I Study, Because Otherwise I Feel Bad

[Gabrielle]

Hey,

I haven't been around for a while, mainly because I just came back from the break and it was exam time. Now that the exams are over for me and I'm getting back into the cycle, here's what I realized:

I REALLY overload myself with crap.

A lot of the courses I'm taking are seen synonymous as self-inflicting torture. I have two jobs that literally leave me drained. I have created rigorous self-study schedule for subjects that most likely I'll never use.

I was always like this, juggling debate, math team, 4 AP's per year, Speech team, Science Team (Physics and Chem), biochem (senior year), Nuclear Phys (senior year), Student Council (president because nobody wanted the job), org chem (junior year), diff. eq (junior year), linear algebra (senior year)... basically it's an overload.

I get stressed out when I'm like this, but I also feel guilty when I have less-than-maximum-capacity workload.

Is anyone like this? Or am I just weird?

[Aoiluna]

I know exactly how you feel. I actually do better when I overload myself with work to do because the more I have to do, the more likely I am to do it. If I'm only taking the minimum for a full-time student I don't worry about getting my work done and I tend to do worse.

The best semester for me was my senior year in high school when I took 12 credits at a community college and 3 honors/AP classes at my high school. I earned a 4.1 GPA that year while also working 15-20 hours a week and teaching/training in martial arts 4 days a week.

So yeah, I, like you, really know how to torture myself. Im taking 17.5 credits this semester just because I feel like I didnt have enough last semester. Plus im president of a martial arts club that is in the process of picking up and requires a ton of time and energy that for me has begun to dwindle.

So yea im like this, and yes, maybe we are weird.

[pavman]

Ironically, you're missing the Office Space option...

I've tried to get laid off, but instead I've been looked at as a key leader in my organization and am now on the fast track.

Although, before the off-shoring craze of the last few years, I used to actually work my ass off and stuff. But screw it... you want to replace high-skilled American employees with really mediocre foreigners.... be my friggin guest....in 10 years, when your business is hitting the skids, I'll charge you 10x as much to fix it. Dam short-sighted, lazy upper managers....

:o)

...no, no, I'm not bitter...

[Tsuru]

I'm somewhat the opposite, I tend to fill my work/school schedule up too little relative to my capacities rather than too much.

For high school and such, I just wanted to GET OUT OF THERE ASAP OMGWTFBBQ!!1, so I just half assed everything and just did all my homework during class [or not at all] (and still got a 3.8 gpa, because I'm a super genius, bwa ah ah! XD). And since I was quite the solitary and misanthropic young man that valued his free time greatly, needless to say I didn't stick around for any extra curricular things. :P

As for college, life events forced me to flunk out/quit for 4 years, so the 2nd time around the whole grades/drudging through terrible classes for credits thing seems very pointless in a lot of ways. I don't really feel all that much pressure to be immaculate in it anymore, just so long as I learn what skills I want/need to and I pass the course.

[Caramel]

I wish I could pick two options. Whenever I don't care about something (routine work, boring, no challenge), I slack. Why would I stretch myself if I can do it in less time and with less stress involved? Thats not efficient at all. Great that I get a week for a deadline, but if I can do it in two days, then I will spend the other three days on other things.

Last week I did twice as much work as anyone else would do just by sticking to a normal schedule.. this week I took vacation.

If the situation demands it and if I get into a heavy work routine, where creativity and new insights are required to get the job done, then the perfectionism knocks around the corner. I wil easily overwork myself, put in extra hours everywhere at the expense of a good night sleep.. and enjoying it. Just like Hurricane and Aoiluna said, the more work you have to do, the more likely you stick with it. If I put my mind of it, I have a hard time getting back into it.

Like..right now. Slack -_-

[Jgib5328]

Your high school has differential equations?

[Circe]

I do this too.

I go to a school (not your normal high school) where 8 hours of homework a night is average, 10 is common, and 12 is certainly not unheard of. This does not include extracurriculars.

I find myself going without little things like food, sleep. . .sanity. . .you name it.

:)

[Jgib5328]

Your poll is flawed, there should be an option between "I do my job well. I have time for leisure as well" and "I'm a sheer-crazed perfectionist who demands the best and has ridiculous self-inflicted amount of work". I am between these options and until you fix your poll, I refuse to vote.

But yeah, INTJs can be obsessive workaholics. Hearing about all of your hard work makes me want to work even harder to beat you guys, I fucking hate this feeling, but I love it too.

[Zilal]

Exposed! I find myself in good company... I absolutely killed myself last semester. Well, that's a slight overstatement... but I did spend november, december and the break in and out of the hospital and I don't think the stress and overwork was innocent in that outcome.

For a while I was working full-time and going to school full-time, including one incredibly demanding class I was putting in 40 to 50 hours some weeks on (it was a group project class, and I was too anal to delegate much to my less-than-perfect group members). I have no idea how I got through the semester. Well, I didn't, I guess. Ending up in the hospital a second time was a real wake-up call.

But old habits die hard. I told myself I needed to change and I needed to focus on getting healthy this semester. So I signed up for two classes... and then started thinking, oh my god, look at how much free time I have. And then thinking how interesting everything looked. So I signed up for a bunch more classes. It was like pulling my own teeth to try to be sensible and get myself to drop them. Life in the Universe! Humans, Insects and Disease! I must know about these things!!! Oh my god! It was with great regret that I resigned myself to just 10 credits this semester... 6 more than I meant to sign up for when I decided to take it easy. (I am still working two part-time jobs and volunteering plus a new research project I'm not getting paid for, lawdy.)

Slowing down and taking it easy... learning how to relax... is a huge challenge for me. I used to think it was impossible, but $17,000 in medical bills tends to make the impossible seem not only possible, but necessary. And I know I need to slow down not because I "should," but because the pressure I put on myself was concretely lowering my quality of life. Never mind the stress, I was doing too much to be able to enjoy anything properly. I didn't even have time to really learn the subjects I was taking, I just kind of crammed stuff in. The good thing is that framing it as a challenge... "What, you really don't want to try to relax because it's 'too hard'? What a wimp! Can you really not handle having free time?" ...helps motivate me.

[ghmn]

If I have a lot of work to do and a short time to do it in, I get it done faster and better. If I have all day and not much to do, then I procrastinate like hell and usually end up doing next to nothing. Don't know why, always been that way.

[IFearAManOf1Book]

You should have included a category for those of us who procrastinate, yet still manage to be perfectionists. Trust me when I say that it is a vicious cycle...

[coffeeloverfreak]

You should have included a category for those of us who procrastinate, yet still manage to be perfectionists. Trust me when I say that it is a vicious cycle...

Yep. And it doesn't get any better in the working world either. I'm a horrible procrastinator, but failure is not an option for me. That, coupled with the ridiculously high-stress world of interactive advertising, is a recipe for disaster.