The Tamed INTJ

[OneBadMother]

It seems that many INTJs fall into two catagories: single and decidedly not looking, and in steady long-term relationships/married. This sort of polarity kind of piques my curiosity. So, I've got a few questions for the latter among you.

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
2. How did you meet your significant other?
3. What MBTI type are they?
4. How long have you been together?
5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
6. What is the worst?
7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?

[Antares]

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
2. How did you meet your significant other?
3. What MBTI type are they?
4. How long have you been together?
5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
6. What is the worst?
7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?

1. I'm single, and not looking, hence first category. I had one relationship before, but I think I can be excused due to my age ;)
2. I met my last S.O. in school.
3. No idea. I'd say ESFJ.
4. Six months, a year, can't remember.
5. Nothing really.
6. Everything.
7. 1. I was better off alone.

[Merle]

I'm not in a relationship right now, but I wouldn't put myself in the first category- I'm single but certainly open to any suggestions :)

1. I have had 2 serious relationships, 1 halfway serious relationship and many other... dunno what you would call them... friendships with occasional sex?!...I'm 26, I figure this is a fairly normal number...
2. My last serious boyfriend I met in my first week at university, we got together on a night out, I was the fresh meat - eew...i didn't expect it to become serious but he was quite insistent...I regret it a little bit because I didn't let myself get to know anyone properly, let alone him, before jumping into a pretty intense relationship - I wish I'd been more forthright about taking it slower...
3.he was an ESFJ
4. we were together for 2 years - we split up about 8 months ago.
5. The best thing about the relationship was.. I don't know... little things like having someone to share some stupid thing you read in a book with...you know the kind of private amusements and stuff... does that sound odd?
6. The worst was serious miscommunication - he wanted to be together ALL the time, I wanted to be alone at least some of the time and he took that as a rejection of him...he drank too much as well which used to make me really pissed off...I don't know, I guess his idea of a perfect relationship was one where you spend every minute together but don't do anything interesting, I would rather see someone say three nights a week and spend the time doing things you both enjoy... trouble was he only enjoyed getting drunk...
7. 3/10

Wow, I sound like a total loser, my other relationships have been more fun, honest!

[Caramel]

ROFL :D I'd feel for you Camelopardalis, if I'd have any Fe.

Not to be an ass, but OneBadMother asked for people in the second category to respond, not the first. Or I can't read.

1. This is my only serious relationship. He's the first guy I've ever kissed and had sex with and so on.
(Holding hands and going 'steady' for 6 weeks doesn't count.)
2. The internet. We were both regulars on a forum. The other regulars and us decided to have meetings, became RL friends, and then we fell in love.
3. ENFP.
4. 6 years.
5. There is a deep and mutual understanding. We share morals, beliefs, interests and hobby's. Plus we help eachother out in area's we're not as developed in; he makes me socialize and laugh, I make him look inwards and help him gain knowledge. And the sex is good too.
6. We don't see each other enough. Once or twice every week maybe. This means we have to stay in contact via the internet or the phone, which causes misunderstandings.
7. An 8/10.

[Santana28]

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
- you'd have to define "current" and "prior" for me to be able to answer that - i've been known to have several concurrent and completely serious relationships. but if i have to be general i'd say 1 prior, the one i'm in, and two other concurrent relationships for a grand total of 4 altogether. i've never "dated" and all of my relationships have been quite serious.

2. How did you meet your significant other?
- the internet, of course! (actually, he's the odd one out - the others i have all met in person through the others...

3. What MBTI type are they?
- Not too sure. My 1st was (pure speculation) an INFP, my current tests as an INFP but probably closer to an ESFP, the love of my life is an ENTJ, and the other love is probably an ISTP.

4. How long have you been together?
- Met online 12 years ago... we've been together for the past 8 years in physical proximation and married for nearly 4 years. More than likely this will be out last year of marriage, as it should have never happened.. but thats another thread...

5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
- Currentyly... Monetary convenience. Free babysitting services. He also does laundry, cleans, and cooks quite well. Before we were married we talked about everything, and shared many interests.

6. What is the worst?
- After we were married he decided that he has no real interests, nothing to talk about, and is offended by my ideas. A pretty good manipulator, this one. Needy too.

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?
- Basing off of what this relationship experience has taught me about people, psychology, my own motivating factors, who i am as a person... i'd give it a 9. This has been an invaluable experience. And this is a failed marriage!!!

[AliciaS2R]

It seems that many INTJs fall into two catagories: single and decidedly not looking, and in steady long-term relationships/married. This sort of polarity kind of piques my curiosity. So, I've got a few questions for the latter among you.

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
Married once before for ~ 1 year

2. How did you meet your significant other?
At my parents house, he was working on my stepfather's stock car.

3. What MBTI type are they?
ISTP

4. How long have you been together?
Together 27 years in May, married 24 years in May

5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
Though we have had our ups and downs we both work at making the relationship better. He accepts me for who I am, of course I accept him too ;)

6. What is the worst?
We have had our ups and downs.

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?
8 There are always things we can make better, nothing is perfect.

[Wapiti]

I would say that I have not been tamed - I'm just house broken.


1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
Just 1

2. How did you meet your significant other?
We met at a church.

3. What MBTI type are they?
ISFJ

4. How long have you been together?
dated for 4 years, marries for 13.

5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
I know without a doubt that she is and always will be there for me. Simply knowing that someone wants me around and needs me.

6. What is the worst?
1.) My need for space interferes with her routine - she somehow just feels more secure when I'm around. When I'm gone for days, she falls apart. This leads to her not wanting me to leave and have my time. This is a constant struggle to keep in balance. I have let this get out of balance and I'm currently working to fix this but it is a constant, continual problem.

2.)Deep, thought provoking, stimulating conversation with the one I love. We are just on a different intellectual plane.

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?
This is a tough one. I would have to say 8/10.

[Tokey41]

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other? 3

2. How did you meet your significant other? Through a friends girlfriend... they thought we were a lot alike.

3. What MBTI type are they? I would say INFJ

4. How long have you been together? About a year and a half.

5. What is the best thing about the relationship? Well... they were right, we are a lot alike, she even likes basketball! Also I think being in the relationship brings out my F a little more (i'm a solid T).

6. What is the worst? It's long distance at the moment as we're both in university, but we're going to the same school next year. I don't think it bothers me as much as it would most people but it's still probably the worst part.

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship? 7.5... it could be better, theres still plenty I don't know about her and the physical aspect is lacking. But they are just temporary problems, i'll see how it turns out once those are resolved I guess.

[Coyote]

I filled this out before looking at other responses.

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?

One serious, a few dates.

2. How did you meet your significant other?

Lived in the same dormitory.

3. What MBTI type are they?

ESTJ (Birth order makes it work)

4. How long have you been together?

2 Years

5. What is the best thing about the relationship?

Individual Companionship

6. What is the worst?

Lost a little Individuality (less me time)

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?

9

[PortInStorm]

How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
Reciprocal, serious, and emotionally involved? 1

2. How did you meet your significant other? Set up by two girls at work (now I'm related by marriage to one of them).

3. What MBTI type are they? ESFJ

4. How long have you been together? About 8 years, married for 7

5. What is the best thing about the relationship? He's just really nice, he's good-looking, he doesn't criticize me, gives me lots of space and independence, having someone to come home to, it's lots of fun whenever we do activities together, he supports my ambitions wholeheartedly,he does consider my complaints and take them seriously (whether it 'sticks' is something different)

6. What is the worst? I don't think he really likes me, deep down (I think attraction is a different thing than liking/respect), he's more loyal to his family than he is to me, he seems to have lost momentum (lacking varied interests and interesting conversation), no intellectual connection, I don't feel important to him, I hate the "wife" role (cooking, cleaning, groceries, having babies)
7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship? 6/10

[Rick]

1. I don't have a significant other. Prior? One marriage. 1 girlfriend 10 years before
that. I really am a content loner.
2. Previous significant other...she was managing a deli which I stopped at on the way
to and from work occasionally.
3. Another INTJ (which I found out after several years of marriage).
4. We were together for 13 years.
5. We both liked to think.
6. Being INTJs, we both had plans based on individual preconceived ideas. They didn't
match on important key items for each of us. Friction ensued.
Then...noncommunication. Two intelligent people came together then grew apart
because of irrationally preconceived ideas coated with rationality then viewed as
true and legitimate.
7. Before the break-up? 9

[Aurelia]

It seems that many INTJs fall into two catagories: single and decidedly not looking, and in steady long-term relationships/married. This sort of polarity kind of piques my curiosity. So, I've got a few questions for the latter among you.

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
2. How did you meet your significant other?
3. What MBTI type are they?
4. How long have you been together?
5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
6. What is the worst?
7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?

1. I've had two serious relationships prior to meeting my husband.
2. We met as volunteers in the emergency room.
3. ISTJ (I know many of you are thinking ST? What?!?)
4. We dated for about 5 1/2 years before getting married. (We've been married for less than a year)
5. He's my best friend and understands me more than anyone.
6. Being together for so long, sometimes things are a bit routine. Got to find ways to spice things up a bit :)
7. 8/10 I can't imagine what my life would be like without him. Even if we didn't end up getting married, he'd still be one of my closest friends.

[Danisty]

I wouldn't call myself tame...lol.

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?Serious relationships? 2

2. How did you meet your significant other?Live action Vampire roleplaying in historic downtown.

3. What MBTI type are they?ENTJ

4. How long have you been together?Married 9 years, together 10.5 years

5. What is the best thing about the relationship?We never get bored. We're both extremely creative people.

6. What is the worst?Honestly? His psycho mother who we stopped speaking to a long time ago. She's very manipulative and always tries to screw things up. It would take a whole thread just to give you the full idea.

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?If he wasn't in Iraq right now, I'd say 10.

[rwyatt365]

"Tamed", but not broken! :thumbsup:

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
6 g/f's, 1 ex-wife

2. How did you meet your significant other?
In church (is this why I'm not religious any more? ;) )

3. What MBTI type are they?
ISFJ (arrrrgggh!), she changed after a prolonged illness.

4. How long have you been together?
12 years; 2 years of bliss ;D, 4 years of "challenge" :stunned:, 6 years of steady decline :yuck:

5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
Tax benefits? :undecided:

6. What is the worst?
The fact that both of us are burnt out trying to deal with and accommodate each other's traits that drive us both totally insane. When we're not arguing, we do our best to simply tolerate one another. This ain't what I signed up for.

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?
2 (and I'm being generous here)

[PortInStorm]

I wouldn't call myself tame...lol.

Serious relationships? 2

Live action Vampire roleplaying in historic downtown.

ENTJ

Married 9 years, together 10.5 years

We never get bored. We're both extremely creative people.

Honestly? His psycho mother who we stopped speaking to a long time ago. She's very manipulative and always tries to screw things up. It would take a whole thread just to give you the full idea.

If he wasn't in Iraq right now, I'd say 10.
How can this be? I don't doubt your rating, but is it possible to be that happy after 9 years? Was it always that good?

[MichaelH]

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
None. I met him at 18, and we've gone from there.

2. How did you meet your significant other?
We went to the same university. (Technically, we were both there looking for food the day before the cafeterias opened.)

3. What MBTI type are they?
ESFP.

4. How long have you been together?
16 years.

5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
Having someone to share absolutely everything with. Over time, he's made his way around every single wall. I still feel vulnerable because of this.

6. What is the worst?
No private time. He can't understand my need to have him not just out of the room, but out of the house and GONE for a while.

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?
8. It's a good relationship, and takes work just like all relationships.

[pavman]

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
Not in a relationship right now. Last one burned me pretty bad, she was some outgoing, self-centered moron, so I'm thinking ESFJ; # of relationships.. about 15, give or take.
2. How did you meet your significant other?
NA, see 1. Currently pursuing an INTP. The level of mixed signals really sucks.
3. What MBTI type are they?
Hmm, the one I really didn't like was an INFJ who couldn't handle criticism. But she was good in the sack :) I taught her many dirty things!
4. How long have you been together?
NA see 1.
5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
NA see 1.
6. What is the worst?
NA see 1.
7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?
NA see 1.

Now that I answered the questions, I will tell you what I thought was significant with each one. The outgoing ones made me want to be more introverted, the introverts made me want to be more outgoing, and the NTs I fall completely in love with. :o) In fact, according to To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. and experience, I think ENFJ is the most well matched personality to INTJ. Its amazing how well the ENFJs in my life can read me and respond to my inner thoughts. Haven't dated one, but I bet it would be really good.

[Danisty]

How can this be? I don't doubt your rating, but is it possible to be that happy after 9 years? Was it always that good?No, it's gotten better and better. Why would 9 years make my relationship worse? Also the question was to rate my satisfaction. Since I don't expect perfection, I'm satisfied. ;D

[lowbrass]

I can't play; I'm single AND have been looking, but I get rejected or flaked on

[Zilal]

That's an interesting observation on the dichotomy... I am single and I suppose, while open to possibilities, not actively looking.

But I'll answer for my last SO.

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?

Two.

2. How did you meet your significant other?

Got to know him through volunteering.

3. What MBTI type are they?

ISTP.

4. How long have you been together?

We were together almost a year.

5. What is the best thing about the relationship?

Having somebody I could count on being around, being able to talk with.

6. What is the worst?

The worst was his lack of physical affection.

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?

It was about a 5... I stayed so long because I hadn't been in a relationship for so long before that, and even after 9 months of dissatisfaction I was still enjoying many parts of it.

[PortInStorm]

No, it's gotten better and better. Why would 9 years make my relationship worse? Also the question was to rate my satisfaction. Since I don't expect perfection, I'm satisfied. ;D

Worse due to 7-year itch, taking for granted, familiarity breeding contempt, etc, etc. That's true about expectations and satisfaction.

[Kfbr]

Got out of a 2 year relationship not too long ago, so I can talk about it right before it ended


1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
3
2. How did you meet your significant other?
at a bar
3. What MBTI type are they?
ISFJ
4. How long have you been together?
2 years
5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
Always felt totally comfortable with each other
6. What is the worst?
Nag nag nag about the little things I forgot to do
7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship? 9, I miss her a lot but it was for the best to end it.

[Danisty]

Worse due to 7-year itch, taking for granted, familiarity breeding contempt, etc, etc. That's true about expectations and satisfaction.We're past the 7-year itch. It's not supposed to last forever...lol. I guess it's strange, but I'm not at all bored with my marriage.

[Santana28]

I can't play; I'm single AND have been looking, but I get rejected or flaked on

thats because you're a band nerd... just kidding ;) i used to play clarinet...haha.

[Queen Rat]

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
None really. I had 2 'relationships' that I wasn't aware were 'relationships', although the other person involved seemed to think so...
2. How did you meet your significant other?
Why, the internet of course. (A philosophy forum)
3. What MBTI type are they?
INTJ
4. How long have you been together?
6 months.
5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
The great understanding we have with each other and the awesome compatibility.
6. What is the worst?
The fact that it's long distance.
7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?
10 with the person and the actual connection.
2 for the situation.

[Allie]

1. How many relationships have you had prior to your current significant other?
None. Met him when I was 19.

2. How did you meet your significant other?
My sisters's group of friends

3. What MBTI type are they?
IxxJ (I think ISTJ the last time we typed him, but can't remember for sure)

4. How long have you been together?
18 yrs, married 12 yrs

5. What is the best thing about the relationship?
Love and respect. We understand each other. We are still very much physically attracted to each other, and try to bring out the best in the other. We try to keep the flame going...but, just shy about it sometimes.

One of the things I love the most is when we made eye contact while walking by each other and continue looking even after we passed each other, or at other times, just give each other a light touch by hands or other parts of the bodies.

6. What is the worst?
We understand each other too well. We are so similar that I sometimes think he's INTJ (he's INTJ lite for a male and I am INTJ extreme for a female?). Maybe he's borderline S/N. Since he understands me so well, it's hard trying to keep some of the mystery (A woman's got to have a bit of mystery and unpredictablity you know).

7. On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the best, how would you rate your overall satisfaction with the relationship?
9. We have a good foundation, so the rest of the work in the relationship is not too hard. Yeah, my mind's always churning on ways to tease/surprise him. He's too clever sometimes....