Reinventing yourself

[Tasha81]

As a teenager, I had so much enthusiasm for what was to come in my life. I used to socialise a lot, sneak into nightclubs, get drunk and do all the normal things a teenanger does. I was also aware I needed a stable plan for life, so I made sure I made correct decisions, when it came to settling down.

At 19, I moved in with my boyfriend.
At 21, I started my first proper full-time job. I also bought my first property with my boyfriend.
At 22, Got engaged, I was also promoted at work to be the 2nd in charge at my Branch and was responsible for a number of staff and was also doing Home Loan Lending. I also travelled a far bit with my boyfriend and showed him my Home country (New Zealand).
At 24, Got married and had my Mother and her new husband live with us for 6 months. My career was also getting more interesting and I was helping train other people in Lending and was moving around the company helping out, which I really enjoyed.
At 25, Bought our first Investment property and had my Nephew live with us for 1 year.
At 26, was promoted to Bank Manager, went on a world tour and fell pregnant.
Now 27, had my son and now stay at home mum (at the moment).

I have also experienced a tough upbringing and endured tragedies along the way.

I feel like I got too serious/responsible about life and have achieved too much in a short time. I am not excited about my future, as I have seen and done so many things. My social life is non-existent, not that I want to be constantly socialising being an Introvert. I do not have any hobbies, although I wouldn't mind joining an art class. My life is so out of balance, that I want to move to the total opposite spectrum and lose my career focus. My problem is, I tend to get too ambitious and want to be at the top of ladder, quickly. I am worried that I will destroy most of what I have worked hard to achieve.

I am a bit lost. Has anyone felt they have done the same? If so, how have you made the transition and was it all that you expected?

[fatkattykat]

Wow, Tasha81, I must admit I am jealous of your accomplishments. I'm only a year younger than you, but I have not accomplished nearly as much. No husband and still in the same dead end job since college...:(. I guess I feel the opposite way...wondering WHEN I am going to accomplish anything. I am sorry you are feeling so burnt out...but I think that we have to reinvent ourselves many times in our lives. I would not worry too much about losing all you accomplished if you need to take a couple years off to spend with your son. Besides, this is a horrible time to be trying to climb the corporate ladder. I am sorry I cannot give better advice or understanding.

[Henry]

As a teenager, I had so much enthusiasm for what was to come in my life. I used to socialise a lot, sneak into nightclubs, get drunk and do all the normal things a teenanger does. I was also aware I needed a stable plan for life, so I made sure I made correct decisions, when it came to settling down.

At 19, I moved in with my boyfriend.
At 21, I started my first proper full-time job. I also bought my first property with my boyfriend.
At 22, Got engaged, I was also promoted at work to be the 2nd in charge at my Branch and was responsible for a number of staff and was also doing Home Loan Lending. I also travelled a far bit with my boyfriend and showed him my Home country (New Zealand).
At 24, Got married and had my Mother and her new husband live with us for 6 months. My career was also getting more interesting and I was helping train other people in Lending and was moving around the company helping out, which I really enjoyed.
At 25, Bought our first Investment property and had my Nephew live with us for 1 year.
At 26, was promoted to Bank Manager, went on a world tour and fell pregnant.
Now 27, had my son and now stay at home mum (at the moment).

I have also experienced a tough upbringing and endured tragedies along the way.

I feel like I got too serious/responsible about life and have achieved too much in a short time. I am not excited about my future, as I have seen and done so many things. My social life is non-existent, not that I want to be constantly socialising being an Introvert. I do not have any hobbies, although I wouldn't mind joining an art class. My life is so out of balance, that I want to move to the total opposite spectrum and lose my career focus. My problem is, I tend to get too ambitious and want to be at the top of ladder, quickly. I am worried that I will destroy most of what I have worked hard to achieve.

I am a bit lost. Has anyone felt they have done the same? If so, how have you made the transition and was it all that you expected?

Over the past 18 months I've:

1. Quit a career path that I hated. The job was making me depressed every damned day.
2. Got into an economics PhD program at a reputable school.
3. Gave up opportunity to enter said PhD program as girlfriend who I was about to propose to flipped because it was 8 hours away and gave me an ultimatum.
4. Caved into girlfriend's demands.
5. 6 month later, resented her for it, dumped her
6. Found a source of income related to the career path I left that I like much better but that is unfortunately much less stable.
7. Now I'm going back to graduate school in the fall and just working at said career when opportunities arise.

To be honest, if I had known how everything was going to go, I don't know if I would have done it.

If you do make changes, some people won't support them and you'll need to just ignore them no matter what.

[Azen]

I've been changing focus regularly, all my life. It's never what I expect, better and worse in many ways. Taking time to do different things didn't destroy my past accomplishments and allowed me to find a balance. After time I no longer had desire to do the things that I held so much regard for in the past, so I leaned to accept how life changes. Life is not career, life is not art classes, and life is not seeing the world, it is every moment we live, wherever and whatever we are doing.

I find that happiness makes me covet the future, while times of insecurity make it seem bleak. I find the future is only an echo of right now.

[coffeeloverfreak]

Tasha, that's completely normal at this stage in your life. Everyone goes through it to some extent, I think (regardless of personality type). Just google "quarter-life crisis" to see how much of a phenomenon it's become.

It doesn't sound to me like you need to "reinvent yourself" as you put it. Instead, it sounds like you just need to make a few changes to find that elusive balance you mentioned.

Maybe take a wild and zany vacation where you get to throw all your responsibilities away for a couple of weeks? Or take that art class you mentioned?

Growing up sucks, doesn't it? Growing up so fast sucks even more. But you should be proud of all that you have achieved.