Helping friends with relationships

[Emperor045]

There is this thing I tend to do, and that's helping friends who have relationship problems. This isn't really INFJ, or INFx, in my case, but I'm fairly concise and clear about my advice, which surprises me. I do get in tactical-mode when discussing girls with friends, it's like my "thing".

[Maedhi]

Yeah, same here. In fact, I am surprisingly good at helping the broken hearted gather up the pieces and try again. It started when I was 13 and the more introverted I have become, the more some girl has wanted to unburden herself to me (it's usually a girl who wants to cry on my shoulder). I used to joke that when it comes to damsels in distress, I get the distress, some other guy walks away with the damsel.

[thiagofralves]

This happens to me too. A lot of my friends come to me when they have problems and I think I helped at least some. Once I even got to talk to both sides of a relationship which was very weird, it was like I couldn't say anything the other had said or even that I had talked to the other. Well, in the end they got together again.

[LaoTzu]

I think it's one of the things I am best at... I can relate to most circumstances, and I can usually see where someone is, based on where I saw myself in similar cases.

I think INTJ's as a whole would be good in this area. Tactical Mode is a good way to put it... taking all of these little jigsaw pieces and putting them together in a clear/concise manner that anyone with half a brain and a dose of rationality could use.

I only walk away when someone is unable to rationalize along with me...I fail to see the point in wasting time with people who are only interested in seeing a conclusion they WANT , rather than already have.

Oddly, I can't put it to work for myself.... maybe it's my Bodhisattva nature... :P

[Storm]

Here's my unsolicited advice: Don't give advice unless explicitly asked for. People hate it.

[Brittle]

Here's my unsolicited advice: Don't give advice unless explicitly asked for. People hate it.


Very true... although it's even more annoying when they DO ask for advice, then completely disregard it, stuff things up even more, then ask for more advice on how to fix the problem. ARRGGHHH!!!

[WaeV]

I do this all the time. It's especially fun to apply the MBTI to both parties.

[BobbyBouchay]

The only two people(both female) i've given the MBTI test to were both ESFJ. I too enjoy helping people with their relationship problems are tend to do quite well at it. I think it's mainly because an INTJ can understand systems and relationships tend to follow certain patterns. It can also be easy to find logical solutions to problems in relationships which some find difficult to dealll with.

First you get the sugar. then you get the power, then you get the women.

[Emperor045]

I do this all the time. It's especially fun to apply the MBTI to both parties.When I do this, I make errors, because I start to focus on the MBTI more then the relationship in question.

[WaeV]

I don't really base my help on it, it helps me to communicate with them.

[ElstonGunn]

I try to gently challenge people's assumptions in regard to their relationship problems. People love jumping to conclusions about these things and then assuming that there's no room for doubt in the accuracy their ideas. I try not to give advice as much as ask questions that are designed to make them work out their own answers. I like doing that because it lets me avoid the repercussions of giving bad advice.

[Samoan Corleone]

Here's my unsolicited advice: Don't give advice unless explicitly asked for. People hate it.

Well, yeah, I usually wait for them to ask anyway. I always get told that I'm "easy to talk to," it's probably because I don't interupt them when they're in the middle of making an important point and can hold on to my two cents until it's my turn to talk.

As I'm sure I've mentioned before, I've got a good chick friend I met online (ENFP?) who likes to give me girl advice, and I like to give her guy advice. It's like some gender-related version of The Departed. :laugh:

"When I was your age they'd say you could be a girl or a boy. The point I'm making is this: when you're facing a relationship problem, what's the difference?"