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View Full Version : Idiosyncrasies of attraction


Zilal
02-07-2009, 11:50 AM
I think I might have started a thread like this a couple years ago already, but since there are lots of new people on the forum, and it's fun, I'll start another one.

There are other threads going about what body types we're attracted to. But what are the little things--any kind of things--that you find attractive in the opposite (or same) sex? Could be big breasts, okay, but it could be glasses, or long fingers, or a pillowlike stomach. A dry sense of humor or a speech impediment.

It's cool to hear people talk about things we might possess ourselves but never thought of as attractive.

playthestatic
02-07-2009, 12:09 PM
Interesting. Let's see - I do have a thing for nice hands. Well-defined knuckles and wrists, not necessarily slender but non-stubby fingers, well-proportioned fingers. I'd say these are things that add to attractiveness, I wouldn't find someone attractive if they had lovely hands but unattractive everything else.

a pillowlike stomach.

:laugh: Reminds me of the time I took a nap using this guy's stomach as a pillow (which just gave me a mental image of me lying on this bloody, gastric-juice secreting organ). The guy is certainly attractive, but I can't say that it is his stomach that gives me the wibbles.

HeyZeus
02-07-2009, 12:27 PM
Good skin, hair, teeth. Universal genetic positives. Fit body, or semi-fit indicates food & snacking not #1 priority/alternative to happiness. Not looking for supermodel skinny--that's no fun. Women with bony arses will (ok, "may theoretically") be the first to die off after the Apocalypse, but a good diet and relative fitness are indicators of self-respect (fine line between self-respect and vanity? I've experienced vanity--not good). Plus, exercise just pushes out angst and irritation better than anything else, including these drugs they give every kid whose mind wanders at school these days. My mind wandered in class--thankfully, I was left undiagnosed.

Anyway, a person that appears to have awareness of other peoples' motivations, again, as an opposite of vanity and self-absorption. I like slowing down and communicating. I do not have fixed thoughts about the universe. An ability to detect subtle sarcasm and satire is prerequisite for deeper attraction with me.

In conclusion, key turnoffs are vanity and self-absorption.

rara avis
02-07-2009, 12:33 PM
Strong eyebrows are nice.

I do like long fingers - my dad told me when I was little that they're a sign of nobility and intelligence. I think I bought it on some level. :D

Faces that crease nicely. I sometimes like frown lines between the brows, and crows feet are kind of cool, and some people actually manage to get very cool creasing when they smile.


Not make-or-break material, just some stuff I thought of.


Feet that are longer than mine. Very attractive, lol.

Vagrant
02-07-2009, 12:38 PM
I used to use sarcasm as an indicator to whether I found a girl attractive or not. Now I'm a lot more hesitant about that.

There's a certain hair texture, that's difficult for me to describe, that I always find attractive.

Feet that are longer than mine. Very attractive, lol.

My ENFP best friend always refers to my feet as clodhoppers. :p

Dresha
02-07-2009, 12:59 PM
I can't believe you mentioned glasses - I'm a goddamned sucker for glasses, let me tell you. For some reason it'll turn a 6 into a 9 immediately. Maybe it's the librarian/teacher fantasy, or maybe glasses just tend to perv me out a little bit.

playthestatic
02-07-2009, 01:17 PM
For some reason it'll turn a 6 into a 9 immediately.

The very first thing that occurred to me when I read that sentence was that it had something to do with 69. :surprised: *hunts for net to fish brain out of gutter*

Dresha
02-07-2009, 01:28 PM
The very first thing that occurred to me when I read that sentence was that it had something to do with 69. :surprised: *hunts for net to fish brain out of gutter*


Ahh yes, but the numbers fit together so nicely, don't they?

Mina
02-07-2009, 01:32 PM
- Glasses
- Long, thin fingers
- Slightly crooked teeth
- Treasure trails :P

dalidaisy
02-07-2009, 01:51 PM
intensity in their gaze

Harmony
02-07-2009, 02:08 PM
Arm muscles (and not like big muscly arms only... I like em all!)
Tattoos
Long Brown or black hair
Broad shoulders

That's just to name a few off the top of my head.

playthestatic
02-07-2009, 02:12 PM
Arm muscles (and not like big muscly arms only... I like em all!)


Oh my god, ditto. Well-defined arm muscles do have the ability to turn me into some kind of squealing fangirl. Rare breed among INTJs, I know. :shhh:

Shoeless
02-07-2009, 09:13 PM
- A nice butt, the kind which just makes you want to spank it.
- How she can meet The Look, yes, THAT Look, without immediately cowering in fear.
- Strong character and believes in the things that she does.
- Has a passion for something, it doesn't matter what that 'something' is...as long as it's not a passion for doing something morally wrong.

I guess in a way, the qualities within a woman are what attracts me most. Beautiful women with almost perfect bodies are everywhere; it is harder to find one who is just as beautiful on the inside. Also, a woman with a passion is just too darn sexy for me to resist. My defenses crumble like castles made of sand :lovestruck:

pocohauntus
02-07-2009, 09:26 PM
Knuckles. Yes.

loosefanbelt
02-07-2009, 09:38 PM
Twinkle in the eye.

une fille
02-07-2009, 09:47 PM
Faces that crease nicely. I sometimes like frown lines between the brows, and crows feet are kind of cool, and some people actually manage to get very cool creasing when they smile.
Make that two, please.


Lean muscle is attractive, imo.
This might be strange, but I like guys who have very apparent veins in their arms.

intjdude
02-07-2009, 09:57 PM
Knuckles?

How about a skinny girl with a lisp, a stutter and pointy nipples. :lovestruck: haha...

Maayan
02-07-2009, 10:08 PM
I'm going to sound like a total suck-up for saying this, but I'm attracted to the INTJ gaze. I don't find it attractive... I'm not used to that kind of intensity and I find it disconcerting... but I still want to look into it. It's really unique and special.

Otherwise, I like seeing people's shadows come out, even if it's just for a moment. It's like being in on a really cool secret.

I like really strong, direct voices, and when you can tell that someone had to learn to make that voice sound nice, and he or she they thought it was important to do that.

I appreciate good eyebrows. My grandmother strings eyebrows by profession, and I'm really impressed when women have a good shape that looks like it just grew like that naturally.

This is a little more personal, but I'm very attracted to someone who sees right through me and who wants me to improve. It makes me sad and happy at the same time.

Warm and encouraging professors, or people who act like them, are one of my favorite things in the world. It's like the perfect combination of a real friend and a mentor. One of my favorite professors in the world tries so hard to be outgoing and fun and to share knowledge, and that's exactly what I need to take in the knowledge. He puts his arm on me when he talks to me, and he addresses me with a tone of respect, and he lights up when I come to visit him in his office and chat. I think he's so great, and it makes me so relaxed and happy that he feels the same way about me.

SongofSeptember
02-07-2009, 10:16 PM
The little things, in no particular order.

1.
- How she can meet The Look, yes, THAT Look, without immediately cowering in fear.
--though it'll be a 'he' in my case.

2. Hair. I don't know what it is, the style, the texture or whatever, but there's just one type that gets me.

3. I have a thing for attractive back/shoulder muscles. Shame you can't really tell unless he starts stripping, in which case I'd have to test #1. Also like big hands with long fingers.

4. Teeth. The toothpaste-commercial kind.

5. Personal hygiene.

Medicine Man
02-07-2009, 10:25 PM
When a girl calls me my nickname, which is simply a slight derivation of my real name. Its a nice way of saying, "I like the feeling of familiarity between us, and I want it to continue".

rara avis
02-07-2009, 10:26 PM
...I like seeing people's shadows come out, even if it's just for a moment. It's like being in on a really cool secret.


Oh, that's a good one.
When you get a flash of honest reality from someone, and there's actually something there.

Harmony
02-07-2009, 10:29 PM
Make that two, please.


Lean muscle is attractive, imo.
This might be strange, but I like guys who have very apparent veins in their arms.

Nope, not odd! I forgot about that, but I am fascinated with very apparent veins!

And now I'm disappointed! I haven't seen a guy with that lately!!!

rara avis
02-07-2009, 10:42 PM
My veins become very apparent in my hands and forearms if I eat salt. (It's kind of weird, actually.)

Nice to meet you, Kymbirleigh. :flirt: Can I buy you ...some potato chips?

Vagrant
02-07-2009, 11:01 PM
My veins become very apparent in my hands and forearms if I eat salt. (It's kind of weird, actually.)

Nice to meet you, Kymbirleigh. :flirt: Can I buy you ...some potato chips?

XD

My veins are quite visible on my feet and hands if you're paying attention. Elsewhere, however, they're quite invisible.

mikebob
02-07-2009, 11:10 PM
I value things like acceptance and an encouraging attitude. If she's got that and she's cute and she's actually interested in me then I'm in trouble. If she's got all those things and a wit quicker than mine then I'm likely in the market for a ring.

Sylar
02-07-2009, 11:14 PM
I personally check out every aspect of a person, regardless of whether or not I'm attracted to them (I like to figure people out :)).

Of all the traits, I must say I'm attracted to Eyes (ones that draw your attention immediately, such as the bold font :)). Any color is fine I guess, and in terms of makeup and whatnot, maybe a little black eyeliner (definitely not overdone). The Naked-Eye is fine too :). It's the first thing I notice about someone. In terms of glasses, I'm not a fan, but I'd be accepting nonetheless.

Zilal
02-08-2009, 08:27 PM
Ummm... I like eyebrows too. And sharp features. I think it's rare that I've been attracted to people with round features.

Blond hair, for some reason. It immediately gets my attention. I have no idea why.

I like guys with ample lips. You know, sensuous. Facial hair is cool. On women, short hair kills me.

I like people who are quiet, especially if they're also confident and funny. I like people who speak softly when appropriate.

totallybarmy
02-08-2009, 08:34 PM
i like a man that farts
leaves the toilet seat up
and pisses on the floor because he cant get it in the toilet................this leaves all my options open to them all.
so many men....so.little time

acyckowski
02-09-2009, 01:34 AM
To quote the Big Bopper (RIP), "There ain't nothing in the world like a big-eyed girl"

I like big eyes. Preferably blue, but the overall aesthetics of hair and skin tone can make other eye colors work.

Elegant necks and upper backs, also.

Throw in a pony-tail, and I'm sold.

Those are my idiosyncrasies....as for the more typical tastes, big boobs and wide hips.

alphawolf
02-09-2009, 02:40 AM
There are other threads going about what body types we're attracted to. But what are the little things--any kind of things--that you find attractive in the opposite (or same) sex? Could be big breasts, okay, but it could be glasses, or long fingers, or a pillowlike stomach. A dry sense of humor or a speech impediment.


Long, thin legs. Not too thin lips. High cheekbones. Straight hair. Wide, sharp eyes. Long fingers. Flat stomach. Brown hair, green eyes. Feminine voice.

Big breasts - yuck.

I am attracted to sleek women who are built like cheetahs. Imagine a tall Estonian or Latvian woman with high heels and a long fur coat...

Mena Suvari (on the left) - yum! Gwen looks like a rooster compared to Mena.

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Skade
02-09-2009, 08:34 AM
I had a dream about "Him" once, it was incredible, and still when I close my eyes I can see him.

He was tall, muscular, but not at all bulky, He looked like he was almost being starved. Hands made for music, but forced to hardwork. His face was angular looking, special, and his personality was carved into every line. He looked like a person who had been trough hell and survived, he had a mental strenght and presence that was staggering, just breathtaking.

His skin was a rare goldenbrown, his eyes were almonshaped and the colour was a very light brown, almost like gold. He had shoulderlenght hair, like darkgold. Gold was the general theme, in different degrees.

And the way he moved! ahhh, careful, unrushed, graceful like some kind of feline.
He could by no means be called beautiful, his face was too terrifying, too bitter, to close to some kind dark inner landscape.

His eyes where the most beautiful thing with him, when they looked at me it was with complete surrender, eyes that said " I'm yours, and I will only ever be yours" Like I had changed him in some fundemental way, branded him mine. I don't think I will ever forget him.

curiousjane
02-09-2009, 11:54 AM
Ahh yes, but the numbers fit together so nicely, don't they?
It's called "kerning".
Wow. I'm a geek. Typological double entendres!


(And if you appreciate a good typological expression, that's a positive in my book!)

- Hands. Long, lean, muscled, veined hands with short (clean) fingernails.
- Hair. A good head of hair is a major plus.
- Eyes. Doesn't matter the color. Just that they are intriguing and expressive and delightful to stare into.
- Mouth. Does he smile a lot? Does he have expressions of thoughtfulness or amusement or mystery?
- Thought process. Able to handle abstract concepts, geek out, and let loose on occasion and be gloriously silly about ideas ... A MUST.
- Seriousness. I know, this is a weird one. But I find seriousness about work and the ability to plan and achieve to be very attractive. Especially if combined with confidence and decisiveness. It's one of those opposites attract things.


There's so many more. But I'm at work and simply taking a break at the moment. I don't have time for it. All I can say is: how lucky am I that my boyfriend fits under the category of ALL OF THE ABOVE?!

ElstonGunn
02-09-2009, 12:14 PM
For some reason it'll turn a 6 into a 9 immediately.

"Now if a six, turned out to be nine, I don't mind, I don't mind." (Where's Claptonian when you need him? ;))


I like it when a woman likes kids and animals. I don't have much of an opinion on either of them myself, but I associate her liking them with the warm and caring nature that I go apeshit for.

If this counts, I also have a thing for skirts. Any type of skirt, whether it's long or short or fancy or casual or whatever. In a certain way, I think they're the most attractive thing a woman can wear (and that's including "nothing").

4sakentears
02-09-2009, 12:19 PM
I guess it'd be long red or black hair, glasses, thought process, decisiveness, attitude, among many others.

Josephine1012
02-09-2009, 12:46 PM
When I really like someone, i tend to notice little quirks in the appearance that may be considered flaws by some (not deformities, of course) and find them very endearing. As a result when I look at other people (not the direct object of my interest) when they have similar flaws I tend to think that they add to overall attractiveness of that person.

Interestingly, that is something that stays with me even after I no longer like the person who brought my attention to those traits in the first place...

Aaron Burr
02-09-2009, 01:42 PM
I have a thing for hair. I like long hair that I can run my fingers through or put up. Color is less important (although blond and black are my favorites).

Must be smart. Intelligence (aka knowing stuff) is good, but the ability to reason things out and see different points of view (being smart) is more important.

Also the ability to banter is important for me. I hate when I slam someone and they either go to tears or come back with 'your mom!'.

ElstonGunn
02-09-2009, 02:06 PM
Also the ability to banter is important for me. I hate when I slam someone and they either go to tears or come back with 'your mom!'.

What if they actually left, and then came back with your mom? :p

Maayan
02-09-2009, 02:09 PM
So, I just saw this beautiful man walk by. He looked like an Egyptian prince. He had large, very obviously almond-shaped eyes (I don't like large round eyes; too paedomorphic) that looked so intense and soulful and thoughtful, and these long, angular facial features, like a regal eagle. Olive skin; black hair. Lean but muscular.

But he has to be inquisitive and good at it. I can't just imagine him to be that way; it has to be real. He'd be balanced, ideally. However, an intense desire to learn -- This is a deal-maker for me. No matter how much I try to get over this particular judgment, I just don't want to be with someone who doesn't crave knowledge and who settles for some weak semblance of what they want their life to be. I sympathize, because I know how acutely frustrating it can be to even figure out what you want to do with yourself, let alone establish and execute the requisite changes. However, it's never going to work if he doesn't want to go where I want to be.

(This is one big beef I have with the ESFP stereotype. Laughter is electric, but a feast that's all spice and no substance will always leave me with the feeling that something's missing. I am, in a sense, projecting my own internal battle onto others. [No shit, Sherlock.])

Harmony
02-09-2009, 02:13 PM
I think a guy that is really shy or bashful is adorable. :)

karenk
02-09-2009, 05:10 PM
I think a guy that is really shy or bashful is adorable. :)

The last shy male I met was adorable. A shy person is difficult to read though.

heyejanli
02-10-2009, 03:09 AM
I have a big obsession with Jewish men in particular and Middle Eastern / Mediterranean men in general. Dark hair, pale skin, intelligent - and the EYES!

*melt*

Harmony
02-10-2009, 12:28 PM
Oh, remembered another one. I have an obsession with guys who have dark hair (dark brown or black) and light eye colors (pale blue/pale green/hazel). :lovestruck:

Zilal
02-10-2009, 09:16 PM
Oh, remembered another one. I have an obsession with guys who have dark hair (dark brown or black) and light eye colors (pale blue/pale green/hazel). :lovestruck:

I'm just the opposite... love light hair and dark eyes.

daydreamer
02-11-2009, 01:33 AM
i like grey hair. or at least some grey hair, mixed in with the darker hair. on top of the head. LOL

Harmony
02-11-2009, 09:28 AM
I'm just the opposite... love light hair and dark eyes.

Now I do remember encountering a blond with deep brown eyes that was pretty darn sexy.... I just don't see them that often around here it seems... :(

Shinqui
02-11-2009, 06:31 PM
Good posture, strong spirit, lack of emotions, height, blond straight hair, long legs, full lips, long fingers, arched eyebrows, dark lipstick, high heels, short or long skirts, high necked or low cut shirts, (nothing in the middle for me), nylons, tights, lean muscle, long neck, small teeth, small pixie ears, dry wit, good taste, culture, refinement, attention to detail, silver jewelry, thumb rings, painted nails, the little Cleopatra tick of eyeliner in the corner of the eye, dancing ability, graceful movement, tattoos, piercings, lingerie, thongs, tight pants, chunky shoes, pale skin, and large eyes.

Well, its a good thing I'm not picky. :laugh:

Cocoa
02-11-2009, 07:32 PM
This of course is an ideal based on what I liked before.

Things that get me are:
- strong hands
- shiny well-managed hair (no mop heads!)
- smooth skin
- straight teeth are good to have :devilish:<- like this.
- well defined back muscles
- clean person
I also like when they can take my intense glare and are not afraid to look me straight in the eye. I find that very attractive.

Zilal
02-14-2009, 01:17 PM
Good posture, strong spirit, lack of emotions, height, blond straight hair, long legs, full lips, long fingers, arched eyebrows, dark lipstick, high heels, short or long skirts, high necked or low cut shirts, (nothing in the middle for me), nylons, tights, lean muscle, long neck, small teeth, small pixie ears, dry wit, good taste, culture, refinement, attention to detail, silver jewelry, thumb rings, painted nails, the little Cleopatra tick of eyeliner in the corner of the eye, dancing ability, graceful movement, tattoos, piercings, lingerie, thongs, tight pants, chunky shoes, pale skin, and large eyes.

Well, its a good thing I'm not picky. :laugh:

That's hilarious... I can't believe you're male. I don't think guys usually notice quite that much, let alone appreciate it.

I once closed my eyes and asked my long-term boyfriend what color they were. He said, "Uh, I dunno... green, right?" Wrong!

Jed3
02-14-2009, 06:47 PM
Dark hair is the main one. I've never been attracted to a blonde before.
Oh and I like nice eyes. :-)

Aaron Burr
02-14-2009, 07:08 PM
Dark hair is the main one. I've never been attracted to a blonde before.


You poor creature, I love the blonds!