Let's Spread Rumors

[Onigumo13]

^Makes me want to dive into a swimming pool full of salt water and cheese graters just to escape the monotony.

^*Pushes MassHysteria in to the pool drops a the cherished toaster of the lamebot , directly in to the pool ;D* "Adios MassHysteria , I had adored you quite strongly pinche puta :rolleyes: "

[GenessorDios]

Cynthia! Nooooo....

When ^ least expects it, his uppance will come....

[MassHysteria]

^Bought the toaster with the extra narrow bagel slot, and she was the only woman who even felt his antenna at all.

[GenessorDios]

It's not my fault! The guy at the hardware store said the trend was towards smaller models!....

*composes thoughts*

^ wears radioactive clothes to rave parties just to stand out.

[Taste of peat]

^ mixes beer with battery oil and melt ice.

[GenessorDios]

^'s cravings are such that he brings homemade ice cream to work everyday in an ice box. It barely sates him.

[Onigumo13]

^Received a charge from a toaster , and got pregnant.....will Lamebotsia ever name it Toaster Jr no one is aware of for sure :rolleyes:

[MassHysteria]

^Doesn't seem to realize that every once in awhile, his comments are sort of funny and halfway clever.... until he adds a second half that throws the whole thing off balance.

[Taste of peat]

^ is secretly redheaded.

[GenessorDios]

^'s only hope of being a redhead is smearing his head with honey and hoping fire ants come for a visit.

[Fyrnae]

GD turned into a redhead once by putting his head into a furnace (this also explains his fried brains).

[Taste of peat]

^ goes to forest during nights and prays some ancient pagan gods...

[Fyrnae]

^ thinks this is the 'truth' thread.

[reiven]

^ has never, ever, hit a bong.

[Onigumo13]

^Has a vivid collection of adult movies , sells them to youngsters secretly in order to make a profit . So he could finally screw over the government :)

[Fyrnae]

^ provides him with these dubious films, starring local girls.

[RedOrange823]

^only knows this 'cause she's a 'local girl'

[GenessorDios]

Stop!
in the name of love
or
^
will
break
your heart.

[Fyrnae]

^ thought he was a 1337 but realised that he was a Supreme instead.

[GenessorDios]

Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time ever, I shall shed some light on the enigma that is ^. Now I present to you a dossier that I have compiled.

Occupation: Cementer
Real Occupation: Professional Deathifier
Modus Operandi: Victims are bored to death over a specified period of time, depending on if the client wishes for them to be tortured. Topics include the intricacies of stock portfolio diversification, comparison of paintbrush bristle thickness and experiences in the fast-paced world of turtle-fighting. For particularly merciless clients, cyanide pills barely below the toxic amount is left in close vicinity. Those wishing for a quick death are always sorely disappointed (She polls them five minutes before ToD).
Age: Let's just say she's taken down many a Cretacean in her time.

If I die under mysterious circumstances after the revelation of this information, the world will know why. At least I know I have done my part to expose this menace to society. Elongated life to the freeness of informative data!

[Fyrnae]

:laugh:

^ has nothing better to do than to create such fantasies.

What's wrong with paintbrush thicknesses? :suspicious:

[GenessorDios]

Nothing. Which is why you have one less way to kill me.

It has come to my attention that ^ regularly sings power ballads to her pet horse.

It patiently waits for death.

[Fyrnae]

When ^ sings, all the dogs within a 5 mile radius howl in sheer agony.

[GenessorDios]

Sounds like the plot to a Steban King novel.

[Cooper]

recycles himself for the money and the....thrill

[Fyrnae]

^ gets thrilled just thinking about it.

[GrnEyz]

^wants to ride in my Z06 Corvette and stick her head out the window.

[RedOrange823]

^wishes he could ride something other than his Corvette ;)

[GrnEyz]

wants me but can't figure out how to get me.

[RedOrange823]

^he wants me to want him
he needs me to need me
he'd love for me to love him
he's begging for me to beg him...

[GrnEyz]

the feelings grow but the target remains elusive

[RedOrange823]

^collects animal crackers as friends so he has someone to talk to

[GrnEyz]

desperately seeks access to my stable of double jointed nymphos

[RedOrange823]

^is now considering collecting goldfish crackers to keep the animal crackers company when he's away...

[GrnEyz]

pulled some pork bones out of the dumpster behind Food City and made a necklace out of them in order to attract a mongrel

[Fyrnae]

^ doesn't know what a mongrel is, and yet strangely that's all he ever dates.

[Minerva]

^and mongrels are all she ever eats...

[Fyrnae]

^ picks up strays outside the local booze-up.

[Minerva]

Picks up stray men after they booze-up.

[Fyrnae]

^ waits for me to get done with them. She's hanging outside my place right now in hopes of some sloppy seconds.

[Minerva]

*lol*

^Needs to be drunk in order to feel good.

[Fyrnae]

*lol as if*

^ rummages through my trash

[RedOrange823]

^puts secret love letters to Minerva in her trash in the hopes she'll find them whilst rummaging

[GenessorDios]

^'s nick was obtained after she saw a blue apple. :laugh: How silly of her!



Edit: To activate the humorosity of the previous statement, please read the following information first; ^ is colorblind and uneducated.

[RedOrange823]

^too bad tin men can't taste the wonder of blue apples

[Fyrnae]

^ has many strange plants, all of them blue.

[reiven]

^ has no strange plants, sticky and red fibered

[Fyrnae]

^ has never had any of what I haven't got.

[reiven]

^ stood on a street corner yelling out to traffic will work for placard cardboard and a black magic marker

[GenessorDios]

They call ^ Health Code Harry because he inadvertently shuts down any restaurant he eats at. Apparently he's like the Pied Piper for roaches.

[Fyrnae]

^ opens all their tins for them with his teeth.

[GenessorDios]

^'s join date is actually Jan 2010 BC.

[Fyrnae]

^ promised not to tell

[reiven]

due to a quirk in the taxidermy laws, it is unlawful to take ^ as a prize in months not containing an R

[jonnyb]

^Available to take as a prize in all months containing an R.

[GenessorDios]

^'s most prized possession is the ball of belly button lint he's been collecting since he was 9. It was the one thing he saved when his house was hit by flash floods.

[reiven]

^ is one studious, focused mind;
latin, german, trans-lateral economics, physics, renaissance poetry, chemistry...


damn, i was snaked by GD.

[Fyrnae]

^ was all of the above, then he woke from his afternoon nap.

[RedOrange823]

^is well-versed in the art of one-player ping pong

[Rudy]

I heard that RedOrange prefers blue flavored coffee...

Yeah, I don't know what that is, either.

[reiven]

rudy put himself through culinary school working nightly on brakes at pep boys

[Rudy]

Good thing they gave me nightly breaks, though. Nap time.

Anyway, I heard reiven once scaled a two story building using only a 12-foot ladder. I know I was impressed.

[reiven]

rudy has a birthmark in the shape of denmark

[Fyrnae]

I saw someone from Denmark that looked just like ^ -- a bog body. Relative of yours, reiven?

[reiven]

by the time mike nesbit's mom invented liquid paper, ^ had been using the little bottles of Testors Paints in white to do the same exact thing.

[jonnyb]

^Reiven's diet consists of partially cooked chicken to maintain bowel regularity.

[RedOrange823]

^what was jonnyb dreaming about whilst passed out that made him suck on a beer bottle? I will let you use your imaginations on that one...

[jonnyb]

^RO uses vague ramblings to incite the masses.

[RedOrange823]

^lost his left pinky toe in an incinerator.

[jonnyb]

^RO pierced her LT nipple with a bacula bone due to a lost bet.

[RedOrange823]

^'s ex-girlfriend gave him a Prince Albert while he was sleeping as a payback for his giving her an STD

[jonnyb]

^Consistently confuses STD for the FTD floral company.

[RedOrange823]

^oh okay, my bad... jonnyb's girlfriend gave him a Prince Albert while he was sleeping in order to say thank you for his giving her flowers. Yup, my bad, that makes much more sense.

[reiven]

^ had such an aggravating voice coupled with chronic halitosis in high school, everyone knew that RO stood for rough opening

[jonnyb]

^Has, and encourages, anorexia contests with teenage girls.

[pottersjar]

^Reiven lives as a recluse and is obsessed with finding a piece of jewelry he lost, even if finding it means the end of the world and his own destruction.

[reiven]

^^ does carpentry work in front of a mirror...there's just something about seeing a man in a tool belt.

^ made his own chess set from lumps of earth

[pottersjar]

^Johnnyb lurks around and quickly posts messages while I am drafting one, making mine out of place.

---------- Post added 10-02-2010 at 07:34 AM ----------

^Reiven conspires with Johnnyb and is basically a follower.

[jonnyb]

^Pottersjar has the same amount of posts as the years Jesus was when he died. Just as well be dead for how slow he is.

^^Reiven claims to be the resurected Budda.

[reiven]

jonnyb posted, just so i could respond and snake potterdude.

[jonnyb]

^Frequently impersonates ER doctors so that he can run away with the severed body parts injured people bring in. He has an acquired taste for dislodged fingers and toes.

[reiven]

^ believes if dahmer had been more sophisticated, he would've worked in a hospital.

[cannotseethe]

^ eats broccoli raw

[reiven]

cst was the only one in the second grade who wouldn't eat paste. he said it tingled.

[cannotseethe]

^ pasted that hat to his head 20 years ago and hasn't removed it since.

[reiven]

cant seethe has a double jointed finger that he bends completely backwards when he tires of any vocation. to avoid the costly work comp claim, they settle with him for six figures ... each time like clockwork.

[cannotseethe]

reiven never fully recovered from the tanning bed incident.

[reiven]

cst has no context of complex situations. tv commercials cause him to forget the building plot lines in a sitcom.

[cannotseethe]

reiven licks camera lenses just after having his photograph taken in a misguided attempt to reclaim his lost soul.

[reiven]

cst has decided to wear black until there is justice in malta.

[cannotseethe]

reiven thinks moths are called "malts" and are repelled by chocolate.

[reiven]

^ thinks strip malls are lesser clad versions of that whole jc penny-sears-food court thing.

[cannotseethe]

reiven keeps an eye out for zombies at the mall, occasionally jumping when he sees his own reflection in a shop window.

[reiven]

cst is the sixth of nine children. he still has trouble buying his own clothes

[cannotseethe]

reiven thinks somersaults involve hitting people when it's sunny. :(

[reiven]

cst has a scar on his left temple to his brow from running into a pole in the 8th grade. it happened right front of the practicing marching band

[cannotseethe]

One time, when no one was looking, reiven kicked a rock. He felt guilty about that for three days.

[Rudy]

I hear cannotseethe has a deep seeded fear of the color yellow... he often tells himself that he's secretly The Green Lantern in order to justify it.

[cannotseethe]

It's been said Rudy really does have cheeks of porcelain.

[reiven]

^ said i refuse to give in to the bunny schtick

[Rudy]

A little birdy told me that reiven tried to catch and eat her with his bare hands... poor birdy.

[reiven]

ruby has never been on a bicycle

[cannotseethe]

reiven has never given up his tricycle.

[Rudy]

I heard cannotseethe ties his shoes using only his teeth... impressive, to be sure, but a little scary.

[cannotseethe]

Anonymous sources tell me that Rudy once ran for governor of Wyoming, but ended his bid after a bison scandal broke.

[reiven]

^ has a high nasally voice.
you would have a viable music career if you lived here.

[cannotseethe]

4 out of 5 dentists surveyed agree: reiven has no teeth.

[Fyrnae]

^ gave those ears to Hitler as a gift personally.

[GenessorDios]

^ uses the lunar calendar exclusively. And she doesn't even use Earth's moon, the traitor. Apparently she's a big fan of Io.

[RedHead8808]

^ mother was impregnated by aliens.

[Fyrnae]

^ is not actually a redhead.

[RedHead8808]

^ has no hair... anywhere o.0

[Fyrnae]

:laugh:

^ has hair everywhere, palms included

[reiven]

fyrnugh self-published a handbook on the many little-known uses for velcro

[RedOrange823]

^self-published a self-help book on how to deal with no love, then, after horrible sales, he realized he was the only one in the world who wasn't loved.

[Fyrnae]

^ regularly transfers her behaviour on to others

[reiven]

the clothing line that ^ promoted was economical to produce, but the returns put her out of business as the leaves started falling off the limbs

[hopeworthhoping]

i heard that reiven had a third nipple.... and its lactating...

[RedHead8808]

Drinks from said third nipple.. perv.

[RedOrange823]

^knows this 'cause she broke up with reiven after he admitted letting other people drink from it besides her. it was all or nothing.

[RedHead8808]

jealous because he wants some sweet nipple nectar.

[hopeworthhoping]

redhead8808 enjoys riding unicycles w/no seat in her basement while smoking opium

[RedHead8808]

HA! I laughed out loud.

HWH enjoys watching me ride my unicycle seat-less while smoking opium..

[Fyrnae]

^ asked me to film it for posterity. Then she changed her mind & burnt the film.

[RedOrange823]

^but Fyrnae made a copy.

dun dun dunnnnnnnn...

[RedHead8808]

made an extra copy that she keeps for herself.

[Fyrnae]

^ secretly gets excited at the idea.

[hopeworthhoping]

^secretly smokes crack while watching said video in slow mo reverse

[RedOrange823]

^shamelessly uses Fyrnae's leftover crack

[RedHead8808]

Stole said video MI style from Fyrnae

[RedOrange823]

^hired me, didn't pay me, abused me, tossed me out like trash then burned the last remaining copy of the unicycle-riding opium-smoking redhead8808

[RedHead8808]

HA!
Cried like a little girl when I set the video on fire..

[Fyrnae]

^ cries a lot into her secret stash of teddies. I have the recordings.

[RedOrange823]

^^cackled a shrill laugh as the tears poured out from my soul onto the floor :disappointed:

[hopeworthhoping]

^^talks dirty to me in between posts

[RedHead8808]

^^wants her own teddy

[RedOrange823]

^likes it and begs for more

snaked

^offered to sew one using the threads from her most prized clothing item

[Fyrnae]

^ wanted to unravel the threads herself

[RedOrange823]

^gave me the tools in the hopes she could watch

[hopeworthhoping]

^^secretly scrathes his butt on door knobs when he leaves a room

[RedHead8808]

smells said door knobs

[RedOrange823]

*her*

^sniffs the doorknob and collects q-tip swabs to worship

[hopeworthhoping]

^^ I heard that redorange823 was a severe closet lady gaga fan!!!

[GenessorDios]

^ thinks being engrossed in your job means working until you start to smell.

[jonnyb]

Moonlights as an esspresso maker.

[RedHead8808]

Jonnyb likes to sleep nude.... on the beach.

[hopeworthhoping]

^^likes to let dogs lick peanut butter out of her mouth

[RedHead8808]

likes to let dogs lick peanut butter off his ummm... not his mouth...

[jonnyb]

^Has a fetish thing for peanutbutter.

[RedHead8808]

^has a fetish thing for dogs..

[hopeworthhoping]

^sneaks out early in the morning just before sunrise and steals all his neighbors newspapers

[jonnyb]

^Sneaks out in nights of the new moon to steal neighbor's children.

[RedHead8808]

^ has a missing child o.0

[RedOrange823]

^moon's her neighbour's children

[jonnyb]

^Performs the calibration sniff back up test.

[hopeworthhoping]

^likes to lick his fingers after digging in his ears for wax

[RedOrange823]

^jonnyb takes the opportunity as a way to 'get to know me'

[jonnyb]

^commits autophage when she bites her cuticles.

[RedOrange823]

^is so in love with himself, he commits adultery by merely looking into the mirror

[hopeworthhoping]

^used to be G.G. Allins sex slave

[jonnyb]

^Has a slave Leah outfit to wear when the it 'feels' right.

[hopeworthhoping]

^used to be a successfull drug dealer until he became responsible for no less than 15 overdoses in the midwest

[Fyrnae]

^ overturns all stones she encounters looking for her lost shaker of salt.

[hopeworthhoping]

^ overturns all stones she encounters looking for her lost shaker of salt.

thats two rumors....im a man.....

Fyrnae was under the last rock I overturned looking for said shaker of salt

---------- Post added 10-04-2010 at 02:21 PM ----------

^a bird flew by earlier and told me that this motherfucker was a thread killer!!!

[jonnyb]

^thinks I am Jesus to resurrect this thread.

[WoodsWoman]

^has such a perfect case of megalomania the he's written up in all the textbooks.

[jonnyb]

^Likes to show off the agilities she has with her tongue.

[GrnEyz]

^prays to the Beer God every night before turning out the light.

[reiven]

dyed his mustache black for national saddam hussein month

[GrnEyz]

^put a king size baby ruth in the toilet then bragged about it.

[reiven]

Grn has no sense of the markets. he once said cell phones? right...chia pets will out live them

[GrnEyz]

^defines wireless as "throwing my hat in the air"

[reiven]

^ has a national geographic indigenous peoples montage on one wall of his study.

[Fyrnae]

^ is actually a dwarf

[reiven]

^ told me to sit still while she rounded up the other six

[GrnEyz]

^picks up dropped change under the bleachers.

[reiven]

^ still believes i was 'looking for coins' whilst under the bleachers

[Fyrnae]

A new dwarf name was suggested for ^, 'Sleazy.'

[IotaNull]

^ stares into the abyss using those glasses.

[Fyrnae]

Whilst doing so I discovered that it was the inside of ^'s skull.

[jonnyb]

^Frequently gets into heated debates as to what the opposite color of green is.

[Fyrnae]

^ red my mind lol

[hopeworthhoping]

^has a harvest of midgets to use in her shephards pie.... says it is the "spices" she so delicately balances for the flavor...

[Wry Satyr]

^devours said shepherd's pie, bones and all, and demands seconds.

[Eye on Earth]

Just ate some cat poop.

[Fyrnae]

^ served it up to him & said it was a new delicacy.

[reiven]

fyrnae is so involved with her new, um... adventures in concrete, that she has begun to speak with a sicilian accent. she says things like "can we make him go away?" and "she looks like a two cubic-yarder to me"

[Fyrnae]

^ spoke to me about joining forces & setting up a new.....enterprise.

[reiven]

^ wants me to wear a beige shirt and do my william shattner impersonation while at work.

i know. creepy, right?

[Fyrnae]

^ wants me to wear absolutely nothing.

Hold on, I must take this call.

'Fyrn's Mortuary: You stab 'em, we slab 'em. Special today on cement shoes....'

[RedHead8808]

Stabs people to get more business.

[reiven]

^ believes the way to a man's heart always involves a scalpel.

[Fyrnae]

^ brings his own

[MortalWombat]

^ tends to get there via lump hammer instead. Much messier, but also affective.

[Fyrnae]

^ forgets that the correct position for a lump hammer is the back of the skull, not the chest.

[WoodsWoman]

^is a CIA agent.

[jonnyb]

^worships the new moon.

[Cooper]

Dresses up as a beer bottle for Halloween.

[Liason]

^dresses up as a hooker to go with the beer bottle

[Fyrnae]

^ dresses up as a sequined handbag to go with the hooker to go with the beer bottle.

[WoodsWoman]

^wrote the original "100 bottles of beer on the wall".

[jonnyb]

^Has an OCD to wear a helmet when she leaves her home.

[Fyrnae]

^ puts all his empty beer bottles to other uses. I could tell you what they were, but jonnyb would have to kill me.

[Wry Satyr]

^places said empty beer bottles on her antlers asa wind chime.

[Fyrnae]

^ nips by to push them about from time to time.

[Wry Satyr]

is sad because they're empty, thus delaying the celebration.

[reiven]

wry's nickname in high school was draino, because he was arrested for making an explosive device with draino, water and a 2 liter pepsi bottle.

it's still on his record

[Wry Satyr]

Reiv didn't mention that he was horribly disfigured as the result of one such draino bomb.

[Fyrnae]

^ planted the bomb in reiven's pickup

Wry, you've got it wrong. ^^ is the last pic of reiven before the explosion.

[Bobsama]

^Alcoholic

[GenessorDios]

^ has got his daddy's eyes.

[Fyrnae]

^ has got a thing for Peter Gabriel songs

[jonnyb]

Sells antler shavings to the gelitin factory after she sells some of her plasma.

[Fyrnae]

^ thinks I get the plasma I sell from my blood.

[WoodsWoman]

^can choose to see through the eyes of any deer in the forest.

[Fyrnae]

^ just realised I've been watching her for months.

[lamplighter]

^Pretends to be a druid goddess at random Wicca gatherings in the woods.

[Fyrnae]

^ worshipped me at the last one

[lamplighter]

^was in the nude at the time

[Fyrnae]

and then ^ woke up

[WoodsWoman]

^owns stock in Pfizer Chemical

[lamplighter]

^Is the CEO of Pfizer

[WoodsWoman]

^is my personnel coordinator.

[Wry Satyr]

coordinates with her woodland surroundings.

[Fyrnae]

^ visits my interdimensional shop on a regular basis to buy some very strange things indeed.

[GenessorDios]

Are you feeling tired?
Lonely?
Depressed?

Then why not come on down to ^'s Shack of Happy Delights? Try one of the myriad mouth-meltingly mellow mints! Enjoy a deliciously decadent duck drumstick! Soothe yourself with tantalizingly tranquil trance tunes! Luxuriate in our probably pristine peesfull pool!

The Shack does not accept responsibility for any rabies, babies, crabs, scabs or chest-bursting aliens that may occur after patronizing our establishment. But you should come down anyway because we're not making any money, you selfish pricks.

[MassHysteria]

^Still wets the bed.

[Wry Satyr]

^the most infamous squirter of all time.

[lamplighter]

^Is known as "Long Tongue John" in the porno industry.

[Fyrnae]

^ has an extensive collection of Wry's videos

[GenessorDios]

^ referred to her kindergarten teachers as her overlords. She was smart, but not very well-liked.

[Cooper]

steals touristy refrigerator magnets and wears them to impress dates...

[MassHysteria]

^Wears his shoes on the wrong feet.

[Seriously]

^tried out for Hannah Montana but got turned down for being too perky.

[MassHysteria]

^Smears beef tallow under her fingernails to snack on all afternoon.

[Cooper]

favorite holiday is Flag Day

[MassHysteria]

^Thinks he's the exclusive single member of the Halloween Lovers Club.

[Cooper]

refuses to admit I am the President of said club...

[MassHysteria]

Won't let me in the club. :(

[GenessorDios]

When ^ was told she would be flying coach, she pictured a winged bus.

[Cooper]

is said winged bus

[MassHysteria]

^Rides the short winged bus.

[Cooper]

drives the short winged bus

[GenessorDios]

^ recycles paper by stapling it on trees.

[Cooper]

I heard that GD likes Tonka trucks.....if you huh, know what I mean

[MassHysteria]

^Tastes like hurting.

[GenessorDios]

^ tried to retrofit those trucks and resell them under the trade name HonkaTonka.

[Cooper]

made his million in selling mesquito eggs to fly fishermen

[MassHysteria]

^The Ice Truck Killer.

[Cooper]

I heard that Mass collects matchbooks from dwarf strip clubs