Umm... arguing is stupid?

[Learning]

Somtimes I just really think arguing is stupid. I understand that when a person has a deep conviction about something it's hard not to speak boldly about it. It just doesn't make sense to me though to yell & argue, especially when it's about an issue/core belief that will not change as a result of the argument. It mostly just seems unproductive. Does anyone else think this way? I guess I can see if the discussion just gets heated & there's an end in sight... making a heated discussion genuine as well as a means to an end. But when there's clearly not going to be something productive/good that comes out of it... what's the point? (I realize I may have something to learn here... and perhaps that this is un-intj-like.)

[Zilal]

I'm not an arguer either, unless I'm playing around.

[AgentofGaming]

On arguing as in debate
Well cores can be hard to chip at but you can take a layer off the top. What matters to me is being able to pick up some new perspectives by exchanging a few points. It's discussion as entertainment it may get a bit heated but as long as it's more informational it makes it better than chit chat. Don't take it too seriously though, that leads to hostility.

+ perspective
+ learning (hopefully)
+ entertainment
- time
- disagreements (which is not necessarily a con)

[The Rose]

Somtimes I just really think arguing is stupid. I understand that when a person has a deep conviction about something it's hard not to speak boldly about it. It just doesn't make sense to me though to yell & argue, especially when it's about an issue/core belief that will not change as a result of the argument. It mostly just seems unproductive. Does anyone else think this way? I guess I can see if the discussion just gets heated & there's an end in sight... making a heated discussion genuine as well as a means to an end. But when there's clearly not going to be something productive/good that comes out of it... what's the point? (I realize I may have something to learn here... and perhaps that this is un-intj-like.)I absolutely agree 100%. Why should I waste my breath?!
I'm not going to change my mind, you're equally entrenched in your opinion,
therefore we will just have to agree to disagree and be done with it.
Some people enjoy debate for the fun of it, but I don't.

[youngblooded]

Screaming and yelling at each other has never solved anything. I firmly believe in that

[ssfanatic]

The whole idea that if you yell at a person and that is will somehow convince them of your point is just foolish. There is also the person that, no matter the amount of evidence you show them, they never accept your idea bec they are comfortable following their convictions blindly, fools. But to have a calm voice and discuss a topic of which you both have different views, is not wrong to me. I think that it just opens your mind. But the person that will sit with you and talk calmly is pretty much non-existent in my atmosphere. sad sad :(

[Aoiluna]

I hate to argue because it doesnt get anywhere. I think I may, however, come off as argumentative when I state my opinions or points. This causes my esfj friend to automatically go into a spiel about how rude I am and he always ends up getting really defensive. We end up getting in many little arguments every day, its quite draining. It takes a lot of effort to explain myself to him, he just doesnt get it. Im his favorite 'psychobitch' friend. ha.

Back on topic though...yes arguing is stupid.

[AgentofGaming]

I hate when people's arguments turn into yelling and violence. Throwing things and having high volume doesn't get the point across. It only makes them repulsed.

Those who can't keep a cool head, should goto they're rooms until they calm down.

[JTG]

I may, however, come off as argumentative when I state my opinions or points. This causes my esfj friend to automatically go into a spiel about how rude I am and he always ends up getting really defensive.

I get this with a lot of people (pretty much any SJ i know)

[Learning]

Zilal- Thanks for posting. Relateability is always nice.

Thanks AgentofGaming for clearing that up a bit. That really helps me understand it from another perspective. I guess when you get someone who's just having fun with it that's one thing, and it would be made obvious with cutting jokes, etc. But when there's a true underlying hostility to the argument... that's something else. I guess what I'm trying to say is that neither party is interested in the positives that you mentioned above (perspective, learning & entertainment). And your 2nd post made me chuckle a bit b/c that's what my sis tells her kids to do.

The Rose- That's basically my logic, too. It's a waste, especially when as you said we are equally entrenched. (I have to admit though, sometimes I do underestimate a person's willingness to hear an opposing viewpoint.)

ssfanatic- I agree, calm discussion is ideal. I like to think as we get older, and learn (and chill out) a bit more, we're better at this.

Aoiluna- Thanks for posting. It seems like this is a pretty normal trait for INTJs. I say stuff, too, and get misinterpreted/misunderstood even when my motives are good ones. I've actually even gently/calmly addressed a situation in hopes of resolving it peacefully... only for this to be perceived as being "aggressive" as well :confused:. (And I mean I really watched my tone, words, and body language on this- and have been told I can be very gentle when need be.)
I agree that arguing is very draining. Energy that could be used better elsewhere in much more productive ways.

[AgentofGaming]

Well about misunderstanding/misinterpreting good motives.

When you question the core of a person, you seem to attack their existence.
They will get VERY defensive. For if you could undo their core beliefs/foundations, you'd undo everything they've based their life upon. People will almost never give up the work they've built their lives upon for even for something better.
So technically for those kinds of people, anything will be percieved as "agressive" they feel you're out there to destroy them good willed or not. So they may ignore you or worse hate you for it.

On the otherhand
People who are calm, analyzing, able to accept criticism and able to pickup perspective, are easier to deal with. Those who can see the benefits from the other perspectives see their life will be improved, and that what they build our lives has to/must be changed. They see life as something that can always be improved and aren't afraid to startover with something better. (sort of like programming, very big ugly long code is better rewritten [yes all that work] than to look for a single line that was wrong or worse... wrong logic)

For me real life is all about things being not ideal and so its always changing. Being a perfectionist can be a lost cause most of the times. There are things that are flawed: they should be confronted not avoided and whatever the outcome at least they can be made into humour. :thumbsup:
That's what they mean from learn from your mistakes.

Added some time later
Speak about misintepretation, I should bring this to context to avoid possible misinterpreatations
1) argument: making a claim.
2) argument: verbal conflict.
So the 1st and 3rd posts are 1) and the 2nd post 2)

[INTJ]

Debates are kewl, arguments are rough for us INTJs. We're pretty much sure of what we know and don't know. Expressing this knowledge logically, without coming off as arrogant, rude, etc., to others is challenging to say the least.

Arguing is unproductive. Understanding anything during emotional yelling displays or heated verbal outbursts is an impossibility. It’s kind of like the mother scolding her child verbally while shaking her finger in his face. He fails to hear what she is saying because he's wondering if her finger his going to hit the tip of his nose.

[Michifan]

I'm new here, but I love arguing.

Maybe I have too many unresolved anger issues, but there is nothing more fun to me than mixing it up with someone intellectually. My problem sometimes is that I bring it the same way with a dim person as I would with a particularly smart person. I also tend to hammer home a point.

[muguly]

Arguing is pointless. I say what I have to then I shut the hell up. I'm not going to get into a yelling match with anyone.

[Caramel]

Debates are usefull only if you can convince the other person (or if the other person can convince you), if both discussion partners have new arguments to bring up (not the same old everyone has already heard) and if both discussion partners understand the debate is about the point of discussion, not about the person.

So yes, argueing is stupid by definition because none of the above is taken into consideration.

[coffeeloverfreak]

I'd like to buy an argument (Monty Python skit).

Anyway there's a big difference between arguing and debating. I love both. Debating is a rational mental and intellectual exercise, where hopefully nobody takes it personal and you both learn something from the process. Debating is healthy, and it's one of my favourite activities.

Arguing is probably unhealthy, but I think it too can be useful. It all comes down to how people deal with their emotions. I have a bad temper, admittedly, and when I get really stressed out or upset or angry, I usually just let it all out. But then, it's out, and I feel better, and it's over. I'm not saying that this is good to do at work or anything, but with people you're close to - especially other people who are the same way - it helps resolve things quickly. you just have the argument, get it all out there, and then it's gone and forgotten. None of these long silent-treatment grudges that I hate so much.

It's probably a little like physical fighting in that sense. sometimes it's better to just let it out than to have to stew in it.

[Mr Galt]

As long as you don't get into personal attacks and shouting matches, I find that arguing can be very fun. It can be intellectually stimulating and a good way to learn. Also, if you win, it's great for your ego, which is always a good thing ;)

[quest ion]

I love watching debates. And I love debating as well.

But when I look at the other side of this, I am aware that there'll never be a conclusion for topic, and the whole thing becomes redundant and stupid.

It's a dilemma, really.

[catd]

Debate - yes. Screaming, arguing - no.

It's beyond stupid. It never accomplishes anything except maybe expressing some anger, which would probably not even exist if they had calmly spoken to someone beforehand.

[EsoteriEccentri]

Basically everything everyone else has said. Debate, yes. Pointless argument, no.

Although, it is not always pointless. I know my mum needs to "explode" when she's angry, and then she's fine after. It helps some people to have arguments, clears the air. If she doesn't do her exploding she keeps it all inside and is stressed and depressed for a long time after.

I think with two people arguing it can still help them to say what they want to say even if they don't succeed in changing the other's opinion - it can help in other ways.

I heard somewhere that if teenagers can have a huge row with their parents and still be loved, arguments actually HELP towards a stable home as they feel secure that they'll always be loved, no matter what they do. O.o

So I guess "pointless arguing" can help from a psychological aspect. Some people just need to have a little shout every now and again. I know I'm not one of them, but I do respect that that's some people's way of coping.

[sriv]

Arguing only helps when information is being revealed to both sides. When it is repeatedly restated in different ways, then it becomes pointless. It may also show which side has a stronger base or foundation serving beneficial for democratic situations.

[punkyplatypus]

I believe arguing can seem "stupid" at times, but that's relative to how one perceives the argument. Personally, I love to argue. Not the the yelling, personal attack arguments, but the real in depth thinking arguments; semicivilized debating. I'll argue with anyone about anything. I argue with myself. I argue points I don't necessarily agree with. My reasons for arguing:
~to learn more about the topic in general
~to learn how and why the other person thinks the way they do
~to learn how and why I think the way I do
~to practice my debating skills for more important arguments
~to defend a thought/belief I have & may feel passionate about
~to show the other person possiblities they might have not considered
~to pass the time
~to entertain myself
~to practice bluffing & making up convincing untruths
~to practice manipulation & try to make the other person contradict their self
~to see the other person's face when I reveal I don't really believe what I've been arguing
~to test the limits of the other person; their patience, devotion to the subject, their approach
~to practice calming techniques when someone gets too passionate

Some of these reason may seem "stupid" to outsiders, but labels won't stop me from continuing to argue. It's what I do and I think it's part of who I am.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

If by arguing you mean shouting and getting personal and such, then I agree......stupid. However, debate, for me, can open my mind to new ways of seeing things and different perspectives that never even occured to me. I live for this sort of understanding and clarification. It is better to be in a debate with someone who doesn't have their mind so solidly made up that they won't even consider your input, but, none-the-less, everyone has something to teach and contribute.

[Double Victory]

Anyway there's a big difference between arguing and debating. I love both. Debating is a rational mental and intellectual exercise, where hopefully nobody takes it personal and you both learn something from the process. Debating is healthy, and it's one of my favourite activities.

Arguing is probably unhealthy, but I think it too can be useful. It all comes down to how people deal with their emotions. I have a bad temper, admittedly, and when I get really stressed out or upset or angry, I usually just let it all out. But then, it's out, and I feel better, and it's over. I'm not saying that this is good to do at work or anything, but with people you're close to - especially other people who are the same way - it helps resolve things quickly. you just have the argument, get it all out there, and then it's gone and forgotten. None of these long silent-treatment grudges that I hate so much.

It's probably a little like physical fighting in that sense. sometimes it's better to just let it out than to have to stew in it.

I actually agree with this. Yelling/losing your head in a debate is a big no-no. You can't expect someone to change their mind because you start yelling--all it does is rile up both sides even more. The best debates are ones where you go in with an opinion but a completely open mind, debating against someone who is the same way, and neither person gets offended or upset at any point. I've had a couple of debates like that. One was, surprisingly enough, about Christianity vs evolution. Both of us were really open, and I think we both learned a lot about the other's point of view.

However, I myself have a pretty bad temper. I do think it's a big stress reliever to snap and yell at people, but only if they're very close friends who aren't afraid to yell back. These kinds of arguments would be more about stupid emotional things that don't make sense. They're perfect for just releasing your emotions, draining your anger, and then once it's over both sides feel guilty and apologize, and usually we find ourselves a little bit closer after that. Like coffeeloverfreak said, holding resentments inside of you is a horrible way to go about having relationships with people. And since I hate being serious and emotional at the same time, I'd rather be loud and angry and emotional.

[Nameless]

I actually like arguing, or at least when I know I am the one winning in an argument. I don't like debating though. That seems too hard.

[theunstrungharp]

Arguing is really annoying to me and I generally refuse to get involved in it. Note my type though -- we generally don't dig conflict. Some more than others, but some, like me, think it's pretty pointless and can hardly stomach any of it.

I like being on the sidelines and listening to an interesting discussion, though. I think keeping things at a discussion-level rather than a more heated argument-level is generally more appealing and productive anyway.

[EsoteriEccentri]

Arguing is really annoying to me and I generally refuse to get involved in it. Note my type though -- we generally don't dig conflict. Some more than others, but some, like me, think it's pretty pointless and can hardly stomach any of it.

I like being on the sidelines and listening to an interesting discussion, though. I think keeping things at a discussion-level rather than a more heated argument-level is generally more appealing and productive anyway.
My mum is your type. She likes to get it out of her system, yes she dislikes conflict - but she likes everything to be said, and thinks that a good argument is better than people not talking or keeping their emotions inside, ect.

[mkay]

I'm too lazy to debate. I would do it only if I thought there was a reasonable chance of changing someone's mind, and I'm rarely ever interested in changing someone's mind. It would also seem pointless to me to debate someone about something he/she is emotional about.

I don't enjoy arguing. Also seems pointless. There's generally a better way to accomplish what I want. But I also don't hesitate to yell in rare instances when I want to scare the crap out of someone to get something done.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

I actually agree with this. Yelling/losing your head in a debate is a big no-no. You can't expect someone to change their mind because you start yelling--all it does is rile up both sides even more. The best debates are ones where you go in with an opinion but a completely open mind, debating against someone who is the same way, and neither person gets offended or upset at any point. I've had a couple of debates like that. One was, surprisingly enough, about Christianity vs evolution. Both of us were really open, and I think we both learned a lot about the other's point of view.

However, I myself have a pretty bad temper. I do think it's a big stress reliever to snap and yell at people, but only if they're very close friends who aren't afraid to yell back. These kinds of arguments would be more about stupid emotional things that don't make sense. They're perfect for just releasing your emotions, draining your anger, and then once it's over both sides feel guilty and apologize, and usually we find ourselves a little bit closer after that. Like coffeeloverfreak said, holding resentments inside of you is a horrible way to go about having relationships with people. And since I hate being serious and emotional at the same time, I'd rather be loud and angry and emotional.
If only it were that easy.

[ArchonAlarion]

Unless, you're like me and my ENTJ friend, who argue constantly, about everything.

However, because we want to be right as much as possible (we're both very high NT's), we'll accept defeat when we realize we're wrong. That way we'll be right next time.

Then when I discuss ideas with others, I'll already know the answers and I'll come across as small-minded, even though I'm more open-minded than most.

[Genuine]

When I want to come to an understanding on a subject, come to some sort of conclusion, reach a common ground, I feel like arguing. I don't find it necessary, but it's sometimes useful to me to learn about other people's viewpoints. It's more of a way to educate myself. I respect other's viewpoints, and it doesn't have to be one fiery debate or anything.

Quest for knowledge, that's what my goal is.

[Tsuru]

Somtimes I just really think arguing is stupid. I understand that when a person has a deep conviction about something it's hard not to speak boldly about it. It just doesn't make sense to me though to yell & argue, especially when it's about an issue/core belief that will not change as a result of the argument. It mostly just seems unproductive. Does anyone else think this way? I guess I can see if the discussion just gets heated & there's an end in sight... making a heated discussion genuine as well as a means to an end. But when there's clearly not going to be something productive/good that comes out of it... what's the point? (I realize I may have something to learn here... and perhaps that this is un-intj-like.)

I used to enjoy it, and in a way it was a good way to hone my own explanatory abilities, but I just don't care about changing peoples' minds or making my viewpoint known anymore. It seems futile when you know there is no real outcome from it.

[Elfrun]

Umm yes... arguing is stupid.


I have a fairly open mind and revel in a good debate, I never get angry and in my opinion I never argue however…

People around me have told me that I’m argumentative, this upsets me a bit, for me a debate is two or more people discussing a subject from different perspectives to gain a more balanced opinion. An argument is talking at someone who has a different view and dismissing what they’re saying – that I despise.

It seams most people around me are only willing to debate in short burst so I generally bite my tongue and refrain cause I know they don’t appreciate it, when I meet someone with intelligence, different views to me and a love of debate I’m in heaven.

[eMachine]

The only person that it's worth it for me to argue with is my ENTJ husband. After 4 years, we're beginning to really find our communication groove. We have always argued/debated often, but now it seems to stay on debate level mostly and sometimes I will take a devil's advocate position just to keep things interesting. ;)

With others in my life (offline and on) though, I don't enjoy conflict. Even among the INTJ community there is alot of debate that concerns personal perspective, I generally don't expect those sort of arguments to amount to anything. There can also be endless arguments which concern variations in language, because most words can have several definitions, add to that an individual's own sort of interpretation of the word(s) in question. When a discussion gets into that arena there can be no end in sight.

That's basically why I just debate with my husband, we've adapted to the words and terms that each likes/dislikes and we can understand one another.

[John Galt]

Throughout the past few years, two types of disagreeing have been obvious in my life.

Arguing: where the opposing position is assumed wrong out of principle.

Discussion: where all parties are trying to learn from each other and refine their own positions.

It should be obvious which I prefer. Arguing is pointless to me. Discussion is what I live for- it is much easier to refine my own ideas by working with others than simply contemplating them myself.

[Hdier]

Somtimes I just really think arguing is stupid. I understand that when a person has a deep conviction about something it's hard not to speak boldly about it. It just doesn't make sense to me though to yell & argue, especially when it's about an issue/core belief that will not change as a result of the argument. It mostly just seems unproductive. Does anyone else think this way? I guess I can see if the discussion just gets heated & there's an end in sight... making a heated discussion genuine as well as a means to an end. But when there's clearly not going to be something productive/good that comes out of it... what's the point? (I realize I may have something to learn here... and perhaps that this is un-intj-like.)

I agree that yelling/shouting is useless, even counter-productive, however debating something can be useful, even if you end up agreeing to disagree.

[jadefalcon]

Yeah I am sort of in the same department. It's a mix of the other party not understanding how to vent frustrations (in particular, they may not understand you as an introvert and how logic works) and it could also be that they are trying to force an opinion on someone, which, by logic, I would not consider without reasonable proof, research or support. Arguing constructivly is fine, and it is usually how problems can be solved in a business like setting. It is also a good time to bring problems to light.

Arguing with some people though- especially my opposite (father) is impossible.

[zoophilia]

When people scream and yell they are often trying to intimidate you. I think it can be effective. I would actually recommend that intjs practice this (maybe not to this extreme) because they often suppress their anger and turn it upon themselves in the form of self-criticism. If you just shout at the bully until he goes away then you get rid of a negative influence, feel more self-respect/pride, get them to respect you more, and remove the cognitive dissonance that just gets in your way.

[HackerX]

I love arguing. But then again, I'm an INTP, and it's what we do best.

I'll argue against my own personal beliefs just for shits and giggles if I feel like it at the time.

[Arcani]

Arguing is a pointless exercise that tends to result in wasted time and mental stamina more than anything else. Somehow this realization doesn't always prevent me from doing it.

Debates, on the other hand, I live for. The problem is there are so few people who can tell the difference between the two and most debates I get into degrade into arguments. At this point I usually try to just cut myself out of the argument. However much I despise losing (especially to someone who is blatantly wrong) it's not worth the strain of arguing.

[kusaninja]

arguing is pointless, because it will eventually degenerate into a contest of who can shout louder.
debates, on the other hand, are quite useful. they allow others to see your point of view, and vice versa. even though you may still disagree with them, you see there train of thought.

also, does anyone here like arguing with others just for fun? kinda like trolling, but irl.
like, they state theyre point and then you disagree with them completely. the way i do it is start out kind of rational and then at some point, just start being entirely irrational and eventually stop making sense?
this might be because im a 6 in enneagrams, but just wondering, does anyone else doe this?

[knitteratheart]

Really you guys? I like arguing. Not the whole screaming and petty name calling. But the one's where you're talking about something important. Even if you don't change their way of thinking, I like to find out how and why they think it. Humans are all different so even if you agree with them, you might not agree with them for the same reasons. And the best way to figure out those reasons is with a nice controlled argument. So often when arguing lightly with a friend I might take a side I don't even agree with just to see why they picked theirs

[Rhiannon]

With an important core belief, you catch more bees with honey, so to speak. With other things, arguing can be a lot of fun, as long as it's not taken seriously by either party.

[knitteratheart]

With an important core belief, you catch more bees with honey, so to speak. With other things, arguing can be a lot of fun, as long as it's not taken seriously by either party.

No, no, no. If it's not taken seriously, it's just pointless banter. Which is...well, pointless.

[Double Victory]

If only it were that easy.

It's that easy for me.... There aren't very many people I can yell at. Usually I just say a couple of nasty things to my brothers, they say a couple of nasty things back, we quiet down for five minutes, and then we're laughing and playing video games together again. It's usually pretty obvious that people aren't being very rational when they yell, so it's easy not to take them seriously. People tend to exaggerate their feelings and the importance of things when they argue like that. If both sides know that, then it's easy to just forget about it afterwards.

[sriv]

No, no, no. If it's not taken seriously, it's just pointless banter. Which is...well, pointless.

Not completely.

The P perspective:
-practice verbosity
-practice speaking skills
-connect more with other
-look at other perspectives, however lame
-have fun

[Arcani]

also, does anyone here like arguing with others just for fun? kinda like trolling, but irl.
like, they state theyre point and then you disagree with them completely. the way i do it is start out kind of rational and then at some point, just start being entirely irrational and eventually stop making sense?
this might be because im a 6 in enneagrams, but just wondering, does anyone else doe this?

Not me, I stay rational through the entire argument, which is a blessing and a curse. On one hand, they get mad because they can't shake me and they wind up arguing louder and become more unreasonable. On the other hand, from an outside perspective I usually win the argument once it reaches this point.

I generally don't start arguments for fun (I don't even start them when it would make things easier for me if I did). I find it a hassle that I don't need. I do disagree with people to start debates though (sometimes even when I agree with them). I just try to make sure it remains impersonal.

[niffer]

Suuureee, you INTJs...

"Arguing is so stupid!

I'm always right anyways, so what's the point of even trying??

Ok fine, I'll let you try and outwit me this time.

Why are you trying to argue with me?! Where's the peace kept in this place??

You know, just because you think you've won the argument, doesn't mean you're right!"

[bcoockien]

I never argue when others give me new ideas (I need to think first, if it's helpful for me, I keep it... otherwise, "this guy is stupid") or I can conclude they have totally different standpoint...

I argue very harsh when others think they are smarter than me..., or try to implement something on me

[Serket]

I love a good debate. But this requires that bith sides present a logical well though out argument. To borrow from pop psycology (Dr Phil) you must argue on topic, and not bring emotional or unrelated content into the arena.

Its also exhilerating to convert others to your opinion. Edifying to have others acquiesce to your intellectual superiority.

[Follow]

I like to argue, even if I know I'm not going to change someone's opinion. My goal is usually to do it in a public enough manner that everyone else understands why the kind of thinking I'm arguing against is ridiculous. I will usually try to toughen them up in their position too by seasoning the argument with a few well placed jabs just to annoy them and start sticking to their talking points out of stubborn pride.

Most of my human interaction comes from the internet, but the same is true no matter what the media chosen. You generally won't change someone's opinion, it's the sad truth that most beliefs are based in emotion rather than reason and therefore will never change without their emotional centers changing. I have no patience to change someone's emotional center, nor do I have the ability to, nor do I care to. The goal in an argument is always to make sure your opponent is soundly beaten so that no rational person can reason their way into such a position in the future. Why bother changing the opinion of a small minded emotional ingrate rather than change the opinion of 10s or 100s of people watching said ingrate get soundly thrashed for their silliness? Those observing the argument usually have their rational centers in tact.

Discussing a point is a different proposition. That sort of thing occurs when I'm ignorant on a subject and want to learn more, or I feel like the person's perspective is truly valuable. An argument is when I'm convinced they're wrong and I have reason on my side to prove why. In a discussion, opinions don't generally change because it's just a dialog based on fact. In an argument, opinions don't change because of the emotional charge behind them. Either way, don't ever bang your head into a wall trying to change the opinion of one person. If you're confident in your position, have the argument in front of an audience and aim to change their opinions. They aren't emotionally connected.

[Dreamer]

I like to argue in real life, but that's primarly because I find other people so freaking boring (aaargh,small talk!). The only way I can keep myself from getting bored in the presence of most people is to argue with them.

On the internet,I used to do it big time, but it's too time consuming.

[Kserafi]

Completely pointless and useless.

I speak from experience. The result is always the same. They will never change their views, regardless of accuracy. It's quite insulting and wastes much time. Mainly at your expense.

Why do they do this? Human nature. Selfishness, pride, insecurity, ego, and the list goes on. Once they become set in their ways, it's hopeless. They don't care to improve. For example, I told my friends to use the other gas station when filling up their car. It's across the street from the station they normally use, and significantly cheaper. Therefore, it's just as convenient and saves them money. Unfortunately, they didn't see it that way. Apparently it wasn't cheaper when obviously it was.

Now, when their doctor friend told them, then they told me I could save on gas by using the station he recommended.

Go figure.

[replicant]

Arguments are not bad but they can become pointless. A good argument can spawn an interesting conversation. People just need to pick their arguments better.:thinking:

[Rhiannon]

...it's too time consuming.

This is the one major drawback I see to arguing. That time could be used so much better.

Especially with someone that won't let it go, or will just bring it up again later.

[Kserafi]

This is the one major drawback I see to arguing. That time could be used so much better.

Especially with someone that won't let it go, or will just bring it up again later.

Excellent point and another reason why they should be avoided.

[centerofthesun]

I think it's pointless to yell and get angry while arguing. But debates are fun.

[tyrantofthought]

It's why I am very glad that I am introverted because my views would bring on some arguments especially the people I'm usually around(IE teachers and students). I very rarely argue about anything anymore not because I am too shy or don't want to stand up for my opinion but because A) theres no way the other person will even look at my opinion B) they wouldn't understand, whether it be because of their understanding or my cryptic talking or C) Its not important enough to change their mind. Its a stupid topic or just something that wouldn't matter if there was a different POV.

[Agile]

Hahaha...most people do not know the difference between discussion and arguing, and there is some kind of cultural aversion to arguing, to the point where differences of opinion are not tolerated, civil or not. It annoys me to no end when people resort to misdirection tactics to 'avoid an argument.' In my opinion, it's this very behavior that causes arguments. Examples:

1) Changing the topic
2) Downplaying the issue
3) Making the whole thing into a huge joke (subcategory of #2)
4) Playing dumb
5) Dead silence
6) Playing psychic (assuming in infinite arrogance er-wisdom that the conversation will end badly, and choosing from #1 to #5 to attempt to end it prematurely)

People who literally go crazy over a difference of opinion are the stuff of legend...those of us out there (me) exist who are capable of having an intellgent discussion of a difference in opinion/belief/etc and are capable of 'drilling down' to find out the difference and resolve it.