Let's Spread Rumors

[DeepThought]

Has an irrational fear of Velcro™.

[mcantrim]

^likes Velcro because 1) it helps him get to the point quicker and 2) it gives him a chance to make that little "TM" notation.

[INTJane]

^ hates Velcro after she foolishly sewed it into her bloomers

[mcantrim]

^has never had velcro stuck in her pubic hair

[DeepThought]

Doesn't have any pubic hair.

[mcantrim]

^ has an irrational fear of women with pubic hair.

[DeepThought]

Once braided her pubic hair into a long rope in order to escape imprisonment from a tall tower.

[mcantrim]

fantasizes about that braid every night

[DeepThought]

Reads my thoughts.

[mcantrim]

^purposely thinks of things he wants me to read

[Espadrille]

^has so much pubic hair that she has to use bobby pins to keep it down (works better than Velcro) .

[jkatra]

^Ghost of George Washington.

[mcantrim]

^^has been sniffing my bobby pins

^is confusing Harvey with History

[zeroemission]

^ confuses her story with his story

[mcantrim]

^never could follow a complex story

[zeroemission]

^ never could get to the effin' point, ever

[Faux hawk]

^has mommy issues.

[mcantrim]

^^thinks a conversation is a destination and not a journey

[zeroemission]

^ merrily skips past important destinations along her whimsical wanderings

[mcantrim]

^thinks whimsy is a fabric softener

[zeroemission]

^ is a vague historian that says whimsy when she means porn star

[Faux hawk]

^good taste in music, but occasionally contradictory.

[mcantrim]

^ thinks poetic license is a form of pornography

[MikeAZ]

^expert on pornography

[mcantrim]

^has a rich fantasy life

[zeroemission]

^ fantasizes of an idyllic rich life complete with a staff of minions at her beck and call

[Faux hawk]

^just makes shit up, sometimes.

[mcantrim]

^^may have hit on one of my fantasies but has little understanding of the day to day reality

[BobtheINTJ]

^day to day reality includes eunochs and male concubines

[zeroemission]

^ likes concubine salads

[BobtheINTJ]

^takes his cucumbers in the shower with him

[Faux hawk]

^is uncomfortable having wet dreams that are all male casts.

[BobtheINTJ]

^extremely comfortable with multiple partners regardless of gender and orientaion

[MikeAZ]

^sleeps in the pool

[zeroemission]

^^ makes lines at the DMV even slower
^ wears goggles and waders in the shower

[Faux hawk]

^has incredibly thick skin.

[mcantrim]

^not particularly selective as the evening gets later.

[BobtheINTJ]

^contemplating poking herself in the eye with a rose thorn

[MikeAZ]

^Cross dresser

[INTJane]

^ wears a dress and a cross

[Espadrille]

^dresses up to go grocery shopping.

[mcantrim]

^won't leave the house without mascera and lipstick

[INTJane]

^ thinks rabbits wear make-up

[zeroemission]

^ has lived such a sheltered life, she's never heard of animal testing

[mcantrim]

^thinks they are only good for pregnancy tests

[BobtheINTJ]

^^Doesn't know he is impugning the knowledge of the bunny whisperer

^should have kept her bloomers on when she went camping.

[zeroemission]

^^ thinks i've sex in the past decade
^ thinks i know what impugning means

[Faux hawk]

^can skip that definition.

[mcantrim]

^ thinks everyone but him is having sex

^^should not have used my bloomers as a pot holder

[BobtheINTJ]

^^ the original "Look that up in your Funk and Wagnalls" woman!

^thankful she forgot to pack pot holders for the camping trip!

[zeroemission]

^^ thinks everyone is having too much sex, oh, wait, that's me.
^^ is having way too much sex
^ is always saying funk, but can't dance to save his life

[mcantrim]

^ likes to type the word, "sex" as often as possible

[BobtheINTJ]

^likes it anytime she can respond to a post with the word "sex"

^^favorite song is "Play that Funky Music" by Wild Cherry and he just happens to be cherry!

[zeroemission]

^^ thinks you can find porn just by talking to your computer
^ uses the word cherry frequently in searches for porn

[mcantrim]

^Is strangely interested in^^'s sex life.

[BobtheINTJ]

^doesn't realize it was a ploy to make her jealous

^^lacks sophisticated voice recognition software and his keyboard is all gummed up.

[zeroemission]

^^ lives vicariously through the interests of and passes of from stamp collecting induced narcolepsy
^ way too much multitasking time on his free hand

[mcantrim]

^^ is sadly mistaken if he thinks I'm a "he"

^is suspiciously knowledgable about stamp collecting.

[BobtheINTJ]

Would never admit to wearing a skirt and bloomers if she was a he.

[zeroemission]

^^ "is that an inverted jenny?" :faint:
^ was a cross dressing late bloomer :curtain:

[Espadrille]

^would never admit to wearing long underwear to bed.

[zeroemission]

^ thinks i ever wear underwear at home

[mcantrim]

^understands the reasons behind wearing long underwear to work.

[BobtheINTJ]

^oh great, now we have a perverted philatelist posting on the forum!

[zeroemission]

^^ wears long underwear to the beach
^ is into philatey just for the licking

[mcantrim]

^got a thrill out of composing that piece of pish-posh

[zeroemission]

^ says quaint words like pish-posh and is entirely pretentious. even the food in her refrigerator is yuppy approved.

[BobtheINTJ]

^was confused and thought we were talking about "campy" not camping.

[mcantrim]

^confuses a full life with pretention and does not have permission to look in my refridgerator.

[BobtheINTJ]

^is particular about who looks in her refrigerator - hides the salami in a secret place

[zeroemission]

^^^ is a tent tennant with tinted tenets
^^ has something really scary in her freezer
^ plays hide the cocktail weenie in a tutu

[mcantrim]

^^wants me to hide his salami too

^is pretentious about tent tennants

[zeroemission]

^ secretly want to be renamed "Hortence"

[BobtheINTJ]

^^looking for some fun games to play on Saturday nights

^has numerous friends called Hortence.

[mcantrim]

^Reads my mind again and again!

[gracious]

^ Had her mind written in braille.

[BobtheINTJ]

^expert in phrenology

[mcantrim]

^looking for an excuse to run his fingers through my hair.

[gracious]

Scalped BobtheINTJ.

[BobtheINTJ]

^leader of a gang of sociopath women intent on emasculating men

[gracious]

^ Begs to be invited to our gatherings.

[stealthfighter]

^leader of a group called Blazing Chickens.

[mcantrim]

^^takes advantage of every opportunity to be scalped by a woman and finds it strangely erotic.

^needs to be more choosy when issuing invitations.

[gracious]

^^ Calls in every week ordering breast meat.

[BobtheINTJ]

^has established strict initiation rites into their gang - involves bloomers and hot potatoes

[gracious]

^ Is more of a yam man.

[mcantrim]

^^candied

[gracious]

^^^ with little marshmallows.

[BobtheINTJ]

^^mesmerizes men with talk of candied gams...I mean yams

^geez...it's hard to keep up with 2 of you! Can we melt the marshmallows?

[gracious]

^ Always says grace(ious) before his meals.

[mcantrim]

and eats everything in front of him...

[gracious]

^ Makes the S'mores for dessert.

[zeroemission]

^ feeds (her?) significant other edible panties and asks
s'mores?
s'mores?
s'mores?

[gracious]

^ Does not find me very feminine.

[mcantrim]

^^forgot to say Grac(ious)

^is entirely feminine

[BobtheINTJ]

^pretty sure she has been found very feminine by very many

[gracious]

^ Has edible boxer shorts but finds them too comfortable to consume.

[jkatra]

^Former member of Depeche Mode.

[gracious]

^ Current member of A Flock of Seagulls.

[mcantrim]

^^is either insulting or complementing...what to think?

^is full from whipped cream anyway.

[stealthfighter]

^^Lives by the mantra "Birds of the same feather flock together."

^Still believes in the flower power.

[gracious]

^^ Used real whips.

^ Leaving on a jet plane.

[stealthfighter]

^Wanted for immolation.

[gracious]

^ Faster than the speed of smell.

[stealthfighter]

^Faster than a dying turtle.

[gracious]

^ Put a can of tuna on a fishing line and claimed to have caught it.

[DeepThought]

Tried once to catch the Loch Ness monster with a bamboo cane and 50 yards of 5 lbs fishing line.

[jkatra]

^Taught the Loch Ness monster how to tap dance.

[zeroemission]

^ wants to teach yeti to swim

[stealthfighter]

^he knows cause he is a yeti.

[venuspop]

^ had big feet.

[stealthfighter]

^usually forgets that she has to walk on four legs.

[venuspop]

Sometimes he goes around telling people he had a tail.

[DeepThought]

Still has her tail.

[INTJane]

^ can bake

[DeepThought]

^ Is baked.

[INTJane]

^ put me in an oven at 350 degrees

[DeepThought]

It's properly done unless baked at 400 degrees.

[MikeAZ]

Still has his Easy-Bake

[Faux hawk]

^Is really pissed that they started putting brakes in on merry-go-rounds.

[Espadrille]

^gets really pissed before going on a date.

[INTJane]

^ dates only the finest

[MrControll]

Doesn't flirt with just anybody.

[zeroemission]

^ that would be discrimination and a waste of time... just bends over and yells "come and get it!" while ringing a triangle

[Faux hawk]

^tries to understand like a good friend.

[BobtheINTJ]

^Generous to a fault with her gifts.

[DeepThought]

Known to take money from the church's collection plate as it was being passed around.

[jkatra]

^Batman.

[mcantrim]

^Alfred

[MikeAZ]

^a bat

[WoodsWoman]

^Interpol mole.

[MikeAZ]

eats moles

[mcantrim]

^mole mouser

[MikeAZ]

^ works for Disney

[mcantrim]

^verifing my credentials to know a mouse when I see one!

[MikeAZ]

Like the taste of fondant

[zeroemission]

^ knows a lot of pretentious words

[BobtheINTJ]

^^uses fancy words for Reddi-whip.

^steals thunder

[zeroemission]

^ steals D batteries in bulk

[Faux hawk]

^runs down batteries.

[MikeAZ]

Runs down kids

[Faux hawk]

Let's them run into the street instead.

[MikeAZ]

Works in a crosswalk

[zeroemission]

^ secretly wishes he could wear that bright orange sash & badge... then no one would ever bully him again ever

[mcantrim]

^promised me marzipan and never delivered

[BobtheINTJ]

^wanted the marzipan shaped like fruit and small animals

[mcantrim]

^thinks marzipan grows on trees

[zeroemission]

^ thinks marzipan is an alien primate

[Espadrille]

^is an alien primate.

[zeroemission]

^ watches way too much star trek

[Espadrille]

^never watches enough Sunday morning TV (for the sake of his soul) .

[BobtheINTJ]

^gives people way too much credit.

[zeroemission]

^^ keeps waiting for cartoons every sunday
^ has 425 identities, 783 credit cards and still can never have enough D batteries

[Faux hawk]

^still doesn't like yellow.

[BobtheINTJ]

^sees life through a kaleidoscope of colors

[Faux hawk]

^knows colorful jokes.

[BobtheINTJ]

^knows only off-color jokes

[DeepThought]

Only told a joke once and it bombed badly.

[INTJane]

^ builds tremendously large and high card houses

[DeepThought]

Frequently knocks down said card houses just for yucks.

[INTJane]

^ world champion at dominoes

[venuspop]

^ had long sexy legs and wears those sinful heels everywhere.

[INTJane]

^ has a secret super power

[stealthfighter]

^has a dark secret

[Espadrille]

^extorts people's secrets to sell them on ebay.

[DeepThought]

Buys said secrets, bundles them, and resells them to gullible investors for a tidy profit.

[INTJane]

^ hitchhikes

[DeepThought]

Also does this, but without her towel (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. y#Knowing_where_one.27s_towel_is)!

[INTJane]

Wishes he were 42.

[MikeAZ]

^Bureaucrat

[BobtheINTJ]

^simultaneously insults Max Weber and INTJane with one vicious rumor!

[zeroemission]

^ conspiracy theorist

[jkatra]

^Your mom.

[zeroemission]

^ necrophilac

[BobtheINTJ]

^zoophile

[zeroemission]

^ plushie

[Espadrille]

Boytoy

[BobtheINTJ]

^^suffers from Objectum Sexuality and wants to have an affair with the Statue of Liberty

^oops! Avatar is actual photo of her on a date

[Espadrille]

^never shaves.

[BobtheINTJ]

^only shaves those sensitive private areas (her ears)

[Shahira]

^isn't actually an INTJ.

[BobtheINTJ]

^is actually an actress from Pakistan who starred in "The Tempest"

[DeepThought]

Was Bin Laden's hair dresser.

[Espadrille]

^was Bin Laden's facebook friend for years.

[BobtheINTJ]

^^Charles Taylor's tailor

^oops again! Can't fit all her ears on her Facebook photo wall

[Espadrille]

^can't fit his whole beard under his hat.

[BobtheINTJ]

^takes beards on dates to confuse everyone about her sexual orientation

[Espadrille]

Eats lots of fruit to enhance sexual performance due to his ignorance of the effects of vitamin C.

[BobtheINTJ]

^Uses LibiGel thinking it enhances her sexual prowess

[Espadrille]

Uses hair gel for a similar effect.

[BobtheINTJ]

^uses mask to hide her unibrow

[Espadrille]

Plucks his.

[BobtheINTJ]

^uses Dermalash to cultivate her unibrow hoping she attracts a suitor with eyebrow fetish

[Espadrille]

^has amazingly hairy knuckles.

[BobtheINTJ]

^can't walk upright because she has so much fur on the bottom of her paws

[Espadrille]

^not very successful with a depilator. For the knuckles.

[BobtheINTJ]

^Looking for someone to strip her excess fur

[gracious]

^ Has not hit puberty yet.

[MikeAZ]

^tracks peoples progress through puberty

[zeroemission]

^ tracks people's progress with hidden GPS units and binoculars

[INTJane]

^ king of spices

[zeroemission]

^ wannabe spice girl

[INTJane]

^ didn't hear me ask for Cinnamon Girl, not the Spice Girls *rolls eyes in exasperated look*

[zeroemission]

^ easily stressed out over the most trivial of things

[BobtheINTJ]

^hopes to be Gracious' next social engagement

[mcantrim]

^needs to get over this fantasy

[zeroemission]

^ has a rich fantasy life complete with doilies

[mcantrim]

^secretly wished I would make him a doily - and starch it for him.

[BobtheINTJ]

^seems to have had a bit too much starch tonight!

[mcantrim]

^wishes he could take the starch out of me.

[gracious]

^ Took a suggestion from the Bounce sheets.

[mcantrim]

^doesn't know that fabric softener and starch don't mix.

[BobtheINTJ]

^believes there is nothing sexier than a woman and her starched bloomers!

[gracious]

^ Shouts it out.

[BobtheINTJ]

^tries to make others think she is 99 44/100% pure

[gracious]

< And I like it too!

[mcantrim]

^^likes to think that everyone has starch in their shorts.

^is purely delightful.

[gracious]

^ Strong enough for a man but made for a woman.

[BobtheINTJ]

^won't tell anyone about last night's "social" engagement!

[gracious]

^ Would not be able to contain his jealousy.

[BobtheINTJ]

^underestimates other's ability to resist jealousy

[gracious]

^ Will have to read about it in the tabloids like everyone else.

[BobtheINTJ]

^The Enquirer says there was nothing social about this engagement

[gracious]

^ Knows I am engaged to INTJane.

[mcantrim]

^out and proud
^^is really only interested in the tractor

[BobtheINTJ]

^^everyone knows that is an open relationship

^never did say what role the tractor plays in all this

[mcantrim]

Would cry if he knew what we to to bellowing men and sheep molesters with the tractor.

[INTJane]

^ and ^^ are messin' with my flame

[BobtheINTJ]

^^perpetuates myth of the Didgeridoo producing a "bellowing" sound and mistakes me for Zeroemission (the zoophile).

^INTJane is threatenting to get all butch on us now!

[gracious]

^^^ Once threatened ^ with a combine and got ^ all excited and confused.

[BobtheINTJ]

^the excited part is understandable, the confusion was due to the size of the Didgeridoo

[gracious]

^ Thinks kazoos are the same as didgeridoos.

[BobtheINTJ]

Thinks they sound the same, but doesn't blow them hard enough

[gracious]

< Learned my technique by watching ^ perform.

[BobtheINTJ]

^makes up stories about Bob's Didgeridoo - knows he owns one but makes false claims about him playing it.

[mcantrim]

^has not yet realized that Didgeridoo's sound best when combined with bagpipes and African drums....

[BobtheINTJ]

^has seen too many Yanni concerts

[gracious]

^^ Knows how to play Amazing Grace(ious).

^ More of a solo performer.

[mcantrim]

^^ Is unfamiliar with the Red Hot Chili Pipers

^Likes to sing Amazing Grace

[BobtheINTJ]

^^now thinks she is Maesto of the INTJf orchestra

^does much more than sing amazing Grace

[MikeAZ]

Grew up on set

[mcantrim]

^Jealous because I'm a first soprano in the symphony chorus.

[MikeAZ]

Thinks people like the symphony

[BobtheINTJ]

^doesn't care that women like to talk opera and classical music - that could be why he is looking out over wide open spaces

[MikeAZ]

Fakes interests for sex

[mcantrim]

^studied opera mainly as a vehicle to seduce impressionable young women

---------- Post added 06-27-2012 at 08:49 PM ----------

^talked about birthing sheep during his last opera.

[MikeAZ]

Worked on her

[gracious]

^^ Will be seduced at the opera by her husband.

^ Has a phD in massage.

[MikeAZ]

Lights his own fire

[gracious]

Thinks I am Jim Morrison reincarnated.