Empathy

[Puffi]

Do you understand people's behavior? Why is that person crying? Why did he lie? Why does she want to see that movie? Etc.

What I've been doing my whole life is analyzing people's behavior. I always know why people do what they do at least to some extent. What shocks me is that many people have no clue. I've helped a lot of people with relationships and emotional problems just by telling them why they're acting how they are. How can you not know why you're doing things? I always know. Or if I don't, I'll think about it for a few seconds and I will.

Also, do you feel pain when people around you do? Do you relate to them so much you can feel what they feel? Or do you only understand them?

It's all pretty black and white with me. Either I feel just about nothing, or I feel a lot, even for small things. It all depends on the "worth" of the person.

[Solaris]

I'd add more, but most of it would be redundant. Remove the bit about feeling what others feel, and I'm there. I have some F friends and I often find myself providing validation for their emotions, or explaining to them why they are overreacting. With my own emotions, some friends describe me as having an on and an off setting and nothing else.

[Lights]

Also, do you feel pain when people around you do? Do you relate to them so much you can feel what they feel? Or do you only understand them?

It's all pretty black and white with me. Either I feel just about nothing, or I feel a lot, even for small things. It all depends on the "worth" of the person.

Feeling what others feel is an Fe trait, indicative of an INFJ. As are fuzzy animals.

[Puffi]

Feeling what others feel is an Fe trait, indicative of an INFJ. As are fuzzy animals.

Yup. Still I'm a pretty high T. What the MBTI fails to measure are people who feel a lot, but can think at the same time. My emotional reactions go through my thoughts. Like the avatar bunny. I like it not just because it's cute, but because it has a lot of symbolic meaning due to its cuteness - hence it's intellectually beautiful, which sparks emotions.

[INTJgal]

i totally get why people do what they do.

it's the me-interacting with this knowledge that takes mental work to figure out.

[Lights]

Yup. Still I'm a pretty high T. What the MBTI fails to measure are people who feel a lot, but can think at the same time. My emotional reactions go through my thoughts. Like the avatar bunny. I like it not just because it's cute, but because it has a lot of symbolic meaning due to its cuteness - hence it's intellectually beautiful, which sparks emotions.

Well if you think the INTJ description matches you best then I can't disagree with your assessment. However, the INTJs I have met are usually oblivious to the feelings of others and don't care to even take notice. The only analytical type I've ever known to express strong empathy are INFJs and as one, I consider your description of analyzing and interpreting other people's behavior to be spot on.

[Hypomanic]

I can see into people's soles. :freak:

[Lights]

I can see into people's soles. :freak:

Here, let me help.

*Stands on Hypo's face*

:p

[Emma]

Very often I can understand people's reactions and feelings. But it remains an impassionate appreciation.

I understand, but I don't sympathise with them unless they are in a "real" predicament.

And I can't stand people who don't even try to have a grip on themselves when they are dealing with others, and instead take out their own personal feelings (anger, frustration...) on innocent passers-by :irked:.

[athenian200]

Do you understand people's behavior? Why is that person crying? Why did he lie? Why does she want to see that movie? Etc.

What I've been doing my whole life is analyzing people's behavior. I always know why people do what they do at least to some extent. What shocks me is that many people have no clue. I've helped a lot of people with relationships and emotional problems just by telling them why they're acting how they are. How can you not know why you're doing things? I always know. Or if I don't, I'll think about it for a few seconds and I will.

Also, do you feel pain when people around you do? Do you relate to them so much you can feel what they feel? Or do you only understand them?

It's all pretty black and white with me. Either I feel just about nothing, or I feel a lot, even for small things. It all depends on the "worth" of the person.

This is very similar to what I do... I'm always coming up with new ideas and patterns to explain people's behavior, and it really does matter to me what the people I care about feel, so I'm focused on trying to understand what they feel.

For instance, I once came up with the idea of an "inverted radius" to describe one particular INxP's approach to responding to explicit emotional expressions. It's as if they tended to be more comfortable dealing with emotions expressed by people they don't know well, being able to ignore them and give a default response. As they come to value the person more, explicit emotional expressions begin to become more overwhelming for them, and it causes them more stress.

I tend to empathize and feel the emotion with them to some extent, if I can relate to or care about their situation. I don't empathize with people I dislike, however.

[Max T]

I can see into people's soles. :freak:

Here, let me help.

*Stands on Hypo's face*
:p

Lol!

I can see into people's soils...

(Urggh!).

[Kfbr]

I can read other peoples feelings and emotions, I just don't care about them :x

[Hypomanic]

Here, let me help.

*Stands on Hypo's face*

Lol!

I can see into people's soils...

(Urggh!).

LMFAO.

No, I don't think I'd be bragging about that. ;)

[rwyatt365]

I often can examine what people do and formulate plausible explanations for why they are doing it. What I have a problem with is understanding the motivation for engaging in irrational behavior. For example;
Man beats wife
Wife wonders why
*look into crystal ball* it's because he is filled with displaced anger, you should leave him
Wife stays because "I love him"
*empathy/sympathy breaks down*
*????* "love" is one thing, a butt-whipping every other day is "something else" GET OUT!
When irrationality steps in, I step out.

[Myrak]

I enjoy analysing people's behaviour patterns for my own personal interest, but when it comes to empathising feeling-wise with most people I just can't. Most times I'll just feign interest and emotion to keep them quiet, "Ohh... that sucks / That's great!" etc. My family and close friends I can relate and empathise much better with because I know them well; but casual acquaintances and distant 'friends' I just cbf.

[blueback]

What shocks me is that many people have no clue. I've helped a lot of people with relationships and emotional problems just by telling them why they're acting how they are. How can you not know why you're doing things? .

Emotions are reactive, they only occur in response to something in the environment (internal or external). Since most people wander through their lives with little concious intent, their emotions come as a suprise to them. If not a suprise, at least something they can't control. People fail to understand that emotions can be controlled simply by controlling the environment.

[Paul V]

Do you understand people's behavior? Why is that person crying? Why did he lie? Why does she want to see that movie? Etc.

What I've been doing my whole life is analyzing people's behavior. I always know why people do what they do at least to some extent. What shocks me is that many people have no clue. I've helped a lot of people with relationships and emotional problems just by telling them why they're acting how they are. How can you not know why you're doing things? I always know. Or if I don't, I'll think about it for a few seconds and I will.

Also, do you feel pain when people around you do? Do you relate to them so much you can feel what they feel? Or do you only understand them?

It's all pretty black and white with me. Either I feel just about nothing, or I feel a lot, even for small things. It all depends on the "worth" of the person.

That is exactly what I think and do. I strive to understand everything, not just people. I personally believe that the more you understand the variables involved, the more likely it is for your plans to succeed.

[Solaris]

That is exactly what I think and do. I strive to understand everything, not just people. I personally believe that the more you understand the variables involved, the more likely it is for your plans to succeed.

Yes!

[I'm Thinking...]

That is exactly what I think and do. I strive to understand everything, not just people. I personally believe that the more you understand the variables involved, the more likely it is for your plans to succeed.

Brilliant!!
Nice, simple summary...always impressive!
(now to get back to my plans....)

[TruorTupnm]

I have always used empathy as a curse word. Pretty achingly sickening. Humans who employ it seem to simper, "Oh, how might I assist? Aw, you look depressed. You should lighten upwards." Creepier voice, "Join the collective..." :rolleyes: Empathetic types are affected by their own emotions as well as other people's. Sounds horrifying. I went to some little course to get a certificate to be a unit secretary. They told me that I was good at everything except empathy. I wondered why such would be necessary. oh well. I can figure people out and help them, but I usually only attempt with humans that I know. I raise my eyebrow at most that I don't. :rolleyes:

[Ice Wolf]

I can read some people. Usually those close to me.

Usually I detect some behavioral anomaly. Then I start searching for similar experiences from the past. Sometimes I am able to connect with the subject but it seems this is possible only if I've ever been similar position.

[Henry]

Do you understand people's behavior? Why is that person crying? Why did he lie? Why does she want to see that movie? Etc.

What I've been doing my whole life is analyzing people's behavior. I always know why people do what they do at least to some extent. What shocks me is that many people have no clue. I've helped a lot of people with relationships and emotional problems just by telling them why they're acting how they are. How can you not know why you're doing things? I always know. Or if I don't, I'll think about it for a few seconds and I will.

Also, do you feel pain when people around you do? Do you relate to them so much you can feel what they feel? Or do you only understand them?

It's all pretty black and white with me. Either I feel just about nothing, or I feel a lot, even for small things. It all depends on the "worth" of the person.

Empathy in the sense of attempting to stand in that person's shoes and see the world through their eyes really enhances decision making in a lot of situations. It almost always will lead to better decisions and there's little teary-eyed about it.

Sympathy is feeling what they feel. It generally does not help one make better decisions, and it usually gets teary-eyed.

[edalz]

Do you understand people's behavior? Why is that person crying? Why did he lie? Why does she want to see that movie? Etc.

What I've been doing my whole life is analyzing people's behavior. I always know why people do what they do at least to some extent. What shocks me is that many people have no clue. I've helped a lot of people with relationships and emotional problems just by telling them why they're acting how they are. How can you not know why you're doing things? I always know. Or if I don't, I'll think about it for a few seconds and I will.

Also, do you feel pain when people around you do? Do you relate to them so much you can feel what they feel? Or do you only understand them?

It's all pretty black and white with me. Either I feel just about nothing, or I feel a lot, even for small things. It all depends on the "worth" of the person.

People that know me well come to me when they have a problem because they know that I can work it out and help them understand what's happening, why it's happening and what to do about it.

I definitely have empathy in the sense that I can understand other people's situations, but I rarely feel anything unless I'm remembering a similar situation I was in or I can imagine myself in the situation (even so, the feeling is usually limited). Sometimes a feel a tinge of pity for the unfortunate people that wander across the road of life blindly and then wonder why they got hit by an emotional semi-truck.

[rwyatt365]

Empathy in the sense of attempting to stand in that person's shoes and see the world through their eyes really enhances decision making in a lot of situations. It almost always will lead to better decisions and there's little teary-eyed about it.

Sympathy is feeling what they feel. It generally does not help one make better decisions, and it usually gets teary-eyed.
Well put Henry. Being able to step out of your paradigm and enter into someone else's is a valuable asset. I think that the INTJs Ni and Te functions work together to enable that empathetic insight. The Ni gives us the insight into the hidden, paradoxical motivations of others while the Te allow us to synthesize those into a "system" that is a representation of that other person's "world" that we – in turn – see as their viewpoint.

Unfortunately, I think we get confused and baffled by people with large Se or Fe components to their personality. We just don't "get" how they operate and so our ingisht is cloudy and indistinct.

[The Rose]

Do you understand people's behavior? Why is that person crying? Why did he lie? Why does she want to see that movie? Etc.

What I've been doing my whole life is analyzing people's behavior. I always know why people do what they do at least to some extent. What shocks me is that many people have no clue. I've helped a lot of people with relationships and emotional problems just by telling them why they're acting how they are. How can you not know why you're doing things? I always know. Or if I don't, I'll think about it for a few seconds and I will.

Also, do you feel pain when people around you do? Do you relate to them so much you can feel what they feel? Or do you only understand them?

It's all pretty black and white with me. Either I feel just about nothing, or I feel a lot, even for small things. It all depends on the "worth" of the person.Yes, I've always felt it's been a "gift" for lack of a better way to describe it. I know not everyone is good at it. It's a somewhat INTJish trait I think.

It's hard for me also, to understand how someone can be so out of touch with their motives.

The Rose added, 3 Minutes and 32 Seconds later...

Well if you think the INTJ description matches you best then I can't disagree with your assessment. However, the INTJs I have met are usually oblivious to the feelings of others and don't care to even take notice. The only analytical type I've ever known to express strong empathy are INFJs and as one, I consider your description of analyzing and interpreting other people's behavior to be spot on.I don't tend to take notice of people's feelings either.
I was thinking more of my ability to understand the motives for their behavior.
I think that's the Ni at work maybe.

[Solaris]

A friend of mine told me once that he's always trying to figure out people's motives (he later tested as an INTJ, so that makes sense). I think he does it for his own reasons, because he wants to know. I do this same thing, but not just for my own understanding. Since I am driven for everyone to be genuine and growing all the time, I want them to understand as well. However, I am usually only good at this with people I know well, others I can't figure out.

[robin.]

I'd add more, but most of it would be redundant. Remove the bit about feeling what others feel, and I'm there. I have some F friends and I often find myself providing validation for their emotions, or explaining to them why they are overreacting. With my own emotions, some friends describe me as having an on and an off setting and nothing else.This describes me very well. I have a great handle on my own emotions, I'm always the one people come to for advice and I can usually give spot on answers as to why someone is acting a certain way etc...BUT I can't deal with emotional situations to which I can't apply logic. For instance, I become VERY unsettled when someone starts to cry. I don't like the idea of uncontrolled emotions. Also, the only thing I know how to do is give advice, and when someone is crying, sometimes they just want a hug and to be told "it's okay." But I can't do that.

As for one of Puffi's other questions...I can understand why people feel the way that they do, but I never actually empathize with them and feel the same emotion simply because that's what they're going through.

[Solnath]

I understand the patterns of human behaviour. On the keenest days, I can predict with almost perfect accuracy what those I'm attuned to (those I spend time with on a regular basis) are about to say or thinking. Sometimes it even works on relative strangers, hence I keep it something of a secret so they don't burn me as a warlock. It has a tendency to creep people out when you finish their sentences before they've said the first word.