Lesbians

[iamnotspock]

I met a girl who claims she is straight but I suspect is a lesbian. She's like a tom-boy, she seems kind of too shy with guys given her age/cuteness level, and I saw pics of her and her ex "roommate" with the bandana thing on their head. The only women I know who do that are the ones in "comfortable shoes".

So I'm wondering how many lesbians in their 30s suddenly decide they want a man to settle down with and how that works out? I mean, I seem to meet a lot of straight women like that.

Anybody have any actual insight or experience to lend here, as opposed to my wild speculation?

FWIW, I know one guy whose wife was a lesbian before she met him, another guy whose girlfriend became a lesbian after him (totally understandable), and I once had a lesbian friend who wrote me a love poem (very awkward), so I know there are some switch hitters out there. I'm just wondering if it's a good road to go down or not. I don't want to get used.

[Jgib5328]

If she's a lesbian, she's a lesbian. Maybe if she is bi-sexual you might have a chance, but not if she is gay.

[Lights]

I met a girl who claims she is straight but I suspect is a lesbian. She's like a tom-boy, she seems kind of too shy with guys given her age/cuteness level, and I saw pics of her and her ex "roommate" with the bandana thing on their head. The only women I know who do that are the ones in "comfortable shoes".

So I'm wondering how many lesbians in their 30s suddenly decide they want a man to settle down with and how that works out? I mean, I seem to meet a lot of straight women like that.

Anybody have any actual insight or experience to lend here, as opposed to my wild speculation?

FWIW, I know one guy whose wife was a lesbian before she met him, another guy whose girlfriend became a lesbian after him (totally understandable), and I once had a lesbian friend who wrote me a love poem (very awkward), so I know there are some switch hitters out there. I'm just wondering if it's a good road to go down or not. I don't want to get used.

First off, don't judge people based on appearances. :stunned:

Second, sexual orientation isn't static. Many heterosexual women will declare themselves lesbians, simply because the are tired of dealing with the opposite sex. Most of them return to being heterosexual. And of course, some women are just bisexual.

[thod]

There are no lesbians, only women that havent met me yet.

Second, sexual orientation isn't static.

Mine is.

And of course, some women are just bisexual.

Second best for them but I need a days off. The show they perform may get my interest.

[thegnat]

I met a girl who claims she is straight but I suspect is a lesbian. She's like a tom-boy, she seems kind of too shy with guys given her age/cuteness level, and I saw pics of her and her ex "roommate" with the bandana thing on their head. The only women I know who do that are the ones in "comfortable shoes".

So I'm wondering how many lesbians in their 30s suddenly decide they want a man to settle down with and how that works out? I mean, I seem to meet a lot of straight women like that.

Anybody have any actual insight or experience to lend here, as opposed to my wild speculation?

FWIW, I know one guy whose wife was a lesbian before she met him, another guy whose girlfriend became a lesbian after him (totally understandable), and I once had a lesbian friend who wrote me a love poem (very awkward), so I know there are some switch hitters out there. I'm just wondering if it's a good road to go down or not. I don't want to get used.

Dude! Don't judge so quickly! She could just be shy and/or introverted. She may just not be girly. Her and her ex roommate could have been being silly. I know a lot of straight women who can be silly like that. And trust me....they are boy craaaaazy. And maybe that's part of the reason she's shy around guys. You should hear the conversation with my tennis team. "oh my god I can't go over there and be near that guy that I broke up with before, it'd be too awkward!" Or maybe "Oh, that guy's so cute!" but then they *really* don't go near them at least during the times I'm around the girls. Maybe they would flirt with him later, I don't know. I don't go out that much.

Personally, I would not even think she's lesbian at all from what you've told me about her. Give her a chance after all. First impressions and looks are the *worst* things to go by with judging character IMO. I look for subtleties rather than direct appearance. I think I'm a pretty good judge of character.

[yondyr]

I would suggest there are broadly speaking, two types of lesbians. Those born with their orientation towards their own gender, always known it, always will be it. There are those who, from perhaps some unpleasant experience, become man haters and turn to females for a different type of loving.
And then there are those who don't see gender when looking at their sexual world but accept affection from all of humanity.
Which is why lesbians have to deliberately organize getting pregnant.
The last group, the universally accepting, may have liaisons with males at some time, thereby acquiring children.
(lotsaluck, prometheus, not a chance :)) )

[JTG]

Some of the posts in this thread make me giggle. Thegnat's first paragraph is probably what i agree with the most so far, given the description in the OP.

I had a tomboy type offer to be my cuddle buddy a while back. She's very lean and dresses in baggy clothes unless she's dressed to "go out." She's got shorter hair than i had before i started shaving my head, and she's definitely not the typical girly-girl who's high maintenance and whines a lot. At the same time though, she's got a soft side and loves to have a man make her feel safe and loved. Also, from some of the talks we've had, i'm pretty sure she's a tigress in bed :) (she is bi, although i believe that has something to do with her past experiences. she does prefer men though, when looking for a relationship)

My advice is to get to know the girl, if you haven't already. If her personality is one that you enjoy, and if you feel she's comfortable enough to talk about such issues, bring up the sexuality question. If you don't know her and have an interest in dating her though, there'd really be no difference whether she was straight or not. Lesbians can be some of the coolest girls to hang out with, haha