Competitiveness?

[Snuggles]

I am extremely competitive, but I doubt that truly is an INTJ specific trait...

What I think may be, however, is how much people like to see me lose/be wrong/fail... whatever.

To bring in a super nerdy comparison, my friends and I play the occasional Halo on the 360... and generally, instead of caring if someone wins, most people just want to make sure I lose. I'm not even that good of a player.

I hear this a lot in so many other things, essentially anything that requires even the minimal amount of competition... "I dont care if I win, I just care if you lose."

It's kind of a weird mix of feeling 'everyone is against me' and 'they fear my ability as a competitor.' Both uplifting and hurtful, haha.

[quentin]

I'm not competitive at all. I compete with myself, try to live up to my own internal standards, rather than with other people. That's one reason why I never found sports worth the bother. I don't get it. I already know that I'm great, so why should I compete in a pointless game to prove that I'm better than you?

[rwyatt365]

I term myself "closet competitive". To the naked eye I seem unassuming and non-combative. But place me in a situation where there is some kind of "measurement" involved and I strive mightily to be first. If confronted with that, I will say something to deflect any hint of competitiveness – but if you look into my eyes you'll see a glint of that "killer instinct" there.

Case(s) in point;
When playing Monopoly I invariably find myself trying to obliterate the other players, all while seeming meek and mild and acting surprised when (not if) I win.

While driving, I tend to be "in the front of the pack" (unless the police are lurking around, then I try to goad someone into being a "sacrificial lamb").

I hate it when I don't have the highest score on a test, but I don’t brag or boast when I do.

[Bossy Mom]

I am very competitive, especially with bake-offs. I tied with a co-worker with first prize at our pumpkin pie contest last Thanksgiving. I'm still mad about it!

[Jedi_sena]

I am not very competitive about accomplishments, but am about performances. I always want to be the hardest worker, have the brightest ideas, but I prefer to get the least recognition. I tend to know what I'm capable of and perform to the level I expect of myself. The competition only comes in because I know my personal best should be well above average, but I don't feel bad if someone does better that I do. I was never trying to get the best grade, I only meant to give the best answers that I could. I never worked hard for anything that would put me in the spotlight.

[Hdier]

I have to agree with rwyatt in my case. People tend to be very surprised when I have an emotional outburst because I did crapily in a game, when the whole time I seemed generally good-natured and amused.

[Snuggles]

Well, to some of these points, that goes without saying... of course we try the best we can. I rarely have been satisfied with the outcome of something I've done, or actually appreciated any of my accomplishments. I always think of how it could have been done better... how anyone could have done it... blah blah blah


However, on the topic of 'boasting'... doing this in the wrong situation makes can instantly turn you into a douchebag.

When in the class room, and you get the highest score on a test and you brag about it... you'll just come off as an ass and people probably won't think too highly of you.

However, let's say we're on the basketball court. If you can get in someones head, you give your entire team an advantage...

I suppose in posting this I can see why so many people are against when in a non-team situations. They know, I know I can play the mental game if I want. I only pull this out if provoked... and chances are that this shouldn't have been done.