INTJ romantic interest

[Samantha]

A question for INTJs - what are some sure signs an INTJ male is interested in you? I like an INTJ, but I am confused by his behavior. I feel the chemistry, but it seems like he never steps it up or rather makes a move. I don't know what do to ~ help!

[Provoker]

A question for INTJs - what are some sure signs an INTJ male is interested in you? I like an INTJ, but I am confused by his behavior. I feel the chemistry, but it seems like he never steps it up or rather makes a move. I don't know what do to ~ help!

I think it's rather difficult to detect for sure, and it also depends on you. If I find a girl 'sexy' I will respond differently then if I find a girl 'beautiful', 'gorgeous', 'kind', 'intelligent' (or some combination of these). When I was younger, if I saw a girl I liked at a nightclub I may give her a carnivorously-sexy look to let her know how I felt. But with a women of higher culture I am less aggressive in my approach.

There was this one girl at university, and there was strong attraction on both sides. I would look and acknowledge her in the halls but not take the initiative. Finally, after a year and a bit she confronted me and asked me a question. If I were to be paired with a girl who I liked in an assignment this would be a way in. Thus, I either come into contact with someone naturally and exploit the opportunity or I never talk to them and have no regrets. I have too much pride to go and introduce myself out of context - I require an angle. Plus, the only girl that would be worthy of me would be one with the confidence and capability of breaking my defense shield. If she's to meek to do that, chances are she's not for me.

[ENFP is curious]

i recently had a very similar situation. what sort of behavior is consfusing to you?

[Queen Rat]

If he's into it, he'll very likely tell you. It's possible he'll talk around it, but INTJs aren't incredibly subtle. Plus as annoying as it is, you kind of have to give him time. They're honest and serious, but slow to get there.
If you'd rather be the one to make the move, just openly talk to him about your ideas.

[BlackHawk]

Expect him to be more talkative/enthusiastic (relatively, of course) around you. If he mentions anything about feelings, that is a definite tip-off for you. He might veil statements of his attraction to just "test the waters" and judge any interest you might have for him.

[qwerty]

Dear Looking For Hope,

I can't speak for all intj males, but looking at my own habits:
* Taking an abnormal interest in your likes (more so than I take in other peoples interests - for those that have seen me 'quiz' people in IRC, imagine a much more focused conversation), e.g. if a person is into a book or a particular subject I'll go out and research the subject myself, so I have something to talk about.
* Trying to be around you as much as possible.
* Looking deeply into your eyes
* Telling you his thoughts and ideas, even the ones he can't prove completely.
* Saying the most stupidly corny things in the world, because he's unfiltered around you. :P
* Sometimes he'll tense up; to test this brush against him when he's concentrating on something else and see his reactions.
* Proximity gauging is also handy. If he stands 3 feet away from people when he talks but has a different position for you, then he's thinking about you (i.e. he's focusing on how he presents himself to you).
* More often than not, he judging every cause an effect too. So if you give him a hint that he's not welcome in the initial stages, he'll take it on board and back out again. What I mean is, show consistency as this will help him make his mind up quicker.

[jjelovich]

Dear Looking For Hope,

I can't speak for all intj males, but looking at my own habits:
* Taking an abnormal interest in your likes (more so than I take in other peoples interests - for those that have seen me 'quiz' people in IRC, imagine a much more focused conversation), e.g. if a person is into a book or a particular subject I'll go out and research the subject myself, so I have something to talk about.
* Trying to be around you as much as possible.
* Looking deeply into your eyes
* Telling you his thoughts and ideas, even the ones he can't prove completely.
* Saying the most stupidly corny things in the world, because he's unfiltered around you. :P
* Sometimes he'll tense up; to test this brush against him when he's concentrating on something else and see his reactions.
* Proximity gauging is also handy. If he stands 3 feet away from people when he talks but has a different position for you, then he's thinking about you (i.e. he's focusing on how he presents himself to you).
* More often than not, he judging every cause an effect too. So if you give him a hint that he's not welcome in the initial stages, he'll take it on board and back out again. What I mean is, show consistency as this will help him make his mind up quicker.

This is all very true of me as well.

If you notice that you are basicaly the only girl he talks to regularly and out of his own volition then I would say that is a very sure sign.
Also be honest and as open as you can be and don't bother w/ ritualistic nonsense such as the guy should always intiate. I think many an INTJ guy will take you much more serouisly, and therfore be more interested in you, if you are seroius. As the previous poster said show consistency, nothing puts off an INTJ like confusion, especialy in relational issues because they are hard enough for us as it is; at first anyway. If you think there is confusion don't be afraid to confront it and put it out in the open. We are very desicive and assertive people but if we are confused or given mixed signal we will become crippled, if you will, in knowing what to do.

I wish you best of luck and I hope it all works out well. Just the fact that you are taking the time to learn, about INTJism and him, and understand, I think, would be quite the turn on if he knew.

[Provoker]

* Proximity gauging is also handy. If he stands 3 feet away from people when he talks but has a different position for you, then he's thinking about you (i.e. he's focusing on how he presents himself to you)

LOL

It's true. I am so silly sometimes I will position myself so that she sees my side profile and inparticular my left side. THis is due to a history of girls (when they used to tell me I'm cute or whatever) they'd always say it when they were to my left. I noticed this from a young age. It also has a lot to do with the symmetry of my face, my left brow is less curved and my left eye is slightly more open then my right. Clearly, I am more attractive from that angle and so if I like a women I will position myself strategically. I also pose sometimes. If I see in my periphery that she is staring I will make a subtle model pose. I'll pout my lips a little, raise my eyebrows, etc. Also, if I am around people but notice the certain somebody is staring from a distance I will try to smile more. Most of the girls that have been very attracted to me did so only after they saw me smile as I have an extremely serious face otherwise. So I'd also put your radar on and spot patterns of behavior. An INTJ will use every resource he has to his advantage when pursuing a goal. If he likes you, there will be subtle changes in behavior I would think.

[James Revell]

A question for INTJs - what are some sure signs an INTJ male is interested in you? I like an INTJ, but I am confused by his behavior. I feel the chemistry, but it seems like he never steps it up or rather makes a move. I don't know what do to ~ help!

If you're comfortable making the first move, do so. An INTJ is likely to be direct when confronted. Our means of communicating an attraction can be fairly subtle and misunderstood (if even recognized). Some of us in long-term relationships still may have such issues, and if he's young you can probably assume he's been in few romantic relationships.

If you want an INTJ to communicate a lot, I recommend starting online in a non-realtime fashion. Either way, if there's interest we're more likely to open up once we've noticed investment by the other party.

[vaguely dissatisfied]

A question for INTJs - what are some sure signs an INTJ male is interested in you? I like an INTJ, but I am confused by his behavior. I feel the chemistry, but it seems like he never steps it up or rather makes a move. I don't know what do to ~ help!
Go ahead and make the first move. Why not? Then you'll know if he's interested and you don't have to guess anymore.

[quentin]

Make the first move. If he's an INTJ there's a 65% probability that he won't until he's absolutely sure. INTJs are deeply afraid of failure and that's one reason that romance confuses and frustrates us. Also, we are not into gender stereotypes and so aren't threatened by a girl making the first move. We are direct and not into playing games. So if you confront him directly the chances are he'll tell you exactly how he feels.

[PortInStorm]

However, I would caution you not to make this a huge deal and thus put the pressure on. If you can walk and talk, or work and talk, and underplay it, so much the better. Like "Hey Derek, what's going on with that [insert workplace project or school essay etc.]? When things have slowed down a bit, think we'd have fun hanging out sometime?" That was not a piece of art, granted :-), but don't just come on up to him while he's doing something important, plant your feet, and say "Do you, like, like me?" Not that you would..

[JTG]

There's a lot of good advice already above. I'm a very indirect (or so i'm told) person when it comes to expressing interest. The best i'll do is hint at it unless somebody asks me directly. I hate failure, and will gladly make it a mutual thing rather than a "me asking her out" kind of thing. I'm subtle about it, making sure to appear attentive and interested.

Only once recently i've come out and told a girl i liked her, but it was after heavy flirtation on both sides. I knew she was interested too, or i wouldn't have said anything i'm sure.

Best bet is to just ask him if he likes you. Try not to make it a pressure thing, as has been said already, but it sounds like you two are comfortable enough around each other that he'd talk about it honestly.

[quentin]

One tactic you can use, and that is pretty effective from my experience: tell one of his/her close friends that you are interested in their friend. It works because you let her know that you're interested in her, but are a little bit too shy to say it to her directly, but you let it be known through her friend, and well....most girls find that really cute and charming. Just in my experience.

The big drawback is that if her best friend is really nice, too, and the #1 girl you've been interested in turns you down, then you've just blown your chances with her best friend, the #2 girl, as well. Again, I am speaking from personal experience. I was talking to this very attractive woman and made the mistake of telling her that I had a crush on her best friend. "She already has a boyfriend." Dumbo I was....the attractive woman that I was talking to was interested in me, but I had to screw things up by admitting to her that I liked her best friend better. Killing two birds with one stone, eh?

[PortInStorm]

And yet, I don't necessarily take the "he/she's got an SO" thing too seriously. Even if they're living together- if there's no ring, there's no problem in exploring a possible relationship. That's what dating's for. NOTE: I don't mean having sex on the side while they're involved with someone else. But hang out, see if you like each other. I was interested in someone through... 2 or 3 girlfriends (and a few on my end), and it became a significant relationship.

[JTG]

I agree and disagree with you there. While i'm open to the possibility of finding somebody even if i have (and/or she has) somebody, often it just doesn't work out as neatly as i would like. Specifically, i have a long history of becoming involved with somebody to some extent (usually not sexually) because she's talking about leaving her SO. It never happens.

In the last such situation, i spent two years as the "other guy" before finally coming to my senses and calling it quits. Most people don't have the fortitude needed to cut ties in an unfulfilling, or even bad relationship. Even though i'm often described as more attentive, more mature, more caring, better lover, etc... i never am the one the person goes with, unless i was their original SO. *sigh* The lack of logic in people's emotional processes.... :(

[PortInStorm]

Messy, yes. I guess I just think that most relationships don't work out long-term, and I can be there when they break up...? But then again, that was only one relationship, I was lucky that they did break up (through no influence of my own, mind you) and we didn't get married or anything...

[Samantha]

Thanks for all the advice. I guess perhaps I should give you a little more information so that perhaps you can help me. First off, we work at the same place, just not together or the same hours. We have known each other for over a year now, and see each other either coming or going from work. We (both do this) will stay longer at work to talk, sometimes over an hour, this is how we have got to know each other. We talk about everything from religion to sex. I know he had a girlfriend when we first met, but now he says that things aren't working out, and they are only "friends." I also have talked to him on the phone, (which was sort of work related), and at the end of the conversation he told me that "you know you can call me and talk to me anytime," but of course I don't. I also invited him to come over to a friend's party with me, but he had to work that night (this I know for sure), but he told me to call him and he would go out with us anytime. I just don't feel comfortable calling him like that. BTW - he has done several favors for me too (like things he has done for me he don't charge me, but for others he will charge them). He is wonderful, yet mysterious. I am really attracted to him.

What should I do? I am not really that great at flirting with someone that I would like a relationship with. I can flirt all day long with someone that don't count.

[Lucid]

You know what I think will work to let your INTJ know that you're interested? A big neon sign that reads: "I AM ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN YOU, [NAME HERE]!!!"

How to know if your INTJ shares your feelings? I dunno, but if you find out please come back and tell me. :)

[JTG]

Dude... he totally wants you. He hangs around work to talk to you. He gave you the okay to talk to him any time on the phone. He even said he'd go out.

Sounds like you're too shy to make a move, and he's either too reserved or shy to make one as well. I say playfully bring it up, like he's neglecting one of his responsibilities or something. Just drop it in casually whenever you see fit, something like "So, you still haven't taken me to dinner? Tisk tisk!" haha.

It'll work, i'm 87.5% sure.

[Antares]

Dude... he totally wants you. He hangs around work to talk to you. He gave you the okay to talk to him any time on the phone. He even said he'd go out.

Sounds like you're too shy to make a move, and he's either too reserved or shy to make one as well. I say playfully bring it up, like he's neglecting one of his responsibilities or something. Just drop it in casually whenever you see fit, something like "So, you still haven't taken me to dinner? Tisk tisk!" haha.

It'll work, i'm 87.5% sure.

lol. It may be interpreted that way most of the time, but not always. I'd say go for it anyway, but as an INTJ myself, I would constantly hang around my guy-friends and plan activities etc. I talk to them quite a lot for absolutely no reason, but I'm not interested in them. I don't really know about adults, but at least it's like that in High School. I'd tell you to go for it. There are very good signs that he might like you, and you have really nothing to lose by telling him your feelings.

[ElstonGunn]

I say playfully bring it up, like he's neglecting one of his responsibilities or something. Just drop it in casually whenever you see fit, something like "So, you still haven't taken me to dinner? Tisk tisk!" haha.

It'll work, i'm 87.5% sure.


I like that idea. If he is interested in you, it shows that you have the style of humor that INTJs typically enjoy. If he's not interested, it was just a jokey line anyways, so what's the loss?

[JTG]

Haha, i'm so terrible about that. Most of the time if i express interest, it's jokingly. I do it as a defense mechanism, kind of my way to test the waters without committing to a course of action that could end in embarrassment.

If the joke/flirtation doesn't get a bite, i assume she's uninterested. No worries, because i was just joking, right? If she jokes back, or makes some kind of acknowledgment that there's interest, then i see if things will progress further.

If you drop a line like the one i said above though, it should be clear enough to an INTJ that he'll see you're interested, without making it a big pressure thing. Going on how the situation was described, i'm sure he'll respond positively.

[Quite Robert]

He listens to you talk and values your opinion

[evoviiigsr]

"you know you can call me and talk to me anytime"

Bingo.

[jjelovich]

"you know you can call me and talk to me anytime"

Bingo.

It's true. Give him a call.

[kaxeeu]

I'm an INTJ guy and a lot of this is true. I never make the first move, because even if I'm dangerously sure that there's chemistry, I don't want to be the "fool" who thinks something's there when there's really nothing.

I'm naturally shy, but when I talk online to someone I like, I talk way too much and I'm always in such an elevated mood around that person. I'm also sharply impatient, but I have so much patience for people I like; I don't know where it comes from. I'm very direct and will usually tell the guy I like him, but sometimes it takes me a while to get there; I need to make sure there's at least reason to mention it.

If confronted about it (by anyone), I'm very direct and honest about it.

But I'm always awkward. So awkward, in fact, that I've learned to embrace it as a survival tactic, or else I'd be lost in an endless torrent of awkwardness and I'd get nowhere. It turns out that a lot of people are attracted to my awkwardness and how I embrace it, so I'm usually encouraged to be awkward around people I like. I'm weird like that. :-)

[jjelovich]

I'm an INTJ guy and a lot of this is true. I never make the first move, because even if I'm dangerously sure that there's chemistry, I don't want to be the "fool" who thinks something's there when there's really nothing.

What you said in your first paragraph sounds exactly like me. It' so hard to come to a conclusion when it is like this and its even worse not coming to a conclusion.

[Mountain Lion]

I would suggest making the first move, my baby confronted me after a month of intense flirting. Worked for her... :)

[kaxeeu]

I would suggest I make the first move, too, but I just can't. I like to have control over the situation, and making a move puts the ball on someone else's court and I'd rather it not be there...I know it's stupid and I know that I really should just go with it, but it's something I've always struggled with and still have not made significant progress.

[Rohsiph]

I would suggest I make the first move, too, but I just can't. I like to have control over the situation, [b]and making a move puts the ball on someone else's court and I'd rather it not be there[b]...I know it's stupid and I know that I really should just go with it, but it's something I've always struggled with and still have not made significant progress.

If they make the move, you'll have to throw the ball back eventually (if you want anything to happen)--which would place it on someone else's court necessarily.

[coffeeloverfreak]

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

Listen to the Great One. He knows his hockey. :)

[Samantha]

Thanks for all the advice!

A friend of mine told me that he asked her for my phone number, so I sent him an email. So, a few days later he calls me. We speak for two hours, and then he asked me out and he then said that he would call me later in the week. Well, it finally came down to Friday and I still hadn't heard from him, so I called him and left him a message - "since you didn't call, I made plans - call me." I don't know if I should have done that, but I felt that it was appropriate.

Anyhow, he calls me back that night, and apologized for not calling sooner. He said that something came up that he had to contend with. I told him it was ok, and we'll have to go out another time. Then, he called me again the following day, to tell me that he was still dealing with the problem and that he was sorry (he left that on my voice mail). Then he calls me back later that night, tells me what happened, and that we will have to plan this out for another time. So I tell him that's fine, and that we'll figure out a day when we are both free.

I feel like I've been blown off, but an INFJ friend of mine, said she thought he was sincere because he called a couple of times.

I still can't figure him out - does this sound like he is sincere? Would this be typical INTJ behavior? Am I reading too much into this? Perhaps I really like this guy too much and therefore am thinking about the situation too much. It's just that he doesn't behave like a normal guy - damn it, I'm use to being chased by guys, and that isn't what this feels like!

[apresmoimelle]

Dear Looking For Hope

ATo view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.'s so romantic! *sniffles*





apresmoimelle added to this post, 1 minutes and 31 seconds later...

I still can't figure him out - does this sound like he is sincere? Would this be typical INTJ behavior? Am I reading too much into this? Perhaps I really like this guy too much and therefore am thinking about the situation too much. It's just that he doesn't behave like a normal guy - damn it, I'm use to being chased by guys, and that isn't what this feels like!

Wow, this guy sounds like me. I always tell guys I'll call them back or talk to them later and I completely forget. I usually forget because something does come up.

[blueback]

I still can't figure him out - does this sound like he is sincere? Would this be typical INTJ behavior? Am I reading too much into this? Perhaps I really like this guy too much and therefore am thinking about the situation too much. It's just that he doesn't behave like a normal guy - damn it, I'm use to being chased by guys, and that isn't what this feels like!

Depends.

My first guess is that he is interested in you. I mean, he called. . .several times. As an INTJ I can tell you with confidence that if I don't care about you I will ignore you. There are plenty of people in my life that I like, but never take the time to contact. I just don't like them enough to care what they think about the fact that I never make plans with them.

Actually, most of my best friends understand that I won't take much time to contact them. I have two friends who are far away that I actually feel bad about not calling every couple months. Even then, sometimes I feel like I should talk to them but I just don't feel like it for a week or two. I don't understand it myself.

LOL, I love the last line! You should check out the "what is this PUA thing and why is is useful" thread (BTW, ignore the off topic stuff).

[Sesquipedalian]

I still can't figure him out - does this sound like he is sincere? Would this be typical INTJ behavior? Am I reading too much into this? Perhaps I really like this guy too much and therefore am thinking about the situation too much. It's just that he doesn't behave like a normal guy - damn it, I'm use to being chased by guys, and that isn't what this feels like!

I could tell from your previous post that he liked you. Three HUGE flags telling me that he did... because no INTJ in his right mind would waste time "chatting" without an agenda. ...No INTJ would offer to waste his time "chatting" in the future unless he hoped to move further... ...and INTJs (at least I...) don't tend to just offer favors to people unless I'm seeking to gain their favor. I get abused enough for my tech knowledge :P.

Like others have said, INTJs are pretty straightforward. If he says something came up it probably means just that... something came up. Most INTJs don't go around catering to the feelings of those they've decided are irrelevant. As cold as that sounds... they have better things to be doing.

And heck no he doesn't act like a normal guy! That's why INTJs rock so hard! We aren't normal, which can really hinder the relationship initially, but after the initial crap is over the relationship has the potential to extend so much deeper than an average relationship.

He wouldn't call you three times unless he cared. Don't fret m'dear ^_^. INTJs are slow movers. We plan and plan and plan and plan. Everything must fall into place. We're perfectionistic to the point that it's painful sometimes. He must have his reasons.

[PortInStorm]

So far, it seems like you've played it right = Relaxing and not panicking. If we hate dependence so badly, he'll be seriously turned off if you do. Always keep in mind that if you're used to being chased by guys, there's more in the lineup after this INTJ if he keeps blowing you off etc. Maybe it'd even be in your best interest to date someone else casually while you're waiting for him to get it together- keep your mindset free and unattached to him.

[AnandaMeansBliss]

If you want to draw him out of his shell I think touching when flirting is a good bet. As an INTJ, I respect people's personal space and rarely touch people in conversation. I never do something like "Oh, thats so funny! You are hilarious!" ::touches hilarious person:: This is an extroverted thing. For me, and I assume for most introverts, touching is something that is reserved for certain circumstances. It always throws me off when one of my co-workers touches me, especially ones my age because I think they are flaunting a romantic interest. I remember I was in a bar once and I was speaking with this woman. Only when she started touching me did I know what was up and let my gaurd down. I think this goes with the whole consistent/direct thing. Remember: consistent and direct does not necessarily mean obvious.

[Samantha]

I could tell from your previous post that he liked you. Three HUGE flags telling me that he did... because no INTJ in his right mind would waste time "chatting" without an agenda. ...No INTJ would offer to waste his time "chatting" in the future unless he hoped to move further... ...and INTJs (at least I...) don't tend to just offer favors to people unless I'm seeking to gain their favor. I get abused enough for my tech knowledge :P.

Like others have said, INTJs are pretty straightforward. If he says something came up it probably means just that... something came up. Most INTJs don't go around catering to the feelings of those they've decided are irrelevant. As cold as that sounds... they have better things to be doing.

And heck no he doesn't act like a normal guy! That's why INTJs rock so hard! We aren't normal, which can really hinder the relationship initially, but after the initial crap is over the relationship has the potential to extend so much deeper than an average relationship.

He wouldn't call you three times unless he cared. Don't fret m'dear ^_^. INTJs are slow movers. We plan and plan and plan and plan. Everything must fall into place. We're perfectionistic to the point that it's painful sometimes. He must have his reasons.

thanks Sesquipedalian - I'll try to keep this in mind since he hasn't called me! Why would someone ask someone out, then break the date, then not call again (well at least not yet)?

Obviously you guys rock either that or I have rocks in my head for even trying to pursue an intj.

Damn it, I can't get this guy off my mind and I've never had this problem before.

[nickvdk]

Like others said this guy is into you otherwise he wont waste his time talking to you. Unless you are NOT talking about business, and about personal life, it is HIGHLY likely he is interested in you.

He might be reading a lot of men dating advice on the internet suggesting he should be 'unpredictable' by breaking dates and not call on time. INTJ males generally have a tough time courting women because our lack of social skills, 'weirdness', lack of charisma (vs a ENTJ) and our strong independence. This does not mean he is an a-hole, but he might be 'window dressing' himself to have higher value by trying to be busy.

As we INTJs are very strategic minded, so his actions could be purposely done to elevate your interest level. He might genuinely like you a lot and thus wants to maximize his chances in courting you. Same as a guy being well groomed even though he likes to wear nothing but boxes at home. You should not be insulted, as this is similar to a guy buying a girl some flowers.

If you like him you should present yourself for him to ask you out e.g. "Jeez my friends are too lazy to go out with me this weekend. I guess I will have to go drink alone........"

[Samantha]

Thanks to everyone for all the advice. He has been calling me more lately and having lengthy conversations, but I’ve figured out what the problem is – he hasn’t really severed the relationship with the girlfriend! So they are still together or together on and off. As of right now, I feel like I’ve been put in the counselor position, as I have been listening to all his problems w/ her (too dependent, don’t have her act together, etc.). I’ve been trying to be objective in the situation, but am still bias. I even told him that “I hope you two can work things out,” and he replied, “yeah, right!” and laughs.

So now I’m following the advice of a friend and backing off (because of the gf), but still be friends. Perhaps he is an unhealthy intj. He seems very stable though. Or maybe he’s a player! Does any of this sound like how an intj would behave?

[OddFactor]

Out of curiosity, how do you know he's an INTJ to begin with?

[Samantha]

After knowing him for a few months, I thought that he was - so I made him take the test. Tested positive.

[greenblob]

Everyone: she's an INTP! Keep that in mind!

[AliTree]

after reading this, it seems that girl INTJs and guy INTJs let other people know they like them the same extremely subtle ways. haha. probably too subtle...

[zibun]

he hasn’t really severed the relationship with the girlfriend! So they are still together or together on and off.

If he doesn't make you his number one priority, don't make him yours.

[Nanashi]

after reading this, it seems that girl INTJs and guy INTJs let other people know they like them the same extremely subtle ways. haha. probably too subtle...

Ugh..that 'stings' true. My flirting with an ESFP has, according to my friends, not been obvious, like I thought it was.

[Deliberator]

Haha, i'm so terrible about that. Most of the time if i express interest, it's jokingly. I do it as a defense mechanism, kind of my way to test the waters without committing to a course of action that could end in embarrassment.

Two or three guys were rejected by me for that very tactic; so annoying and indirect! AARRGGH!!!

However, in order to ask me out (I was dating someone else) my current husband had to get very drunk and argue with me online until 5 a.m. I was a tough nut to crack.

[cookielover]

He values your opinion and genuinely listens to what you have to say.
He does his best to not rip everything you have to say to shreds with a single sarcastic remark.