Let's Spread Rumors

[mcantrim]

^ has tin foil on her windows to reflect her late night sporkable noshes...

[gracious]

^ Will only eat meals prepared by Chef Boyardee.

[mcantrim]

^ likes to ban questions and question bans.

[gracious]

^ Celine Dion's stunt double.

[Faux hawk]

Took the name gracious after what is uttered after she tells someone that needed to be told, but it's only carefully whispered after she's swayed away.

[gracious]

^ Has never bought anything at one of my garage sales but haggles anyway.

[mcantrim]

^ is confused after having sniffed too much body lotion.

[gracious]

^ Is allergic to bees yet tempts fate by hanging around next to the rose bushes all day.

[stealthfighter]

^Allergic to fire extinguishers.

[BobtheINTJ]

^^Became an expert in cross pollination of roses by stimulating the stigmas

^carries a spare flame extinquisher when visiting gay bars.

[gracious]

Still has the stigmatas from that Easter re-enactment.

[zeroemission]

^^ uses irises for self gratification mumbling something about queen bees and nectar
^ showed up to an easter party dressed as a leprechaun

[BobtheINTJ]

^^big fan of passion - not just in plays

[gracious]

^^ Is actually Winnie the Pooh.

^ After a successful date, dresses up as Winnie the Pooh.

[zeroemission]

slums it with people dressed as winnie the pooh

[gracious]

^ Tried to substitute Splenda for honey.

[BobtheINTJ]

^packs a mean pistil!

[gracious]

Prefers self-pollination (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

[BobtheINTJ]

^abstains from sex, worried that she will contract Pon Farr.

[gracious]

^ Only pleasures self with images of Jamie Farr (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.).

[stealthfighter]

^Responsible for the wildfires in Australia and California.

[zeroemission]

^started all the rest and is jealous of gracious for stealing his thunder on his birthday of all days

[Faux hawk]

^overtly claims a love of pussys.

[zeroemission]

^isn't a cat person

[stealthfighter]

^Is actually a chameleon with camouflage disorder.

[zeroemission]

^once got top score on a video game once in 1988 and we still haven't heard the last of it

[Faux hawk]

^is still talking about it because it bumped his score.

[zeroemission]

likes to walk backwards into washing machines and hum amazing grace

[venuspop]

When no one is listening, ^ hums "Twinkle, twinkle Little Star."

[zeroemission]

^sings tip toe through the tulips on crowded elevators as sung by flipper

[Faux hawk]

^has a thing for flipper?

[zeroemission]

^has a flipper for a thing

[venuspop]

^ flips his thing.

[INTJane]

^ an extremely somber and serious person

[zeroemission]

^ hydrogen peroxide

[stealthfighter]

^sodium chloride

[zeroemission]

^NACL with peppy pepper

[jkatra]

^Favors salt but frowns on pepper.

[Espadrille]

^has deep frown lines from telling lies.

[jkatra]

^Is a liar and pants are really on fire.

[Espadrille]

^wears pants inside out to get both sides dirty before washing.

[zeroemission]

^wears pants on head before getting dirty and panting

[INTJane]

^ dirty

[BobtheINTJ]

^woman of few words, but most of them involve food and sex

[INTJane]

^ has never had a chocolateorgasm

[BobtheINTJ]

^doth protest her innocence too much!

[Faux hawk]

^wants to eradicate innocence!

[BobtheINTJ]

^believes the story of Adam and Eve with the apple and snake was fiction

[Faux hawk]

^believes if he wants it bad enough his snake can talk...

[BobtheINTJ]

^apparently fluid in the language of one-eyed snakes

[INTJane]

^ hopeless corrupter

[BobtheINTJ]

^only has a dark side under her sun glasses

[Espadrille]

Bobs for apples - but only in the dark.

[BobtheINTJ]

^underneath those rabbit ears she is hiding little horns.

[Espadrille]

^is often devilishly hungry for horned toad.

[IronSulfide]

^ is a veteran poker cheat.

[Espadrille]

^poker addict.

[INTJane]

^ poker shark

[Espadrille]

Shark detector.

[INTJane]

^ lapin detective

[Espadrille]

^has a smoke detector in her nose.

[INTJane]

^ wiggles her nose to look cute

[DeepThought]

Witch detector.

[INTJane]

^ has a crush on Agnes Moorehead because of her name

[BobtheINTJ]

^big fan of Gladys Kravitz - greatest hope is to emulate her

[INTJane]

^ identifies with Darrin

[IronSulfide]

^ tries to emulate Marsha Brady.

[INTJane]

^ broke my nose

[IronSulfide]

^ was just looking for an excuse to have a nose job.

[BobtheINTJ]

^^^^fantasizes that she is Samantha having a 3 way with Dick York and Dick Sargent (ISP is a little slow today - ha ha!)

^funny coming from a reptilian-like creature with a point nose

[IronSulfide]

^ likes to shake people's hands so he can steal their wristwatches.

[BobtheINTJ]

^original reason people don't like to shake hands with anything that gets wet

[DeepThought]

Has no concept of personal space.

[INTJane]

^ middle name is Dark

[DeepThought]

Pretends to be emotionally distressed in order to garner sympathy.

[Espadrille]

Sympathizes with feelers.

[INTJane]

^ feels with sympathy

[Espadrille]

Writes her feelings in a secret journal.

[INTJane]

^ working on her future Pulitzer prize winning piece which will be called True Stories from the 1%. Will barely change our names in her work so that we are easily recognized. Mine will be Janit.

[Espadrille]

Janit will spill the beans to the New York Times just prior to publication of said piece.

[DeepThought]

^ Will be accepting payment for said book will be in the form of carrots, lettuce, and celery sticks.

[WoodsWoman]

^cannot imagine why anyone would bother to invest in light bulbs.

[Faux hawk]

^loves fours and three equally, but won't admit it in polite company.

[jkatra]

^Her future will be determined in Ohio someday.

[Faux hawk]

^he's still just kidding at you.

[jkatra]

^Master of disaster.

[INTJane]

^ pedals a Big Wheel to work

[mcantrim]

^thinks dammit janit is her real name...

[INTJane]

^ creature of the night

[mcantrim]

^lady of the evening

[INTJane]

^ my number one client

[gracious]

^ Pimped her Vespa.

[INTJane]

^ paves over her pimp

[mcantrim]

^Likes things that can be ridden.

[INTJane]

^ taught me everything I know

[gracious]

^ found out that yodeling is not a skill that is as widely sought as ^^ said it was.

[INTJane]

^ dresses in dirndls to lift up her bosom

[gracious]

^ prefers to just use a pallet and forklift method.

[INTJane]

^ made me laugh so hard I forgot what I was doing here

um...

gracious is jealous of the largest tatas in all of Nebraska but due to her competitive spirit, she's saving up for an operation

[mcantrim]

^^ made me laugh til I cried

^is jealous of corn-fed assets.

[gracious]

^^ Refuses to make a donation to the cause even when I tell her 'it's for the children'.

[INTJane]

True, but that's because she already told me she calls her dirndl-lifted breasts "my babies."

[mcantrim]

^^doesn't understand the meaning of "my cup runneth over."

^believes they really are babies and wants to hold one of them.

[gracious]

In the event of a plane crash,
<--
will serve as a flotation device.

[INTJane]

^ will save herself and mcantrim. Apparently I will be able to save the rest of the plane.

[venuspop]

^ won't think twice about saving a poor dog.

[Faux hawk]

^bites

[Espadrille]

^sucks eggs.

[stealthfighter]

^munches carrots.

[INTJane]

^ fights stealths

[stealthfighter]

^Fights paparazzi.

[INTJane]

^ takes pictures of blonds he doesn't know

[stealthfighter]

^takes pictures of random strangers thinking one of them could be the right one.

[venuspop]

^ believes there's a Medusa in every woman.

[INTJane]

^ believes in laughter

[venuspop]

^ is dependable.

[stealthfighter]

^is loyal.

[venuspop]

^ nice.

[BobtheINTJ]

obedient

[DeepThought]

Purchases toy dogs as fashion accessories.

[Espadrille]

^purchases accessories that consist only of leather and steel tipped nails.

[IronSulfide]

^ Attacks random strangers with her power stapler.

[Faux hawk]

^staples cookie dough.

[gracious]

^ Eats children's macaroni art.

[BobtheINTJ]

^runs exclusive Art Gallery dedicated to the art of cookie dough and abstract macaroni art!

[jkatra]

^Super criminal.

[gracious]

^^ Does not believe that there is no subliminal advertising happening at my Kraft Art Gallery.

^ Posts based on messages from Magic 8 Ball.

[thebrainpolice]

^Consults fortune cookies before all major decisions.

[gracious]

^ Failed fortune cookie fortune writer. Known best for: "Confucius say Man is calling from inside house".

[zeroemission]

^ has choked on fortunes inside cookies 7,229 times

[DeepThought]

Can't urinate without permission.

[zeroemission]

can't stop urinating without permission

[WoodsWoman]

^is fixated on fecal products.

[stealthfighter]

^Poops on the neighbor's lawn.

[zeroemission]

^ has "Take My Breath Away" on infinite loop

[IronSulfide]

^ runs a burlesque house.

[DeepThought]

Visits there often.

[IronSulfide]

^ is the number one attraction.

[DeepThought]

My least favorite client.

[MikeAZ]

^Stoner

[INTJane]

^ has 11 toes

[DeepThought]

Can't count.

[MikeAZ]

^Counting on scoring a bag

[DeepThought]

Was once on the cover of High Times magazine.

[leslissocool]

^ is editor in chief of High Times Magazine

[INTJane]

^ is editor-in-chief to Yellow Flowers magazine, circulation: 14.

[DeepThought]

Is deathly afraid of yellow flowers.

[INTJane]

Truly, madly, deeply loves us all.

[DeepThought]

Is my first disciple.

[leslissocool]

is on a mental hospital claiming he's Jesus re-incarnation

[DeepThought]

Is my roommate in said hospital.

[leslissocool]

had electro shock therapy and is hallucinating

[DeepThought]

Enjoys shocking people with a cattle prod.

[leslissocool]

^ pays for getting shocked with it on a regular basis

[zeroemission]

has never heard of electrolysis

[Espadrille]

^has a lot of hair on his knuckles.

[zeroemission]

^ can't make eye contact even with self in a mirror and talks to people through their hands. injured neck trying to learn ASL

[Espadrille]

Sprained his neck peeping up women's skirts.

[zeroemission]

walks everywhere looking down

[Espadrille]

Embarrasses himself.

[zeroemission]

^ embarrasses others for sport

[Espadrille]

Likes polka dotted ties.

[zeroemission]

likes to be tied up at polkas

[DeepThought]

Champion accordion player.

[INTJane]

^ according to him, he's a champion

[BobtheINTJ]

^no longer wears panties so men can't look up her skirt and see her underwear

[INTJane]

^ grew really excited when he found that out

[zeroemission]

^ swelled with pride when someone actually noticed

[INTJane]

^ 13-year-old masquerading as an adult

[zeroemission]

^ 53 year old 350 pound bald & sweaty guy in new jersey posing as a 13 year old catholic schoolgirl

[venuspop]

^ is an 18 year-old short-sighted geek peering a little too closely into ^'s monitor.

[stealthfighter]

^is color blind.

[Dung]

^ Is afraid to flight.

[zeroemission]

^ is taking flight right now... LOOK! i'm not making this up!

[Espadrille]

^flies on a broomstick.

[INTJane]

^ hops around and wakes up the birds to sing

[Espadrille]

^poses as a banana on grocery fruit displays so much does she crave attention.

[INTJane]

^ pays special attention to bananas in the grocery store (?)

[zeroemission]

^ pays a premium for plantains

[Espadrille]

^has an unhealthy curiosity about other people's shopping habits.

[INTJane]

^ wants neither attention nor bananas

[IronSulfide]

^ wants to bring the temperance movement to sushi bars.

[Espadrille]

^eats a lot of raw fish in public places.

[DeepThought]

Really did once think that tuna was a type of sea chicken.

[INTJane]

^ Tuna fisherman.

[mcantrim]

^ once got caught in a fish net.

[INTJane]

^ looks super sexy in fish net stockings

[mcantrim]

^needs a garter belt to hold up stockings, but frequently confuses it with her hair band.

[INTJane]

^ is fortunately my neighbor and has saved me thrice from my body stockings by using her hedge clippers

[mcantrim]

^ is staulked by her stockings.

[INTJane]

^ confuses stalking with caulking

[mcantrim]

^ has more issues than I realized if she is caulking her stockings.

[INTJane]

^ needs tissues for her issues

[mcantrim]

^ Uses tissues instead of a proper embroidered linen handkerchief.

[INTJane]

^ has a downstairs staff of 25 just to feed her and dress her

[zeroemission]

^ had so many safe words it became easier to just make "dumpling" her danger word

[INTJane]

^ likes to be called "dumpling"

[zeroemission]

^ used to get teased and called 4 eyes every day...
'till she got glasses

[Espadrille]

Likes to tease.

[zeroemission]

^ mistook everyone constantly telling her to "shoe, shoe" for advice on a nickname to chose.

[INTJane]

^ took French I; listened but didn't crack the textbook open

[zeroemission]

^ doesn't know merde about la francais, but is a world champion at staring contests and a competitive stalker

[Faux hawk]

^wants to be competitively stalked.

[jkatra]

^Wants you to buy a disability insurance policy.

[Espadrille]

^wants to buy a 10 gallon hat.

[BobtheINTJ]

^selling used 10 gallon hat since it doesn't fit properly.

[gracious]

^ Attempted to order a 37.85412 Litre hat from Canada.

[Espadrille]

^thinks Canada is dry.

[gracious]

^ thinks Canada is 'near Korea somewhere'.

[BobtheINTJ]

^knows Canada is dry whether measured in liters or gallons

[gracious]

^ Has a wet sense of humour (i.e. drools on self when laughing at own jokes).

[DeepThought]

Has excessively sweaty feet.

[gracious]

^ Contemplates my feet often.

[BobtheINTJ]

^size 12 Canadian

[Faux hawk]

^dreams of nose tacos.

[gracious]

^ Prefers to call them snout tacos.

[Faux hawk]

^often places a snout where it doesn't belong...

[BobtheINTJ]

^Judgemental about where people stick their snouts

[Faux hawk]

^knows he sticks his snout where he ought not, and hates being called on it.

[WoodsWoman]

^often is spotted resting on laurels.

[DeepThought]

Is jealous of laurels.

[WoodsWoman]

^real name is Laurel.

[SelfInflected]

^Name used to be Woman's Wood

[zeroemission]

^ bogarts

[WoodsWoman]

^meet Humphrey.

[zeroemission]

^ refuses to watch any movie made after 1950

[SelfInflected]

^cannot connect the dots.

[MikeAZ]

^ Homer's SpiderPig

[WoodsWoman]

^ is completely colorblind

[SelfInflected]

Sings in others' showers.

[MikeAZ]

^can't make up his mind

[SelfInflected]

^Couldn't pay the bill, so he had his mind shut off.

[WoodsWoman]

^is a tornado chaser.

[SelfInflected]

^Threw an "O" in the well and said, "oh well"

[WoodsWoman]

^eats candied apples for supper every night.

[SelfInflected]

^Spends at least one day a week trying to determine whether the "does a bear crap in the woods" phrase holds-up.

[zeroemission]

^ threw a party, no one showed up, and is just moping on his hemorrhoid doughnut "O" and getting so stoned he mistakes it for a toilet in the woods

[MikeAZ]

^puts in to much effort sometimes (or types really fast)

[SelfInflected]

^tries to liven-up the mood by singing Frank Sinatra songs in the Smurf language.

[zeroemission]

^^ hacks webcams

^ once tagged smurfette

[SelfInflected]

^thought that "handlebars" were places where truckers went to drink and meet one another in person.

[WoodsWoman]

^is a professional pilot.

[SelfInflected]

^eats moss

[MikeAZ]

^is stuffed and freeze dried

[SelfInflected]

^is looking into the vastness of a canyon, wondering where those car keys are.

[WoodsWoman]

^is actually a dog. (It's the internet, you know.)

[SelfInflected]

^knows the internet better than Al Gore.

[WoodsWoman]

^is Linus Torvalds (To view links or images in this forum your post count must be 15 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.)

[INTJane]

^^'s favorite things are all in ^^'s avatar

^ foxy lady!

[zeroemission]

^ eats lox with a fox scantily clad on the docks and rocks the sox of jocks for blocks