What does sex mean to you?

[Insight]

Exploiting the relative anonymity of a forum and the wonderful abundance of individuals who think in ways similar to mine, I'd love to put this question out here.

It's one that I ask of my acquaintances when I believe that we're due to call each other friends. It's a question that is usually met with mixtures of amusement and bemusement from the less introspective, even when the question is built up to. These people offer such profundities as, "I like it. It feels good."

But we have a capacity to create meaning for ourselves, and discovering that personal meaning is extraordinarily compelling to me.

Far be it from me to pose the question without contributing myself - something I believe many INTJs are skilled at doing! I'll offer up my two cents first:

Sex is a celebration of my values, to the extent that my partner personifies them, and of my ability to attain those values, as they reside in my partner. I've tried casual stuff before, with women I did not truly respect and admire. It felt fake, and I wondered why for years until I realized that I was trying to celebrate values that were not there.

It's a time to express respect/admiration/love. Yet it's also a time to utterly dominate someone, to produce "passive extraversion" and thus have a woman respond to me at will :-D

[alphawolf]

It's a time to relieve all of your pent-up frustrations with a person whom their is mutual trust and understanding. So you can both be relieved and feel frustration free, behave normally when you are going about your daily business.

This is the purpose of sexual intimacy in my opinion - I show you my deepest frustrations and needs, and you don't try to judge me, I don't try to judge you. Share the reality and relieve each other, with trust that neither will betray the other in these matters. That is where caring comes in. Someone who cares about you won't betray you or exploit the knowledge they have gained with you in the sack.

This is bonding. This is understanding. This meeting each other's most primal needs.

When it's time to smile and love you, I'll hold your hand and take you for a walk in the sun.

Be with someone you can trust and value their morals, someone who has morals, someone who shows you that they care. When you desire the devil, you'll certainly get her.

.

[Zombicide]

Living vicariously through someone I love is basically what makes it most appealing to me i.e. it's one of the few things that can seem spiritual or telepathic even, (especially with fluid exchange, it seems conductive, though it isn't), trying to make her (or if you're really lucky, them:) feel happiest, yuh know, the whole being one with them and all that allegedly lame stuff. . .. It seems like connecting with the other person on a profound level. I cannot personally comprehend the casual sex thing, it sounds grotesque (granted I have been drunk a number of times and well). . .anyway, none of it feels right. I do not understand the fetishists or any of it. I think I'm nearly one of the asexuals because of the way others view sex, I mean, it defeats the purpose if the other person doesn't see it remotely the same way, everybody else wants whips and anal and to be dominated and choked and watch rape porn and tentacles and toddlercons and pregnant toddlercons and double penetration and a slice of bukkake and big fake tits and feet and defecation and what not, it's confusing and there's just not much point in doing sex when I'm not drunk if that's how she likes it, and apparently everyone else does. I don't know man, I mean, I don't want to take a dump in any body's mouth or at least not for sex. I don't know, what gets other people off just creeps me out. Plus it feels kinda gay because it feels like she's suffused with the essence of every guy she's done it with but not gay in the good way like with effeminate Japanese singer Hyde (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.) gay, so much as having sex with a dude gay. . .This subject is always so awkward because of the way other people view it like "I don't care, it's just sex, I just want to do it and I hate when people love, ew, pathetic, when I'm done, I want them to get off of me". Sex can seem damn near morbid but whatever. That was too weird. . .yeah, likely never gonna talk about this in any thread ever again lol. . .

[Freedom Geek]

It is a biological process which has evolved in order to create more biological beings.

[Rachel45]

Expression of the animal within me-only to be experienced with someone I trust and who trusts me enough to LET GO....

[True Rune]

It's the action of humans enslaved by their own bodies.

[OneHertz]

I like it. It feels good. lol...

Intercourse itself doesn't mean anything. It's just something to do. Like playing tennis.

[Tigress]

Obviously there is the pleasure part, which is just a bonus for me. I like the closeness and intimacy it gives me and my longterm boyfriend.

[Kisai]

It's like a ride on a theme park! :)

[changos]

Mutual exploration of the "animal" side
Mutual satisfaction of the naughty side
A time to get instant feedback from my girl reacting to my effort of making her juuusst fine.
A intimate moment where there is nothing else to give but yourself
A delicate and dangerous time to show how much you care and KNOW each other...
A great moment to play and fool around... relax... no need for tv or anyone else...
A nice moment to express to my girl that I care about HER, even as time goes by and the body changes.
A moment to let her know shes allowed to stay close, really close to me.

and some other stuff.. :)

[Vagrant]

It's showing your animal side to somebody close to you.

[Chain]

It's how I get my emotional fulfillment.

Living vicariously through someone I love is basically what makes it most appealing to me i.e. it's one of the few things that can seem spiritual or telepathic even, (especially with fluid exchange, it seems conductive, though it isn't), trying to make her (or if you're really lucky, them:) feel happiest, yuh know, the whole being one with them and all that allegedly lame stuff. . .. It seems like connecting with the other person on a profound level. I cannot personally comprehend the casual sex thing, it sounds grotesque (granted I have been drunk a number of times and well). . .anyway, none of it feels right. I do not understand the fetishists or any of it. I think I'm nearly one of the asexuals because of the way others view sex, I mean, it defeats the purpose if the other person doesn't see it remotely the same way, everybody else wants whips and anal and to be dominated and choked and watch rape porn and tentacles and toddlercons and pregnant toddlercons and double penetration and a slice of bukkake and big fake tits and feet and defecation and what not, it's confusing and there's just not much point in doing sex when I'm not drunk if that's how she likes it, and apparently everyone else does. I don't know man, I mean, I don't want to take a dump in any body's mouth or at least not for sex. I don't know, what gets other people off just creeps me out. Plus it feels kinda gay because it feels like she's suffused with the essence of every guy she's done it with but not gay in the good way like with effeminate Japanese singer gay, so much as having sex with a dude gay. . .This subject is always so awkward because of the way other people view it like "I don't care, it's just sex, I just want to do it and I hate when people love, ew, pathetic, when I'm done, I want them to get off of me". Sex can seem damn near morbid but whatever. That was too weird. . .yeah, likely never gonna talk about this in any thread ever again lol. . .

Coming from a Sadist... Most people aren't really into as much as you think. More or less, it's just that the general population has decided that BDSM and fetishes are the current cultural fad.

[ChristopherL]

Exploiting the relative anonymity of a forum and the wonderful abundance of individuals who think in ways similar to mine, I'd love to put this question out here.

It's one that I ask of my acquaintances when I believe that we're due to call each other friends. It's a question that is usually met with mixtures of amusement and bemusement from the less introspective, even when the question is built up to. These people offer such profundities as, "I like it. It feels good."

But we have a capacity to create meaning for ourselves, and discovering that personal meaning is extraordinarily compelling to me.

Far be it from me to pose the question without contributing myself - something I believe many INTJs are skilled at doing! I'll offer up my two cents first:

Sex is a celebration of my values, to the extent that my partner personifies them, and of my ability to attain those values, as they reside in my partner. I've tried casual stuff before, with women I did not truly respect and admire. It felt fake, and I wondered why for years until I realized that I was trying to celebrate values that were not there.

It's a time to express respect/admiration/love. Yet it's also a time to utterly dominate someone, to produce "passive extraversion" and thus have a woman respond to me at will :-D
Sex is a biological need that we all have that happens to feel really good.
That is not mutually exclusive to the fact that it also serves to bring people closer together.

So sex can be a fun passtime with a friend or it can be a catalyst for broadening a relationship.

[Tempest]

Sex is something I do to satisfy whomever I'm with. I used to enjoy sex, but recently I've been turned off of the whole thing due to several bad relationships. Now it's just something that I pretend to enjoy and try to get over with as quickly as possible. Maybe my attitude will change if I ever meet someone who isn't terrible in bed, but for now I'm borderline asexual. Depressing, I know.

[ToC]

It's an art form, stress reliever, at times something to eat, a calorie burner, protein waster, and perfect opportunity to boost or destroy your immune system depending on what you catch.

[Krazy P]

I am actually of many minds on this subject.

It can be a spiritual event. I think of it that way often.

It can also be an act that celebrates the triumph of human civilization over the forces of an uncertain and unknowable world.

It can be an act that solidifies the nurturing values of a community or tribe.

It can be a specie-level event that connects one to the natural world in a way that no other act can.

It can be a consciousness building event that binds one forever to another soul.

It can also be a crime, an evil act.

In all these cases, there is no question it is a very powerful act. I think of it as powerful magic - a beginning, an unleashing of the strong forces of nature.

I try to be careful with powerful things.

They can kill, maim, destroy lives. They can also create, restore and create life.

[intjdude]

What does sex mean to you?

"Horny dog wants to poke her"

it's not fancy, but it is what it is

[Vagrant]

Sex is something I do to satisfy whomever I'm with. I used to enjoy sex, but recently I've been turned off of the whole thing due to several bad relationships. Now it's just something that I pretend to enjoy and try to get over with as quickly as possible. Maybe my attitude will change if I ever meet someone who isn't terrible in bed, but for now I'm borderline asexual. Depressing, I know.

Find an INTJ male "friend with benefits" -- then you'll find somebody who isn't terrible in bed. :D

[Aesthesis]

A deeper physical connection (pun!) to compound a deeper emotional connection.

That's in the context of a relationship.