eye contact

[Jedi_sena]

I know that eye-contact is important, but I often fail to practice it. At home, my husband and I seldom look each other in the eye, but we have a great relationship. I HEAR people and pick up on audible things better. Once my husband & I had spoken with a man and after he left, my husband knew the man had lied because of his body language, and I knew he was lying because of his tone of voice.

[Wildflower]

I am not big on a lot of eye contact with people I don't know well.

[BlackHawk]

Eye contact can be really important in a relationship, but for acquaintances, it's no big deal.

[INTJgal]

i use an absurd amount of eye contact so much so taht males always look away. i hear that's gender-related. (females use it a lot more than males.)

manners from my mom = natural instinct by now that requires conscious thought to not do so foten around guys. i do notice thye get uncomfortable by it.

[logan235711]

I don't think eye contact is that important--but I do love to fall into those eyes every-so-often *siiiigggghhhhhhh* :lovestruck: Body language can be a great tool to use in addition to others, but hardly ever on its own. There seems to be too much diversity among cultural, personality, and just people to rely solely on it.

[Jedi_sena]

I think that eye-contact is truthful and when I'm convincing someone, then I purposely (more than instinctively) use eye contact. But I use it as a last resort when trying to discern some else's truthfulness, when what they say surprises me.

[The Rose]

When getting training in the business world, I was taught that getting eye contact with people is very important. It shows confidence.

My daughter's boyfriend is really hard to get eye contact with and it's a little irritating. It's only polite and proper when someone is speaking to you to respect them by looking at them, giving them eye contact and your attention.

[Hdier]

If I'm working on something, I will generally talk to the person while I work. Otherwise, I maintain eye contact (or at least look at the person; I probably wouldn't even do that much if my dad hadn't drilled it into me when I was younger).

[brewmaster]

I won't hear a damn word someone says if I am looking at them directly in the eye, along similar lines of the OP. I don't know why this is. To avoid this I generally look to just right of their left eye. I am heavily left eye dominant and if I were to look at someone directly I would only use my left eye anyway, so they wouldn't notice too much that this is occuring.

With people I encounter on the street, I cannot stand eye contact. I generally will wear sunglasses so that I can people watch without them taking notice, therefore helping to avoid it further. I dislike people looking at me to the extent that I will walk down alleys to get to work so that people passing by in their cars cannot see me. It's a strange quirk.

[stasis]

It has been quite some time since I looked somebody directly in the eye. I find it to be pointedly uncomfortable and it makes me feel absurd. And because I can't really concentrate when preoccupied with feeling absurd, I tend not to do it.

[INTJgal]

oh yes--as much as i use eye contact in everyday conversation, i can't look at anyone in the face if i'm trying to find deep thoughts.

[Hdier]

I won't hear a damn word someone says if I am looking at them directly in the eye, along similar lines of the OP. I don't know why this is. To avoid this I generally look to just right of their left eye. I am heavily left eye dominant and if I were to look at someone directly I would only use my left eye anyway, so they wouldn't notice too much that this is occuring.

With people I encounter on the street, I cannot stand eye contact. I generally will wear sunglasses so that I can people watch without them taking notice, therefore helping to avoid it further. I dislike people looking at me to the extent that I will walk down alleys to get to work so that people passing by in their cars cannot see me. It's a strange quirk.

I sometimes look to the right of their right eye if I'm lying or something, so that it's harder for them to tell (does anyone know why you can 'see' emotions in peoples eyes).

[The Rose]

I sometimes look to the right of their right eye if I'm lying or something, so that it's harder for them to tell (does anyone know why you can 'see' emotions in peoples eyes).Because the eyes are the windows to the soul?

[HarleyQuinn]

I look at their mouths partly due to my inability to disassociate with lip reading . I find it hard to look at people when they talk because like the OP and brewmaster, I can't remember a word somebody tells me.

I also find that I'm constantly pondering and thinking their words over in my head as I'm listening so that could be partly why I also avoid eye contact.

[Hypomanic]

When getting training in the business world, I was taught that getting eye contact with people is very important. It shows confidence.

My daughter's boyfriend is really hard to get eye contact with and it's a little irritating. It's only polite and proper when someone is speaking to you to respect them by looking at them, giving them eye contact and your attention.

Yes, I agree, eye contact is an important aspect of how others see/interpret you.

Just as Jedi_sena picks up important information that tells her when a person is lying through auditory means, I do the same through eye contact (and attention to their body language.. if it correlates with their eye contact).

I avoid eye contact when I don't like someone or when I'm not up for talking.. so it says something about me, at least.

[rocksteady]

I look at eye-contact as a form of respect, you make it with people to show them you are listening (even if you aren't) I generally don't make eye contact with people I don't really want to talk to.

[RoqueBear]

Eye contact is a funny thing in Native culture. I usually don't make eye contact or brief eye contact with people. I will however in positions of authority and leadership (ENTJ Mode) or if someone has me enraptured mentally I will...

[logos]

I make eye contact very frequently. It's a matter of respect, whether I'm giving it or commanding it (primarily the latter). I have always likened it to the behavior of inferior primates. If a primate makes eye contact with a superior primate, it must be the one who looks away else a fight may ensue. Only the alpha male/female stares into the eyes of the others, and they look away. I learned about this as a child after I had already learned it by observing human behavior. I believe wolves have a similar pack dominance behavior.

In our more civilized culture, eye contact between two doesn't mean a fight so much as it means equality, which is mutual respect.

[INTJoe]

Eye contact is pretty important.

I find myself looking at people's teeth/lips a lot as they talk and going back and forth from their mouth to their eyes. Not sure if this is weird or not. I don't seem to ever notice people glancing down at my teeth when they talk to me. But I do have handsome eyes. :)

[The Rose]

I make eye contact very frequently. It's a matter of respect, whether I'm giving it or commanding it (primarily the latter). I have always likened it to the behavior of inferior primates. If a primate makes eye contact with a superior primate, it must be the one who looks away else a fight may ensue. Only the alpha male/female stares into the eyes of the others, and they look away. I learned about this as a child after I had already learned it by observing human behavior. I believe wolves have a similar pack dominance behavior.

In our more civilized culture, eye contact between two doesn't mean a fight so much as it means equality, which is mutual respect.I agree.

[Todos]

Some things I've read about eye contact say that the higher status person will tend to look into ones eyes when talking to them (glancing away every so often) and that this high status person, when on the receiving end of talk, will not necessarily be focused on the speaker's eyes.

So to convey high status, look people in the eye when talking to them, and look at them once in awhile while they're speaking to you, looking off to the side now and then (not down).

At my work I've noticed a lot of people look down-- either they're walking with their head/eyes down (conveys low status and possibly low esteem) or they see you then cast their eyes down (again conveys low status/submission).

[mind_wander]

In some cultures, having direct eye-contact is disrepectful. Glad to joined this crowd because my eye-contact kinda sux.

[ShaiGar]

Eye contact is very easy for me. Too easy.

It's easy to drown in someones eyes and die with a smile on your face.

[Hdier]

That happened to me once (except for the dying part).

[ShaiGar]

Well obviously I'm not dead either, but I do not like eye contact for that reason. It's too easy to fall in love with a person when you map their iris.

[Hdier]

Yeah, my only problem is that would happen to often with me (very susceptible to eyes)

[Hypomanic]

It's too easy to fall in love with a person when you map their iris.

Then you'd be crazy for me. ;)

[Rei]

Eye contact is important for showing that you're paying attention to the person.
I usually talk to people on the move (as in walking and talking - it saves time), so my eyes are always facing forward with the occasional glance to make a point. If I'm sitting and just talking to someone I generally stare into space or on the floor or something...

It's really irritating when people avoid eye contact though. I always start to feel all edgy and suspicious.

I'm a sucker for people who keep eye contact throughout a conversation though... okay sometimes it can be creepy, so I guess it depends who it is... but still, eye contact is yummy.

[AnandaMeansBliss]

Eye contact is really easy 95% percent of the time. Sometimes it is hard when you are with someone who is as intense as you about eye contact. In this case looking into someones eyes can be very uncomfortable especially when you aren't in a relationship with them or want to be and can't. Sigh...

[Rei]

Eye contact is really easy 95% percent of the time. Sometimes it is hard when you are with someone who is as intense as you about eye contact. In this case looking into someones eyes can be very uncomfortable especially when you aren't in a relationship with them or want to be and can't. Sigh...

Most of the time I'd take it as a challenge and go with it.
Sometimes I avoid it because... well it's for the better...

[Santana28]

I avoid it for more than a few moments with most people... i've been told that my eyes are so intense they're scary sometimes. I've been told i intimidate people by the way i look at them - even if i don't realize it. I don't stare... i guess i "glare." People who know and love me name it as my #1 best feature... although most of these people are fellow NT types ;)

[robin.]

I always look people in the eyes if I'm listening or talking to them, and my eye contact is usually only broken by them. I don't attach any meaning or emotions to this, I just...think it's more polite to look at who you're interacting with.

[Rei]

I avoid it for more than a few moments with most people... i've been told that my eyes are so intense they're scary sometimes. I've been told i intimidate people by the way i look at them - even if i don't realize it. I don't stare... i guess i "glare." People who know and love me name it as my #1 best feature... although most of these people are fellow NT types ;)

I get that too.
I'm told that when I walk into a room of strangers I glance "piercingly" around. I do it purposely though. It results in the effect I wanted to get... to prevent random people from coming up to me...
My close friend also says it is something they lurrrrve about me. For me, looking intimidating is not a bad thing. :rolleyes:

Until I'm trying to find a boyfriend that is :undecided:

[banzai]

Conversely, I find that I often use a lack of eye contact to communicate that I am not interested in small talk... or to tell my hovering co-workers that I have work to do and they should stop talking to me.

[Meyer]

Eye contact for me is much easier when listening than speaking. Also I have had to learn to soften my gaze because I think people feel as if I want to kill them when I look into their eyes.

[Paul V]

I avoid it for more than a few moments with most people... i've been told that my eyes are so intense they're scary sometimes. I've been told i intimidate people by the way i look at them - even if i don't realize it. I don't stare... i guess i "glare." People who know and love me name it as my #1 best feature... although most of these people are fellow NT types ;)

I know what you mean. I try to look at people in the eyes as often as I can, to show I'm paying attention, and I care for what they say. But quite often, my eyes make people uncomfortable or shy. On top of that, I managed twice to make people who were laughing go quiet and serious. And I can get some people back down from arguments just by looking at them angrily.

But I've also been told that my eyes are really expressive and calm when I'm daydreaming.

[WavesSootheMe]

Eye contact for me is much easier when listening than speaking. Also I have had to learn to soften my gaze because I think people feel as if I want to kill them when I look into their eyes.

So true for me, well except for people feeling as if I want to kill them. It's not something usually assumed of a petite, freckled girl. I think my default is to look at their face but not straight in their eyes. I occasionally glance at their eyes, more often when listening. I catch myself looking off in other directions when I'm talking and then fix it, but it certainly happens. It's really context dependent too: with friends I don't even really think about it (many of them think of me as an E), in meetings and interviews my eye contact is on, with coworkers and acquaintances it can vary. My ex-bf did always joke about me being a "sly fox with shifty eyes," but he would purposely make direct eye contact with me when it wasn't necessary just for the reaction. I'd try to give him the eye contact back just to prove him wrong, but I'd ultimately just end up looking shifty (looking, looking away, looking, looking away). It's funny to talk about this, since I'm a therapist for children with autism. I think I take a more reasonable approach to it than some other therapists. I understand it's importance, but I don't overdo it. It's not so important that they maintain eye contact at all times, but that they use it when paying attention and getting another's attention. Any appropriate use beyond that is icing on the cake and will definitely be reinforced but I'm not going to take focus away from other deficits just to work on it.

[stasis]

Until I'm trying to find a boyfriend that is :undecided:
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[Jedi_sena]

I have a coworker whose eyes get very shifty when she's being deceitful, she squints, purses her lips, and her eyes dart back and forth as if she's a cartoon making sure the coast is clear. I hate that she is so obvious while lying or manipulating and it evokes quite a drastic response in me--she did it the other day & if I'd have been closer I might have slapped that expression right off of her face!

[Rei]

I have a coworker whose eyes get very shifty when she's being deceitful, she squints, purses her lips, and her eyes dart back and forth as if she's a cartoon making sure the coast is clear. I hate that she is so obvious while lying or manipulating and it evokes quite a drastic response in me--she did it the other day & if I'd have been closer I might have slapped that expression right off of her face!

LOL!
That's hilarious.
I feel so sorry for her... she can never lie convincingly except on the phone or on the internet.

[Jedi_sena]

I actually am a fairly peacable person, but I have encountered a few individuals in my life that I truly feel intense hostility toward. Another was this guy who everyone wanted me to marry and he was interested and I never understood why because anytime we were together we would part company with me angry and he with his tail tucked between his legs. I hoped we'd never see each other again and he couldn't wait for round 2. I wonder if these people are all the same type and that I just have an aversion to a particular type.

[Solnath]

I'm often asked to stop looking at the person like that. I prefer eyes-to-other person contact and it's quite difficult to look away if I'm interested in the conversation. For chatting, however, I don't even really need to be too awake.

[danalaina]

It's only polite and proper when someone is speaking to you to respect them by looking at them, giving them eye contact and your attention.

i think attention is the key thing here. when i'm looking directly at someone, i can tell whether s/he's paying attention to what i'm saying. if i want to convey nonverbally that i'm paying attention, i keep eye contact with the person speaking.

if speaking isn't involved, i tend not to make contact often. i've noticed a big regional difference in this, though. where i grew up in Texas, making eye contact with strangers longer than a glance is impolite. it was never explained to me or anything...it's just one of those unspoken social norms. here in southern California, people will actually just stare at strangers. that took me quite a while to get used to. i was perpetually wondering whether i had a stain on my shirt or something.

[WavesSootheMe]

here in southern California, people will actually just stare at strangers.

Really? I moved to SoCal from CO a while ago. I don't remember a difference. Maybe I'm so busy not making eye contact with strangers that I don't notice it regardless of where I am.

[SMKN LS1]

I was taught that maintaining eye contact was a form of respect that should be given to other parties during communication. It's a form of body language that helps convey (obviously) non-verbal messages and cues on the topic being discussed. Your eyes can display your level of interest (in the message or messenger), confidence, agreement or dissention, and even your health/vitality. It's useful in business meetings, flirting with, well, anyone, and even in displaying dominance. Heck, I've trained dogs with eye contact alone.

I don't naturally like making eye contact, and it took me years to perfect the skillset. One technique that helps is to look at the other person's bridge on their nose. Not constantly, of course, or they'll think you're wacky. But, looking at that point allows you to feign eye contact, without the uncomfortable side effects we normally feel.

[Hypomanic]

I actually think I've been denied jobs several times in due to my strong eye contact during interviews. They'll say I'm a likely candidate for the job, but then not call me back or do what they said they'd do. This fact is somewhat disturbing, as I thought eye contact was a good thing.

[danalaina]

Really? I moved to SoCal from CO a while ago. I don't remember a difference. Maybe I'm so busy not making eye contact with strangers that I don't notice it regardless of where I am.

yes, for me it was a huge difference. it took a long while for me to adjust. i remember being quite surprised about it every time it would happen for months. then again, i also noticed that the unwritten rules here in SoCal about personal space are also quite different than in Texas. i forget who made the joke, but to paraphrase: in Texas, if you're closer than two feet away from someone, you're engaged.

Colorado's definitely a different flavor than Texas. perhaps Colorado and SoCal aren't so different, and Texas is the oddball.

[quentin]

People say that I have quick eyes, and that I don't give much eye contact, my eyes are always darting around the room. One reason is that I like to be hyper-observant and aware of my surroundings. Whenever I'm talking with someone I'm also making a conscious effort to overhear the conversations around me at the same time (if they are interesting or I want to extract information about what this cute girl at the next table is like). Another reason is that I was diagnosed as legally blind at an early age (I have 20/200 vision) which is now corrected by contacts, but old habits die hard. My vision was never good so I had to compensate for that.

[maximo]

At my work I've noticed a lot of people look down-- either they're walking with their head/eyes down (conveys low status and possibly low esteem) or they see you then cast their eyes down (again conveys low status/submission).

I agree with this. Interestingly enough, when a man makes eye contact with a woman and she looks down (more often than not), it's a show of submissiveness and she wants you to talk to her. At the same token, a guy doing this very thing to another guy conveys the lower status. I used to be guilty of that all the time. I practiced keeping 2 second eye contact with everyone and after awhile it wasn't uncomfortable anymore. It's seems like a vestige from our early evolution.

Another thing I learned from interpersonal communications is that caucasion people will look at you when they are talking and look away when they are listening but black people are the opposite. They look at you when listening and away when talking. Strange.

[Rei]

yes, for me it was a huge difference. it took a long while for me to adjust. i remember being quite surprised about it every time it would happen for months. then again, i also noticed that the unwritten rules here in SoCal about personal space are also quite different than in Texas. i forget who made the joke, but to paraphrase: in Texas, if you're closer than two feet away from someone, you're engaged.

Colorado's definitely a different flavor than Texas. perhaps Colorado and SoCal aren't so different, and Texas is the oddball.

Texans have severe intimacy issues? :p

I agree with this. Interestingly enough, when a man makes eye contact with a woman and she looks down (more often than not), it's a show of submissiveness and she wants you to talk to her. At the same token, a guy doing this very thing to another guy conveys the lower status. I used to be guilty of that all the time. I practiced keeping 2 second eye contact with everyone and after awhile it wasn't uncomfortable anymore. It's seems like a vestige from our early evolution.

Another thing I learned from interpersonal communications is that caucasion people will look at you when they are talking and look away when they are listening but black people are the opposite. They look at you when listening and away when talking. Strange.

That is an interesting note... I'll keep it in mind the next time I talk to someone.

I tend to look off into the distance, unless it was a small space (like an elevator) since I'm short and can't really... look into the distance without meeting a face instead. I think the only time I look down is when I'm ashamed of a mistake I made or something.

You look at people when you are talking because you want to get feedback. You look at people when they are talking to show respect or that you're paying attention. It possibly implies what each racial group generally value more...

[athenian200]

I know that eye-contact is important, but I often fail to practice it. At home, my husband and I seldom look each other in the eye, but we have a great relationship. I HEAR people and pick up on audible things better. Once my husband & I had spoken with a man and after he left, my husband knew the man had lied because of his body language, and I knew he was lying because of his tone of voice.

Hmm... I think that makes sense. I'm okay at eye-contact now, because I was trained by someone who teaches communication skills during late grade school to improve my eye-contact. But I wasn't great at it when I was younger, and would often talk to people without looking at them (sometimes I still do this when I'm stressed). I've always been fairly good at picking up on the meanings of tone, though I don't know if I would be able to detect a lie unless I knew the person well.

Also, I tend to use a lot of hand gestures when speaking.

[Rei]

Hmm... I think that makes sense. I'm okay at eye-contact now, because I was trained by someone who teaches communication skills during late grade school to improve my eye-contact. But I wasn't great at it when I was younger, and would often talk to people without looking at them (sometimes I still do this when I'm stressed). I've always been fairly good at picking up on the meanings of tone, though I don't know if I would be able to detect a lie unless I knew the person well.

Also, I tend to use a lot of hand gestures when speaking.

I think one problem with not looking at people when you're talking to them is you don't know when they're not next to you anymore.

I get that problem when I'm at the mall or something with a friend. I'm busy looking through things while talking and I don't realize when the person next to me is some stranger :blank:

[WavesSootheMe]

then again, i also noticed that the unwritten rules here in SoCal about personal space are also quite different than in Texas. i forget who made the joke, but to paraphrase: in Texas, if you're closer than two feet away from someone, you're engaged.

By your description, I suddenly have a strong urge to move to Texas :). However, I've visited a couple times (I have friends that are from there and that have moved there) and I didn't notice these wonderful differences at all. Either it's not all of Texas, or I was really non-observant (which is entirely possible).

Another thing I learned from interpersonal communications is that caucasion people will look at you when they are talking and look away when they are listening but black people are the opposite. They look at you when listening and away when talking. Strange.

This is from your own experience? Where do you live? I don't fit! Then again I'm used to being the odd one out.

[RedBaron]

I am a firm believer in eye contact, though sometimes people don't like it when I look them in the eye. It lets me know if you're telling the truth. If a person who isn't doing something doesn't bother to look at me when they're talking to me, I feel like they aren't convicted about what they're saying.

[ShaiGar]

Eye contact is extremely important for me because I have conditioned myself not to look at the breasts at all. Such a damn temptation though.

[Solnath]

Perhaps it is so that we prefer to maintain eye contact when we don't necessarily trust the other person. Or perhaps we already know the body language mannerisms, even on a sub-conscious leve, of those we do trust so we don't have to look them in the eyes.

[Kydwyn]

My father taught me to avoid eye contact with strangers at a young age as a self defense thing. It's very hard to break that habit. I can only make eye contact easily after repeated exposure to a person. Odd, but there it is.

[Ribcakes]

unfortunately for me, i have a tendency to stare people down when i talk to them.
so...i think eye contact is pretty easy

[Deepdelver]

I generally make eye contact when listening, unless I am uninterested in the topic. Instead, I will fixate on the persons face (i.e.-eye brows that need to be reshaped or that one long nose hair sticking out of the right nostril) or I will look "through" their eyes (probably considered a stare). :stunned:

I break eye contact when entertaining a thought in a fascinating conversation. I don't make eye contact when I am speaking. The persons facial expressions are too intense and my concentration is lost.

[dbjs]

unfortunately for me, i have a tendency to stare people down when i talk to them.
so...i think eye contact is pretty easy

I'm like that too.

When I walk on a crowded street I look the people who walk towards me in the eyes, and they look down and walk around me. So I have an easy time of getting through rushhour times here in Denmark.
It's actually funny to notise how people avoid me bacuse I "stare them down"

My friends often tell me that if eyes could kill, there would be a lot of dead people around me :laugh:, I find that rather funny also, because I'm a girl, 25 years of age, and not very tall. Why would people be intimidated by me? It's not that I look angry or anything, but my stare must just be intense when I make eye contact, which I do most times.

[Booko]

Eye contact doesn't bother me one way or the other. I tend to be visually-oriented though.

I've had to learn some cultural differences about eye contact though. Some cultures aren't big on it, and some are not big on it if it's female talking to an unrelated male.

I try not to do things that will make people uncomfortable if I can easily avoid it.

[TheLastMohican]

I am only conscious of eye contact when I am concerned about how it appears to other people. Since I am aware of things like microexpressions and the subtle cues from eye movements, I tend to think that others are making the same observations, so I sometimes make an effort to appear truthful (even though I am not being deceitful in the first place). I think overdoing this might have the opposite effect, but it is difficult to avoid. It is like suddenly putting thought into an act like walking; once you start thinking about it, the rhythym is disrupted and you are worse-off for it.

When not thinking about it, I usually look from the person's mouth to his or her eyes, back and forth. I do this even though I do not need to read lips. I guess I might be checking for certain facial expressions.

[dandylion]

I usually make direct eye contact when speaking with people unless I'm preoccupied or if it's some casual conversation that doesn't require looking into their eyes. I don't make eye contact if I want to avoid speaking to someone or if I don't want to acknowledge they're in my presence.

I kind of enjoy looking into people's eyes, especially strangers' eyes; they always hold a sense of calm and wonder, like they're trying to take me in all at once. When other people of all ages and backgrounds give presentations or are addressing a crowd, I like to sit very still and stare into their eyes without blinking (although the not blinking isn't something I do on purpose, it just happens); I noticed they would always become locked into my gaze for a long while, and then they'd shake it off once they've realized they're speaking to a bunch of people but looking at one person. It's very amusing.

[VendettaNZ]

Sometimes I do, but only I like the person or want them to like me, anyone else I dont really look at them. I find I cant really read peoples faces very well. I really really hate talking to people with sunglasses though, for some reason it makes me think they think they are better than me, because they dont need to show there face or are trying to hide something.

[changos]

As for the definition of intimacy I read about somewhere, eye contact is a big part of it. You don't even have to touch somebody and is needed even at parties where your partner is far away... The book talked about intimacy being something not always related to sex per example.

Eye contact moves mountains, says a lot in a matter of seconds.

Even on combat or a fight, your eyes should try to look all the area you can using your peripheral view, but if you do make direct eye contact... is a whole different deal. You might start and end a fight only with direct eye contact.

[errrzarrr]

I've learned Eye Contact is important. So important. I have improved a lot on Eye contact (and Body Language in general) and still keep improving, this is great!.

[Fej]

I make heavy eye contact at work as our society requires it, as a sign of being attentive, courteous, and respectful. When I was younger I didn't make much eye contact. And I got disciplined for it quite a few times. It was "drilled" into my brain by my father just like someone mentioned in an earlier post. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't make much eye contact. I've noticed that people seem to be able to read my eyes. It probably tells them things like I am a jerk, that I don't care about them, that I am angry, that I am arrogant. This is true, but I am also an incredibly insecure person.

[SiMey]

In casual conversation I never know which eye I'm supposed to look at. I end up looking at part of the face, nose or mouth and try to look at an eye. Facial piercings get my attention.

If I want to be direct (nigh on harsh) I'm straight in a person's eyes. Happens when I'm giving constructive feedback.

I try to look people Western Cultural people in the eye coz they seem to like it but I don't care less where they are looking. With Indigenous people I don't know I may glance at their eyes and then look off to the side, unless they look open to direct eye contact.

[IF3157]

In some cultures, having direct eye-contact is disrepectful.
Yes, and I used to console myself with this knowledge when I was too afraid to make eye contact with people. I now have no problems making eye contact with people if I like them. People I detest or distrust, however, may not get my full open eye contact.
It used to be if I had a crush or the beginnings of one on someone, I couldn't look them in the eye. I felt too naked. It was if they could find me out. I do have large, expressive eyes, so that's not so crazy to think. ;) Nowadays, I consider timely use of eye contact as an important tool in my flirting arsenal.

[PortInStorm]

Just recently I've been trying to keep my sunglasses on to hide what I'm really feeling, so I sympathize/agree with whoever said direct eye contact gives away who they really are. Thing is, it really only gives it away to whoever's perceptive enough to receive it, and though those people are few and far between, if they catch you, you're exposed, gone.

I've also noticed that if I'm having a hard time with someone, I'll suddenly realize I haven't looked in their eyes for weeks. It prevents them from getting anything from me.

[IFearAManOf1Book]

I have a hard time making eye-contact with people. Maybe it's because I feel I give too much away when I look someone in the eyes, and it makes me uncomfortable to know that another person might know what I am thinking or feeling.

[Max]

I don't like it when people look me straight in the face so I usually avoid looking straight into theirs. I dunno why. It just makes me....uncomfortable; always has.

[Eric86]

I maintain pretty much constant eye contact with everyone, but moreso with girls.

[Cygnus]

I know that eye-contact is important, but I often fail to practice it. At home, my husband and I seldom look each other in the eye, but we have a great relationship. I HEAR people and pick up on audible things better. Once my husband & I had spoken with a man and after he left, my husband knew the man had lied because of his body language, and I knew he was lying because of his tone of voice.
I am guilty of not always making eye contact, especially when focused on a task. It is something on working to improve for myself as well. I really hate to appear like I am not giving someone my attention (most of the time...:) ). When I sense it is something important to a person, then that person has my undivided attention. Closed friends and loved ones get eye contact almost immediately :)