High "N"= Love at First Sight?

[Learning]

Is love at first sight possible with highly developed "N"?

[Hdier]

I say that that is simply another ploy created by Un-nameables and supported by Hollywood. I have a great conspiracy theory, though I made it in fun and you probably don't want to hear it. And even if you do, you won't.

Anywho, I think that it is a rather silly concept, though a small amount of intuition may lean you towards to the right person.

[ssfanatic]

Maybe a short term shallow love, which i consider to be not love at all but much of the world accepts as "love". I would compare it to early teen dating, "I luuuuuv you!". *giggle* "oh i love you too sugar". BLAHHH it makes me sick.

So no, i dont think love at first site is possible under any circumstance, maybe a slight attraction or "early teen love", but not true love.

[Antares]

lol. Not exactly love at first sight, but I had a sense of strong deja vu when meeting a boy for the first time when I was eight. It was as though I've known him before and he was exactly how I imagined one of the boys from my fantasies would be like. I knew his personality instantly also, and I was right. Nothing came of it except for a few years of childish bickering with him.

I had 'love at first sight' when I was in sixth grade, but thinking back, I've never really 'loved' him or anything. It was just infatuation. I don't believe in something so die-hard romantic as 'love at first sight'. Lust at first sight, maybe, but not love. To me, love is an emotional commitment that is unconditional. I don't think many people would unconditionally love someone before even talking to them. It may develop into love, but just not at that initial stage.

I'm 90 - 100% N, but I can use my S side when it comes in useful. In fact, I'm always in tune with my S when dealing with things. It keeps my head out of the cloud and forces me to become practical, and one has to have 'street smarts' as well.

[OneBadMother]

Hmmm, I don't really believe love at first sight exists. Infatuation/lust at first sight, probably. At any rate, what N might do is make you carried away with an ideal image of a person, and fall in love, regardless of whether the person in question really embodies that ideal.

[Colette]

Is love at first sight possible with highly developed "N"?

You mean before you've talked to someone? If that's what you mean then no, I don't think so. Lust maybe...love, no.

[RoqueBear]

My "N" always leads me to be cautious and slow. Making a jump from nothing to love just sounds silly. Love takes time, work and commitment..

"Lust" at first sight, I've encountered this and I recognized it for what it was. And yea, I've been guilty of letting it take the steering wheel.

[Colette]

"Lust" at first sight, I've encountered this and I recognized it for what it was. And yea, I've been guilty of letting it take the steering wheel.

Yeah I actually think that's a real risk for INTJs, because we tend to jump into things, without really thinking them through properly first (well, maybe I can only speak for myself here, but rashness has been a big problem/issue in my own life, and has resulted in some really bad decision-making).

[Uytuun]

Attraction/fascination at first sight: yes. Maybe an N-N thing?

[RoqueBear]

Yeah I actually think that's a real risk for INTJs, because we tend to jump into things, without really thinking them through properly first (well, maybe I can only speak for myself here, but rashness has been a big problem/issue in my own life, and has resulted in some really bad decision-making).

I sense there is a story some where in there... Humans are naturally social creatures, despite whatever personality type you have. A desire to fill certain needs can sometimes drive any man or woman to do things out out of character. Maybe you could say its a lack of our understanding and foresight of our own "F"eelings that could prevent this.

[elsdfr]

It makes me wonder about women's intuition and the so called sixth sense. What if a male is rating on MBTI as 85% N? Is this what gets us out of step with most people?

I've also sat next to some people, not knowing them at all, male and female, and felt a connection of sorts. I sometimes wonder if its a form of lust or exactly what you say, higher N. Happens very rarely though.

[fripping]

i would attribute it to high F. NFs are called "idealists" for a reason.

[Volition]

Fascination at first sight. No more. Without knowing the person, observing their opinions and the way they come to them, there's no substance to form any foundation for something like love.

[Paul V]

There is no such thing as love at first sight. That notion comes from poorly perceptive SFs who can't tell the difference between lust, infatuation and love.

Love requires a deep knowledge of the person, something diametrically opposed to the notion of "at first sight".

[Uytuun]

I've also sat next to some people, not knowing them at all, male and female, and felt a connection of sorts. I sometimes wonder if its a form of lust or exactly what you say, higher N. Happens very rarely though.

I think it's the N-N thing...I have it too. In fact, my own reaction to people is the best indicator as to whether they are N or S. High Ns flock together from my own experience.

There's a difference between that sort of connection and attraction, though, in my opinion.

[Danisty]

I don't know about love at first site. With my husband, there was definitely something at first site which may very well have been lust, but that didn't stop it from developing into love at a rapid pace.

[quentin]

I will admit something very embarrassing right now. I was - and have been - obsessed with a woman that I know next to nothing about, other than a 10-minute conversation that we had several months ago. I have no clue why - except that she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen (to my taste - and remember, my taste is not necessarily what is standard appreciation of female beauty; lots of other guys have very different tastes in women). I'm quite torn about this. On the one hand, to say that I am physically attracted towards this woman is an understatement. But on the other hand, I don't know a thing about her. I can't ask her out because whenever I see her I fall apart. It is idiotic because it is all based on is nothing more than a mere physical attraction. I don't know what to do about it. So I do....absolutely nothing. That's the logical thing to do, isn't it? In a totally "logical" but entirely illogical way - I'm so immediately attracted to this woman, and she's giving me sparks that she's attracted to me as well, that I have to stop and think this over 100x before I make even the slightest move, and by that time I decide to do anything, she's already got a new boyfriend.

Us NT's think too much. We should be like everybody else and act upon pure animal instinct. Other people, they see somebody hot, and they are like, "Omigod, he/she is sooo hot! I'm going to jump him/her right now!" and they JUST DO IT. I should train myself to be more promiscuous like everybody else. I'm way too selective. If I see a woman and between us there is an immediate spark, I should act upon that spark. I shouldn't step back and intellectually analyze my attraction. That's insane.

[OneBadMother]

Ah, but there's a compromise to make. If you act too much on the spark, it might land you in deep misery in the long-term. I think that's the dilemma most of us face, where we look so much at the long-term ramifications that it overrides any risk-taking impulse.

Of course, on the flip side, many people are indeed miserable because they took that risk. But others are reasonably content and yet others happy. It almost sounds more like luck of the draw than anything.

[brainysmurf]

Is love at first sight possible with highly developed "N"?

For a lot of years I though love at first sight was a myth. Then it happened to ME! :lovestruck: !!! But my "N" is not as strong as with other INTJs. Anyway, it was a wonderful experience!

[curiousjane]

Still don't believe in "love" at first sight. Agree with Antares that "lust" at first sight is certainly possible.

But I must say, if you take the sight factor out, add some conversation, and a few key understandings ... N + N just ZINGS. It's like this weird deja vu/"you, too?!!!"/feeling of heady giddiness/understanding/feeling of being HOME.

Still not love ... but certainly an irrepressible resonance and irresistible magnetism. Enough to start a friendship or romance on, for sure.

[maxpot46]

Love at first sight? Not literally at first sight, but perhaps figuratively. For example, there is a girl at my new job (2 months) that, when I first laid eyes on her, I thought "big-time doable... sweet, workin' with a hottie is always easy on the eyes". So there is lust at first sight, an experience I've had many times before. However, as soon as I started talking to her, I thought "holy crap, this woman is a weirdo in a lot of the same ways I am" (turns out she's INTP) and my lust immediately turned to infatuation (which has continued to grow the more we talk and hang out).

So I didn't fall in "love" with her at first sight, but at our first conversation shortly after first sight. That doesn't really count but pretty close, I think.

[Josephine1012]

I think some of that may be hindsight. Memory is a tricky thing, once we feel infatuated with someone, it is often difficult to remember the time when we were not. I think at times people tend to translate that into love at first sight. I agree with the posters above where calling it "lust" at first sight is more appropriate.

[Hatsumomo1]

Is love at first sight possible with highly developed "N"?

There is no such thing as "love at first sight." You can't love someone until you know them. However, the N does help with picking the right kind of people and being able to read them right away.

[JohnDoe]

I have a very strong intuition and I'm going to hold judgment as "plausible"..
"So I didn't fall in "love" with her at first sight, but at our first conversation shortly after first sight. That doesn't really count but pretty close, I think." This is pretty easy to convince me of.

[Jgib5328]

If N = Naive.

[JohnDoe]

Just because you have a poor intuition you don't have to take it out on those of us who have a good one ;) Theres not very much evidence to suggest that getting to know someone for a month is much more effective then 5 min.


Added:
You don't actually know someone until you get in a big fight/disagreement with them. Thus 5 min vs a month is pretty irrelevant.

[Allie]

How to explain....

I never looked for nor wanted love, but it came...twice. The only thing I can say, even to this day, is that they were both love at first sight. If not love (without evidence), then it's "some sort of strong connection or feeling that felt like love" at first sight.

Long story short. I let go of the first love (rejected would be a better word) after a few letters (snail mail kind) and a few meetings. The main reason was that I was not ready nor did I want to believe it was love. I'd rather break it off before it got started... I am positive that this relationship would have lasted had I accepted it -- I would make it work come hell or high water!

This was one of the 2 times in my life where I hurt someone on purpose. I really did hurt him terribly. I will also admit that I was one of those SOB's who rejected someone without a valid reason. Although, I did let him know that I was undecided about the relationship (but not the feeling) from the beginning.

He tried to have me work this out with him, but I did not give him a chance at all. I basically took the choice away from him on what he could have done. Until this day, he has no clear idea why I did what I did. There was no closure for him. He still asked to speak with me more than 4 years later (when he saw my sister).

The second time was my husband. Again, same type of attraction. This time, I didn't want to end up rejecting him, so I just ignored him totally from the begining. He could read me very well because, he was quite persistent...So, here we are today.

[karenk]

I have a very strong intuition and I'm going to hold judgment as "plausible"..
"So I didn't fall in "love" with her at first sight, but at our first conversation shortly after first sight. That doesn't really count but pretty close, I think." This is pretty easy to convince me of.


I get a very strong intuitive feeling of possibility. This happens extremely rarely and could happen within the first conversation.

[IreOfDesire]

With one girl I had something like that, for the first couple of minutes i was telling myself repeatedly: wanna f... her, i wanna f... her
yet i call it crazy lust not love

NTs have hard time refering to the word "love", i believe this word is some NFs invention

[karenk]

With one girl I had something like that, for the first couple of minutes i was telling myself repeatedly: wanna f... her, i wanna f... her
yet i call it crazy lust not love

NTs have hard time refering to the word "love", i believe this word is some NFs invention


That is like a pavlovian response. How can you even compare that to intuitive insight?

[IreOfDesire]

That is like a pavlovian response. How can you even compare that to intuitive insight?

just saying that you can`t expect an NT to experience more than that from a first sight encounter

[AliTree]

i personally don't believe in "love at first sight".
bunch of bull to me.

[Sylar]

I will admit something very embarrassing right now. I was - and have been - obsessed with a woman that I know next to nothing about, other than a 10-minute conversation that we had several months ago. I have no clue why - except that she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen (to my taste - and remember, my taste is not necessarily what is standard appreciation of female beauty; lots of other guys have very different tastes in women). I'm quite torn about this. On the one hand, to say that I am physically attracted towards this woman is an understatement. But on the other hand, I don't know a thing about her. I can't ask her out because whenever I see her I fall apart. It is idiotic because it is all based on is nothing more than a mere physical attraction. I don't know what to do about it. So I do....absolutely nothing. That's the logical thing to do, isn't it? In a totally "logical" but entirely illogical way - I'm so immediately attracted to this woman, and she's giving me sparks that she's attracted to me as well, that I have to stop and think this over 100x before I make even the slightest move, and by that time I decide to do anything, she's already got a new boyfriend.

Us NT's think too much. We should be like everybody else and act upon pure animal instinct. Other people, they see somebody hot, and they are like, "Omigod, he/she is sooo hot! I'm going to jump him/her right now!" and they JUST DO IT. I should train myself to be more promiscuous like everybody else. I'm way too selective. If I see a woman and between us there is an immediate spark, I should act upon that spark. I shouldn't step back and intellectually analyze my attraction. That's insane.

You're my identical twin? :)

I can 101% relate to every word you just said. The part about "analyzing my attraction" struck me, as it's my main problem; I immediately use my bitter-sweet Intuition and know whether or not it'd work/how much I like/love her, etc. In the end it's an endless circle; I tell myself it wouldn't go anywhere, I lose her, further desensitized because I realize I just lost what I wanted most, etc.

:)

[greenblob]

I think I read somewhere that women determine within the first seven seconds of meeting someone whether he is a potential partner. Of course, I'm not sure about the reliability of the source, so I'm not going to take this as definite.
However, the idea seems to make sense. People have natural genetic fits for partners, and there probably is some unconscious process through which we determine whether someone is a good fit. To my knowledge, we can't consciously determine whether someone has the desirable genes relative to our own (of course, there are people who have all-around good genes and we can usually spot them via body shape, attractiveness, intelligence, health, etc. but here I'm talking about the individual factor).
N deals with making (often subconscious) connections, which might at first glace appear to be related to finding good mates at first glace. But N deals with ideas, not the physical world, and the label "iNtuition" is somewhat misleading. Sensors have a certain intuition for physical things--they tend to have a greater sense of balance, agility, dexterity, and aesthetics, which is a result of the brain making quick, unconscious observations, measurements, and calculations. In the case of finding a partner with a good genetic fit (AKA "love at first sight"), sensing might be more powerful.

Or all of this could be wishful thinking on my part, hoping that somewhere out there there is a "good genetic match" for me, someone who isn't very popular with the girls :P.

[Anreader]

I think I read somewhere that women determine within the first seven seconds of meeting someone whether he is a potential partner.

I think this could be partly true. I rarely scan a person for "mating" potential. Doesn't even enter my head. But when a man gives me an indication that he's thinking that, I know quick if I'm interested. Like maybe faster than 7 seconds. Its not love at first sight though. Its a complex interaction of dominance and other factors.

[Franklin71]

Yes, strong N does lead to love at first sight.

Fortunately, strong T knows better.

[secretagentm]

I get a very strong intuitive feeling of possibility. This happens extremely rarely and could happen within the first conversation.
Same here. Her wit was so refreshing! I knew I liked her, but then I saw her dancing in the pub without a care in the world and that sealed the deal. Such a quirky, unique, special individual. I really regret not letting her know how I felt. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHH I miss you.