INFP/ENFJ Relationships

[Luci Sheffield]

I was having a hard time finding a thread for this specific pairing.

I found one for INFP/ENFP and something else.

If this has already been covered, please let me know.

So how do INFP (Male) /ENFJ (Female) do in relationships?

Specifically, what attracts their attention (besides the golden rule of being yourself)?

[JohnDoe]

So, um, have you tried flirting? :p

Why don't you tell us about him? Out with it now :)

[Luci Sheffield]

Haha! I've been told that I flirt a lot when I don't even realize it. Kinda like second nature when I'm being playful with friends.

No, I'd rather not dish details. I'm not able to have a relationship with him. He's too old for me.

I was just curious about the interactions between us.

[JohnDoe]

Haha! I've been told that I flirt a lot when I don't even realize it. Kinda like second
nature when I'm being playful with friends.
This is a typical INFJ trait. It probably applies to ENFJ's too. You can probably see it in my posts too.

Maybe Wotsammatu will have something to contribute for the interactions..

[Luci Sheffield]

Well I'm border line E/I. I used to be extremely introverted, but now my persona changes depending on circumstances.

Do we have anyone who knows about the ENFJ/INFP relations though?

I read somewhere that they are "ideal" but then there was some controversy about the "true" ideal and such.

[JohnDoe]

Well I'm border line E/I. I used to be extremely introverted, but now my persona changes depending on circumstances.

Do we have anyone who knows about the ENFJ/INFP relations though?

I read somewhere that they are "ideal" but then there was some controversy about the "true" ideal and such.

Try Wotsammatu. Shes an INFP who normally gives good advice, which I immediately disagree with. :p

Do you tend to find that you need to be alone to recharge your batteries ever? If so your on the I side, but close (which is where I am; I can't stand to be alone as much as most of the people on this forum, but I need my time to recharge). If very rarely need to recharge, your on the E side.

Ideal matches tend to be pretty sketchy in my opinion -- not much there to back up the idea.

Edit: Being introverted does not mean that you have to hate socializing. It means you need time to "recharge."

[Luci Sheffield]

I hate to keep going off-topic.

It varies. I have personality issues--I'm an actress. :P

I constantly change who I am, what I look like, how I write, etc.

I just really like variety. I LOVE socializing and need to be around something exciting, but too much and I feel drained and emo. I hate and love people. It's really complex. Like, I'll spend all day with a person figuring out what makes them tick, but after getting to know them to a certain point, I am disgusted at some of their negative "human" qualities and need to retreat.

I'm really picky and can't handle negativity and bad behavior.

Ok. I'm shooting for no more off-topic now.


:)

[JohnDoe]

Your an INFJ. Trust me.

[WaeV]

You could be ambiverted.

Sorry, I have nothing to add to the on-topic discussion.

[wotsamattaU]

Specifically, what attracts their attention (besides the golden rule of being yourself)?

Well, I know how I interact with ESFJ's...and it's a difficult road. Obviously just could be us and not a type related thing, but communication is a bit oil and water. I have no ENFJ experience that I know of, but I believe the 'N' is the most important factor here and likely to be the one you two are hitting it off with. 'N' to 'N' connections can be very magnetic, especially if the individuals involved share a common interest, life view, value set, etc.

What attracts my attention (as I can't speak for all within the type) is:

People who are
Kind
Intelligent
Funny
Unusual (characters who tend to be just left of center)
Quiet
Creative
Witty
Share an interest/value/trait
Adventurous
Enjoy the outdoors
Care about something deeply (Displays passion for it)


That's just a short list. Maybe some of the other INFP on the forum can chime in with their own.

I note how you treat others, this includes people, pets, and possessions (yours and at large). Do you display patience or agitation, are you humble or arrogant, do you care about the world and the bigger picture or are you entirely out for yourself. Those sorts of things.

Status and wealth are not necessarily attractors (in fact I am guilty of reverse snobbery - it's something I have to actively work at to get past).

An off beat sense of humor will instantly grab my attention. If you toss in some word play - now I am interested in learning more about you. (You're not boring - you're interesting.)

Try Wotsammatu. Shes an INFP who normally gives good advice, which I immediately disagree with. :p

Ain't that the truth - next thing you know, you'll be quoting me and disagreeing once again. Of course, you'll be wrong. hehe

[Luci Sheffield]

Ahh yes. That makes sense.

What does "just left of center" mean?

[wotsamattaU]

A bit off the beaten track from the general masses, be it in their appearance, humor, outlook, political leanings...


Not narrow or conservative in thought, expression, or conduct.

Synonyms: broad-minded, liberal, open-minded, tolerant

also

Ahead of current trends or customs, avant-garde

Left of Center (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)





wotsamattaU added to this post, 3 minutes and 28 seconds later...

Ahh yes. That makes sense.


Which parts did you relate to specifically? You've given us very little to work off of. ;)

[Luci Sheffield]

Ahh thank you.

I am definitely left of center..

Both sides relate accurately. I'll detail more later when I'm not sleep deprived... probably privately though. It is rather taboo hence the impossibility for him to notice me romantically.

Tomorrow maybe? I won't have access for the next week after Friday.

[curiousjane]

I knew a guy who was INFP and had an ENFJ girlfriend. He was totally devoted to her, and she was the energy that surrounded him.

I didn't know her very well (only worked with him, not a close friend). The only thing I noticed that ticked me off on his behalf was that she seemed to boss him around. He didn't seem to notice.

[wotsamattaU]

Ahh thank you.

Tomorrow maybe? I won't have access for the next week after Friday.

Sure, PM me anytime.

[Luci Sheffield]

jacked someone's interwebs <_< >_>

MWAHAHAHA~

*clears throat*

Anyway. Um, about the bossiness...yeah can see that. I don't boss people around in a crude kinda authoritarian way, but if something stucks out funny like he *being the imaginary SO* didn't comb his hair that day or forgot to use manners, I might drop a hint about it.

"People who are

* Kind
* Intelligent
* Funny
* Unusual (characters who tend to be just left of center)
* Quiet
* Creative
* Witty
* Share an interest/value/trait
* Adventurous
* Enjoy the outdoors
* Care about something deeply (Displays passion for it)"

Doesn't that describe a broad range of people though?

[wotsamattaU]

Doesn't that describe a broad range of people though?

Sadly, NO. :disappointed:

You're hedging and not revealing a thing. heh

I can empathize with your situation, as I am in a very similar one. It can't happen, but there is an incredible pull.

[Luci Sheffield]

I know right?

To begin with, I don't believe in love or dating or anything, so to attracted to someone almost 15 years older than you that you CAN'T date, even if you wanted to...gosh.

But the qualities you listed seem rather broad and simple. I guess it just seems normal to me cause I fit into all of those categories.

[wotsamattaU]

I know right?

To begin with, I don't believe in love or dating or anything

What do you believe in then? Just curious. Do you aspire to maintain a relationship in the future with a significant other? Perhaps you would prefer a relationship without romantic elements?

But the qualities you listed seem rather broad and simple. I guess it just seems normal to me cause I fit into all of those categories.

Many people fit one here or there. Finding someone who hits them all is akin to having bells and flashing lights go off in your brain. heh

[Luci Sheffield]

I do not intend on ever having a relationship with a SO.

“There is no such thing as love. There’s surviving, we only “think” there is “love” because of our human need to procreate. We can love anyone just as you love anyone. That's what love is. It is not true. It’s just human. I get that now. Love isn’t special, and neither is friendship. All of that is just a survival technique. We socialize for protection and security, resources, stability. We “love” so our species can go on.”

The type of love I desire doesn't seem to exist in this world. I desire something much more.

Pretty much...I just have a lot of issues.

"Many people fit one here or there. Finding someone who hits them all is akin to having bells and flashing lights go off in your brain. heh"

I sure hope I'm sending lights off in his brain then. :)

[JohnDoe]

I do not intend on ever having a relationship with a SO.

“There is no such thing as love. There’s surviving, we only “think” there is “love” because of our human need to procreate. We can love anyone just as you love anyone. That's what love is. It is not true. It’s just human. I get that now. Love isn’t special, and neither is friendship. All of that is just a survival technique. We socialize for protection and security, resources, stability. We “love” so our species can go on.”

The type of love I desire doesn't seem to exist in this world. I desire something much more.

Pretty much...I just have a lot of issues.

"Many people fit one here or there. Finding someone who hits them all is akin to having bells and flashing lights go off in your brain. heh"

I sure hope I'm sending lights off in his brain then. :)

There are enough idealists out there in the world that you'll eventually find one. But it may not be tomorrow, this month, or this year.

[Sinequanon]

“There is no such thing as love. There’s surviving, we only “think” there is “love” because of our human need to procreate. We can love anyone just as you love anyone. That's what love is. It is not true. It’s just human. I get that now. Love isn’t special, and neither is friendship. All of that is just a survival technique. We socialize for protection and security, resources, stability. We “love” so our species can go on.”

Acting against those instincts - truly against them - is what love is. I hope you find it.