very cross.

I wish to not be your next-door neighbour.

[le Duc]

Granted. We're moving for that very reason, but a family that strangely resembles the Little Rascals has purchased our flat and you'll never get any sound sleep again.

I wish it were not redundant.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. It is no longer redundant. However, it is no longer redundant. Luckily, it is no longer redundant.

I wish to complain.

[le Duc]

Granted. You now have every reason to complain, and everyone listens attentively, too. they shake their heads sadly at the injustice, and mutter kind words of hope that something will be done.

I wish to live in a castle.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Here's a bucket and spade and a flag for the top. Have a nice day at the beach.

I wish the sky was the limit.

[bladeserver]

Granted. According to a rather eccentric, but now accurate (thanks to you), theory the world is actually a giant yolkless egg with the outer limits of the sky forming the shell. What you don't know is that the Universe is full of evil creatures with yolk tapping spoons.
I wish i had more insight.

[le Duc]

Granted. You can now see in twice as many colors, but most of the new ones are used except in advanced computer graphics.

I wish for peace in our time.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Whirled peas, 6pm, our place. Yum yum.

I wish I were safe from yolk tapping spoons.

[le Duc]

Granted. All the yolks have been fried and are no longer active. Unfortunately, something is still tapping those spoons... no idea what...

I wish to eat.

[Lupin]

Granted. Please have mine, it's home-made veggie soup with toast and butter. Dull but good for you!

I wish extraverts weren't so pleased with themselves all the time.....well, the word is smug if you want to be precise.

[le Duc]

Granted. Extroverts are now dissatisfied with how they do things... so they're going to redouble their efforts and try even harder.

I wish to hide.

[Lupin]

Granted. You have just disappeared but your mask and cape remain....oooh those little ears. A bit like Zorro only different ;).

I wish I could decide between extra and extro.

[le Duc]

Granted. Your decisive choice of an extra version leaves you with an additional volume of every work you own, with slight alterations for the different printing. Now you are left with deciding which one to use.

I wish for a return to abnormalcy.

[schwartzie]

Here (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)ya go. I hope you like silence.


I wish I loved this watery place; I wish I loved its salt embrace.

[le Duc]

Granted. You shall now stay there always. Unfortunately, you are made of iron.

I wish it were not for naught.

[Jesseh]

Granted, but now it's out of your price range. =p

I wish I was in England with Adam!

[hypervel]

Granted. You meld together and become Adam Ant.

I wish I wasn't such a goodie two shoes.

[Jesseh]

Wish granted, but now you're in jail for genocide.

I wish I would win the lottery!

[le Duc]

Granted. You win the $100 scratch-off on a card you bought at the fueling station. You then put that much in your fuel tank.

I wish for solitude.

[Jesseh]

Granted, but now you're in straight jacket in a padded cell.

I wish I wasn't so hungry right now!

[schwartzie]

granted. you snack on whatever is at hand. hope you like dogs, instead.

*EEEK*

I wish for forgiveness

[le Duc]

Granted. But only half forgave you. The others come seeking vengeance.

I wish for autumn breezes.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you now have a case of new Bounce fabric softner with the fresh new "Autumn Breeze" scent. Enjoy!

I wish I didn't have so many meetings today.

[le Duc]

Granted. You're fired.

I wish for meaningful employment.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; you are now employed by the publishers of Webster's Dictionary. You new position is the answer the phone calls where people ask, "What's the meaning of that?"

I wish I were on my way to a job interview in the Virgin Islands.

[le Duc]

Granted. They are required to interview at least five people, so after they found their pick in the first interview, they randomly selected four more to bring in. You're the third. Enjoy the trip.

I wish for gain without pain.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Gapainin. Now, what did you want that for, again?

I wish to beat rwyatt to the next post.

[le Duc]

Granted, except now it was the previous post. How long was that wish supposed to last?

I wish for flowers. (Don't ask me why.)

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Here's rosemary, for remembrance.

I wish for clear sailing.

[le Duc]

Granted. Don't worry, you'll start moving soon. Yeah, when the wind fills the sails. It's starting already. Yes, I know you can't see them. Just trust me.

I wish to learn faster.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Follow this recipe: drink water all day, eat nothing. Et voila.

I wish I could have known.

[le Duc]

Granted. You could've. And now the knowledge that you missed this opportunity will haunt you all your born days. (And maybe your other days, too.)

I wish to know the difference.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Eight minus three is five.

I wish I were always this helpful.

[simoncpu]

Granted; now, do my laundry please.

I wish I could travel to other dimensions.

[le Duc]

Granted. Your forum is just a click away.

I wish to rise above.

[simoncpu]

Granted. Your head hits the ceiling, and you die.

I wish to have the power to resurrect dead people.

[bladeserver]

Granted. Your head hits the ceiling, and you die.

I wish to have the power to resurrect dead people.
Granted. Hey is it you that's responsible for Attila the Hun moving in to #42?? I didn't mind Goebbels that much (chatty fella) but this is just going too far.

I wish that I had normal powers.

[le Duc]

Granted. Bwahahahahaha. It's called bald samson syndrome.

I wish I were alive.

[bladeserver]

Granted. You are now so alive and so damn cuddly and bubbly you take over Richard Simmons role in the national consciousness.

I wish potash was easier to extract.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. The heap behind your house has taken a shift for the down... happy extracting.

I wish I had a kite.

[le Duc]

Granted. It is now eating your other pets since you forgot to feed it.

I wish for an end to huggles.

[Fridays Child]

GRANTED. Sorry. Got all keen on that one. Alas, I must corrupt the wish, so let's see... um, okay. You get an end to all huggles, except for YOU!

I wish to avoid the Dread Roberts.

[schwartzie]

as. you. wish. you'll visit neither patagonia or the revenge.

I wish I had a farm boy.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. His name is Oleg and he is 6 months old. He'll be amazing by the time you are ready for the Heaven's Gate Nursing Home.

I wish I could at least have seen Patagonia.

[le Duc]

Granted. To amuse you, your captors have put it up in large letters on the wall of your cell.

I wish I had normal vision.

[simoncpu]

Granted. You discover, to your surprise, that your girlfriend is ugly.

I wish to drink beer tonight.

[le Duc]

Granted. We've raised the maximum number of drinks so you can keep going.

I wish for clear skies.



Granted. You discover, to your surprise, that your girlfriend is ugly.

At least my wife will be happy to hear that.

[simoncpu]

Granted. We've raised the maximum number of drinks so you can keep going.

I wish for clear skies.


Granted; now, Earth is stripped of its atmosphere, and all living things die.

I wish for an Utopian world where pain and sickness don't exist.

[hongi]

Granted, Mars is lovely this time of year.

I wish for a short warm ale.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. That wish came pre-corrupted. ETo view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I wish for a slice of life.

[simoncpu]

Granted. That wish came pre-corrupted. ETo view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I wish for a slice of life.

Granted. You see a newborn baby being welcomed to the world by her parents. You feel a sense of awe as you watch her open her eyes for the very first time, so fragile and so innocent. You pick her up and kiss her, then suddenly, the baby is sliced in half an her head falls off. You have in your hands a slice of life.

I wish for coffee.

[schwartzie]

granted. Monsieu LD, despite his nasty chest cold, brings you a cup of hot cough-y.

I wish to embrace change.

[bladeserver]

Granted. I have arranged for a group hug with two bags of quarters and a roll of nickels.


I wish that time would stand still.

[schwartzie]

granted. Thyme is still standing. Harvest next month.

I wish quackgrass could survive a frost.

[simoncpu]

Granted. I have arranged for a group hug with two bags of quarters and a roll of nickels.


I wish that time would stand still.

Granted. Time stood still in your world for almost an eternity, but since you live in that world, you didn't notice the slightest bit the anomaly that happened in the flow of time.

I wish to have a million dollars.

[Fridays Child]

granted. Thyme is still standing. Harvest next month.

I wish quackgrass could survive a frost.

Granted. Quackgrass now survives even permafrost, and the maddening noise of it sends the world teetering to the brink of despair. A mere flick of the fingers... and it's all over.

I wish I had a crystal ball.

[schwartzie]

An elegant dress with gimlet eyes. Grand ice sculptures. Champagne and musicians in white. A crystal ball. I wonder what dances one does with a thousand legs?

I wish for successful meetings.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Two cars will succeed in meeting on the way to work today. One of them will be yours. Fortunately, you're not in it since you were hijacked last night and left to walk 60 miles home shoeless in the rain. What luck!

I wish I lived in a museum.

[le Duc]

Granted. They made a movie about you, only they didn't quite capture it all, I don't think. Have fun being a wax figurine by day.

I wish I was awake.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. It's 3am. Now what?

I wish I were asleep.

[le Duc]

Granted. Your house is on fire, too.

I wish rain drops would stop falling on my head.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. It's now locusts.

I wish to be a superhero, too.

[le Duc]

Granted. You're Spiderman II. On DVD. Have fun being a disc.

I wish for an uncorrupted granting.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Fancy wasting your one uncorrupted wish on that.

I wish I wasn't so happy.

[le Duc]

FC: Granted. Life is just as you always wanted it, and now you are unalterably sad. A pity, really.

S: Granted. You still can't post fast enough, though, and that's your real mission.

I wish there were fewer options.

[schwartzie]

S: Granted. You still can't post fast enough, though, and that's your real mission.

true.
i'll just take this off-topic moment to note that this thread is approaching 100 pages.
:cool:

granted.... you have fewer options, but then, you are a parent, which means you signed up for this. enjoy.

[Lupin]

Just as Schwartzie says, there are fewer options, far fewer.

I wish parenting and a career didn't appear in practice to be mutually exclusive.

[le Duc]

Granted. There's a little country in north-central Asia that pays citizens to have kids. On the other hand, I hear the climate isn't so hot. (Literally.)

I wish for one personality.

[schwartzie]

wait, Lupin, my little post was not that corrupting. They are NOT mutually exclusive.

I had in mind more like.... oh, say, eating chicken mcnuggets 4 days a week because the ducklings refuse to eat any thing else for a year or two. That sort of thing. Or learning to loooooove disney cartoons, esp. after about the 140th viewing each.

You just get out there and make a boy. Pregnancy is best in the winter. All that nutrition circulating keeps every tip of every appendage toasty warm. It is lovely. I never felt better than during the 2nd trimester. I could slay dragons! Make two ducklings, in fact... they can hit each other instead of you. (tha's my unsolicited advice...)

*and unsolicitedly huggles lupin*
sigh... big choices....

[le Duc]

My wife would second the endorsement pregnancy in winter. We also found that having two duclings is great... but they're harder if they both come at once.;)

I wish for the teen years.

[simoncpu]

My wife would second the endorsement pregnancy in winter. We also found that having two duclings is great... but they're harder if they both come at once.;)

I wish for the teen years.

Granted. Freckles is now all over your face. You now walk awkwardly, and you suddenly forget all your sexual experiences.

I wish for telepathic abilities.

[le Duc]

Granted. ...

I wish for a rainbow.

[rwyatt365]

Granted; Here's a box of Skittles ("A rainbow of flavors in every bite")

I wish this day was over.

[le Duc]

Granted. It's now tomorrow, but today's work is still on your desk.

I wish for freedom.

[Uberfuhrer]

Granted. It's now tomorrow, but today's work is still on your desk.

I wish for freedom.

Granted. You're free, but that means you're not worth much to others and you'll probably be disposed like a compass at the bottom of a Cracker Jack box.

I wish for Crysis to run halfway decent in Crossfire mode on my two HD4850s.

[schwartzie]

I wish for Crysis to run halfway decent in Crossfire mode on my two HD4850s.

It runs half decent: 's smokin' on one of your hds You are a Turk. The other card fails. You go spastic.

I wish I was more talented.



LD: "I wish for the teen years." Hah! Do you need a nice bridge to go w that?

[le Duc]

Granted. You now are able to juggle expertly, fence with the best of them, and make rabbits appear out of hats. I hope you find these talents useful.

I wish I were an oscar mayer weiner.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. You will now be boiled in water, grilled over an open flame... dropped on the ground, and fed to the dog. What a silly silly wish.

I wish I could be that silly.

[simoncpu]

Granted. You are now silly, and people laugh at your face. Haha. What a silly wish.

I wish I could be as sarcastic as an IxTJ.

[Lupin]

Granted. But it means intensive classes for the next 20 years at a "special school", and you know the sort of institution I'm talking about ;).

I wish trying too hard would become easier.

[bladeserver]

Granted. You now play rugby effortlessly.

I wish to see heaven.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. We have a cancellation for 3pm. Would that suit you?

I wish for 1000 paper cranes.

[bladeserver]

Granted. Now you can build your very own birds nest.

I wish Fridays travel agency would open once in a while.

[le Duc]

Granted. Definitions of 'awhile' may vary.

I wish for it to be official.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. It's official. I just bought you for 25 camels.

Did I get a good deal?

[le Duc]

Quadrupeds or cigarettes?

I wish FC would remember what thread she's on...;)

[Fridays Child]

Ack. I'd grant that, but it seems I'd only corrupt myself and I'm in enough bother as it is.

I wish for a tap-dancing newt.

[le Duc]

Granted. But you also get Guthie Fink-Nottle.

I wish for a proper valet.

[schwartzie]

granted. your valet no longer calls you "buddy."

I wish you were here!

[Lupin]

Granted. You have the choice of Bladey Blade the Queen of valets who insists on wearing tights under his uniform or Fridays who's only available on, er, Fridays when she's loving and giving. Your call....:)

Granted. I am here, sadly, with no sunshine, a pile of stuff to do....with a glass of red :) (sun's shining again...)

I wish that person hadn't used my card details in the Philippines.....that sort of money goes a loooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg way over there.

Sorry, was too tardy, again.

*groan*

p.s. huge apologies for the unsightly messy post. Humbly yours, Loops.

[le Duc]

Granted. They used it in New York City, and thus had to use a whole lot more.

I wish I wasn't loopy.

[inquisitive]

Granted but now you are so intelligent and sane that every conversation you have bores you to tears because you are above everyones intelligence.

I wish for world peace.

[Lupin]

Granted. You have world peace but it's on another planet and you are in fact an alien....surprised you didn't work that one out before.

I wish you'd stop eyeing up Le Duc in the Taverne.....watchout...his significant other's got quite a temper so don't be too inquisitive.

[le Duc]

Granted. A stunning ESFP just walked in. I have no worries, except for the health of my patrons if he gets drunk. *note to self*

I wish for white-out.

[Jesseh]

Granted you get white-out, however it spills all over your lap.

I wish I knew why something so weird and improbable happened to me.

[le Duc]

Granted. Only now you don't know when.

I wish for two free hands.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. I'll throw in four strong winds, a conestoga wagon and a banana.

I wish I had a python.

[bladeserver]

Monty isn't available but here is Henry. Feed him frequently and all will be fine.


Is parallel parking hereditary?

[Fridays Child]

No, but it should be recessive.

Why do cones have to suffer?

[Jesseh]

Because they had it coming to them.

I wish for a good nights sleep tonight.

[Lupin]

Granted. But you have to get up at 05.00 like I did.....seems a bit of waste of good zzzzz's really.

I wish for closure (that's for closure not foreclosure....ok credit crunchers?)

[le Duc]

Granted. Everything's all defined, wrapped up, finished, concluded, etc. There is nothing left for you to think about or do. Now what?

I wish for randomness.

[simoncpu]

Granted. Now, everything that you touch randomly blows up. You don't know for certain which things will explode or not. On top of that, you have now been transformed into an INTP.

I wish for ice cream.

[ssrprotege]

Granted. You just said, "I scream!!!!!!!" Now you are in a white house.

I wish I didn't have to write this.

[le Duc]

Granted. You don't. You can type it instead.

I wish I could regulate wishing.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. One for you and the rest for me seems fair.

I wish I could snap my fingers.

[le Duc]

Granted. Of course, once you've snapped them off, then what will you do?

I wish they wouldn't cry in unison.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. They cry atonally. Oh swell. That's so much better.

I wish for silence.

[schwartzie]

granted. touch (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) the sound of silence

I wish the sea was green.

[le Duc]

Granted. We have renamed it 'Green Sea.' You can also check out the Black Sea over in East Asia.

I wish to be a musician.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. You are now Tiny Tim. Don't be crushing the tulips.

Who thought the ukelele was a good idea?

[schwartzie]

um...granted...?

I wish this was a thread for corrupting wishes.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. I was in a daze from picturing le Duc as Tiny Tim. We now return to crushing dreams and hopes and apologise for the disturbance in the ether.

I wish I knew the art of war.

[LordMaiestas]

Granted. Napoleon is none of your match except for Sun Tzu

I wish i am the King of the universe

[le Duc]

Granted. Next time, specify which universe, as our collective will maintain rule in this one.

I wish for corruption.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. No embalming for you.

I wish to know what became of my other shoe.

[le Duc]

Granted. But now you don't know what happened to the first one.

I wish for continuity.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Scene #235 where you suddenly appear in the street wearing a pink frock instead of a green one has been removed for editing continuity values.

I wish life had an edit option.

[le Duc]

Granted. Unfortunately, something got messed up in the programming, and you can't edit your own. The rest of us can edit it for you, though. <insert maniacal laughter>

I wish for supper.

[schwartzie]

granted. I have a lovely gazpacho for a late sunday dinner. very late.

I wish for for my ducklings to be safely home abed.

[Synamon]

Granted, your rubber duckies are bobbing happily in the bath. As are you, even though the water is cold and you are getting pruney.

I wish the neighbors dog would stop barking.

[schwartzie]

well that did it. funeral is tomorrow. happy?

I wish the neighbor would not smoke on his balcony.

[Synamon]

Alrighty, he's in your room smoking instead. Happy?


I wish my last wish hadn't killed a dog.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Now the neighbour's dog is smoking in your room. Happy?

I wish I hadn't chosen that avacado.

[Dream Weaver]

Granted. You choose the other ,even worse, avocado.

I wish my two cats would get along.

[JustMel]

Granted. Now you have a third that doesn't get along with the first two.

I wish I had a way to make a certain someone disappear permanently.

[simoncpu]

Granted. Now you have a third that doesn't get along with the first two.

I wish I had a way to make a certain someone disappear permanently.

Granted. Now, the police is looking for you.

I wish I could immediately absorb the contents of a book just by touching it.

[LordMaiestas]

Granted. You absorb all the content of your daily playboy magazine

I wish for death to all.

[Dream Weaver]

Granted. You were including yourself in that "all" weren't ya?

I wish I could get a good night's sleep.

[simoncpu]

Granted, but you sleep forever.

I wish for something exciting.

[Dream Weaver]

Granted. Isn't "death for all" exciting?

I wish that this toothache would go away.

[simoncpu]

Granted. Now you lose all your teeth.

I wish to go to outer space.

[bladeserver]

Granted. But next time I suggest using a rocket as it took ages to make this bloody big catapult.

I wish I knew more average Joes.

[le Duc]

Granted. Now every morning for the next year, your cup of joe is just that: average.

I wish to climb the corporate ladder.

[bladeserver]

Granted. I found this Enron ladder really cheap and it seems as good as any. The rungs look a little slippery but I know you are nimble.

I wish Tom Brady was truly a deity.

[le Duc]

Granted. The Greeks had evil gods, too.

I wish we all could be like Peyton.

[schwartzie]

granted. Off to the sports page with your never-ending comparing yourself to other sports guys.

I wish I wasn't so pruney.

[le Duc]

Granted. Now you're a bird, and always preening instead.

I wish for an end to offenses.

[schwartzie]

All Fences B-Gone? sure. At the Sportsman's Mart, in the deer hunting section.

I wish it were Memorial day, not Labor day. Ahhh...summer stretching before us....

[le Duc]

Granted. Executive order: it's Memorial Day. And it's still September.

I wish to excel.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Your clothes are now all XL, and still too small. Oh, dear.

I wish it were September 1st.

[le Duc]

I'll grant that one tomorrow.

I wish for a cessation of hostilities.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Let's fire some weapons in celebration. Oops. I really ought to have specified direction.

I wish that it was always September.

[le Duc]

Me too.

Er, granted. Now it always is and we're always happy and... there's a downside somewhere...

I wish to never fall.

[simoncpu]

Granted. You now acquire the powers of anti-gravity, causing you to fly off into outer space. You suffocate as you leave Earth's atmosphere.

I wish to make a robot.

[le Duc]

Granted. Your powers of reproduction are complete.

I wish for .

[simoncpu]

Granted:
...... ....... ..........
... . ... ... ..........
... . ... ... ....
....... ....... ....


I wish for ?

[Synamon]

Granted. Here is a question for just for you... how are you? You can think of nothing else all day. Enjoy pondering. Let us know when you come up with an answer.


I wish I hadn't procrastinated.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. I'll corrupt it later.

I wish I had a literary device.

[simoncpu]

Granted. Here is a question for just for you... how are you? You can think of nothing else all day. Enjoy pondering. Let us know when you come up with an answer.


I'm not so fine. I just finished watching "The Happening". I was like, "what the hell?"

I wasted a few hours of my life watching the movie! Waaaaaaaaaaah!!!1!

[schwartzie]

I wish I had a literary device.

here, have a kindle (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).
You can read: "the future..."
To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
w a creative commons license.
-----------------------------------------

I'm not so fine. I just finished watching "The Happening". I was like, "what the hell?" I wasted a few hours of my life watching the movie! Waaaaaaaaaaah!!!1!

Under law of the thread this is deemed a wish. You are granted few more wasted hours. enjoy the film.


I wish I were creative.

[le Duc]

Granted. You now have a new patentable idea every day. A pity they come too fast for you to act on them.

I wish for autumn.

[thoke]

Granted. Urm, you are covered in dead leaves and now you can't breathe...

I wish I could understand this game without bothering to read the start of the thread.

[schwartzie]

granted you are doing smashing. you can start on the second post.

I wish for a nice patent lawyer who IS fast enough to keep up.

[le Duc]

Granted. Not only that, he started patenting them for himself. Clever little devil.

I wish to stave off impending doom.

[thoke]

Granted. You successfully stave off impending doom simply by continuing to exist into the immediate future. The doom is no longer impending; it is current. You're doomed.

I wish I'd started my masters dissertation a long time ago.

[le Duc]

Granted. You did. Thanks for sharing your closing line, above.

I wish your professor had a sense of humor, too.

[ssrprotege]

Granted. You find his humour so funny that you died of a heart attack while laughing.

I wish le Duc reveals his identity...what's he hiding behind that shadowy avatar?!

[thoke]

Granted. le Duc takes of his Bat-mask and reveals himself to be an incredibly ugly, overweight woman. Now every time (s)he posts on this forum you have to look at a picture of the most hideous face you've ever seen in your life. It makes you physically sick.

I wish the days were about 2 hours longer.

[le Duc]

Granted. We now have twenty-six 55-minute hours.

I wish you had an avatar.

[thoke]

Granted. Now you get to look at my ugly face.

I wish I had a decent picture of myself.

[Synamon]

Granted, you are dressed so your picture is decent, however it is still unrecognizable.


I wish my tea wasn't cold.

[schwartzie]

granted. now you have a tepid T. rather sad, after such a good run...

I wish my tea was iced.

[Synamon]

Granted. Just for you, an Ice Age to cool your tea. I hope you have a sweater.


I wish my tepid tea was hot.

[schwartzie]

Granted: piping hot tea. If only one could get it out of the pipe!

I wish the ice age (aka winter) was not just around the bend.

[Synamon]

Sigh me too. Oh wait I get to corrupt that. Granted winter got lost and isn't around the bend, instead we get summer for 2 more months as a default. Yeah I know, I cheated. Fine, winter is actually around the bend but will have to slow down for the curve and we get a nice long mild fall before it arrives. I refuse to corrupt this wish any further.


I wish the wish corruption police weren't coming for me.

[simoncpu]

Granted. The corruption police is now going to eat your baby.

I wish I have brushed my teeth today.

[schwartzie]

's ok. It wouldda been too hard to find them where they all fell out, anyway.

I wish I had not had to think 'bout that. I'd 've made a lousy tooth fairy.

[le Duc]

Granted. How thoughtless of you.

I wish for a better bit of butter.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Here's some, made from the milk of contented walruses. It's awful, but voted top new product at the lactose-free symposium at New Rochelle last week.

I wish I wasn't on the committee.

[le Duc]

Granted. You're now seated among the committee. Enjoy the meeting.

I wish for the ability to wish.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. You have the ability to wish. But what a shame that you don't have my ability to make them all come true.

I wish I could resist such temptation.

[le Duc]

Granted. But your ability to resist the other temptations has lessened.

I wish to be guilt-free.

[simoncpu]

Granted. Every time you feel guilty, it costs you $1.

I wish for chocolate.

[schwartzie]

granted. come right in here my child and have some lovely fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies and frosty cold milk.

I wish my stove were hot enough to bake some more, and that you'd peek in and see if it is.



*muffled cackling*

[le Duc]

Granted. You do. He did. We won't tell anyone, and I think that level of corruption is sufficient.

I wish to enjoy the party.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. The Monster Raving Loony Party will enjoy you, too.

I wish Screaming Lord Sutch could be there to welcome you personally.

[le Duc]

Granted. Since it wasn't a real title, nobody inherited it. And nobody will greet me.

I wish for a good laugh.

[Jesseh]

Granted, you have a good laugh, unfortunately no other laugh will be as good as the one you just had!

I wish that I could get away for a while, a nice relaxing get away.

[le Duc]

Granted. The cops were looking the other way, and you didn't even have to run. The most relaxing getaway ever. Shoot, you forgot the loot.

I wish for guacamole.

[Jesseh]

Granted, but the guacamole is actually a sedentary life form with a family to support.

I wish I could find a worth while boyfriend.

[le Duc]

I wish I could find a worth while boyfriend.

Granted. You found great worth by following the map to the red X. Not sure how you do that 'while boyfriend,' so you'll have to work that out yourself.

I wish to raise.

[ScurvyRose]

I wish to raise.

Granted: You are raised, except now you are part of the two scoops in Raisin Bran!

I wish for a walk in closet!

[le Duc]

Granted. Beware of the Narnia portal.

I wish for a swim.

[Jesseh]

Granted: You are raised, except now you are part of the two scoops in Raisin Bran!

I wish for a walk in closet!

Granted, but you run into Tom Cruise and John Travolta while you're in there and convert to Scientology.

I wish I had a Nintendo wii with all the trimmings!!!





Jesseh added to this post, 3 minutes and 14 seconds later...

Granted. Beware of the Narnia portal.

I wish for a swim.


Granted, you get your swim, but then your lower body evolves into that of a mermans.

Like I said, I wish I had a Nintendo wii!!!

[le Duc]

Granted. It's broken. Have fun with that expensive frisbee.

I wish for the ultimate pen.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Pelican Bay is filling up nicely now with INTJs. Enjoy the solitude, won't you?

I wish I had stopped at the second floor.

[le Duc]

Granted. You got there first. But a minute too late.

I wish to go all the way to the top.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. You make it to the roof. Unfortunately, the elevator wasn't expected to go quite that high. Anyone for strawberry jam?

I wish to delete last year.

[le Duc]

Granted. Now you only wish to delete. Granted. Just give me a head start, okay?

I wish to see next year.

[simoncpu]

Granted. You can now see next year. Before 2008 ends though, you will remain blind.

I wish to pee.

[LordMaiestas]

Granted. Now you have the urge to pee every 30 minutes

I wish to have immortality.

[Fridays Child]

Granted. Shame about those 129 life sentences, though.

I wish for raspberries.

[le Duc]

Granted. We'll blow some your way.

I wish for a straw man.