Let's Spread Rumors

[gracious]

Not welcome in any of the restaurants in his home town anymore for offering to show the waitresses his 'big tip'.

[Fujimoto]

^ Calls the plumber every other day, telling him her pipes are empty.

[gracious]

^ Tool belt contains some items that are not approved by any professional associations.

[Fujimoto]

^ Has a bureau with a padlocked door.

[gracious]

^ Sells keys on Craigslist.

[Fujimoto]

^ Browses Craigslist's "missed connections" section to see if anyone mentioned her.

[gracious]

^ Browses the Harlequin romances at the bookstore.

[Reizu]

^Stalks her local barber.

[gracious]

^ Goes to fancy salons and insists on getting a mullet.

[Fujimoto]

^ maintains inch-long toenails.

[Reizu]

^Ran over the Taco Bell chihuahua.

[Fujimoto]

^ Puts every flavor of Taco Bell sauce on each bite.

[IronSulfide]

^ Keys police vehicles whenever he gets the chance.

[speiss]

^ Lives off a diet of purely aluminum and hammers.

[IronSulfide]

^ Eats coins.

[speiss]

^ Eats children.

[jkatra]

^Doesn't share.

[Espadrille]

^doesn't own any shares of Apple stock.

[Moxiie]

^ once decided to invest in a company that specialized in the production of dust bunnies, needless to say, the investment has yet to yield the vast personal wealth expected

[Espadrille]

^mixes dust bunnies into mayonnaise for sandwiches.

[Moxiie]

^ twice tried to open a sandwich shop specializing in dust bunny sandwiches. They failed miserably, it was all about location, location, location.

[Espadrille]

Doesn't know that the location of his monkey tail is inappropriate.

[Moxiie]

^ worked for a while as the hand feeder to a laboratory specializing in zombie primates....mmmmmm. brains.

[jkatra]

^Likes saying "mmmmm" and "hmmmmm" and "argggghhh".

[Espadrille]

^is overly critical of forum members with animal avatars.

[MacheteGeek]

^Likes roleplay.

[EmmaKynikos]

holds the guinness world record for longest nose hair. it reached his chin.

[Espadrille]

^shaves her head.

[BobtheINTJ]

Disappointed Hugh Hefner wouldn't make her a playmate.

[CrudeHypothesis]

likes holding balls

[Espadrille]

^pretends to know how to play chess.

[GenessorDios]

^'s addictions were so bad, her doctors recommended she go cold turducken at once.

[MacheteGeek]

^Makes robot sounds without knowing it.

[Espadrille]

Doesn't know what kissing sounds like.

[jkatra]

^Someone you need to protect your children from.

[venuspop]

^ writes speeches for the President.

[jkatra]

^President of the Venuspop Society.

[Espadrille]

^never wears socks.

[venuspop]

^ never listens to good advice.

[Gerard91]

^ always listens to bad advice.

[jkatra]

^Charges $50,000 for each piece of advice.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Can only handle so much advise.

[jkatra]

^Advising you to buy as many compact discs and DVDs as possible.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Likes to make plastic ninja stars.

[jkatra]

^Vice President of the Ninja Society.

[MacheteGeek]

^ King of Sparta in his/her free time.

[Gerard91]

^ pisses into the sink.

[jkatra]

^Built a giant golden palace in the middle of South Dakota.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Lives on the shell of a crab.

[Espadrille]

^lives in a discarded phone booth.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Keeps assuring herself that her pet mice will change their mine and love her again. (3% :D)

[Espadrille]

^regrets having eaten so many mice as a child.

[jkatra]

^Elected a giant mouse to be President of the United States, but was unfairly laughed at.

[Espadrille]

^his best friend is a giant mouse.

[jkatra]

^Best friend is the TV remote control.

[Espadrille]

^talks to the remote.

[jkatra]

^Owns the planet Neptune.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Likes to follow people around the city for fun.

[jkatra]

^Has cups of tea on Sunday with your grandma.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Is fascinated by watching my grandmother drink tea. I would be too. O.o

[jkatra]

^Lost the last 12 rodeos to smarter competitors.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Is a big meany to socially deaf forum members.

[jkatra]

^Lives in Margaritaville.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Lives in Candyland.

[Espadrille]

^often forgets where he lives.

[jkatra]

^Rides a motorcycle while wearing a black leather jacket and swearing loudly.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Often cuddles with bunnies for hilarity.

[Espadrille]

^uses a machete to peel fruit.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Likes to spread rumors.

[jkatra]

^Holding your baby hostage.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Confuses the voices for real people in public.

[jkatra]

^Wants to turn the Pentagon into the Triangle.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks penguins should have the right to vote.

[jkatra]

^Wants to re-name the United States to the Fragmented Lands.

[GenessorDios]

^'s band of misfits who got together to solve crime always ended up piss-drunk in a bar partway through cases. That's what you get when you hire The AA-Team.

[Lunammi]

^ regrets for being a member of Power Rangers

[venuspop]

Is a member of the Power Puff girls.

[Lunammi]

^ worships Him.

[stealthfighter]

^is the twin sister of Helena Bonham Carter.

[venuspop]

Pondering if she should give me a piece of her mind.

[jkatra]

^Sells used cars.

[Espadrille]

^has a swelled head.

[jkatra]

^Has invited you over for dinner every day for the past 5 years, but you never accept.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Is thinking of having his named changed to Wucha Bloney.

[jkatra]

^Rides a donkey to work.

[Espadrille]

Thinks donkeys are fun to talk to.

[Dung]

Belongs to a French gang of shoes fetishists.

[Espadrille]

Doesn't know any French words.

[MacheteGeek]

^Thinks the world is cone shaped.

[Espadrille]

^chews dog bones.

[IronSulfide]

^ stabs people who ask for directions.

[jkatra]

^Thoroughly corrupt.

[EmmaKynikos]

declared moral bankruptcy and asked for a government bailout

[jkatra]

^Amoral ninja assassin.

[gracious]

^ Believes one of the characters in The Avengers was written based on his life.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Gave up on karate after smacking himself in the face with nunchucks.

^^ Thinks she's the pink power ranger.

[gracious]

^ Chucked a winning lottery ticket in the trash after validating it in a pop machine. (That's right... POP).

[thebrainpolice]

^ Invests 15% of her income in scratch off lottery tickets.

[gracious]

^ Spends 85% of his income on lap dances.

[Espadrille]

^performs lap dances for a nickel each.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks that thongs were designed for holding dollars bills.

[Espadrille]

^wears thongs in the shower.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Burns bras.

[gracious]

^ Burns when he pees.

[thebrainpolice]

Tried eating yellow snow.

[gracious]

In the winter he keeps his money in a snow bank.

[Espadrille]

^wears pink flipflops in the summertime.

[jkatra]

^Dresses like it's winter in the summer.

[EmmaKynikos]

i have first hand experience when i say ^ moves like a dead fish in bed. smells like one, too.

[jkatra]

^Attracted to dead fish.

[venuspop]

^ talks to dead ants.

[jkatra]

^Has a pet anteater named Antsy.

[IronSulfide]

^ attracted to mosquito coils.

[jkatra]

^For $500, could be your new best friend.

[Espadrille]

^wishes he had ever seen $500 all at a time.

[MacheteGeek]

^Wishes the stock market was filled with ice cream.

[IronSulfide]

^ Annoyed that Baskin Robbins stock doesn't come in 31 varieties.

[MacheteGeek]

^Talks to his collection of paint brushes.

[gracious]

^ Only paints with lead-based paints and generally eats more than he gets on the canvas.

[thebrainpolice]

Wants to paint her entire house fuchsia.

[gracious]

Wants John Cougar Mellencamp to write a song about my little fuchsia house.

[jkatra]

^Learns valuable things from panda bears.

[gracious]

Throws bleach at pandas to get the black stains off of them.

[jkatra]

^Has learned from experience not to argue with the panda bears.

[gracious]

A great believer in the power of the individual, ^ renamed eucalyptus 'eucalyptme'.

[Espadrille]

^believes in an individual's right to pee in public.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Refuses to free willy.

[gracious]

^ Believes Orcas are found in Oregon and California.

[jkatra]

^Wants Oregon and California to separate from the U.S.

[venuspop]

He wants the US to separate from the UN.

[jkatra]

^Leader of the aliens who will conquer the Earth.

[venuspop]

He is my right hand alien.

[jkatra]

^Illegal alien from a galaxy that no one likes.

[venuspop]

He was sucked into the black hole because he was judged and found not cool.

[Fujimoto]

^ is afraid there will be clowns in the sewer drains.

[MacheteGeek]

^Wants someone to visit him in the sewer.

[Espadrille]

^spends a lot of time in sewers.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Spends a lot of time with her mind in the gutter.

[venuspop]

When his bowling ball goes into the gutter, he jumps for joy.

[thebrainpolice]

Watched The Big Lebowski 300 times.

[venuspop]

Watched 300 three times, the choicest part in slow motion.

[jkatra]

^Slows all motion.

[stealthfighter]

^Accelerates all motion.

[jkatra]

^Runs a motion picture studio that produces children's sex education cartoons.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Wants children to be ignorant.

[jkatra]

^Wants all children to be trained as tax accountants starting in middle school.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks dogs should be trained in CPR.

[stealthfighter]

^Watches children's sex education cartoons from my motion picture studio.

^Insults the entire dog species

[MacheteGeek]

^ Wears a pink beret while he sleeps.

[jkatra]

^Imagines there is no heaven.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Imagines being the opposite sex while sleeping.

[Espadrille]

^would like to have sex while sleeping.

[MacheteGeek]

^Falls asleep while sleeping.

[thebrainpolice]

^ Mistaken for a zombie while sleep walking.

[Espadrille]

^sleeps with a zombie doll.

[MacheteGeek]

^Sleeps with zombies.

[Espadrille]

^eats raw eggs.

[MacheteGeek]

^Lays eggs and eats them fried.

[Espadrille]

^prefers to lie down on a bed of nails. But just to show off.

[MacheteGeek]

^Never misses a cos-play convention.

[Espadrille]

^often misses his mommy.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Is her own grandfather.

[Espadrille]

^really exaggerates out of proportion to any conceivable reality.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Is incapable of generating random thoughts about turtles.

[Espadrille]

^refuses to eat turtle soup even when there's nothing else.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Left the food on the lifeboat.

[Espadrille]

^sunk the lifeboat with his machete.

[jkatra]

^Has millions of slaves.

[MacheteGeek]

^Is the reason we needed the lifeboat.

[Espadrille]

^has difficulty comprehending the concept of large numbers like a million.

[MacheteGeek]

^Thinks her slaves are volunteers.

[Espadrille]

^is a slave to fashion.

[MacheteGeek]

^Isn't a slave to function.

[Espadrille]

^doesn't know how to spread really nasty rumors.:)

[MacheteGeek]

^Is actually an alien living under ice. (I can leave if you prefer. :))

[jkatra]

^Lives in a cave under the ice with a bunch of talking otters.

[DoubleEntendre]

^Has never seen the inside of a washing machine.

[MacheteGeek]

^Lives in a washing machine under the sea.

[Espadrille]

^Eats steamed sea slugs.

[MacheteGeek]

^Tortures slugs with sulfuric acid.

[jkatra]

^Drinks sulfuric acid instead of beer on Friday nights.

[MacheteGeek]

^Dares people to take the red pill.

[jkatra]

^Likes to play truth or dare or poison.

[MacheteGeek]

^Cried when he realized the poison was just vinegar.

[Espadrille]

^cries himself to sleep too often. And sucks his thumb.

[MacheteGeek]

^Is out of rumors and gets drunk while babysitting.

[jkatra]

^Doesn't like things that are evil.

[Espadrille]

^eats pickles with jam.

[MacheteGeek]

^Likes gelatin flavored soda.

[Espadrille]

Really likes yellow jello.

[MacheteGeek]

Once jumped into a vat of red jello--which got everywhere.

[Espadrille]

^thinks that jumping up and down is called dancing.

[MacheteGeek]

^Apparently doesn't know that dancing is not efficient.

[Espadrille]

^imagines himself to be an efficiency expert.

[MacheteGeek]

^Can't handle the truth.

[jkatra]

^Can't handle cobras.

[MacheteGeek]

^Doesn't have hands.

[jkatra]

^Unsympathetic to homeless people.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Is typing from the public library.

[jkatra]

^Burned 37 public libraries to the ground.

[MacheteGeek]

^Only comes to the forum to have friends.

[jkatra]

^Controls all Internet forums.

[discontinuous]

^ Controls the formidable 60Hz hum.

[Espadrille]

^has no selfcontrol.

[discontinuous]

Has a PhD in Obvioustry.

[Espadrille]

Never finished high school.

[discontinuous]

Lowballs at crack of dawn

[Espadrille]

Drinks several highballs at 6pm.

[Gerard91]

^ listens to the radio 24 hours a day.

[MacheteGeek]

^Turned his Xbox sideways while it was running.

[stealthfighter]

^Plans to replace the next-generation Xbox logo with his avatar.

[MacheteGeek]

^Would do large-scale business with Microsoft.

[stealthfighter]

^Has secret plans to sabotage my business deals with Microsoft.

[jkatra]

^Not a rocket scientist.

[stealthfighter]

^Pretending to be an expert in quantum physics.

[jkatra]

^Tourist from a parallel universe.

[stealthfighter]

^Confused of which dimension he comes from.

[jkatra]

^Talking rabbit.

[EmmaKynikos]

is the missing link

[jkatra]

^Talking rhino.

[Gerard91]

^ banned his visitors from using the only bathroom in his house.

[Espadrille]

^banned his own mother from using the only bathroom (on Mother's Day).

[thebrainpolice]

^ Thinks underwear should be banned.

[discontinuous]

^ Wears a thong on election day.

[Espadrille]

Wears a thong on his (or her) head most days.

[thebrainpolice]

^Is Captain Underpants.

[Agent 00]

^ All commando, all the time

[jkatra]

^Master of illusion.

[Espadrille]

^has illusions of grandeur, usually at breakfast time.

[Eye on Earth]

^ Avoids bears in the forest.

[jkatra]

^Walks right up to bears and gives them a bear hug.

[IronSulfide]

^ Likes to dress bears in tutus.

[stealthfighter]

^An invasive species from some exotic country.

[jkatra]

^Lives in a swamp in Florida.

[Espadrille]

^has a swampy smell.

[jkatra]

^Leaves a visible trail everywhere.

[Espadrille]

Misspells his own name.

[deconspire]

runs a sweatshop in her basement making knock-off Gucci.

[jkatra]

^Your mother-in-law.

[stealthfighter]

^Disowned by family.

[jkatra]

^Belongs to a family of werewolves.

[Espadrille]

^sucks raw eggs

[jkatra]

^Radioactive.

[Lunammi]

^ is a hero.

[jkatra]

^Owns all corporations.

[Lunammi]

^ was the president of Soviet Union

[Espadrille]

^^doesn't own anything.

^doesn't work for a living.

[jkatra]

^Camps out in my backyard.

[MacheteGeek]

^ Just plain owns.

[deconspire]

colors worse than a 6 year old