Let's Spread Rumors

[MortalWombat]

^ enjoys ending sentences with no punctuation, to make the reader keep waiting.

[reiven]

^ is deathly afraid of ritz crackers

[MortalWombat]

^ collects unusually shaped pieces of cereal.

[reiven]

^ was at the center of the much publicised jesus-faced-grilled-cheese-sammich episode

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks "cheez its" are aliases for jesus, and therefore worships them at a homemade shrine.

[reiven]

^ has the same cow veneration as orthodox hindus

[MortalWombat]

^ has something against hindus.

[reiven]

morty is a screenwriter for pat roberts

[MortalWombat]

reiven is the secret genius behind airplane!.

[reiven]

^once said flying a plane is no different than riding a bicycle, just a lot harder to put baseball cards in the spokes.

[MortalWombat]

Striker, listen. and you listen close.

^ got hit by a parked car.

[reiven]

^ would rather push a chevy than drive a ford

[MortalWombat]

^ would rather push drugs than get a job.

[reiven]

^ used her amway connections to establish a meth ring

[MortalWombat]

^ Is currently in a meth triangle.

[reiven]

^ likes the purity of my addiction

[MortalWombat]

^ says "purity" because he is a nun.

[reiven]

^ met me at the convent, and flew with her winged hat.

[MortalWombat]

^ was whoopie's stunt double in sister act

[MassHysteria]

^Was Wile E. Coyote's stunt double from 1948-1961

[MortalWombat]

^ supplied me with all the faulty acme equipment

[reiven]

^ killed a wabbit, killed the wabbit

[MassHysteria]

^Killed him with his spear and magic hewmet.

[reiven]

^ can imitate the roadrunner noise, convincingly

[MortalWombat]

^ is the black guy that does the sound effects on police academy.

[reiven]

^ has a thing for elliot gould

[MortalWombat]

^ has a thing for the muppets

[MassHysteria]

^Is the Mighty Favog

[MortalWombat]

^ Mighty mouse

[reiven]

^can`t decide between penelope pitstop and sweet poly purebred

[MortalWombat]

^ penelope pitstop is his stripper name.

[SuperSmart101]

^Wishes that her stripper name was penelope pitstop instead of deep throat.

[jonnyb]

^Shows off his hickies proudly.

[Cooper]

wishes he had hickies

[jonnyb]

^Presses his Skype receiver hard against his neck to make hickies.

[Cooper]

got his first hicky from his cat

[jonnyb]

^thought for most of his adolescent life that hickie was a slang name for hiccup. Always lead him to wonder why it was so cool to get hiccups.

[Cooper]

got his second hicky from his hamster

[jonnyb]

^Got a hicky below the belt once that got infected. It is still something he doesn't want to talk about.

[Cooper]

gave himself his third hicky

[jonnyb]

^Laments the fact that I am still two hickies ahead of him.

[Cooper]

got his fourth hicky from his mom

[jonnyb]

^Wants to be the one who gives me my fifth hicky. Even sends me letters and phone messages telling me all about it. Also follows said messages up with a bill for 2.79$ per minute.

[Cooper]

got his fifth hicky from Chad

[jonnyb]

^Taught Chad how to give hickies by placing an inordinate number of them at various areas of Chad's body.

[Cooper]

just propposed to Chad. The wedding is in August.

[jonnyb]

Chad turned me down and stated that ^ beat me to the punch. Wedding is this Wednesday.

[MassHysteria]

^Appreciates the Todd. The Todd doesn't believe in negative reinforcement.

<Would really like all this discussion of Chad to cease, since she has a close relative named Chad who she would rather not envision distributing hickeys. Thanks.

[Cooper]

would rather talk about.....'that' movie.

[MassHysteria]

^Would rather paddle in the kiddie pool

[jonnyb]

^Wears water wings while mowing the grass. Doesn't want to drown.

[Cooper]

came up with that idea all by himself...

[GenessorDios]

^ is jealous of the freckleds so he goes through about twenty magic markers a month.

[Cooper]

likes a glass of WD-40 with a good head

[MassHysteria]

^Went to prom in a duct tape ball gown.

[Mr Mediocre]

^
|
|

Contracted five separate and virulent STD's from

<====

[Cooper]

needs to work on his rumors

[MassHysteria]

^Is officially employed as my bodyguard against Mr Mediocre.

...

And Mr Mediocres everywhere.

[Cooper]

pays me in wine bottle labels

[Mr Mediocre]

was pwned by MassHysteria but wears long clothes to hide the bruises

(edit - oops...upon rereading I have misinterpreted the post - wine is to blame - I will have to let it stand though. Mediocre by name...you know the rest)

[Cooper]

is much better after the lobotomy

[jonnyb]

^^ MM: Had a drill bit surgically implanted on the end of his finger.

^Made good use of the lobotomized remnants.

[Cooper]

shared my deep fried meal

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Did not deep fry for long enough and should now go to the clinic

[MassHysteria]

^Is riddled with mad cow

[Mr Mediocre]

^ is wishing to reverse time and not share that meal with Cooper

[Vergil96]

^ is pointing a finger at his head while reading my mind. And feeling dirty afterwards.

[MassHysteria]

^Is worth more as a pelt than as a life form.

[jonnyb]

^Keeps a pet cockroach in her pocket everywhere she goes.

[MassHysteria]

^Got his head checked. By a jumbo jet. It wasn't easy.

[Vergil96]

^ Released a virus into London and made 28 days later a reality.

[Cooper]

wants a duck to chase around the yard

[jonnyb]

^Is living to see his percentage reach 666%

[MassHysteria]

^Always has gas money

[jonnyb]

^religiously disconnects the odometer cable on all her vehicles. It makes her think she's driving a new car.

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Has every episode of Grizzly Adams and yearns to one day grow some facial hair and "bear it up" while getting back to nature.

[Fyrnae]

^ thinks he is still floating around in the Tardis.

[jonnyb]

^Refused to take of her favorite leotard from when she was 6. Although it fits quite snugg, it has survived many showers and boyfriends.

[Fyrnae]

^ tried to get it off me, not for any sexual purpose, but so that he could add it to his collection of leotards.

[jonnyb]

^'s leotard is both water and bacon grease resistant. Must have something to do with the genetical integration of the leotard with flesh.

[reiven]

^ lubes yard maintenance machinery with bacon grease

[jonnyb]

^Still uses little dinosaurs from the Flintstones as yard maintenence equipment.

[reiven]

^ treasures his collection of betty and wilma porn posters.

[jonnyb]

^Likewise but with Mr. Slate and the Boulder gravel pit dancers.

[GenessorDios]

^.com is a website you really don't want to visit, unless you happen to have eaten something undesirable. But be warned, once you go, everything comes back out.

[reiven]

^ pays extra for prostitutes that can speak with an animated-natasha russian accent

[jonnyb]

^Gets animalated when he thinks about prostitutes.

[GenessorDios]

^'s fantasy with time travel is to travel between thirty seconds and five minutes forward to smack himself in the ass, then go back to the present and try to avoid the smack.

[jonnyb]

^Sounds like he's had extensive experience with that

[WoodsWoman]

^has a secret stash of milk of magnesia.

[MassHysteria]

^Is a squid typing with all 10 tentacles instead of all 10 fingers.

[reiven]

^ is an amorphous slime-dripping blob, under a restraining order from bill murray

[MassHysteria]

^Has huger plots of land than even I do.

[MortalWombat]

^ Has a plot to take over the world.

[reiven]

MortoWombatto likes to insult innocent passers-by and then claim she's mute.
(with hand signals, that`s how)

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks punching people in the face is considered 'sign language'

[reiven]

^would look good in a birthday cake right about now.

[MortalWombat]

^would look better in a suit of blueberries.

[reiven]

^ wants to stick a needle in my neck

[MortalWombat]

^ likes it when he's stuck by needles.

[MassHysteria]

^Sticks a lotta stuff a lotta places.

[reiven]

^^ is studying acupuncture in new guinea, she's practicing with blow-darts. something about not wanting to actually touch real people.

^ said hey y'all wach this and snaked me

[MortalWombat]

^ likes to be stuck a lot, in a lotta places ;)

[MassHysteria]

^Keeps turning down my invitations to learn new ways to stick it.

[GenessorDios]

MortalHysteria and MassWombat have never owned property in Monopoly games.

[MassHysteria]

GenericDummy would rather play Scrabble with geriatrics than Twister with coeds.

[GenessorDios]

Due to a complete lack of friends, ^ used to ring her own doorbell, then run round the back and into the house to open the door. Upon finding no one there, she'd fume for hours that kids were playing pranks on her, but her mother knew what a little liar she was.

[MassHysteria]

^Wrote a comic book with himself as a hero and submitted it to twelve different publishers, all of whom banded together to send him an eight-by-ten group shot of the whole company holding a sign saying ''Yeah, right!''

[GenessorDios]

^ set her car tyres on fire. Apparently she thought burnin' rubber was meant to be taken literally.

[MassHysteria]

^Has been listening to the British too much. The proper way to start a TIRE fire is to drop the Y.

[GenessorDios]

^ shows her true colours. She hates her British neighbours.

[MassHysteria]

^Oublié que nous ne sommes pas fous de l'anglais ici. Didn't they even glance over history in your classes?

[GenessorDios]

^ wears grey pyjamas while writing cheques to her nan.

[MassHysteria]

^Is cruisin' for a bruisin', Texas style. Yeehaw!

[GenessorDios]

^ lahvs thrawing sam shremp awn the bahbie. Now wahreys mite, lits thraw awn sam Floyte of the Cunchords aye?

[MassHysteria]

^Gettin' nude, with his food. We heard that's what you are into.

[Mr Mediocre]

^^ always mixes up Australia and New Zealand in his admittedly interesting phonetic stylisings...

^ Shot the sheriff...pass it on...

[GenessorDios]

^^ stole my business socks.

[MortalWombat]

^ only uses socks to make puppets.

[GenessorDios]

^ always compares himself to Steve Austin, but come on, you're a Three Hundred Dollar Man at most.

[MortalWombat]

^ refuses to refer to me with the correct gender :irked:

[GenessorDios]

^ is unable to accept compliments.

[MortalWombat]

^ has never been complimented.

[Cooper]

never been in a date

[MortalWombat]

^ never been in a car

[MassHysteria]

^Never been to the moon.

[MortalWombat]

^ never been out of her house.

[MassHysteria]

^Has merely never SEEN me out of my house :ninja:

[MortalWombat]

^ is a sneaky, sneaky ninja.

[Liason]

^Stalked him from birth

[GenessorDios]

^ has a tendency to start sentences saying with all due respect, realize she has none and punch the interlocutor in the face.

[Liason]

^stalked me for years to find this out

[MortalWombat]

^ knew of being stalked, and participated in strange things just to mess with GD

[reiven]

^owns a rabbit farm strictly for the pelts.

[GenessorDios]

^ wishes to be shuffled off this MortalWombat coil.

[MortalWombat]

^ wears rabbit fur, with the whole rabbit still attached.

[Liason]

^Likes Vegemite, and tries to sell it like an irl televangelist.

[reiven]

^ once shot a kid with an arrow because he said she wouldn't do it.

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks he's cupid, and is often seen frolicking around in a diaper with a bow and arrow.

[Liason]

^Stalked him since he was in diapers

[MortalWombat]

^ is paranoid of being stalked.

[reiven]

^ invented the red light-less spycam...it changed everything.

[MortalWombat]

^ puts on shows for me sometimes :blush:

[reiven]

^ gives me low scores so i'll try harder.

[MortalWombat]

^ needs a little encouragement, sometimes.

[reiven]

^ binges on celery

[MortalWombat]

^doesn't know that celery has negative calories.

[reiven]

^ uses a celery loofah, expecting synergy.

[Liason]

^Uses tools like a sander, on his dog sandy.

[reiven]

^ went through three highlighters reading atlas shrugged

[Liason]

^Like bunnies

[GenessorDios]

^ wishes that, even in old age, she would have a head full of bunny.

[reiven]

^ ordered a mrs potato head just to get the pop-in angry eyes.

[MortalWombat]

^ gets the 'angry eyes' look all the time.

[reiven]

^ will soon google passive / agressive

[MortalWombat]

^ thinks he can read my mind.

[GenessorDios]

Salmonella is ^'s favorite dish.

[MortalWombat]

^ eats out of the trash. not from necessity, but by choice.

[reiven]

GD always orders with i'll have what she's having, but make mine a double

^ started leaving food scraps in odd places, then waste baskets at his work, until GD was pavlovian with trash food.

[MortalWombat]

^ always eats off my plate.

[MassHysteria]

^Took all the batteries out of all the remote controls and forgot to put them back. :irked:

[MortalWombat]

^ too lazy to get up and change the channel, so watching the static all day.

[MassHysteria]

^Tripped over the cable chord and has been watching the PBS pledge drive all day.

[MortalWombat]

^ PBS is her favorite show.

[MassHysteria]

^Freaking adores the Antiques Roadshow.

[jonnyb]

^Throws a few cactus pears under her sheets at times to make life interesting.

[GenessorDios]

^ used to close one nostril with a finger and blow violently out the other. His record was three car lengths, which is definitely impressive. Unfortunately, none of his friends ever competed with him. How could they, being imaginary? They used to make fun of him and the girls would turn him down for dates. Then at night they'd gather to make out in his room just to taunt him. One night they said they weren't kidding and would have a sixway with him on the roof of his house. His pastor neighbor wasn't too happy the next morning. Neither were his parents. The funny thing is, none of them were really surprised. It seems they'd all expected this to happen sooner. But then again, they were imaginary too and his embarrassments were merely fever dreams brought on by a mixture of heroin and meth injected under his fingernails for maximum effect. The two recently-sold kidneys had brought him a relative fortune which he'd of course promptly spent on the aforementioned drug cocktail. He's next considering whether it will be more lucrative to sell his legs whole or piecemeal. His ambition is to sell more parts until he's left with only his right arm (with the thumb and pointer to administer the narcotics), his torso (with a quarter of a liver, one lung and a semi-aortic heart) one ear, one mouth with no tongue, one eye and one nipple (the other one of course converted into a tube for easy administration of said narcotics). Guinness has contacted him to say it will make room for him somewhere in their book once he's achieved this.

[MortalWombat]

^ no life, but verrryyy creative.

[Cooper]

wants a goat

[MortalWombat]

^ has 4

[Minerva]

< has 48 goats.

MW is allergic to Cooper! :p

[Cooper]

^ lets them in the house at night to watch TV


< wants fainting goats

[GenessorDios]

^ talks so much about goats just to throw people off. His actual fascination is with aardvarks.

[EmmaKynikos]

thinks he has a hit tv series on comedy central

[jonnyb]

^Still Competing with Zenna to get a planetoid named after her now.

[MassHysteria]

^Has invented an extra 5 Deadly Sins

[jonnyb]

^Wants to market them on an infommercial.

[MassHysteria]

^Set the price a little too high.

[RedOrange823]

^Is shit poor

[jonnyb]

^Gets stoned 3 times a day.

[RedOrange823]

^wishes he got stoned 3 times a day

[jonnyb]

That might help me with a few personal problems......

^Finds blood oranges to be quite competative.

[RedOrange823]

^Finds bananas pleasurable

[jonnyb]

^Ditto x 2

[MassHysteria]

^Numb from the brain down.

[RedOrange823]

^numb from the feet up

[jonnyb]

^^Has a difficult time walking in cowboy boots.

^Numb from bananas.

[RedOrange823]

^got bored of bananas and switched to cucumbers

[jonnyb]

^Always ones up. Swithed to old, giant zucchinis.

[MassHysteria]

^Preferred pineapples the whole time.

[RedOrange823]

^found out the hard way he's allergic to cucumber

EDIT: meant jonnyb

[MassHysteria]

^Has it bad for our boy Jonny

[RedOrange823]

^has it bad for her golden ass

[MassHysteria]

^Ditto

[jonnyb]

^Will settle for the goose that lays golden eggs.

[MassHysteria]

^Doesn't care for my golden omelets.

[GenessorDios]

^ pays good money for Aumelets.

[RedOrange823]

^Was raised Amish

[MassHysteria]

^Loves the ''Small World'' ride.

[GenessorDios]

After learning how to stick a finger down her throat to force vomiting, ^ tried to stick it up her butt to cure constipation. Unfortunately, it didn't work.

[ssrprotege]

^ known to cosplay as a Gundam whenever the full moon is up.

[RedOrange823]

^is gender-blind

[ssrprotege]

^ secretly wishes to become a second Dorian Grey

[MassHysteria]

^Is next in line for the throne

[ssrprotege]

^Is about to buy a farm by standing at the wrong position (Yay Josephus problem!).

[Cooper]

parachuted into the game threads from a 727, D.B. Cooper style.

[MassHysteria]

^Is probably watching the History Channel as we speak.

[Cooper]

has hidden cameras

[MassHysteria]

Nah, I'm not spying. You're just transparent. :p

[GenessorDios]

^'s age is such that watching the History Channel is like reminiscing.

[MassHysteria]

^Will die cold and alone, certain of only the fact that no one ever loved him.

[Cooper]

wishs he had history

I've been Mass Snaked!!!

[RedOrange823]

^Will die cold and alone, certain of only the fact that even she did not love herself

[GenessorDios]

^^^ won't know if anyone ever loved her because she can only remember the past seventy years, ie 22%, of her life.

[Cooper]

was left at the alter by a Pepsi can

[MassHysteria]

^^Is really askin' for it tonight.

^Snaked just for the hell of it.

[Cooper]

snake

[GenessorDios]

I heard ^^ likes to reminisce about the days before there were werewolves. The moon hadn't been formed yet, she used to say.

[Cooper]

is in love with a spam can

[MassHysteria]

^Is in love with a ginger kid.

[Cooper]

lives with a ferret and a goat

[MassHysteria]

^Lives with four demons and an angel.

[Cooper]

definatly has hidden cameras at my house

[MassHysteria]

^Takes really long showers and can never find his sunglasses.

[Cooper]

refuses to turn those damn cameras off

[RedOrange823]

secretly wants the cameras left on

[Cooper]

is next in line for cameras

[MassHysteria]

^Rather enjoys the exhibitionism

[RedOrange823]

rather enjoys watching

[Cooper]

promised not to tell...

SNAKED!!!!!

[RedOrange823]

wants the snake to watch the camera

[Cooper]

I heard he wears a pink thong to work....

[RedOrange823]

uses said pink thong as floss

[Cooper]

wishes, just so he could say that I did...

(shit, that was lame)

[jonnyb]

^^Uses used floss.

^Uses pink thong for flamingos

[RedOrange823]

^rode a flamingo bareback across the country

[Cooper]

must know the Leaf Lady

[RedOrange823]

^married to Aunt Jemima

[jonnyb]

^Wears glitter whenever she gets the chance.

[RedOrange823]

^picturing it

[jonnyb]

^putting it on now

[RedOrange823]

^taking it off now

[Cooper]

<setting up cameras for this...

[jonnyb]

^Porn producer

[Cooper]

porn star

[jonnyb]

^Puffer

[RedOrange823]

^Snorter

[GenessorDios]

^ believes book reviews should be based entirely on the number of words total and words per page.

[Mr Mediocre]

^ Was once asked what 2 + 5 was and answered "carpet"

[RedOrange823]

^sleeps with a carrot-topped teddy bear