Let's Spread Rumors

[EmmaKynikos]

had to go to the emergency room to get the gerbil removed from his colon

[GrnEyz]

Wood is better than Would.

^you say the cutest things..!

[MassHysteria]

^Has always been a bully, even since his days on the playground, bogarting the tether balls and auctioning them off to the highest bidder.

[GrnEyz]

^wants me to spank her and send her to bed without her personal warming gel.

(since I'm going to bed, I suppose you can take it)

Good nite all...

[MassHysteria]

^Thinks I'd let him turn me over his knee without a fight.

[jonnyb]

^Sits in a rocking chair with her lap blanket and knitting for a few hours each night.

[MassHysteria]

^Frequently confuses my cross-stitching for knitting.

[jonnyb]

^Wants to take up crotcheting.

[MassHysteria]

^Is mesmerized by nimble-fingered women crocheting.

[jonnyb]

Uses corpse powder to entrance other people.

[MassHysteria]

Aspires to be Steven Segall's sidekick.

[jonnyb]

^Was stunt double for Punky Brewster when she was younger.

[MassHysteria]

^Was just a skinny lad, never knew no good from bad, but he knew life before he left his nursery.

[Mr Mediocre]

^'s a cowboy, on a steel horse she rides and she's wanted (waaanteeed), dead or aliiiive.

[Fyrnae]

^ Lost his sonic screwdriver.

[MortalWombat]

^ shot a man while robbing his castle

[GenessorDios]

^ once wanted a power tool so badly that, even when the cashier told him it was being sold at a -50% discount, he paid cash upfront for it and didn't even bother keeping the receipt.

[MortalWombat]

^ was just a tool, no power. :(

[GenessorDios]

I think you misspelled has.

^ borrows staplers only to lick it when the owner isn't looking, placing it saliva-side up on the rightful desk and waiting for the groans of disgust.

[MortalWombat]

^ loves it when people do that.

[Cooper]

trains cockroaches

[Anubis]

^eats gourmet cockroaches

[Desmond Linus]

^Secretly the CEO of BP

[Fyrnae]

^ doesn't know BP is primarily owned by American corps.

[MortalWombat]

^ fancypants english woman

[jonnyb]

^for some reason, she likes to have sweaty socks stuffed into her mouth.

[MassHysteria]

^Loved the idea after watching Isla Fischer tie up Vince Vaughn.

[Anubis]

^likes to call me late at night and breathe into the phone

[MassHysteria]

^Records it and plays it back on the nights I forget.

[jonnyb]

^thinks the phone is some sort of respiratory aid.

[MassHysteria]

^Buys wine based on how pretty the bottle is.

[jonnyb]

I have to....I don't drink wine.

^Mixes all her various kinds of alcohol together until the final concoction can melt stirring spoons.

[MassHysteria]

^Loves coming to my parties because I'm the only one who can get him drunk anymore.

[jonnyb]

^Keeps giving false addresses on her party invitations.

[MassHysteria]

Is receiving the proper address, he just always misreads my ''7s'' as ''1s''

[TypeINTP]

^ puts human blood in her beer O_O !!

[Anubis]

^likes to bleed into beer.

[Fyrnae]

^ asks for bloody beer every time he goes into a pub.

[Anubis]

^asks for his beer medium done

[TypeINTP]

^ Gets beer into his body .... NOT through his mouth O_O

[Fyrnae]

^administers the beer enemas

[Anubis]

^pours vodka in his eyes to go to sleep

[TypeINTP]

^ likes to be wiped aggressively while someones else shoves the beer down his throat ... WOW !

[reiven]

^ has collected 86,464 blue legos

[Fyrnae]

^ collected all his blue legos from the nests of bower birds. Now the poor birdy blokes can't get a date.

[Anubis]

^has a fetish for birds and cats... purr-curious (cue the crickets)

[Fyrnae]

^ thinks I am a bloke

[TypeINTP]

^ is a bloke ;D

[Fyrnae]

^ wants me to be a bloke

[TypeINTP]

^ is getting excited over the idea !

[jonnyb]

^Ditto

[TypeINTP]

^ is organizing an 11-way with team's mascots ...

[Fyrnae]

^ eagerly waiting an invitation to aforementioned event

[jonnyb]

^Ready for clean up with lick downs.

[TypeINTP]

^ Never cleans up ...

[Fyrnae]

^ leaves a mess wherever he goes

[TypeINTP]

^ have a Monica complex ...

[Anubis]

^is secretly a member of the new world order sent to spy on us

[Fyrnae]

^ thinks he has infiltrated the order

[MortalWombat]

^ is the top dog of the order

[reiven]

morty was in a a publix in north georgia when the most obnoxious 6 year old in the state started screaming I want it, while the mother continued to shop waiting for the kid to be quiet. mortimer had the kid in a trash bag and was half way to the dumpster before the mom and two other shoppers brought her down.

[MortalWombat]

:laugh:

^ was that child.

[reiven]

WortalMombat collects books based on their height, and has them arranged smallest to largest.

[MortalWombat]

^ half right

[Liason]

^has a gimpy nipple

[GenessorDios]

To everyone's surprise, ^ graduated college with only three murders on record.

[Fyrnae]

^ is bored with us

[GenessorDios]

^ has contracted boarditis.

[Fyrnae]

^ knew he was contagious but spread it around the boards anyway

[GenessorDios]

Do ^'s eyes look a little zombified to you? Well, that's because they are. Any expert can see that an alien being has infested this poor feline and taken the guise of its nose. Just look at those scowling nostril-eyes....

[Fyrnae]

LOL

^ flew the ship that delivered the alien infestation

[Anubis]

^set up the landing cones

[MortalWombat]

^ the alien

[TypeINTP]

^ the alien's mechanic ...

[MortalWombat]

^ Can't even change a tire.

[TypeINTP]

^ Hugs a tire every day !!

[MortalWombat]

^ tree hugger. It's almost a debilitating habit for him.. every tree must be hugged.

[TypeINTP]

^ hates trees soo much, each day she cuts off a tree just for fun ...

[Liason]

^has an ISTP on the payroll just to maintain his car

[MortalWombat]

^ has an army of lovable ENFPs.

[TypeINTP]

^ Is jealous of Liason's army ...

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks I don't have my own bundle of ENFP's

[TypeINTP]

^ is training her ENFPs to try n' kill the whole cast of Twilight ...

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks an ENFP would kill anyone

[Anubis]

^kills ESFPs for sports and makes them cagefight as she bets on their success/failure

[TypeINTP]

^ Organized the whole thing ...

[jonnyb]

^Disorganized

[MortalWombat]

^ misses Transylvania

[reiven]

when morbat came home today, her mouse was lying on it's back, hacking out it's last breath.

[MortalWombat]

^ had killed it :(

[reiven]

^ blames gas on the dog

[MortalWombat]

^ eats the dog's food; blames it on the dog

[reiven]

^eats the dog, blames it on the maid

[MortalWombat]

Eats th-
:thinking:

^ ..watches soap operas.

[reiven]

^watches soaps in spanish for the horrid overacting

[MortalWombat]

BUT CARLOS!!!

^ watches it for the shrieking latinas

[MassHysteria]

^Watches it for the shirtless Latinos.

[MortalWombat]

:flirt:

^ watches it for the delicious mexican food shots.

[reiven]

MortiusWombatu did a spanish/english translation of the book of ezekiel and took blasphemous liberties

[MortalWombat]

^ likes my version better

[reiven]

^ promised illustrations....
*waiting*

[MassHysteria]

^Illustrated the ''Song of Solomon'' all by himself.

[MortalWombat]

^ only reads books with pictures


on a side note, you reminded me of a song I love ;D
Solomon Burke (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Was all dolled up and on her way to the ball when she suddenly remembered it was next week.

[Anubis]

^dressed up as a square to go to the ball.

[phoboser]

^got his red thing stuck in Cleopatra's ear.

[MortalWombat]

^ gets his red thing stuck in places all the time.

[Fyrnae]

^ lost her red thing

[Anubis]

^wants a red thing pie

[Thirdie]

^ is the main reason for RRODs on XBox.

[Fyrnae]

^ brain is hardwired into his X-box

[Thirdie]

^ has damaged many XBoxes with whiskers.

[GenessorDios]

^ wanted to prove that he did not judge by the color of someone's skin, so he had all the pigmentation drained out from his body.

Yeah, I don't follow the logic either....

[reiven]

GD is the spokes person for M&M Mars. he nearly came to blows with a Hershey exec, after the Hershey fellow made disparaging remarks about the purity of the east indian sugar used by M&M Mars.

[GenessorDios]

^'s two big toes are so huge he can stand just on them.

[Liason]

^Has a fetish for that

[GenessorDios]

^ has a fetish about a fetish she bought.

[Fyrnae]

Has a fetish about other people's fetishes

[MortalWombat]

^ kitty fetish

[GenessorDios]

^ is the industry expert all movie producers consult to calculate how fast their credits should roll.

[MortalWombat]

^ the credits are Gen's favorite part of the movie.

[GenessorDios]

^ brings balaclavas to the bank just in case there's a robbery, so she can pretend to be a heistmeister. Also, she has a badge that says heistmeister in case the robbers get suspicious.

[MortalWombat]

^ has a plaque that says "Assistant to the Regional Manager"

[GenessorDios]

^ always loses to me in ARM wrestling contests.

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks I would wrestle over that title

[GenessorDios]

^ plays his cards close to his chest. Never won a poker game yet because he can't see his cards.

[MortalWombat]

^ keeps an ace up his sleeve at all times.

[GenessorDios]

^ moonlights as a burglar, which is devious because he sunlights as a home security salesman.

[MortalWombat]

^ only comes out a night, as to not scare the children.

[GenessorDios]

^ thinks all flashlights work by a complex system of mirrors reflecting the sun's light, even at night.

[MortalWombat]

^ constantly tries to flash people for payment. People usually just ask him to please go away.

[GenessorDios]

A small country's worth of GDP was spent to cure ^'s facial necrotizing fasciitis until they realized he was born that way.

[MortalWombat]

^ can't grow facial hair. Not even peach fuzz.
Poor fella.

[GenessorDios]

^ sent his dog away to die
but without giving reasons why.
When asked how he could be so cruel,
he said How could I love that tool?

The next one that he brought back home
possessed a head like polished dome.
Now this one will be good said he
No fur will he shed onto me.

[Cooper]

Ties himself to the rear bumpers of "Just Married" cars....

[Fyrnae]

^ would like GD tied behind your truck when we get hitched.

[GenessorDios]

^ coordinates touching her foot to her date's with setting off a mild electric charge under her date's seat so he's fooled into thinking she has such a powerful effect on him.

[GrnEyz]

^walked in on his girlfriend having sex with a toaster and sold her to a car crusher.

[Fyrnae]

^ mourned the loss of his mistress. Now burns all the toast put into him.

[GenessorDios]

Every time ^ looks in the mirror, there's always that split second where she screams in her mind What the bloody hell?! before realizing it's just her reflection. Every time.

[Fyrnae]

^ has no reflection. No wonder he is in such a state from the lack of personal grooming.

[phoboser]

^ spits at her reflection in self-disgust after one-night-stands.

[Fyrnae]

^ spits on everyone

[GenessorDios]

When flirting, ^ resorts to talking. loudly. and. robotically. because. she. thinks. that. turns. men. on.

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Secretly keeps Phoboser's spit in little jars

[Fyrnae]

^^ went to the James T. Kirk School of Acting.

^ is envious of those jars.

[GenessorDios]

With the ammo capacity in revolvers, ^ thought it was a waste to have only one barrel. Thus, the hexagun was born.

Also, thus, her bankruptcy was born.

Also also, thus, the weekly Can you be as stupid as Fyrnae? newspaper contest was born.

[reiven]

^ thought numismatism was a bronchial infection

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Likes the taste of coins

[reiven]

instead of getting that copper taste in his mouth when hyped with adrenaline and endorphins, ^ tastes coconuts

[GenessorDios]

Although ^ had the tail removed months ago, it still follows him around out of sheer force of habit.

[reiven]

gen sought counsel after being informed that hacking his creditors databases and clearing (he called it paying) his bills electronically was indeed illegal

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Ate 10 Guatemalan insanity peppers in an attempt to get off a murder charge on the grounds of mental incapacitation..

[MortalWombat]

^ ate 10 Guatemalans.

[GenessorDios]

When a friend told ^ he was abducted by aliens, he asked what the weather was like in Mexico this time of year.

[reiven]

morty imported cantaloupes from guatemala...called them guadalupes

GD tries to board planes but is kicked out because of what he calls metal profiling

[MortalWombat]

^ has a thing for cantalupes

[reiven]

^ has a thing for cantaloupes

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Went to Africa and frolicked with the antelupes

[phoboser]

^So easily confused by wordplay that he hired a bunch of cantaloupes to pave his driveway and added a bunch of balled Guatamalan flesh into his fruit salad.

[MortalWombat]

^double snaked me..
^^ is an antelope
^^^ :flirt:

[reiven]

^ blow dries his hair each morning, but has never washed it

[double snaked, not gonna try to catch up]

[MortalWombat]

^ baldy mcbalderton

[reiven]

morty has two speeds; slow and off

[MortalWombat]

reiven prefers "off", "slow" is much too fast for him.

[Fyrnae]

^^ stands there so people can't see what a state his truck is in.

[MortalWombat]

^ likes chevys

[GenessorDios]

^ walked into a mist once and shouted Will someone adjust that damn antenna?

[MortalWombat]

^ carries around a flyswatter, uses it on misbehaving children in public

[reiven]

^ concealed carry

[MortalWombat]

^ invites everyone to the guns show

[reiven]

^ insists every man she dates shave the scruff before she is touchable

[GenessorDios]

^^ shouted Get over here! but was embarrassed when he stuck his palm out and nothing emerged.

[Fyrnae]

^ went only to discover she was walking into a trap

<declined invitation

[reiven]

GD owns stock in Pfitzer
...thought it was Pfizer

[GenessorDios]

Billions of bacteria on ^'s body went on strike, claiming it was a hostile work environment.

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Is a body bacteria union leader

[MortalWombat]

^ against the union

[reiven]

^ would join if it were called the confederacy

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks the north won

*glances at rebel flag colored shotgun and spits 'backer chew*

[reiven]

^'s horn is one of only five remaining in the US that still plays Dixie

[MortalWombat]

^ aint never seen the dukes of hazzard

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Gets around in "Daisy Dukes" when shopping at the mall.

[GenessorDios]

^'s favorite actor is Steve Martin Lawrence.

[MortalWombat]

^^ :flirt:
does, too.

[GenessorDios]

^ only has two eyelashes per eye (and they're both fake).

[MortalWombat]

^ wears falsies

[GenessorDios]

^ decided to prove the Tortoise and the Hare outcome for himself. He's been waiting for eight years for them to reach the finish line. Perhaps starting them off two miles away wasn't such a good idea....

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Has three teeth, and two of them are black.

[GenessorDios]

^ watched Murder She Wrote and kept wondering why she didn't just stop writing so no one would die.

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Has a huge crush on Miss Marple

[MortalWombat]

^ Has a crush on one of the muppets

[Fyrnae]

^ is actually a muppet

[MortalWombat]

^ kermet the frog

[Fyrnae]

Hey, it's not easy being green

^ Miss Piggy

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Miss Piggy (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

ATo view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. very snaked. I am leaving it though because I found a quite tasteful glam shot ;)

[MortalWombat]

:(
I don't know anymore..

^oscar the grouch

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Writes the jokes for the two grumpy old men in the Muppet Show (I miss those guys)

[MortalWombat]

^ is the grumpy old man

[Fyrnae]

^ Cookie monster

[MortalWombat]

^elmo

[reiven]

^ bert and ernie's adopted love child

[Fyrnae]

*hurls*

^emo

[MortalWombat]

^ emu

[phoboser]

^ Thought that Uma/Oprah bit was funny.

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Has a season pass to be in the Oprah audience...missed out on the free car though.

[Cooper]

did not listen to his mother about making that face....now its stuck

[Fyrnae]

^ has no face, that one's from one of his victims

[Cooper]

again, another example of should have listened to mom....

[reiven]

^'s mom would dress unsuspecting greek statues in 1960's go-go attire

[Cooper]

his mom gave my mom the idea

[Fyrnae]

^ & ^^ mums are the same person

[Cooper]

got the tongue stick to a metal pole at 29 degrees f...

[GenessorDios]

^ is so OCD, if you shorten his songs by 0.1 second, he starts having seizures for no reason.

[Cooper]

has road rash in a very...strange...place

[GenessorDios]

No one ever stops to thank ^ for his contributions to medical research. I mean the new strains of bacteria that grow on his hands alone have given scientists plenty of opportunities for finding cures. He also single-handedly boosted sales of the hazmat suit industry after donating himself to science.

[Fyrnae]

^ is exceptionally pleased about this as he owns the controlling shares in a hazmat suit manufacturing company.

[reiven]

fyrn is the niece of anna anderson (anastasia romanov), and is third in line for the throne, when monarchy returns to st petersburg (Петербург)

[GenessorDios]

^ drives his truck only at roadstun speeds, so he can get out and finish off the animals by hand.

[reiven]

^likes doing things by hand

[GenessorDios]

That's what she said.

Bottles are the devil's work! according to ^, who carries water around all day in his plastic lined coat pocket.

[reiven]

^ was disappointed with the elasticity of the wraps, but still thinks the linen around Seti 1 makes a decent ace bandage

[GenessorDios]

^ wanted to imitate David Blaine's trick of pulling a piece of heart out of his chest so he went to medical school.

[reiven]

GD was chosen the new poet laureate of billings, montana

[GenessorDios]

^ hated Akira Kurosawa's Ran because he thought it was a movie about marathons.

[reiven]

^ thinks ian rand as appalachian slang for i went jogging yesterday

[GenessorDios]

^ thinks MC Hammer's initials stand for Michael Chamberlain.

[Fyrnae]

^ dances (badly) to MC Hammer at every opportunity

[GenessorDios]

Only ^ would think that pressing the 1 button in an elevator five times would take her to the fifth floor.

[Fyrnae]

Since truncating his legs, GD cannot reach anything and makes his mum get things down for him.

[GenessorDios]

^ spends at least an hour a day combing and braiding her chest hair.

[reiven]

^ is actually the third in a metallic, russian nesting doll set.
he has a superiority complex over the two dolls still in his hatch

[GenessorDios]

^ still adamantly advocates that using a trackball to steer a car would be more effective.

[Fyrnae]

^ was overheard saying that he has no reason to leave home as long as his mum is still alive to do everything for him.

[GenessorDios]

^ philosophizes with friends in McDonald's every Thursday evening. She says the trans fats really get the mental juices flowing.

[Fyrnae]

One time when I was there I saw ^ working at the grill.

[GenessorDios]

^ drinks beverages exclusively through the nose.

[MortalWombat]

^ only drinks spoiled milk, says it helps his halitosis

[GenessorDios]

^ never once returned videos to the store on time.

[reiven]

GD was such an obnoxious thief that he carried three cases of return-for-deposit bottles to his car from a laundry mat. on the way back for the fourth case, the proprietor came out of the restroom. GD walked up to him and explained the coke machine had taken his money. the owner gave him a dollar for the trouble.

[MortalWombat]

^ hangs out at the laundry mat, stealing other people's clothing.

[Fyrnae]

^ is currently envisioning reiven in her knickers

[MortalWombat]

:laugh:

^ parades around in the street wearing her knickers on her head

[reiven]

^ was listening to iron maiden in her car, headbanging out of control, and drove over a sidewalk hot dog stand. when the police arrived she lifted her finger and said 'hold on just a sec, the lead is coming up'

[MortalWombat]

^ Is the white man that came from across the sea who brought us pain and misery

[reiven]

^ jumped off her roof with a wax and feather contraption across her shoulders screaming in the name of God my father, i fly!!!

[MortalWombat]

^ idolizes Icarus

[reiven]

^ always get excited at two minutes to midnight

[MortalWombat]

^ is the boogymonster under my bed

[reiven]

^ keeps an unrealistic amount of junk under her bed.