Relaxation

[MichaelH]

During the break between school sessions, I've realized I have absolutely no idea how to relax.

Let me rephrase: I have no idea how to relax productively. People are usually supposed to feel more energetic and unwound after relaxing. I don't.

I can disconnect from everything, just sit, and play Unreal Tournament (2004 and original) for days on end. This a non-work activity, but I don't feel relaxed after this.

While unwinding, I keep coming up with things to do, which get added to my "to do" list. when I'm done, I don't feel recharged. I just feel like I sat for a week and now have a big "to do" list.

I do feel recharged after reading a good novel, but I'm having a hard time finding good ones. Besides, I've been playing UT for days now, and I want to DO something. Something relaxing, not something from my "resolutions for 2008" list. There are four days left before I have to start prepping for next session. It's slipping away. Must. Make. Self. Relax.

What do other INTJs do to unwind? How can you tell if you've been successful?

[Bear Warp]

I relax by reading and by sleeping.

Reading allows me to focus all my attention on something without having to worry about failure (which is the reason why video games are anything but relaxing for me).

When I sleep, I don't have to think, and not having to think, in my opinion, is pure relaxation. Plus, sleep naturally recharges everything- muscles, mind, appetite...

My methods aren't always productive, but books can provide all sorts of knowledge and dreams can provide wonderful inspiration.

[dayguard]

I have rediscovered the relaxing nature of reading. :)

[Zilal]

What do other INTJs do to unwind? How can you tell if you've been successful?

Good question... I have struggled to find ways to relax too. I got a Tai Chi video and I follow along with it and it's actually quite good, and can be helpful.

[Danisty]

One thing I've found about relaxing is that you really can't do it if there is something else you know you should be doing. So, I don't even bother attempting to relax until I've done the housework, etc.

[Nolen]

Relaxing... the one thing that I'm worse at than small talk. I drink to stop thinking, but it isn't really relaxing so much as escaping and I certainly don't feel "recharged" afterwards. I have tried breathing exercises to relax and fall asleep but they only work moderately well. Every once in a while I see a movie that draws me in enough where I feel like I'm "in the moment" for a couple hours, but that's pretty temporary. When I read I am on a mission to obtain understanding so it's not very relaxing. Shit... I don't really know I guess. More often than not when I'm exhausted I move on to a new, different project and that makes me feel more recharged than any period away from a project.

[yam]

I do have the same problem "MichaelH" ...
Even, when I closed my eyes to sleep, my mind usually couldn't be stopped.
Reading is the only way to make me relax although it can make me deezy (because usually I can't stop myself and then, of course, I keep reading for hours...)

[AntimonyLegault]

I'm one of those people who gets prescribed 'nerve pills' aka benzodiazepines, because I'm a hyper analysist or something (InTJ). They definately help to relieve stress, but so do alot of other things.

[rwyatt365]

To relax, I work on my car. Just a few days ago I installed a new belt tensioner to stop a squealing noise. and I've already ordered parts for my next project (a smaller pulley for the supercharger = MORE POWER!!). Working with my hands helps me to "turn off" my mind.

[cielo market]

If I have the time to nap during the day, I just relax and let my mind go wherever (since I'm bound to come up with strange thoughts and ideas at some point) and let it slip into my dreams. I can't do this at night, for some reason...

In other words, I sleep for relaxation. It's a good escape.

[mikeeppolito]

It's hard to say what I do to relax because I go through different phases throughout the day and it's hard to say where one stops and another begins. (Probably about half the time I'm relaxing and the other half I'm doing things.) When I relax I usually lie in bed and read something or possibly watch tv. I need things to be absolutely quiet otherwise it will be too difficult for me to relax.

[fripping]

you should try harder to relax. like, squint up your face in a grimace until it turns red and your eyes bulge, then scream out at the top of your lungs "GOD DAMN IT I WANT TO RELAX OR SOMETHING!" then jump up and down as vehemently as you can.

relaxation is an achievement which can only be reached by the truly strong and grim of heart. you musn't dare fall short or you will never live it down. you must be the king of relaxers, mowing down everything in your path to total calm! if the dog next door's barking is upsetting go over there and smash its brains out with a hammer! if god stands in the way of your relaxation, cut his belly open!

there. relaxed? i knew you would be. ahhhhh.

[rwyatt365]

you should try harder to relax. like, squint up your face in a grimace until it turns red and your eyes bulge, then scream out at the top of your lungs "GOD DAMN IT I WANT TO RELAX OR SOMETHING!" then jump up and down as vehemently as you can.

relaxation is an achievement which can only be reached by the truly strong and grim of heart. you musn't dare fall short or you will never live it down. you must be the king of relaxers, mowing down everything in your path to total calm! if the dog next door's barking is upsetting go over there and smash its brains out with a hammer! if god stands in the way of your relaxation, cut his belly open!

there. relaxed? i knew you would be. ahhhhh.
fripping, you are obviously an apex relaxer. :thumbsup:

[Bossy Mom]

I quilt to relax, and doubt if that would be your chosen method. I've also been reading the Frankenstein books by Dean Koontz. They're fun. During this break, my daughter and I went to the Wild Animal Park and saw "Sweeny Todd" yesterday. I don't know where you live, but there must be some day-long places to go to find escape (and often enrichment). In the evenings, we watch cable and eat popcorn.

[Maitri1970]

I read a few books on Zen meditation last summer that were wonderful! I love to read, generally, but these books were very helpful.

Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind by Shunryu Suzuki was really helpful.

Good luck.

[SMKN LS1]

To relax, I work on my car. Just a few days ago I installed a new belt tensioner to stop a squealing noise. and I've already ordered parts for my next project (a smaller pulley for the supercharger = MORE POWER!!). Working with my hands helps me to "turn off" my mind.

Rwyatt365 - I'm with you on this one! Wrenching on a project car always focuses my brain on the task at hand. Although this would be stressful for many other people, it allows me downtime from the ten+ topics usually purcolating about. There's nothing like wrestling with a set of headers to fit them into an engine bay that wasn't made for them!

Supercharger? I've been thinking about doing the same thing to my Grand Prix...


I remember reading about how teachers and psychologists deal with children that have ADD. They mentioned that one good therapy was to have the children move heavy objects around a room. Sort of like pack animals. Not that I have ADD, but I've found that lifting weights and listening to metal music brings a form of relaxation to my mind as well.

[Hdier]

It's odd, but playing video games during the day then reading 'till about midnight, falling asleep an hour later with big philosophical questions running through my head, then waking up at ten-ish the next day is very relaxing for me.

[Pinkie]

I'm rubbish at relaxing! I can't not do something, so usually I try reading for a while with some music on in the background. As long as I'm by myself, that usually works. Or I go for a long walk - again, by myself - and by the time I get in I'm so tired I'm ready to drop, and the next day I feel pretty darned good :)

[gzeus]

I relax and generally try to mellow out my hyper personality by swimming laps daily and going to the gym. I have found that my ideal work involves some kind of physical activity, so I can tire myself out phisically and switch off my mind.

People always notice how much cooler I am if I exercise and race my bike regularly. In winter I am noticably grumpier :)

That doesn't mean I don't like to read to relax. I do, but only fiction, where my mind can dream instead of work on problem-solving.

Anyone with similar findings?

[thegnat]

At college, there is a very rare occasion that i'll actually be able to relax. Or at least not feel like I have a ton of things to do. I do mind-numbing things to give my mind a break from studying, et al, however I still feel like I have fifty things I should do because I'm not doing anything productive. Sleeping, doing sudoku, getting away from school and forgetting about it by hanging out at the stable, playing tennis (although I get tired and it can be stressful at times I at least forget school stress which is always good).

At home, I'm usually the other way around. I'm usually bored out of my skull. But I am able to relax because I *don't* have fifty million things to do. I just don't do much at home, period.

Edited to add: working out is also great to get my mind off things. It makes me feel good afterwards...those endorphins... So yeah, gzeus: I am the same way. In the winter it's so much harder for me to be generally happy and then less motivation to work out, etc. And then it's a downward cycle!

[Diana]

I relax and generally try to mellow out my hyper personality by swimming laps daily and going to the gym. I have found that my ideal work involves some kind of physical activity, so I can tire myself out phisically and switch off my mind.

People always notice how much cooler I am if I exercise and race my bike regularly. In winter I am noticably grumpier :)

...Anyone with similar findings?

Amen! I'm a bit religious in my approach at exercising. But once exercised, I feel like I've done something worthwhile that day... I'm so endorphined-up in the summer with all of the outdoor stuff I can enjoy doing.

In a stress management class I took last winter (required for my major) I read that your body cannot physically/mentally be under stress (bad stress=distress) while you are laughing. Laughter reduces stress hormones, blood pressure, etc. A lot of times if I've had a stressful day, or am just trying to unwind, I'll listen/watch some kind of (actually funny) comedy sketch and just let myself laugh. Helps me not take myself/life/everything little thing so darn seriously!

[karen]

Maybe you don't need to relax! Perhaps the videogames are leaving you empty because you feel you're wasting time. Just get started on the next term's reading or go to a thrift book shop and find an old text book and get a head start on a subject you know you'll have to take eventually: some subjects like organic chemistry haven't changed much in decades. Even a part-time job or taking on extra hours during the break are fun, that way you can save up a little more money. If you need a break from the ordinary, you can produce some art and talk to a small book-store or coffee shop about displaying and selling it for a percentage of the profit!

[uberosity]

To add: The Miracle of Mindfulness and other works by Thich Nhat Hanh... anything on mindfulness, and hatha yoga - it is amazing

So, basically, it helps me to focus intensely on living in the present moment through various forms of meditation

[Pkz]

This somehow reminds me of Homer in "The Simpsons", whipping his dogs and screaming at the top of his lungs; "REST! REST! REST!"

I for one, enjoy books, video-editing and other semi-artistic work. Perhaps creating something for others to enjoy might be as relaxing as enjoying it yourself?

[OmegaPsi]

Staying up all night, in the dark alone, while listining to some good music with a soda and a snack in my hand, and searching the internet for soething to learn.

If you cant stay up all night, Ill listin to music and read.