Let's Spread Rumors

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Stole my carrot-topped teddy bear - now I can't sleep.

[GenessorDios]

^ wanted to use Mr Mindblowing as his nick but he wasn't that good a liar. He had trouble enough as it is choosing his current moniker over the more honest Mr Mentallydeficient.

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Just abused a mentally deficient child

EDIT - I couldn't justify spreading rumours of multiple cases

[MortalWombat]

^ cannot justify the unjustifiable injustice

[GenessorDios]

^ has three left feet.

[jonnyb]

^Speaks w/o moving his lips.

[MortalWombat]

^ never blinks

[ssrprotege]

^ always snorts whenever laughing

[SuperSmart101]

^Doesn't sleep.

[MortalWombat]

^ Doesn't use his hands when eating, but slams his face into his food.

[SuperSmart101]

^Developed dissociative identity disorder to deal with the feelings of inadequacy from being a fairy.(can't reproduce, can't eat, can't use restroom, etc.)

[ssrprotege]

^doesn't know how to use a knife

[MortalWombat]

^ is in love with tinkerbell.

[SuperSmart101]

Wants to do tinkerbell.

[MassHysteria]

^Wants to do Peter Pan.

[RedOrange823]

^Has already done Peter Pan

[MortalWombat]

^ did all the lost boys

[MassHysteria]

^Did all the mermaids.

[RedOrange823]

^is related to Ursula from The Little Mermaid

[Valhalla]

Is really a satsuma.

[RedOrange823]

is really a sumo wrestler

[Valhalla]

Auditioned to be a sumo wrestler but was deemed too fat.

[RedOrange823]

Swallowed alive by her own fat rolls

[Valhalla]

Wanted to be a sushi chef since the sumo wrestler debacle. Ran out of rice and decided soy beans would work just as well. Works at Charlie Chin as a cleaner.

[Cooper]

wants to feed goats

[RedOrange823]

^is a goat. wants to be fed.

[Valhalla]

Wants to feed the goat.

[GenessorDios]

On ^'s resume to be an architect, the only experience listed was four years of playing Tetris.

[Valhalla]

GD was an extra in a Jackie Chan movie, starring as a dumpling.

[MassHysteria]

^Looks really silly in a viking helmet.

[GenessorDios]

^ is bragging; she causes MassBewilderment at best.

[Fyrnae]

^ has been recycled 546 times. This is his most recent form.

[MassHysteria]

^Is living on the wrong side of the Atlantic and almost enjoying it!

[GenessorDios]

Only 546 tries to reach perfection, I'd say that's not too bad.

^ keeps a diary of each time she poops.

[MassHysteria]

^Can't even satisfy himself.

[GenessorDios]

^'s debonair nature belies the fact that she just lost seventy cents at a hand of blackjack.

[Fyrnae]

^^ is riding the cotton pony.

^ thinks I care.

[EmmaKynikos]

scaled the great wall of china just because it was there

[MassHysteria]

^^Is surfing the crimson tide

^Accidentally stabbed herself in the back when she hefted that weapon over her shoulder.

[GenessorDios]

^ doesn't know the difference between a sword and a scimitar.

[MassHysteria]

^Failed to notice that I said ''weapon'' and not ''sword''

[GenessorDios]

How do you stab yourself in the back with a sword? You do know its straight and the most you can do is slice your shoulder right? Scimitars are curved enough that you can stab yourself.

Oh, er....^ is homeless.

[jonnyb]

^Produced a lint roller that peels of human skin. Now he is trying to figure out a marketing ploy to sell them.

[reiven]

^ chooses random patrons in a restaurant to complain to, especially when he is well served.


[editors note; the sentence fragment added after the comma was just to avoid ending on a preposition]

[jonnyb]

^Is double jointed in all the wrong places.

[EmmaKynikos]

is at the bottom of a ponzi scheme

[jonnyb]

EmmaKinkyos is the last living Amazon. Her sister, Wonder Woman, refused to give up the truth lasso and now Emma is stuck with the cape. Kinda gets in the way when the temperature gets into the 100s.

[EmmaKynikos]

spends his paycheck in atlantic city, not on gaming, but on the fine cuisine

[jonnyb]

^has a favorite stalagmite in her cave.

[EmmaKynikos]

his mom dropped him on his head when he was a child

[RedOrange823]

^her own father ran over her with his car and claimed he was trying to avoid a pothole. no potholes were in sight...

[EmmaKynikos]

believes that penguins really dance

[RedOrange823]

they don't? *runs off to cry*

^believes the earth is square

[GenessorDios]

^ lives in a 2D world. The world is obviously a cube.

[EmmaKynikos]

at a party last saturday, danced around with a lampshade on her head, screaming "i'm a bright idea"

[RedOrange823]

cries herself to sleep every night since she found out the kool-aid mascot isn't real

[GenessorDios]

Kool-Aid? What nonsense are you spouting?

^ makes up brand names and pretends they're real.

[RedOrange823]

^ate dirt for dinner

[EmmaKynikos]

drank the kool-aid and is now a fan of justin beiber

[RedOrange823]

finished the kool-aid and fell in love with the Jonas Brothers. All of them. And went mad over deciding which one she loved the mostest.

[EmmaKynikos]

prefers skipping to work over driving

[GenessorDios]

^'s only working eye is her belly button. If you throw a ball at her, she will miss it.

[EmmaKynikos]

when out joy riding as a teen, accidently mooned the president. yeah, THE president

[RedOrange823]

^jealous because she was a teenager in a time before there were presidents

[EmmaKynikos]

eh, not so much.

went to the prom with her brother

[RedOrange823]

if you throw a stick, she'll chase after it

[EmmaKynikos]

doesn't know i start every rumor about myself just to see how it comes back and who tells me it

[RedOrange823]

don't mind her. the aliens forgot to remove her probe.

[GenessorDios]

^^ once told everyone she was in love with me just to throw them off the trail that she was in love with me.

[jonnyb]

^Wipes his ass with a cheese grater.

[RedOrange823]

^shaves his face with a cheese grater

[GenessorDios]

^ & ^^ don't know the pleasures of eating cheese whole.

[MassHysteria]

^Cheese eating surrender monkey.

[jonnyb]

^ Takes scalps, asks questions later.

[Cooper]

has an ear neckless

[jonnyb]

^Needs an ear horn.

[Cooper]

has ear mites

[jonnyb]

^Has termites in his coffin.

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Frequents Cooper's coffin - they play mini-twister and have rasberry drinks at make-believe tea parties with the termites.

[jonnyb]

^Eats tooth whitening chemicals.

[Mr Mediocre]

*they keep me regular!*

Has a sizeable collection of broken roof tiles that he thinks resemble Paris Hilton

[jonnyb]

^Stalks zoo animals.

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Was once a zoo animal (I know because I was stalking him).

[jonnyb]

I had to change my identity, but ^ still found me. See how persistant ^ is.

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Thought that going from Snow Leopard to Swamp Rat was a step up in the world. Would have found you anyway - persistence pays - all INTJ's know it.

[GrnEyz]

^believes that going from cone head to mop head will increase his chances of getting laid.

[Valhalla]

Had to have his pectoral implants removed, now wears a corset.

[GrnEyz]

^wants to go from an A cup to a D cup in a single procedure.

[MortalWombat]

^ Already did it; now advises against it.

[GrnEyz]

^wants to experiment with a lypo suction/infusion process to relocate body fat to strategic areas.

[MortalWombat]

^ also did this, relocating fat from various areas into his head

[GrnEyz]

^relocated love handles to mammary glands.

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks I need any help with my mammaries.

[Fyrnae]

^ wants to thank you for the mammaries

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Won the "Double Entendre of the Hour" award but only received this crappy leaf

[Fyrnae]

^ thinks the leaf was crappy but it was in fact very good

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Was caught giving Mr Mediocre 'leaf envy'

[EmmaKynikos]

strives hard to live up to his name

[Fyrnae]

^ actually thinks it was only a half-hearted attempt though

[GrnEyz]

^set off a fire alarm in WalMart and stuffed condoms in her bra during the confusion.

[MortalWombat]

^ is mistaken, they were balloons.

[RedOrange823]

^has more air in her head than a fully blown-up balloon

[MortalWombat]

^ often goes on hot air balloon trips, by holding her breath

[GenessorDios]

^ takes her fashion cues from The Joker in The Dark Knight.

[MassHysteria]

^Is surprisingly hairy.

[GenessorDios]

Many people commented on ^'s recent purchase of a pig trough while living in the city. No one figured out that it was for her own consumption.

[MassHysteria]

^Has never seen the inside of a shower.

[GenessorDios]

^ shampoos with sham poo.

[MassHysteria]

^Has a very low melting point. In fact, from what I hear, he liquefies with a touch of the hand.

[GrnEyz]

^has a trigger libido and keeps a towel in her car seat.

[MassHysteria]

:stunned: :stare: ^Needs to get that camera out of my car.

[Fyrnae]

^ doesn't really want rid of the camera cause she reckons she can sell the tapes.

[MassHysteria]

^Made a killing that way back in the summer of '91

[Fyrnae]

^ makes a killing whenever she can & hides the bodies under her house

[MassHysteria]

^Has tons and tons of great tips for just that activity.

[Fyrnae]

^ helped me write the book

[MassHysteria]

^Was arrested for trying to get it published.

[Fyrnae]

^ bailed me out

[MassHysteria]

^Supplied the getaway car.

[Fyrnae]

^ drove it to an unknown location

[MassHysteria]

^Helped start a new life in the desert selling preserves by the highway

[Fyrnae]

^ drove off one day & left me to it.

[MassHysteria]

^Has received many post cards with secret clues as to my whereabouts and activities

[Fyrnae]

....All of which ended up redirected to Santa.

[MassHysteria]

...Who still failed to give me everything I wanted this year :(

[Fyrnae]

^has been very, very bad

[MassHysteria]

Now who has cameras in whose house? *bats eyelashes*

[Fyrnae]

^ does not know Santa's elves have gone high tech.

[MassHysteria]

^Personally butchered and grilled up the reindeer when Santa switched to jet power.

[GenessorDios]

After ^ got mugged for the first time, she started training by punching herself in the stomach and kicking herself in the head because If anyone's gonna beat me up properly, its gonna be me!

[MassHysteria]

^Wasted money on the same training by paying other people to beat him up, when they would have happily done it for free.

[GenessorDios]

^ is so ill-equipped to handle compliments that she punches anyone who utters the slightest word of praise in the face; whereas she thanks her critics profusely.

[reiven]

^ doesn`t much care for Popular Mechanics centerfolds since he moved on to anibot porn.

[GenessorDios]

^ has tried on multiple occasions to eat his mouse. It was only after the fifth surgery that his doctor decided to wire his mouth just small enough so it wouldn't fit.

[MassHysteria]

^Started out copper, turned green, was then covered in aluminum foil and put on display as Modern Art. Nobody bought it.

[EmmaKynikos]

thought she traveled the world when she ran her finger over spinning globe

[Cooper]

was lost at sea

[MassHysteria]

^Was lost on land

[Fyrnae]

^ is just plain lost

[MortalWombat]

^ takes from the lost and found

[reiven]

^ whispers i can't hear you so the kids will speak up, then points to the sign that says Quiet, Please

[MortalWombat]

^ hides in the bushes and steals candy from children on halloween

[reiven]

^has gone trick or treating dressed as a pumpkin more times than she cares to admit.

[MortalWombat]

^ drives that "free candy" van

[Fyrnae]

^ knocks on doors wearing a shark costume and announcing, 'Candygram!'

[MortalWombat]

^ still waits in line for hours to sit on santa's lap

[Fyrnae]

^ is one of Santa's elves

[reiven]

^ has never seen SNL

morty has a neurotic fear of pouched animals

[MortalWombat]

^ grew up in a kangaroo pouch

[reiven]

^ is only 5 inches tall

[MortalWombat]

^ 5.6 inches tall in heels :)

[reiven]

^ buys barbie dolls for the wardrobe and accessories

[MortalWombat]

^ tears the heads off of barbies

[reiven]

^ dips dolls in honey and lets the ants have them when she is angry.

[Fyrnae]

^ dresses like a samurai whilst working at a delicatessen

[RedOrange823]

^didn't dress up for halloween, but won ugliest costume contest anyway

[MortalWombat]

^ was the judge; is blind

[reiven]

^she took the name MortalWombat from the nickname the military personnel gave the predator drones.

[Cooper]

only rieven would know this....

[GouldFan]

^ his staff has some incredible but useless magic powers.

[Cooper]

ruined his good fur, is now looking for new fur that will fool his mom

[reiven]

^^ walks like an egyptian

^ grunts every time he lifts something

[Cooper]

can't lift his finger...

[MassHysteria]

^Is pretty sure he was at Woodstock, but he can't remember a damn thing.

[reiven]

^ had a 'fro in the fourth grade due to an unfortunate tweezers/outlet experiment

[MortalWombat]

^ gives children pennies, tells them to go play with light sockets

[reiven]

^ believes she has channeled elvis

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks elvis is still alive

[reiven]

^ saved johnny cash's life when he drove drunk into old hickory lake.

[MortalWombat]

^ fell into the ring of fire

[MassHysteria]

^Walks the line.

[MortalWombat]

^ been to folsom prison.

[MassHysteria]

^Shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.

[MortalWombat]

^ took a shot of cocaine and she shot her woman down

[MassHysteria]

^Bang bang
she shot him down
Bang bang
he hit the ground

Bang
Bang
that awful sound

Bang bang
she shot her baby down

[MortalWombat]

^ Listens to Sinatra?

[reiven]

^had her image photoshopped into a B&W pic of the rat pac

[MortalWombat]

^ raindrops keep fallin on his head

[RedOrange823]

^has no head for the raindrops to fall on

[reiven]

^ has no body to get wet

[MassHysteria]

^Has never made a body get--NO. Not going there. Bad mass.

^Has never been to the pool.

[MortalWombat]

^ fears water

[MassHysteria]

^Is rabid.

[reiven]

^ also has rabies
[edit] and is snakey

[MortalWombat]

^ rabid snake

[reiven]

MW has a beach house at martha's vineyard

[MassHysteria]

^Has a box in Napa Valley

[reiven]

^ has the most active mary kay franchise in the south east, and the pink AMC Pacer to prove it

[MassHysteria]

^Is my number 1 client.

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks rei looks fabulous when he's all decked out in makeup.

[reiven]

^ posted a pic from her personal rei collection, wearing heels if i recall

[WoodsWoman]

^printed it and has it hanging by his bed.

[Fyrnae]

^ asked him to send her a copy

[MortalWombat]

^ framed said copy

[Bobsama]

is a real meanie-face.

[reiven]

^ carries an orange peel shield.

[EmmaKynikos]

slipped on a banana peel with one foot and a roller skate with the other

[reiven]

^ rushed home after school to watch the banana splits on a black and white TV

[Minerva]

reiven can't afford to get a coloured tv.

[EmmaKynikos]

subscribed to banana magazine with religious fevor

[Minerva]

Emma poses for Banana magazine.

[EmmaKynikos]

pinned up every one of my centerfold pictures

[Minerva]

Doesn't know that I use them for archery target practice.

[MortalWombat]

^ is practicing to be cupid.

[GenessorDios]

Every day, a man becomes a millionaire. ^ wishes he could be that man.

[MortalWombat]

^ wanted to be in the million man march, but couldn't stand people.

[GenessorDios]

^'s OCD tendencies lead him to post in every single game thread, making his name the only one that appears on the first page. Every time someone posts and messes it up, he cuts himself.

May I offer you a box of bandages for this post?

[MortalWombat]

^ extremely neurotic, to the point of almost being Brittany Spears.

[GenessorDios]

^ truly hates stopping the car before arriving at his destination so he slows down way before red lights and inches it forward ever so slightly. 283 traffic tickets hasn't quelled this behavior.

[SuperSmart101]

Is the cop that gives the traffic tickets so he can make his $200 a week.

[pcardiff]

This is not a rumor; I was told this by someone else. Amazing but true story:
Supersmart 101 is actually Steven Alexander Smits, who used to be married to my neighbor, Angela Kurtz. He pays loads of child-support, because he and Angela had 7 kids then he cheated on her with a waitress from Prague. The waitress had AIDS though, so after he divorced and tried to marry, he also had to pay the waitress' death (medical) bills. Serious problem for Steven because he's suffering right now from pneumonia. Go ahead. Ask. He's ready to pack it all in and move to Mexico City.

[SuperSmart101]

^Jealous because I at least got laid with the opposite sex.

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks there's something wrong with same sex lovin'.
:flirt:



kidding.

[reiven]

^ illustrated SameSex, A Guide For Dummies

[MortalWombat]

^ doesn't read any book without pictures

[reiven]

^ doodles in her textbooks

[MortalWombat]

^ pays me to do it.

[EmmaKynikos]

sniffed so much glue that her nose fell off and had to get it re-attached.

[Cooper]

just got back from the ISS

[MortalWombat]

^ was in the SS

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Secretly signed up for a subscription to "SS Weekly" - didn't realise it had been discontinued around 65 years ago.

[MassHysteria]

^Spends ten hours in curlers every other day to get his hair to do that.

[Cooper]

walks with zombies

[MassHysteria]

^Walks with Bill Murray and Woody Harrelson.

[Cooper]

is a Jim Jones follower

[MassHysteria]

^Tried to change the name on his driver's license to ''Dr. Randy Lovingood.''

[Cooper]

was able to do that...

[MassHysteria]

Wants a copy of my DMV photo

[MortalWombat]

^ drew on hers with a sharpie, now has a eye patch and a parrot

[GenessorDios]

What a dirty, dirty fellow ^ is. No one else on Earth takes yoga just so they can bring their feet all the way to their mouth and use their toenails as toothpicks.

[MortalWombat]

^ steals from the rich and...steals from the poor, also.

[GenessorDios]

All the critics said it would bomb, but no one expected the teeming hordes of drivel-seeking fans to buy millions of copies of ^'s ridiculous "homage", Beck and the jeans talk.

[Fyrnae]

^traded a cow for the talking jeans

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Stalks ^^ just to hear what his jeans are saying

[MassHysteria]

^Wakes up really early

[GrnEyz]

^stays out late and watches the sun rise over the river.

[MassHysteria]

^Thinks the Cumberland is worth watching at sunup.

[GrnEyz]

^thinks the rising sun is a curse on nightlife.

[MassHysteria]

^Grew up in the house in New Orleans they call the Rising Sun.

[GrnEyz]

^her papa was a rolling stone (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

[MassHysteria]

^This man is solely responsible for all of this. (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

[GrnEyz]

^can't decide what direction to take in the modern world (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

[MassHysteria]

^Actually has BrnEyz

[MortalWombat]

^ no eyes, types with braille letters ;)

[reiven]

just after the fourth of july when MW was in grade school she and two friends had several packs of the little black tablets that when lit, turned into snakes. someone dared her to light a whole pack in a mailbox. after being ratted out by her 'friends' she found out that mailboxes are federal property.

[jonnyb]

^Randomly ties people to railroad tracks for the 'nostalgia'.

[WoodsWoman]

@ reiven - just pinched the catalytic converter from the vehicle in the background.

jonnyb purchased it from him.

[reiven]

lady foxwoods has been writing sports commentary in the local gannett newspaper for more than 15 years under the pseudonym ed johnson.

[MortalWombat]

^ is the real ed johnson

[reiven]

^ wrote anonymous love letters to her jr high science teacher and signed them Scarlet Morning