Working with INFP's

[JohnDoe]

At the chance of starting a thread that is just between wotsamattaU and I, let me ask the following question: how exactly do IN*J's and INFP's work together and not kill each other. Specifically there seems to be this trait of INFP's to constantly reevaluate which can be a problem when stuff actually has to get done. I've gotten in some truly big arguments with some INFP's over their tendency to change their mind after work has already started, sometimes at the costs of discarding hundreds of hours of work for questionable if existant gains. Anyone got some tips for working with people like this (INFP's)?

Edit: If this wasn't clear this is a question about INFP's as coworker or boss.

[AnotherNormal]

This reminds me of a contract I had with a well know large company.

In certain areas what you are talking about was allowed. I was amazed, seems very inefficient and a waste of time, money and effort. Why not do some planning upfront, think it through !

Have a meeting and lay it out, help them "see" the big picture. This is the way it is with anything from building software, a building, an aircraft carrier - the planning / design goes in up front.

[Sinequanon]

The INFPs I know wouldn't want to be in the position to make those decisions, foreseeing a train wreck...

[JohnDoe]

Well I mean the problem is sometimes there is a big meeting and there are decisions made.. and then the INFP still goes and changes everything after the project is almost done. I was hoping maybe an INFP might give us some ideas on how to try to prevent this... :)

[Sliderule]

Working with INFP

It's generally best not to, if you can avoid it. Especially in fast paced high stress environments; based on my experience which is firsthand and singular (infp that is).

[wotsamattaU]

(quietly pads over )

You called?

At the chance of starting a thread that is just between wotsamattaU and I, let me ask the following question: how exactly do IN*J's and INFP's work together and not kill each other.

Wot are you talking about? We work seamlessly together! Seamlessly I tell you!

I have not run in to this in the workplace, seriously. Is it just one person in particular you are thinking of?

Maybe it's just them, and not type?





wotsamattaU added to this post, 5 minutes and 42 seconds later...

The INFPs I know wouldn't want to be in the position to make those decisions, foreseeing a train wreck...

INFP's like to avoid train wrecks if we can.

Why I recall a very close call with an INTJ once...anyone in the room could see that train wreck a comin'...

gazes locked
hands trembling
hearts pounding
energy crackling

Very intense business, that.

[JohnDoe]

Its plausible that its not the type. It does however fit the stereotype of the type :P (And by this I mean there is very much a P stereotype of liking to keep options open). I think everyone likes to avoid train wrecks.. Unfortunately it doesn't always work and sometimes big fireballs result. At the end the day you and I tend to agree on the things that matter but getting to the end of the day sometimes .. comes with wildly diverging ways of seeing the world, so, I'm at least curious if part of the risk of fireballs comes from J/P incompatibilities, especially if there is a power differential.

[Sinequanon]

(quietly pads over )

You called?



Wot are you talking about? We work seamlessly together! Seamlessly I tell you!

I have not run in to this in the workplace, seriously. Is it just one person in particular you are thinking of?

Maybe it's just them, and not type?





wotsamattaU added to this post, 5 minutes and 42 seconds later...



INFP's like to avoid train wrecks if we can.

Why I recall a very close call with an INTJ once...anyone in the room could see that train wreck a comin'...

gazes locked
hands trembling
hearts pounding
energy crackling

Very intense business, that.
Hmmmm...

I love, admire and cherish INFPs.

But I'd never want one as my boss, or the lead on a project, or outside of a conceptual role. Ultimately, I think it would make everyone involved happier.

My favorite person in the world (I'm being quite deliberate in case she reads this board :laugh:) wants to open a school, which is extremely admirable. But I get the sense that if she did, she would need a team of people who would take over the work of building/conceptualizing it -- what's important is the big picture, but she will need other people to go about implementing that big picture.

I guess what I'm saying is I can see JohnDoe's issue, and I admire that many mature INFPs seem to acknowledge that their strengths do not lie in organization or "bossing". I do have sympathy for the ones who suddenly find themselves in positions of power that they don't want, though.

[Pandemonium]

Working with INFP infuriates me. Most of them I have worked with somehow have concluded that I share the same cognitive processes as themselves. Their delusional conclusions have created many annoyances. They are illogical. too emotive and incapable of initiative or any initiative that was productive (based of a sample of twelve people). In my work and uni projects I accommodate for all types of people but this type along with ISFP need more than others require more attention. Always needed to be consoled that they are doing the right thing, being appreciated and that I am not upset with them.

Great types to work with are ISTJ, INTP, INTJ, INFJ ,ENFP, ENFJ and ENTP. Occasionally ENTJ are good to work with if they are confident and competent leaders.

[curiousjane]

I would like to cautiously point out a few things:

1) You're right. Keeping options open for too long is not only inefficient, but also often counter-productive.
2) But sometimes options NEED to be re-evaluated in the name of excellence.
3) Don't confuse Fi with weakness. Fi is a blessing and a curse to us. It helps and hurts us. However, in a business environment, what you are probably coming across is an INFP who has not fully put on his/her ESTJ "business suit". I.e. ... someone who still feels that conflict is always bad and that everyone needs to be happy so he or she is not the target of undue amounts of criticism and irritation. Fi can come in handy ... we can get the collective sense of what people AREN'T saying in a meeting pretty quickly. If we're smart, we'll use this to our advantage.
4) Te. Everyone forgets about Te. Though at our heart of hearts we are Fi-driven, we aren't stupid about it. And while Ne jumps around and makes all the connections we need to conceptualize and brainstorm ... Te is when we roll our sleeves up and GET TO WORK. It's actually possible! I think perhaps the best way to connect with an INFP co-worker in a way that is productive is to purposefully gear the conversation so that Te is activated. In some ways, we're like INTJs ... always looking for a system that works. If this is first and foremost in mind, and we feel (yes feel, sorry!) safe expressing commands or being proactive, we are excellent at planning a project timeline based on true time demands (i.e. we'll ask everyone how long to expect it to take-and actually LISTEN). In fact, maybe it is just me, but I frequently question in meetings ... how long will that take? Do we have the time? Is this the best way to do it? ... but once things are under way, I understand that ... JUST DO IT. The time for probing questions is prior to action, in my opinion. After that, get the job done quickly, efficiently, and well. Maybe I'm just an oddball INFP, though.

Hope this helps.

[wotsamattaU]

I've gotten in some truly big arguments with some INFP's over their tendency to change their mind after work has already started, sometimes at the costs of discarding hundreds of hours of work for questionable if existant gains.

This makes me question the motivation behind this.

Is there a jockeying for position going on?
Does the person have a need to stand out by making their mark on a project?
Is this something this person is greatly invested in the outcome - i.e. a pet project?

If they truly believe their way is the better way of doing it, this could tie in with their values and ethics.

It sounds as if the co-worker or boss is personally vested in the project for some reason.

Are there raises or promotions, competition for something at stake?

Looking at it from another angle, could this person be overwhelmed, stressed out and unable to pull back to view the entirety?

I have never met an INFP who felt the need to Control anything other than the product of their own work. We are perfectionists.

What CJ detailed is pretty accurate for me as well. I just 'git r done'.

[Skye]

Hi there,

My current (senior) co-worker/boss is an INFP (I'm guessing tho).
Trying to put my experience into context, here we go:

FYI, I do think we're a great team - but I do feel frustrated at times he seems to be scattering his (and my!) energies, raising many questions and issues along the way. He does follow through and delivers, mostly. I think usually he does the work AFTER first getting a feel for a 'general consensus' on the raised issues. IF no one else picks this up and he still feels its important THEN he will do this follow-through himself and he does so brilliantly.

Re-evaluating what we SHOULD be working on currently seems to be a daily theme for some considerable part of the day ;-) however, this is a chaotic environment we are working in, so probably not a bad thing in our situation.

[Antares]

Most of them I have worked with somehow have concluded that I share the same cognitive processes as themselves.

This, I can relate to. More than one INFP have expressed to me (or even describe in detail) how alike we are (of course, none of them are that acquainted with MBTI, so they didn't use MB terminology, per se). Our cores, NT and NF, makes us look very similar, but I found that in conversations with INFPs, both of us are open enough to the other view that we don't find the T-F conflict really relevant at all, nor is the J-P difference really relevant in conversations.