Of What Do You Make Of Your Birthday?

[IgnoranceIsKind]

My birthday is approaching and I don't know what to think of it. One year ago during this period, I resolved to spend it alone since I couldn't be sure if my 'friends' were really my friends at all. Yet despite how comfortable I was with myself last year, today I was implored to question my own actions.

Are birthdays really that big a deal? It is after all only a commemoration of the day you were conceived, and it's significance is exaggerated so that people will have yet another reason to celebrate.

I really don't know what to think of it, or rather, how I should form my opinion towards this very vague notion. Therefore, INTJs, I seek your help.

Perhaps you could give some anecdotes as to how you treat your own birthday? What do you do on the day itself? Do you buy yourself a gift? What is a birthday to you, anyway?

[SRVcardsfan27]

I personally dread when my birthday comes around. It's all completely stupid, and serves no purpose. Am I really that special for people to celebrate the date of my birth? I also hate getting the cards and having to pretend to like them. It's the same thing every year and I wish it would go unnoticed. I loathe all of the attention, but it isn't as bad as it used to be when I was younger.

I don't like getting cards for others, but feel I have to or it would be disrespectful or hurt their feelings.

And you always hear people say how much they hate getting older, but yet, they still love to celebrate their birthday. I guess that day makes up for becoming old and crusty.

[Nyctalop]

I stopped celebrating my birthday. It doesn't mean anything to me and I don't see the point in attracting attention to something trivial. If someone remembers and wishes me "a happy birthday" I'll thank him/her for it, but that's the peak of the festivities as far as I'm concerned.

[mkay]

I'm not a big celebrator of anything. My INTJ husband is likewise. We don't even necessarily get each other gifts for birthdays, holidays, anniversaries. If there happens to be something we think the other will like, we get it. If not, shrug.

I don't like being the center of attention for celebrations, so I don't like telling people my birthday. I don't mind telling people my age.

I recently turned 40 and spent it driving cross-country on an adventure. It just happened to work with the rest of my schedule, rather than doing something because it was my birthday. I've worked on some birthdays and not mentioned it to anyone. My husband recently forgot his own birthday, till he came home and heard a bunch of voice-mail singing from his family, who are big celebrators of everything.

[LvHmBirth]

Are birthdays really that big a deal? It is after all only a commemoration of the day you were conceived, and it's significance is exaggerated so that people will have yet another reason to celebrate.

While I do feel that the Hallmark syndrome has struck birthdays, it's a commemoration of the day you were born, not conceived. Though I'm thinking that the cards would be better on the latter.


Perhaps you could give some anecdotes as to how you treat your own birthday? What do you do on the day itself? Do you buy yourself a gift? What is a birthday to you, anyway?
I'm not particularly attached to doing something on my birthday. We usually have a family-type celebration. My husband knows where I keep a running list of items that I'd like as a gift, and he will usually get something off of that. If it's not on the actual day, that's fine. Sometime during the month, it would be nice to have cake.

[GinaMpls]

This year I turn the big 40 (in 2 weeks). My ENF* partner won't be satisfied with just having it be another day-- so all manner of surprise festivities have been planned.

I'd happily stay in and veg though.

[Vagrant]

It's just another day in the week.

[Sesshoumaru]

I don't like any of the 'false' attention I get. People are only noticing me because it's my birthday. I really don't care about gifts or anything I just wish for people to stop being so damn fake. Which is why in recent years my b-days have been pretty simple.

[dalidaisy]

I celebrate birthdays. I mean I really celebrate. Why not? Is it so terrible to be celebrated? It is the easiest significant day in which to honor a person. I am a very thoughtful individual & I make sure my family & friends feel special on the one day a year that they can call theirs.

On my birthday, I take the day off & do whatever I want to do. I reward myself for making it through yet another year (nevermind that I've been 29 for 6 years).

I would much rather celebrate on someone's birthday than a holiday, like, say, Christmas. Why decorate & gather on that day? I'm not even Christian. But, on my childrens' birthdays, I decorate, have people over, and do whatever would make them happy on that day. Maybe I'm silly, but it just makes more sense to me.

I don't fear death or dread another year. I actually like when my birthday comes. Not that I like parties. I prefer to go away & do something for myself. My family knows this & obliges me. We do have a small gathering & people sing, but I actually enjoy it. After all, it's just one day out of the year.

As for gifts & cards, I usually don't do them. I like the experience more than than the "things". If a particular gift is warranted on someone's birthday, I will make it a game to find it or something of the sort. Unfortunately for my oldest daughter, her birthday is on April Fools Day. You should hear the stories of some of the things I've done. Now, she may actually dread her birthday...

[Harmony]

My birthday is an easy way to get a day off at work without questions asked. And beings we just had an inground pool put in this past fall... I have a feeling (if I'm not out of town) it's going to be spent being a lazy pool bum. =P

[Brilliance]

I have always kind of had a negative opinion of celebrations on birthdays.. It's just a day, just a number, nothing more or less.

Although, It's more difficult to explain my reasoning to people, especially when they find out my birthday is 9/11, It just 'somehow' gives them more ammunition to use in their convincing spree.. sigh.

[Arminius]

Black Forest Cake. It is kind of traditional for several years now for my mom to make one for my birthday. It is kind of getting less important and harder to celebrate now that I'm at school. But it is a time to get together with my family and eat my favorite kind of cake.

[Allie]

I am with Vagrant also. Just another day for me.

Everyone is born once, so leave it at that. As long as you're alive and well for any given day, then everyday is as significant as the day you were born.




(My children (all children) think/feel differently. So, I'll indulge them on their birthdays :) )

[probity]

I don't go out of my way to celebrate my birthday. The reason isn't because I dislike celebrating, I just hate planning my own parties. If other people want to take me out to celebrate or plan a party for me I'm completely open to it and appreciate it but it's not something I'll do for myself. I haven't had a party on my birthday since I turned 12 because after that my parents wanted me to plan my own parties. The only party I've had since then was a surprise party a month and a half after my 20th birthday (my friends were a little slow in coordinating).

[blckprljinju]

well, i usually thank my mom for going through the pains of popping me out (she gave birth naturally... without any drugs... must have been painful), but that's really about it.

other than that, I don't really know why birthdays should matter so much... I think it matters more to those who matter to you (for me, that would be my family). Other than that, I don't see a need to tell everyone "hey, it's my birthday~! congratulate me!" or something stupid like that.

[RedBaronVZ]

Your birthday is just that. Your birth day, or the day on which you were birthed. But why can't people celebrate your existence? It's not as though you're any more special because of it, because nearly everyone celebrates their birthday to some extent (unless they're like you guys, I guess). Rather, I think of birthdays as the easiest day on which to honor someone and let them know that you appreciate their existence. This is why I don't ask for much other than the necessities unless it's my birthday, because otherwise, if you always ask for everything, then it's just an ordinary day. I'd prefer that I let someone fulfill their need to honor me on my birthday rather than give the impression that I'm above birthdays and they should do it everyday or any day. That's egotistical, if you'd ask me. Personally, I like to celebrate my birthday because it's the one day of the year where I have the excuse to ask for something out of the ordinary or something special; I don't want to ask for too much on any other date, because I don't want to give the impression that I'm special enough to have more than one date dedicated to me, where people have to buy me or give me things because they appreciate me. But having one date is fine enough when everyone gets one, just don't make too big of a deal about it and always be thankful for it. People generally want to be nice to on your birthday, so help them and accept their gifts for them rather than for yourself if it's such a big deal. They'll appreciate it if you aren't rude about it and say "oh, that's okay, you don't have to get me anything because I don't celebrate my birthday, I'm above that because I think it's arbitrary". That's egotistical in my opinion.

[xrockinrobin]

I don't mind celebrating my birthday within my family. Usually we go to a movie theater and then some restaurant afterward. (The downside of that is when they sing.) I'd always hate to do anything with my friends because usually it's a very small gathering and we don't do much different other than the above mentioned. I don't want them to feel "sorry" for me because I'm not having an elaborate party. Therefore I keep the day on the DL.

This is a little easier for me since it's in the middle of summer. :)

[annaelizabeth]

I enjoy celebrating birthdays for friends and family but not so much for myself. I just don't like the attention.
And I am probably the only person I know who doesn't like receiving or sending store bought cards. Why bother? I know some people are so offended if they don't receive a card which I buy at a store with someone else's sentiments written inside and my signature. A handmade card is another story altogether.

[Zombicide]

I didn't pay any mind to my birthday this (last) year i.e. the fact that it was my birthday that is. It was however coincidentally worse than any other day that year. It is more or less as you said, "It is after all only a commemoration of the day you were conceived, and it's significance is exaggerated so that people will have yet another reason to celebrate".

Not to say that that's a bad thing.

[childofprodigy]

Lol I don't even celebrate my birthday...It's just a normal day like any other day, there's really no need to celebrate....Celebrating birthdays is just another tradition, and I don't really follow traditions that much

[changos]

I stopped celebrating my birthday as to me, everyday is valuable, not only one. This made NO difference to a bunch of idiots that "came to celebrate my birthday" (including ex girlfriends, in fact, I refer mostly to them.

At this point in my life I travel (hide) and enjoy my time alone on a place I love. I would perhaps share the day with someone special (my girlfriend). Also, I can share the day with some male friends that are just like me: caring less for the day and enjoying some sick adventure on the mountains, caves, crazy biking... etc. In fact, I enjoy the company of people who value each day, instead of overreacting to that day.

Yes, I hide. People were coming to my house ruining my day and plans ALWAYS bringing cakes (I don't eat them, but I love pizza). So, to avoid those stupid melancholic phone calls from ex girlfriends... I go where I can't be found. And yes, I enjoy the day, really

[ElstonGunn]

I enjoy celebrating birthdays for friends and family but not so much for myself. I just don't like the attention.
And I am probably the only person I know who doesn't like receiving or sending store bought cards. Why bother? I know some people are so offended if they don't receive a card which I buy at a store with someone else's sentiments written inside and my signature. A handmade card is another story altogether.

I only observe my own birthday to humor the people who want to celebrate it. It's a mix of people who just want an excuse to eat a bunch of sugar, and people who think they're doing me a favor by giving me something that I actually hate (forced, polite attention).

I hate cards. "Here, I paid some guy to say something nice to you." Oh, how considerate. Maybe next year you can pay someone to be my friend, too.

[karenk]

I don't celebrate my birthday. It's just another day. I feel birthdays are for kids. I try my best to keep it secret at work.

I It's a mix of people who just want an excuse to eat a bunch of sugar, and people who think they're doing me a favor by giving me something that I actually hate (forced, polite attention).

Yea and if you don't eat sugar you either have to offend everyone by not eating it, or you have to force yourself to please them. Also, cards are trite.

[kevintr]

I try to ignore it but my wife throws a party, at least it's small, just one or two people besides us.

[void]

It is after all only a commemoration of the day you were conceived

The gestation period for humans is approximately nine months. Things don't look too good if the fetus refuses to come out after the tenth month or so ;)

Sticking to the topic at hand, it's technically just another day - no more and no less special than any other day. Nonetheless, I generally take the day off and spend it doing only things that I want to do. Such as savour a tasty meal at a restaurant I have never visited before. Or listen to a live jazz performance with some kind of alcoholic beverage in hand. I also mentally celebrate the completion of another orbit since the planet was graced by the presence of a being as superb as myself.

[FreeFall]

I stopped thinking about my birthday a very, very, very long time ago. In fact I feel ageless, I will live to be well over 100 years of age and will be in spectacular shape and sound of mind.

I don't have many friend's so I don't get a lot of happy birthday wishes, if I get em that's cool and if don't, well there is nothing missed!!!

[Acextreme]

Hmmm, birthdays...well, I don't really quite care much about it. But of course, if someone remembers mine and throws a party for me, well, yeah, I can enjoy that. However, I don't feel anything special about birthdays; it simply is a day which you are born, that's all...but I do use it as an "excuse" to pamper myself to a treat, like going out and buy something that I like, or get my best friends to join me over a feast or something. Not so much for celebrating but to use it as a reason to relax, reward, and spoil myself for my hard work over the past one year... :)

[secretagentm]

Being at the center of attention makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward, so I really don't like celebrating my birthday. In addition, I have so many negative memories/associations with the day, that I just want it to pass quickly.

I don't know what to do this year because my college friends have found out the date, and I think they are planning something. 'Surprise' parties are the worst because my friends desperately try to make the room look as full as possible by inviting the most far-flung people in my social universe, and I end up having to act all thankful, schmoozing with people I don't know well enough to care about. It just makes me feel so fucking awkward, and I worry if I'm not acting 'happy' enough, and then I feel horrible for resenting the friends who've forced me into this social role that requires small talk skills (that I obviously lack).

UGH. After the last surprise party, I made it known to my few best friends my position on this issue, but I don't know if it'll deter the group at large from subjecting me to even more torture. It's like they feel uncomfortable not recognizing the day, even if it's what I want.

[yondyr]

Birthdays? Xmas? Easter?....blech. We (my INTJ partner and I) ignore it all, and..living on the far reaches of humanity, we can hibernate til the insanity is all over.

[hidden]

I don't celebrate my birthday. I don't like attention, therefore I tell as little people as possible unless they ask. Otherwise, it's not information that I volunteer.

[ratlegs]

I never do anything on my birthday, its just like anyother day.

[True Rune]

Some people are trying a bit too hard I think. That said, I don't celebrate my birthday either. Though if I can, I try and get my twin brother a gift. Otherwise I still put worth in it, because I enjoyed them as a child. I don't want to put too much worth in it though. There are other important things too. But I'd say I'd treat it just like funerals. I do hate getting older though. I hope 22 isn't as bad as 21.

[Gargoyle]

I have actually been so involved in work that I missed my own birthday. I didn't realize it until I checked my voicemail the next day and got a Happy Birthday message from my folks.

Normally, I get a few cards from immediate family, I still like the cake & ice cream, my wife and I will usually go out for a nice dinner somewhere and that's about it. Presents are usually in the 'what do we need' category rather than dropping a lot of money on a useless trifle.

As for friends and co-workers and such, I don't even really bother telling them about it since it's not really any of their business.

[auriga vega]

On my birthday, I say to myself, "Oh I've survived another year, yay."
Other than that, it's just another day, no big changes or anything.
Although I don't mind presents...

[WaeV]

An excuse to eat cake and go see a movie :P.

Seriously though, the actual day has no importance. Once time i celebrated my birthday in August - I was born in April.

[Allie]

I do hate getting older though. I hope 22 isn't as bad as 21.

Let's save this and revisit in 10 years ;D

When I was in my 30's, I missed my 20s. When I got past 35 (getting almost close to my 40's at the moment), I was beginning to think that I missed the good times in my early 30's.

Then I caught myself. I should just enjoy being in my 30s as much as my 40s, when the time comes; I should be thankful I'll ONLY be in my 30's, while it lasts. And, when I am in my 40's, I will be thankful I am not in my 50s yet. And so on and so forth...

It's better to remember the good times in the past, continue to enjoy the good times in the present, and be just as ready to plan ahead for the future. At the same time, be aware that I've made it to another year, with another goal...So, life is marked by decades and goals/achievements, and not by birthdays.



That's my rambling moment for the night!

[Aussenseiter]

I don't celebrate my birthdays, I hate that forced attention like some of you too. Getting presents only makes me feel obligated to give something in return and causes additional stress.

To be honest, this is one of those things that I wish I could enjoy - but I can't. It seems so shallow to me. I would be happier if people just gave me more attention when I need it.

[Asinine]

It's an excuse to make a cake or buy one on clearance at the supermarket bakery sometime around that time.

[Zanbu4win]

I found that as I grew older my birthday became less and less important being far away from home keeps me from celebrating with my closest friends/family so I don't usually tell people I spend time with about my birthday. Surprisingly last year I worked on my birthday and without so much as mentioning it I showed up like normal only to find a cake with my name on it, completely unexpected kinda gave me the warm fuzzies.

My birthday is valentines day so I usually figure people have better things to do anyway so it's easy for me to fly under the radar, although I still enjoy hearing from my family.

[Nihilum]

"Hey, the earth made it around the sun again. I didn't think it would this time. The Little Planet that Could."
-House, M.D.

Not so important to me.

[Sazeriel]

Are birthdays really that big a deal? It is after all only a commemoration of the day you were conceived, and it's significance is exaggerated so that people will have yet another reason to celebrate.

Wow, i never thought that someone would actually feel the same way! Whenever I tell anyone that, they always look at me with a strange face. Society must have drilled the importance of age into their brains. Talk about brainwashing. Are we the only ones who are impervious to this?

[enris]

Heh, some consisting answers here. I don't usually celebrate birthdays eather, just another day for me. Celebrations are only when you have actually achieved something worth celebrating and just time passing by doesn't count as one. (I hate all other necessary holiday celebrations aswell. I'm not against celebrating but there has to be somekind of good reason for it.)

[llBradll]

My last birthday I had a stomach flu so my plan for my next birthday is anything else.

[Wapiti]

My birthday is usually an excuse to buy myself something I normally wouldn't or to justify why I bought something that maybe I shouldn't have. I'm not much into making a big deal of it although if the right people are involved, it can be fun.

[mel]

birthdays are a good excuse to get what you want. but other than that, why would i want to arrange a party so others can celebrate the fact that im getting one year older?

i dont even want to celebrate that. and i dont think others care.

[HeyZeus]

A guy in my office in his 50s took the day off for his birthday. I went out and bought him a party blower and a $10 gift card for Chuck E. Cheese and left it on his desk. I prefer that my birthday not be acknowledged. The lamest thing is when a sibling sends an e-mail birthday wish, a few days late. Thanks, bro!

Anyway INTJs that hate birthdays and don't yet have kids, as adults you may not care about your birthday, but for your kids, spoil them!