DEATH - your reaction to the reality

[loosefanbelt]

Polling: When you are approached with the topic of death in social conversation, what is likely to be your reaction?

[Sliderule]

Como esta el pole? El pole no aqui.

See that wasn't a waste of two years after all.





Sliderule added to this post, 12 minutes and 57 seconds later...

Ahh gracias!

[Chronos]

I picked the first one. This should be a multiple-choice poll though. I don't always shut down, but I really, really don't like the subject.

[Rudy]

Philosophical, generally.

"When I am, death is not. When death is, I am not. Why should I fear that which cannot exist with that which is me?"

Or

"I was dead for billions of years before I was born, and never suffered the slightest inconvenience."

Death used to bother me a lot, but it really doesn't anymore. Dying can be a frightening thought, but not being dead. Still, I do not bring the topic up myself if I can help it, as I know it bothers most people.

[daydreamer]

i am curious about the other person's thoughts. death doesn't scare me. the idea of being pain does, however, and i'm sensitive to the idea of people, or animals, experiencing a great deal of pain before or during death. i like to hear about people's beliefs, and i don't mind comforting someone if something heavy is bothering them (unless it's their favorite subject, then that can get a little old.) i'm pretty open-minded to whatever they want to say, but i won't always share what i think.

[dalidaisy]

That's a lot of choices. I usually remain apathetic about the topic, but enjoy hearing other people's thoughts on it. I hardly ever add my own. Most people just stare in amazement when I talk about death. But, watching people become overly emotional can sometimes be amusing. I am hardly ever sympathetic, I just don't know how to be. When I try to be comforting, it seems forced & it's awkward. If the topic comes up & someone is particularly looking for that sympathy, it makes me uneasy & I feel the urge to get out of the situation as soon as possible.

[Clockwork]

Being bored...

The question always seems to come down to "What do you think happens after you die?" Well... nobody can know unless they've died, and I haven't heard the dead talking recently. Don't pull that "There have been people who have died and come back!" line on me, plzkthx.

To me, it's like having a conversation concerning the topic of "Imagine there is a mysterious box in an empty room, what do you think is in the box?" It may be amusing for a minute or two if people are creative or are trying to be funny, but if it gets to be a serious conversation it's just draining because it's so detached from reason.

I always liked the answer that Ayn Rand gave. Someone asked her "What do you think will happen to you after you die?" to which she replied "I assume I'll be buried."

[WaeV]

Welcome the topic.

We talk about EVERYTHING on the schoolbus.

[une fille]

It use to bum me out as a kid, but these days, I just exercise my morbid sense of humor. If someone is being serious or philosophical and I respect his/her mind, then I'll probably enjoy the conversation and share my thoughts or argue whichever point I feel like throwing out there, but I tend to be surrounded by the, "When I die, I'm going to Heaven and that's that!" sort, and that gets horribly boring.

[Anreader]

I avoid death as a topic because other people act horrified by my response which typically is so what? Its inevitable. Get over it. When elderly relatives die I kind of think its laughable when people say things like, "He was so young!" Really, 85 is young now? My great-grandmother died 2 years ago from Alzheimer's disease. There are much worse things than death.

[noueux]

Usually it annoys the crap out of me. Because all I see is the "Oh, woe is me, my grandfather has died! I never expected that it would happen, ever! Feel so sorry for me because I have to deal with The Death!"

I guess because there's an implicit implication in that sympathy-seeking attitude that "Oh my goodness! No one has ever suffered as much as me! I am as deep as the ocean! I am surrounded by The Death!", and what the hell do they know about my experiences with death? I internalize, and I don't necessarily think that's healthy, and I try to understand that everyone grieves differently, and for some, the social display can be cathartic (I guess?) but I still feel an amount of resentment over it.

This actually confuses me quite a bit.

[Monte314]

As an Elder in my church, I must disucss this with people relatively often... sometimes under very difficult circumstances. I even did a funeral once myself.

Because I believe death to be a defeated foe, I do not fear my own death. It is merely "the end of a beginning that will have no end".

[Kisai]

I'm kind of bored with the subject. It's been done to death (hah).

Basically nobody knows whats going to happen. Either my consciousness will be in another body, or there'll be nothing. Either way I can't do anything about it. Everyone does it and almost everyone who ever lived has died.

[loosefanbelt]

I picked the first one. This should be a multiple-choice poll though. I don't always shut down, but I really, really don't like the subject.

Is there a way to make it multiple choice? I am a newbie at this...

[BostonIan]

I'd make a joke, if only because the deeper, more philosophical stuff is as uncomfortable to other people as death.

I think that men, including me, are expendable. We're the soldier ant sex, and I'd rather die young defending, fighting, or doing some dangerous job than die old never having risked my life. At the same time, I don't bungee jump or scuba dive because those would be dumb ways to die.

Big picture: it's not how many pages in the book that makes a story good, and an over-long book isn't inherently more enjoyable to read.

[Aldanga]

First off, there are way too many choices to get any sort of accurate reading from the boards' population. [/tc]

Anyway, I just talk about it. Why not? Death is a part of life, whether you believe in the afterlife or not.

[loosefanbelt]

First off, there are way too many choices to get any sort of accurate reading from the boards' population. [/tc]

Anyway, I just talk about it. Why not? Death is a part of life, whether you believe in the afterlife or not.


Help me construct a better one... I just wanted to give a lot of possible reactions. Anyone can give input, please...

[Tranquillity]

Being bored for me.

I do not understand why people are afraid of death. I don't see what the big deal is. Although I know people who are afraid of death tend to live a more fulfilled life because the appreciation of death makes them value life more.

[randuincanus]

Curious about others thoughts. Our society avoids the subject, so if someone is bringing it up, there is usually a reason...

[auriga vega]

How about indifferent?
I picked "being bored" because there is no "indifferent".

[Aldanga]

Help me construct a better one... I just wanted to give a lot of possible reactions. Anyone can give input, please...

Well, let me filter through the options and see what I can come up with.

*edit*

How're these?


Shutting Down
Changing the Subject
Wanting to Explore the Philosophies of Death
Annoyed
Bored

[SeaCzar]

Death is very much a part of life. Having buried both parents in the last five years, what they suffered through to get to death was much worse than the actual event. In the end, it was a relief, although I have to continually remind myself of that. This is by no means an easy subject. I would think that the ultimate nightmare has to be the death of a child.

[Tranquillity]

How about indifferent?
I picked "being bored" because there is no "indifferent".

yep, that would be better description. Indifference is probably my second default emotion after curiosity.

[MaleVolentworld]

I remember one time at primary school there was one boy that used to cry because he didn't want to die. Then whenever I thought about it as a kid I was the same, I didn't want to die.

It's not the end that is sad, from the perspective of the self, because I was not sad before I was born. But the idea of not being able to do something that you want to do in life, being cut short by death, is what makes you sad, while you are alive of course.

Then I grew up and at times I preferred death over life, and tried to sleep with the worms once, but failed, which was fortunate since I've had some great moments in life since then.

You shouldn't be afraid of death like you shouldn't be afraid of life before you was born, because you won't know or feel anything since you no longer exist. But, if you have a terminal illness and you still want to achieve things in life then of course you will be upset during life at times, knowing that you will never experience that thing.

From the perspective of loved one's dying, that hurts. From the perspective of strangers dying in famine and war and murders etc etc, then it is just a fact of life and I have no emotional attachment to it really.

[Antares]

I talk about it as though it was everyday business. After all, it is everyday business and in the end, just another subject. No need to get heightened or flighty about it.

[zibber]

Needing to be philosophical. Well, philosophical. Shit, just interested.

[Freedom Geek]

I talk about how science may in the coming years greatly reduce one's chances of doing so.

[Nikita]

Heightened Interest - I find the topic fascinating. I'm usually the one who brings it to the scary place for others. What is there to fear? It's not like you can control the reality of death. It is going to happen one day in some way. Accept it. Deal with it. Get the hell over it and get on with life already.

[match3frog]

Polling: When you are approached with the topic of death in social conversation, what is likely to be your reaction?

Death doesn't scare me. I know where I'm going when I die.

[Sesquipedalian]

Death doesn't scare me. I know where I'm going when I die.
Same.

As varied as your choices are (and I can tell you put some thought into them), I can't make a choice because this is such a "depends" type of situation. Had you given me a scenario, I could've chosen one, but there are so many different scenarios that I would respond differently to..

...death itself? It has no power over me. I do not fear death.
...the topic of death? I can discuss it just as objectively as any other topic. It doesn't bother me in the least.
...death in the family? Well, I have yet to have a single death in my close family. And, since I'm really private, and my grandparents live very far away, I don't consider myself close to them. I love most of them (one is an old, bitter alcoholic that traumatized my mom, so while I loved him as a child and have wanted to see him turn around for years, it's gotten to the point that he just disgusts me as a human being as sad as that sounds...). If any of them were to die I honestly don't think I'd be upset. It would undoubtedly upset my parents, which would affect me for a short time, but it wouldn't have any lasting effects on me.
...if my parents/siblings die? Well, I'm not sure how I'd feel. It'd have a massive impact on me at this point in my life since I still live with them. Later, it would still have a major impact on me since my relationships with my family members are deep and meaningful.

I have no problem joking about death or things related to death.