Let's Spread Rumors

[jonnyb]

^Spends free time replacing fan blades with razor blades.

[Nikita]

When jonnyb has been naughty, he takes a nail gun and nails his hand to the garage wall and stands there for 5 hours thinking about what he's done.

[reiven]

Nikita has spent so much time in hot tubs lately that her skin is taunt, allowing her headlights to point above the horizon again.

[GenessorDios]

reiven, how many times do I have to tell you? You can't put the cat in the dryer after giving it a shower!

[reiven]

Genessor volunteers weekends as an amature veterinary euthanist

[cannotseethe]

^ prefers anchovies.

[MassHysteria]

^Yankees fan.

[cannotseethe]

^ has worked every concession stand in Yankee stadium.

[jonnyb]

^Packs fly ash under the lids of his eyes.

[Cooper]

^pees the coffin

[AnnoyingPony]

Cooper makes coffins.

[Cooper]

(um, thats true)

AP is a coffin salesperson, in India.

[jonnyb]

^Got lost in his own coffin once. Took a while to hear back from him. Almost died of dehydration.

[Cooper]

^fell out of his coffin one night, was having a dream that he was alive

[jonnyb]

^Had too much booze and pain meds one night and stumbled into my casket with me, thinking it was his. Scared the life into me.

[Cooper]

^screams like a six year old girl

[jonnyb]

^Choir leader of the castrato section.

[Cooper]

^is a VERY sick puppy

[jonnyb]

Yeah, that was a little over the top.

^Wants Jimminy Crickett's job.

[Cooper]

^unibomber wannabe

[plotthickens]

^ has a frilly little pink gingham apron just for barbequeing in

[Cooper]

FAIL!!! I BBQ necked.....!!!

^grows dandylions for show

[jonnyb]

^Is unmoved by bar-b-q grease spatters.

[newday]

^eats b-b-q like a cave troll.

[reiven]

^ wrote a term paper about his fascination with Imelda Marcos

[Nikita]

reiven sticks his finger into his USB port and researches martial arts on wikipedia...he's hoping to upload like Neo.

[reiven]

Nikki has tantric fantasies of my ninja skills

[Nikita]

reiven tried to use a pencil sharpener to sharpen a certain part of his anatomy and it fit in the hole.

[reiven]

nikki says "now i get your point, reiven"

[Nikita]

reiven is the only one who ever gets his "point".

[reiven]

Nikki sleeps in a canvas tent in the side yard of an apartment complex.

[Minerva]

^is homeless.

[GenessorDios]

^ has a weighing scale that ranges from "Whatever" to "Just Kill Yourself"

^^ has a weighing scale that only ever says "Are you on me yet?"

[Distance]

^ Believes that the world is flat so he prays to the turtle God.

[GenessorDios]

^ believes that the elephants are the true gods.

[Wry Satyr]

Beleives that Tesla was God.

[GenessorDios]

Blasphemer! All who deny the greatness of the alternate being are doomed to never achieve Teslanic nirvana!

^ spent a fortune trying to pencil lead into gold.

[reiven]

^ believes he can divine the future by feeling the ridges in hickory tree bark.

[Minerva]

^sniffs hickory smoke to get high.

[jonnyb]

^leaves home often in her underwear. Makes it all the way to work before realizing where the draft is coming from.

[Minerva]

^doesn't seem to mind. Oh, I'm sorry... you're blind, aren't you? Pity!

[jonnyb]

Not to worry, I see with my hands. Still don't mind.

^thinks handicapped people have limitations.

[Minerva]

^is delusional. As if I would ever allow someone who calls himself johnyb to touch even one hair on my head.

[jonnyb]

Good thing my name is JonnyB then. I am still not minding.

^Hair changes colors more often than Crayola wax vats.

[Minerva]

Does not know the difference between upper case and lower case letters.

[WoodsWoman]

^Uses every single crayon in the box every time she draws a picture.

[Minerva]

lol!

Still has a black and white television.

[WoodsWoman]

^doesn't see that that black and white television is an antique.

[Minerva]

Doesn't do her annual Spring cleaning. :nono:

[WoodsWoman]

^because I have to do Min's for her.

[MassHysteria]

^Just wears glasses because she thinks they make her look smart.

[jonnyb]

^Secretly wishes to live in the horse and buggy days.

[WoodsWoman]

^wears sunglasses to hide his glass eye.

[Minerva]

jonnyb rides a donkey to work.

[MassHysteria]

Minerva cries at werewolf movies.

[Minerva]

^loved, loved, loved the Twilight series.

[MassHysteria]

^Giggles every time she eats a hot dog.

[Minerva]

^has a very naive and prudish mind.

[MassHysteria]

^Nearly beat a man to death with a cello.

[Minerva]

^can't tell the difference between a cello and a violin.

[Nikita]

Minerva has a fetish for pocket protectors.

[hutbug]

Nikita likes to sleep with beany babies.

[Nikita]

hutbug wears a tutu over blue jeans so people never forget that she's a ballerina at heart.

[reiven]

Chiquita drinks hot coffee through a straw

[Nikita]

reiven built a microwave big enough for his dog and is dying to test it out.

[reiven]

nikki put a leash on her cat and took it for a drag.

[GenessorDios]

^ uses a bobbing bird to constantly hit refresh so he has both hands free while checking INTJf.

[Cooper]

^is rusty under that blue paint job...

[reiven]

^ is nekkid under that blue/black trench-coat

[GenessorDios]

^ is a pioneer in the mashup community for combining modern day proverbs with Confucian wisdom.He who respects elders, is worth two in the bush.

[reiven]

after laying out his 7,200 piece stamp collection to prepare for exhibit, genessor now regrets leaving the humidifier on overnight

[GenessorDios]

^ ends unwanted conversations by casually drawing swastikas on his forehead with a marker; this tactic has been working less of late now that people see it coming.

[reiven]

^ does a wicked Joan Baez impersonation

[GenessorDios]

^ has the ability to control keyboards through the internet.

^ is an extremely well-liked individual whose philanthropy and caring for his fellow Earth-dwellers knows no bounds. I am privileged to know such a person and I would like the world to know that though this be the rumors thread, what I say here is pure, unadulterated truth. I bow to thee, reiven.

[reiven]

^ is at best a mediocre sock puppet

[GenessorDios]

^ pitched a new character, Triumph the insult comic bra, to Jay Leno for the Tonight Show.

[reiven]

rather than having RL eye surgery to correct his drifting left eye, genessor had the rest of his face moved 10 degrees to the left.

[GenessorDios]

^ thinks only pictures taken of passengers on redeye flights have redeye problems.

[reiven]

^ thought WW2 flights Over The Hump to Burma referred to the position of the airmen in flight

[Minerva]

^can make even WWII sound kinky.

*That's wrong, you know*

[Nikita]

Minerva is turned on by reiven's perspective, she's just afraid to admit it and appear less than PC.

[Minerva]

Nikki is always turned on by reiven.

[GenessorDios]

^ misunderstood the ten second rule; friends are always confused when she prevents herself from picking up dropped food instantly.

[Minerva]

^doesn't know that it is called the 5 second rule.

[reiven]

minerva can type 40 words per minute with her toes, so she has two complete and separate computer systems to keep up with all game threads concurrently.

[Minerva]

^been spying on me again!

[GenessorDios]

^ lists campimp as job description in resume; job entails enticing people to view her camwhores, extorting bandwidth from regular customers and blackmail for influential customers.

[reiven]

^^believed me when i told her i had stopped

^uses compressed air cans to simulate passing gas, so he can feel like he fits in w/the guys

[Minerva]

^bribed the judge so that he was not incarcerated.

[GenessorDios]

^ goes for weekly spa sessions to keep her tail from becoming too hairy.

[reiven]

genessor has constructed a quasi-dangerous obstacle course in the hallway of his home. he will randomly move the more dangerous pieces around and try to navigate the course in the dark.

[GenessorDios]

^ is the master of the cyberspace-cybertime continuum.

[Minerva]

^thinks that sucking up to reiven is a good idea >.<

[reiven]

^ kept confetti samples from every party she's been to

edit:

chimed back in, just to skip the obligatory sucking pun.

[Minerva]

^likes to sound all smart, but gets distracted every time a shiny object passes by.

[reiven]

^has only three diff....
oh look! a bunny!

[GenessorDios]

*I demand royalties*

^ works all day for a mean little man with a clip-on tie and a rub-on tan.

[reiven]

^ painted puppies and kittens on his kitchen cabinetry.
not very good ones, either

[GenessorDios]

^ drooled over the cabinets when he came to visit.

[Nikita]

GD's face is half paralyzed, and he spurts drool everytime he laughs.

[jonnyb]

^Only rival is Annie Oakley.

[Nikita]

jonnyb screams like a little girl if he wakes up in the middle of the night and see a teddy bear at the foot of the bed...staring at him

[GenessorDios]

^ proclaimed herself queen of the mute because she figured they couldn't voice their dissatisfaction.

[Nikita]

GD just wishes I were mute.

[reiven]

Nikita O'riely can hear the helocopters before anyone else in the camp.

[Weber]

^ is a chav

[Nikita]

Weber carries around a pool cue like a scepter and demands that all bow down and kiss his cue balls.

[reiven]

nikki wears a cape.
i've seen it.

[hutbug]

reiv's necklace is...fake!!

[Nikita]

hutbug dresses reiven in lace gloves and a hat for church every Sunday, and let us not forget his pearls!

[reiven]

nikki's leg hair falls in braids

[Nikita]

reiven's only bulge comes from pubic hair.

[hutbug]

Nikita's gun is nailed to her forehead, she's really in pain, is just trying to look like she wants to be in that pose.

[reiven]

nikky subscribes to True Detective magazine

[Nikita]

hutbug and reiven have formed a super secret NT-only club...it meets in reiven's mom's backyard in the treehouse reiven built as a kid.

[Weber]

Nikita has sacrificed three goats and her soul in order to become the first member to reach 20k posts

[reiven]

nikkei ordered a 9' diameter umbrella off the internet so she could 'hang glide' from the roof of her home. the internet add was a scam and she lost $225 in the deal

[Minerva]

Put up the add for the umbrella that could substitute for a hand glider.

[jonnyb]

^^ Reiven: poster child for Mothers Against Malnourished Americans. I guess one could call him a MAMAs boy.

^Minerva: Gets in the way and places herself underfoot of passrerbys.

[reiven]

^ owns a most interesting handgun

[Minerva]

jonnyb is to afraid to use his handgun, but really should.

[jonnyb]

^^ Reiven: Wants to borrow my interesting handgun to give as a gift to a few people he knows.

^Min: Worse than an excited puppy running under the feet of those trying to walk.

[reiven]

JB doesn't lift either lid and blames the wet floor on faulty plumbing

[Minerva]

jonnyb can't stop himself from having fantasies about me.

[jonnyb]

Sure Minerva, you can borrow my cool handgun....,,*wakes up*

^can't stop talking about me.

[reiven]

minerva loves me
she thinks i'm sexy
she wants to kiss me

[Minerva]

Reiven is also having fantasies about me. He is also blind as a bat. How could anyone think that that thing (avatar) is sexy? He is clearly projecting his thoughts of me unto me, the object of his affection.

[jonnyb]

^Has no self opinion problems.

[Minerva]

^wishes to emulate me.

[reiven]

^ wants to hug me

[jonnyb]

^Posts dirty, perverted subjects.

[reiven]

jonnyb is actually an ex-pat in Manila and is under surveillance by a covert branch of the government that calls itself Child Protective Services for a reason...

[Minerva]

^ wants to hug me

Reiven clearly needs some more clothing. What? Are you still cold?

[jonnyb]

^^Revien is the last of a third-Earth tribe that used to be safely tuck away near the core of the Earth until that fatefull day the Exxon drill shaft penetrated the lair.

[reiven]

jonny paid a fifth grader $8 to write his spelling words 20 times each, and got away with it

[jonnyb]

Reiven made money as a fifth grader writing out spelling words.

[Cooper]

^STILL looking for a new coffin....

[jonnyb]

Waiting for ^ to make me one.

[reiven]

cooper has started turning people away from The Alley

[Cooper]

^^ needs to say what style

^put a motor on his walker

[jonnyb]

One with a racing motor.

^This is the time of year Coop has to re-black his cape with a sharpie marker.

[Weber]

^has drawn up his sideburns with a sharpie marker

[Cooper]

^fears being used as a BBQ this time of year...

[Fyrnae]

^ Has a clue

[reiven]

^ clipped av from a Summers Eve Infomercial

[Fyrnae]

reiven was told by the salesman who sold him that hat that englishmen really wear that and it would get him lots of girls. Also adopted baggy trousers in the modern chav style, you just can't see below the edge of his av that the crotch of the trousers is between his knees.

[WoodsWoman]

^spends most of her spare time advocating that Gaelic become the primary language of Great Britain.

[GenessorDios]

^ became a coroner because she really liked poking dead bodies with a stick.

[MassHysteria]

^Doesn't know how toast works.

[WoodsWoman]

^is personally responsible for all the Loch Ness Monster information.

[Nikita]

^ plasters her bedroom ceiling with LOLcat posters.

[Reganon]

Nikita works at the Hello Kitty factory where they manufacture adorable merchandise from the carcasses of real kittens.

[WoodsWoman]

Reganon lost his compass and can't find his way home.

[Nikita]

WoodsWoman refuses to recognize any gender other than "he".

[WoodsWoman]

Nikita can change the caliber of her gun but the power of thought.

[Nikita]

WoodsWoman wants to control the minds of everyone she meets.

[Reganon]

Nikita wants to control the genitalia of everyone she meets.

[Nikita]

Reganon was born without genitalia.

[Reganon]

Nikita was born without a mother.

[jonnyb]

^Reganon has a self destruct button on her forehead.

[Nikita]

jonnyb throws DVDs like Chinese throwing stars at the neighbors.

[Reganon]

Nikita is so desperate for entertainment she watched the youtube video of it.

[jonnyb]

^ Calls for souvenier dvds, preferably with blood spatters on them.

[Nikita]

jonnyb paints his face with homemade paints...he mixes spices into vegetable oil.

[jonnyb]

^Turns fish into loaves of bread.

[Reganon]

jonnyb doesn't understand what a vast improvement that is

[Nikita]

Reganon believes she is the 2nd coming of Christ...and she believes in the 1st coming.

[Reganon]

Nikita is one of my lesser disciples. She brings us coffee in the morning.

[Nikita]

Reganon imagines she is gollum.

[Reganon]

Nikita imagines she's my precious.

[Nikita]

Reganon calls her genitalia her precious.

[Reganon]

And Nikita wishes she could be them (strange question, but is that supposed to be plural in all cases?)

[Nikita]

Reganon thinks that everybody wants to be them.

(Well, can you think of a time when you would refer to someone's genital absent the addition of warts?)

[Reganon]

Nikita thinks that learning to multiply large numbers in her head is a good use of her time.

[Nikita]

Reganon doesn't even know how to multiply large numbers with a calculator.

[Reganon]

Nikita didn't realize I was computing in base 16

2 x 6 = C

[Nikita]

Reganon always makes excuses for her failings instead of owning up to them.

[Reganon]

Nikita fell for my last one. I told her I couldn't visit today because I had to babysit my emotionally disturbed pet snake- and she bought it!

[Nikita]

Reganon lives in a dream world with magical voices.

[Reganon]

Nikita doesn't understand what it means to be an INTJ- otherwise she'd hear the voices too.

[Synapse]

Reganon merely types herself as an INTJ: only the xxFPs hear the voices.

[Reganon]

Synapse is a few trillion short of a real brain.

[Nikita]

Reganon makes her own shoes out of empty coke liters in an effort to empathize with children in Africa.

[Reganon]

Nikita tried to one up me by taking off all of her clothes to empathize with the even more destitute.

[Nikita]

Reganon only tried to get me to take off my clothes because she isn't old enough yet to get into a strip joint, but wanted the experience.

[Reganon]

Nikita is too sexy to be compared to the real thing ;)

[Nikita]

Reganon must want something...I see that INTJ mind working with the sudden niceness.

[Reganon]

Nikita gets trapped in circular logic every time she tries to analyze my motives

[Nikita]

Reganon always has a motive...be forewarned.

[Reganon]

Nikita isn't motivated by anything. That's why she's so lazy in bed.

[Nikita]

Reganon only imagines what I'm like in bed because she bores herself to sleep when left with her own thoughts.

[Reganon]

Nikita isn't exciting enough for that to be true

[Nikita]

Reganon constantly contradicts herself.

[Reganon]

Nikita bases her objective reality on statements made in the rumor thread. Ayn Rand would be proud. :rolleyes:

[Nikita]

Reganon wants her future husband to describe her the way that Rearden describes his first impression of Dagny.

[jonnyb]

^draws counterclockwise spirals on walls and rocks and carries a pouch of corpse powder with her at all times.

[Nikita]

jonnyb shot and killed his young, delinquent lover who was described by his other girlfriends and boyfriends as a "walking streak of sex".

[Reganon]

Nikita shot the sheriff- and spent the rest of her life in prison

[jonnyb]

^^ Nikita:Has preoccupations with streaking. Kind of like an obsesive cumpulsive tendancy that surfaces more often than not.

^Reganon is the deputy.

[Nikita]

jonnyb is the creator of Girls Gone Wild and is trying to solicit Reganon for his INTJf Special.

[Reganon]

Nikita is the producer of the slightly less popular Nuns Gone Wild series.

[Nikita]

Reganon is an avid subscriber and has been begging for a Real Catholic School Girls of the Vatican series.

[Reganon]

...which features Nikita as one of said Catholic School Girls. You should see what she does with the crucifix...

[Nikita]

It was Reganon's idea...she wanted to recreate that scene from The Exorcist.

[reiven]

Nikita was the inventor of blueberry flavored condoms...they turn your tongue blue. she's the jealous sort.

[GrnEyz]

^created a condom vending machine that includes a evergreen breath mint with each purchase.

[GenessorDios]

^ was told jokingly as a child that grapes were tree testicles; hasn't eaten one in thirty years.

....sometimes he fondles them....

[GrnEyz]

^for reasons unknown to most, thinks that grapes grow on trees.

[Wry Satyr]

^was maliciously held down by vines and sodomized by tree branches for carelessly carving his initials into a tree.

[GenessorDios]

^ tried to inject himself full of steroids, but his metallic skin was impermeable to hypodermic needles; thankfully he found a cheap supplier of the suppository version.

[MassHysteria]

^Has rusted naughty bits.

[GenessorDios]

^ has insanely strong hands which keep the dragon's mouth close with just a touch on either side.

[MassHysteria]

^Is terribly envious of strong hands.

[GenessorDios]

^ forgoes brushing her teeth and instead opts to have a high pressure hose spray Listerine directly into her mouth for two minutes.

[MassHysteria]

^Plays Russian Roulette with blanks.

[GrnEyz]

^^has three rows of teeth which is unusual even for a robot.

^has tamed the wildest of beasts, including GD.

[MassHysteria]

^Is actually an elf boarding down a largish pile of cocaine.

[GenessorDios]

^ went for a spirit walk after imbibing some Nyquil and was disappointed to find that her spirit guide was a size 14 boot.

[Wry Satyr]

^still claims the Flaming Moe / Flaming Homer was his idea!

[Reganon]

Wry Satyr is ugly ugly.

[MassHysteria]

^Enjoys lying to nuns, frightening little old ladies, kicking puppies and popping little kids' balloons.

[Wry Satyr]

^^still believes she is a wolf cub and is thoroughly pissed about having her mask shot off!

^enjoys talking smut in confessionals to get the priests all riled up, pinching babies, and sucking helium before making phone calls.

[Fyrnae]

^ has his own personal Maypole.

[Wry Satyr]

<enjoys being the center of attention while women dance around my Maypole.

^prefers leaping the bonfire skyclad beneathe a starry sky.

[Fyrnae]

^ goes 'greenwooding'

[Thirdie]

^ was seen adoring werechickens (yush, not werewolves, werechickens).

[Fyrnae]

^ is actually a werechicken, but got left out. Hence the self-hating spite. ;)

[Thirdie]

^ hasn't noticed that there was a werechicken that eats other werechickens (as well as living chickens)... part of the self-hating spite~ :P

[MassHysteria]

^Is totally lying about the werechicken thing.

[Thirdie]

^ is trying to deny the fact that it's a zombie werechicken.

[Fyrnae]

^ was there & filmed it. News at 11!

[MassHysteria]

^Was bitten by the zombie werechicken and is trying to hide it from us. Get her! Get her! When she becomes a zombie werechicken tonight she'll infect us all!!!

[Fyrnae]

^ wants to be infected for she is tired of her current existence.

[Thirdie]

^ is slowly transforming into a zombie werechicken, with her voice resembling that of a... chicken - oh, and she's noticing she's getting lower and lower than her previous size. Soon enough, she'll try to bite other werechickens.

[Fyrnae]

^ plans to queue up for the experience

[Thirdie]

^ doesn't know I'm a were"zombie cannibal horse" - yush, human almost all the time - the other sight is ugly.

[GenessorDios]

^ took a closeup eye picture so no one would realize it's actually on his hand.

[jonnyb]

^has knocked knees.

[MassHysteria]

^Lacks the testosterone for full mutton chops.

[jonnyb]

^Too much testosterone that makes ears go pointy.

[GenessorDios]

People make fun of ^ for wearing shades indoors but they're all insensitive jerks for not knowing that a terrible soldering accident left them permanently affixed to his face.

[jonnyb]

^Would know my pain with his flip up welding goggles afixed to his head.

[GrnEyz]

^once had ambition but set it down somewhere and can't locate it.

[Weber]

^ stole ^^'s ambition and takes pleasure in watching him search for it

[Wry Satyr]

^secret ambition is to expedite global warming to increase sea level, destroy coastal cities and their population, and create oxygen pumps and converters and charge the remaining people exorbitant amounts of money to live.

[Weber]

^sees the movie Zeitgeist as his bible

[Wry Satyr]

^wrote a poem about breathing deeply while sitting in a field full of daisies and black-eyed-susans, listening to the sound crickets, yet with an overwhelming fear of being stung to death by red ants.

<never saw Zeitgeist.

[Weber]

^has been blackmailing me with threats of releasing the poem to the public

[jonnyb]

^Wears an airtight suit with a recirculator system cause he likes to trap and rebreathe his own BO. He is unconsiously doing the rest of us a favor in the meantime.

[Thirdie]

^ collects Hello Kitty items.