How did you end up going out with your partner?

[childofprodigy]

I'm not expecting a very romantic anecdotes here lol....Anyways, how did you meet your partner, and how did you end up being in a relationship with her/him? Did you make the initial move, or did your partner do most of the courting? What age were you?

nothing can beat an INTJ romance lol

[Anona Miss]

I'm not really seeing anyone now, so I can't give you anything on that.

I met my ex-husband in the dorm we both lived in at college -- he lived two doors down from me. Proximity can be powerful at times, I guess.

Now that I am thinking about it, most of the guys I dated were ones I met in my dorm. I did meet a few at parties, or because they were friends of friends.

I guess it helped that I lived in an engineering dorm, so not only were the inhabitants generally intelligent, but the male-female ratio was quite favorable. I was actually a psychology major -- I have no idea how I got placed there, but I'm glad I did.

We all left our doors open and people tended to wander in and out of each other's rooms, so it was almost impossible not to meet people. Strange behavior, really, for a bunch of introverts, but that's what happened.

As for the initial move, I never did that, but I suppose I was friendly enough when I was interested that it was noticed.

[F6M13]

~How did you end up going out with your partner?~

Utter desperation and loneliness, seriously.

[INTJoe]

Went clubbing with my good INTJ friend when I was 20, we slammed some brews in his truck out in the parking lot before we went in, and we were dancing with chicks and stuff, then I was taking a break and saw a gorgeous girl dancing alone in the center of the room, and had to hurry up and go get her. So I asked her if I could dance with her and she said yes and that basically means grinding to house music of course and I had my hands all over her for a solid hour and she had to leave early and I asked what part of town she's from (lol Houston is HUGE), and she was from my side so I then asked for her number and the rest is history as they say.

BTW, she said I made a great impression on her because I smelled good.

This story I find quite funny because it's about the last place you'd expect an INTJ male to meet an ISTJ female. Grinding on eachother at a dance club.

[Zilal]

Not seeing anyone now, but I can answer for my last relationship. We were volunteering when we met, he was flirting with me, I liked him too and decided I would ask for his phone number before the job ended. It got to that time and I was just about to ask him when he asked me first.

[altoid]

We'd been friends since college. We kept in touch after we graduated, and later when we were both single we decided to give a relationship a try. That was a few years ago and we're still together.

[Synamon]

I sat on my husband's lap in a hot tub at a party. :flirt:

We'd known each other casually for a couple of years before that, we worked at the same fast food restaurant and even had lockers beside each other for a year in high school.

[citationneeded]

In my examples I think they pried themselves into my life. Took out a crowbar and would not relent. I know for me there will never be a simple "let's go out" moment.

There will be friendship, and awkwardness, and crowbars.

[Phyconaut]

curiosity killed the cat or so they say

i was just intrigued by alternate life styles outside of the boring that society makes norm

so as citationneeded said She just worked her way in with her dominance while i was satisfying my curiosity.

2 years outside social norm health relationship and im only 21 so much to look forward to. :)

[dalidaisy]

In my examples I think they pried themselves into my life. Literally took out a crowbar and would not relent. I know for me there will never be a simple "let's go out" moment.

There will be friendship, and awkwardness, and crowbars.

I so totally feel you! It's like they won't take no for answer. Then, once they're in, they start bringing out the chains...

[Lucid]

Well, my ex and I ended up together for two reasons:

1. I was really lonely and settled for someone with a felony, no job and who was mentally and emotionally unstable.

2. It was one night stand gone horribly, horribly wrong. Now I know why people say they're a bad idea. They can end in 3 year relationships.

[Muumeh]

I met my husband in IRC. We were (still are) members of a gamer group which originally was a guild in online game called Dransik. We chatted alot in IRC and became really good friends during that time. After six years he decided to come to visit Finland to meet his favourite Finnish guildmates. When we first time saw eachother in flesh, it was sort of love on the first sight. So he came again to visit me 4 months later, we really wanted to live together, so I said "Let's get married". He agreed. So we're happily married now.

[JoshuaFairtex]

I'm curious to how many INTJs have met their partner online. I had one serious relationship and it was my first one ever + first love, I was 16 and we dated for 1.5 years throughout highschool... I couldn't figure out what went wrong, I tried acting how I thought a boyfriend was suppose to act (my F is lacking strongly) so I had to learn how to be a good boyfriend.. well it turned out that I was a doormatt by accident lol so we broke up and I couldn't figure out why she wanted some prick over me, so I went to the drawing board. After studying lots of male/female relationship stuff, PUA etc I started an online experiment via myspace. I would message every single girl I found attractive something to grab their attention, to see what worked and what didn't.. trial and error. After a year of doing this and fooling around with numerous attractive women from the internet lol, I stumbled across my current GF.

We talked on the phone and computer everyday for about 6 months and then I eventually decided that I liked what this girl was about so I went to go see her, we hooked up etc and actually fell in love within a 2 week span, after I left we just kept talking everyday and I went back again... and again.. and again.. and then she came to see me again.. again and again.. 3 years later we are still dating (i'm 20 and she is 22) and she is going to be moving in with me once I get my career lined up which i'm in the process of doing. She lives in Montreal and I live in British Columbia.





JoshuaFairtex added to this post, 2 minutes and 16 seconds later...

For the record, as an INTJ it's a comfortable fit because she is also an INxx so we really connect and can discuss things, plus being far apart gives me the personal space I need so we tend to rarely fight and it just works out, we see each other about every 3-4 months for 2 weeks at a time.

[probity]

My ex and I met in 8th grade Algebra. In the 9th grade we became really good friends and at the end of the year he confessed his undying love for me and said he was willing to wait for me to reciprocate his feelings. Six months later, in 10th grade, I saw him in the hall between classes, shoved him into a locker to get his attention, and told him we should go out some time. Two weeks out of high school we got engaged. It was a great relationship.

[Zhen]

I suspect this may be a classic INTJ female response...

"um...he wouldn't LEAVE ME ALONE!"

LOL- wear them down enough and eventually they'll rationalise that the struggle is too much effort haha...

[probity]

That is exactly what happened.

[Josephine1012]

LOL- wear them down enough and eventually they'll rationalise that the struggle is too much effort haha...

Haha, that's exactly how it usually happens for me (except the other way around)


me: ha!!!!! *evil laughter* I like you and now you're stuck! :p

[JoshuaFairtex]

Haha, that's exactly how it usually happens for me (except the other way around)


me: ha!!!!! *evil laughter* I like you and now you're stuck! :p

Ball and chain right here ;P

[Kisai]

I suspect this may be a classic INTJ female response...

"um...he wouldn't LEAVE ME ALONE!"

LOL- wear them down enough and eventually they'll rationalise that the struggle is too much effort haha...

Hee. My wife in the past kept cooking really good Thai food for me, so I kept going over to her place and eating it.

[Josephine1012]

Ball and chain right here ;P

I'm the fun kind... either that or they are too scared to complain :p

[JoshuaFairtex]

Are you calling yourself heavy? I'd go with the fear of complaint option :D

lol i'm just playing.

[Anona Miss]

I suspect this may be a classic INTJ female response...

"um...he wouldn't LEAVE ME ALONE!"

LOL- wear them down enough and eventually they'll rationalise that the struggle is too much effort haha...

It's always been that way in my experience. Contrary to popular belief, I've always found it is the guy who not only initiates the relationship, but also pushes for more -- more frequent contact, more time together, more exclusivity, more commitment.

Of course, this may just be because I am an antisocial, distant, detached, commitment phobe...so if anyone is going to do that, it won't be me.

[Frag]

It was the strangest thing. And I'm not sure "going out" is entirely applicable.
(INTJ pair... going "out" isn't top of the priority list)

[ClydeB]

I was teaching a computer course part time at a local university. My exgirlfriend was one of the students in my class.

This was an adult night class by the way. She was in her 30's. So was I. No fresh out of high school thing here.

She sat in the front and would always have that 10,000 watt smile turned on. Cut up with the guy behind her. Very interested in learning all about computers and was very interesting to talk to. I would always be available during lunch and after class for Q&A as people wanted to bring their business related questions up. I would offer to talk specifics outside of class if it strayed too far off topic. She had lots of questions about computers.The conversations kept turning to other topics. And we clicked. I kept things professional until I had to quit that job. My primary job was getting too busy and I couldn't give both jobs 100% effort. The day job paid way better. A few students and I had one last sit down lunch after Saturday morning class on my last day. It ended up just her and I talking for hours at the restaurant. Then sitting in my car chatting when that place closed. Then in each others arms. Then at her place, the next day mine.

It lasted two years.

[Sesquipedalian]

Well, I plundered and pillaged a local village.

She was the wife of a dude named "Aureligar". I was like, "Whatever. You're mine now woman. It's sandwich time. Also, end women's suffrage (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 2 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)."

On the upside, she's pretty cute. Unfortunately, she refuses to shave her pits, and she doesn't speak a word of English.

Eh, win some lose some.

[acyckowski]

Wow.

Okay, I feel kind of syrupy admitting this, but here goes....

I met my wife at a high school dance. I saw her, thought she was pretty, so I walked up to her and asked her to dance. She said yes. We danced, talked, I got her number, the next week I took her to a football game.

After college we got married, and 13 years later we're still going.

[blossom]

I met my boyfriend in a club. Neither of us wanted to go and were dragged there by our extraverted friends. Said friends started chatting, and he, with a few drinks in him, wandered over to my side of the table and we started talking. We hit it off, danced a bit, and then he kissed me and it was magic. I took him home (never did that before!) and it was like we had always known each other. No awkwardness or anything, and one of the best nights of my life.

[INTJSheldon]

Oh boy...Lets see...

So there I was an employee at the regional amusement park (had been the year before as well). She was a new hire just off her freshman year of college. I was attempting to woo another female new hire (as best an INTJ can), and the end result was rather funny.

Our team lead at our ride sent us off to lunch together. And after seating down for lunch together and giving her the 20 questions just trying to pass the time I felt rather interested in that I may actually have a chance with this one.

So I created this elaborate rouse where we would go on a trip to the local Native American Casino with a group of friends, the friends wouldn't show up and it would be just us. Sadly one of the other INTJ people at the park (you would be surprised how many Introverts actually work at an amusement park), didn't get the memo and came to the party. ODD.

So we were playing slot machines and she had to go to the bathroom, I kept her seat warm by playing her machine as well and what would you know. I (she) won 100 bucks. Well now what do I do I explained to my other 'friend'.

When she came back I offered to take her out to a movie and by her dinner. We watched Star Wars Episode I (it just came out - without that other friend). And we haven't looked back since then.

As an aside of this conversation - that I hinted at before. Amusement Parks are full of introverts, no idea why actually. You have no choice but to be 'extorverted' with the people. It may be the setting which allows an Introvert the ability to expand their horizons without the feeling for another person.

[zibber]

Turned up the extraversion a notch or two. Got me the girl, but it did set a standard that's been giving me some trouble lately.

I kept her seat warm by playing her machine as well and what would you know. I (she) won 100 bucks. Well now what do I do I explained to my other 'friend'.

When she came back I offered to take her out to a movie and by her dinner.

Hah, you used "her" winnings to finance the first date? Utter genius.

[ElstonGunn]

I wasn't especially aware of her, but then she told me that she had liked me for a while. I told her that she had probably mistaken me for someone else. She denied that and kept the conversation going. At first I was mostly just interested in the idea that a woman would like me on a theoretical, "why would you wanna do that?" kind of level. But it didn't take very long for me to start liking her for herself, too.

[Frodis]

We grew up in the same neighborhood - so I knew OF him - but he went to a different school until high school. Then he transferred to my high school, became friends with my female cousin, who was my best friend. They were big buds, playing tennis and bball all the time. I thought he was after her. Sometimes I tagged along. I didn't really like him...I had actually "dated" several of his friends.

One summer, my cousin left for vacation, and we were kinda "stuck" alone together. I think he must've asked if I wanted to do something one evening...didn't sound like a big deal. Got some Little Caesar's pizza-pizza, and went to the drive in, made out...the rest is history. 15-plus years of history...

[kira]

Several years ago, we met in an art class during our mid-20s. I'd say that I initiated, although he'd disagree (though he's mistakened one woman for another often enough so whatever... lol). He really stood out with all the other women in the class flocked around him. We became acquainted superficially, but he was so popular and distracted that the onus was on me to initiate. Unfortunately I'm not well endowed in the verbal communication department, so I resorted to playing mean pranks like applying pieces of tape to his backside before he headed off to work after class. Somehow I knew he would take this well. :) This escalated to throwing wadded up paper at each other, smearing crayon on each other's faces, and verbally assaulting each other. Luckily the class atmosphere was laid-back.

We didn't get together right away since he was enjoying his singlehood and I moved away a couple years after we met. We kept in touch for years and, when I moved back, I found out that he missed me more than I thought. We've become much more civil to each other over the years, though now and then we like to relive the good old days.

[INTJSheldon]

Turned up the extraversion a notch or two. Got me the girl, but it did set a standard that's been giving me some trouble lately.



Hah, you used "her" winnings to finance the first date? Utter genius.

Yeah there is that and the fact I bought our entire ride team donuts the next day.

[Aurelia]

In the ER. We were both volunteering there. He made the first move.

[Scarlet Cake]

I met my INTJ husband through a mutual friend.
We both felt an instant connection.
He fell in love at first sight.
While I felt certain I had already met him before.

I was 18 and he was 21.
He asked me to be his Valentine a few days after we met.

After 3 months of dating we knew that we wanted
to spend the rest of our lives together.

We've been together 6 years.
And our 1st. baby is due in February.