The INTJ idea of a perfect woman?

[ENFPfemme]

Describe.

[JustMel]

That's not always dependent upon type. Some INTJ males still believe that women have a place and that's barefoot and pregnant.... and some want an equal partner.

I want to see how this thread turns out :popcorn:

[Vagrant]

I'll exclude body (as we know every man wants a woman who's 18 years old, perfect body, yada yada).

What I look for in a woman first and foremost is intelligence. I cannot respect a woman who has none. From there, I look to see if she's interested in me, and if we click.

That's about it.

[Jinxu]

Describe.

Wow, what a way to ask a question. and there's isn't even a please. I find that funny.

Before I answer your question, you should know that I have different viewpoints from most INTJs here due to different life experiences.

First, there's is no perfect women. Looking for perfection will only lead to disappointment. What should be looked for is the minimum requirements or what's good enough.

Having said that, there are three basic things I look for:

Looks is important, but different people have different taste. (if you are interested, we have a thread titled "post pictures of your ideal mate (look wise)")
Intelligence is important. If you're too dumb, we can find you annoying.
Emotional maturity is important. We got better things to do then to put up with drama.

Also, make personality number four on that list. I tend to like the nice and sweet girl type more.

[metaserve]

The qualities I look for in women in order are:
1 Intelligence
2 Interest in me
3 Looks
(Looks can be a very close 2rd sometimes)
At the same time, I would prefer she be the not-so-emotional type, but it definitely is not required. This is just general guidelines I make for myself. As for perfection *stops to think*, here's what the first time we meet would be like:
I walk up to the girl and exchange names. After looking each other up and down for a few seconds, I say "dinner at 7?" and then immediately we both nod in agreement.

If this happened, it would serve as an indicator to me that she was the perfect woman.

[mmm7789]

Thank you, gentlemen. I am very happy to hear brains do not scare every man.
side note to metaserve - not gonna happen. Intelligent women don't put themselves in the physical power of a man until they know he's not Ted Bundy. If I saw that happen, I'd assume she was a hooker.

[Cincinnatus]

I'll exclude body (as we know every man wants a woman who's 18 years old, perfect body, yada yada).

With all due respect, I disagree. Also, I would appreciate it if you spoke for yourself on that topic.

[Brittle]

<--- (heh heh)

[Rho1334]

For me:

1. Intelligence
2. Independence
3. Loyalty
4. Common Interest
5. Willing to tell me I am wrong instead of just agreeing with me.
6. Interest in me

The problem is that there are too many variables to just pick a couple but I tried my best.

[Vagrant]

With all due respect, I disagree. Also, I would appreciate it if you spoke for yourself on that topic.

You missed my sarcasm.

My point was that I wasn't gonna talk about body, because everybody has their own preferences.

<--- (heh heh)

Subtle.

[Cincinnatus]

You missed my sarcasm.

Hmm, I guess. Then again we can't always get the writing classes we need. ;)

[ATCGs]

I've always found that its more a situation of I-know-it-when-I-see-it, rather than a concrete set of criteria.

but of course, the women I consider attractive (and therefore, closest to perfection), are intelligent, articulate, beautiful, and practical.

[metaserve]

Intelligent women don't put themselves in the physical power of a man until they know he's not Ted Bundy. If I saw that happen, I'd assume she was a hooker.

In the physical power? It's dinner. I was using that as an example (..should have been more descriptive) of a situation where I would be totally on the same wavelength with the woman from page one; where we "click instantly."

[Polymath]

-Introverted
-Smart
-Secure with self; doesn't want or try to be anyone else, has nothing to prove to anyone.
-Laid back/relaxing kind of personality
-Healthy and physically normal

Apparently this is a lot to ask for, but whatever. :cheesy:

[Storm]

I hope you didn't start this thread in hopes of molding yourself to what you think INTJs want. We are all different and want different things.

[Mozzes]

Thank you, gentlemen. I am very happy to hear brains do not scare every man.
side note to metaserve - not gonna happen. Intelligent women don't put themselves in the physical power of a man until they know he's not Ted Bundy. If I saw that happen, I'd assume she was a hooker.

Prostitutes can't be intelligent?

For me creativity, imagination and inquisitiveness trump mere intelligence (though obviously there is some overlap). A bizarre sense of humor is a must. As is novelty-seeking and openness. I also like to travel and move around a lot so a gypsy soul is something I look for. Independent. Not passive but not combative or overly aggressive. Nature-loving. Kind, compassionate, empathic. She must be able to pursue her own passions.

[ENFPfemme]

I hope you didn't start this thread in hopes of molding yourself to what you think INTJs want. We are all different and want different things.

No this thread is to gauge what aspects of me a particular INTJ might like (because yes, he doesn't seem to compliment... at all, moreso says nice things but only with humourous overtones)

[uncon]

Thank you, gentlemen. I am very happy to hear brains do not scare every man.

I always tried to choose women that were smarter than me and my wife is the smartest (coupled with artistic talent) that I found so I had to marry her. HAHA! Intelligence was always at the top of my list and not coincidentally at the top of my wife's list also.

[llBradll]

To put it simply, I want a emotionally mature sweetheart with a good serving of brain who shares some of the same interests as me.

[boldbidder]

"A Genius, a slut, and a chef" - Nas

LOL


Seriously, a great big IQ, a passion for perfecting her chosen career/trade, very open-minded, and outgoing so she can deal with the populous in social situations so I won't have to.

[ATCGs]

No this thread is to gauge what aspects of me a particular INTJ might like (because yes, he doesn't seem to compliment... at all, moreso says nice things but only with humourous overtones)


If he's an INTJ, and can only compliment you while semi-joking, its probably because he isn't comfortable complimenting you more plainly. I had that problem for a while.

[llBradll]

If he's an INTJ, and can only compliment you while semi-joking, its probably because he isn't comfortable complimenting you more plainly. I had that problem for a while.

Funny thing was I was drinking last night and I complimented somebody, and I was stunned as if I did a magic trick.

[MrDoom]

One that talks to me. :lovestruck:

[rangardrum]

Intelligence/intellectual curiosity, empathy, comfortable in herself, and personality qualities that would complement and support areas in which I'm not as good at expressing. I'd also like it if she shared some of my interests, such as exercising (ideally running).

By type (just theorizing... this is HARDLY a "must"):
Mild E or Mild I (not extremes)
N
Mild F
Mild J or Mild P (not extremes)


One that talks to me. :lovestruck:

Realistically, this would be more what I'd like to see. :)

[curiousjane]

Funny thing was I was drinking last night and I complimented somebody, and I was stunned as if I did a magic trick.
Clearly, you should either keep drinking, or take your magic show on the road while sober and see what new and amazing things you discover along the way ...

/message from your local friendly INFP

[llBradll]

Clearly, you should either keep drinking, or take your magic show on the road while sober and see what new and amazing things you discover along the way ...

/message from your local friendly INFP

It takes time to get in touch with your feeling side. Us thinkers aren't all rainbows and sunshine all the time.

[Trenchant1]

My perfect woman would be one who does everything for me - cooking, cleaning, shopping, ironing, that kind of thing. Also, she must love me utterly. She must look at me and melt. I don't want her to feel like a housewife, though, so she should have a well-paid job as well, which she can do while I stay home and read or type rubbish on here. When she comes home, I'll make her a cup of tea and have a chat with her before she makes the dinner. She should be stunningly beautiful and almost as intelligent as I am. That's about it.

[dalidaisy]

Ah! Look! Honesty...

Good luck finding her. I think it may be nearly impossible, but there's always hope...

[Josephine1012]

Ah! Look! Honesty...

Good luck finding her. I think it may be nearly impossible, but there's always hope...

I don't know if she does exists, I call dibs (and I don't even like girls!)

[dalidaisy]

Yea, if you find her, you better hide her. You might have a fight on your hands...

[Josephine1012]

I kind of think INTJs have the same idea of a perfect woman as does any other type, it goes like this:

-Someone who matches in intelligence (dumb people wouldn't say that, but they sure 'don't want no smart girl' :p)
-Someone who understands and appreciates ideas (be it philosophy or what kind of beer you need in the fridge, to each their own)
-Someone very attractive
-Someone who is attentive to their needs
-Someone who can tie their own shoes
-Someone who has a similar sexual temperament

Now you can fill in the details for your specific guy. Done and done :)

[Imposcillator]

I kind of think INTJs have the same idea of a perfect woman as does any other type, it goes like this:

-Someone who matches in intelligence
-Someone who understands and appreciates abstract/complex ideas
-Someone who can tie their own shoes (assuming you're not just being literal)

Emphasis/comments mine. Removed those that didn't apply.

I'd have to add:

-Understands and appreciates me and what I stand for
-Encourages me to be my own man yet wants to be there with and for me
-Is willing to listen and discuss
-Has a passion for something
-Is honest and loyal

That's all I can think of right now.

Honestly, appearance is not even a factor in determining the perfect woman for me. I've already met the most physically/visually attractive woman on the earth (according to my personal tastes, of course). She's not famous, she actually liked me, but when I found out she was an idiot with no depth of character whatsoever my attraction was instantly obliterated.

No matter how attractive she is, she will never be as attractive or beautiful as the one that captivated me - heart and mind.

[Storm]

Imposcillator, I have a hard time believing physical attractiveness does not play into determining the perfect woman. Do you at least want her to be healthy? What is she's just really ugly?

[Imposcillator]

For me to have fallen in love with her it means she is not hideous or deformed in any way since I decided to maintain contact. As long as I'm even moderately or a little attracted the rest is what's important. I was stating that determining the perfect woman does not contain an ideal in appearance for me.

[Baccara]

Honestly, appearance is not even a factor in determining the perfect woman for me.

No matter how attractive she is, she will never be as attractive or beautiful as the one that captivated me - heart and mind.

If that's the truth, well and considerately said. Good to hear I'm not the only oddball who thinks this way (though about men, in my case). And congratulations on finding your perfect other.

[DanteFalling]

I don't know if she does exists, I call dibs (and I don't even like girls!)

I GET HER FIRST!

I haven't done laundry in weeks, and I can't find any socks. When was the last time I wore socks? . . .

[Macbeth]

With all due respect, I disagree. Also, I would appreciate it if you spoke for yourself on that topic.

He is very justified generalizing like that. It is s species typical human trait to prefer the women who are fertile, if that trait did not exist then we wouldn't be here. Young & healthy women make better babies than older women no matter how healthy they are.

The old & fugly are all yours buddy.

[DanteFalling]

He is very justified generalizing like that. It is s species typical human trait to prefer the women who are fertile, if that trait did not exist then we wouldn't be here. Young & healthy women make better babies than older women no matter how healthy they are.

The old & fugly are all yours buddy.

I can see that. In my perfect world, I would be freezing my eggs right now, and then choosing not only the sperm to go with them but also the uterus where I'd have them gestate.

It's expensive, but I'd feel like an uber parent then.

[goes off alone, feeling creepy. . .]

[Henry]

Describe.


I actually don't think that abstract academic intelligence is that important (although its nice because it helps keep the conversation fresh). I'm more interested in a woman that has very good social skills, who is warm, a woman who gives me plenty of space, has a reasonable amount of practical intelligence, and who is comfortable initiating most non-sexual romantic interactions. I'd prefer that she have a career or something she's really engaged in, and I'm not big on kids. Light alcohol is a plus, no alcohol a minus, heavy alcohol or anything other than pot is a deal-breaker.

Women who have revolving credit card debt get dumped immediately, although I would probably make an exception if said woman recently emerged from a health problem or from school. I've tried to work with both Mormons and Feminists (with a capital F), but it just doesn't; I can swallow mountains of bullshit at work, but when I come home I really don't want to hear about your self-rationalizing system of thought used to justify controlling other people. Also, bisexuality is often, at least in the bisexuals I've attracted, a sign of severe emotional instability, so its a big minus. A long sexual history is also a minus.

Also, not harping on another's weakness is, in my view, important in any relationship. I've had a few partners who just could not accept the fact that I was a human being with flaws (that I was working on), and thought that nagging would fix the problem. Note: it doesn't fix anything, makes the other person resent you, and in the case of obstinant pricks like myself, makes me do the opposite of what you want me to do.

[Chronos]

I've always found that its more a situation of I-know-it-when-I-see-it, rather than a concrete set of criteria.

Ditto. I've never really bothered to sit down and think about what I want in a woman - I may live in my own head a lot, but when it comes to people, I tend to take them as they come, rather than trying to fit them into some preconstructed idea of how people should be.

That said, there are indeed some traits I find that I tend to click with:

- Emotional stability. I like passionate people, and can be pretty passionate myself, but overly emotional people freak me out; I can't deal with them. There's nothing wrong with being passionate and intense, but once it goes overboard, I'm pretty much lost. I like people who are in control of their passions, but don't let their passions control them.

- Openness/Extraversion. I'm pretty aloof, and I need the people around me to draw me out of my shell. However, it matters how people do this; some people just piss me off when they try it. It's a bit hard to describe which approach works - but it probably has a lot to do with the emotional stability thing. Approach me in a friendly, open, yet slightly restrained manner, and I'm pretty much yours. I have a certain pace when it comes to closeness, and people who can artfully dance to that rhythm are the ones who are most likely to get inside my shell in a politic manner.

- Earthy sensuality. This is also somewhat hard to describe. Physically, it means a very natural, yet sexy look. Sexually, it means, again, having lots of passions, yet being in control of them. Approaching sex first and foremost as a physical, sensual thing, and being laid back about it. Most of all, I think this is a "Know-it-when-I-see-it" kind of thing. The elusive "spark" that fuels the flame of desire.

- Intelligence/Creativity. I like people who are full of ideas and who can engage my imagination and intellect. Not much more to say about that, really - and I'm sure many here would agree completely.

I'm sure I could add to this if I thought some more about it, but this is what came to mind immediately.

[Imposcillator]

If that's the truth, well and considerately said. Good to hear I'm not the only oddball who thinks this way (though about men, in my case). And congratulations on finding your perfect other.

It is, and thank you. I feel like the odd one out too but I'm used to that by now. You shouldn't change your views on the subject just because others don't share them.

[Thirdie]

I don't know if I'm asking for the impossible but here it goes.

I want a woman who (yeah, I believe that such a woman exists):

is independent
has fair morals
is intelligent (or at least can comprehend and talk the logical way)
is dynamic (always up for something)
kind of sparkles in a way (in genuineness, not the looks)
is mature (no gossip or whatever irresponsible way of thinking)
doesn't give much attention to material things
at my reverse, has always her feet on the ground
looks fair


All in all, it's quite a challenge.

[Shinqui]

Well, I can’t describe the INTJ version of the perfect woman, but I can describe this INTJ’s version.

- Very little emotional content
- Low need for physical contact
- Intelligent, but more importantly, rational
- Strong, capable and self reliant
- Open minded
- Introverted
- Accepting of who I am
- Sexually deviant, or at least interesting and open to experimentation
- Willing to indulge my preferences in clothing and appearance on occasion
- Tough, high pain tolerance, no whiney girls please
- Able to leave me alone often for recharging
- Gamers; board games, computer games, non team based sports
- Strong sense of adventure and the ability to embrace new things
- A face that I find pretty and some skill with make up
- A healthy weight, something along the lines of an appropriate BMI
- Non materialistic, leaning towards simple living
- Counter cultural

Well that’s a long list, and really I could keep going. I tend to be highly selective of partners as age and experience tends to solidify that which you do and do not want.

And yes, baby, you’re hitting all of these, and more.

[Cincinnatus]

Let's revisit the post.

I'll exclude body (as we know every man wants a woman who's 18 years old, perfect body, yada yada).

My point was that I wasn't gonna talk about body, because everybody has their own preferences.

In the end, he held my viewpoint, which I do believe he was being honest about. I may have given him a ribbing about it, but am sure he knows I was only doing such.

He is very justified generalizing like that. It is s species typical human trait to prefer the women who are fertile, if that trait did not exist then we wouldn't be here. Young & healthy women make better babies than older women no matter how healthy they are.

It is perfectly acceptable to ask someone speak for themselves, especially on such a subjective topic. He was speaking on beauty, and that does not mean fertility. While I agree the younger and healthier a women is, the better chance she has for a healthier baby, you're making a leap between health, fertility and beauty. Not to mention "older" women today are more able to have healthier children than they have in the past. You can plan your mating decisions on that, too.

The old & fugly are all yours buddy.

Sure! By the stark standards you have set up, they will be neither "old" nor "fugly." Send them my way, pal.

[NoStoneUnturned]

smart, independent, sexy and thinks a relationship should be based on mutual respect.

[Lucid]

I'm so glad to learn that many look for women who are intelligent and independent. That's good news for us INTJ girls!

I will mention that while it seems like a good idea to want to date someone outgoing and social so that they can pick up the slack in that department, it has not been enjoyable in my experience. My ENFP ex boyfriend was constantly leaving me alone at the party, the bar, the club... etc... to go talk to his friends or the bartender or the waiter, or the bum who'd wandered in off the street, or his own reflection in the mirror... you get the idea.

[jakeordie]

There's something I want to add, and I hope I can say it right. My ideal perfect woman would know how to bring out the best in me AND believe in her power to do it.....there's nothing I wouldn't do for such a woman.

[dalidaisy]

I will mention that while it seems like a good idea to want to date someone outgoing and social so that they can pick up the slack in that department, it has not been enjoyable in my experience. My ENFP ex boyfriend was constantly leaving me alone at the party, the bar, the club... etc... to go talk to his friends or the bartender or the waiter, or the bum who'd wandered in off the street, or his own reflection in the mirror... you get the idea.

This sounds like a lot of my experiences. I think that the E & F traits, for me, are a big turn off. It just wears me out. I do not have the capability to deal with the outgoing & emotional tornadoes that creep up with these guys.

I think some people confuse extroversion with energy. In my relationship with another INTJ, I have enough energy for the both of us. It just doesn't involve including other people. I don't like to be around people most of the time, but that doesn't stop me from having fun, especially with a partner. And, well, I just can't stand needy & don't want someone who needs needy. It confuses me that so many INTJs list EFs as their perfect mate.

[Indubitably]

Physically, emotionally, and intellectually attractive. Seriously, thats it. Sure there are some traits that pop up more often than not, I tend to like dark complected physically strong (as in fit, good health, etc) short women with big hips and sharp features, but then every now and again I will run into a girl that fits that description perfectly that does nothing for me, or a 5'8 chain smoking blond shaped like a boy that just rings all the right bells. Id love to find any one set of criteria that works every time, but I really never do know until I meet the girl.

Personality seems to vary nearly as much, and intelligence is damn near impossible to nail down anyway. She can't be a complete moron, or so ridiculously insecure/judgmental that she is an emotional invalid, but as long as I am capable of communicating with her on a meaningful level, and there is passion between us, I am usually willing to see where it leads.

Anyway, yeah, I'm not an INTJ, but I figure you guys might find the P contrast useful none the less.

[Cygnus]

Describe.

Can't, my views change with life experience, thus no static opinion of a "perfect" woman for me.

Edited.

I also cannot presume to know everything I want or some of the things I think I want..may not be actually work out as well as fantasized.

[Freedom Geek]

I'd like a girl that is fairly attractive, intelligent, rational, have shared interests, not at all want to have children and INT. The girl in all of fiction that I've seen that comes closest is probably Kimiko Ross from dresden codak.

[jhbowden79]

"The INTJ idea of a perfect woman?"

I love women who act spontaneously without a plan, who find joy in noticing random stuff, who do things in a fun, unstructured way. I like silliness, but not poop and pee humor. If someone has their own unique style, and likes to be creative in a helpful way, it becomes easy for me to actually give praise, because I feel like I'm not faking anything. I absolutely love it when women wear colorful accessories, though I despise tatoos.

I don't like women who are assertive and independent. (This is just a polite way of calling someone an entitled workaholic.) A little bit of empathy goes a long way with me.

[Sinequanon]

"The INTJ idea of a perfect woman?"

I love women who act spontaneously without a plan, who find joy in noticing random stuff, who do things in a fun, unstructured way. I like silliness, but not poop and pee humor. If someone has their own unique style, and likes to be creative in a helpful way, it becomes easy for me to actually give praise, because I feel like I'm not faking anything. I absolutely love it when women wear colorful accessories, though I despise tatoos.

I don't like women who are assertive and independent. (This is just a polite way of calling someone an entitled workaholic.) A little bit of empathy goes a long way with me.
I don't quite understand the second paragraph, but in my experience what you're describing sounds a lot like an INFP. You should be honest with yourself and ask yourself whether you really like those qualities, or if they're things you want to temper or change. Because an INFP (with every right) will be "assertive" and "independent" about her sense of identity. Why don't you want an assertive or independent woman? o.O

[jhbowden79]

"Why don't you want an assertive or independent woman?"

Boss Lady (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. NTI0MARrA1N1cnByaXNpbmcgUmVhc29uIE1lbiBEb24mIzM5O3 QgQ2FsbCBXb21lbiBCYWNrBHNlYwNmcF9wdWxzZQRzbGsDZGF0 aW5nLXJlYWxpdHktMS1zdXJwcmlzaW5nLXJlYXNvbi1tZW4tZG 9udC1jYWxsLXdvbWVuLWJhY2sEenoDYWJj)

What was the #1 reason that 1,000 men didn't pursue a woman whom they were initially interested in? I've labeled it "The Boss Lady." He thinks she's terrific -- smart and successful -- but he decides he'd rather hire her than date her. In such a situation, women typically guess that men are intimidated by their success or strong personality. But men said they get enough aggression at work all day, and when they come home they want to be with someone softer, more nurturing. They do want someone intelligent with an interesting career, but they prefer a warm demeanor.

The term "boss" here reflects men's attitudes that certain women seem either argumentative, competitive, controlling, not feminine, too independent, not nurturing, or some combination of the above. Of course, women don't use the same terminology to describe this behavior. Instead, women might rightfully identify themselves as persuasive, capable, street-smart, organized, modern, confident, or forthright.This is absolutely true.

[Sinequanon]

"Why don't you want an assertive or independent woman?"

Boss Lady (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. NTI0MARrA1N1cnByaXNpbmcgUmVhc29uIE1lbiBEb24mIzM5O3 QgQ2FsbCBXb21lbiBCYWNrBHNlYwNmcF9wdWxzZQRzbGsDZGF0 aW5nLXJlYWxpdHktMS1zdXJwcmlzaW5nLXJlYXNvbi1tZW4tZG 9udC1jYWxsLXdvbWVuLWJhY2sEenoDYWJj)
What was the #1 reason that 1,000 men didn't pursue a woman whom they were initially interested in? I've labeled it "The Boss Lady." He thinks she's terrific -- smart and successful -- but he decides he'd rather hire her than date her. In such a situation, women typically guess that men are intimidated by their success or strong personality. But men said they get enough aggression at work all day, and when they come home they want to be with someone softer, more nurturing. They do want someone intelligent with an interesting career, but they prefer a warm demeanor.

The term "boss" here reflects men's attitudes that certain women seem either argumentative, competitive, controlling, not feminine, too independent, not nurturing, or some combination of the above. Of course, women don't use the same terminology to describe this behavior. Instead, women might rightfully identify themselves as persuasive, capable, street-smart, organized, modern, confident, or forthright.This is absolutely true.
Clearly we are at a semantic schism, and I am not really trying to argue with you, but for the sake of a mutual exchange of ideas I would define the contentious words as follows (with respect to a potential mate):

Independent: Has a strong sense of self, enjoys and appreciates my need to be alone at times, has her own need to be alone at times, doesn't/won't let the relationship and the "us" ruin her sense of who she is as an individual.

Assertive: willing to speak her mind when she sees something is wrong (in general), willing and able to challenge me at the moment I cross a line, rather than acquiescing and resenting, able to handle herself when she's alone due to her nature to not be pushed around by random people.

I don't really see how those two attributes combine to create a "boss". I can see how, for instance, "overbearing" or "nagging" would fit. Maybe that's what you consider to be assertiveness. I guess I don't really want a doormat or a wet noodle in a partner. I couldn't really respect such a person.

[cmrain]

I want an absolute sex goddess with an incredible mind, a wicked twisted sense of reality, attitude, a body to die for, and insatiable desire (ideally for me).

You said perfect right?

[zibber]

Hah, oh lord.. My ideal PARTNER is basically my current one. Warm, loving, very intelligent (and diligent, getting sick ass grades on everything she does), down to Earth, compassionate, preferring the rural over the urban, art fan, lover of good food and lots of red wine, giving me space for the hobbies she can't join in (basically wrestling and weed) and as of late, giving me a lot more space (as in: not calling me every night we're not together). On top of that, a beautiful face and a body.. well. Let's not make this a dirty thread. Let's just say our sex life is off the hook and I could write a book about her hips. My only qualm is the shaving, but I'd be a fool to let that mean anything. (Besides, if being with me made her stop using make-up, who knows what I might yet achieve :laugh:)

[ranwayslo]

EL O EL. The perfect woman is out there somewhere looking for the perfect man. I will happily "settle" for one whose imperfections are not substantially greater than mine.

That being said I would like a woman with two: eyes, ears, hands, feet, legs, arms, breasts, ears, buttocks, and I am sure I am forgetting something. She should also have reasonably functioning sexual organs. The ability to think, speak, listen and engage in moderate physical activity. I would prefer intelligence, humor, kindness, and etc...But any of the above requirements can be easily overcome by a proportionate amount of alcohol or a superior example of any of the above traits at the cost of one or two of the others. As I said I am willing to settle for less than perfect.;):devilish::wiseguy:

[FelicificAgent]

That being said I would like a woman with two: eyes, ears, hands, feet, legs, arms, breasts, ears, buttocks, and I am sure I am forgetting something.
If not lost due to genetic traits, I would be willing to trade some of these for fairly minor improvements in other categories. Assume that the number of organs have been decreased from two to one and the impairment and visual appearance minimized, e.g. a glass eye, a prosthetic hand without movable fingers, and a leg replacement sufficient for a regular walking speed. I would probably make these trades at an improvement in intelligence corresponding to an increase in IQ points (ignoring the discussion of the inaccuracies of tests) of 4 (eye), 4 (ear), 7 (hand), 5 (foot), 10 (leg), 8 (arm). Breast and buttocks omitted - cannot these be accurately replaced save for functionality (breast feeding)? Significant impairment or visual deformities add some to the demands but still appear possible to overcome. I can personally think of several personality traits that I value more than these features under ordinary conditions. On the other hand, I do not consider any shared outdoor activities to be of importance.

I also think that some of these scores should be lower - e.g. an eye or an ear close to zero. The reasons they are not purely owing to my immaturity. In particular, if one got to know a person first, then the negative aspects would probably be taken as more natural and not be perceived as such negative traits.

[jhbowden79]

Sinequanon, I accept your definitions.

I'd rather be with someone surprising and interactive, very much over someone bureaucratic that has to schedule quality time. If a woman is ME ME ME my career my career my career then we're dealing with a boss lady. I prefer a woman with a sense of adventure (even if we're exploring local stuff) not a single-minded zombie obsessed with following dreams.

I don't like assertiveness as you defined it either; leave it at the workplace! Seriously, it isn't difficult to offer alternatives without being confrontational. That's not being a doormat, that's being respectful! And it works too-- I'm always willing to try new things and readily compromise, but if someone backs me into a corner, I'll hold my ground.

[Sinequanon]

Sinequanon, I accept your definitions.

I'd rather be with someone surprising and interactive, very much over someone bureaucratic that has to schedule quality time. If a woman is ME ME ME my career my career my career then we're dealing with a boss lady. I prefer a woman with a sense of adventure (even if we're exploring local stuff) not a single-minded zombie obsessed with following dreams.

I don't like assertiveness as you defined it either; leave it at the workplace! Seriously, it isn't difficult to offer alternatives without being confrontational. That's not being a doormat, that's being respectful! And it works too-- I'm always willing to try new things and readily compromise, but if someone backs me into a corner, I'll hold my ground.
If you tried to schedule quality time (consistently) with an INFP, you'd start to see "assertive come out. ;)

[Wittshell]

The perfect woman for me would be one with extremely feminine traits; pretty shy, emotional and ofc. good-looking (I prefer brunettes). She must've a respectable intellect and I must feel she's got something to contribute. I find myself especially attracted to INFPs.

Well, you can always dream.

[Antar]

I just want a woman who doesn't want to take half my pension, my home, my car, my cat etc

Other than that she only needs to look like Aria Giovanni (lol j/k)

[Zsych]

Hmm... The characteristics I value in people are:
1. Goodness/Principles
2. Intelligence/Knowledge
3. Drive/Ambition

I'd like a woman to have all three of the above qualities in decent proportion, and beyond that be decent looking, and preferably be a T rather than an F.

[BillyGoat123]

Wouldn't have to be an INTJ girl...but I think it'd probably be the best choice for me.

Physically attractive
Brutally Honest
Analytical/Intelligent
Sensual
Independent
Ambitious
Aligning Ideas/Beliefs (This is actually a major key, to me.)
Expert in some field of knowledge.
Introverted, but able to socialize well and help me come out of my shell a bit.

[liberterrieran]

#1. intelligent) I -NEED- an intellectual challenge

#2. sensible shoes, low maintenance) I have no use for a helpless companion

#3. BIG BOODY) gimme somethin' to grab on

[theDoc]

Oh oh! I know this one. Intelligence and a witty character is a prerequisite. I can deal with her looking like the average asian girl-next-door, I like them like that. None of that emotional-drama which comes along with some of those crazy females please.

[Jaden Arbiter]

As long as she has a beautiful face natural selection is going to want me to take her as my own so I'm not going to list off a list of parallels I would like to see from her and expect her to have them if I choose to accept her since a genetic advantage has already been pinned out. It would be nice if she was charismatic, intelligent, and ambitious like me but being an understanding person and willing to support my objectives genuinely is enough by a longshot.

[AceBrown]

I'll try to do this in a rational fashion even though you really can't rationalize "the perfect woman" for the average INTJ.

Physical
I'll say looks play about 35%. Like many have said before, we all have our different preferences and what not. I generally break down looks into three categories: must-haves, small bonuses, big negatives. Since this is suppose to my "perfect woman", I'll put down what mine would be.

Must-Have: Face I'm attracted to - I generally attracted to females through how good they look face-wise first. I like it to be natural (not huge globs of make-up!), warm smile, cute/sexy face. Main point is I need to be physically attracted to this woman.

Must-Have: Medium to Slim Body - I would think most guys want this. Generally a flat stomach, nothing hanging off....you get the idea.

Small Bonus: Alluring Eyes - Omg...alluring eyes is a great bonus and extremely sexy.
Small Bonus: Nice, Round Ass - I'm an ass man. I want it big enough for me to notice, but not huge enough to where it is ridiculous.
Small Bonus: Short Height - Now I'm only 5'8, I would prefer my women be around the same height or shorter than me.

Conclusion: My perfect woman would have a very cute face with a warm smile, sexy alluring eyes, medium to long hair, around 5'4 - 5'7, light brown skin tone, big round ass, medium to small breast, and slender body.

Personality

This takes up the other 65%. I think most of yall are being to general when you say "Intelligence." I think most guys/lesbians wouldn't want a dumb@$$ as their "perfect woman." When I think of a perfect woman, I want her to be my compliment. So she should be able to assist my strengths while helping with my flaws. Also, I want her to have some of the qualities I see in successful marriages at home.

Must-Haves: Someone I can express myself to - She should be someone who I can talk without any trouble. It's like how you keep some of your thoughts around some friends because you know they won't get what you're talking about. She should be able to connect on some level with some of my zany thoughts and hold a reasonable conversation.

Must-Haves: Nurturing/Motherly Demeanor - I want her to sorta be the typical housewife, even though I wouldn't mind her having a job. (I would actually prefer it) I'm not good with feelings and connecting with most people emotionally. She would sorta be that expert I need and can actually teach/show me. Basically, I want my perfect woman to be a caretaker.

Must-Haves: Rare Gem - Finally, I want her to be "hard-to-get". Not playing hard-to-get, but hard-to-get in the fact I have to really put in effort and establish a connection with this woman. Also, I pray she has very, VERY few sexual partners if any. It's sorta like a "chaste goddess" turn on for me. It also makes me getting her all the more rewarding. :-)

Conclusion: A woman who is nurturing, kind to others, easy to get along with, someone who I can talk to, someone who shares some of my interests, very hard to find girl, but is one of a kind, is a virgin (lol), and is faithful of course.

That's about all I can think of for now.

[laserdanger]

I had a huge discussion about this with my INTP friend. We came to the conclusion that the best we could hope for is a woman that is at least intelligent enough to keep up with us. We live in Orange County in sunny California. Keep in mind that i'm only 20. Unfortunately girls learned to hide their smarts out here. sigh. High School was hell for me, i had the mind of a 30 year old, lol.

but since is the perfect woman : )

as beautiful as Eva Longoria
Highly intelligent/ questioning
Violinist, and singer extraordinaire
self reliant
has low value on material things
One of them readers
Doesn't cry during bad sentimental movies

One can only dream

[curiousgeorge01]

Hmmm I would say pretty, intelligent (not necessarily IQ but can hold a good conversation), independent (doesn't need me all the time and has career goals), down to earth (no princess syndrome nor stuck upness), gentle (understanding), and supportive.

Other not so important caveats, likes action movies, video games and comics lol- shows me she's imaginative and can understand boy stuff!

[Vyrokashan]

My personal idea, with percentages.

1: Personality. I want someone who is not afraid to take the initiative from time to time.
2: A few 'not's'. Not fugly, not pale white skin, not short hair.
3: Smart beyond just books.
4: Understanding of Introverts, or is one.

1: 30%
2: 20%
3: 25%
4: 25%

So few woman have good appropriate personalities... Most that fit into 2 and 3 are completely abandoned because of 1. But, that is opinion.

[sherm]

My perfect woman would be one who does everything for me - cooking, cleaning, shopping, ironing, that kind of thing. Also, she must love me utterly. She must look at me and melt. I don't want her to feel like a housewife, though, so she should have a well-paid job as well, which she can do while I stay home and read or type rubbish on here. When she comes home, I'll make her a cup of tea and have a chat with her before she makes the dinner. She should be stunningly beautiful and almost as intelligent as I am. That's about it.

Quite the ideal, supposedly coming from the NiFi combo on our introverted side (check out this article someone originally threw up here at <a href=“/To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.>). I can definitely relate, but not only do we have to find women like this, they also have to have a reason to really fall for us in the first place. Oh, I know I'm great and all, but I can definitely be difficult as hell to deal with sometimes, not intentionally, just when trying to understand an argument as well as possible (generally, people don't like it when major holes are shown through their premises). My ideal would have to be all those things Trenchant listed, but also be someone who can hang with those times and just laugh at me when I'm being like that and simply turn around and leave if she feels hurt or upset.... only to come back later whenever she wasn't angry anymore, embracing me and just calling me an idiot for being so absorbed in whatever we were talking about that I didn't realize her emotional attachment, at the time. That kind of personal recognition, without any unnecessary lingering emotional worries or rifts to deal with would probably make me melt, lol.

[vMac]

I mainly look for submissiveness. I like to dominate and be in control.

[Guildwriter]

Deal Breakers:
- I am not physically attracted to the girl. In other words, if I don't want to have a day long session of sweaty monkey sex with her, it probably won't work out.

- I don't find her mind attractive. This is huge (that's what she said) and will kill any kind of physical attraction and desire for day long monkey sex I have with her.

What I like to see:

- Passion invested in one or multiple things. I really don't care what it is as long as she has something that she devotes herself too. Some kind of art/creative talent is very attractive.

- Shares some of my interests/passions. Getting excited about the same things that I do is always a plus.

Random things that would be cool:

- She knows how to bake a really good baguette.

- Plays on the same level as I do when it comes to online games.

[jndiii]

"The perfect is the enemy of the good."

I don't want a "perfect" woman. I'd end up with exactly what I specified, and realize way too late that what I thought was perfect isn't even close to perfect, and not even good.

That said, there are qualities I know that are very likely.


She is an extrovert.
She treats me like a man, not a buddy or girlfriend.
There is something about her, other than looks, that impresses me and makes me think and expands my world.
I like how she looks.

Notes on the above:
[1] It takes too much work to get to know the introverts, because I not only have to break past my inhibitions, I have to get through hers, too. I'm not saying an introvert is impossible for me, but my experience tells me it's unlikely.

[2] Another way to put this is that she respects me. Yet another way to put this is that she reacts to me like a woman reacting to man. This is not to say that we aren't also buddies/friends, but when I flirt with her, her femininity should respond to my masculinity. Oh, and the "girlfriends" thing is straight out, e.g., I will suffer shopping with her, but I won't -go- shopping with her.

[3] This is the "Je ne sais quoi" part for me. The chemistry, but not just any chemistry. I can flirt with the ESFPs (took a long time to learn -that- skill!), but that's different from -her- getting a reaction from -me-. I'm almost very "P" in this respect: I don't know what it is until it hits me over the head. (After which, I go into to "J" mode and decide that I want it.)

[4] Interestingly, I don't like them to be "too pretty": experience has taught me that the pretty ones aren't the droids I'm looking for, to paraphrase a nerdy quote. I go more for classy (in a good non-snobby way), earthy, ready smile, and several dozen other impossible-to-list little things (because I'm NT) that tell me this is a likely prospect. This is another "Je ne sais quoi" for me, because as I meet more and more women, I find more and more kinds of beauty.

[ptrout]

"The perfect is the enemy of the good."

I don't want a "perfect" woman. I'd end up with exactly what I specified, and realize way too late that what I thought was perfect isn't even close to perfect, and not even good.

That said, there are qualities I know that are very likely.


She is an extrovert.
She treats me like a man, not a buddy or girlfriend.
There is something about her, other than looks, that impresses me and makes me think and expands my world.
I like how she looks.

Notes on the above:
[
Little bit different for all the catagories, but pretty much cover all the areas in the right order for me.

1. Getting to know someone isn't hard for me, I am inquisitive and bit stalker-ish (I do my homework is all I mean) But the part of E that I like, is their openness and willingness to drag me out of my cave and in the world. A nice compliment to a "rather stay in" type. And I find them more refreshing and effervescent.

2. I agree with your take. Its being able to have fun, but know when you are using a serious tone, and to be able to take what I say at face value. I guess this would be trust for me.

3. Yeah its a strange element, can't exactly point a finger at it, to me it seems like sum of all of these other elements.

4. Looks is kind of funny. I think I know what I like but I can't say there is such a thing as love at first sight for me. I can recognize someone to be attractive, but they remain in the vastness of other attractive people, until I get to know them better and something clicks, and oddly it makes them more physically attractive than before.

In closing for this INTJ it would have to be someone who is an compliment rather than a matching one.

[reckful]

As long as she has a beautiful face natural selection is going to want me to take her as my own so I'm not going to list off a list of parallels I would like to see from her and expect her to have them if I choose to accept her since a genetic advantage has already been pinned out.

It's been more than 30 years since Richard Dawkins published The Selfish Gene, the best-seller in which he explained that the real player in the Game of Evolution is the gene pool, rather than individual organisms. Humbling though it can feel at first, human individuals -- from the ugliest of women to the most awesome ENTJ -- are really just tools (or "vehicles") that the gene pool uses to accomplish its own ends.

So old news it may be, but Jaden, I have to say that in all my days I may never have encountered a more dutifully enthusiastic tool than you. On behalf of all of us human genetic vehicles -- and especially those of us too stubbornly uncooperative to procreate -- allow me to thank you for your magnanimous devotion to the gene pool's aims. In a world where far too many marry for much more self-centered and short-term reasons -- "love" for their spouses, some kind of "emotional fulfillment" that they expect to experience from raising children, etc. -- your selfless eye on the evolutionary long term is truly a breath of fresh air.

It would be nice if she was charismatic, intelligent, and ambitious like me but being an understanding person and willing to support my objectives genuinely is enough by a longshot.

Don't ever lose that charisma, Jaden. And when the day comes that you finally hook up with that beautiful-faced, supportive companion-vehicle that you "choose to accept," please give her a good-luck kiss from me. :)

[pip]

1. Is interested in me (so far 100% failure rate :( )
2. Can string a coherent sentence together in any medium without resorting to idiotic txt spk.

Thats it.
:disappointed:

[Synapse]

"The INTJ idea of a perfect woman?"

I love women who act spontaneously without a plan, who find joy in noticing random stuff, who do things in a fun, unstructured way. I like silliness, but not poop and pee humor. If someone has their own unique style, and likes to be creative in a helpful way, it becomes easy for me to actually give praise, because I feel like I'm not faking anything. I absolutely love it when women wear colorful accessories, though I despise tatoos.

I don't like women who are assertive and independent. (This is just a polite way of calling someone an entitled workaholic.) A little bit of empathy goes a long way with me.

I love that too. I'm not a bully, I just prefer more spontaneity and a lesser "edge" than myself. In fact, I have had a couple females have crushes on me and they were all INFPs (I was told that such a personality type likes us due to our "mystery") but I was too apathetic to care for most of them apart from one.

[Jefferson]

Perfect?

Smart (general overview, not just high IQ)
Pretty (face comes first)
Characterful (loyalty comes first)

I guess, I'm very picky :anxious:

[Cincinnatus]

I've thought about this for a while now, and still cannot come to a definite answer. You see, when I meet you, I set up a personality/physical line chart in my head. As time goes by, the lines get moved around, until I have a fairly reliable description of you. These attributes do have some weight to them, but can be outweighed by others.

For example, you don't have to have the hottest body on the street. I would point to the "Dove Girls (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)" picture posted by JB. They aren't sizzling, but they are still attractive. On looks alone, I'd tell them "Why don't you come up sometime and see me?" If one of them plays off my personality very well, I'm sold.

In my darker humor, I could see myself saying, "Yeah, so she's missing a eye, rail thin and wants to be called 'Tammy Rae'. She has a wicked sense of humor, not a psycho, and is a Norse goddess in bed!"

Women are human, and I have yet to see humans reach any sort of perfection. I just want to be happy with my choice.

[Ix Azai]

Perfection is a fools game. "He who seeks perfection finds only disappointment." What one should seek is continual growth and improvement. This is one of the first things I look for, a drive to better oneself even if only in small ways. Next is intelligence. I really don't care how hot a girl is, if she's as smart as a bag of sand, I'm not going to stay with her. Thirdly is looks. I'm not a real picky guy, most of my restrictions in this area have to do with weight, but this is still something I look for. Finally is the right world outlook. That careful blend of understanding that the universe doesn't care one wit about you, but at the same time, you are who you are and demand respect for it. Perhaps I phrase it incorrectly but this is what I seek

[drawThreeCards]

In order:

1) Needs to enjoy sex as much as if not more than I do.

2) Needs to intellectually stimulate me. This can be accomplished in any number of ways, the least of which is asking an open-ended question with genuine interest in my reply.

3) Needs to tolerate my habits, good and bad.