Since we're talking about sex... how about celibacy?

[Feral]

I see a few peoples' posts around here that say that they are asexual.
I don't consider myself asexual, as I still have attractions here and there, but I do consider myself to be deliberately celibate.

And now I'm curious. I was pretty sure it would be a long time, if ever, that I could related to someone even a little bit on the subject.


... and polls are fun ;)

And I put up there to choose one from each little section, but if more apply, please go ahead and click it. I'm also interested in WHY, if you're up for the discussion.

(I've never made a poll before... may not be the most scientific thing)




I am aware that I didn't put in enough options for everyone.
If you can think of an option that you would be apt to click if it were there, please share :)

[Nightshiver2]

Generally:

I doubt 'NTJ' correlates with libido. Introversion likely does: Anecdotally, I was once a major introvert but my sexual desires caused me to develop my extroversion significantly.

Overall, there's many factors that go into hormonal levels, sexual lust, etc, (I recall a study correlating a drug inversely with it). If you are lacking, you may find even as simple as a vitamin deficiency is the culprit, I recommend investing various methods of addressing this.. (otherwise your missing out..)

For girls (and less so guys): Often times significant emotional intimacy is a requirement for sexual urges. If your an INTJ its harder to get this part met =)

[Kisai]

According to your poll, if you have sex, you'll either "scrog" anybody, or only with a comitted partner.

Logical fallacy of the Undistributed Middle, much?

[Harmony]

According to your poll, if you have sex, you'll either "scrog" anybody, or only with a comitted partner.

Logical fallacy of the Undistributed Middle, much?

Hehe, I think this is why I haven't answered. I don't have a place that I fit in. :p

[Feral]

According to your poll, if you have sex, you'll either "scrog" anybody, or only with a comitted partner.

Logical fallacy of the Undistributed Middle, much?

I tried thinking of other things to fit in there, but I couldn't think them in at the time. I figured anyone with other views would just click Other, and then enlighten us :)

[zibber]

Definitely not so into the "casual sex". I've been tempted and wouldn't dismiss the possibility of having sex with someone who isn't my committed partner (as long as I didn't have one of those at the time), but exclusively lust-based sex doesn't seem very satisfying and one hell of a fickle thing to put any effort into.

On that note: shouldn't there be some option along the lines of "sex means little to me without love"? (I'm aware that everyone and their mother has suggestions, but there wasn't a second option I was comfortable selecting.)

Hehe, I think this is why I haven't answered. I don't have a place that I fit in. :p

You just don't want to face facts ;)

[alphawolf]

I don't consider myself asexual, as I still have attractions here and there, but I do consider myself to be deliberately celibate.


And since you are celibate, do you really dress like your avatar?

[Feral]

And since you are celibate, do you really dress like your avatar?

LOL, no. Only for photo shoots.

[Vagrant]

Sex without emotional intimacy seems kinda pointless to me, to be honest. You could probably just enjoy yourself more with a few "tools." Simply put, casual sex doesn't really seem woth the risk for at most an hour of pleasure.

[Feral]

Sex without emotional intimacy seems kinda pointless to me, to be honest. You could probably just enjoy yourself more with a few "tools." Simply put, casual sex doesn't really seem woth the risk for at most an hour of pleasure.

Very much agreed.

[rara avis]

I suppose after this shocking length of time, I can be considered celibate. :p So I selected option two... but I didn't select from the second group, because the explanations didn't suit.

Hm, now that I'm thinking about it, maybe I should've gone with #4. I'm only celibate because of the absolute lack of a suitable/committed partner.

[Autoptic]

How does a virgin answer this? Does "I like sex" imply experience or theory too? Aside from various fears like those listed, there's also the matter of simply not liking people. Most sexual and social trappings are obnoxious and run counter to the point.

[Feral]

How does a virgin answer this? Does "I like sex" imply experience or theory too? Aside from various fears like those listed, there's also the matter of simply not liking people. Most sexual and social trappings are obnoxious and run counter to the point.

I think that remaining a virgin by choice, regardless of urges, would be celibacy, but virgin because you don't have any sexual feelings would be asexual?

Good question.

[Autoptic]

I think that remaining a virgin by choice, regardless of urges, would be celibacy, but virgin because you don't have any sexual feelings would be asexual?

Good question.

OK, define choice then. Does celibate mean you don't actively seek it or does is assume you actually had to actively refuse? Where I grew up it wasn't something you had to purposely avoid but would've been nigh impossible to get. There've been come-ons in college and university, but they were mostly weak and touchy, so it's not like they're directly propositioning.

[alphawolf]

OK, define choice then. Does celibate mean you don't actively seek it or does is assume you actually had to actively refuse?

Men seek, women choose. That's the way it is.

[Autoptic]

Men seek, women choose. That's the way it is.

Yeah...you assume men like seeking too, right?

[alphawolf]

Yeah...you assume men like seeking too, right?


No, what I meant to say is that all it takes for most men to remain celibate is that they don't actively seek, but celibate women usually must actively refuse. Of course there are exceptions, such as if the man is extraordinarily attractive, or if the woman is extraordinarily unattractive.

[True Rune]

I'm asexual. I don't desire sex from anyone. But if I ever did have it, I'd only do it when I married. I voted wrong, I voted the religion option, but that wasn't your question.

My votes would be "asexual" and "I choose this because I simply have no sex drive to speak of"

[Henry]

According to your poll, if you have sex, you'll either "scrog" anybody, or only with a comitted partner.

Logical fallacy of the Undistributed Middle, much?

This. I've had sex with people when I'm not in a committed relationship, but I won't scrog anything. I'll scrog anything that is female, I have rapport with, is physically and emotionally attractive, and who is unlikely to have extreme emotional baggage or STDs.

Also where's the "Celibate - Too afraid/anxious/neurotic/ugly to have sex" category? I'm not saying its all celibates, but its certainly some of them.

[Harmony]

You just don't want to face facts ;)

You are right I don't want to face the facts! Been without it since January 1!? :cry:

[reb]

sex with emotional intimacy and sex without emotional intimacy have both finally been pointless; they have also been pointful in small ways. what 'resulted' depended entirely on the situation. looking back, i cannot see a 'real, overwhelming, valuable' point to any of the sex i have had. it was just 'sex'; the lust was fine, the 'love' and goofy baggage with it much less so. the most 'good feeling', 'emotional' intimacy i have had has been with friends, not lovers. frankly, emotional intimacy has no real point to me except that, when it does occur, it calms the 'i am not alone in the universe' feeling that most humans seem to have...even though we are both alone and not alone, depending on perspective. the paradox is confusing, is it not? the desire for emotional intimacy is psychological clumping, like pack, schooling or herd animals do. reasons? make up whatever floats yer boat. being a fragile wad of flesh in a massive, violent, apparently empty, vacuum ridden universe on a tiny planet with a diminishing atmosphere that can be utilized for respiration bothers some individuals enough they want to breed to boost the completely false feeling that their current form can be immortal, i suppose. heehee 'twould be better to explore the deep reasons humans even bother to have sex given the current situation.

scrog 'em all; let god sort 'em out!

[Prunesquallor]

Honestly, I'm just lazy....

[speedsuit721]

What about virginity not because of asexuality or celibacy but for the simple fact of not being able to find someone we want to have sex with?

[alphawolf]

Honestly, I'm just lazy....

Too lazy to have sex? Sounds like an English Bulldog... Do you use "toys" ?

[Prunesquallor]

Too lazy to have sex? Sounds like an English Bulldog... Do you use "toys" ?

Nah, I read books.

Mostly, I like things when they're shoved under my nose. Not literally. But if they're not right there, I don't compensate for them, I just get on with my life.

Also, you're creepy and that's none of your business. Just saying...

[BostonIan]

Sort of an odd combination, but I picked "I am celibate; I have sexual urges, yet choose to abstain" and "I choose this because I like sex".

None of the listed explanation reasons really fit, but the "I like sex" is the for the reproductive sort. Somewhere along the way, my sex drive merged with my reproductive drive and became indistinguishable. It goes beyond an opinion or personal taste, I see the world through that lens, to the point that people having sex without intending a pregnancy, wrapping themselves in latex or taking an over-dose of a hormone, looks abnormal and absurd.

Pleasure itself is like splashing water around; hit the water, it makes a lot of noise and flash for a second, and then the water settles back as if nothing ever happened. Long term, personal wants and pleasures amount to nothing except what exists after the feeling disappears, and all that sex seems to make is babies.

Reproduction being a given, to me, the only acceptable scenario for impregnating a woman is within the context of marriage. Fatherlessness is socially harmful, the closely-related tribal-raising scenario isn't practically available to modernity, the theoretical scenario where you could stay together in a family unit but not be married seems needless, and impregnating a woman married to another man seems cosmically wrong.

[Henry]

Pleasure itself is like splashing water around; hit the water, it makes a lot of noise and flash for a second, and then the water settles back as if nothing ever happened. Long term, personal wants and pleasures amount to nothing except what exists after the feeling disappears, and all that sex seems to make is babies.


This is probably accurate, but I'd like to comment that:
1. This is true of most human desires.
2. Its still quite fun to play in the water.

[alphawolf]

I think this poll lacks an important facet: geographical origin (which speaks to culture).

Currently, I think that it is probably heavily skewed by USA culture.

[Feral]

I think this poll lacks an important facet: geographical origin (which speaks to culture).

Currently, I think that it is probably heavily skewed by USA culture.

I think that would be covered by 'it's what society expects of me'.

[alphawolf]

I think that would be covered by 'it's what society expects of me'.

Yes, but there should be 3 choices, not 2. Otherwise people don't have the feasible option to choose society...

Anyway, good thread.

[Acextreme]

Well, I like sex but I will only do it with the girl that I love, where there's emotional intimacy between both of us. And apart from religion, it's also my morals to abstain from sex until marriage; you seem to have left out the morals part...

[randuincanus]

Celibate, other (although I agree with BostonIan).

Religion is a factor, but I don't think if my circumstances were different my lifestyle would change.

[alphawolf]

I chose: I'm neither; I'll scrog just about anyone

That's not really true, but it was the closest choice.

I'll scrog just about anyone I'm attracted to, as long as I'm not in a committed relationship... That's more like it.

Also: I choose this because I like sex

[cereza]

Other: I`m celibate (virgin), but I`m sure I`ll engage in sex once I find a committed partner. Can`t definitely say I like it because I never had it. [shrug]

[Tyrant Soup]

Most of our attitudes toward sex are simply the result of social indoctrination. There is nothing inherently superior about celibacy or promiscuity. Both is equally good.

[Linwenilid]

My choices were sex w/commited partner, choose because of religion. I think that maybe without my religion, I'd have been more open to casual sex, but that's theoretically; in practice, I don't think I would have changed much from my current lifestyle; being such an Introvert Thinker (not the function) has pretty much scared all the boys.

[towith]

I'm neither; I like sex, but with a committed partner/I choose this because my partner likes sex

I reached my sexual peak at 18 and ever since have been easily able to go without. Now sex is more of a technical exercise for me, a way of fully utilizing my knowledge of human anatomy et cetera. I find it is also an excellent way of studying my Fi function, as it often makes an appearance.

[Nemesis]

I go through different phases of celibacy. If I feel it necessary, I will stop seeking or accepting sex in order to keep strict focus on other priorities that are then forefront. My friends have dubbed me the "part time monk". It's something that has worked very well for me and has prevented many complications from occurring when I'm putting whatever evil plan I'm up to into motion. However, if I happen to be in a relationship at the time I accept that "complication" as a constant in my life... and enjoy it ;)

Anyone else do this?

[llBradll]

I'm going to make my own options.

I'd have sex with a decent amount of females when there's good communication or intimacy

Because I love sex.