How do you deal with emotion?

[athenian200]

Just a few questions to see if type has any impact on this... I'm also testing to see if there's a difference between responses to implicitly expressed emotion, and explicitly expressed emotion.

Example statement of a friend's complaint: "My mother won't let me have a cell phone."

Positive, explicit emotion: "Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. You really wanted one."
Positive, implicit emotion: "That's going to make it harder for you to communicate with people, huh?"
Neutral statement (for comparison): "My parents let me have a cell phone. I wonder why your parents act differently than mine?"
Negative, implicit emotion: "Your mother might have a good reason for that, perhaps finances or something."
Negative, explicit emotion: "Well, I'm not surprised, considering how ungrateful and irresponsible you've been in the past."

Questions

1. Is the experience of emotion for you mostly negative, mostly positive, or a reasonable amount of both?

2. Have your emotions manifested in both positive and negative ways for you in the past?

3. Do you:

A. Actively avoid dealing with anything related to emotion?

B. Find that emotion is something you tend to overlook/undervalue at times, and can deal with fairly well once it's brought to your attention?

C. Enjoy dealing with emotions when they come along?

D. Actively seek to deal with the emotions in a given situation?

4. Which of these do you experience when you perceive positive emotion in others expressed towards yourself?

A. Disgust/irritation.

B. Embarrassment or fear.

C. Curiosity.

D. Warmth/compassion.

E. Other (please explain).

5. Does your response to #4 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

6. Which of these do you experience when you perceive negative emotion in others expressed towards yourself?

A. Indifference/Apathy.

B. Confusion.

C. Anxiety.

D. Pain, anger, or sadness.

E. Other (please explain).

7. Does your response to #6 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

[INTJohn]

Emotions to me are a tool to be efficiently used & applied where/when needed.

This takes a tremendous amount of Life's experience & wisdom but is something that INTJ's are quite able to master.

Most other types - non NT's primarily - are often subject to their emotions or impulses. INTj's are subject to their thoughts - we don't "feel" as a first reaction -we Think.

Thus we can learn to "emote" - when we deem it to be an appropriate response.

An emotional response, for me anyway, is generally unproductive. It first has to be "authorized" by my rational thinking Brain. If I allow an emotional response to bypass proper channels; i.e. my rational thinking Brain, I willl usually find myself in trouble - having entered into the world of all other mindless idiots who are given & driven by emtional response/reaction.

I'm gald I'm Rational!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

INTJohn

[Hdier]

Questions

1. Is the experience of emotion for you mostly negative, mostly positive, or a reasonable amount of both?

A reasonable amount of both.

2. Have your emotions manifested in both positive and negative ways for you in the past?

Yes

3. Do you:

A. Actively avoid dealing with anything related to emotion?

To a certain extent, yes.

B. Find that emotion is something you tend to overlook/undervalue at times, and can deal with fairly well once it's brought to your attention?

Not really, my emotions are always strong, and tend to change drastically (probably more because of puberty than anything else, though)

C. Enjoy dealing with emotions when they come along?

No-no no-no no. I hate having to deal with them, because a lot of times it is difficult, and uses up time and energy (again, probably just puberty).

D. Actively seek to deal with the emotions in a given situation?

If the situation is isolated by myself, yes. Otherwise I bottle everything up until I can deal with it alone.

4. Which of these do you experience when you perceive positive emotion in others expressed towards yourself?

A. Disgust/irritation

B. Embarrassment or fear.

C. Curiosity.

D. Warmth/compassion.

E. Other (please explain).

I love it when I confuse people, and they don't know what to expect from me (generally I achieve this by acting in diffrent ways each time I interact with people, in a way that involves little socializing and is close enough to all my other 'personas' to convince you I'm the same person, and not a clone. However, I don't do this on a long term basis, or very often, most of the time).

5. Does your response to #4 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

OK, right now I feel really stupid, but I forgot what im- and ex-plicitly means. Define them for me and I will answer.

6. Which of these do you experience when you perceive negative emotion in others expressed towards yourself?

A. Indifference/Apathy.

B. Confusion.

C. Anxiety.

D. Pain, anger, or sadness.

E. Other (please explain).

It depends on who it is/what situation I'm in:

A- Strangers

B- When it is unexpected.

C- When the person has power over me (this, however, almost never stands alone. For example, if it is my dad, I will feel anxiety if I think I will be punished and Anger if I think it is unjust) (Capital 'A' in anger not mistake)

D- This is complicated, but I'll sum it up with just the anger part- when the negative emotion is unjstified

E- Random emotions that I blame puberty for, because there is not other logical explanation.

7. Does your response to #6 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

Again, please define the words.

[logan235711]

I suppose first off I'm don't think I agree with your notions of explicit/implicit positive/negative emotional enforcement--however I don't really want to derail the thread so just keep in mind that I'm probably answering from different notions at some points.

1. Is the experience of emotion for you mostly negative, mostly positive, or a reasonable amount of both?
I view most peoples' emotion as either have good intent or if mean, not being directed towards me. It is rare to have someone ever speak negatively to me directly (i.e. name calling, put-downs, etc.), however if they do I quickly try to resolve it and consider what I could have done and do in the future to prevent any conflict on a personal level. In general I don't let other peoples' expressions make me feel bad, but I will let it effect me as I take time to consider their feelings and emotions.

2. Have your emotions manifested in both positive and negative ways for you in the past?
Everyone has done both in the past. Are you ask how people in this questionaire frequently manifest their emotions currently? Are you asking if people go through fits and bouts of emoting different ways? Etc. What are you asking?

3. Do you:

A. Actively avoid dealing with anything related to emotion?

No, I deal with it as it comes, and sometimes I explore emotions to gain a better understanding of things.

B. Find that emotion is something you tend to overlook/undervalue at times, and can deal with fairly well once it's brought to your attention?
I'm not sure anyone has an absolute grasp on their emotions, so there is always some sort of undervalue in some area that could be tapped into. I would consider that I explore them more-so than most people and have a better understanding of them than many. I enjoy confronting emotions and looking at them straight in the face ;)

Dealing with emotions is different for every situations. It largely seems to depend on how rapidly you try to integrate different emotions. For example, if you try to get through a situation that is bringing up certain emotions, then throw in another situation before the other one is even settled, it will likely make it more difficult. It is up to each person on how they approach this area--how they bring it up for themselves. Also, it might be that many times we can't settle our emotions until a bag of others are settled or in the process, so perhaps at times we are forced to take on many at a time if we want to have any hope for more closure/solution. Many people cannot currently handle this--or never grow to approach it so might be left staggering in some areas. But who knows! Maybe there are many ways to get around even this :D

C. Enjoy dealing with emotions when they come along?
I try to get the most out of it when they come along--so yes.

D. Actively seek to deal with the emotions in a given situation?
Perhaps everyone might seek to deal with emotions in 'a given situation,' but maybe the better notion at hand is 'How often do you seek to make 'dealing with emotions' the central aspect in your daily situations?' In that sense, I'm not too sure--I enjoy it time-to-time, explore them, and take them as they come. Also, if there is/are some emotions I am interested in I will take time to find out more about them (not just in me). So it just varies--however I use it as a tool on a daily basis if needed.


4. Which of these do you experience when you perceive positive emotion in others expressed towards yourself?

A. Disgust/irritation.
Never disgust (yet). And rarely irritation--perhaps irritation if I feel like the other person is only doing so in public display not because they care on a personal level. However, even then I usually brush it off cause it doesn't matter in the end--I'll let them enjoy their spotlite as long as it doesn't affect me too much.

B. Embarrassment or fear.
I used to become embarrassed a bit when sincere compliments came my way. I sort of still do, but it's more of humbleness in not letting it go to my head. So I let the other person know I care and let myself know that I still have much to work on : )

Never fear.

C. Curiosity.
I'm curious at heart so of course I do!

D. Warmth/compassion.
Perhaps compassion, maybe not warmth--because I try to appreciate the other person emoting their feelings towards me so they can feel safe/good in continuing to themselves. However, not all the time (don't want to paint this angelic picture of me in any sense).

E. Other (please explain).
Too many! I won't explain!

5. Does your response to #4 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?
Of course, because you might be less sure on how the comment is intended. It takes more experience with the particular person at hand to understand what they are intending when they voice themselves. So at the beginning it fluctuates and as you learn more about the person it usually becomes less variable until the explicit/implicit begin to meet at the same line so they become identical.

6. Which of these do you experience when you perceive negative emotion in others expressed towards yourself?

A. Indifference/Apathy.
I suppose I feel these because I try not to take it personally. However, I may try to figure out why the person is acting as such.

B. Confusion.
Only if I have no idea why the person is doing this! Most of the time we have 'leads' that we can use to figure out what we might have done or what is going on in their life that may have brought this on--so when we are at a lack we are usually confused : )

C. Anxiety.
Maybe if I felt a great amount from many people and it wasn't expected. Because I wouldn't have had the time to handle it (thinking and feeling it out).
Or if it is with someone whom I am very close towards, it was uncommon, and I was having trouble finding a solution for the person and me. Many other situations.

D. Pain, anger, or sadness.
I would feel these in given situations, but there's too many to explain.

E. Other (please explain).
Not too many others. Usually I just work it out and move on.

7. Does your response to #6 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?
Same as #5

Ok, I answered all your questions...Now where's my cookie! >: )

[athenian200]

Again, please define the words.

explicit

1. fully and clearly expressed or demonstrated; leaving nothing merely implied; unequivocal: explicit instructions; an explicit act of violence; explicit language.
2. clearly developed or formulated: explicit knowledge; explicit belief.
3. definite and unreserved in expression; outspoken: He was quite explicit as to what he expected us to do for him.

implicit

1. implied, rather than expressly stated: implicit agreement.

3. potentially contained (usually fol. by in): to bring out the drama implicit in the occasion.

Tip: If you want to remember the definitions of these words, think about the meanings of "expressed," and "implied."

And, the words as I'm trying to use them:

Example statement of a friend's complaint: "My mother won't let me have a cell phone."

Positive, explicit emotion: "Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. You really wanted one."
Positive, implicit emotion: "That's going to make it harder for you to communicate with people, huh?"
Neutral statement (for comparison): "My parents let me have a cell phone. I wonder why your parents act differently than mine?"
Negative, implicit emotion: "Your mother might have a good reason for that, perhaps finances or something."
Negative, explicit emotion: "Well, I'm not surprised, considering how ungrateful and irresponsible you've been in the past."

Emotions to me are a tool to be efficiently used & applied where/when needed.

This takes a tremendous amount of Life's experience & wisdom but is something that INTJ's are quite able to master.

Most other types - non NT's primarily - are often subject to their emotions or impulses. INTj's are subject to their thoughts - we don't "feel" as a first reaction -we Think.

Thus we can learn to "emote" - when we deem it to be an appropriate response.

An emotional response, for me anyway, is generally unproductive. It first has to be "authorized" by my rational thinking Brain. If I allow an emotional response to bypass proper channels; i.e. my rational thinking Brain, I will usually find myself in trouble - having entered into the world of all other mindless idiots who are given & driven by emotional response/reaction.

I'm gald I'm Rational!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

INTJohn

I understand that the first response of a Thinking type is not going to be emotional in nature. My questions were intended to assess how you tend to respond to emotion when it is directed at you, or when you confront it. Even though my first response would be Feeling, I can still make Thinking judgments when called upon to do so. Are INTJ's are less versatile in this regard?

I highly doubt that you aren't influenced by emotions... for one thing, you expressed that you were "glad" you were a Rational (at least that was my assumption, since you were either trying to spell that or "gold."), and used an excessive number of exclamation points to indicate this. To be glad is a form of happiness, and the use of excessive exclamation points indicates excitement. Both of these are emotions. Do you deny that?

Here are my answers to the questions, in case you're curious...


1. Is the experience of emotion for you mostly negative, mostly positive, or a reasonable amount of both?

Both, actually.

2. Have your emotions manifested in both positive and negative ways for you in the past?

Yes.

3. Do you:

A. Actively avoid dealing with anything related to emotion?

B. Find that emotion is something you tend to overlook/undervalue at times, and can deal with fairly well once it's brought to your attention?

C. Enjoy dealing with emotions when they come along?

D. Actively seek to deal with the emotions in a given situation?

Most of the time, C. Occasionally B or D.

4. What do you experience when you perceive positive emotion in others towards yourself?

A. Disgust/irritation.

B. Embarrassment or fear.

C. Curiosity.

D. Warmth/compassion.

E. Other (please explain).


Mostly D.

5. Does your response to #4 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

Almost always D in response to implicit, and most of the time in response to explicit, unless it's extremely overflowing/gushing and draws attention to me, in which case it would be B.

6. What do you experience when you perceive negative emotion in others towards yourself?

A. Indifference/Apathy.

B. Confusion.

C. Anxiety.

D. Pain, anger, or sadness.

E. Other (please explain).

If I care about the person, D. If I already dislike the person or feel a strong need to control the outcome, A. C is mostly if the person is in a position of power/influence over me, and I'm concerned about whether they will do something to my reputation. B is mostly if I don't perceive the emotion they reacted to.

7. Does your response to #6 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

Yes. I'm more likely to feel A or D in response to explicit negative emotion. B or C are more likely if it's implicit.

[Hdier]

Thanks, athenian200, I will now try to answer the two questions.


5. Does your response to #4 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

Yes, it does. If it is implicit (similar to implied right?) than I am never quite sure that the person actually feels positively. I constantly doubt myself when it comes to other peoples emotions/feelings/etc. (not sure why, though. I'm absolutely confidant in everything else)

7. Does your response to #6 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

Pretty much the same as #5.

[Paul V]

Just a few questions to see if type has any impact on this... I'm also testing to see if there's a difference between responses to implicitly expressed emotion, and explicitly expressed emotion.

Example statement of a friend's complaint: "My mother won't let me have a cell phone."

Positive, explicit emotion: "Aw, I'm sorry to hear that. You really wanted one."
Positive, implicit emotion: "That's going to make it harder for you to communicate with people, huh?"
Neutral statement (for comparison): "My parents let me have a cell phone. I wonder why your parents act differently than mine?"
Negative, implicit emotion: "Your mother might have a good reason for that, perhaps finances or something."
Negative, explicit emotion: "Well, I'm not surprised, considering how ungrateful and irresponsible you've been in the past."

Questions

1. Is the experience of emotion for you mostly negative, mostly positive, or a reasonable amount of both?

Depends on the person I'm talking to. If I regard that person positively, I'll experience a positive emotion, if I regard that person negatively, I'll experience a negative emotion, and if I regard that person neutrally, I'll experience a neutral emotion.

2. Have your emotions manifested in both positive and negative ways for you in the past?

Yes. Usually, either when I like a person, but I know they deserved it, or when I don't like them, but I still sympathise.

3. Do you:

A. Actively avoid dealing with anything related to emotion?

This one. I don't think I handle emotion well.

B. Find that emotion is something you tend to overlook/undervalue at times, and can deal with fairly well once it's brought to your attention?

C. Enjoy dealing with emotions when they come along?

D. Actively seek to deal with the emotions in a given situation?

4. Which of these do you experience when you perceive positive emotion in others expressed towards yourself?

A. Disgust/irritation.

B. Embarrassment or fear.

C. Curiosity.

D. Warmth/compassion.

E. Other (please explain).

Ranges from A to E depending on who's expressing it.

5. Does your response to #4 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

Again, completely depends on the person. I don't mind bluntness at all (being a blunt person myself), but I sometimes find Implicit emotions something cunning and/or conceited.

6. Which of these do you experience when you perceive negative emotion in others expressed towards yourself?

A. Indifference/Apathy.

B. Confusion.

C. Anxiety.

D. Pain, anger, or sadness.

E. Other (please explain).

Again, completely depends on who is expressing it. Towards 99% of the people I know, A. Though I might experience B to D if it's someone I care for).

7. Does your response to #6 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

As my answer to question 5.

[OneBadMother]

1. Is the experience of emotion for you mostly negative, mostly positive, or a reasonable amount of both?

Usually not a good thing, though sometimes I do feel ecstatic.

2. Have your emotions manifested in both positive and negative ways for you in the past?

Yup.

3. Do you:

A. Actively avoid dealing with anything related to emotion?

B. Find that emotion is something you tend to overlook/undervalue at times, and can deal with fairly well once it's brought to your attention?

C. Enjoy dealing with emotions when they come along?

D. Actively seek to deal with the emotions in a given situation?
I generally rationalize the emotions away in myself, and avoid having to deal with it in others. :P

4. Which of these do you experience when you perceive positive emotion in others expressed towards yourself?

A. Disgust/irritation.

B. Embarrassment or fear.

C. Curiosity.

D. Warmth/compassion.

E. Other (please explain).
It depends. I'm kind of wary, and might be skeptical as to what motives there are behind it, or whether I misunderstood it. I'd be especially on my guard if it were a particularly strong display of emotion that I didn't feel was warranted. If it seems genuine enough I kind of give a shrug, unless it's from someone I really care about, in which case I feel pretty happy.

5. Does your response to #4 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?
No change, except with the latter I have more doubts in my mind about whether I actually saw it at all. With the former, if it doesn't seem warranted, I'd be somewhat on my guard. Again, if it was from someone I really cared about and I felt it had been earned, I would be quite happy.

6. Which of these do you experience when you perceive negative emotion in others expressed towards yourself?

A. Indifference/Apathy.

B. Confusion.
A lot of times, yes. Again, I get doubts as to whether those emotions were there at all, or I was imagining it.

C. Anxiety.
If it's obvious, vehement, and a person that I'm going to have a hell of a time avoiding, I definitely feel anxiety. The last thing I want is someone who's out to sabotage my life for no particular reason but pure malevolence.

D. Pain, anger, or sadness.
Not pain or sadness, but a bit of anger sometimes. It goes with the confusion part, where I try to figure out what reason that person has for being that way towards me.

E. Other (please explain).

7. Does your response to #6 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?
If it's implicitly expressed, there's a good chance I'll dismiss it or not pick up on it. If it's explicitly expressed, it depends on exactly how strong that emotion was. If it was pure, unfiltered hatred, I think I would be kind of petrified, and my "cut this person out of my life" instinct would flip on. If it were uncalled-for insults that I can't think of any good reason for, I might get angry and talk back, or get angry and stay quiet until I go back to neutral.

[The Many]

1. Is the experience of emotion for you mostly negative, mostly positive, or a reasonable amount of both?

Good question. Experiencing "feeling" is often quite wierd. Feelings such as those of relief, happiness and joy are of course always positive, whilst other emotions often are more scary - especially those involving other people. Depression and that kind of stuff is of course not usually particularly nice, but on the other hand actually feeling is a quite interesting in itself.

2. Have your emotions manifested in both positive and negative ways for you in the past?

I have spent months in deep depression, which obviously was quite negative. On the other hand I learnt quite a lot out of it too, but of course it wasn't particularly nice. Most often I will however experience more "positive" than "negative" emotions, so overall I quite enjoy life and what it throws my way.

3. Do you:

A. Actively avoid dealing with anything related to emotion?

B. Find that emotion is something you tend to overlook/undervalue at times, and can deal with fairly well once it's brought to your attention?

C. Enjoy dealing with emotions when they come along?

D. Actively seek to deal with the emotions in a given situation?

C, definitely. Some emotions are worth feeling, some are not. Those which are not are usually ignored or thought through, so I get myself out of feeling them... on the other hand, there is something very beautiful about emotions in general so they certainly have their appeal. I do however tend to decide on what I allow myself to feel, after all anger is often too counterproductive to be worth it.

4. Which of these do you experience when you perceive positive emotion in others expressed towards yourself?




A. Disgust/irritation.

B. Embarrassment or fear.

C. Curiosity.

D. Warmth/compassion.

E. Other (please explain).

It varies. When coming from some overtly touchy-feely NF, I often get disgusted with it, sometimes even embarrased. If I am however prepared (well, more or less) for it and respect the person showing their emotions, the moments may turn ethereal and set colour to the grey-scale that people often use to equate life.

5. Does your response to #4 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

No. When implicitly stated I usually don't get it... it's the usual INTJ second-guessing in social situations that settles in.

6. Which of these do you experience when you perceive negative emotion in others expressed towards yourself?

A. Indifference/Apathy.

B. Confusion.

C. Anxiety.

D. Pain, anger, or sadness.

E. Other (please explain).

Again it depends on the emotion and the situation. In many cases I only end up pitying (or well, not pitying, but rather intellectually dismiss) the person who comes up with such judgements. I used to get more angry at such things, but I don't get mad in the way I used to, primarily due to understanding others better these days. If someone manages to hit a soft spot they tend to hit very hard though, especially with my previous history of depression.

7. Does your response to #6 change depending on whether the emotion is explicitly or implicitly expressed? If so, how?

No. Once again, if implicitly expressed I often don't get it. Either that, or I will start to analyze the situation which will have it lose its edge.