J's get stressed easily

[bubbles]

So I was at this stress workshop, and most of the people there all appear to be J types (most of them seem INTJ...). We were all stressed-out goal-oriented people who "get things done." The psychologist who lead the workshop was probably INFP and emphasized not "judging" and stop thinking about goals every moment of our lives. So I was wondering, do J types get stressed out more easily? What about INTJs?

[Henry]

So I was at this stress workshop, and most of the people there all appear to be J types (most of them seem INTJ...). We were all stressed-out goal-oriented people who "get things done." The psychologist who lead the workshop was probably INFP and emphasized not "judging" and stop thinking about goals every moment of our lives. So I was wondering, do J types get stressed out more easily? What about INTJs?

I am very easily stressed out when people rush me. Otherwise...unless work is eating into my personal time I usually go have a drink, relax for 15 minutes, and come back.

[deicruxified]

So I was at this stress workshop, and most of the people there all appear to be J types (most of them seem INTJ...). We were all stressed-out goal-oriented people who "get things done." The psychologist who lead the workshop was probably INFP and emphasized not "judging" and stop thinking about goals every moment of our lives. So I was wondering, do J types get stressed out more easily? What about INTJs?

yes... deadline + perfectionist ego = stress. but i do something different now. i got my deadline a-z and categorize my workload. it's more of letting my n work more to aid my j. for instance i got a piece due on friday. i set the deadline thursday... i alot a time for either guitar or percussions let's say from 3pm - 5pm. 2.45 i stop to reflect stare at my guitar and drumset.. whatever i "feel" like playing in the first 1.5 hours, i play. it works for me and lessened the finals cramming shebang. i still cram of course since there are instances i extend. so for whatever extension i make, i skip either guitar or percussion then the next day i only play one instrument.

in most cases, when i cram and i really have to beat the deadline, i drink beer and it's all pure "n" just what happened when i finished my thesis however unfortunately, i got no idea what i wrote in there so i actually read the whole thing before my defense. hahaha

[Paul V]

I'm always rushing to complete my tasks and doing what I think I "have" to do. Damn right I'm stressed.

I'm currently trying to slow down, and approach my vacations with a calmed and relaxed state of mind. Otherwise, I'm not going to regain my energy by the time they're finished.

[rwyatt365]

My most stressful times come when I have lost something that I need, or when something that has worked before suddenly is not working. When I've lost, or misplaced something (especially when I feel that I know where I left it), that drives me nuts. And when I'm working a problem that I've done a thousand times and now it's not working, I can feel my blood pressure rising. Those things I can usually work off by cursing and stomping around for a little while. Once I've blown off some steam, I can function normally again.

My other biggest stressor is with irrational and incomprehensible (to me) people. When I can't communicate in a logical and reasonable manner with another person (as in, they get emotional and propose illogical arguments, or counter rationality with obfuscation) then it causes me a great deal of internal stress. This kind of stress is much harder for me to dispel. The only thing that seems to work is absence of the stressor and time.

[Rei]

I stress out when things go wrong.
The best explanation I can give is that I feel like the inefficiency of mistakes/problems are attacking me and I'm never going to get things perfect.

I know perfection is not realistic, but I truly wish it was... :undecided:
So I stress out whenever it gets too far from perfect.

[ps646566]

Yes, it stems partly from expectation of things going wrong, based on probabilities, past experience, and an ultra-realistic outlook. Then there are the times when things actually do go wrong, and one is unable, or limited in one's ability, to control events in order to get it sorted.

[Santana28]

i wouldn't say i neccesarily get stressed *easily* - its just that when i DO get stressed, its off the scale. Someone mentioned having to repeat yourself in another thread... thats one of my major irritants. I've trained myself pretty well at taking things easy and just dealing with things as they come... my problem is not getting stressed out by unforseen issues, but rather issues that i feel like i could have handled better or differently - i get paranoid and basically obsess over them until something else comes along. Usually i have to throw myself headfirst into something new just to stop stressing over it.

[robin.]

I used to classify myself as a very stressed person, specifically with school work. I still always think about what I have to get done, but since I've been in college, I just haven't felt that perpetual state of subdued panic I used to feel in high school. But I would say that in my "natural" form (before I started realizing that stressing TOO much is useless and began altering my stressing habits) I definitely got stressed easily.

I think part of the reason for this lies in the fact that I've realized that everything has always turned out okay in the past, so why not now? (I think that's a good way I can put my S to use.) Additionally, whether I get an A of a C on that quiz I'm worried about really won't matter 5 years down the line when I'm in grad school. And another reason certainly lies in how I've recently grown in my faith (I'm a Christian) and began just trusting God instead of myself all of the time.

[Diana]

As part of my major, I had to take a stress management class last year, and it I found it very helpful. Often now, when I'm starting to feel anxious, I can step back and analyze/identify why I'm feeling that way. (what more do we INTJs love more than analyzing?!) For example, sometimes I get anxious over upcoming assignments that I don't really know the nature of; I haven't spent time sitting down to figure out what all is expected or entailed in it. I can identify that it is the ambiguity of not knowing what I will have to do or how long it might take that seems is making me overwhelmed.
Likewise, thinking through the worst case scenarios also helps me to lessen stress. "So, yes, I did leave with spare time but I'm caught in a lot of traffic. So yes, I might walk in late. Oh well - this traffic is really out of my control. I'm sure I'll live through the experience of walking in late..." etc. Most of all, like robin said, trusting in God rests my mind. I will seek to do my best efforts in everything, but overall, I can never control everything. Realizing this and trusting Him takes an immense burden off my shoulders.

[The Many]

No, I never was particularly stressed, not even when I slept around 4 hours per night last year in school. I always had a back-up plan, and strangely enough I even seemed to get more things done the more I had to do. Others got stressed out all around me, whilst the quality of my work only increased all the time... of course, I did take the time to procrastinate and do other things than my work too, but I never really suffered from having a tight schedule.

[WavesSootheMe]

yes... deadline + perfectionist ego = stress.

I think that pretty much covers it. I pulled my first all-nighter on an extra credit project in fifth grade and they put me in a support group in eighth grade with some other girls that were "too hard on themselves" (but they didn't tell us what it was for). It's more before things go wrong that I stress out. Once they do I can at least go into fix-it mode (unless I'm too overwhelmed by the situation). I've mellowed out more and more as the years have gone by, but I am still a perfectionist in many ways. Traveling has taught me to just roll with the punches despite missing trains, getting lost and not having a place to sleep. I soak up every minute of vacation/holidays/travel days so that I'm well rested for work days. I also sigh now and again. I find it relaxes me. My old roommate thought it was hilarious.

[robin.]

No, I never was particularly stressed, not even when I slept around 4 hours per night last year in school. I always had a back-up plan, and strangely enough I even seemed to get more things done the more I had to do. Others got stressed out all around me, whilst the quality of my work only increased all the time... of course, I did take the time to procrastinate and do other things than my work too, but I never really suffered from having a tight schedule.
All of this sounds a lot like me, especially the bolded part. I pay very close attention to deadlines....and make sure that I leave myself plenty of procrastination time.:p I work much better under pressure, for the most part, and I always eventually get stuff done. (Except for that one time last year I handed in a math project 20 days late...I think that was the ONLY time I've ever just said "screw it" regarding a school assignment.)

I think that pretty much covers it. I pulled my first all-nighter on an extra credit project in fifth grade and they put me in a support group in eighth grade with some other girls that were "too hard on themselves" (but they didn't tell us what it was for). It's more before things go wrong that I stress out. Once they do I can at least go into fix-it mode (unless I'm too overwhelmed by the situation). I've mellowed out more and more as the years have gone by, but I am still a perfectionist in many ways. Traveling has taught me to just roll with the punches despite missing trains, getting lost and not having a place to sleep. I soak up every minute of vacation/holidays/travel days so that I'm well rested for work days. I also sigh now and again. I find it relaxes me. My old roommate thought it was hilarious.
YES! I've traveled quite a bit and, despite my love of schedules, I become very mellowed out at the airports. Well, I of course get there 3 hours early and quadruple check that I have everything I need, but I am the last one to get impatient and stressed when a plane is delayed an hour....or 18.

Also, working at a vet's office for three and a half years has certainly given me a better perspective when dealing with anyone in the service industry. I don't get stressed while I'm sitting in a waiting room anymore because now I know that there's a perfectly good reason for the delay.

[bubbles]

I'm always rushing to complete my tasks and doing what I think I "have" to do. Damn right I'm stressed.

I'm currently trying to slow down, and approach my vacations with a calmed and relaxed state of mind. Otherwise, I'm not going to regain my energy by the time they're finished.

I'm kind of in the same situation. I can't wait for winter break so I can take a break from school. I never noticed that I was stressed out before speaking with a counselor, though other people can see the stress in my face. She said that I was so accustomed to stress that I notice it. It's a long term built-up of stress that accumulates when I'm working hard and gets released during weekends and vacation when I just forget about everything.

[logan235711]

I've never been a stressful person under such pressures--so I'm a bit surprised to hear all of this from INTJs (esp. since you Ts are usually talking about being so emotionally stable ;P). I if I'm crunched for time I simply do the most necessary things I see fit and go from there--as long as we try our best there's not much else to be done.

[MichaelH]

Of course NTJs get stressed! We have a vision to fulfill! We're trying to make the world better! We have to push it in the direction it's supposed to go! It's not moving - why? It's supposed to go that way! Push harder!

Compare this to Ps: things just are. We'll deal with whatever when it comes. Sure, we'll panic then, but then it'll be over. Will it come again? There's no way to tell. We're not panicked now, so why worry? Just go with the flow, maaaaaaan....

It's true INTJs can often learn to relax, but a world full of Ps would go nowhere.

[mind_wander]

IF there is not enough time, then yes. There are times, I am in this mode, when everyone is typing like the world is coming to an end, when I sit back and chill out, then when time is almost up, then I started to type and put things back together, like its one piece of art. I do stress out, when others are fiercely typing, but I don't really. Plus, less people are in the room, so its gives you more personal space and dominate the room. Need paper? How about this? or that? No one is using it, great :)

[banzai]

I do not think stress is a byproduct as much as it is one of the biggest reasons we are the best at disaster recovery... taking everything into account is stressful, but that's the same reason we're good at handling things like that.

[Headstrong]

I'm stressed on pretty much a regular basis. When I was in elementary school, my mom set me up with the guidance couselors to try to reconsile my test anxiety. I was an avid speller and would spend countless hours studying, stressing, and crying over how to correctly spell these words. I had to be the best and win (the spelling bee). When I didn't, I had a meltdown. My mom eventually made me stop studying for them and I purposely had to disqualify myself from the preliminary rounds. It was the best thing she ever did. I'm sure I'd be a lot worse now with anxiety and stress in general now if it weren't for the counseling. The perfectionist is still in me, but I choose my battles.

[Diva]

Getting stressed easily is a problem of NTJs, esp. for those with a strong J. I get stressed out when working towards deadlines, and because of my perfectionism, I turn to be overly critical to myself and sometimes pushy to others. - with the goal of getting things done well and on time.
Under extreme stresses, i often change to an more introvert INTj.

[rwyatt365]

I'm stressed on pretty much a regular basis. When I was in elementary school, my mom set me up with the guidance couselors to try to reconsile my test anxiety. I was an avid speller and would spend countless hours studying, stressing, and crying over how to correctly spell these words. I had to be the best and win (the spelling bee). When I didn't, I had a meltdown. My mom eventually made me stop studying for them and I purposely had to disqualify myself from the preliminary rounds. It was the best thing she ever did. I'm sure I'd be a lot worse now with anxiety and stress in general now if it weren't for the counseling. The perfectionist is still in me, but I choose my battles.
This is interesting because I have never stressed over tests. It's not that I was necessarily an exemplary student, it's just that I had the mindset that "I know what I know". The result was that I was relaxed and calm when taking tests, and the outcome was typically good.

Even later in life when I was taking different certification tests for financial services (I got a life insurance license and several different securities licenses), I had the same attitude and passed them all on the first try. I'm studying for a PMP cert now and I'm approaching it the same way.

My motto – "Chill out and let it flow".

[mind_wander]

Getting stressed easily is a problem of NTJs, esp. for those with a strong J. I get stressed out when working towards deadlines, and because of my perfectionism, I turn to be overly critical to myself and sometimes pushy to others. - with the goal of getting things done well and on time.
Under extreme stresses, i often change to an more introvert INTj.
Interesting, "Under extreme stresses, I often changed to a more intervert INTJ." Really, never thought of that way. I do remember my ENTJ team partner, normally get back to me with alot of expectations and deadline on when the thing should be done. Dude, I am fine with that, make sure its all in the email. I gives the two big thumbs up, so that other team members would not get pissed off at me because I am not doing my job chasing after an ENTJ doing his fairshare of the pie.

[Solaris]

Getting stressed easily is a problem of NTJs, esp. for those with a strong J. I get stressed out when working towards deadlines, and because of my perfectionism, I turn to be overly critical to myself and sometimes pushy to others. - with the goal of getting things done well and on time.
Under extreme stresses, i often change to an more introvert INTj.

That's me sometimes too. However, I went through a year long period of extreme stress, and found I also have a shadowy INTP side when the stress becomes way too long and intense.

I don't stress all the time, but it's generally very apparent to those around me when I am it seems (I'm terrible at hiding things on my face).

I have the same perfectionism that most of you have -- it was at its worst when I was a musician in school. I always wanted everything perfect, and would practice repeatedly until I got it. Fortunately I did have a good bit of talent as well, or that would have been a lot worse.

I get stressed when somebody or something messes up the schedule I had planned, even if I didn't write it down. I always have timelines in my head for things. Even if I don't intend them, they are there.

[Diva]

That's me sometimes too. However, I went through a year long period of extreme stress, and found I also have a shadowy INTP side when the stress becomes way too long and intense.

I don't stress all the time, but it's generally very apparent to those around me when I am it seems (I'm terrible at hiding things on my face).

I have the same perfectionism that most of you have -- it was at its worst when I was a musician in school. I always wanted everything perfect, and would practice repeatedly until I got it. Fortunately I did have a good bit of talent as well, or that would have been a lot worse.

I get stressed when somebody or something messes up the schedule I had planned, even if I didn't write it down. I always have timelines in my head for things. Even if I don't intend them, they are there.

Solaris, I had the same feelings.
Have been doing a bit of research on "why ENTJ under stress can change to INTP or INTJ". Lately I have the answer.

Perhaps Ennaegram can explain it well. The first assumption is that most ENTJs are Ennaegram type 8 the challenger (or at least have the main type 8 features), and most INTPs or INTJs are from type 5 the thinker. Ennaegram has stated that under extreme pressure, type 8 can switch to type 5, and type 5 can switch to type 7 The enthusiast.

more info see:
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[Solaris]

Solaris, I had the same feelings.
Have been doing a bit of research on "why ENTJ under stress can change to INTP or INTJ". Lately I have the answer.

Perhaps Ennaegram can explain it well. The first assumption is that most ENTJs are Ennaegram type 8 the challenger (or at least have the main type 8 features), and most INTPs or INTJs are from type 5 the thinker. Ennaegram has stated that under extreme pressure, type 8 can switch to type 5, and type 5 can switch to type 7 The enthusiast.

more info see:
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Interesting. However, it doesn't really get into why that happens. I've never really fully understood enneagram because I haven't taken the time to bother mainly. Maybe I'll check it out more now.

[Diva]

Interesting. However, it doesn't really get into why that happens. I've never really fully understood enneagram because I haven't taken the time to bother mainly. Maybe I'll check it out more now.

As I know, MBTI is about how different types of people deal with things in life, Ennaegram is about motivations behind people's actions when coping with life.
I prefer Ennaegram, since it is related with intentions/ motivations. It makes me understand people at a deeper level.

[Solaris]

As I know, MBTI is about how different types of people deal with things in life, Ennaegram is about motivations behind people's actions when coping with life.
I prefer Ennaegram, since it is related with intentions/ motivations. It makes me understand people at a deeper level.


Hmm...maybe now that I am feeling like I have a good handle on MBTI, I can grasp Ennaegram better.

[danalaina]

I stress out when things go wrong.
The best explanation I can give is that I feel like the inefficiency of mistakes/problems are attacking me and I'm never going to get things perfect.

i think it's most frustrating to me when the idea is someone else's, i can spot the flaws up front and the flaws come to pass exactly as i anticipated.

when i was younger, i used to try to fix things before they could go wrong, but most people are so tenacious about their ideas that that doesn't often work...particularly when i'm so unwilling to play salesman.

now, unless something absolutely disastrous is going to happen without my intervention, i just try to let it go. i still stew about it in my head, though.

so, yeah, to answer the thread's question. i'm a bit of a stressmonkey, but it's more often due to other people's actions than my own.

[PortInStorm]

I do not think stress is a byproduct as much as it is one of the biggest reasons we are the best at disaster recovery... taking everything into account is stressful, but that's the same reason we're good at handling things like that.
That's so true. Sure people who allow things deterioration, collapse, and waste aren't stressed. Why should they be? We're not the only ones holding it together, but I find I pick up the slack for careless people all the time, and they wonder why I'm freaking out. Do they have any idea how many perspectives and issues we're taking into account? I also think because we manage less complicated situations well, that we either place ourselves or are placed in positions of more and more convolution. You know the saying "If you want something done, ask the busy man".

Last year I was preparing for graduate work, and was so incredibly stressed out, mean, bossy, and truculent that I knew I was probably doing myself some physical damage. Someone said that if it's not going your way you push harder- that was me, with all the resulting relationship garbage to boot! So I started taking St. John's Wort and Omega 3 (high EPA to DHA) to relax, and it's really worked. We'll see how the marks turn out though.

And as a quick aside, losing my stuff (rare) drives me insane too. Seriously aggravated.

[Solaris]

Anyone else get eye twitches when stressed? I have one right now.....and I'm about to go out of my mind over it. I hate eye twitches!! I want to jab my finger into my eye to teach it a lesson...only I don't have enough control to stop the nerve signal from reaching my brain that I've done this foolish thing. :irked:

[Danisty]

My stress rarely comes from actually working. I can easily get into my own world and do quite well. My stress always comes from dealing with people, especially people who are inefficient. I've left every job I've had due to the fact that the people I worked for and with refused to be efficient and actually expected me to learn how to be inefficient. One such employer expected me to work 14 hours a day for a week straight every month for basically no reason other than the fact that their system sucked. Any attempts on my part to improve the system were ignored and added to a secret list of reasons why they didn't like me. Part of that may be the job market in Savannah. Business owners here really don't care if they're wasting money or losing clients. They just want to do things their way. I'm hoping things will be better once we move, but honestly, I'm not holding my breath.

[Solaris]

My stress rarely comes from actually working. I can easily get into my own world and do quite well. My stress always comes from dealing with people, especially people who are inefficient. I've left every job I've had due to the fact that the people I worked for and with refused to be efficient and actually expected me to learn how to be inefficient. One such employer expected me to work 14 hours a day for a week straight every month for basically no reason other than the fact that their system sucked. Any attempts on my part to improve the system were ignored and added to a secret list of reasons why they didn't like me. Part of that may be the job market in Savannah. Business owners here really don't care if they're wasting money or losing clients. They just want to do things their way. I'm hoping things will be better once we move, but honestly, I'm not holding my breath.

Sounds like car sales.

[Ribcakes]

personally i hardly ever get stressed
if you met me you would be amazed at how apathetic i can be
the apathy keeps me from getting stressed at all

[Danisty]

Sounds like car sales.Accounting, actually. It's kind of funny how crunching the numbers doesn't bother me at all, but interacting with coworkers drives me mad. You would also think that an accounting department would appreciate efficiency. :rolleyes: