Dealing with beggers

[metaserve]

How do you interact with them? Do you oblige them? Blow them off, or compromise?

Me: I Find it hard to empathize with their situation; despite the obvious hardships they've faced, the fact that they want compensation for doing no work is so off-putting that I seldom give them any money/help. To say a homeless person on the street has no marketable skills seems impossible to me, they just have lost sight of these strengths they possess.

[Anreader]

I avoid eye contact and hurry on, hoping by some miracle Im invisible.

[Tyrant Soup]

Some of those dudes make $50K-60K tax free. I deal with them on a case to case basis, but it's difficult to decide who's really down and out and who's simply a hustler.

[Monte314]

A bunch of homeless guys are "regulars" at the McDonald's I have breakfast at... I've watched them for many months. Every once in a while, I'll give something to one of them... usually just share something from my tray (that can't get them into trouble like a couple of bucks might). It's a case-by-case deal.

A lot of these guys are mentally ill, by the way, not just lazy. Many really are unemployable.

[JoshuaFairtex]

They make me feel uncomfortable so I tend to ignore them or just say "no sorry".

[Rudy]

I try to keep some free food coupons for various places on hand, and hand those out on occasion, but only to those who have an obvious impairment.

[BostonIan]

I've gotten good at just looking them in the eye and saying no.

Sometimes, inexplicably, I'll reach into my pocket and give them a lot of money or food. I seem to like it when they have long stories: "My purse was stolen", "I'm a Katrina refugee", "I lost my bus pass and I need to get back to the suburbs before nightfall". It shows more initiative than just "spare some change?".

I slept at a homeless shelter and hung out with them. It seems to be that psychological problems and character deficiencies make them incapable of functioning normally. I kind of liked them.

[Sinequanon]

I used to work at a softball league at night while I was in school, and the softball thing basically turned into hobo entertainment. I basically got to know a lot of them very well (I was always at the same place and always near them); a lot of them seemed to have descended into a sort of "vagabond" culture and had little interest in being a part of regular society. There was also a lot of horrific addiction, to alcohol and other drugs. When I was on my days off, I would see a lot of them hanging out outside of liquor stores. We'd chat a bit and if I had a little change I'd give it to them (knowing exactly where it was going, of course), but on the whole, while I can sympathize with the circumstances, a lot of them don't really want/need your specific sympathy. I definitely have a lot more sympathy for the ones with kids or who genuinely want to do better. Those cases are really tragic. :\

[JoshuaFairtex]

You slept at a shelter? that's hilarious for some reason to me, care to share more of the back story?

[noueux]

... they just have lost sight of these strengths they possess.

"Lost sight" is putting it mildly. At least a third of homeless people in the US are mentally ill. Pair that with a lack of medication, basic health care, adequate shelter, and food, and that they don't recognize themselves as marketable workers is just slightly understandable. It isn't as if a homeless person can choose to begin working whenever she or he wants. When's the last time you went into a job interview with no legal residence and wearing the one shirt and pair of pants you own?

That said, I'm on a very limited income and thus would be an inconstant source of funding for a homeless person, so I'm more likely to give food or directions to the soup kitchen than cash. I try to volunteer when I can. But I don't think that giving 5 bucks to a guy on the street is going to solve the problem. (Where I live) I'd rather see my taxes going to fund programs to get homeless people medical care and work (instead of the generally popular legislation that cuts programs for the homeless and removes their services to unreachable locations).

[rahdam]

I make eye contact. I speak to them, even if only in passing. With warm, sympathetic, compassionate tones.
To ignore them is to dehumanize them, to disrespect them. They deserve the same treatment I give to others. If they speak to me, I will speak back, I will acknowledge their presence and their voice. The alternative is no alternative.
I have from time to time given cash, generally only when I am alone, and my friends and acquaintances are nowhere to be found. I know you can easily argue this is a bad idea, and if it makes me a fool, so be it.

[BostonIan]

You slept at a shelter? that's hilarious for some reason to me, care to share more of the back story?

I was backpacking across the country on the cheap, just a sack and a plastic tarp. I ended up in a small city, using the local library to find maps. That library was where the younger shelter-people localized through the day. The leader noticed my sack and tarp, he asked me if I needed a place to stay that night. The weather report was for hard cold rain, so I accepted, and was taken into the group for about a day and a half. Overall, it was kinda like camp.

[JoshuaFairtex]

I was backpacking across the country on the cheap, just a sack and a plastic tarp. I ended up in a small city, using the local library to find maps. That library was where the younger shelter-people localized through the day. The leader noticed my sack and tarp, he asked me if I needed a place to stay that night. The weather report was for hard cold rain, so I accepted, and was taken into the group for about a day and a half. Overall, it was kinda like camp.

That's actually really interesting, must have been a strange insight into the world of the homeless. Experiences like that are what make life interesting, I hope to find my own. :)

[LaoTzu]

"Lost sight" is putting it mildly. At least a third of homeless people in the US are mentally ill. Pair that with a lack of medication, basic health care, adequate shelter, and food, and that they don't recognize themselves as marketable workers is just slightly understandable.

Thank you. I was going to say it's almost half (studies vary...)

It depends on my mood. For me...it's just a couple of bucks. For them... It's much more (I stopped myself from saying life or death :P ). If I'm not lost in my own little world, I'll probably hook them up with something and tell them to take care of themselves.

If they look capable or lack some sense of 'desperation' ... I'll probably say sorry I'm out. I tend not to give younger people anything, and I once toyed with the idea of having some high school applications in my car's glove-box to hand out to panhandler's (who tend to be young).

I try to be courteous to whoever I meet regardless.

[Seppuku Savant]

I look right through them and walk away. Never engage.

[alphawolf]

If you want to see real professional con-artists and multitudes of beggars, go to India.

I never give them money, but I did keep a roll of low-value coins in my pocket as an escape mechanism. I thought that if I ever started to get surrounded by them, I would break open the roll and toss the coins up in the air about 5 meters away from me. Beggars scramble over there, fight over the coins, I get away... At least that was the theory.

[Nikita]

I don't ignore beggars. I am kind but not encouraging. I never give money, rather I just say that I don't carry cash. It's something I struggle with as there is very much a humanitarian side to me, but I've seen too much of the real world of beggars to let myself lose sight of their reality.

[ClydeB]

I do not go out of my way to make contact with beggars. But will talk to anyone who starts a conversation with me. Some of the folks that are angling for money come up with some inventive stories. And its interesting to hear them try to sell me on it. I never do give out money. But, I have offered to help them in non financial ways if it fits in with what they are telling me they need money for. Bus fare somewhere is the most common one I hear.

Surprisingly, I have only given someone a lift twice to where they needed to go out of all the times I have been asked over the years. Looks of shock or incomprehension are the usual answers to the "Hey, I'm going that way, would you like a lift there, right now?"

[rewhu]

I don't avoid eye contact but I won't stare people down either. I see several 'regulars' on my route to work and I'm convinced they are just out there hustling. I hardly ever carry cash but even if I did I wouldn't give them anything. If they say hello I'll greet them back and say 'have a nice day' or whatever, but that's about it.

Then there are the people who seem to have a mental illness that I'll see randomly downtown and in the surrounding neighborhoods. Very rarely do they ask anybody for anything. They usually look like they just want to be left alone. Those are the people that I feel bad for, but I still don't carry cash around so I don't give them anything either.

Instead I donate food, money and clothes to local organizations.

[zibber]

It's case-by-case for me, but I'll generally share if I have some change.

I'm not the "don't buy drugs, though" kind, though.. Heck, I've bought beer for dudes :laugh:

[IreOfDesire]

Some of those guys make more money than me. Should I feel compassion?
Every person chooses his own path in life. If it`s not a disease or something like that, I don`t care.

[SteveJrII]

I am not really in a place with a large homeless population so I do not come across them often, however whenever I do it is usually on a case-by-case, a lot of times I do not carry around money with me in general as I tend to not spend a lot.

[Hatsumomo1]

I lived in a place where I rarely ran into beggars. It was only when I came to Philly that I'd see them, but I haven't interacted with them. The first time one stopped my bf and I as we were walking down the street. I wasn't sure what to think, plus he seemed a little too charming as if he was trying to charm us into giving him stuff. It seemed a little fake. My bf gave him a couple of bucks and the beggar promptly went to a vendor and ordered a sandwich.

But, I'd say that if I were to run into that kind of opportunity, I most certainly won't be rude to them just because they're beggars. A lot of them really are struggling, mentally ill or what have you, and therefore cannot be "productive". Plus, if you were a business owner, would a guy in dirty clothes and a five-o-clock shadow be the first person you'd want to hire? Probably not.

Usually I don't carry cash on me, but I think I would give them pocket change if they had it. Whatever they do with it is not my business. I would rather give them food or water though, but I usually don't have that stuff on me all the time either. I just try to be civil and treat them like I would anyone else.

[Fox]

I tend to be a target for them. Maybe I have a kind face or look like a sucker. If I'm out with a group the bums always ask me for change. I don't give squat.

These people are either wasted, scram artist or crazy. Experts in town say you shouldn't give them money. If you feel the need to give them some thing. Give food.

[Frodis]

I say I don't carry cash - which is usually true. But dang, the beggars around here have gotten bold (and scary). Around Christmas, a woman pulled up in a car and blocked me from pulling out of my space in a mall parking lot. She came up to the window begging for gas money to get to her "community service" location. I figure, she's wasting gas by driving around the parking lot and jumping out of her running car, just to come bum "gas" money?? Please!

Frankly, these folks scare me. This mall is a known congregation point for gangs and other misc thugs. Although it's the closest one to my house, I will not be going back there. These thugs are not only annoying and dangerous, they're putting an entire mall out of business.

[zippikay]

I'll keep my motto:
give a person a fish, you will let that person eat fish
give a person a fishing rod, you will let that person to earn fish
give a person a fish for x amount of days consecutively, you will see that most people will comeback to you for fish every day

meh, some people are just plain too rude or annoying to earn my pity (if i have any)

[SeaCzar]

Fortunately, I have no exposure to these folks. The county I live in recently enacted a ban on these folks asking for money. They would work certain intersections, some earning more than USD 70K/yr. That is one Hell of an amount of money, and its tax free.

[boldbidder]

I'm a bit of a pushover, tend to give help when I can. I've given money or boxed up leftovers from a restaurant I might be carrying (in downtown Chicago they like to catch you leaving with to go boxes). I'm not sure if this is anti-INTJ, but I do know it comes straight from my father who I witnessed give lots of homeless people money/food as a kid, guess it kinda rubbed off on me.

The only time I can recall not giving someone money when I had some was a time where a donation taker for a church was at a stoplight going car to car. I'm a card carrying atheist, but I still give a couple dollars to these types of folks as well. So anyway, the guy comes up to my window takes a look at me and then my car and then says, "Today the Lord would like you give a donation of $20, young brother." I promptly rolled up my window and sped off.

[anamatria]

Depending on where I'm at when they are asking for money, I will buy them some food instead. If I have any smokes, I'll give them some cigarettes.

I feel more comfortable giving them things they can use versus straight up cash.

Either way, I hope that if I am ever in that type of situation that people will be sympathetic to me.

[Lucid]

I judge people based on how they treat beggars.
Regarding giving people what they 'deserve:' "Use every man after his desert and who shall escape whipping? Use them after your own honour and dignity; the less they deserve the more merit is in your bounty."

Also, while teaching a man how to fish is a noble idea, I wonder how well you'll do at it when he's screaming about the CIA installing listening divices in his teeth as he tries to remove them with pliers (the teeth that is, not the CIA). Or can either afford the medication for the spinal bifidia or rent.

That's not to say that we should give all our money or spare change to everyone who asks, but it's just not as clear cut as some people want to make it.

[une fille]

I used to feel terribly guilty when I passed someone asking for help.. I once brought a young mother (well, young, but probably five years older than me, at the time) and her toddler daughter to a Jack in the Box to get something to eat, but that's not the usual experience.. My friends met a group of homeless people who set them up with a crack dealer in return for cheap booze, and most homeless people in Houston are aggressive and demand your change if they see you pocket any after a purchase.

I was in Austin for a while as well, and was approached by an extremely attractive group of guys all with tattoos and guitars.... And they proceeded to ask for spare change. I said no, and they started digging in the trash cans nearby.. When I asked my friend whom I was staying with, his roommate informed me that a lot of the students at UT think it's "cool" to be homeless. Their definition of "homeless" is renting an apartment with their collective cash supply and getting their parents to pay their tuition.


So, I guess I'm biased towards those who seem in earnest need..

[Liquid]

If you want to see real professional con-artists and multitudes of beggars, go to India.

I never give them money, but I did keep a roll of low-value coins in my pocket as an escape mechanism. I thought that if I ever started to get surrounded by them, I would break open the roll and toss the coins up in the air about 5 meters away from me. Beggars scramble over there, fight over the coins, I get away... At least that was the theory.
I know what you mean. I once went to New Delhi, at first I was kind of sympathetic, and tried to be kind, but they were fucking persistent. By the end of the month I just totally ignored them, completely blocked them out. What am I supposed to do? 3/4ths of their population is poor. There's begging rings and crime rings every which way.

When I came back to Canada, I lost whatever sympathy I had for the beggars on our streets. Over there, if you're poor you'll almost never make it. Canada has opportunities and services what would be unimaginable to the poor over there.

Not to mention the street kids; the able bodied lazy 20 somethings who ask for money because they watched "My Own Private Idaho" too many times. Where's their dignity? They have none.

[Asinine]

I've learned only to give food or free food coupons to people that beg, at least initially. That seems to help weed out the crackheads, drunks, and career panhandlers from the people that actually do need a leg up to be useful.

[FreeFall]

I'll give once, but never twice to the regulars.

If I am in a rush, I just keep on moving or give them a look like I don't understand english. That one works good for me.

If I have left overs, I'll hand those over.

And as was stated earlier, a lot of these folks have been tossed from institutions after their funds ran out. Great, huhhhhhhhhhhhh

[Chain]

Most of the time I just tell them that I don't carry cash (rarely do). All of the one's here are addicts; which is why they aren't being helped by the systems in place. I'm living paycheck to paycheck and can't afford their next fix. Not to mention, give it to them, they'll remember you and they'll keep coming back (relatively small town).

That said, I've given rides and bought meals. Actually got robbed once giving a guy a lift. I've also given money when I had it and could afford it.

[Henry]

Some of those dudes make $50K-60K tax free. I deal with them on a case to case basis, but it's difficult to decide who's really down and out and who's simply a hustler.

Seriously? Where can I apply? :P

I give pocket change because I hate it and don't hate bums like a lot of people do.

But the geniuses here in Salt Lake City recently decided to move a homeless shelter 30 miles to the west. In the dead of winter. And so half the homeless refused to go and hang out at the library - which used to be my refuge from the crazy religulous. Instead, I'm now greeted with insane shouts and naked homeless people when I'm researching my book. So maybe I'll stop giving them change just as my little revenge.

[Lucid]

Seriously? Where can I apply? :P

I give pocket change because I hate it and don't hate bums like a lot of people do.

But the geniuses here in Salt Lake City recently decided to move a homeless shelter 30 miles to the west. In the dead of winter. And so half the homeless refused to go and hang out at the library - which used to be my refuge from the crazy religulous.

Well at least you'll be getting rid of a lot of pocket change.

On the downside though, I think the way a lot of cities treat the homeless is unfortunate. Here we were bussing them to other cities for the duration of the DNC. Unsightly to have a bunch of homeless walking around you know. Best to just dump them on someone else's door step. Hey, you probably got some of ours.

[Henry]

Well at least you'll be getting rid of a lot of pocket change.

On the downside though, I think the way a lot of cities treat the homeless is unfortunate. Here we were bussing them to other cities for the duration of the DNC. Unsightly to have a bunch of homeless walking around you know. Best to just dump them on someone else's door step. Hey, you probably got some of ours.

I don't mind looking at them. I do mind them urinating in the library. I do mind random torrets outbursts when I'm trying to focus. I do mind them bathing in the bathroom.s

[pure potential]

In these situations I prefer to buy a sandwich (or some type of similar nourishment/comfort) and give that to them rather than money. If such nourishment is not readily available, I'll always consider giving something. Since I never truly know what someone's been through or where they come from, I choose not to judge their condition. Instead I relate to them as a fellow brother and sister of this delicate human race and have compassion for their position.

Another positive of giving is that it is quite beneficial to the human psyche/spirit. Giving shouldn't primarily be for that benefit, however, that is and will be a personal result of your service. Plus, you can never really know where your kindness will go when you take the risk to put it out there. Believe it or not, your act of kindness and compassion could inspire the world..

[Sinequanon]

In these situations I prefer to buy a sandwich (or some type of similar nourishment/comfort) and give that to them rather than money. If such nourishment is not readily available, I'll always consider giving something. Since I never truly know what someone's been through or where they come from, I choose not to judge their condition. Instead I relate to them as a fellow brother and sister of this delicate human race and have compassion for their position.

Another positive of giving is that it is quite beneficial to the human psyche/spirit. Giving shouldn't primarily be for that benefit, however, that is and will be a personal result of your service. Plus, you can never really know where your kindness will go when you take the risk to put it out there. Believe it or not, your act of kindness and compassion could inspire the world..
I hear what you're saying. I actually tried to do that a couple of times. The ones who I knew well (and who knew me well) were up front that they just wanted money for beer, though. What would you do in that situation?

[pure potential]

Very true! However, that's not where my intention lies. They may want beer, but my concern is to provide them with a source of sustainable nourishment.





pure potential added to this post, 0 minutes and 55 seconds later...

And yes, some have actually thrown my offerings on the ground in disgust. Then again, that's not my concern..

[Lucid]

I don't mind looking at them. I do mind them urinating in the library. I do mind random torrets outbursts when I'm trying to focus. I do mind them bathing in the bathroom.s

I almost suggested that it's better than them not bathing in the bathrooms. Then thought about it more seriously and reconsidered.
I'm shocked it's such a huge problem in SLC and that they do things like urinate and bathe in the library. While I've seen that kind of thing here in Denver, it hasn't ever been in the library.

[Snowdragon]

For the beggars at the Wal-Mart entrance, I just walk by them.

[Karamazov]

Case by case, for me. They will be there today, tomorrow and the next day. They'll always be there, so I'll acknowledge them and give spare change when I can, though not always. I only give because I can afford to.

I don't always expect others to live up to my standards, because mine are fairly high and not something everyone can fulfill. Some people can rise above their circumstances; some can't, and then again, some don't want to. It's a reality, and it won't go away by ignoring it.

[Cyr]

Case by case but I generally don't give them cash as they may use it for the wrong reasons which do maintain them in their current situation. Sharing some food seems a much better option to me but it never happens as homeless people are quickly thrown out of sight pretty much everywhere I go to get some food.

That said, I try to be kind with them by not ignoring them, smiling, wishing them a great day, etc., in other words I try to treat them as anybody else. Most of them seem to appreciate this attention.

[imNormal]

I work in an office in a city known for panhandlers. I sometimes go for a walk at lunch and I've actually stopped and talked to a couple of panhandlers at different times. I was curious what led them to being on the street. In one case, it was a criminal record & drug addiction, in the other case the fellow (about 20 years old) said he dropped out of school, got himself a criminal record (pure stupidity, as he put it) and now he can't even get a job cutting lawns or cleaning offices because he's not bondable. While I was sitting there talking with him, he politely asked a business woman that had just walked by if she could spare some change. She turned around, came back and shouted at me to "get a job you lazy bum!!!". Interesting. I didn't think my clothes were that bad, but I threw them out when I got home that evening!

I tend to give them money. How they use it is up to them. I've also bought them sandwiches if a shop was close by. People have helped me out when I needed it. The circumstances may be a little different, but the fact is, in this economy, there will be a large number of people joining these folks on the street that never would have thought they would wind up homeless. I try not to be to philosophical about it, but I do believe what goes around, comes around.

[HeyZeus]

I would like to see the government make helping the homeless the responsibility of casinos. One group needs help, but is not necessarily reliable. The other group intakes massive amounts of dispensible money, and banks it. The homeless would probably be willing to put on some spontaneous entertainments in return, and would not have to do anything they did not want to do. The casinos would have to feed them and provide some medical care as part of their licensing. I do not have a solution on where they would sleep, or whether they could be denied a meal for harrassing the paying customers--I'm just the idea man. Nothing dangerous unless they sign witnessed release forms!

This may sound cruel, but sociologically it would be fascinating. Homeless reality TV like the Homeless Real World, but unlike fake reality TV, the producers of this show would not intervene or try to drive behaviors.

You may think it would be terribly exhibitionist to open this door, but right now, in your city, there are things going on that you are oblivious to, that if you observed them would punch you right in the gut.

The underlying ethical question: is it better for homeless to be hungry, cold, out-of-sight and out-of-mind? Or fed, warm, and perhaps exploited? What is more humane in the context of THEIR freedom of choice to an offer to participate in such a program? How would the general public respond to a show that gave you a real glimpse into the life and struggles of homeless people?